


Feeling This

by 5oclocksomewhere



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-09-15 01:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 180,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9213614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5oclocksomewhere/pseuds/5oclocksomewhere
Summary: Christen is excited to start her freshman year at UNC, rooming with three of her teammates. A last minute transfer changes everything.





	1. Press, uh Christen Press

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've ever written so go easy on me! Constructive criticism is definitely welcome though!!

Christen had always had a Type A personality. She lived for lists and agendas and schedules and all things organization. When things didn't follow her plan, Christen tended to become a bit of a nervous wreck. So when UNC student affairs changed her housing assignment _the day before_ she moved in, Christen struggled to not freak out.

She had just touched down at the Raleigh-Durham International Airport after spending the last several hours on a plane, sandwiched between her parents (so they could both spend time with her, her mother claimed). Christen is antsy to be off the plane and after taking advantage of the free, and surprisingly good, coffee the airline offered, she is in need of a bathroom. She switches her phone off airplane mode and almost immediately it begins to buzz with notifications. Before she can figure out why she had suddenly become so popular, her mom is nudging her to get up and make her way off the plane.

It isn't until Christen is settled into the back of the rental car that she is able to pull her phone out and figure out what’s going on. She has a couple of emails, one from UNC housing and one from coach, and 25 text messages. She decides to check her texts first and quickly realizes that all 25 were from a group chat with her new roommates. They had gotten their room assignments early in the summer and had quickly added each other on social media and shared phone numbers. They talked a lot in the weeks since then, even having weekly Skype dates, and Christen could already tell they would all be great friends. She quickly scrolls through the texts and her confusion and anxiety grow as she reads through what she had missed while on the plane.

**KO** : Did u guys get the housing email?! My room was changed to 318a wtf

**JJ:** Yeah! But mine is 318c...why would they change it when we move in tomorrow?

**Alyssa:** Got the same email, 318c. I'll call and see if I can get any info

**KO:** Good idea...where are you Chris?!

**JJ** : She's probably on her flight silly. But like since we're all still 318 we're still together right?

**KO** : We better be or I will freakkkk out. Chris, how do you not have in flight wifi ugh we need to know that you're still our roooomie!

**KO:** Should we hack her email?

**JJ:** Kelley relax! She's supposed to land in like 2 hours we can wait

**Alyssa** : Okay, spoke to housing. There was a last minute transfer. We're now in a 6 person suite instead of a 4 person suite. There will only be 5 of us though

**KO** : Transfer like to the team?? What do they mean transfer?? Who gets their own room??

**Alyssa** : Depends on Christen's assignment I guess. Julie and I will still share since we both have 318c. If Christen has 318a she's with you

**Alyssa** : And she didn't say who the transfer was but yes to the team

**JJ** : Weird. It's a little late for transfers

**JJ** : omg. Did you guys get coach's email?

**KO** : Holy crap holy crap does that mean we are going to be roommates with Tobin freaking Heath?? I'm gunna die

**Alyssa** : She's going to be a sophomore, why is she living in freshman housing? Talk about last minute transfer! We have our first practice in 2 days!

**JJ** : This is crazy I can't believe our new roommate is an Olympian

**KO** : I'm still dead. Do you think she'll sign something for me? Should I bring my posters? Is that weird? Do you think she'll bring her medal? Do you think she'll let us touch it? I'm gunna pass out

**Alyssa** : Relax O'Hara! I guess we get our answers tomorrow. Can't wait to finally see you guys

**KO** : Not if I die first

**JJ** : I'm so excited!! You're all getting there at 9 right? Can't wait!

**Alyssa** : Knowing my parents I'll be there at 8:30 waiting outside for our keys

**KO** : I will be there just look for the one that's dead

**JJ** : Stop being so dramatic Kelley!

**KO** : Can't help itttt, our roommate is Tobin Heath! Chris text us as soon as you land!

Christen is feeling panicky as she switches over to her email app and opens the email from housing. She sees that she was assigned to room 318a. She quickly shoots out a text to her roommates, "landed safely in NC! Assigned to 318a. I can't believe they changed our room so last minute! How can they just do something like that? We're going to be living with a total stranger (Olympian or not) and we're supposed to be okay with it?"

Christen switches back to her emails and reads the short message from Coach Dorrance. In it he explains that there was a last minute transfer and Tobin Heath would be coming to UNC from UCLA. He requests that the team make her feel welcome and says he will see them Sunday.

Christen spends the rest of the car ride to the hotel alternating between the group chat and googling Tobin Heath. In the group chat Alyssa and Julie are attempting to calm the excited Kelley and anxious Christen. Christen is feeling slightly less anxious from her friends' reassuring words as she reads yet another article about the superstar midfielder Tobin Heath. She reads about how Tobin had started playing with the youth national teams at age 12 and had broken Mia Hamm's record when she earned her first cap with the US women's national team at 15 years and 3 months of age, 2 months younger than Mia Hamm in her first cap. She was also the youngest national team player to be capped in the Olympics in Rio last summer at 18 years old, and the youngest to score with her game winning goal against Sweden putting the US through to the semi final against Brazil, before notching an assist in the 2-1 win over Germany for the gold medal. As she reads, she realizes that there is little to no personal information about Tobin. All she can find is information about her stats and where she has played. Christen already knew most of this...Tobin Heath had become a bit of a household name in America after her amazing performance last summer. However, Christen never would have expected that she would be living with someone so talented and well known. She is again a bundle of nerves as she locks her phone, closes her eyes, leans her head back against the headrest, and attempts to meditate for the rest of the drive.

\---

Christen has a hard time falling asleep that night. After all she is still on California time, and even though the clock says it is 12:15am, her body is telling her that it’s only 9:15pm. It doesn't help that she can’t stop thinking about the fact that not only is she finally seeing Kelley, JJ, and Alyssa in 9 hours, but she will also be meeting an Olympian. Christen is worried about how to act with their new roommate. She feels a little star struck but also really wants to make her new teammate feel welcome. She has seen Tobin play on TV numerous times and she seems flashy and intense. However, she has also watched videos and interviews and in these Tobin seems the opposite of her playing style. She seems modest and laid back and even silly. Christen isn’t really sure what to expect with her new roommate. Exhaustion finally takes over and Christen falls into a deep slumber.

Christen is dragging a bit the next morning. She is usually a morning person, but jet lag is not her friend on this bright and sunny Saturday morning. She groans as her mom shakes her shoulder. "Honey it's already 7:45. We need to leave here in 40 minutes. You get ready and I'll go down and bring you up some coffee," her mom says brightly as she brushes hair out of Christen's face. Christen smiles in appreciation as she slides out from underneath the covers.

She quickly straightens her hair and is putting on some light make up when her mom comes back with coffee from the complimentary breakfast downstairs. "Dad has the car all packed and ready to go. Hurry up and get dressed so he can bring your suitcase down too" her mom states as she places the coffee on the vanity next to Christen's open toiletry bag.

"Alright, gimme 5 minutes. Thanks for the coffee" Christen smiles as she meets her mom's eyes in the mirror. She quickly rifles through her duffle bag, settling on denim shorts, a loose fitting athletic tank top, and a pair of Nike sneakers for her busy day of moving in.

Christen and her parents pull up outside her new dorm at 8:50am. They would have been there sooner but Christen had requested they find the nearest Starbucks after 2 sips of the crappy hotel coffee. They get out of the car and walk over to where there already is a line of people waiting in front of some folding tables. Christen needs to check in at the table and sign some papers before she receives her keys.

As they walk towards the end of the line Christen spots a familiar face in the crowd. "Alyssa!" she calls out. The tall keeper turns at her name and breaks into a wide smile at the approaching brunette.

"Hey Christen" she exclaims as Christen gets closer and pulls her into a hug.

"You're taller than I expected" chuckles Christen. Even though this is the first time the girls officially meet she already feels a bond with Alyssa, as well as her other two roommates. The girls make small talk with each other and their parents chat as they wait for the line to begin moving.

Christen signs one last paper and the women behind the table slides a set of two keys across the table to her. "The big key is for the hall door and the smaller one opens your bedroom door" the women exclaims as Christen picks up the set of keys. She thanks her and is about to turn around when she feels a body barrel into her from behind almost knocking her down.

Two arms wrap around her waist and Christen whirls around in confusion before beginning to chuckle at the sight of her roommate grinning back at her. "Hi Kelley" Christen hugs the freckled girl back.

"CP! How excited are you? Did you see Lyss? I haven't seen JJ yet, did you?" her voice drops in volume and she looks around suspiciously before she leans closer. "What about, you know, the new roommate? Have you seen her yet?" she whispers, eyes wide.

Christen laughs as she watchs the smaller girl bounce on her feet and babble on a mile a minute. "Yes, no, and no. Get your key! I'll meet you up at the room," she states before steering Kelley towards the table and turning to walk back to her parents.

"You got it roomie!...Oh, my parents and I stopped and picked up bagels and coffee, we'll bring it up in a few minutes!" Kelley calls after the retreating Christen who flashes a thumbs up and a grin back to her.

A half an hour later Christen is sitting on her new kitchen counter munching on a cinnamon swirl bagel when Julie burst in to the suite. "I'M HERE!" she announces. Christen hops down and skips over to Julie for a hug.

The next few hours are a flurry of activity as the girls get settled in their new suite. The door opens into a small living room with the kitchen to the right. Past the kitchen is a small hallway with 2 bedrooms on one side and a bathroom then a bedroom on the other side. Christen and Kelley have the first room on the left, across from the bathroom, while Julie and Alyssa have the room on the right, next to the bathroom. The room next to Christen and Kelley's remains empty as the girls move all their stuff in. The bathroom has a double sink vanity then a small room on one side with just a toilet and a small room on the other with just a shower. The dads keep busy with carrying things in from the car and working to set up the large flat screen TV that Kelley had brought for the living room. The moms make beds and clean every inch of the new space. Christen, Kelley, Julie, and Alyssa unpack in between joking around and chatting with each other. Every once in a while one of them peeks in to the third bedroom to confirm that it is still unoccupied. At some point someone's dad leaves and returns with sandwiches and chips and the group eats a quick lunch off paper towels while standing around in the kitchen and living room. Finally, the girls are all moved in and completely exhausted. The group makes plans to all grab an early dinner together before the parents head back to the hotel or to the airport.

Christen tries not to cry as she hugs her parents goodbye in the parking lot outside her dorm after dinner. Her mom gets choked up but assures her that they will see her soon and she should call them every day. She hugs them each one last time and watches the rental car pull out of the parking lot in the humid Carolina evening before turning and heading back to her room.

The 4 roommates lounge in the living room and chat for a while after they all say goodbye to their parents. "Don't you think it's weird that she's not here yet? Maybe they made a mistake and she's not really rooming with us," Julie whispers while glancing towards the bedrooms.

"Why are you whispering?" Kelley laughs. "It's not like she's going to hear you, she's not here." Julie just shrugs and shoots another glance toward the bedrooms. The girls continue talking for another hour or so until the exhaustion sinks in and they all begin getting ready for bed. Their first practice is the next morning and Christen, Kelley, and Julie agree to walk over to the practice field together since Alyssa would need to be there 45 minutes before them for a goalkeepers meeting. They mumble goodnights to each other before heading to their rooms.

Christen trudges over to her bed on the right side of the room and pulls her new blankets around her tightly. Kelley comes into the room seconds later from the bathroom and blows Christen a kiss and says goodnight before flipping the lights off and heading to her own bed. Christen drifts off to sleep almost immediately.

\---

Christen wakes up with a start to a loud bang outside her door. She blinks a few times in confusion as to where she was and what was going on. "Chris? Did you hear that?" she hears Kelley whisper from across the room.

"Yeah, what do you think it was?" she replies.

"I don't know should I go investigate?" Christen can hear that Kelley is drifting back to sleep even through her adventurous offer.

"No, I'm sure it was nothing" she replies as she too feels sleep reclaiming her. Kelley doesn't even respond. Christen starts to drift off when she hears voices though the wall she shares with the empty bedroom. She hears shuffling sounds and laughter through the wall as she falls back asleep.

\---

Christen's alarm begins it's familiar song all too early as Christen is roused from a dream about green grass and white goal posts. She hears Kelley groan from across the room and she gets up and walks to her desk to silence the alarm. "Come on Kells, we have to get ready for practice" Christen prods as she picks up her pile of clothes that she had neatly laid out the night before and begins to change into them. Kelley finally rolls out of bed and begins digging around in her drawers for something to wear.

Christen opens the bedroom door and is greeted by the scent of coffee. She walks into the kitchen and reads a sticky note from Alyssa saying that she had made a pot of coffee for them and she would see them at practice. Christen smiles as she gets out a mug for herself, getting out a second mug when she sees Julie walk into the kitchen dressed and ready to go. "Hey Chris, thanks for the coffee. How'd you sleep?"

"Don't thank me, Lyss made it before she left. I slept okay. I just woke up to noises once. I think maybe Tobin might have gotten in at some point last night," Christen replies.

"Yeah I heard her come in at like 2am and I don't think she was alone," Julie states.

"Well should we wake her for practice?" Kelley quips as she walks into the kitchen and gets herself a mug.

"I guess it would be the polite thing to do," Christen muses as she sips her coffee.

The girls return to their own rooms and get their bags ready, meeting back up in the living room a few minutes later. They briefly argue about who should be the one to go knock on their new roommates door. Christen loses the rocks paper scissors tournament and begrudgingly walks down the hall towards the room. She stops outside the door and listens closely, hearing only silence, before she brings her fist up and lightly raps on the door. She waits for what seems like minutes before glancing down the hallway at Kelley and Julie's eager faces. Julie mouths for her to knock again while Kelley gestures wildly.

Christen turns back to the door and brings her fist up to knock again when the door suddenly flies open. Standing before her in a just a pair of Nike pros and a sports bra is Tobin Heath. Christen quickly looks her up in down with wide eyes, thinking to herself,  _Crap I'm totally screwed if we're expected to be in that kind of shape to play here_. Her eyes move back to Tobin's face as she blinks sleepily back at Christen with a confused look on her face. She cocks her head to one side and raises an eyebrow as Christen continues to stand in front of her wordlessly.

"Oh...right sorry, hi, uhm," Christen gestures to herself, "uhm I'm Press, uh Christen Press, we're roommates, and uh teammates I guess and I, well we, were getting ready to leave for practice and I didn't know if you were coming or if you knew we have practice or if we should wait for you but I just figured I should ask and we can totally wait for you...or not if you don't want us to..." Christen trails off as she feels herself rambling and notices Tobin staring back at her with both eyebrows raised and an amused expression on her face.

"Hi Press uh Christen Press. I'm Heath uh Tobin Heath" the girl mocks. "And yeah give me two minutes and I'll be ready. Forgot to set an alarm," she states then turns back into the room. Christen looks around the bedroom as Tobin digs through a large duffle bag on the floor. There's a smaller bag on the bare bed on the right side of the room and some boxes on one of the desks. Christen takes in the clothes littering the floor before her eyes wander to Tobin's bed on the left wall, right on the other side of the wall from her own bed. Her eyes widen when she notices the bed is occupied. She quickly looks back to Tobin who has put shorts on and is looking around the room with her finger tapping her chin as if thinking. She then walks over to her bed and Christen watches as she shakes the figure laying there.

"Hey...uh...you" Tobin mumbles as she pulls blankets back. Christen watches as a pretty and petite blonde girl rolls over, rubbing her eyes.

"It's Taylor," the blonde giggles as she sits up in the bed.

"Right, Taylor. I need this," Tobin states while tugging on the sleeve of the t shirt the girl has on. Christen watches with wide eyes as the girl shrugs and pulls the shirt off and holds it out to Tobin, revealing that she had nothing on underneath. Tobin mumbles a thanks and pulls the shirt onto her own body before sliding her feet into a pair of flip flops.

"So listen Taylor," Tobin begins as she puts her hair up with a hair tie off her wrist. Before she can finish the girl is off the bed and sliding into a dress that she picks up off the floor.

"Don't worry Tobin, we agreed it was a one time thing. I won't tell your fans and you won't tell my boyfriend," the girl winks as she puts on a pair of heels and picks up a small handbag from the floor. She flashes a smile at Tobin, smiles warmly at Christen, and slides past her out the bedroom door and down the hall. Christen is dumbfounded as she turns back to see Tobin sling a bright orange backpack onto her back and use her feet to flick a worn soccer ball into her hands. She glances around the room once more before turning and grinning at Christen.

"Ready Press?" she questions. Christen can do little more than nod as her brain races to process the scene that had just unfolded in front of her. She turns and follows Tobin down the hall and past Kelley and Julie who stand near the door shooting questioning glances at Christen. Christen mouthes 'later' at her two roommates, grabs her soccer bag off the floor and follows Tobin out the door with Julie and Kelley trailing behind her.

Christen ponders the strange turn of events as they walk down the stairs and out of their dorm. _So she's gay? And has random one night stands? With straight girls? And acts like it's nothing? Who is this girl?_ she wonders as she watches the midfielder drop the soccer ball and flick it back up into her hands every few steps. She can already tell that it's going to be a long year.


	2. Should we pretend we don't see her?

The group gets to the practice field and walks out into the grass, toward the sideline, where about a dozen girls sit pulling on socks and cleats and talking. As soon as they get onto the grass, Tobin drops the ball and slides off her flip flops, dribbling the ball the rest of the way over to the team with her bare feet, her flip flops in one hand. Once they reach the team, Christen, Julie, and Kelley plop down on the outskirts of the group, not really knowing anyone yet. Christen watches as Tobin looks around and breaks into a grin. She carefully lines the ball up and chips it into the air watching with a grin as it strikes a brunette girl right in the back of the head.

"HEY!" yells the brunette as she stands up and whirls around. Christen recognizes her as Lauren Cheney, a junior midfielder and one of the captains of the UNC team. She was also a member of the US Olympic team with Tobin although she was an alternate, so she didn’t receive a medal. "Who kicked that?!" She looks around with an angry glare and most of the other girls watch on nervously. However, when her eyes land on Tobin, who has a huge grin on her face, her glare changes into a smile and she shrieks "TOBIN!" and barrels at Tobin, lifting her into the air and spinning her around. She spins her a few times then places her back onto her feet and smacks a kiss into her temple.

"Hi Cheney," Tobin laughs out, still catching her breath.

"I can't believe you're here and on time! I couldn't be prouder Tobs," Cheney grins at the shorter girl.

"Ah, well pretty Pressy over there made sure I was up and on time. Can you believe my new room came with a pretty girl that doubles as my own personal alarm clock? This place is already better than UCLA," Tobin grins at Christen before turning back to Cheney. Christen blushes and quickly turns back to lacing up her boots.

"Don't pick on our freshman Tobin," Cheney scolds. "You're practically one of them."

Tobin grins and shakes her head before looking around. "Hey where's Arod?"

"Someone looking for me?" the blonde calls out while walking up behind Tobin and Cheney. Tobin slips out from underneath Cheney’s arm and hugs Arod tightly. Christen isn’t too surprised by their familiarity and friendship. Amy Rodriguez was also in Rio with Lauren and Tobin as an alternate. Lauren and Amy had gotten the alternate spots after a handful of older players had been dealing with injuries or pregnancies. Christen had watched all of US Soccer's YouTube videos and one of them had featured the trio, as the youngest players on the national team. Although Tobin was consistently called up to the team and started most games since the Olympics, Lauren and Amy were occasional call ups, usually subs. However, it seemed likely that they would be more consistent call ups as older players retired. Christen realizes she's not the only one who did a bit of YouTube stalking when Kelley nudges her.

"Can you believe all 3 'New Kids' are on our team? We're gunna be unbeatable," she whispers to Christen with wide eyes, referring to the nickname that US Soccer had given the trio. Christen just nods back at her with a smile.

Practice is thankfully an easy one. It's a captain’s practice so Cheney and the other captain, a senior named Becky, run the practice with no coaches. They do some light cardio and small sided scrimmages. Christen closely watches her teammates whenever she isn't on the field. She notes that the team is full of highly skilled players. She watches her roommates closest, thinking that you can learn a lot about a person by their style of play. She sees that Alyssa is an amazing keeper who might steal away the back up keeper stop from the current number 2 and may even rival their starting keeper, Ashlyn. She watches Julie shut down attacker after attacker on defense. Unsurprisingly, Kelley is a ball of energy on the field, running everywhere without tiring and showing off both offensively and defensively. She has already seen Tobin play on television, but watching her in person is another story. Christen has never seen such a technically skilled player before and she's glad that Tobin is donning a blue pinny like herself when she sends cross after cross right to Christen's foot. After 2 hours, Becky and Cheney gather up the girls. "Alright good first practice. Don't expect them all to be this easy. We just wanted to kinda shake some rust out since I'm sure a lot of you have been traveling and moving in. You're on your own until 7pm tonight when we have our first team meeting with Anson and the rest of our staff. Don't be late," Becky informs the team.

"Yeah and I would suggest that you rest while you can because tomorrow we start fitness testing!" Cheney adds. With a few parting words the captains send the team on their way.

Christen sits with Julie, Kelley, and Alyssa and as they sip water and stretch on the sideline. They make plans to go get lunch together after going back to the suite and taking showers. Julie pauses while untying her cleat and looks around at the girls still left on the field. She leans closer to her roommates. "Should we invite Tobin? I mean we should probably like get to know her better, right?"

Christen glances behind her and spots Tobin juggling a soccer ball while talking animatedly to Arod. "I don't know, she's probably busy. We can invite her next time."

The group head back to the dorm while deciding on an order for showers. An hour and a half later they are all ready to go and decide to do a food shopping trip after lunch. By the time they make a list, go grab lunch, do the shopping, and unpack all the groceries, they only have a couple hours before they need to leave for the team meeting. They end up lounging around in the living room and filling Alyssa in on the awkward turn of events before practice that morning.

"Oh man, you should have heard Christen stuttering! I mean I thought I was gunna be so star struck but Chris was like another level! She literally introduced herself as Press, Christen Press," Kelley barely gets out between laughs as Christen glares at her.

"C'mon Kell, I was not star struck. I was just surprised because she answered the door practically naked and there was a girl in her bed who was like actually naked."

"I just can't believe Tobin Heath is gay. Thank god I'm not the only one stuck in this suite with you straight weirdos," Kelley grins.

Christen grows quiet. They had all spoken before about relationships and exes. Kelley was really open about her sexuality. Julie was dating one of the football players at UNC and Alyssa had a boyfriend in high school but broke up with him to focus on soccer. Christen told them that she also had a boyfriend that she broke up with because long distance would be too hard. This was at least semi true. She did have a boyfriend in high school and she liked him, maybe even loved him, but something always felt off. She really liked spending time with him and they were good friends before they ever started dating. He was handsome and athletic and kind and exactly the type of guy that everyone expected her to be with. But Christen just never felt that spark. She didn't get butterflies in her stomach when she saw him or see fireworks when they kissed. He would be frustrated when she would sometimes stop him when he was kissing her or trying to be intimate, but he never pressured her to do anything. They finally agreed they were better as friends around Thanksgiving of Christen's senior year. Since then, Christen had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what had gone wrong in the relationship. She was finally coming to terms with the fact that she likes girls. She hadn't told anyone except for her parents and two sisters.

 ---

Christen thought back to the semi-awkward conversation with her parents. They had been in the car on the way to her grandmother's house for dinner about a week before her graduation in May. Christen had already talked to her sisters about it and they were supportive and encouraged her to tell her parents. Christen finally got up the courage and decided to just tell them. She had cleared her throat and said "Mom, Dad...I need to tell you something, it's kinda important". Her mom had twisted around in the passenger seat with a concerned look on her face.

"What is it honey?" her dad questioned as he met her eye in the rearview mirror.

"Well I don't know how to say this but I think that I may not be exactly straight," Christen stuttered out quickly and nervously, shaking her head at her awkward word choice.

"What do you mean honey?" her mom furrowed her brow, still looking at Christen.

"I just...I don't know but I think I might like girls..."

There was a couple of seconds of silence and Christen wanted to open the car door and jump out on the freeway. Then her mom reached out a hand and put it on her knee. "Okay honey. That's okay. It's okay," her mom rubbed her knee and gave her a small smile before turning back around. Christen did not feel okay at all. She wasn’t really sure what she was expecting, but her parent’s hardly reacting to her declaration was not something she saw coming. When they got to her grandmother's house a few minutes later she got out of the car and instantly felt herself being pulled into her father's strong arms. He held her tight and kissed the top of her head.

"Sweetheart, we love you and are proud of you no matter what you do and who you like. Nothing you do can change that okay?"

Christen could feel tears in her eyes as she nodded her head against her dad's chest. Her mom came up next to them and rubbed Christen’s back and leaned in to kiss her head as well. After Christen felt a little more composed she pulled back and wiped her eyes and they continued up the driveway to spend the day with her grandmother. Christen hadn't brought up her sexuality to her parents again and they hadn't asked. She wasn't ready to really tell anyone else because she was still trying to figure it all out herself.

\---

Christen comes back into the moment and notices her roommates looking at her. She quickly tries to cover her awkward silence. "Well I just hope she doesn't bring random girls home too often since my bed is right on the other side of the wall."

Kelley quickly launches into talking about the girl that slipped out of their suite that morning but Christen can still feel her eyes on her as she pretends to look at something on her phone. The girls head over to the dining hall at 5:30 for dinner and then walk over to McCaskill, the building that houses their locker rooms and meeting room, to be extra early for the team meeting. They walk past Fetzer Field, where they will be playing their home games, and are surprised to see someone on the field kicking a ball around. As they get closer they realize it's Tobin.

Kelley is immediately in a panic. "Should we stop? Should we say hi? Should we pretend we don't see her?"

"Kell, stop being awkward. We can say hi, she's our roommate. We still have 45 minutes til the meeting maybe she'll ask us to play with her," Julie reasons.

Tobin sees them approaching and flicks the ball in their direction. Alyssa snags it out of the air on pure reflex and tosses it back to Tobin. She easily catches the ball on her foot and grins at the girls. "Yo, new roommates, you guys are early," she calls, still balancing the ball on her foot, as they walk out onto the field.

"You're early too," Julie calls back to her.

"Yeah I know, it's definitely a first. Cheney had to be here early to set up chairs or something but I was getting bored in there so she sent me outside."

Tobin dribbles the ball over and sprawls out on the sideline and looks up at the four girls expectantly. Kelley shrugs and plops down next to Tobin and the rest follow her lead.

"So I guess we're gunna be seeing a lot of each other huh?" Tobin looks at the other girls.

"Yeah! So we should probably be friends," Kelley responds enthusiastically.

Tobin chuckles, "yeah, I guess so."

The four girls spend the next half hour getting to know Tobin better. Kelley does most of the talking, peppering Tobin with questions about the Olympics and the national team, which Tobin answers patiently, and sharing stories of her own. She is in the middle of telling Tobin about the domesticated squirrel that lives in her backyard when Lauren walks out of the soccer building, calling for Tobin.

"Oh, I see you're making friends, that's good," she says as she walks towards them. "Hey guys, were all set if you wanna come in and sit down. We'll get started as soon as everyone's here." The girls all stand up and brush the grass off and start to walk towards Lauren. She stands with her hands on her hips watching Tobin. "Tobs, your shoes," she says patiently.

"Right, thanks Chen," Tobin walks a couple steps back down the sideline and slips on a pair of flip flops before walking back towards the group.

"Tobin, the ball," Cheney points behind her out onto the field.

"Yupp, got it," Tobin shoots finger guns at Cheney, who rolls her eyes, before she walks out onto the field, flicks the ball up into her hands, and turns to follow the group into the building.

The meeting lasts for 2 hours. Christen sits between Kelley and Alyssa and pays close attention to every word that is said. The players are introduced to the various members of the coaching and training staff. Coach Dorrance takes over and talks about his philosophy of coaching before breaking down their preseason schedule. For the next few days they will have fitness testing in the morning followed by light practices with team bonding exercises in the afternoon and evening. After that it will heavy training to get everyone fit and meshing well as a team before the season starts. Coach gives them a few words of encouragement before sending them on their way until 9:30am the next morning. After the meeting, the team mills around talking in small groups for a few minutes before heading back to their rooms for the night. Julie heads back to the room right away to Skype with her boyfriend and Alyssa walks over to talk to the goalkeeping coach. Tobin wanders over to where Christen and Kelley stand talking to another freshman, Lindsey.

"Hey are you guys heading back? I kinda forgot my key," she states, grinning at the trio.

"Yeah, I'm exhausted. You ready Kell?" Christen turns to Kelley.

"Go ahead I'll meet you back in a little bit. Lindsey and I wanna check out the locker room."

Christen looks around and sees Alyssa is still deep in conversation with the goalkeeper coach. She turns back to Tobin and shrugs. "Guess it's just you and me. Ready?"

"Yeah I'm tired," Tobin yawns. "Let me just say bye to Cheney and Arod."

Christen stands by the door and watches as Tobin walks over to a group of girls and tugs on Lauren's shirt to get her attention. She says something to Lauren and points over her shoulder with her thumb towards Christen. Lauren nods and wraps Tobin up in a big hug. Tobin then goes and hugs Amy before walking back over to Christen. "Alright let's go."

They walk in silence for a couple of minutes before Tobin tilts her head to look at her. "So about this morning..." she trails off.

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe just not tell anyone about that?" Tobin asks, looking straight ahead.

"Sure," Christen responds.

She hears Tobin sigh in relief and they continue to walk in silence for a few more steps. This time it's Christen who decides to break the silence. "So you and Lauren and Amy seem close."

"Oh yeah for sure, they're the best. Arod is so funny and I don't know what I'd do without Cheney. They're actually like a big reason why I decided to transfer here in the first place."

Christen smiles at the way Tobin's eyes light up and she gets animated when talking about her friends. "Did you not like UCLA?" she questions as they get closer to their building.

"It was okay. I liked being close to the beach. I love to surf and the waves were almost enough to keep me there."

"I love the beach too. I usually walk my dogs over to the beach to watch the sunset when I'm home, but I'm not a big surfer. How come you transferred from UCLA to UNC if you love the beach so much? I mean we’re not exactly close to any beaches here."

"I don't know it just wasn't home I guess," Tobin shrugs as Christen waves her ID card to get them into the dorm.

"Well where is home?" Christen questions as they start up the stairs to the third floor.

Tobin is quiet for a few seconds before she shrugs again. "I guess this is home now," she says as they reach their floor.

Christen furrows her brow in confusion. She is about to clarify to Tobin that she's asking where her home is when she isn't in school, like where her parents live, but something in Tobin's facial expression stops her. She has rarely seen her without a smile but right now she isn’t smiling and she almost looks angry. Christen wordlessly unlocks the door and holds it open for Tobin who walks past her and straight to her bedroom, shutting the door without another word.


	3. I'm majoring in soccer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like a slow burn!

On Monday morning Christen is up before anyone else. She slips out of her bedroom quietly, to not wake Kelley, and goes into the living room. She first schedules her day in her planner before doing some light yoga and meditating. Then, she puts on a pot of coffee and goes back into her bedroom to get dressed. She heads back into the kitchen and spreads peanut butter on a piece of toast as her other roommates begin to stir and get ready. She has just sat down to eat when there is a knock at the door. She walks over wondering who would be at their door so early and slowly pulls it open to see Amy standing there.

"Hi Christen, good morning," she smiles warmly. "I just came by to make sure Tobs is up and ready for practice. She's not really a morning person."

"Oh, sure, come in," Christen pulls the door open wider.

"Thanks. What room?" Amy asks as she walks towards the hall, saying good morning to Julie, who is in the kitchen pouring herself coffee.

"Second on the left," Christen answers, trailing behind Amy, towards the kitchen.

"Okay, thanks Christen."

Christen watches as Amy opens Tobin's door and slips in, pulling the door closed behind her.

"What was that about?" Julie questions.

"I don't know, she said she had to get Tobin up and ready for practice," Christen responds, picking up her toast.

"It's kinda weird right? Like how her and Lauren do everything for Tobin? Lauren was putting sunscreen on her before practice yesterday and I’m pretty sure I saw Amy untying her cleats for her after practice."

Christen shrugs as she finishes chewing and puts her mug into the dishwasher. "I guess they're just really close."

Alyssa joins them in the kitchen minutes later, groaning. "I hate fitness testing, keepers should be exempt."

Christen laughs and looks at the time on the microwave. They still have about 15 minutes until they have to leave. "I guess I should make sure Kell is up," she glances down the hall.

"She's up. She was just going into the bathroom when I walked out. Not sure if Tobin is up though. Christen, you want to go have a re-do of day 1?" Alyssa teases.

"Nope, Amy came to wake her up today," Christen explains as Kelley skips into the kitchen. She pops herself up to sit on the counter and swings her legs as she pours the last of the coffee into her mug.

"I love fitness testing," she exclaims with a wide smile.

The other 3 girls stare at her in horror while she sips her coffee. "How could you love fitness testing you freak?" Alyssa asks in an astonished voice.

Kelley shrugs. "I dunno? Maybe because I'm fit and I always win?" 

"It's not a competition Kell," Julie states flatly.

"Everything is a competition," Kelley insists. She hops off the counter, puts her mug in the sink and disappears down the hallway. She emerges seconds later with her backpack slung over one shoulder and quickly walks over to the door. "See? I'm the first one ready to go so I win."

Christen rolls her eyes as she moves Kelley's mug from the sink into the dishwasher and uses a dishtowel to wipe up the splashes of coffee that she had left on the counter. The other girls get their stuff together while Kelley waits impatiently in the living room. A few minutes later they are all ready to go but Tobin and Amy still haven't emerged from Tobin's room. Julie knocks gently on the door to tell them that they were leaving and to ask if they should wait. The door cracks open and Amy pops her head out.

"No, go ahead, we'll meet you at the field in a little bit," she says before retreating back into the room and shutting the door.

 

The girls get to the field and walk into the locker room to put their bags with extra clothes into their lockers. They walk back out onto the field and sit around sipping water. They are split into groups and begin the various tests to judge their fitness levels. Christen has just finished the vertical jump and the max sprint and is sitting and waiting for her group to begin the beep test when Tobin and Amy finally walk up. Amy goes and talks quietly with Coach Anson while Tobin sits at the far end of the bench looking out at the field. Anson goes and squats next to Tobin, talks to her for a few minutes, then gestures to the soccer building across the corner of the field. Tobin nods and picks up her backpack, walking towards the building.

"I guess Olympians don't need fitness testing," a sophomore forward, Sydney quips from next to Christen. Christen just shrugs and watches Tobin walk up the stairs into the soccer building. Anson talks to the other coaches and walks up to the building after Tobin. Fitness testing continues for a while, and true to her word, Kelley outlasts everyone else and sets a new team record on the beep test. Christen isn't fully pleased with her performance on the vertical jump or beep test but is glad to know she is the second fastest sprinter on the team, just behind Sydney.

The team trudges up the steps of the soccer building and head to the locker room to shower and change. Tobin and Anson walk out the door as the team walks in, talking quietly, Anson with his arm around Tobin’s shoulders. After showering and getting dressed, Christen and Kelley head out together to go back to the room for a while before they have to meet back up with the team for a dinner and team bonding exercises. When they walk out of the building they see Tobin on the field, doing the beep test by herself, while Anson watches, clipboard in hand.

"Why didn't she just run it with the team? I hope she doesn't break my record," Kelley says with a concerned look on her face.

"I don't know she was super late then her and Coach were inside for the rest of the time. Maybe she's like sick or something."

"She doesn't look sick," Kelley comments as Tobin makes the dreaded beep test look easy. "Can we stay and see if she beats my record? Please?"

"Uh, I guess, but isn't that kinda awkward?"

"Nope." Kelley plops down on the bench and pulls out her Gatorade bottle from her bag. Christen sits down next to her and they watch Tobin, who drops off one level before tying Kelley's record. Kelley pumps her fist and grins at Christen, "I'm still the best."

Christen just smiles and shakes her head and squirts some water into her mouth. Tobin walks over to where they sit on the bench. "Pressy can I get some of your water?" she pants out.

Christen's eyebrows raise at the new nickname but she hands her bottle over without a comment. Tobin flops down onto the grass in front of Kelley and Christen and squirts water into her mouth. "Did you like the show?" she questions looking between the two girls.

"We were just watching to make sure you didn't break my beep test record," Kelley states confidently.

"I could have if I wanted to," Tobin smirks. "Just didn't wanna make you feel bad. You guys going back to the room? I needa shower."

Christen nods and stands up, "yeah, wanna walk with us?"

Tobin squirts more water into her mouth and squints up at Christen. "Yeah let's go before Cheney and Arod get out here. They want me to register for classes or something."

"You haven't registered?" Kelley gasps as she stands up. "The deadline is tonight. Oh man you're gunna be stuck with the worst classes."

Tobin shrugs and reaches her hand out to Christen. "Help me up Pressy?"

Christen takes Tobin's hand and pulls her to her feet. Tobin hands her the water bottle and grins at Christen. "Thanks. You're out of water. Let's go." With that Tobin turns, picks up her backpack up off the bench, and starts walking.

Kelley and Christen watch for a few steps before Kelley calls out to her. "Tobin, the room is this way."

She turns on her heel with a wide, toothy smile still on her face, "right, you guys lead the way."

\---

A couple of hours later Christen is sitting on the chair in the living room scrolling through Instagram. The group had just returned from grabbing lunch in the dining hall. Alyssa is in her room napping, Julie sits on the floor painting her nails, and Tobin sits on the couch talking to Kelley about surfing, while she hooks her Xbox up to the TV. Once she has it all hooked up she puts in FIFA and tosses Tobin a controller.

"Is it weird playing as yourself?" Kelley questions as they navigate the menu.

"Nah, not really but I think they shoulda given me a higher rating. Like at least an 88 or something. Also, I don’t think they did a great job on the graphics. I’m way better looking than that," Tobin shrugs as they start up a game.

"Were you ever nervous during the Olympics?" Julie asks randomly from her spot on the floor.

"Not really nervous, more excited. I couldn't sleep the night before the final because I was so stoked to play. I was rooming with Hope and she was getting so mad that I was keeping her up. Finally I just dragged my mattress across the hall into Cheney and Arod's room and we stayed up so late talking about what we would do if we won. I never really get nervous, I don't know, I just always want to play."

"I wish I could be like that," Christen adds from her spot in the chair. "I'm always so nervous before games or even before practices. I couldn't even imagine not getting nervous before playing in front of all those people."

Tobin wrinkles her nose in a smile at Christen, "you just forget the crowd when the whistle blows though. It's just like any other game."  

Julie laughs from the floor, "easy for you to say! I'm with Chris, I definitely get some pregame jitters."

Kelley is about to add something when there's a knock on the door. Christen jumps up to answer it and opens it to see Lauren with a laptop and notebook in her hands. She smiles at Christen who pulls the door open wider to let her in. "Hey Christen, where's Tobs?" she asks as she walks in and sees Tobin on the couch, mid game with Kelley. "Tobin, there you are! I told you to wait for me after you finished fitness testing. We're getting you registered for classes right now," she says as she squeezes onto the couch between Tobin and Kelley and opens her laptop. Christen sinks back into her spot in the chair.

"Ugh, Cheney I'm winning," she groans as she pauses the game.

"Barely!" Kelley counters as she leans forward to look around Cheney at Tobin.

"That's fine Tobs, you can keep playing. I barely even need you for this. I woulda just done it without you but Arod said I should let you have a say."

Tobin shrugs and unpauses the game. "I trust you Chen. Just put me in whatever, I don’t care."

"Alright I know you talked to an advisor on the phone when your transfer went through," Cheney begins as she types on her laptop. "Did you declare a major?"

"Cheney, how many times do I needa tell you this? I'm majoring in soccer," Tobin says as if exasperated.

Cheney shakes her head and elbows Tobin in the side. "I'm being serious Tobin," she scolds.

"Alright alright," Tobin winces, her eyes never leaving the TV. "Yeah, I declared a major. Something with a 'C' I think? I don't know."

"A 'C'? Chemistry? Calculus? Communications?" Cheney questions.

Tobin nods, "yeah yeah yeah, that last one."

"Communications? That's my major too," Christen states from her spot across the room.

"I'm leaning towards comm too," Julie adds.

"Perfect," Cheney muses as she continues to click. "I'm gunna put you in classes with your roommates Tobs. Built in tutors. Right?" she asks as she looks between Christen and Julie.

Julie shrugs and Christen looks back at Cheney and nods. "Sure, I'll forward you my schedule," she says and clicks into her emails on her phone. Julie picks up her phone from the floor to do the same.

A half an hour later Cheney shuts her laptop and leans back. "Alright, there weren't a ton of options left since you waited so long. I have you in one class by yourself, one with me, one with Amy and me, and two with Christen. Sound good?"

Tobin doesn't even look up from the game of FIFA, "sure Cheney, whatever you say."

Lauren rolls her eyes and stands up. "I'm gunna print copies of your schedule for everyone on the team so we can make you go to classes. They won’t let you stay on the team if you fail all your classes Tobs." When she gets no response she leans over and grabs Tobin's controller.

Tobin looks up at her in dismay. "Cheney, what the heck?"

"Say you'll go to your classes and do your work this semester and you can keep playing."

"Yeah, sure I'll do my classes and go to work, whatever you want Chen," she rushes out while reaching up for the controller.

Cheney rolls her eyes and gives it back to her. "Good enough. I'll see you guys at the meeting room in like an hour. There's gunna be plenty of pizza but if you want something else just bring it with you."

After the door closes behind Cheney, Kelley looks over at Tobin. "So, what is Cheney like your mom or something?" she asks as their FIFA game ends, Tobin winning 5-4.

Christen looks at Tobin and sees something, she's not sure what, flash in her eyes at Kelley's question. "Or something," she mumbles as she gets up and tosses the controller onto the couch behind her. She walks down the hallway and they hear her door close firmly.

Kelley's eyes go wide and she looks from Julie to Christen. "What was that all about? It was a joke, jeez."

 

Christen and Julie busy themselves with baking cookies while they wait until they have to leave for the team dinner. When they have 10 minutes until they have to leave and Tobin still hasn't emerged from her room the group decides that one of them should go check on her. Kelley quickly puts her finger on her nose and calls "Nose goes." Christen is drying the cookie sheet and is slow to realize what's going on. By the time she turns around in confusion, her 3 roommates all have a finger on their nose and are looking at her expectantly.

"Fine, I'll go again," Christen groans before trudging down the hallway. She pauses at Tobin's shut door and listens. She hears nothing so she raises her hand and gently knocks. "Tobin?" she softly calls out at the closed door. When she hears nothing she turns the knob and opens the door a crack and calls out again. "Hey Tobin? We're getting ready to go..." she trails off as she peers into the dimly lit room.

She looks around the room, which looks vastly different than the last time she saw it. Tobin has pushed the two beds together so she has one large bed instead of two twin sized beds. The duffle bags and clothes that littered the room last time she saw it are nowhere in sight. In fact the room is quite bare, with no pictures or posters in sight. After quickly taking in the room, Christen's eyes land back on the bed and the figure curled up on top of it. Tobin is laying on her side on top of the blankets with her back to the door. Christen clears her throat and speaks a little louder, "Tobin? Did you want us to wait for you?"

She watches as Tobin slowly rolls over and brings her hands up to rub her eyes. She yawns and sits up, blinking sleepily at Christen. "Pretty Pressy, you’re being my alarm clock again?" she mumbles with a small grin on her face. "What's up?"

Christen feels her face redden at the nickname and she isn't sure if it's in embarrassment or anger. _Pretty Pressy? Where does she get off just giving people random nicknames like that?_ Christen shakes her head to clear her thoughts and refocuses on Tobin. "We're getting ready to go. Want us to wait for you?"

"Yeah, that'd be sweet. Lemme just get changed," she answers as she swings her legs off the side of the bed.

"Okay just meet us in the living room when you're ready," Christen says as she backs out and pulls the door closed behind her.

A few minutes later Tobin emerges wearing white jeans ripped all up the legs, a gray v-neck, flip flops, and a backwards snap back over her messy hair. Christen takes in her outfit and feels a twinge of something, _jealousy,_ she thinks to herself, that Tobin can pull off such an effortlessly cool look.

They walk over to the soccer building in a tight group. Tobin questions them about their club and high school soccer days but Christen notices that she deflects most questions about her own youth soccer days. She mentions playing for the youth national teams but doesn't share much beyond that.

\---

After the team dinner and silly games that Anson insisted they play, Christen, Kelley, Julie, and Alysssa head back to the suite without Tobin. She still isn’t home when they go to bed, but on Tuesday morning Christen has just begun her yoga in the living room when a short brunette slips out of Tobin’s room and leaves the suite, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with her. Christen shakes her head in disbelief and continues her routine. Tobin comes out a few minutes later in shorts and a sports bra and grabs a Gatorade out of the fridge. She walks into the living room and grins when she sees Christen, who sits down on her mat, resigned to the fact that she won’t be finishing her stretches. “Don’t stop cuz of me Pressy. I don’t do yoga but I don’t mind watching you do it,” Tobin says, taking a swig of Gatorade. Christen starts rolling up her mat, looking down in an attempt to hide her red cheeks.

“No, I’m done. You’re up early,” she remarks, glancing up to where Tobin is still watching her.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Tobin replies, grinning as if she’s told a joke.

“Oh. That sucks. That’s Alyssa’s Gatorade by the way,” Christen picks up her mat and stands. Tobin looks down at the Gatorade and shrugs, taking another sip. Christen walks past her towards her bedroom, looking down at her phone to avoid staring at Tobin’s abs. She quickly gets ready and heads to the field early to take shots on goal, knowing her focus on striking the ball with power and precision will clear her mind of all thoughts of her frustratingly carefree roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this chapter but I like the next one better so I'll try to get it out quickly!


	4. It's actually pretty hot in here

On Wednesday the team has their first two training day. Anson gathers them at the end of their second grueling practice.

"Alright ladies, good job today. We're going to keep busting our asses like this for the rest of preseason because I want everyone match ready by our first game. I'm trusting you all to be responsible for your own recovery. I know today was hard work so now you need to do whatever you need to do to be ready to do this all over again tomorrow. Ice bath if you need to, see a trainer if you're injured, stay hydrated, roll out your muscles, stretch, do whatever your body needs for recovery okay? If you guys kick ass and hustle hard tomorrow morning we can full field scrimmage tomorrow afternoon. Got it?"

The team all nods and breaks off into their own conversations as they turn away from the huddle.

"CP, you wanna ice bath? I think that's where most of the team is headed," Kelley pokes Christen in the side.

"You go ahead Kell, I wanna take a few more shots first."

Kelley raises her eyebrows at Christen, "okay psycho, but don't complain to me when your legs are sore tomorrow!"

Christen shakes her head as she watches Kelley jog to catch up with a few teammates walking off the field. She turns back to the field and grabs one of the ball bags. She empties it out and lines up 10 balls right outside the 18. She takes each shot with her right foot. One shot hits the crossbar, one goes wide, and one is just over the net. Christen scolds herself for not getting over the ball and locking her ankle before heading to gather each ball and repeat the process with her left foot. She does this until she makes all 10 with both feet. This had become sort of a ritual for Christen. Whenever she wasn't completely satisfied with her performance in a game or training, which was pretty much every game and training, she just worked harder. She pressured herself to be better and she never felt like she was good enough. Her parents thought she was too hard on herself but Christen knew that she was going to have to put in the work if she wanted to achieve her goals of playing professionally one day.

She bags up the balls and dumps them in the equipment room before heading into the locker room to take off her socks and cleats. Only a few of her teammates remain, getting dressed and chatting. Christen grabs a towel, ditches her sweaty training top, and heads to the training room for an ice bath. The training room is deserted when she gets there and she sighs as she slips out of her flip flops and empties another bag of ice into the white blow up pool that staff has set up for the team. She dips a toe into the ice cold water and sighs again. Christen absolutely hates the cold. She finally stops stalling and slides into the pool. She gasps as the cold water covers her skin and bits of ice touch her bare stomach.

"Cold?" She hears from behind her.

She looks to see Tobin standing in a sports bra and shorts with a towel in one hand and her phone in the other. She nods as Tobin walks closer. "You care if I join you?"

Christen shakes her head, too cold to form words. Tobin smiles and steps into the ice bath, letting out her breath as she lowers herself into the water, her hands on the sides. Christen watches Tobin's abdominal muscles contract at the contact with the cold water. When she trails her eyes up to Tobin's face she sees Tobin is looking back at her and grinning. She immediately feels her cheeks redden. _Great, she probably thinks I was like checking her out or something_ , she thinks to herself as she tries to come up with something to say that will make the situation less awkward. Before she can come up with anything, Tobin breaks the silence. "It's not that cold pretty Pressy. It's actually pretty hot in here."

Christen opens her mouth to reply but she can't find her words and after a second she closes her mouth. She simply shakes her head and tries to look anywhere but at Tobin. After a couple seconds she finally has the courage to speak up. "Who said you could call me that?"

"What? Pretty Pressy? Does it bother you?" Tobin looks at her with a furrowed brow.

Christen nods but then shakes her head. "No, I guess not, I don't know. It's just you barely know me and already gave me a nickname and it's not even shorter than my real name which is like the whole point of nicknames in the first place. I don't know," Christen realizes that she's rambling and gesturing with her hands and she quickly shuts her mouth and lowers her hands to sides of the pool, copying Tobin's stance.

Tobin laughs and throws an ice chip at her. "Well, we could change that you know."

"Change what?" Christen asks in a confused tone.

"The fact that I barely know you. I could get to know you. Friends use nicknames right?" she explains as she tosses another ice chip in Christen's direction.

Christen swats the ice out of the air and considers Tobin's proposal. "Yeah, I mean we're living together so we probably will have to get to know each other anyway. But does it have to be pretty Pressy?"

Tobin smiles widely at Christen. "Well...Christen," she draws out her name dramatically, "your last name is Press and you're very pretty so pretty Pressy fits. But I guess I could try to come up with something else. I’ll get back to you and in the meantime we’ll stick with pretty Pressy."

Christen feels her cheeks redden again and she chews her bottom lip while she tries to think of a clever comeback. She glances back at Tobin and sees that she is staring at Christen's lips with an unreadable expression on her face. Christen releases her lip from between her teeth and turns and leans out of the pool to check the time on her phone. She sighs when she sees that only 4 minutes have passed since she got into the ice water. She still has 4 minutes to go with her frustrating roommate to bother her. She feels an ice chip hit the back of her neck and she turns back to Tobin.

"Texting your boyfriend?" Tobin teases.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

Tobin nods, "texting your girlfriend?"

Christen squeaks out a no and tosses an ice chip back at Tobin. Thankfully Tobin just smiles, shrugs, and changes the subject.

"How come you didn't take your ice bath with the rest of the team?"

"I wanted to take some extra shots on goal. Why didn't you take yours with the rest of the team?"

"I was on the phone. Are you hungry?"

Christen briefly wonders who Tobin was on the phone with but decides not to ask. "Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. Why?"

"Wanna go get something to eat after this? I'm sick of grilled chicken and salads from the dining hall. I need a burger."

Christen considers saying no. She isn't sure what it is, but something about Tobin gets her flustered. _She's one of the best young soccer players in the world. You're just nervous and a little jealous_ , she tells herself. She looks at Tobin who is staring back at her with a hopeful expression on her face. "Sure. Burgers sound good."

Tobin smiles widely and tosses yet another ice chip at Christen. "Sweet. I'll drive."

Christen picks up a handful of ice and throws it in Tobin's direction in retaliation. Tobin gasps and starts to laugh as she is hit with ice and splashes of cold water. She puts both hands under the water and Christen gets ready to block any incoming ice chips. Tobin surprises her by quickly lunging towards her and placing two icy hands on her cheeks. Christen squeals and squirms away from Tobin, who's still laughing. She opens her mouth to say something but is cut off by a phone ringing. Christen glances to where her phone rests on her towel and sees that the screen is black. "Not mine. Must be yours."

Tobin stands and climbs over the edge of the tub, flicking some ice water towards Christen and grinning before striding over to her phone and towel. She dries her hands on the towel and picks up her phone. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere," she says over her shoulder to Christen as she slides her thumb across the screen. Christen nods and watches as Tobin puts the phone to her ear and walks toward the door, dripping a trail of water behind her. "HARRY!" she yells with the phone to her ear. "I miss you."

Christen listens to Tobin's laughter as the door swings closed behind her. _Harry?_ she thinks, _m_ _aybe she has a boyfriend? But she sleeps with girls. Maybe she's bi? Or maybe he’s just a friend?_ Christen isn't sure why she's so curious. She leans over and checks the time on her phone and sees that over 8 minutes has gone by. She quickly steps out of the cold water and grabs her towel. She rubs it over her cold legs trying to warm up. She then slips on her flip flops, grabs her phone, and walks out of the training room, listening for Tobin's voice as she turns in the direction of the locker room. She doesn't hear anything so she walks into the locker room, pulls out her toiletry bag, and heads to the showers.

Fifteen minutes later she is back in the locker room, pulling a clean shirt on when Tobin strolls in, still in her damp shorts and sports bra with no shoes. "There you are! I thought I told you not to go anywhere. Lemme shower quick then we'll go, okay?"

Christen nods as she holds a hair tie between her teeth and pulls her hair back into a pony tail. Tobin tosses her phone into her locker and walks over to Cheney's locker. She steals Cheney's shampoo and body wash and turns to Christen with a smile. "Don't tell, okay?" 

"Your secrets safe with me," Christen answers seriously with a hand over her heart. Tobin just laughs and walks towards the showers.

Christen finishes getting ready and packs up her bag while she waits for Tobin. Tobin walks back into the locker room five minutes later, wrapped in a towel with her wet hair over one shoulder. She puts the shampoo and body wash back into Cheney's locker before walking to her own and digging through her bag for clothes. Christen sits in her locker, grabs her phone, and tries to avoid watching Tobin get dressed. She sneaks a few glances at her toned body and admires how the muscles in Tobin's back and shoulders contract as she pulls on a clean sports bra. Tobin turns around to face Christen in her sports bra and shorts. She smiles sheepishly, "uh I forgot a clean shirt."

Christen rolls her eyes and digs into her bag and tosses Tobin an extra t shirt. Tobin catches it and thanks Christen before pulling it over her head. Once she has the shirt on she looks down at it. "What's T-O-C-A?"

"I train there when I'm home in California," Christen explains.

Tobin nods and pulls a snap back on over her damp hair. She slings her orange backpack over one shoulder and grabs her phone out of her locker. "You ready?"

Christen gets up and grabs her own bag and follows Tobin out of the locker room. As they walk, Tobin digs in her backpack and pulls out a lanyard with keys on it. "Sweet. I remembered my keys," she grins at Christen.

Christen laughs, "yeah, but I think you forgot shoes."

Tobin shrugs. "Shoes are overrated."

When they get to the parking lot, Tobin leads them to a black four-door Jeep Wrangler with a soft top. "You can just toss your bag in the back seat or whatever. Sorry, it's a little messy." 

Christen climbs into the passenger seat and turns to place her bag behind her. She looks around the backseat and takes in the 'mess'. There's a soccer ball and two pairs of cleats behind the drivers seat, a long board propped up against the seat behind her, and a couple of empty water and Gatorade bottles littering the floor. All in all it's not that messy and Christen turns back around as Tobin climbs into the drivers seat. She slides on a pair of Raybans from the center console and starts the Jeep.

"Did you drive all the way from California?" she asks.

Tobin laughs as she reverses out of the parking spot. "No way man, that'd take forever. I had it shipped. Expensive but worth it."

"Did you go home before coming here?"

Tobin doesn't take her eyes off the road to answer. "Nah. I came straight from California. The national team had a camp and the friendlies against France in LA and NorCal in June and it’d be pointless to fly back to Jersey before then so I just crashed with friends or teammates for a few weeks after classes ended in May and a few weeks in July before flying out here."

"Do you ever get home sick traveling and being away so much? I'm home sick already and it's been less than a week."

Tobin shakes her head. "I've been doing it since I was like 12 or 13. Got used to it I guess."

"Well at least you're closer to home now than you were at UCLA."

Tobin shrugs, "I guess."

Christen looks out the window and they drive along in silence for a couple of minutes. When they stop at a red light Christen can feel Tobin's eyes on her. She looks over and sees that Tobin is smiling widely at her before she turns back to the road as the light turns green. Christen suddenly feels self-conscious. "What?" she questions Tobin.

Tobin shakes her head and lets out a small laugh. "Nothing. I was just thinking of all the goals I'm gunna get you this season," she says as she pulls into a parking lot.

Christen laughs, "if I even play."

Tobin pulls into a parking spot and looks at Christen seriously. "Chris, don't tell Arod I said this, but I think you're our best striker. Of course you'll play. Trust me, okay?" she says earnestly as she reaches out and puts a hand on Christen's forearm.

Christen looks at her hand then into her face and nods. "Okay," she says softly.

Tobin grins and releases her arm. "Good. Now let's go eat."

Christen gets out of the Jeep and walks around to where Tobin is standing in front of the open back and rifling through a duffle bag. Christen notices another soccer ball and another pair of what look like brand new cleats next to the bag. “How many pairs of cleats do you have?”

Tobin glances at the cleats then up at Christen as she tugs a pair of flip flops out of the duffle bag. She shrugs as she drops them onto the pavement and slides her feet into them. “I dunno, Nike sends me new ones whenever I want. They just made me those because they thought I might like the Carolina blue colorway. I like my orange ones best though. They remind me of a sunset.”

Christen nods and picks up the blue and white cleat. She checks the size and smiles. “Hey, we wear the same size. If you ever have too many I’d be happy to borrow some,” she teases.

Tobin shrugs again, “you can have them if you want. I’ve got plenty and I hate breaking in new cleats.”

Christen laughs and tosses the cleat back into the Jeep. “No, that’s okay I was just kidding. The cleats I have are fine.”

Tobin closes the back and turns to Christen. “Ready?”

“You lead the way.”

Tobin leads her past a crowded patio into a small building. A sign advertising ‘Al’s Burger Shack’ hangs above the door. Tobin nods out to the patio. “Why don’t you get us a table? I’ll order. What do you want?”

Christen looks up at the menu. “Uh, just the vegetarian burger with no onions is fine.”

Tobin nods, “okay, I’ll meet you out there in a few minutes.”

Christen heads out to the patio just as a group is leaving and snags the table for her and Tobin. She pulls her phone out of her pocket as she waits. She answers a text from her mom to let her know that practice went well and that she would call her tomorrow. She then answers a text from Kelley, who is asking where she is. She is scrolling through Instagram when a tray appears in front of her, loaded with food.

“I didn’t know if you wanted an order of regular fries or sweet potato fries so I got both. I also got a vanilla shake and a chocolate shake so you can pick which you want and I’ll drink the other.”

Christen laughs at the amount of food in front of her. “Just the burger and a water would have been fine, Tobin. But I’ll take chocolate and how about we share the fries?”

Tobin sits down across from her and hands her the chocolate shake. She takes the cover off of her vanilla shake and dips a few fries into it before sticking them in her mouth. She then picks up her burger and takes a huge bite, sending a closed mouth smile in Christen’s direction. Christen shakes her head and smiles before picking up her own burger.

A half an hour later Christen sits back, sipping on her chocolate shake and watching Tobin finish up both orders of fries. She looks out towards the street at passing cars when she lets out an involuntary gasp. Tobin’s eyebrows shoot up and she looks over her shoulder at the street before turning back to Christen and tilting her head to one side. “What? I don’t see anything.”

Christen feels her cheeks redden in embarrassment and looks down at her milkshake. “Sorry, a car drove by with a cute dog looking out the window and I got excited.”

Tobin bursts out laughing and Christen feels her cheeks redden even more. She throws her straw wrapper at Tobin. “Stop! It was the cutest little puppy!”

Tobin continues to chuckle at Christen. “So I’m assuming you like dogs? Do you have any?”

Christen’s eyes light up and she spends the next 10 minutes telling Tobin all about her two dogs and showing her pictures of them on her phone. Christen realizes that's she's rambling and wraps up the story she was telling. "So now that you know like literally everything about my dogs and my obsession with them, what about you? Do you have any dogs? Or just any pets in general?"

"Nah, I like dogs a lot but I've never had one."

"What about siblings? I have 2 sisters."

Tobin slips her shades on, stands up, and grabs the tray full of trash. "Yeah, I have 2 sisters too. And a brother," she mumbles as she turns to go throw their trash away. "You ready to head back?"

Christen nods and follows Tobin off the patio. "How much do I owe you?" she asks as they're walking back to the parking lot.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Consider it payment in advance for when you help me with my classes," Tobin waves her off.

Christen laughs "alright, deal." They spend the drive back to campus talking about the start of classes in a few weeks. When they get back to the room they open the door to find all of their roommates, and four juniors: Cheney, Arod, Ashlyn, and Ali gathered in the living room.

"Tobin! We were looking for you! I texted you!" Cheney yells.

Tobin laughs, "Cheney, chill. We just went to get food. I wasn't looking at my phone, I think it's dead. Sorry."

"That's okay, we were just getting to know your roommates better while we waited for you," Arod says.

"Okay, but why were you waiting for me? What's up?"

Ali claps her hands together. "We're planning the party!" she squeals.

"The party?" Tobin asks as she takes her backpack off and drops it to the floor in front of the door and starts to walk towards the couch.

Cheney puts her hand up signaling Tobin to stop. "Go put that in your room Tobs. Then we'll talk about it."

Ashlyn snorts from her place on the floor as Tobin picks up her backpack and walks towards her room. Christen also goes and puts her own stuff down, returning to the living room and sitting on the floor, leaning against the chair where Kelley is sitting. Tobin comes in and wiggles her way in between Cheney and Arod on the couch, draping an arm over each. "Okay, so what party?"

"It's an annual thing we do. All the teams here for preseason get together and do a big party to celebrate surviving the first week. Most coaches give Sunday off so we're doing it this Saturday. It's always at the football house off campus because it's huge. Usually it's us, football, men's soccer, and women's volleyball, but random other people show up too. Each team brings a keg but it's mostly BYOB. We were just planning who our DDs will be and for our pregame. We’re doing the pregame off campus in the house that Ali, Ashlyn, Crystal, Whit, and Becky rent out. Usually the pregame is as much fun as the party. It's way better bonding than any of Anson's games or meetings," Arod explains. "Usually the seniors kinda take the lead but our seniors aren't big partiers so this year the juniors are doing the planning. But Cheney wanted to involve you," Arod looks over at Tobin. "Who knows why...we all know you can't party," she teases.

Tobin puts a hand over her heart in mock offense. "Rude Arod. So rude. I think our time in Rio proves that I can party way harder than you."

Arod laughs and playfully shoves Tobin. Cheney leans forward to look them both in the face. "I'm getting drunk so I'm not babysitting either of you on Saturday so you both better behave," she states seriously. "Tobs, Alyssa is gunna DD for you guys and she's gunna make sure that she takes the five of you, and ONLY the five of you back here at the end of the night. No bad decisions okay?" she says with a pointed look at Tobin.

Tobin appears unfazed. "Sure, whatever you say Chens."

Kelley laughs from her spot in the chair. "Tobin, just reminding you that we share a wall. You're lucky I’ve been dead tired the other times!"

Tobin shoots daggers at Kelley and Christen elbows her legs. Kelley's smile quickly fades as she realizes that maybe she wasn't supposed to share that. Christen tries to think of a way to quickly change the subject but right as she's about to open her mouth, Cheney reacts. "Other times? What does she mean other times, Tobin?"

Tobin, who has suddenly found picking at a loose thread on her shorts very interesting, just shrugs. Arod quickly jumps to her rescue and puts her arm behind Tobin and on Cheney's shoulder. "Not now, Lauren," she says softly.

Ashlyn breaks the awkward silence. "Sooo, me and Whit will go pick up the keg Saturday and bring it over to the football house. Ali and Becky are gunna hit the liquor store while we do that. Do you guys have any requests? If you give Ali the money we can pick it up for you."

They spend the next hour planning for the pregame and the party and just talking. After about 15 minutes, Tobin had gotten up and headed to her room. Cheney had followed about a minute later. Then another 15 minutes after that, Arod had looked at her phone and also gotten up, heading to Tobin's room. Christen watched this unfold in curiosity, but had turned her attention back to the conversation. At around 8:30, Ashlyn got up and held a hand out for Ali, pulling her off the couch. "Alright guys, we're gunna head out. I'm glad we got to know you guys better though, now I'm pumped for Saturday. See ya in the morning."

The group says their goodbyes and the four roommates start getting ready for bed. Christen is standing in the bathroom, brushing her teeth, when she hears Tobin's door open. She watches in the mirror as Arod walks past the bathroom. "See ya tomorrow Christen," she says as she walks by and meets Christen's eyes in the mirror.

Christen just waves and continues getting ready for bed. A few minutes later she heads into her room and climbs into bed. Kelley, who is already in bed, turns on her side to face Christen. "Did I fuck up? I didn't know it was some big secret that she has had girls here? What, is Cheney like her girlfriend or something?"

"I don't know Kell. She told me not to tell anyone after the first night but she never said anything the other day and it's not your fault that she never told you not to tell," Christen answers, laying on her side to face Kelley in the darkened room.

"What's the big deal anyway? And then the three of them all disappear into Tobin's room? Weird, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. Arod left but I didn't see Cheney leave."

"Tobin's kinda...I don't know, like mysterious I guess. Like she never talks about anything personal. It's always just soccer or surfing or random stuff like that" Kelley muses.

"We’ve only known her a week. Maybe she's guarded because she's like kinda famous," Christen reasons.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. But it's not like we're gunna go like sell stories to the media or something. We're her teammates and her roommates."

Christen yawns, "maybe it'll just take longer for her to trust us."

Kelley rolls onto her back. "You're so smart CP," she teases. "Wake me up if I snooze too long okay?" 

"Will do Kell. Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post this yet butttttt I had a really promising grad school interview this morning, the NWSL college draft is in 2 days, and USWNT January camp starts in 3 days, so I'm in a pretty good mood :) Next chapter should be posted by the weekend!


	5. Let's go get wasted

The next morning Christen wakes up and keeps the routine that she has established over the past few days. She writes out her agenda for the day, does her yoga, starts the coffee, and meditates while the coffee brews. She then pours herself a mug of the steaming beverage and gets out a mug for Alyssa, who had just walked into the kitchen. They talk for a couple minutes before Alyssa heads to the field for goalkeeper training and Christen goes to make sure Kelley is up.

When Christen, Kelley, and Julie stand in the kitchen ready to go and Julie wonders aloud if they should wait for Tobin, Christen doesn't even request a rock, paper, scissors game and instead just sighs, "I'll go." She heads down the hall and knocks softly on Tobin's door. A few seconds pass and the door opens just enough to reveal Lauren instead of Tobin. "Oh, sorry, we were just getting ready to go and I didn't know if we should wait for Tobin or not. I didn't know you were still here though," Christen stutters out.

Cheney gives her a small smile. "It's okay Christen," she says quietly. "You guys go ahead. We'll meet you at the fields."

Christen nods and Cheney closes the door again. Christen heads back to her roommates, wondering why Cheney spent the night. She tells her roommates what happened as they walk out of the suite and down the hallway.

"Weird. Maybe Cheney really is her girlfriend," Kelley wonders.

Julie laughs at the statement, "I don't think so, Kell. Cheney has a boyfriend, she was talking about him the other day in the locker room."

"Maybe Cheney just slept over because they were hanging out last night and maybe Tobin just really isn't a morning person," Christen reasons.

"Ugh I guess so. I still think the whole situation is weird though," Kelley complains.

 

The team is already 15 minutes into practice when Tobin and Cheney arrive. They quickly lace up their boots and join the rest of the girls on the field, where they are doing some drills and dynamic stretching to get warmed up. The team moves onto some one v one drills, then crossing and finishing drills, before breaking off into teams to scrimmage with small goals. Christen notices that Tobin plays with a little more aggression than previous scrimmages. Her tackles are a little harder, her moves around defenders are a little more ruthless, and her directions to teammates are a little harsher. After a particularly hard tackle on Cheney, where she didn't get the ball at all, Anson had seen enough. "Heath, take a lap and cool down. That would have been a card." Tobin brushes grass off her legs and takes off running for her lap around the field. Coach shakes his head and blows his whistle for the scrimmage to continue.

Tobin is still running, on her fourth or fifth lap around the field when practice ends. The team heads into the locker room with glances in Tobin's direction and some quiet murmurs between them. Christen asks Alyssa if she can take some shots on her and sits down near the goal to wait while Alyssa runs in to use the bathroom. She watches as Tobin sprints across the opposite goal line, slowing to a walk as she rounds the last corner. She walks with her hands on her head towards the bench where Cheney is waiting for her. She watches Tobin slowly approach Cheney. When she gets there Cheney stands in front of Tobin and puts a hand on each of her shoulders. After a minute she moves her hands up and wipes Tobin's face and pulls her in for a hug. She turns to the bench and grabs a bottle of water handing it to Tobin and patting her on the shoulder, before turning and jogging towards the soccer building. Tobin pulls her training top up to wipe her face then sits down on the bench, stretching her legs out in front of her and squirting water into her mouth.

Alyssa appears moments later and Christen starts lining up balls to take shots on goal. After a couple shots she feels eyes on her and realizes Tobin is watching from the bench. For some reason this makes Christen nervous and she feels herself getting flustered. She skies the next ball and has to take several deep breaths and refocus. She strikes the next 10 with deadly accuracy and force and Alyssa can do little to stop any of them. "Damn Chris, I might as well not even be here," Alyssa laughs as she gets up from the ground after unsuccessfully diving for the 10th ball. "You good? I'm ready to shower and go home for a nap."

"Yeah, thanks Lyss. You go ahead, I’ll bag up these balls," Christen says while walking towards the net. Alyssa nods and picks up her towel and water from next to the net before jogging off to the locker room.

Christen picks up the ball bag from next to the goal and walks around the post to gather up the 10 that sit in the back of the net. She then picks up the bag to go grab the 2 that should be behind the net. She looks up to see Tobin standing just inside the six with both balls at her feet and a water bottle in each hand. "Nice goals pretty Pressy. Got your water," she says while holding up the water in her right hand. "Got these for you too," she lightly taps one of the balls towards Christen.

Christen smiles as she picks up the ball and puts it in the bag. She walks to Tobin dragging the bag behind her. "Thanks," she says before bending and grabbing the last ball. She takes the water from Tobin's hand and Tobin reaches out for the ball bag. "No, it's okay Tobin. I got it."

Tobin shakes her head and pulls the bag from her hands anyway. "Don't worry about it," she says while throwing the bag over one shoulder.

Christen tries not to stare at Tobin's toned biceps and instead takes a long drink of water. She glances sideways at Tobin as they walk. “Are you okay? You seemed pissed during the scrimmage. You and Cheney okay?” she asks cautiously.

Tobin pauses to swing the bag over her other shoulder before answering. “Yeah, I’m okay. Cheney and I just had a disagreement but it’s all good now. She and Arod just care a lot and sometimes it’s kinda overbearing and annoying and I just wanna do my own thing. I know they’re always just tryna look out for me but I can handle myself. I think it’s just adjusting since they couldn’t really be there for me at UCLA and now that I’m here, we’re still trying to figure things out. And sometimes I get a little heated and take out my frustrations playing,” Tobin explains. She grins at Christen as they walk side by side up the steps into the building. “Ya worried bout me, Pressy?”

Christen shakes her head, still trying to figure out what Tobin is even talking about. _What are they trying to figure out? And what was the disagreement about? And why are Cheney and Arod overbearing?_ she wonders, but isn’t brave enough to ask Tobin. “Nope, not worried. Just being nice and making sure you’re okay.”

Tobin nods and Christen waits while she tosses the ball bag into an equipment closet. Tobin turns and waves a hand at Christen. "Go ahead, I hafta go up and talk to coach anyway. I'll see you back at the room or something."

Christen is about to ask Tobin why she has to talk to coach but Tobin walks past her towards the stairs, in the opposite direction of the locker room before she can say anything. Christen turns and heads to the locker room instead.

 

The team has a full field scrimmage at practice that evening. Christen's team loses by 3 goals but Christen is able to notch one goal on an assist from Kelley. Tobin's on the other team and her playing style is back to normal. Christen tries not to be too upset about her loss and vows to just push herself harder the next day. After showering and changing, the 5 roommates head back to the suite together. Kelley and Tobin play FIFA, while Christen, Alyssa, and Julie play a game of Bananagrams. They all go to bed early after a long day and Christen falls asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow.

The next few days pass by quickly. Tobin actually wakes up on time to walk with the group to practice, without anyone having to go wake her up. She seems to be in a better mood and makes conversation with everyone. She tells them some funny stories from youth camps and national team camps. Practices are tough but everyone is getting to know each other better and they're building good on field chemistry. The team only has one training on Saturday and by the time they are in the locker room after practice and recovery, they're buzzing with excitement for the party that night.

Everyone showers quickly and heads out to the dining hall together to grab lunch as a team. After lunch they talk for a while before people start heading out to get ready for the night. Once back in the room, Kelley and Alyssa both decide to take naps and Julie lets Kelley nap in her bed so that her and Christen can get ready in their room. Tobin disappears after lunch but shows up at the suite a half an hour later with two containers of McDonald's pancakes. Christen is in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to brew for her and Julie when Tobin walks in and sits at the kitchen counter. She opens one of the containers and pours syrup over the pancakes and starts to eat, even though she had eaten lunch just an hour or so before.

"Who's this one for?" Christen asks, pointing at the other container of pancakes.

"Me," Tobin mumbles through a mouth full of pancakes. She chews and swallows before looking up to meet Christen's eye. "I'm hungry and I can’t survive on dining hall salads like the rest of the team," she grins. Christen just laughs and pours two mugs of coffee, adding a splash of creamer to each, before walking back into her room.

Julie puts on music at a low volume and starts showing Christen the different outfits she's considering for the night. An hour later the girls have both picked their outfits and get dressed. Christen decides on white shorts, a gray tank top, white sandals, and a jean jacket in case she gets cold. She walks into the kitchen and puts her and Julie's empty mugs in the dishwasher. She pauses to throw away the empty McDonald's containers that Tobin had left on the counter before heading to the bathroom to get her straightener. Rounding the corner of the kitchen into the hallway she walks straight into Tobin, who is holding her phone up in front of her face and grinning, instead of looking where she was going.

"Oh, sorry," Christen says, startled as they collide.

Tobin just laughs, "no, that's my bad."

"Who's that? Is that you're roommate? Lemme see, Harry! Move your thumb!" Christen hears from Tobin's phone.

Tobin pulls Christen next to her by the arm and moves her phone. Christen sees that she is face timing a pretty blonde. "Christen, this is Allie, my best friend and former teammate from UCLA. Harry, this is Christen, one of my roommates and my new teammate."

Christen smiles but glances at Tobin a little confused. "Who's Harry?" she whispers.

Tobin and Allie both laugh. "It's just our nickname for each other. Don't ask," Tobin explains.

"Okay, well it was nice to kinda meet you, Allie. I’m excited to play against you!" she smiles and gives a little wave at the blonde.

"Nice to kinda meet you too! Take care of Tobin for me!" Allie waves back.

Christen moves around Tobin and continues to the bathroom. She hears Allie's voice behind her. "She definitely is pretty, Harry. Also I'm totally telling Alex that you said I'm your best friend from UCLA."

"Please don't. You know how she gets." Tobin whines back. Christen grabs her straightener and heads back to her room, closing the door behind her. Christen’s mind is already racing. The way Allie said ‘she definitely is pretty,’ made her sound like she was agreeing with Tobin. _Tobin told her I’m pretty?_ Christen wonders. _Wait Tobin thinks I’m pretty?_ Her head is spinning and she’s not really sure why this revelation is affecting her this way.

"Who were you talking to?" Julie questions from her spot on the floor in front of the mirror on Kelley's closet door, where she is curling her hair. Her question pulls Christen out of her daze.

"Tobin is face timing a friend from UCLA and I accidentally walked into her so she had me say hi," she explains, while waiting for her straightener to heat up.

Christen straightens her hair while Julie goes to wake Kelley and Alyssa up so they can start getting ready. Christen finishes straightening her hair and starts on her make up. She laughs as Kelley dances around behind her while getting dressed, having turned the volume on Christen's bluetooth speaker way up. Christen finishes up and walks in the kitchen to make the guacamole she said she would bring. Tobin is lounging on the couch, still in her clothes from after practice, reading a surf magazine. When she hears Christen in the kitchen she wanders in. Christen looks up as Tobin walks in and looks her up and down. "Lookin' good pretty Pressy. Whatcha making?"

Christen feels her cheeks heat up and she is quickly reminded of Allie’s remark from earlier. She avoids meeting Tobin’s gaze and turns back to the counter where she is spooning avocado into a bowl. "I told Ali I would make guac for the pregame. Julie bought chips."

"Hmm okay, I guess I better go get ready," Tobin says, wandering back out of the kitchen and down the hall. Christen finishes making the guacamole and puts a cover on the Tupperware, stashing it in the fridge until they leave. Christen cleans up the kitchen and is sitting in the living room with Julie and Alyssa while they wait for Kelley and Tobin to be ready to go.

Tobin walks in first wearing denim cutoff shorts that are very short and make her tan legs look even longer, flip flops, a black t shirt, some light make up, and a snap back over her wavy brown hair.

Christen feels an unfamiliar flutter in her chest as she takes in Tobin’s effortlessly cool appearance. Everything about Tobin is effortless, she thinks. It’s incredibly frustrating to Christen the way the tanned midfielder constantly toes the line between carefree and careless. She’s hard to read, always seeming to be in her own world, tuned in to what’s going on around her but too cool to care. Christen notices it in practice when the team is in a huddle and coach is talking and Tobin is on the outskirts, facing a different direction or staring into space, looking utterly bored with the whole situation. She notices it in the way Tobin deflects personal questions with a shrug and a question of her own, coupled with smiles that make you forget you had asked her a question in the first place. She especially notices when Tobin makes comments or remarks that she knows will make Christen flustered. Tobin sees the way Christen blushes and can’t meet her gaze, Christen thinks, but she keeps right on with her nicknames and cheeky grins and offhand compliments and Christen thinks it might be driving her crazy because she can’t figure Tobin out and she has this need to figure things out and compartmentalize everything in her mind. So, she tries not to dwell on the poorly executed wink that Tobin sends her way as she enters the room, looking like a dramatic blink with both eyes instead, and she ignores the warmth in her chest as Tobin continues to grin at her and flops down on the couch.

Tobin tosses a lanyard with keys to Alyssa who's sitting in the chair. "Here's my keys, DD. You better drive safely. I fucking love that Jeep."

Alyssa laughs and holds up her hands, "don't worry, I'm the safest driver. I promise."

Kelley walks in a few seconds later and the group stands to leave. Kelley lets out a low whistle. "Can I just say that Alyssa, you are one tall drink of water, I mean damn look at those arms! And Julie, that Zach is one lucky guy, and Tobin, it should be a crime to look better than everyone here when I know you only spent like 5 minutes getting ready, and Christen, ow ow if you weren't my roommate I would be all over that. Basically what I'm saying is you guys are hot!" she finishes and claps her hands together. They all laugh as they gather up their belongings to leave.

"Thanks Kell, you're not bad yourself," Christen winks as she walks to the kitchen to grab the guacamole.

Kelley clutches a hand to her heart and pretends to swoon. "A compliment and a wink from the one and only Christen Press? I could die," she says dramatically.

Christen rolls her eyes and walks past Kelley towards the door. The group makes their way out to Tobin's jeep. Alyssa drives, with Tobin riding shotgun to 'supervise'. Kelley, by choice, sits in between Christen and Julie in the backseat.

"Ahh, squished in between two hotties. I think I had a dream like this once," Kelley starts.

Tobin and Alyssa start laughing in the front while Julie lets out an exasperated "Kelley!" and Christen slaps Kelley's leg. Kelley just laughs and pulls out her phone to take a selfie of the three girls in the backseat. At the click sound her phone makes when she snaps the picture, Tobin turns in her seat to look at them.

"Oh, guys I forgot to tell you this but if you could just avoid getting me in any pictures or like tagging me in anything that'd be sweet. Some of the fans go a little crazy so I try to stay low key on social media," she explains.

Christen and Julie both nod and say okay. Kelley pouts between them, "well that sucks! I wanted a picture of the 5 of us!"

"We can still take the picture," Tobin laughs. "I'm just asking you not to put it online."

Kelley shrugs, "alright deal, we'll just take a freshman only one for my Instagram."

Tobin nods and turns back around in her seat. They arrive at the house for the pregame moments later and pull up at the same time as another car full of teammates. "Syd!" Kelley yells. "Can you come take a picture of us?"

Sydney nods and comes over, taking Kelley's phone from her hand. Christen ends up between Kelley and Tobin for the picture. She snakes an arm around each of their backs and Kelley puts her arm behind Christen. Tobin throws an arm over Christen's shoulder and Christen tries to ignore how hot Tobin's skin feels on her own. Sydney snaps a few pictures and then Kelley yells, "okay, Tobin get out! This ones for the gram!"

Tobin laughs and lifts her arm off of Christen and walks up the steps towards the front door. Sydney snaps a couple more pictures before holding Kelley's phone back out to her. "Okay, enough pictures guys, let's go get wasted!" Syd says before leading the way into the house.

The pregame starts off slowly. Everyone mingles and munches on appetizers and sips on beer or an alcoholic punch that Kristie, Sam, and Steph made. Christen stands in the kitchen, sipping her first cup of the punch, and chatting with Ali about the vacation that her and Ashlyn had taken over the summer. After a while, Sydney stands on a chair and whistles loudly to get everyone's attention. "Alright, everyone needs to get a drink and come out back on the deck! It's time to play a game and start seriously drinking before we head over to the real party!"

"Ugh," Ali groans. "I hope you don't have secrets, Christen. This game gets a little rowdy."

Christen gets a little nervous. "What game?" she questions.

"Ash will explain the rules when we get out there. It's one that we kinda made up as a team. For like team bonding or whatever," Ali explains while grabbing two handles of vodka. "Can you grab the little red solo cup shot glasses? We better bring out chasers too. Grab the lemonade and a liter of coke if you can."

Christen nods and grabs the sleeve of disposable shot glasses and the two drinks. She follows Ali out a sliding glass door and onto a large wooden deck. Her teammates are all sprawled on deck furniture or sitting on the deck itself in a loose circle. She finds a spot on the deck next to Kelley and Alyssa, who's sipping water as the DD.

Ashlyn stands in the center of the circle and claps her hands. "Alright, upperclassman you know the rules but freshman, and transfers," she adds looking at Tobin, "listen up! The game is simple. You draw a card from the deck and do different things depending on the suite. If you draw a diamond it's never have I ever. Everyone puts up three fingers. The person who draws the card says something they've never done. If you've done it you put a finger down. First person, or people, with all 3 fingers down has to drink. If you draw a heart you get to pick 3 people and ask them one question each. If they don’t want to answer the question they have to take a shot. If you draw a spade everyone drinks at least a sip. And if you draw a club you get to pick someone for truth or dare. If they don't want to do the dare or answer the question they take a shot. The point is to get to know each other better so don't pick the same people over and over again. The other point is to get drunk so don't be a bitch and take tiny baby sips when you have to drink. Any questions?"

No one has any questions so Ashlyn takes a seat and starts the game by drawing a card. She draws a diamond and Ali groans next to her. “Okay everyone three fingers up. Never have I ever,” she drawls out while looking around the group with a smirk. “…made out with a dude,” she finishes with a laugh. Christen puts a finger down and looks around to see who else has put down a finger. She notes that Ashlyn, Tobin, and Meghan all still have 3 fingers up. As her eyes pass over the group she misses the small frown that Tobin shoots at her two fingers.

Whitney is next. She side eyes Ashlyn before stating “Never have I ever made out with a teammate.” Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin, another freshman Emily, and Kelley all put a finger down.

Sydney stares wide eyed at Tobin. “Was it a national team teammate?!” she yells across the circle.

Tobin laughs and shakes her head. “No, most of them are way older than me and Arod always shoots me down,” she jokes. “Alyssa it’s your turn,” she gestures to the keeper, trying to take the attention off herself.

Alyssa thinks for a moment. “Never have I ever smoked weed.”

Christen puts a finger down. She tried it once with her ex at a party but ended up disliking it because it made him so handsy. She looks around and meets Tobin’s eye. Tobin waggles her one finger at Christen, grinning. Christen, Tobin, Kelley, Emily, Ali, and Syd are the ones left with one finger up.

Christen looks around the group trying to think of something that will end the round. “Never have I ever…gone surfing.”

Tobin puts her finger down and picks up her PBR, taking a swig. Ali also puts her finger down and sips her punch. “How have you never surfed?” Kelley asks in disbelief after sipping her beer. “You’re from California!”

Christen shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I’m more of a lay on a towel than go in the water type of person.”

The game continues and the team gets drunker. There are a few more rounds of never have I ever, a few silly dares, and a bunch of spades, requiring everyone to drink. Christen draws a spade and Kelley goes next, drawing a heart. “Ooh questions! Hmm let me think…” she looks around the group. “Okay, Captain,” she starts, looking at Becky. “Who’s your favorite freshman?”

Becky laughs, “that’s easy, it’s JJ, center backs stick together,” she says, smiling at JJ.

“Okay, rude. Christen, who do you think the best player on our team is?”

Christen immediately knows her answer but thinks for a minute about if it will seem weird to blurt it out. She decides that it won’t be weird, after all she is an Olympic gold medalist. “Tobin,” she says smiling at Tobin across the circle. Tobin shoots finger guns back at Christen, grinning.

Kelley rolls her eyes and looks around the group again. Suddenly her eyes light up with mischief and she gets a big smile on her face “Okay, Tobin. Who was the teammate you made out with?”

Tobin’s ever-present grin falters for just a second as she looks up from her beer at Kelley. “A teammate at UCLA,” she states, nonchalantly.

Kelley leans in. “What was her name?”

Tobin looks around to see the whole team waiting for her answer. “Nobody here knows her,” she shrugs.

“You have to tell us! It’s in the rules,” Syd exclaims.

Tobin leans forward and grabs one of the red solo shot glasses and a handle of vodka. The team watches as she pours the shot and tosses it back without even flinching. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and looks between Syd and Kelley. “Nope, now I don’t have to tell you.”

The game continues and Christen isn’t asked any questions or dares. She’s on her second glass of punch and is feeling quite tipsy. They’ve only gone around the circle once and there’s still a lot of cards left when Cheney looks at her phone. “OKAY LADIES!” she yells to get everyone’s attention. “Finish your drinks and lets all take a shot for the road!” She hands out the miniature red solo cups and Ashlyn goes around filling the shot glasses with cheap vodka. They pass around the chasers for anyone who needs one. Once everyone has a shot, Cheney again moves to the center of the circle. “Freshman and Tobin listen up, I know that you’ve only been here with us for a week but I just want you guys to know that this is more than a team. We are a family. Your problems are our problems and we will always have each others’ back on the field and off the field. And that’s enough sappy shit for one night I think. Alright Heels drink up!” she yells, raising her shot glass. There are echoes of ‘cheers!’ and ‘go heels!’ as the team tosses back their shots.

The football house is about 2 blocks away so a lot of the girls decide to walk. Kelley drags Christen to the bathroom with her and when they come out the only people left are Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin, and Alyssa. Alyssa offers to drive them and they walk out with Kelley yelling shotgun and running to the jeep. She hops in the passenger side and the rest of the group walks up. “We’re gunna have to squeeze,” Ashlyn says, realizing that there are four of them and 3 seats in the back.

Christen ends up getting in last on the driver’s side, squeezing in next to Tobin. Once she’s in the jeep and has the door closed Tobin turns to her and makes a face. “This isn’t gunna work,” she slurs. Christen freaks out internally trying to figure out what Tobin means when suddenly she feels Tobin’s left hand on her waist and her right hand scoops under her legs, pulling them over Tobin’s legs so that Christen is basically sideways across her lap, with her back against the door. Tobin grins and keeps her left hand on Christen’s hip and rests her right hand on Christen’s knee. “Much better,” she states simply. Christen’s skin feels hot where she is contact with Tobin and her senses feel like they are in overdrive. She assumes that it’s due to the cramped backseat and the alcohol in her system and focuses on breathing until they arrive at the party.

They pull up to a huge rundown looking house and can see a few people milling about on the front porch. Before Christen can move, Tobin slides her left hand from her hip around her back, opening the door and leaning a little closer to Christen as she goes. She scoops her right hand back under Christen’s legs and slides them out of the jeep, basically carrying Christen. She places Christen on her feet, keeping a hand on her waist to steady her. Christen doesn’t even realize that she was holding her breath until Tobin moves her hand and turns away from her to close the jeep door behind her.

The group heads up the walkway to the front door of the house. Christen can hear the bass thumping before they even get onto the porch. They walk inside and are met with loud music and people everywhere. They push their way through the house. Ashlyn and Ali veer off to talk to someone and Alyssa heads out into the backyard to find some of their teammates. Christen, Kelley, and Tobin head to the kitchen to grab drinks. A couple of the football guys are standing in the kitchen sipping beer from red solo cups. One of them let's out a whistle when they walk in. "Damn! Freshman are getting hotter and hotter! You ladies must be soccer girls right? Can I get y’all some drinks?" one of the guys asks.

Kelley rolls her eyes and grabs an empty cup off the counter. "I'm going outside for the keg, meet me out there," she says to Christen as she walks past.

Christen looks back to the football players and attempts to be polite. "Uhm sure, I don't really know what I want though. What do you guys have?" she asks while craning her neck to peer around them at the alcohol on the counter. Tobin stays next to Christen, leaning on the doorway to the kitchen and looking around.

One of the football players grins at Christen's question. "Don't worry beautiful, I'll make you something," he says before turning to the alcohol. Christen watches closely as he pours from a few different bottles before pouring a few different fruit juices into the cup. He grabs a pink straw out of a box on the counter and stirs the drink with it. He then hands it to Christen with a wink. "There you go babe, come find me later okay? And what about your friend here, you want anything gorgeous?"

Tobin pushes off the wall and plucks a cup off the counter and starts walking towards the backdoor. "Nah man I'm just gunna hit the keg. Thanks though. You coming Pressy?"

Christen nods and gives a small wave at the guys before following Tobin outside.

Tobin leans close to Christen as they walk. "That dude was hitting on you," she says lowly, her breath tickling Christen's ear.

Christen shrugs and sips the surprisingly good drink. "I'm not interested. At least I got him to make me a drink though."

Tobin grins as they walk towards the keg. "Good point, you're a smart one pretty Pressy."

They walk up to the semi circle around the kegs to find Kelley and Syd doing a keg stand competition. Syd bows out first and everyone cheers for Kelley. Tobin walks up to get some beer and somehow finds herself roped into the next competition against Meghan, or Kling, as the team calls her. Christen laughs as Tobin pretends to stretch her arms and Kling dances around hyping up the small crowd. A few male soccer players pump the kegs and others stand around, ready to hold up Tobin and Kling's legs. Tobin takes her hat off and turns around, putting it on Christen's head before turning back to the keg and grabbing the sides. "Alright bend both your knees if you wanna get down," one of the guys instructs as Kelley and Syd get ready to hold the hoses for Kling and Tobin.

Tobin kicks her legs up and the soccer guys hold onto them to keep her upside down. Kling does the same on the other keg and Syd and Kelley put the valves into Kling and Tobin's mouths. "Ready, set, go!" one of the guy yells and Syd and Kelley open the valves to let the beer start flowing.

Christen can't seem to tear her eyes off Tobin. She looks from her long, slim but muscular legs up her body to where her shirt has ridden up and shows off her toned stomach. Her eyes continue up Tobin's neck, which she can see moving as she swallows the beer, to her face. Her eyes are squeezed shut and she has a look of determination on her face. Christen takes in her strong shoulders and the way her biceps and forearms are extra defined as she holds her body weight. Kling taps out first, after making it about 20 seconds. The whole crowd starts cheering for Tobin and the cheers get even louder when Tobin starts doing push ups with her hands on the keg. After another 10 seconds she bends her knees and the guys lower her to the ground. She wipes her mouth and runs a hand through her hair before she turns around, plucking her snapback back off of Christen's head with a grin, placing it backwards on her own head. She then turns to the crowd, high fiving and fist bumping the guys that were holding her up. Christen gulps down the rest of her drink while watching Tobin’s smile shine brightly in the dimly lit backyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how about that NWSL draft? It felt like it went on forever! And now I can't wait for the season to start. At least January camp starts tomorrow, I bet we'll get some slo-mo videos of the team training and random LA scenery lol


	6. Drunk me is so kind

Christen wakes up in her own bed, still wearing her clothes from the night before. She has a pounding headache, is nauseous, and her throat feels dry. She lies in bed, thinking about how she should go get a bottle of water, but instead she tries to piece together the events from the night before.

She remembers watching Tobin do the keg stand. She also remembers going back inside and doing shots with Arod and Ali. She remembers laughing and holding onto Kelley as they snuck around trying to find a bathroom on the second floor, which had been off limit to the party goers. Finally, she has a faint memory of dancing, but other than that it's all a blur.

Christen rolls onto her side and sees that Kelley is passed out in her own bed, also wearing her clothes from the night before, and cuddling what looks like a granola bar. Christen looks at her phone and sees that it's only 5:30am. She decides she needs to pee, drink a whole bottle of water, change into something comfy, and then go back to bed, and hopefully wake up feeling better.

She slides out of bed and stands up and immediately feels dizzy and has to grab onto her bed to keep her balance. She realizes that she's still tipsy from the night before and groans as she stumbles out of her room and into the bathroom. She pees and washes her hands and goes into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. She chugs it down quickly and is walking back to her room when she sees that Tobin's door is open. Christen's curiosity gets the better of her and she walks over and peeks inside.

Tobin is sprawled out sideways across the two beds, lying on her back in the jean shorts she was wearing the night before and a sports bra. Her feet are hanging off the side of the bed and her hair is lying wildly across her face and before Christen really even registers that her feet are moving, she walks closer and gently brushes the hair out of Tobin's face. She looks around the room while she's there. She notices an open book on the dresser next to Tobin's bed and shuffles a little closer. She first takes in the picture lying in the crease of the book. It's a family picture and Christen giggles at young Tobin, right in the middle, at an awkward stage, where she looks to be about 13. Her hair is messy and windblown and she's smiling brightly with braces on her teeth in a grass stained white soccer uniform. There are two older girls that look like Tobin, that Christen assumes to be her sisters. There's a little boy, that must be her brother, looking up at Tobin and smiling. Finally, her eyes trail to who she assumes to be Tobin's parents. They each have an arm around Tobin and are smiling warmly at the camera. Christen smiles at the picture and notices that the book that it lays on is a bible. She looks around the room once more before turning back to the bed.

She runs her eyes over Tobin's sleeping form once more before drunkenly tiptoeing out of the room, pulling the door gently shut behind her. Once back in her own room she strips out of her shorts, tank top, and bra, leaving them on the floor, before pulling on an oversized T-shirt and climbing back into bed. She falls asleep almost instantly and doesn't wake up again until she feels her blankets being pulled back and someone climbing into bed with her.

"Move over Chris, I'm hungover and I need to cuddle," Christen opens her eyes to see Kelley pouting at her.

"Ugh, Kell, go back to your own bed. I was sleeping," she groans even while scooting back to make room for Kelley.

Kelley snuggles into Christen's pillows and pulls the blankets back up around her. "No. My own bed is cold and lonely and I wanna lay in bed with my best friend for another hour while we wait for Tobin and Cheney and Arod to come back from church and then were going out for brunch."

Christen is too tired to protest and falls back asleep quickly. She wakes up again to a phone beeping and nudges Kelley. "Kell, wake up, someone keeps texting you."

Kelley groans and feels around the bed for her phone, bringing it in front of her face and squinting at it. "It's Cheney. They want us to meet them for brunch in 20 minutes. Think we can be ready by then?"

Christen nods. "Yeah I think so, if we get up now. Should I go wake up Julie and Alyssa?"

Kelley laughs as she gets out of bed, "jeez, I mean I knew you were pretty drunk with all that dirty dancing, but Chris, how drunk were you last night? Julie didn’t even come back with us. She stayed at the football house with her boyfriend. But I just texted Lyss and she said she'll come."

Christen sits up and stretches. "I was really drunk but at least I didn't go to bed cuddling with a granola bar last night."

Kelley scoffs, "Christen, you can only wish that you did because I woke up at like 7 this morning and ate that delicious granola bar and it soaked up all the alcohol and then I drank the bottle of water that I was also cuddling and now I feel pretty great. Drunk me is so kind and always prepares for hungover me."

Christen just laughs as she climbs out of bed and starts pulling clothes out. Suddenly it dawns on her what Kelley had said and she turns back to her. "Wait. What do you mean dirty dancing? What are you talking about?" she demands.

Kelley laughs, "you don't remember? Oh my god, so you were dancing with some football player then Tobin was all like 'yo, that guy is a tool, someone needs to watch out for our roommate' and then she grabs some random volleyball girl and starts dancing near you, so she can like keep an eye on you or whatever and then you see that and you like push the poor guy away and like wedge yourself between the girl and Tobin and start dancing with Tobin! You guys were something else. It was kinda hot."

Christen's mouth drops open and she sits on the edge of her bed and puts her face in her hands. "Kelley," she groans. "I don't remember any of that! Oh my god, I can't believe I did that. She probably thinks I'm crazy! We can't go to brunch with them! What if she thinks I'm into her or something?"

Kelley senses Christen's genuine distress and sits on the edge of the bed next to her, rubbing soothing circles on her back with her hand. "Well are you? Into her, I mean," Kelley asks softly.

Christen turns her head to look at her roommate, who looks back at her earnestly, before dropping her head back into her hands. "No. I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe?" she sighs.

Kelley continues rubbing her back. "Well have you ever been into a girl before Chris?"

Christen takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I don't know, like I definitely have had crushes and they've been stronger then any crushes I've had on guys but I don't know if I've ever really like had feelings for a girl. I've never kissed a girl or dated a girl or anything like that. I’ve only ever been with guys before but it never felt right. I don't even know if I like Tobin, like she's pretty and I'm jealous of that and of how amazing she is at soccer and stuff, but that doesn't mean I want to like kiss her or something right?" Christen rambles on.

"It's okay Chris, take a deep breath. It doesn't necessarily mean you want to kiss her. But it would be okay if you did want to kiss her, you know? It's okay to like girls and it's okay to like Tobin if you do."

Christen nods. "I honestly don't know if I do. It's confusing." And it is confusing. Christen can’t deny that there’s something there, even if she can’t put a label on the flutter in her chest or the way her breath catches in her throat when Tobin walks into a room or grins at her. She doesn’t know what it is but she knows it’s something.

Kelley gives Christen a small smile and puts her arm around her. "Yeah, it’s confusing. But it's okay to not know. You don't have to figure things out right now. And Tobin was as drunk as you were last night so I'm sure she doesn't remember either. Try not to stress and worry about it okay?"

Christen pulls Kelley in for a hug. "Thanks Kell. You're the best."

"Just to clarify...once you do figure things out please let me be the first to know? How cool would that be if you came out to me first? It would be like I turned my roommate gay!" Kelley exclaims, excitedly.

Christen laughs as she gets up to start getting dressed. "Sorry Kell, I’m pretty sure I’ve always been this way and I already kinda came out to my parents and sisters when I first started getting confused about my feelings last year. But please don't tell anyone else, okay?"

Kelley looks at Christen seriously, "of course Chris, I would never tell anyone."

"Thanks," Christen says as she runs her fingers through her hair. Thankfully it's still pretty straight from the night before, so she just runs the straightener over it again to smooth it down and touches up her make up and is ready for brunch.

 

Kelley, Alyssa, and Christen take Kelley’s car to Breadmen's, a small diner style restaurant that serves cheap brunch. They quickly spot Tobin, Cheney, and Arod and make their way over to the table. Tobin sits in the middle of one side of the booth between Cheney and Arod, and is tucked into Cheney's side with her head in her arms on the table. Cheney is rubbing her back and trying to convince her to drink some water when the rest of the girls join the table. Alyssa slides into the other side of the booth first, followed by Christen, then Kelley. Alyssa raises her eyebrows at the scene in front of her and gives Arod a questioning look.

Arod laughs, "Tobs is a little hungover. She threw up outside of church this morning. It was hilarious."

Tobin groans into her arms and Cheney shoots a glare in Arod's direction. "Stop Amy, she doesn't feel good."

Arod holds her hands up in surrender and leans closer to the other side of the booth. "It was really funny though. She was all pale and then all of a sudden she just bolts out in the middle of service. So Cheney and I had to go find her and she was just sitting on the sidewalk in front of church. We practically carried her to the car," she says in a mock whisper.

"Shut up Arod," Tobin growls into her arms. She finally lifts her head and sits up.

Kelley laughs, "Tobin, no offense but you look like shit."

Tobin flicks the middle finger at Kelley and rests her head on Cheney's shoulder. Cheney brushes hair out of Tobin's face and grabs her cup of water, practically shoving the straw into her mouth to make her drink it. "Everyone leave Tobin alone. We've all been there." Cheney says while looking between Kelley and Arod.

"Yeah, everyone leave Tobin alone," Tobin parrots. She looks across the table at Christen with a small pout on her face.

Christen sends her a sympathetic smile before looking down at her menu.

"I just need a waffle. And maybe some pancakes. And coffee. And probably some bacon too. Oh and maybe apple juice if they have it. Then I'll feel better," Tobin states, leaning away from Cheney and stretching her arms out.

The group chats about the party and Christen is grateful that no one mentions the dancing. They talk about Tobin's keg stand and share other funny stories from the night before. Christen orders an omelet but watches in amazement as Tobin finishes her Belgium waffle, one of Cheney's slices of French toast, one of Arod's pancakes, a side of bacon, a bowl of fruit, and some of Alyssa's home fries.

Tobin's phone buzzes on the table while she's picking at Alyssa's home fries. "Who's that?" Arod asks, leaning over to look at the number on the screen.

"I dunno," Tobin says, sliding her finger across the screen and putting the phone to her ear. "Hello," she exclaims, reaching her fork across the table to stab another piece of potato. "Yeah, this is Tobin," she says, bringing the fork towards her mouth. She stops half way and puts the fork down, sitting up straighter with a serious look on her face. "Okay. Great, thanks...yeah, I'll come from UNC, I won't need plane tickets or anything. I'll drive...okay, sounds good...thanks again, bye," she finishes and hangs up. Everyone at the table is staring at her waiting for her to explain, but she just picks her fork back up and pops the piece of potato into her mouth.

"Tobin, who was that? What was that all about?" Cheney questions.

Tobin shrugs while chewing. "One of the coordinator guys from US soccer, I got called into the next camp. We have a friendly against Switzerland in Cary, North Carolina next week. He wanted to let me know and see if I needed plane tickets."

Kelley's mouth drops open. "Holy shit, Tobin, that's awesome!"

Tobin nods as her phone begins to buzz again. She picks it up with a smile. "Yo," she says casually. "Yupp, just got the call...really?...that'd be sweet...awesome, yeah I'm sure that everyone would be down...cool, let me know…see you soon, bye.” 

“Who was that?” Arod asks, slapping away Tobin’s hand as she reaches for her last piece of bacon.

“HAO,” Tobin replies. “She’s gunna talk to Anson and see if the whole team can come out to the friendly to watch. She’s gunna get a suite for the team if Anson’s okay with us skipping practice for the day.”

“HAO…like Heather O’Reilly?” Alyssa questions. “She calls you?”

Tobin shrugs, “yeah I’ve known her since I was like 10. We’re close, she’s the best. You guys think Anson will let everyone come to the game? HAO said the stadium is only like a half hour from here.”

“Of course he’ll let us go,” Cheney says. “When do you leave for camp? Do you think Arod or I will get called in?” 

Tobin drinks the last of her apple juice before answering. “I’ll drive over Wednesday morning, we have our first training Wednesday afternoon. And I dunno, maybe. This year a lot of new players are gunna get looks since we’re already in World Cup prep. I think that it will be mostly NWSL players this camp though. Probably more college players in September or October once Jill gets the chance to see them play in games.”

Cheney nods, “yeah, that makes sense.”

The group finishes up breakfast and settles their bills. They walk outside together into the warm Carolina sunshine. Tobin stretches and looks around at the group before they part to go to their separate cars. “You guys wanna go play a game of pick up?” 

Arod shakes her head at Tobin, “our one day off a week and you want to go play soccer?”

Tobin nods quickly, “yes! Come on, please?” 

Christen smiles at Tobin’s enthusiasm. “I’ll play.”

Kelley and Alyssa also are quick to agree.

Cheney sighs, “alright, I’ll text the team and see if anyone else wants to play. The grounds people aren’t gunna let us on Fetzer though. Ehringhaus field in an hour?"

Tobin nods again and looks over at her roommates. “Can I ride back with you guys? I needa change and get my cleats.”

“Sure, I parked over there,” Kelley gestures.

Tobin grins, “Cool…shotgun.”

Christen rolls her eyes and they say goodbyes to Lauren and Amy before heading to Kelley’s car. Once they are back in the room they all get dressed and get ready to walk over to the field. Tobin is ready first and Christen can hear her juggling a soccer ball in the living room, counting as it hits her feet. The rest of the roommates join Tobin in the living room one by one and when Julie finally joins them, Tobin hits the ball, counting 107, before flicking the ball high and catching it. She turns and smiles at her roommates. “Ready?”

“Yupp, lets go!” Kelley says. They walk out the door and to the field, still chatting about the party the night before, with Julie filling them in on the clean up efforts the football players made that morning. They are the first ones to the field and Tobin quickly pulls on socks and laces her cleats, dancing around the field excitedly with the ball on her feet like it’s tied there with a string. Christen observes how Tobin looks like she was made to have a soccer ball at her feet. She watches Tobin dribbling up and down the field, beating imaginary defenders, and she wishes she could look that free and happy and at ease on a soccer field. Christen knows that she puts too much pressure on herself and she has a complicated love hate relationship with soccer. Watching Tobin though, she sees what it could be like to have a pure love relationship with soccer.

More teammates show up and soon there are enough players to play a 7 v 7 scrimmage. Cheney brings pinnies and deems herself and Tobin as captains. They play a quick game of rock paper scissors to see who will wear pinnies, with Tobin losing, and again to see who gets first pick and who will start with the ball. Tobin wins this time and looks over her teammates. “Christen.”

Christen looks up, confused. “Yeah?”

Tobin laughs, “get a pinny, I picked you.”

Christen tries to hide her surprise as she picks up a pinny and walks over to stand next to Tobin. Their team ends up consisting of Tobin, Christen, Kelley, Alyssa, Kling, Lindsey, and Becky. Cheney’s team is her, Ashlyn, Ali, Whit, JJ, Syd, and Arod. Tobin gathers her team to give them a small pep talk before the game. “Alright guys, we definitely have more attacking minded players. Lets take advantage of that, okay? Becky and Kling on D, Becky, you hang back more because Syd has the speed to beat us if we get caught up too far. Kling use the wings to push up the field, but make sure you can get back if you need to. Kelley, right wing, Lindsey, center mid. I want you both to create opportunities to get the ball up to Christen. I’ll play on the left and Chris, you’ll be our striker. Lets pressure high right away and get some goals okay?”

They all nod and jog out to the field to take their positions. Tobin pulls the back of Christen’s pinny before she can jog to the center circle. Christen turns around to face Tobin with a questioning look on her face. Tobin smiles widely at her. “It’s just a game pretty Pressy. It’s gunna be fun, you’re gunna score some goals and we’re gunna win okay? Put a smile on your face and try to look like you’re having fun.”

Christen nods and takes a deep breath, smiling back at Tobin before jogging off to her spot on the field. She isn’t sure why she’s even nervous but she tries to clear her mind and focus on having fun. The scrimmage is hard fought and they play until they are all sweaty messes. The game ends 4-3 with Tobin’s team taking the win. Christen is happy with her performance, having scored two goals. Ashlyn, Ali, Becky, and Whit invite everyone back to their house for dinner. Becky and Whit offer to cook grilled chicken, pasta, and vegetables and they all agree to meet there in an hour. 

The five roommates walk back to the suite together, arguing over the order for showers. Christen convinces everyone that she needs to shower first because it takes her longest to do her hair. She has just finished getting ready to go when Kelley dances into the room in a towel. “Tobin’s in the shower now and then we can leave. Good game today CP! That second goal was fire. And Tobin didn’t say anything about last night, right? I told you she wouldn’t remember!”

“You’re just saying the second goal was fire because you assisted it,” Christen laughs. “And no, I think you were right about Tobin not remembering. She didn’t say anything.”

 

The next morning after training Anson gathers the team. “Alright ladies I have good news for you. Saturday we will be headed to Cary to watch our very own Tobin Heath play with the national team against Switzerland. Tar Heel’s alum Heather O’Reilly has very generously reserved us a luxury suite at WakeMed Soccer Park. The game is at 7:30 so I’m going to have a bus pick us up here at 5:30 so we can get there and watch warm ups. And lucky us that it’s an evening game because we will still be training Saturday morning and if you guys don’t give 100 percent I’ll cancel the bus and we’ll train during the game instead. Don’t make me do that because I’m a huge fan and I would hate to miss the game, okay?” The team erupts in a chorus of ‘okay’ and ‘yes’ and ‘got it coach’.

 

The week leading up to Saturday flies by. Tobin leaves early Wednesday morning and Christen finds herself missing the midfielder's presence on the field and off the field. The team practices hard on Saturday and go their separate ways, meeting up hours later to get on the bus to Cary. 

The suite is nice and has a great view of the field. The team watches the national teams warm up. Christen sits in between Cheney and JJ in the first row of seats in the suite. Cheney points out Tobin and Christen laughs at how she kinda looks like a little kid that was invited on to the field with the team. She bounces around, nutmegging teammates, who don't even react, and doing tricks with the ball. They watch as she jogs over to the sideline and grabs a water bottle, squirting teammates around her, who don't look nearly as amused as Tobin does.

"She's such a dork," Cheney laughs. 

Everyone is excited to see that Tobin gets the start. Christen is surprised at how easy it is to spot Tobin among her teammates. Her socks are uneven and are pushed so low that it doesn't even look like she's wearing shin guards, and her lanky frame makes her look tiny standing next to Abby Wambach and Hope Solo. Christen smiles, thinking that she still kind of looks like a kid that found her way onto the field with professionals.

The game is off to a quick start. Megan Rapinoe plays the ball up to Abby in the third minute. Abby passes it back to Rapinoe, who fires a shot from outside the 18. The ball takes a small deflection off a Swiss defender and the US is up 1-0. The game slows down a bit after this. It's a tough physical game and Christen winces internally every time Tobin ends up on the ground, which seems to be a lot. The US get 3 more chances in the first half, one being a volley by Tobin on a cross from HAO that has the whole UNC team on their feet, but the Swiss keeper prevents there from being any more goals in the half.

Around 10 minutes into the second half Tobin crosses a ball into the box and it hits off the hands of a defender, earning the US a PK that Carli Lloyd converts easily. The situation is repeated 10 minutes later on the US side and the Swiss convert, making it 2-1. In the 76th minute a botched clearance after a corner kick puts the ball at Tobin's feet right outside the 18 on the left side. She takes on two defenders, nutmegging the first and heading toward the end line. She stops the ball just before it goes out and waits for the second defender to challenge. When the defender steps to the ball, Tobin flicks it up in the air and runs around the defender, deftly bringing the ball back down. She chips the keeper and the suite erupts in cheers. Christen watches as Tobin pumps her fist once and runs to Abby who grabs her up off the ground, spinning her around in a hug. 

Tobin is subbed off in 80th minute and the game ends 4-1 after Abby draws and converts another penalty kick in the 87th minute. The team chatters excitedly about Tobin's goal and other big moments from the game. Cheney pulls Christen aside as they start to walk back to the bus. "Hey, Arod and I are gunna wait for Tobs. She's driving back to campus tonight and asked us to stay and drive so she doesn't have to. Wanna wait with us? Tobin said to ask you."

"She did?" Christen wonders.

Cheney nods, "mhm. I'll drive back to UNC and then you can drive from me and Arod's place back to your dorm. That way Tobin doesn't have to drive at all."

"Yeah I can do that. Should we tell Anson?"

"I'll tell him. You can go with Arod, she's gunna go wait for Tobs. I'll meet you down there."

Christen nods and follows Arod. They walk up to where there are some metal blockades set up. There's about 40 or 50 people gathered, waiting for the players to exit and sign autographs. Arod leads her to the end of the blockades, where a US soccer bus is parked. "If I saw some of the staff that I know I would ask if we could go wait outside the locker room but we might just have to wait here in parking lot," Arod explains, looking at her phone. "Tobin texted me saying she was getting in the shower and will be out in 15." 

Christen pulls out her own phone and sends a quick text to Kelley, letting her know why she wouldn't be on the bus. Cheney finds them a few minutes later. "Tobin texted me. She's hungry. We're gonna have to stop for food or else she'll whine the whole way back to UNC."

Arod rolls her eyes. "Such a baby. I hope she hurries up. I'm tired."

They watch as players start filtering out of the locker room, signing autographs and taking pictures with fans on their way towards the bus. Abby approaches smiling as she recognizes Arod and Cheney. "It's the new kids! Waiting on your third musketeer?" she exclaims loudly. "You guys will be in the next camp, don't worry."

Arod and Cheney say hi to Abby and Christen tries to calm her internal freak out about standing a foot away from one of her childhood role models. They introduce Christen, who shakes Abby's hand and prays she doesn't notice how sweaty it is. Abby talks to Arod and Cheney for another minute before getting on to the bus. 

Christen looks up and notices that Tobin is making her way towards them as well. She’s dressed in a red US soccer quarter zip and black US soccer sweatpants with multicolored nikes on her feet, black headphones around her neck, and her orange backpack on her back. Her hair is wet and pulled back into a bun and she's grinning widely while signing a fan's shirt. Christen's heart beats a little faster. _It’s just adrenaline from meeting Abby_ , she tells herself as she watches Tobin interact with the fans.

Finally, Tobin reaches them, a huge smile still on her face. "Hey. I just need to get my duffle bag off the bus then we can go," she says, gesturing behind her with her thumb. She turns and walks to the storage compartment of the bus and talks to a staff member standing there. He digs around and pulls out one of the US soccer duffle bags, handing it to Tobin. She gestures towards Christen, Cheney, and Arod and he comes over and opens the barricade, letting them through. They walk around the back of the bus towards Tobin's Jeep. She drops the duffle bag and digs around in her backpack, pulling out her lanyard with the keys on it and handing it to Cheney.

"Arod, sit up front and be the navigator. I'll sit in the back with Chris," Tobin directs, hoisting her duffle bag into the back. She walks around to the passenger side and slides into the back seat. Christen gets in to the other side of the backseat and Tobin smiles at her. "Thanks for coming and thanks for agreeing to drive back."

"It's no big deal," Christen says with a smile. "Your goal was pretty amazing so it made the trip worth."

"Glad I could entertain you," Tobin says with a yawn before directing her attention the front seat. "Cheney, I'm hungry," she complains. 

"Alright, what do you want?" Cheney asks, pulling out of the parking lot.

"A bagel." 

"Tobs, it's 10pm where am I gunna get you a bagel?" Cheney asks, looking at Tobin in the rear view mirror.

Tobin shrugs, leaning her seat back and closing her eyes. "I don't know, but that's what I want."

 "Maybe Starbucks?" Christen suggests. 

"Good call, I'll GPS the nearest one," Arod says from the passenger seat.

They find a drive thru Starbucks nearby and Cheney pulls up to order. "Plain Tobs?"

Tobin doesn't answer and Christen looks over to see Tobin fast asleep. Cheney and Arod twist in their seats to look at Tobin. "Should we wake her?" Arod asks.

"No, let her sleep. I'll just get her a plain bagel in case she wakes up," Cheney says softly. She orders Tobin's bagel and pays, handing the bag back to Christen to hold.

A half an hour later they're back on campus and parked outside of the building Cheney and Arod live in. Cheney turns in her seat and puts a hand on Tobin's knee, gently shaking it. "Tobin, wake up, we're back," she says softly.

 Tobin stirs and slowly opens her eyes, blinking at Cheney. "Cheney, I'm hungry," she mumbles through a yawn.

"We got you a bagel. Come move into the front seat and Christen will drive you guys back to your dorm."

Tobin nods and rubs her eyes before unclicking her seatbelt and getting out. Christen says goodbye to Cheney and Arod before climbing into the driver's seat. She watches Tobin hug Cheney and Arod and then climb back into the jeep. Christen hands her the Starbucks bag. "Here's your bagel."

Tobin smiles at her, "thanks pretty Pressy. Sorry I was so boring on the drive back. Abby was my roommate this camp and she snores so I didn't sleep well." 

"That's okay," Christen assures her, driving back towards their dorm. Once there Christen offers to carry Tobin's duffle bag up so she can finish eating her bagel, but Tobin refuses, telling her to leave it and saying she'll come down and get it tomorrow.

They walk up the stairs towards their suite while Tobin finishes the bagel. Once they get into the suite, Tobin pulls Christen in for a quick but tight hug. She’s warm and smells clean and slightly sweet, a smell that Christen can’t put her finger on but it’s intoxicating and makes her head swim. "Thanks again for coming to my game and driving us back to the dorm. See you tomorrow," she mumbles, pulling back from Christen and walking towards her room. Christen can’t even formulate the words to say goodnight back to Tobin as she tries to slow her racing heart and racing thoughts. 

Once in bed, Christen lies awake for what feels like hours. She thinks about the game and how badly she wants to be on the field with the national team one day. However, her last thoughts before she finally drifts off are not about the team or soccer, but are of a tan midfielder, sleeping right on the other side of the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter because there's too much snow to run or go to my local fields and play. Also because Arsenal won today. Also because I'm procrastinating getting my work done. 
> 
> Leave a comment if you wanna make me smile or if you wanna complain about the story or if you have anything to say in general lol


	7. We're so fucking lucky

The next couple of weeks of training pass by in a blur. The team spends basically all of their time together on and off the field and Christen finds herself getting closer with not only her roommates, but also with her other teammates. Tobin remains a frustrating combination of careless and carefree, but Christen does learn a lot more about her. She learns that Tobin comes and goes as she pleases at all hours of the day or night. Sometimes she’s there in the morning when they leave for training and other times she’s nowhere to be found. She’s rarely on time for training, unless she sleeps at Cheney and Arod’s or at the suite. On days where she sleeps somewhere else (Christen has no idea where else she goes, and isn’t about to ask) she’s always rolling up a few minutes late, without a care in the world, on a longboard with shades on. But when Anson makes her run for being late, she just smiles and shrugs and makes the sprints look easy. When Tobin is around, the suite becomes a revolving door of teammates and strangers hanging out with Tobin in the living room. Christen has no idea how in just a couple of weeks, with hardly any free time, Tobin has managed to become friends with not only the entire team, but also with other athletes and students who are around for the summer.

Tobin, Christen also learns, is a total soccer junky. If she's not playing soccer, she's watching soccer. She starts pick up games in the living room and in the locker room and in the hallway and in the parking lot, using trashcans or water bottles or doorways as goals, and convincing teammates and strangers to play so she can make them fall over with her ball skills. She’s always excited to play and she never gets sick of it and she never slows down.

By the second week of preseason, Tobin has the lighting system at Fetzer field figured out and she somehow talks half the team into waking up and meeting there at 2am for a spontaneous pick up game under the track lights. They all stumble to the field, tired from training and rubbing sleep out of their eyes, but Tobin’s eyes shine with excitement under the bright lights and her enthusiasm is contagious. “Can you believe we get to play here?” she comments, her voice laced with a childlike sense of wonder, as they pull on socks and cleats on the sideline. “The same field that players like HAO and Mia Hamm and Kristine Lilly played on. We’re so fucking lucky,” she says, as she pops up and begins dribbling up and down the field. They play for what feels like hours and there’s something magical about playing on this field, where legends have played, in the middle of the night, with no refs or coaches or spectators, and for the first time in a long time Christen just plays with pure passion, no pressure or nerves or disappointment.

The middle of the night pick up games become kind of a thing for the team. Every few days Tobin starts calling teammates and waking up her roommates to head to the field for a couple of hours. They always pay for it the next day when they’re exhausted and they all grumble about it and try to say no but somehow Tobin is able to charm them into showing up anyway. Christen isn’t sure how she does it, but another thing she learns about Tobin is that she tends to get what she wants.

 

The second to last weekend before classes start Anson gives them Thursday evening and the rest of the weekend off of training. Most players that live close enough head home for the weekend. Arod can't stop talking about the vacation she's taking with her boyfriend to a cabin they rented. Kelley is leaving Thursday afternoon to make the 5 and half hour drive home. She asks Christen if she wants to come but Christen decides to stay on campus and have a quiet weekend to herself. Alyssa is heading to an uncle’s house in South Carolina and JJ is going to spend the weekend staying with her boyfriend. Christen just assumes that Tobin will go home since it seems that that’s what most of the team is doing. She's kind of looking forward to having the suite to herself for the weekend.

After training on Thursday, Christen eats lunch with JJ before they go their separate ways for the weekend. Instead of going back to the dorm, Christen finds a quiet bench on campus and face times her parents. After hanging up with them, she face times each of her sisters. It's already almost dinner time by the time she hangs up. She grabs dinner by herself at the dining hall and walks back to the suite.

When she gets inside the first thing she notices is the temperature. It feels like someone turned the air conditioner off and when she turns to the small thermostat next to the door, she sees that someone did. She quickly clicks it back on and turns to go to her room. It's then that she notices someone on the couch. At first she panics and she can't tell who it is in the dim lighting because they are wrapped in a comforter. However she calms down a little when she sees that it's just Tobin. "Tobin? What are you doing? It's so hot in here, how are you under a blanket?" she questions as she walks closer. Tobin looks up at her and her face is paler than Christen has ever seen. She has dark circles under her eyes, which seem duller than normal, and she looks like she's shaking. "Tobin? Are you okay?"

Tobin shakes her head a tiny bit. "Can you call Cheney?" she rasps out. "I don't feel good."

Christen nods and picks up her phone.

"Hey Chris, what's up?" Cheney answers on the second ring.

"Hi. I just got back to the room and Tobin is sick. She asked me to call you," Christen explains.

"She's sick? Sick how?" Cheney questions, concern evident in her voice.

"I don't know, she's just laying on the couch wrapped in a blanket. She looks really pale."

"Ugh, alright. I'm actually at CVS now buying mascara so I'll just pick some things up. But Chris I have dinner with Jrue's parents tonight so I can only stop by for like an hour. Are you gunna be around?"

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere," Christen answers, watching Tobin shiver on the couch, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Okay good. Do you think you'd be able to stay with Tobin? If not I can cancel dinner."

"Don't cancel dinner, I'm sure it will be fine," Christen assures her.

"Alright, I'll be there in like 10 minutes," Cheney says before hanging up.

Christen goes the bathroom then heads to her room to plug in her phone. She then goes back into the living room and sits on the edge of the chair, leaning towards Tobin on the couch. "Cheney's on her way," she says softly. "Do you want something to drink or anything?"

"I just want Cheney," Tobin whispers.

"Okay, she'll be here soon," Christen reassures her. She goes in to the kitchen and busies herself with emptying the dishwasher while they wait for Cheney, unsure of what else she could do to help Tobin.

Cheney bursts in 10 minutes later with CVS bags in her hands. She puts them down on the kitchen counter and heads over to Tobin's side. She brushes hair out of her face tenderly and puts her hand against Tobin's forehead. "Hey babe. What's going on? You're burning up," she says softly.

"Cheney, I'm gunna be sick," Tobin croaks out. 

"Alright, come on," Cheney says, pulling the blankets back and helping Tobin up and to the bathroom. Christen awkwardly tries to make herself busy in the kitchen before Cheney calls to her. "Hey Chris? Can you bring me the CVS bag on the counter?"

Christen grabs the bag and brings it to the bathroom. Tobin sits on the counter with a toothbrush dangling from her mouth and Cheney is wetting a washcloth in the sink. "Thanks, can you get out the Tylenol?"

"I have Tylenol you know. You didn't have to buy any," Christen says while looking through the bag.

"Tobin doesn't do pills," Cheney says, wiping Tobin's face with the washcloth and plucking the toothbrush from her mouth. She hands her a cup of water to rinse.

Tobin sits back up with water dripping down her chin. "I don't need medicine," she says quietly.

"Yeah, you do Tobin. You have a fever. You're sick, the Tylenol will help. I've gotta leave in like 20 minutes so take the Tylenol and I'll get you set up on the couch okay?" Lauren says, while taking the bottle of liquid Tylenol from Christen's hand.

Tobin's eyes get wide. "You're leaving?" she whines. "Why aren't you staying with me?"

Cheney brushes Tobin's hair behind her ear and rests her hand on her cheek. "I can't hon. I have dinner with Jrue's parents tonight. But don't worry okay? I'll come back and check on you tomorrow morning. You'll be okay, Christen will take care of you."

Tobin glances over at Christen, who feels like she's intruding on something private and is trying to think of an excuse to walk away. She looks up and meets Tobin's eyes for a moment. Tobin's eyes are wide and wild looking and she has a panicked look on her face. She quickly turns back to Lauren. "I don't want her. I want you to stay," she whispers and Christen is surprised to hear that she sounds on the verge of tears.

Cheney sighs while pouring Tylenol into the measuring cup. "Chris, can you give us a minute?" she asks. 

Christen nods and walks into her room, trying to keep herself busy. About 10 minutes later there's a knock on her bedroom door. She opens it and Lauren slips in, closing the door behind her. She takes a deep breath and turns to Christen. "Look, I've known Tobin since our first youth camp with u15s. I was 14 and she was the baby of the team, barely 12 years old. We've been best friends ever since and we've always been there for each other for the good and bad. Tobin has been through a lot and she's...fragile. She doesn't trust easily and she doesn't just let people in. Tobs likes you, don't worry, she didn't mean that about not wanting you here. You just have to be patient with her, okay?"

Christen nods, confused as to why Cheney is telling her all this. "It's not a big deal Lauren, I get why she would want you here, not me. You're her best friend and I'm just her roommate."

Cheney gives Christen a knowing look. "You're not just her roommate Chris," she says simply. She continues speaking before Christen can question what she means by that. "Anyway, she took Tylenol and I set her up on the couch with a soccer game. There's soup, crackers, Tylenol, and Gatorade in the CVS bag. Just call me or text me if you need anything or if you want me to come back okay? Otherwise I’ll be back tomorrow morning. I’m going away with Jrue and his parents for the weekend and we’re leaving tomorrow afternoon so hopefully Tobs is better by then.”

Christen laughs, “We’ll be fine Lauren! Go get ready for your dinner. Let me know how it goes!”

Cheney nods, opening Christen’s door. “I owe you one Press, thanks for this!” she says, walking out of the room and over to where Tobin lays on the couch. “Alright Tobs, I’m gunna go. Christen is here and I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Tobin nods and reaches a hand towards Cheney. Cheney smiles and leans down to give Tobin a hug, kissing her head and walking over the kitchen counter to grab her bag. “Bye Chris, thanks again! I’ll text you,” she calls while heading out the door.

Christen heads into the living room and sits in the chair, looking at Tobin and then to the TV where a Premier League match is playing. “Arsenal or Everton?” she asks Tobin, noting the two teams playing.

“Arsenal,” Tobin whispers, not looking away from the TV. “You?”

Christen smiles, “neither, I’m a Chelsea fan if I’m watching Premier League. My favorite team to watch is Real Madrid though.”

Tobin turns her head and gapes at her. “That’s terrible,” she says simply, turning back to the TV and pulling her comforter up tighter around her chin.

Christen laughs, keeping her eyes on Tobin’s pale face. “Did you eat today? Want me to make the soup Cheney brought? You should probably drink something too. Gatorade or water?”

Tobin doesn’t look up from the TV and shakes her head a tiny bit. “I had yogurt and an apple before practice.”

Christen looks at her phone then back to Tobin, “Tobin, that was like 12 hours ago! Did you drink anything?”

Tobin shrugs. “Some water at practice. I’m not thirsty,” she says in a small voice.

Christen gets up from her spot in the chair and heads to the kitchen. “You’re probably super dehydrated then. That’s only gonna make you feel worse,” she calls over her shoulder, as she pulls a bottle of Gatorade from the CVS bag. She takes out the small box of soup mix and sets it on the counter then takes out a pot, fills it with water, and sets it on the stove to boil. She walks back into the living room and stops in front of Tobin with the Gatorade bottle. She holds it out to Tobin. “Here, drink this.”

Tobin’s eyes shift from the TV to the Gatorade to Christen and back to the TV. She sighs and whispers, “I don’t wanna.”

Christen squats down so she’s eye level with Tobin. “Tobin, you’re not gunna get better if you don’t eat or drink. Does your throat hurt? Your stomach?”

Tobin shakes her head. “No. I’m just tired. I just don’t feel good.”

“Well, drinking something is going to help you feel a little better. Would you prefer water?”

Tobin sighs again. “No. Gatorade is fine.” She reaches a shaky hand out from under her blanket and takes the bottle from Christen. Christen gives Tobin a small smile and stands back up, going back in the kitchen to make the soup.

Once the soup is done she ladles some into a bowl and places it on the kitchen counter. “Tobin, do you wanna come try to eat a little? It’s chicken noodle.” 

Tobin slowly lifts herself off the couch and trudges to the kitchen, sitting down on the stool and resting her head in her hand. She picks up the spoon and slowly stirs the soup. Christen sits in the stool across from her and watches as she eats a few spoonful’s of the soup. Tobin glances up at her and Christen gives her a sympathetic smile. “Thanks for staying with me. Sorry if I ruined your plans or something,” Tobin mumbles, looking down at the soup.

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t have any plans. It’s too far to go home for the weekend so I was just gunna hang out here. How come you didn’t go home? How far is it?” 

Tobin shrugs and doesn’t look up from the soup. “I don’t know. Pretty far I guess.”

Christen nods, “It kinda sucks living so far. It’s gunna be weird not having my parents or sisters at a lot of games this season. I don’t think my dad has ever missed a game before. They’re gunna try to come for a few and they’ll be there when we go to LA in September, but it’s still gunna be weird. I bet your parents are used to that though since you play all over with the national team. Do they usually try to travel to the games?” 

Tobin stirs the spoon around the soup and doesn’t answer for a few seconds. “No,” she says simply, not meeting Christen’s eye.

Christen gets the message that this isn’t something that Tobin wants to talk about and doesn’t push her. She watches Tobin eat soup in silence for another few moments before speaking up again. “Are you feeling any better?”

Tobin looks up at her and attempts a smile, which looks more like a grimace. “A little,” she says unconvincingly before pushing the barely touched bowl of soup away.

Christen grabs it and starts cleaning up. “Do you wanna watch a movie? You can pick which one if you want,” she calls over her shoulder.

She hears Tobin mutter an okay. After cleaning up the kitchen, she changes into a comfortable pair of shorts and a tank top before rejoining Tobin in the living room. She sees that Tobin already has a movie starting as she sits down in the chair. “What’d you pick?”

“Harry Potter,” she says, snuggling back under her comforter.

Christen is a little surprised at the choice. She didn’t peg Tobin as a big Harry Potter fan but she settles in to the chair and watches it. When the credits roll, Christen looks over and sees that Tobin is fast asleep. She turns off the movie before picking up the half full Gatorade bottle and putting it in the fridge. She quickly answers a text from Cheney telling her that everything is okay and Tobin is sleeping. She then gets herself ready for bed and goes back to the living room.

Christen crouches down in front of Tobin and gently lays a hand on her shoulder to wake her. Even through the thick down comforter she can feel the heat coming off of Tobin’s body. She puts the back of her hand to Tobin’s forehead and can tell that she has a high fever. She checks the time and sees that she can give Tobin more Tylenol so she heads to the bathroom to read the box and measure it out. She walks back into the living room and places the small measuring cup on the coffee table, crouching down in front of Tobin once again. She hesitates on reaching her hand out again and instead takes a moment to study Tobin’s face.

Her slightly chapped lips are parted just a bit and her face looks peaceful in sleep. Christen admires the way her long dark eyelashes splay across her cheeks. However, there are dark circles under her eyes and her usually tan skin appears pale apart from her cheeks, which are rosy with fever. Without thinking Christen reaches out, lightly running a finger along Tobin’s prominent jawline. She gently sweeps a few locks of hair away from Tobin’s face before placing her hand on Tobin’s shoulder.

“Tobin,” she whispers, while jostling her shoulder a bit. “Wake up.”

Tobin stirs before her eyes fly open and look around the room wildly. “Hey, hey, its okay Tobin, it’s just me,” she soothes keeping her hand on Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin’s eyes land on Christen and she seems to relax a bit.

She blinks a few times, still looking at Christen’s face. “My head hurts,” she rasps in a small voice. 

“Here, take this. It’ll help with the headache and to bring your fever down,” Christen says, reaching out to grab the cup of Tylenol. Tobin struggles with her comforter, trying to sit up and Christen helps her, putting her arm behind Tobin’s neck to support her as she sits up. She can feel Tobin shivering and seeing how much her hand shakes as she reaches for the measuring cup, Christen shakes her head. “It’s okay, I got it,” she says, bringing the cup to Tobin’s lips for her. Tobin swallows the medicine, wincing a bit as she does.

Christen puts the measuring cup on the coffee table and gathers up Tobin’s comforter. “Come on, let’s get you to bed,” she says.

Tobin shakily gets off the couch and Christen walks behind her as she wobbles towards her room. She detours into the bathroom first and Christen goes ahead into Tobin’s room, flicking on the light as she enters. She kicks cleats, sneakers, and some clothes out of the way, making a path to her bed. She picks up Tobin’s bible, a surf magazine, headphones, and a bottle of water off of Tobin’s bed and sets them on her dresser. Tobin comes in a few minutes later and climbs into her bed. Christen drapes the comforter over her and pats her shoulder. “Okay Tobin, I’ll be right next door if you need me. Goodnight.”

As Christen begins to turn away and pull her hand back, Tobin reaches hers out and grabs it. Christen turns back and sees Tobin peering at her with a pleading look on her face. “Stay?” she whispers, still holding onto Christen’s hand. “Please?” she adds in a near whine.

Christen’s eyes go wide and she takes a moment to process before nodding hesitantly. “Okay,” she whispers back. “I’ll stay. Move over.”

Tobin scoots backwards and Christen gently takes her hand back to go turn off the light. She returns to Tobin’s bedside by the light filtering in from the hallway, through the open bedroom door. Tobin is laying on her side facing her and lifts the corner of the comforter for Christen to slide underneath. Christen gingerly climbs into Tobin’s bed and lays flat on her back, stiffly. Tobin sighs and scoots closer to Christen, until they’re almost touching. Christen lays there frozen, unsure of if she should do or say anything. Tobin breaks the silence first. “Thanks for taking care of me tonight,” she whispers, almost inaudibly. “Usually it’s Cheney’s job.”

Christen’s brow furrows at the statement. “Do you get sick a lot?" 

“No, hardly ever actually. I honestly can't remember the last time.”

Christen can feel Tobin shivering and she turns her head to look at her, worried. “Do you think you should go to the doctor tomorrow? And do you want me to call someone for you?”

“Call someone?” Tobin questions. “Why?”

“To let them know you’re sick.” Christen turns onto her side to face Tobin, her heart rate speeding up when she realizes how close they are.

“I don’t have anyone for you to call,” Tobin whispers, her eyes half closed. 

“What about your parents?”

Tobin frowns and shuts her eyes. “It's okay, you don’t need to call anyone,” she says in a small, shaky voice.

“Okay. We should see how you feel tomorrow and maybe go to campus health services or a walk in clinic or something though,” Christen says softly. Tobin nods slightly in response, her eyes fluttering open to look at Christen before closing again. 

Christen rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling, wondering why Tobin doesn’t want her to call her parents. She doesn’t want to push the issue because she can see it makes Tobin uncomfortable. Christen listens to Tobin’s breathing even out and thinks she must have fallen asleep when she feels Tobin shift beside her. Tobin scoots closer to Christen and wiggles her way between Christen’s arm and body. She rests her head on Christen’s shoulder and puts one hand on Christen’s stomach, gripping on to her tank top. Christen freezes, feeling Tobin’s slim body shiver against her. She lays like that for what seems like hours, her hand lightly resting Tobin’s back, too nervous to move.

Tobin’s shivering ceases and her body relaxes against Christen, who can tell she has fallen asleep. Christen is trying to remain calm, way too much of Tobin’s hot skin pressed against her for her to be comfortable. She takes a few deep breaths and tries to settle her racing thoughts. After a few minutes she surprises herself by beginning to relax. She absentmindedly strokes her free hand lightly up Tobin’s arm. As she begins to drift asleep herself, it dawns on her that she’s okay with this. In fact, Tobin seems to fit against her perfectly. She wonders what this means as she falls into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Allie Long for blessing us with today's takeover, even though there was no CP :( 
> 
> Also, I was highly distracted while proofreading because my dog was snoring and it was super cute. So please ignore any mistakes lol


	8. Wanna go play some footy?

Christen wakes up at some point in the middle of the night, confused and disoriented. She remembers where she is and realizes that Tobin is no longer snuggled against her. She opens her eyes and sits up, seeing that Tobin is now on her back next to her, no longer wearing the sweatshirt she went to bed in, instead in just a sports bra with her shorts. The blankets are flung off of her and her hair is damp with sweat. Christen assumes that her fever must have broken at some point in the night. She gingerly reaches a hand out, laying it on Tobin’s forehead. It’s sweaty, but no longer hot with fever. Tobin stirs under her hand, her eyes fluttering open. Christen pulls her hand back, keeping her eyes on Tobin.

Tobin leans up on her elbows, blinking at Christen and breaking into a small smile. “Hi,” she whispers in a low, sleepy voice that makes Christen’s heart thud in her chest. 

“Hi,” Christen whispers back. “I think your fever broke. How do you feel?”

Tobin frowns a little bit and sits up further, looking down at herself, before moving her eyes back to Christen. “Okay, I think,” she pauses before continuing. “Actually, I’m really hungry. And thirsty. And I need a shower,” she says with a small smile.

Christen nods, “do you want me to heat up the rest of the soup for you while you shower? I could make you a grilled cheese too if you want.”

Tobin’s smile grows and her eyes widen. “Really? That’d be awesome.”

Christen smiles back at Tobin. “Yeah, I’m actually kinda hungry too,” she says, sliding out of Tobin’s bed. She heads into the kitchen and takes out the soup. She hears the shower start as she’s putting a frying pan on the stove.

A few minutes later she is cutting a grilled cheese in half for Tobin while hers is cooking on the stove. Tobin walks in, still looking a bit pale, but a lot better than before. She has on blue national team shorts with a number 17 on one leg and a long sleeve gray t shirt, her wet hair darkening one shoulder.

She plops down at the counter and smiles as Christen slides her a bowl full of soup and a grilled cheese. Christen opens the fridge and takes out the bottle of Gatorade that Tobin had left from earlier and puts it on the counter in front of her. “Thanks pretty Pressy, you’re the best,” Tobin says with a grin.

Christen’s cheeks heat up and she turns back to the stove, putting her own grilled cheese on a plate and grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. She sits down across from Tobin and laughs when she glances over at the time on the microwave. “I can’t believe we’re awake at three in the morning, eating grilled cheese.”

Tobin shrugs as she chews. “We can sleep in tomorrow. We have the whole place to ourselves. No KO bouncing off the walls to wake us up.”

Christen smiles thinking of her freckled roommate. “You know that when we found out you were going to be our roommate Kelley totally freaked out. She was so excited,” she says before taking a bite of her grilled cheese.

Tobin raises her eyebrows at Christen. “And you weren’t? You didn’t freak out?”

Christen laughs, “I mean I kinda freaked out, but not in a good way. I was kinda mad.”

“Why? Not a fan?” Tobin questions.

“Tobin, I think everyone who knows who you are is a fan. I was just anxious about the whole thing. I didn’t really know what to think.”

“Well, what do you think now?” Tobin questions.

Christen smiles at her plate, not wanting to meet Tobin’s eye. “Now I think I’m happy they switched you into our room.”

"I'm happy they switched me into your room too, Chris. Even though you're a Chelsea and Real Madrid fan. I guess the fact that you make a killer grilled cheese makes up for it," Tobin teases.

Christen rolls her eyes and picks up her plate, rinsing it and putting it in the dishwasher. She turns and grabs Tobin's plate and bowl as well, while Tobin chugs down the rest of her Gatorade.

After cleaning up the kitchen, going to the bathroom, and brushing her teeth, Christen is ready to go back to bed. She leaves Tobin standing at one of the bathroom sinks, brushing her teeth, and walks into her and Kelley's room. She is about to get in to bed when she realizes that she left her phone in Tobin's room. She walks out of her room and down the hall, seeing that Tobin is no longer in the bathroom, but in her room with the door cracked. Christen gently knocks on the partially open door. She hears Tobin telling her to come in and pushes the door open just as Tobin is climbing into bed.

"I think I left my phone in here," Christen says, walking closer to Tobin's bed. Tobin feels around on the bed and finds the phone. She holds it out to Christen but when Christen reaches her hand out to take it, Tobin doesn't let go. Christen looks at Tobin, a questioning look in her eyes. 

"Chris, maybe you can just stay in here tonight? I mean you don't have to, but it’s just the two of us here and it was kinda nice not being alone," Tobin says, her eyes wide and shining in a way that Christen can’t look into them for long before looking down, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Christen hesitates as Tobin releases her grip on the phone and continues studying her face, waiting for her answer. Christen thinks she should probably find a reason to say no and go back to her own bed, but when she looks back up and meets Tobin’s gaze, she finds herself unable to turn her down. "Yeah I can stay. I mean technically this is two beds anyway," Christen says, gesturing towards Tobin's bed.

Tobin grins and nods as she lies down, getting comfortable. Christen turns off the light and shuts the door before climbing back into bed next to Tobin. This time Tobin doesn't make any moves to be closer to her and Christen is confused to find herself missing the contact and warmth of Tobin's body pressed up against hers. However, she is exhausted and surprises herself yet again by falling asleep before her mind can dwell on it. 

Christen wakes up to soft sunlight filtering through the blinds, feeling completely refreshed. She quickly realizes that her and Tobin's positions have changed at some point in the night. She is still laying flat on her back but closer to the center of the bed. All of the blankets are kicked off onto the floor and Tobin is next to her asleep on her stomach, her arm draped across Christen's midsection and one leg tangled between Christen’s. She turns her head in Tobin's direction and realizes that Tobin's head is resting on the same pillow as her head and her face is tilted towards her. She is sound asleep, a wisp of hair across her face, lips pouty and slightly parted. Before she even really thinks about it, Christen reaches out and brushes the hair out of Tobin’s face. _God she’s beautiful_. The thought comes out of nowhere and her mind begins to reel at their close proximity.

She can’t quiet her anxious thoughts and she is suddenly cognizant of every inch of skin that Tobin is touching. She starts to worry that Tobin will be able to hear or feel her racing heart and will wake up. She decides to slip out before Tobin wakes up, not sure if she can handle facing her while tangled together like this. She slowly starts to move, trying to figure out the best way to get Tobin’s leg and arm off of her, without waking her. She is about to lift Tobin’s arm when she stirs, letting out a small whine and tightening her grip around Christen, pulling her body closer. Christen freezes and looks to Tobin’s face waiting to see if she’ll wake up.

Tobin’s eyes begin to flutter open and in a panic Christen decides to pretend that she’s still sleeping. She quickly shuts her eyes as Tobin opens hers, not seeing her wide smile when her eyes land on Christen’s face. She slowly rolls to her back, untangling herself from Christen. Christen focuses on keeping her breathing slow and continuing to seem asleep. She risks peeking through one barely opened eyelid as Tobin sits up and stretches, letting out a small groan. She watches through her lashes as Tobin runs her eyes over Christen’s body, chewing her bottom lip. Christen feels naked under Tobin’s eyes, all too aware of the small shorts and tank top that she is wearing. It takes everything she has to keep her breathing calm as Tobin runs her eyes over her once more, taking a deep breath before turning and climbing out of bed. She picks up the blankets off the floor and gently drapes one over Christen before leaving the room. 

As soon as the door clicks shut, Christen bolts upright in bed and starts feeling around for her phone. She's panicking and her first thought is to text Kelley. She finds her phone under the pillow and realizes she already has 3 texts from Cheney.

 

**Cheney** : How's Tobs? Is she awake yet? I'm gunna grab bagels and coffee, what kind of bagel do you like?

**Cheney** : I guess you guys are still asleep! I'll be there in 5

**Cheney** : Chris where are you? Just got to the suite and you're not here? Tobin is still asleep I think so I'm just gunna hang out til she wakes up

 

Christen’s eyes widen as they skim over the messages. The last text was from 20 minutes ago so Cheney must have shown up and seen that her bedroom door was open, and her bed was unoccupied, and assumed she wasn't here. Christen chews her bottom lip, trying and failing to think of an excuse for why she was sleeping in Tobin's bed. She finally just gives up and hopes that Cheney won’t mention it.

She climbs out of bed, straightening out her clothes and running a hand through her hair before opening the door and walking down the hall. She finds Tobin and Cheney on the couch. Cheney is sitting up and Tobin is curled up with her head in Cheney's lap. Christen walks in and settles into the chair, glancing over at the duo on the couch. Cheney is playing with Tobin's hair and Tobin is sleepily watching a soccer game on TV. Cheney smiles at Christen. "Morning, Christen. There's coffee on the counter. Did you sleep well? Or did this one keep you up all night?"

"We did have soup and grilled cheese in the middle of the night after her fever broke, but other than that I slept okay," Christen answers, hoping that Cheney is satisfied with asking how she slept and doesn't bring up where she slept.

Cheney nods, "her fevers back I think, but it feels like it's pretty low right now. I gave her Tylenol so we'll just see how the day goes. I can hang out for a while but then I'm going with Jrue and his parents to Winston-Salem and won't be around until Sunday. I hate to ask you to take care of her for the whole weekend but I'd also hate to cancel on this trip since I'm just getting to know Jrue's parents."

"I'm right here, you know. And I seriously don't need a babysitter. I can take care of myself," Tobin pipes up, her voice raspy and sleepy but laced with annoyance.

Cheney rolls her eyes and shakes her head, mouthing 'no, she can't' in Christen's direction.

Tobin turns her head to look at Cheney with narrowed eyes. "Chens, be nice to me. I'm sick," she says, with a hint of a whine. She turns her head back and tilts it, looking at Christen. "Chris, seriously, you don't need to babysit me. I'm okay, I already feel a little better than yesterday. You can do whatever you want all weekend."

Christen shakes her head and smiles at Tobin. "Honestly, I have no plans so I don't mind hanging out and keeping you company."

"Cool," Tobin grins at her, turning her attention back to the TV. Cheney mouths a 'thank you' over Tobin's head and Christen just smiles at her. In all honesty, Christen is finding herself kinda excited at the prospect of spending the weekend with Tobin. She's nervous about it, it isn’t the quiet and relaxing weekend she had planned for, and nothing with Tobin is anything that Christen could plan for, but looking over at the midfielder, who's watching the soccer game with her eyes half closed, she finds that she doesn't really mind that her weekend plans have changed.

Christen heads into the kitchen, grabbing the coffee that Lauren had brought her and a bagel. She eats the bagel and drinks the coffee in the living room, watching soccer with Lauren and Tobin. When she’s done, she looks over and sees that Tobin is fast asleep, Lauren still gently playing with her hair. "Hey Cheney, I'm gunna go for a quick run while you're still here with Tobin, okay? I'll be back in like 20 minutes," she says quietly, not wanting to disturb Tobin. Cheney nods and Christen goes and gets dressed. 

She returns from her 3 mile run and finds Tobin and Cheney right where she left them. She showers and takes her time with her hair before getting dressed. When she walks back out of her room, Cheney is in the kitchen putting the left over bagels into a ziplock bag. She looks up when Christen walks in. "So," she starts, with a serious look on her face. "Wanna tell me why your bed was empty when I got here?"

Christen feels her cheeks heat up and quickly glances to the living room where Tobin is still on the couch, the second half of the soccer game on TV. Cheney follows Christen's eyes. "Don't worry, she's still sleeping. Did you sleep in her bed with her? You did just sleep, right?" Cheney asks, still looking at Christen seriously.

"Yes," Christen answers almost too quickly and forcibly, resulting in an eyebrow raise from Cheney. "Her fever was really high last night and she asked me to stay with her. That's it. I was just trying to be nice." Christen hates how defensive she sounds.

Cheney narrows her eyes. "Okay, but you said you guys had grilled cheese in the middle of the night so she must have been feeling at least a little better. And you still slept in bed with her?"

Christen opens the fridge, needing an excuse to avoid Cheney's stare. "She just asked me to stay, I don't know. Her bed is technically two beds and I think she just didn't feel good and didn't want to be alone and it wasn't a big deal. We just slept," Christen quickly rambles on, telling the inside of the fridge instead of Cheney, while looking intently at the label of a yogurt cup.

"Press, relax. Tobin is like a koala when she's tired or sick, I'm just teasing you," Cheney giggles. Christen lets out a breath and puts the yogurt back, pulling out a bottle of water instead. "But usually she just clings to me or Arod, so I'm kinda surprised. She's usually pretty...I don't know, I don't wanna say shy because Lord knows Tobin will talk to literally anyone, but she's slow to trust or really open up. Easy to be friends with and to like but hard to be very close with or to love. Know what I mean?" 

Christen nods, pretending that she does in fact know what Cheney means. She knows that with her charm and easy going nature and ever present smile, Tobin is very easy to like, but she wonders what Cheney could mean when she says that Tobin is hard to love.

Cheney hangs out for a while longer, toasting a bagel for Tobin when she wakes up 'starving'. They watch another premier league match with Tobin offering commentary on every other play, often mumbling excitedly through mouthfuls of bagel. Christen is impressed with how she sees the game and how knowledgeable she is about the league, teams, and players. Cheney leaves after a while, hugging Christen before stooping down to hug Tobin and give her a kiss on the top of her head. 

Christen and Tobin watch the rest of the game before Tobin gets up. "I'm gunna take a shower. Let’s do something when I get out. I'm bored," she states while stretching her arms out and yawning.

"Like what?" Christen asks skeptically.

"I dunno. Wanna go play some footy?" Tobin grins down at Christen. 

Christen looks up at Tobin through narrowed eyes. "No Tobin, you're sick. You should rest."

"Christen," Tobin whines, drawing out Christens name. "I'm mostly better. I've been resting for like 24 hours. Now I'm bored of it," she looks at Christen with puppy dog eyes until Christen relents.

"Alright, fine. We can do something. But no soccer. If you let me borrow your jeep you can come food shopping with me instead," Christen offers.

Tobin shrugs, "can we get pancake mix? And can you make me pancakes tomorrow?"

Christen laughs, "yeah, sure. Go shower and I'll make a list."

Tobin grins before heading down the hallway to shower. Christen already has a list, but she double checks it and adds pancake mix to the bottom. She's done before Tobin even has the water running in the bathroom.

Christen sits on one of the stools at the kitchen counter and clicks into the Instagram app on her phone. She types tobinheath into the search bar, clicking on Tobin's profile. Tobin has over 200k followers but is only following 80 people (and Christen is unexpectedly disappointed to see that she is not one of them). She only has 103 pictures so it doesn't take Christen long to scroll to the bottom. She begins looking through Tobin's pictures from oldest to newest. _I'm just curious_ , she tells herself.

Most of the early pictures are of scenery or maps and there are a few of bible verses. Christen continues to scroll, clicking into a picture of a younger looking Tobin in shades, a hoodie, and USA shorts, holding a rope and hanging off a cliff, an ocean in the background and a grin on her face. There's a picture of Cheney, Arod, and Tobin sitting on some steps, their backs to the camera. Christen smiles at a goofy picture of Tobin with a cast on her arm and a bag over it. There's another picture of Cheney and Tobin on a train, Tobin looking effortlessly cool as usual, a big smile on her face and shades perched on her head. There’s a handful of pictures from the Olympics in Rio and Christen double taps one of Tobin, with the gold medal around her neck, her head thrown back and her arms out wide, her eyes closed and a huge smile on her face.

Christen scrolls through some more scenery pictures, clicking into the next one of people and sees from the date that it's from last year when Tobin was at UCLA. It's a picture of Tobin and two other girls, a beach sunset in the background, huge smiles on all of their faces. Christen recognizes one as Allie, but doesn't recognize the other. The next picture is of the three of them riding bicycles, taken over Tobin's shoulder. Christen continues to scroll, curious about Tobin's time at UCLA. There’s a few pictures of scenery or promoting US friendlies but most are of Tobin and Allie and the other brunette, or of just Tobin and Allie, or just Tobin and the other girl. There's a picture of the 3 of them, Tobin in the middle looking adorable and squinting at the camera, the other two leaning in and making funny faces. There's a picture of them in beanies, smiling brightly at the camera. There's one last picture of Tobin and the brunette with their arms around each other in dirty UCLA uniforms, Allie standing behind them with her arms around them both. The caption reads 'gunna miss my amigas but I know I'll see them soon. Looking forward to what's ahead'. The most recent picture posted is of Tobin in a UNC t shirt with a statement about her transfer as the caption.

Christen’s curiosity gets the better of her and she clicks into the pretty brunette's profile, reading the name, Alex Morgan. There's more pictures of her and Tobin, her and Allie, and the three of them on her profile. Christen scrolls through, looking at all of them. She is so caught up in her Instagram stalking that she doesn’t notice that the shower is no longer running. 

She finishes looking through Alex's profile for pictures of Tobin and clicks into Allie's profile next. She clicks into a picture of Tobin and Allie laying on a soccer field in UCLA warm ups, Allie's arms wrapped around Tobin, when she hears Tobin laugh. She drops her phone onto the counter and whips around to see Tobin inches away from her face, having been looking over her shoulder. "Whatcha looking at there, pretty Pressy?" she asks, a smirk on her face.

Christen's face is hot and tries to think on her feet, coming up with nothing. She decides to just try for honesty and hope Tobin doesn't think she's some sort of creeper. "Uh, I was kinda Instagram stalking," she admits.

Tobin's nose wrinkles. "You were Instagram stalking Allie?" she asks with a laugh.

Christen shrugs. "Well, really I was on Instagram and I saw that you don't even follow me and then I went to your profile and I just clicked onto Allie's. I don't know, I was bored," she says, trying to make it seem like no big deal.

Tobin laughs and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She goes to Instagram and finds Christen's profile and clicks follow, before doing the same for their other 3 roommates. "There. Feel better?"

Christen nods and gets up from her chair, picking up her phone and grocery list, before walking to her room to put on shoes and grab her wallet. "You ready to go?" she calls over her shoulder.

"Yup," Tobin calls back, still in the kitchen.

Christen walks into the kitchen and holds out her hand, silently asking for Tobin's car keys. Tobin looks at Christen's hand for a moment before putting her own hand into it, swinging their hands between them. Christen starts laughing and pulls her hand back. "Tobin, I was asking for your car keys," she gets out between giggles.

"Oh. I thought you wanted to hold hands," Tobin laughs before going down the hallway to her room, presumably to get her keys. She comes back a minute later with a flip flops on, a snapback on over her damp hair and shades hanging from the neck of her T-shirt. She holds the lanyard out to Christen and grins at her before following her out the door.

Christen has barely started the car when Tobin looks over at her, smirking. "So. See anything good on Instagram?"

Christen glances at Tobin before pulling out of the parking spot. "You don't post much," she remarks. "UCLA looked fun though."

Tobin nods, "yeah, it was fun. But I think UNC is fun so far too. Plus, I have Cheney and Arod to keep me in line with my classes now. I didn't do so good with my grades at UCLA."

"How come?" Christen asks. 

Tobin shrugs, rolling her window down a crack. "I dunno, too many distractions I guess. I skipped a lot of classes to hang out or surf or sleep or play soccer or just cuz I didn't feel like going. I missed a lot for national team camps too."

Christen shakes her head, "I don't think Cheney will let you slack off this year. Do you miss your friends though? You seemed close."

Tobin nods, looking out the window. "Yeah, for sure. But we still talk a lot and I'll see them when we go out to LA in September. Plus I think Alex is gunna get her full team call up soon, she's gotten youth team call ups and has been on Jill's radar for a while now, so I'll probably see her in camp soon. If I keep getting called up I guess."

"Tobin, you're the most skilled player I've ever played against. Of course you're going to keep getting called up."

"Thanks, Chris. I think you'll get a call up too, you know. You're super technical on the ball and you have excellent finishing. Your headers could use a little work though. And you hafta loosen up, you always look like you're about to cry after practice. You should be having fun, it's just soccer," Tobin says, fiddling with the controls for the air conditioning. 

Christen doesn't answer right away. She doesn't want to tell Tobin that sometimes she does want to cry after practice and that in high school she cried after nearly every game. She never felt good enough. If they won but she didn't score she felt useless and if they lost she felt like it was her fault. Even when she scored and they won, she still could always think of a million things she should have done better. She knows Tobin won't understand. Tobin has an amazing and beautiful relationship with soccer, while Christen's is messy and hard and painful at times. So, Christen changes the subject instead. "Thanks. Are you ready for our first games next weekend?"

"Heck yeah, I can't wait!" Tobin answers, and Christen can hear the smile in her voice, even though her eyes are on the road.

"I can't believe how fast this summer has gone. We start classes in like a week."

Tobin groans, "don't remind me."

Christen laughs as she pulls into the parking lot for the grocery store. "Hey, at least that means our season starts soon."

Tobin nods, "yeah, I guess that's true."

Christen parks and the duo head inside the store, Christen grabbing a cart on the way. Tobin walks alongside the cart holding on to it, like a small child shopping with their mom would do. Christen smiles at Tobin's back as she holds onto the cart, thinking to herself that she's completely adorable.

They make their way up and down the aisles. Every once in a while Tobin grabs something off a shelf and holds it in front of Christen asking, "how bout this? Is it on your list?"

"Sure, throw it in there," Christen keeps answering even though none of the items that Tobin wants are actually on her list. She's putting apples in a bag while Tobin holds onto the cart, when two girls who look to be about middle school or high school aged approach, laughing nervously and elbowing each other.

They stop in front of the cart and one of them speaks up. "Are you Tobin Heath?" she asks in a shaky voice, staring at Tobin.

Tobin looks at the two girls and nods. "Yup," she answers casually.

"Oh my god. I like love you. Do you think you could sign something for me? You and Abby are my favorite players," the second girl gushes, her face bright red.

Tobin smiles, "uh, thanks. I can sign something, do you have a pen or something?"

Christen watches the interaction while tying a knot at the top of the bag of apples and picks up the fine tipped sharpie she’s using as a pen, crossing apples off the list. "Here Tobs," she says, holding it out.

Tobin turns to look at her and sees the pen. "Thanks Chris," she says, smiling at her before turning back to the girls. "What do you want me to sign?" she asks.

Tobin signs both of the girls phone cases with a 'Tobin 17' before handing the pen back to Christen. "You were so amazing in the Olympics! We just went to your game against Switzerland too and you were so good," one of the girls exclaims.

"Thanks. I'm glad you guys could make it out to a fun game like that. You gunna come out to any UNC games this year?"

"Yes! Now that you're on the team we are gunna try to get our moms to take us to as many as we can!" 

"Cool, cool. Well we gotta go finish our shopping because her ice cream is melting in the cart," Tobin says gesturing back at Christen. "But we expect to see you in the stands at UNC this season."

"Wait, do you think we could get a picture?" the first girl asks, holding out her phone with a shaky hand.

Tobin nods, "yeah, sure. Chris, can you take it?" she asks, taking the girl's phone and handing it over to Christen.

Christen takes the phone and swipes it up into camera mode, holding it up and snapping a picture of Tobin in between the two girls, looking flawless even while sick. She hands the phone back to the girl, who asks Tobin for a hug. Tobin obliges, quickly hugging each girl before turning back to Christen. The girls walk a small distance away but Christen can tell they are still staring at Tobin. 

"Does that happen a lot?" she asks, beginning to push the cart towards checkout.

Tobin shrugs, holding onto the cart and walking alongside it. "Nah, but more than I expect it to. I'm always surprised when people recognize me. It happened a lot in LA but some places it happens less. I think I'll get recognized a lot here because of UNC though."

Christen begins putting items on the conveyor belt while Tobin looks at the candy and gum in the checkout lane. "Does it ever bother you?"

Tobin turns back to Christen, "yeah, sometimes. I'm super grateful to have supporters and I know I'm really blessed to be in this position but I'm a pretty private person and sometimes it can be kinda overwhelming." She turns back to the candy and picks up a chocolate bar. "Will you get me this?"

Christen nods and smiles, holding her hand out for the candy. “Yeah, sure. Give me it so I can pay." Tobin smiles back, handing her the chocolate bar, to add to the numerous other items Christen is getting for her.

After paying they walk out to the car and load the groceries into the back. Tobin yawns and rests her head against the window as Christen puts the car into reverse. "You feel okay?" Christen asks as she looks over at Tobin, thinking that she looks really pale again. 

"Just tired," Tobin mumbles, closing her eyes.

Tobin is asleep when they get home and Christen very quietly makes 3 trips, bringing in the groceries and putting them away. She then goes out and climbs back into the drivers seat, leaning across the center console and putting her hand on Tobin's shoulder. "Tobin, we're home, wake up," she says softly, gently jostling Tobin's arm. 

Tobin blinks sleepily and nods her head. She unclips her seatbelt and gets out, following Christen back up to their room.

"Let me give you some Tylenol and then you can take a nap," Christen tells Tobin once they get inside. 

Tobin nods and follows Christen to the bathroom, leaning on the counter and yawning while Christen measures out the Tylenol. She quickly drinks the Tylenol and puts the small cup down. "Why don't you go to your room and sleep for a little?" Christen asks her, while rinsing out the measuring cup. 

Tobin doesn't move and Christen looks up, meeting her eyes. "Come with me," Tobin requests. 

Christen takes a deep breath and turns back to the sink, continuing to rinse the cup even though there's no longer a trace of Tylenol in it. "I don't know, Tobin," she mutters. She knows it’s a bad idea. The more time she spends with Tobin, the more time she wants to spend with Tobin. And Tobin just doesn’t want to be alone. Cheney had even said that she’s a clinger when she’s sick. Christen knows that Tobin wants her to come to bed with her just because she’s there, and Christen doesn’t want to be someone that Tobin turns to out of convenience. She wants to be someone Tobin turns to because she wants to, because she likes her. 

Tobin reaches over and turns off the sink, taking the medicine cup from Christen's hands and setting it on the counter. "Please? I don't wanna be alone," she says softly, just further confirming that she wants someone with her and Christen happens to be the available option.

And so Christen knows she should say no, but when she looks at the pleading expression on Tobin's pale face, she finds herself relenting. "Alright. Just for a little," she says while drying her hands on a towel. 

Tobin waits until she puts down the towel then takes one of her hands, leading her to her room. She doesn't bother to turn on the light or shut the door, she just pulls Christen over to the bed and climbs in, holding the blankets back for Christen. 

Christen gingerly climbs in the bed after Tobin, who quickly snuggles up next to her. Within minutes Tobin's breathing is slow and even and she's clearly asleep. Christen pulls her phone from her pocket and sees she has a bunch of notifications from Instagram. She opens up the app and sees that she's tagged in a comment on a picture. The picture is of her and Tobin standing in a checkout line. Tobin is handing her the candy bar and they are smiling at each other. The caption reads ' _met @tobinheath in a grocery store today!! She was soooo nice and was shopping with a UNC teammate. #ishipit #talexwho_ '. Christen is confused by the hashtags and starts reading through the comments. There are a lot saying that they love Tobin or asking questions about what Tobin was like. She then sees some comments with her mentioned.

 

_'checked uncs roster and that's christin press'_

_'Does she have an ig?'_

_'Ya it's @christenpress'_

_'Shes pretty'_

_'Uhm no. #talexforever'_

_'#talex is dead but I don't ship this'_

 

Christen has about 10 new followers and someone has commented on her most recent pic, ' _stay away from @tobinheath #talex_ '. Christen is confused by it all and clicks on the hashtag. There are a lot of random pictures but mixed in are pictures of Tobin and her friend Alex from UCLA. Most are pictures from Tobin or Alex or Allie's Instagram but there are some pictures that Christen hasn't seen. There's a few pictures of them that are similar to the one of Christen and Tobin from the grocery store. There's one of them standing outside of a bar, Tobin leaning towards Alex and laughing, Alex with one hand on Tobin's shoulder, smiling, neither looking at the camera. There's another of their backs, standing and looking up at a menu in a coffee shop. There's a lot of pictures of them in soccer uniforms or warm ups, laughing on the bench together, hugging after goals or victories, helping each other up, or even just being near each other on the field.

Christen continues her social media research and figures out that fans think that Tobin and Alex are in, or were in, a relationship and Talex is the name they call the two together. There's rumors that the two broke up which is why Tobin transferred to UNC. Christen isn't sure what to believe and decides to just talk to Tobin about it when she wakes up. She locks her phone and puts it next to her, closing her eyes and trying to relax.

Christen is on the verge of sleep herself when she feels Tobin's breathing pick up and hears her whimper a bit in her sleep. Without really thinking, she wraps her arms around Tobin, holding her tight. Tobin settles and her breathing evens out again. Christen doesn't even realize she has fallen asleep until she wakes up in the darkened room without Tobin. She checks her phone and sees that she slept for about an hour before she gets up and goes looking for Tobin. 

She finds her in the kitchen, standing in front of the open fridge and looking down into it. She looks up when Christen walks in. "Hi. I'm hungry," she says with a small smile.

Christen stretches as her own stomach growls. "Yeah me too, we can have an early dinner. What do you want?"

Tobin lets go of the fridge door, letting it close and looks at Christen. "Hmm what about pancakes?" she asks.

Christen laughs, "yeah we can do that. Wanna help?" 

Tobin nods, "sure. Tell me what to do." 

Tobin is not entirely helpful, in fact she is really only creating more work by getting flour and batter everywhere with her enthusiastic wisking, but she keeps Christen laughing the entire time they cook. A half an hour later the two are sitting down at the kitchen counter, a plate piled high with pancakes between them, a mess in the kitchen behind them, and flour and pancake batter in their hair and on their clothes. Christen decides to bring up the Instagram comments while they are serving themselves. 

"So, those girls from the store today took a picture of us in the checkout line and posted it on Instagram and your fans went a little crazy," she starts, trying to sound casual. 

Tobin looks up at her, eyes wide. "Let me guess they said we're dating? Or that I cheated on an ex with you? Or something along those lines?"

Christen nods, "yeah, and they kept commenting things about Talex? Is Alex an ex?"

Tobin coughs and laughs awkwardly, pouring syrup over her pancakes. "No, she's straight, just a good friend. There's fans that are like really interested in my love life for whatever reason and anyone I'm spotted with it's assumed we’re fucking or dating or something. Just ignore it, it'll blow over. The thing with Alex is the only one that's stuck around and I think that's just because she's got a growing fan base too."

Christen nods and takes the syrup from Tobin. They talk about their upcoming games against UCF and Charlotte while they eat. After they finish Christen gets up to start cleaning up the mess. Tobin gets up to help, carrying their plates over to the sink, while Christen puts the left over pancakes in a ziplock bag.

Christen walks over to the sink to help Tobin with the dishes and Tobin looks up at her and starts to laugh. "What?" Christen asks, confused.

"Nothing, it's just...here," Tobin says, reaching for Christen's face. She puts one hand on the side of Christen's neck and brings the other hand up to Christen's face, brushing her thumb over Christen's cheekbone. "There," Tobin whispers, looking into Christen's eyes. "Just some pancake batter." 

Christen stands still and she's sure Tobin can feel her racing heart rate under her hand that remains lightly resting on the side of her neck. Tobin's eyes flick down to Christen's lips for the briefest of moments. Christen involuntarily licks her lips and swallows hard. Tobin takes in a breath and slowly pulls her hands back, turning back to the sink. Christen closes her eyes for a second trying to regain her composure while she listens to Tobin washing the frying pan, softly humming a song that Christen doesn't recognize.

After they clean up, Christen changes and goes for a run, convincing Tobin that she's still too sick to run and telling her to go wash the flour out of her hair and pick a movie for them to watch.

Christen runs until her mind is no longer clouded with thoughts of Tobin Heath and then she runs a little longer just for good measure. She finally returns to the suite, drenched in sweat and exhausted. She walks in and finds Tobin lying on the couch, talking on the phone. She waves and heads to the shower.

After showering and getting dressed she returns to the living room. Tobin has a movie ready and grins when Christen walks in. "Ready?" she asks, waiting to press play on the movie.

"Sure. What are we watching?" Christen asks.

"The second Harry Potter, since we watched the first last night."

Christen laughs, "no, I watched the first. You were sleeping."

Tobin shrugs. "Whatever, I was tired."

Tobin starts the movie and for the first half hour she makes some comments to Christen. After another half hour with no comments, Christen looks over and sees that Tobin has fallen asleep. Christen gets ready for bed then comes back into the living room. She gently wakes Tobin up and turns off the movie while Tobin goes to the bathroom and brushes her teeth. Tobin finishes up and heads to her room and Christen goes into the bathroom herself. She is washing her hands when Tobin appears in the doorway. "You coming?" she asks, cocking her head in the direction of her bedroom. 

Christen dries her hands and meets Tobin's gaze through the mirror. "You want me to sleep in your bed again?"

Tobin nods. "Yeah. Please?" 

And again, Christen knows she should say no. She knows that this is a slippery slope that she’s treading on and that she should be careful. She should say no, to draw a boundary and separate herself from the midfielder. But it’s Tobin. And she’s warm and cuddly and Christen just wants to be around her, even if it’s probably not a good idea. And Christen can’t bring herself to say no to Tobin when she’s looking at her like that, her eyes wide and shining while she waits for answer. So once again, even though she knows she shouldn’t, she nods her head and follows Tobin to her room. She lays on her back in Tobin's bed, Tobin sprawled out only inches away from her, and surprisingly has no trouble drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this woulda been up earlier today but the snow melted and it was in the 40s, so instead of doing any of the work I should have done all day, I snuck onto the closed soccer fields and got my 5,000 touches and made a cool boomerang (it's really mediocre at best-see my tumblr for proof) Anyway, hope you're all having a good week and that you enjoyed the chapter :)


	9. I just don't lose

Christen wakes up to an empty bed and checks the time, seeing that it's 10am. She usually wakes up early to meditate and do yoga but her routine has been thrown off the past few days. Normally, her routine being thrown off would throw her off and she would feel unsettled and anxious that her day is not planned or following a schedule. However, as she lies in Tobin’s bed, stretching her arms out, she feels well rested and relaxed and she thinks that maybe some of Tobin’s ‘chill’ is contagious.

Christen rolls out of bed and heads to the living room, finding Tobin on the couch playing FIFA. When she enters the room Tobin pauses the game and jumps up. "Pretty Pressy! You're finally awake! Wanna go get breakfast? I'm mad starving, I've been awake for like 20 minutes already," she says, excitedly.

Christen laughs, "Wow, 20 whole minutes! I don't know how you survived! Sure we can go get breakfast, I'll get dressed."

"Okay cool, me too!" Tobin exclaims, turning off the Xbox.

Christen quickly gets dressed, throwing on shorts and a tank top, and sliding sandals on her feet, before pulling her hair back into a pony tail. Ten minutes later, Christen walks back out into the living room and finds Tobin already sitting on the couch waiting for her. She hops up and grins widely at Christen. "You look good Pressy. Ready to go?"

 

Christen nods, looking over Tobin's outfit as she follows her out the door. She's wearing US soccer shorts and t shirt, her hair wild and Nike slides on her feet. Christen shakes her head at the way Tobin still looks flawless even though it's clear she just grabbed random clothes and didn't bother to brush her hair. "How are you feeling Tobin? You look a lot better than yesterday or the day before," she comments as they walk down the stairs.

Tobin grins back at her. "I feel good! But I'll feel even better once I eat," she says, hopping down the last 2 steps. She turns and narrows her eyes at Christen as Christen walks down the last set of stairs. "But you said I look better so does that mean I looked bad before? Or that I just look extra good now?" she asks with a smirk.

Christen rolls her eyes, walking past Tobin to the door to the parking lot. "Honestly Tobs," she says, trying out the nickname. "You looked pretty crappy the past two days." 

Tobin gasps in mock offense, but the big smile on her face gives her away. "Wow Chris, that was mean. My heart is broken."

Christen laughs, slapping Tobin's shoulder as they walk towards her jeep. "Oh, shut up. Do you want to drive or want me to?"

Tobin rubs her shoulder, acting like the light slap hurt her and smiles at Christen. "I'll drive. But where do you wanna go? I only know of that one place we went to for brunch that one time. Do you have like yelp or something that you can look up breakfast places nearby?"

Christen finds a restaurant that serves breakfast and Tobin pulls on a pair of Rayban's and rolls all the windows down. She digs around behind her and comes up with a snapback, throwing it on backwards before pulling the jeep out of the parking space. She turns on the radio and sings along loudly on the drive. Christen laughs and watches as Tobin's hair blows wildly in the wind from under the snapback and her white teeth glitter in the sunlight between her singing and smiling. No longer pale, her tanned skin looks flawless and Christen feels her chest constrict as she stares at her from the passenger seat.

Tobin must feel her staring because she turns to her and grins as she stops at a red light, and she reaches a hand over and squeezes Christen's bare thigh before bringing it back to the wheel and her gaze back to the road. Christen's skin burns where Tobin's hand was and she finds her mind racing. This is not just jealousy or nerves, Christen is realizing. In fact she's almost positive that she has a crush on Tobin Heath.

 

They talk about the places they've traveled to while they eat. Tobin talks passionately about all the countries she's visited with the national team. "Football is so universal but also so diverse," she explains. "Like no matter where you go you can communicate with soccer. But at the same time it's so different everywhere. Playing pickup with kids in Brazil is a totally different game than practicing with academy kids in London and that's totally different from scrimmaging against the national team in China. It's pretty freaking rad," she finishes, her eyes ablaze and a smile on her face.

Christen can't help but smile back. "Do you have a favorite? Place or style of play or something?"

Tobin doesn't miss a beat. "Brazil. No doubt. I think I'll live there one day. Ronaldinho is my favorite so I try to play like him. There's this comfort with the ball that the Brazilian style has. I just want to take care of the ball every time I get it. HAO nicknamed me Tobinho and now some of the national team players tease me and call me that."

Christen thinks this is the most that she's ever heard Tobin talk and she's entranced. She tries to think of what she could say or ask Tobin to keep her talking like this, so passionate and happy. "I can see that, you definitely have all the flashy moves. How old were you when you started playing?"

Tobin sips her water. "Four. I still remember my first practice behind a YMCA. I thought it was the coolest thing ever and I guess I never really stopped playing or loving it. What about you?"

Christen laughs. "I was five and I hated it at first. The whole first season my parents brought a video camera to every game and I didn't touch the ball a single time. I used to put on little performances to entertain them on the sideline. My mom would be like 'why don't you go over there where the ball is?' And I'd be like 'uh mom there's a lot of people over there and they're all kicking!' I think I wanted to quit after that season but I went back and I don't know, it was like a switch was flipped between the two seasons. By the second season I was all over scoring goals and fouling the other team," Christen laughs. "I get really competitive. No one wanted to play sports with me when I was little because I was that kid that took it way too seriously, from tic tac toe to dodgeball. I was kind of a sore loser."

Tobin's eyes crinkle as she laughs. "I was the same way...but everyone still liked to play with me because I'm so awesome. But I don't lose," Tobin says in all seriousness.

Christen rolls her eyes. "Yes you do. Everyone loses." She tries to think of a game or drill that the team has done in practice that ended with Tobin on a losing team and surprisingly is coming up blank.

Tobin shakes her head. "Nope. I really hate it so I just don't lose." 

Christen laughs awkwardly, not really sure if Tobin is being serious or not. "Well, I guess that's good since that means we'll be undefeated this year, right?"

Tobin nods, "yup, that's the plan." 

They continue talking long after all of their food is gone. Tobin drives them back to UNC and parks near one of the rec fields instead of their dorm. "Let's kick the ball around," she says, getting out and grabbing a soccer ball from the back seat. Christen follows, slipping out of her sandals when they get to the field. They pass the ball between each other and continue talking. Eventually Christen gets bored and instead sits in the grass, watching Tobin juggle until Tobin gets tired and plops down next to her. They talk about their favorite music and books and movies. Tobin shares a few stories from childhood, like how she hated wearing shin guards (and still does) or how in high school she got a job mowing the fields just so she could spend more time there. Tobin tells her about her first call up and her first camp and her first cap. She finds out that Tobin doesn't like ice cream but loves hamburgers and breakfast food. Tobin admits that she used to steal gear from US soccer after camps and explains that she 'doesn't really get rules,' with a shrug and a smile.

Not only does Tobin talk more than Christen’s ever heard, but she also listens. She asks thoughtful questions and lets Christen ramble. Christen finds herself opening up to Tobin. They've been at the field playing and talking all day and they both are getting tired and a little hungry. As they start to get up and slowly walk back to the car, Christen tells Tobin about her insecurities with soccer and how she cries after every game. Tobin listens thoughtfully and opens the passenger side of the jeep for Christen. She stands there in the open door after Christen gets in and Christen turns to look at her, confused as to why she didn't close the door yet. Tobin is staring into her eyes with a serious look on her face. "You know Chris, it doesn't have to be like that. You just need to fall back in love with the game," she says, before closing the door and walking around to the driver’s side. _Gee thanks. It's just that simple, just fall in love with soccer again_ , Christen thinks bitterly.

Back at the suite Christen makes a chicken stir fry dinner for her and Tobin. Tobin helps in the kitchen and they continue talking. After they eat and clean up, Tobin sets up the TV with something for them to watch. Christen laughs when she sits down and hands Tobin a bowl of popcorn and looks up to see that Tobin has pulled up the Olympics final. Tobin grins and presses play. "Have you seen this game before?" she asks Christen.

Christen stares at Tobin, "seriously Tobs? Of course I've seen this I watched with my club team and we were freaking out watching it! When you did the elastico around Kemme to get the cross off so Abby could score? We were going nuts," she laughs.

Tobin grins, "yeah, it was pretty cool. I think I like blacked out, I hardly even remember the rest of the game after that and then next thing you know it was the medal ceremony."

Christen looks at the screen while the German national anthem plays then looks back at Tobin. "What'd you do with your medal?" she asks.

Tobin gets up off the couch. "Hang on, I'll go get it," she says before bounding down the hallway to her room.

She comes back a minute later and holds out the medal to Christen. Christen takes it gingerly and is surprised at it's weight. "It's heavier than I thought it would be," she says thoughtfully.

Tobin nods and takes it from Christen's hands. "Here," she says softly, putting the ribbon over Christen's head so she can wear the medal. "It looks good on you. You'll have your own one day though."

Christen laughs, "yeah, okay."

Tobin looks at her earnestly, "I'm serious Chris. You and me, Tokyo 2020. How's that sound?"

Christen looks at the medal and then looks up meeting Tobin's gaze. Tobin is looking at her like she doesn't have a single doubt that they will be in Tokyo together. So, she smiles at Tobin and nods, "yeah. That sounds really good."

 

Later that night, Tobin doesn't even ask Christen to stay in her room with her. She just says "let's go to bed," and Christen winds up in Tobin's bed. They lay on their sides facing each other in the darkness, faint light from the window just barely illuminating their features. "You know I was being serious about the Olympics right Chris? And even the World Cup in 2019. We're gunna need forwards with Abby retiring and other players getting older. The World Cup is 2 years away that's plenty of time to get your call up and make a good impression. We can win our first World Cup together. I think we can do it, you and me," Tobin finishes, her eyes shining brightly, even in the dimly lit room. Christen looks at Tobin and for a minute she can picture it. The two of them, together, in USA kits, medals being placed around their necks, confetti falling around them, the crowd going wild. It’s a nice daydream and maybe it’s a little crazy to believe, but it’s Tobin. And she’s lying there, looking back at Christen, a small smile on her lips and her brown eyes full of promise and Christen can’t help but think that it’s possible. They lay in silence for a few seconds before Tobin yawns and closes her eyes.

"Yeah. I think we can do it too," Christen whispers before letting her own eyes close and drifting off to sleep.

 

Christen wakes up first and slips out of bed softly shutting the door behind her. She does a quick yoga workout and meditates. She makes coffee and sips it slowly while planning out her day. At around 9:30 she decides to make breakfast for her and Tobin. She makes omelets and toast and pours Tobin a cup of coffee. When everything is ready she heads back down the hall into Tobin's room, where Tobin is still asleep. She gently tries to wake Tobin up who groans and brushes her away. "Tobin, it's already 10 and I made you breakfast."

At this Tobin opens one eye to look at her. "Breakfast?" she asks sleepily.

Christen nods, "yup. Omelets and coffee and toast and its gunna get cold unless you get up."

Tobin opens both eyes and sits up. "Okay, okay, I'm awake," she mumbles, climbing out of bed. 

After breakfast, the two clean up and head to the field to train. They grab a quick lunch at the dining hall before heading back to the suite to shower and change. Christen is doing her hair when Kelley bursts in. “ROOMIE! I missed you! Didja miss me?!” she yells, tossing her duffle bag and backpack down.

Christen jumps up and pulls Kelley into a huge hug. “Of course I missed you! How was your weekend? What’d you do?”

Christen finishes her hair while Kelley recounts her entire weekend and unpacks her bag. Christen gathers up her clothes to walk with Kelley down to the laundry room so they can continue talking. “TOBS! Wanna do laundry with us?” she calls out their open bedroom door. Tobin peeks her head in the room as she walks from the living room to her bedroom and says she will.

“Tobs? You’re on nickname level? Was ‘Tobs’ here all weekend with you? Are you guys besties now? Did you fall in love? Are you gunna get married? Am I invited? Can I bring a plus one?” Kelley whispers.

Christen rolls her eyes. “She was here. We’ll talk about it later.”

Kelley raises her eyebrows, “ooh secrets? I love it, I can’t wait. It better be good.”

The three walk down to the laundry room together and Christen and Kelley laugh as they try to teach Tobin how to separate her clothes and work the washing machine. “Dude seriously, how have you never done laundry before?” Kelley asks. 

“I get pretty girls to do it for me,” she shrugs and jokes, grinning cheekily at Christen.

After they finish loading up their laundry they start to head back to the room, but Kelley grabs Christen’s hand, pulling her in the opposite direction. “Hey Tobin, we’re gunna go grab coffee, we’ll be right back. Want anything?” Kelley asks. 

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks though,” Tobin says, continuing on towards their room.

Kelley pulls Christen into the stairwell and turns to look at her. “Okay spill. What’s going on with you two?”

Christen raises an eyebrow and laughs nervously. “What do you mean?”

“I leave for a weekend and come back and the two of you are using nicknames and shooting flirty smiles at each other and one of your shirts was in with her wash!” 

“Kell, relax. I think I let her borrow the shirt a couple weeks ago or something, I don’t even remember. And we are not shooting flirty smiles at each other. They’re just smiles. Regular smiles. Friend smiles. We just hung out over the weekend. Tobin was sick Thursday and Friday and I took care of her since Cheney was busy. And I kinda slept in her bed. We just like watched soccer and talked and hung out. It was no big deal,” Christen rambles.

Kelley nods, “alright, whatever you say but I thought I was your friend and I never get those special ‘friend smiles’ from you,” she teases as they walk out of the dorm towards the Starbucks in the nearest dining hall. A few seconds later she grabs Christen’s arm. “Hold up. Did you say you ‘kinda’ slept in her bed?” she asks, making air quotes. “What does that even mean?”

Christen sighs. “Okay, not kinda. I did sleep in her bed. She was so sick and she didn’t want me to go and I felt bad. I don’t think she likes to be alone. I don’t know.”

“So you just slept?” Kelley asks, waggling her eyebrows at Christen.

“Yes. Nothing happened! We’re just friends,” Christen quickly says, and regrets it when she realizes how defensive she sounds.

“Right, right. Friends with friend smiles, who share clothes and beds,” Kelley says, nodding. “Did you cuddle? Was it weird? What about when you woke up?”

“I don’t know. It was a little weird at first I guess but it wasn’t a huge deal. We woke up in the middle of the night and had grilled cheese,” Christen recounts with a smile, thinking back to the first night they had shared Tobin’s bed. “I slept in her bed the next night and last night too,” she admits. “I think I like her,” Christen says softly, her cheeks heating up. 

Kelley's eyes go wide. "Really? Do you think she feels the same way? I bet she does. You're crazy hot Chris and she definitely checks you out."

Christen shakes her head. "First of all, don’t call me crazy hot. It’s weird. And second of all, I don't know Kell. I don't even really know my own feelings. I think I just wanna stay friends with her for now and just see what happens. Don't tell anyone okay?"

Kelley nods as they walk into the Starbucks. "Of course. So tell me about your weekend? What'd you guys do?"

Christen recounts the weekend to Kelley as they get their coffee and walk back to the dorm. "Oh and last night Tobin let me wear her gold medal!" she finishes as they enter the stairwell.

"Ooh, kinky," Kelley teases.

Christen rolls her eyes and elbows Kelley as they start up the stairs. "Shut up. It was not kinky at all."

Kelley laughs, "whatever. Do you think she'd let me wear it too? What did it feel like? Was it awesome?"

Christen thinks for a moment. "It was heavier than I expected. But it felt, I don't know, it felt like motivation. That sounds so cheesy but seeing it up close and wearing it around my neck it was like 'this could be yours if you work hard enough'. It made me wanna go out for a run and take a billion shots," Christen laughs, pulling open the door to their hall.

"Sounds powerful," Kelley muses.

Tobin, Kelley and Christen move their laundry to the dryers and find Alyssa has gotten home when they get back to the room. Julie gets back soon after and they hang out in the living room, trying to decide what to do for dinner. They end up just going to the dining hall. After dinner they take turns getting beaten by Kelley and Tobin in FIFA. They all get ready for bed pretty early since they have training the next morning.

About a half an hour after they go to bed Christen is laying in her bed, wide awake. Kelley has been asleep for a while but for some reason Christen just can't get comfortable or settle her mind. She is about to give up and go do some yoga and meditation in the living room when her phone buzzes from behind her, on her desk. She reaches back and grabs it, squinting at the brightness of the screen. As she unlocks the phone with her thumb, it buzzes again in her hand.

 

**Tobin:** Are u awake?

**Tobin:** Can't sleep

 

Christen smiles and quickly answers Tobin.

 

**Christen:** Yeah I'm awake. I can't sleep either

**Tobin:** Come in here?

**Christen:** What about Kelley?

**Tobin:** No the invitation is for u only…sorry KO

 

Christen snorts and rolls her eyes.

 

**Christen:** Lol I mean what about when she wakes up tomorrow and I'm not here?

**Tobin:** U always wake up first but u could just set a alarm and go back in the am

 

Like always, Christen knows it's probably a bad idea, but she ignores the voice in her head and quietly slips out of the room. She pads down the hall to Tobin's room, gently closing it behind her before climbing into her side of the bed. She settles in on her side, facing Tobin. Even in the darkness she can see Tobin's bright smile. "Hi," Tobin whispers, inching a little bit closer to Christen.

"Hi," Christen whispers back. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Dunno. I really don't like to be alone. Missed ya I guess," Tobin says softly. "What about you?"

"Your bed and pillows are comfier than mine," Christen says, with a serious face.

Tobin giggles quietly and rolls onto her back. "Whatever. Goodnight Pressy."

"Night Tobs."

 

The next morning Christen slips out from underneath Tobin's arm. She tiptoes back to her room, her heart racing when she hears the water running in the kitchen. She quickly gets into her room and sees that Kelley is still asleep. She sets an alarm for 10 minutes later and slides back into her bed, closing her eyes until she has to get up for practice.

They continue this routine for the next few days. Tobin still comes and goes all day but she starts sleeping in the suite every night, and after everyone is in their rooms and Kelley is asleep, Christen slips out of her room and climbs in bed with Tobin. Sometimes she wakes up with Tobin in her arms or wrapped around her and other times when she wakes up they are still on their own sides of the bed. Neither of them talk about this arrangement, it just becomes an unspoken routine. 

On Wednesday morning, Christen's alarm goes off. She wakes up on her side, with Tobin behind her, spooning her. She quickly shuts off her alarm but Tobin only tightens her grip on her. "Tobs, let go. I have to go back in my room before anyone wakes up," she whispers.

She feels Tobin's chest vibrate against her back as she lets out a low groan. "Five more minutes," she mumbles, her breath blowing against the back of Christen's neck, giving her goosebumps.

"I can't. Alyssa is probably already awake. You don't have to get up yet, I'll wake you up 10 minutes before we have to leave, but I have to get up," Christen says as she wiggles out of Tobin's arms. Tobin finally relents, sighing dramatically.

"You were warm," she pouts, her eyes still closed.

Christen giggles at the sight. "Go back to sleep. You'll be fine," she whispers before pulling the door open and slipping out. She is softly shutting the door behind her when the bathroom door opens. Christen slowly turns and finds Kelley, standing in the hallway staring at her.

Christen brings a finger to her lips and points to their bedroom before Kelley can freak out, waking JJ and Alyssa up. Kelley walks into their bedroom with Christen right behind her and immediately whirls around when they get into the room. "Chris, what the hell? Are you still sleeping in there? You weren't in your bed at like 3am when I woke up to get a drink the other night but I just assumed you were like in the bathroom or something, but now I find you sneaking out of her room in the morning? Are you sleeping together?"

"Kelley, shhh. Relax. No, we're not sleeping together. We’re just sleeping. Together. It's not a big deal. She doesn't like to sleep alone and I guess I don't either. We literally just sleep, that's it."

"Christen. That's weird. People don't just sleep in the same bed every night just because they don't like to sleep alone."

"It's not a big deal. We're just friends. You and I have cuddled and you didn't think that was weird."

"Okay, we cuddled when I was practically still drunk from the night before and it was for like a few hours of extra sleep. Plus I always need some one to cuddle with when I'm hungover. Are you and Tobin cuddling? Every night for almost a week? That's weird for ‘just friends’ Chris. Plus you're like sneaking around about it like high schoolers. I’m just worried about this ending badly CP. You said you like her and I don’t want you to end up getting hurt. Does anyone else know? Cheney?"

"I don't think so. Unless Tobin told her. Please don't tell her, Kell." 

"Of course not. You're my roommate and best friend here, if you wanna secretly sleep with Tobin every night I promise to keep that secret. But I do think you should talk to her about it."

"I know, I know. I'll talk to her about it tonight. Let's just get ready for practice."

Christen thinks about Kelley's words while she gets ready. She likes sleeping in Tobin's bed. It's comfortable and Tobin is warm and cuddly and she always sleeps so well when she's in bed with Tobin. However, she knows Kelley is right and it's an unusual situation that could lead to her getting hurt and she should talk to Tobin about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick story: When I was 12 I flew from NY to California to go to Julie Foudy's soccer camp for a week (which was freaking awesome btw) and she let me hold and wear her gold medals from 1996 and 2004 (and silver from 2000, which she calls her 'white gold medal') and they really were heavier than I expected! And I was so in awe that "it's heavier than it looks" was like the only sentence I could form lol. Anyway hope you liked the chapter! :)


	10. Take it back

Christen doesn't get the chance to talk to Tobin that night. Anson tells them at training that morning practice is cancelled on Thursday and that instead, they will have a short training in the afternoon and a team meeting in the evening to prepare for their games on Friday and Sunday. The team decides that this is the perfect opportunity to go out as a team, since they don't have to wake up for training the next morning. After hearing murmurs of the team’s plans, Anson and Becky give an impromptu locker room lecture about how their actions reflect on the team and alcohol will negatively affect their performance on the pitch. The upperclassman all nod along solemnly but after Anson leaves to go back to his office, Becky smiles at the team and claims that the first round of shots will be on her.

That evening after dinner, Christen and JJ are sitting on the floor of Christen's room getting ready while Kelley dances around behind them, a handle of grape vodka in her hand, singing loudly to a Ke$ha song. Tobin and Alyssa are sipping beers and playing Xbox in the living room. Kelley somehow convinces Christen and JJ to take a few shots over the course of getting ready, so they are already pretty buzzed. Christen opts for high waisted shorts, a crop top, and sandals for the hot Carolina evening. When her hair is pulled back into a sleek high pony tail and her make up is done, she pops up, and grabs Kelley's hands to dance with her, while they wait for JJ to finish her make up.

Once JJ is done, she orders them an Uber and they head into the living room, just as Alyssa and Tobin are turning off the TV. Kelley comes dancing into the room with the speaker in one hand and the grape vodka in the other. Tobin turns around, laughing, and opens her mouth to say something to Kelley but she stops short and Christen can feel her staring at her. Christen is glad that she’s a little tipsy otherwise she’s sure her face would be bright red with the way Tobin’s eyes are dragging over her body, lingering on her legs and the sliver of her exposed midriff. Kelley dances over and thrusts the vodka into Tobin’s hands. “Here you go, Heath. You look like you could use a drink,” she says in a teasing tone.

Tobin finally closes her mouth and drags her eyes away from Christen, looking down at the alcohol in her hand. She shrugs and unscrews the top, taking a swig straight from the bottle.

Kelley convinces them that they all need to take one more shot, 'for the road'. They gather at the kitchen counter and Kelley begins to pour the shots, laughing and spilling as she goes. Tobin slides next to Christen. "Looking good pretty Pressy. Livin' up to your nickname," she says lowly, leaning closer to Christen.

Christen’s heart beats wildly and she takes a shaky breath before answering. "You look good too," she stutters out, picking up her shot in one hand and a chaser of lemonade in the other. And she does look good, Christen thinks. She has on those ripped up white jeans, a dark green tank top, and leather flip flops, a little more makeup than usual and a snapback over her wavy locks. Christen thinks she looks too good and she’s nowhere near drunk enough to be able to remain calm with how close Tobin is standing to her. So, she knocks the shot back quickly, grimacing at the disgusting taste, and sipping lemonade to wash the cheap vodka down.

In the Uber, Christen sits in the middle row with Kelley. Tobin sits in the front seat and immediately starts a conversation with the driver. Christen watches Tobin’s jaw move as she asks the Uber driver questions about what it’s like to be an Uber driver. Kelley keeps insisting that they take selfies together with stupid Snapchat filters and Christen knows Kelley is drunk when she can’t stop laughing at the dog filter. It dawns on Christen that she’s tipsy too when she really looks at their faces with the dog filter and realizes that Kelley is right, it’s actually funny. She thinks back to the last time she was drunk and realizes that it was at the party at the beginning of preseason, where she apparently had been dancing with Tobin. She glances back up to the front seat where Tobin and the Uber driver are laughing like they’re best friends, and decides that if she isn’t going to have the chance to have a serious conversation with Tobin, she might as well try to dance with her tonight.

A half hour later, the team is crammed around a couple of back tables in some dive bar that doesn't ID at the door. True to her word, Becky brings over a round of Fireball shots and they toast to their first game of the season. Christen tosses back the shot, sipping the mixed drink that Ali had gotten her as a chaser. Tobin returns from the bar, a PBR in her hand, and squeezes between teammates to be next to Christen. “Hey,” she says, simply.

Christen breathes in Tobin’s scent as she leans into Christen to be heard over the loud music, and she isn’t sure if it’s perfume or what, but it’s familiar and exotic at the same time and it’s enough to make her mind go blank. Tobin leans back a bit to sip on her beer and Christen realizes that she should probably say something back to Tobin, instead of just staring at her like an idiot. But, right as she’s about to respond, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns away from Tobin to see who it was. 

Standing before her is a tall, blonde guy, who looks to be around her age. He’s handsome, but Christen thinks he’s handsome in a traditional and total frat boy kind of way, and she finds herself bored of him before he even opens his mouth. “Hey, I’m Allen. Can I buy you a drink?” he drawls in a strong southern accent. 

Christen takes a second to think. She doesn’t have a fake ID and doesn’t want to keep bumming drinks off her teammates. Her drink from Ali is almost gone and she thinks she needs at least one more to give her the liquid courage it’ll take to ask Tobin to dance. She’s pretty inexperienced when it comes to going out drinking and she figures she can just get the free drink from Allen and then politely shoot him down. So, she smiles back at him and nods. “Hi, I’m Christen. And sure, a vodka cranberry would be great,” she answers, following him to the bar. 

Allen, it turns out, is a talker and she finds herself sipping her second vodka and cranberry and nodding disinterestedly while he tells her how hard he works to stay in shape for baseball season. When he flexes and tells her she can touch his bicep if she wants, Christen has had enough. She tells Allen that she’s going to the bathroom and she’ll come find him after and sets off to find Tobin. It feels like the alcohol suddenly hits her when she stands up from the bar stool and when Kelley comes over and grabs her, Christen agrees that dancing is the best idea that Kelley has ever had, and thinks that she can just get warmed up to dance with Tobin. After a few songs, Christen remembers her mission and starts looking around the bar for Tobin. She finally spots her on the outskirts of the group. She's dancing with a short tan skinned brunette, her hands on the girls hips as she grinds into Tobin, the girl's arms thrown around Tobin's neck, and Tobin leaning down, saying something in her ear. The sight of this makes her blood boil but she tries to shake it off and focus on dancing with Kelley and her teammates before anyone notices her scowling in Tobin's direction.

A little while, later she's sitting at the table, sipping ice water, hot from dancing, when she hears Kling yell, "yeah! Get it Tobs!" Her head snaps up and looks around and sees Tobin leading the brunette out of the bar. She looks back to the table and sees that she's not the only one that noticed. Cheney and ARod are whispering to each other across the table and Kelley is staring at Christen, a concerned look on her face. Christen ignores Kelley's stare and sips her water, trying to hear what ARod and Cheney are saying over the loud music. After a few minutes, Kelley gets up.

"Chris, let's dance more," Kelley says, grabbing Christen's hand. Christen allows herself to be dragged onto the dance floor and she dances with Kelley and JJ for what feels like hours, happy to get her mind off Tobin.

They are heading back to the table, exhausted, when Alyssa finds them. "Hey, Ubers here. You guys ready? Where's Tobin?" she asks.

"Tobin left like an hour ago, it's just us," JJ answers.

The girls say goodbye to their remaining teammates and head outside to climb into the waiting Uber. They get to their suite and open the door. JJ starts laughing when they realize that there are two pairs of shoes and a purse littering the floor leading to the hallway. In the hallway are Tobin's tank top and a dress, leading to Tobin's door, which is shut, with music blaring behind it. "Oh my god. I feel like we should have some sort of roommate rule about this," JJ laughs.

"Seriously. Jeez, I don't need it rubbed in my face that I'm not getting any and someone else is," Kelley slurs.

Christen mumbles through goodnights and goes to the bathroom. She's standing at the sink taking off her make up when the loud music from Tobin's room finally shuts off. A few minutes later, she's brushing her teeth when the brunette from the bar walks past, barefoot, zipping her dress up, and with smudged make up and messy hair. Christen glares at the girl through the mirror as she walks past. She slams her toothbrush into the cup and wipes her mouth before heading back to her room, ignoring the lump in her throat. She climbs into her bed and closes her eyes against the angry tears that threaten to spill over. She falls into a restless sleep fairly quickly due to the alcohol in her system. 

The next morning she wakes up to the buzzing of her phone and Kelley grumbling from her bed, "Chris, turn that off. I'm trying to sleep."

Christen grabs the phone off her desk, to see a missed call and text from Ali.

 

**Ali:** Morning Christen! A bunch of us are gunna grab breakfast together at rams head at 10:30. You guys wanna join?

 

She checks the time and sees that it's 9:45, giving them plenty of time to get ready. She texts Ali back, 'sure, meet you there!’ She gets up and lures Kelley out of bed with promises of coffee and French toast and walks into the living room, where Alyssa is already awake, sipping coffee and flipping through the channels. "Morning Lyss, wanna go to breakfast at 10:30? Ali texted me, I don't know who else is going," she says.

"Sure, I'll wake Jules up," Alyssa says, getting up from the couch.

Christen brushes her teeth and throws on shorts and a t shirt. She's fixing her hair in front of the bathroom mirror with Julie next to her brushing her teeth. Kelley comes in to brush her teeth as well, standing between the two. "Should we invite Tobin?" Julie asks, after rinsing her mouth.

Kelley meets Christen's eye and quickly spits her toothpaste out into the sink. "I'll go see if she's awake," she says, rinsing her toothbrush.

Christen hears Kelley knocking on Tobin's door, before she bounces back to the bathroom. "She’s not here," she says with a shrug, before heading down the hallway towards the living room.

Breakfast with her teammates turns out to be just what Christen needed. She's only known these girls for a few weeks but with the amount of time they spend together, it feels like she's known them for years. Laughing around a table with them keeps her mind off of Tobin and the rest of the day passes in a blur with training and a team meeting. Christen tries to act normal but finds herself avoiding Tobin throughout the day. She knows she doesn’t really have a right to be upset with her, they’re just friends and Tobin can do whatever she wants. But Christen can’t help but feel a little hurt, as much as she tries to shake it off and get over this stupid little crush.

 

That night, Christen sits on her bedroom floor with Ali, JJ, ARod, and Cheney, painting their nails white and Carolina blue before the game the next day. Alyssa, Kelley, Ashlyn, and Tobin are playing FIFA in the next room. After a few minutes Tobin comes in and plops down between Cheney and Christen. "I’m bored of beating them," she says, picking up the bottle of white nail polish and shaking it. She opens it and begins deftly painting the nails on her right hand. Christen, JJ, and Ali all watch, curiously. Tobin finally looks up to see them staring and a confused look crosses her face. "What?" she asks, looking between them.

Ali laughs. "It's just that we've known you for like a month and I've never seen you with nail polish on and then you just come in here and start expertly putting it on. It's kinda unexpected," she explains.

Tobin's brow furrows as she looks down and finishes the nails on her right hand. "I wear nail polish sometimes," she mutters.

"Tobs actually has a ton of different colors of nail polish!" Cheney pipes up. "But yeah she hardly ever wears it. She's just one of those people that's good at everything they do," she teases, smiling at Tobin.

"Not true, but I'm not gunna argue with that," she says with a shrug, moving on to the nails on her left hand.

“No, it totally is true. It’s ridiculously annoying,” ARod laughs, as Tobin focuses on her nails.

A little while later, Ashlyn comes in and sits down next to Ali. "Hey princess, lemme see," she says holding out a hand for Ali's and inspecting her blue and white nails. 

"Want us to do yours?" Cheney asks, holding up one of the bottles of nail polish.

Ashlyn laughs and holds up her hands, one of which is still holding Ali's. "Dude, these are gunna be covered with tape and gloves tomorrow so I think I'll pass," she says with a smile. "You ready to go, babe?" she turns her attention back to Ali. Ali nods and allows Ashlyn to help her to her feet.

After Ali and Ashlyn leave, JJ, Alyssa, and Kelley go to bed, so ARod, Cheney, Christen, and Tobin move into the living room. They hang out for a little while longer, chatting about the game the next day, before Cheney and ARod decide to head home as well. “You coming with us, Tobs?” Cheney asks.

“Nah, I’ll just stay here,” Tobin answers lazily.

Cheney and Arod share a look and seem to be communicating something with their eyes. Christen wonders what their deal is, when ARod turns back to Tobin. “Are you sure you don’t wanna just sleep over at our place tonight, Tobs?” she asks.

Tobin yawns and looks between Cheney and ARod, who are both looking back at her expectantly. “I’m sure,” she answers.

“Do you want one of us to stay with you?” Cheney asks.

Tobin shakes her head and leans it back on the couch. “No, it’s okay.”

Cheney looks doubtful but she nods and slips her sneakers on. "Alright just call me and I'll come back if you need me to.” Tobin nods and Cheney and ARod say their goodnights before leaving.

Christen moves to stand up so that she can go to bed as well, but Tobin's voice stops her. "Chris, wait. Can I talk to you?"

Christen sits back down in her chair. "Sure, what's up?" she asks, not really wanting to look Tobin in the eyes.

"You just seemed kinda mad at me today. Are we okay?" Tobin asks.

Christen thinks about her response for a second. There’s really no reason for them not to be okay. Yes, she likes Tobin and it hurt seeing her leave the bar with another girl but they’re just friends and Tobin has every right to be with whoever she wants. She looks at Tobin who’s studying her face with a furrowed brow, before nodding and shooting her a small smile. "Yeah, we're okay," she responds.

Tobin grins and gets up from the couch. "Okay, cool. Come to bed?" she asks, holding a hand out to help Christen up. 

A part of Christen wants to protect herself and say no. Tobin **just** slept with some other girl, so she clearly doesn’t have feelings for Christen. _She just doesn’t want to be alone_ , Christen thinks. She looks up at Tobin, fully planning on declining the offer, but she just looks so incredibly inviting with her tanned skin that's always warm and her bright smile and messy hair and her eyes are wide and hopeful, looking between Christen and her outstretched hand. So, even though Christen knows that she should say no, she can’t turn Tobin down and she finds herself putting her hand in Tobin's. "Yeah, okay," she murmurs, allowing Tobin to lead her down the hall towards her room.

Once in bed, Tobin wiggles closer until she's pressed up against Christen's side. "Missed ya last night," she yawns out.

Christen is quiet for a beat. "Missed you too," she whispers back, hesitantly.

Christen wonders if maybe she should talk to Tobin now. Sleeping in the same bed every night probably isn’t healthy, especially since Christen is developing feelings for Tobin that are clearly unreturned. She may not be able to say no to Tobin, but surely she can talk to her about this like an adult right? She can feel Tobin's grin against her shoulder. "Night Pressy," she murmurs against Christen’s bare shoulder in a way that sends chills down her spine. Christen decides that talking can wait.

 

The next morning Christen slides out of Tobin's arms and sneaks back into her own bed at the crack of dawn, falling back asleep for a couple of hours.

The day passes quickly and soon most of the team is in the locker room. Christen watches curiously as Tobin sits in her locker, headphones over her ears and carefully wraps a strip of tape around her wrist. She pulls out a sharpie and writes something on the tape on the inside of her wrist and closes her eyes, her lips moving. She kisses the tape and gets up, pulling her headphones off. Only a few minutes later, Cheney has music blasting and the team is all dancing around in various states of undress as they suit up for the first game of the season. Christen forgets about the tape and laughs as she watches Tobin eat a PB&J sandwich while attempting something that resembles dancing with ARod. She looks ridiculous, in shorts, a sports bra, and one sock, her jersey over her head but neither arm in it, and she’s cracking up through a mouthful of PB&J at ARod’s dance moves, and her laugh is so contagious that half the team is laughing as well.

The whole team is still bouncing off the walls when Anson comes in yelling. "Ladies! You're a soccer team not a dance team, UCF is out on the field warming up and I'm standing there like an idiot, looking around and asking myself 'Where the hell is my team?' Get your damn cleats on and get on the field! If you want to dance, save it for after you score some goals and win this game! Let's go!" he shouts sternly, but he’s unable to keep a smile off of his face.

The game starts off slow until Tobin gets a shot off in the 19th minute that goes just wide. They don't get another chance until the 22nd minute when Whitney strips a UCF striker of the ball and dribbles it past the midfield before sending it to Cheney. Cheney takes one touch, looks up and spots the keeper off her line, and strikes the ball from almost 30 yards out, clipping the bottom of the crossbar and bouncing into the net. Christen jumps off the bench with the rest of the subs, cheering on their teammates.

In stoppage time at the end of the first half, ARod gets tangled with a defender just outside the UCF box. She goes down hard and immediately clutches at her foot and ankle. The trainers help her to the sideline to assess whether she can go back on and the game continues for a few more seconds before the whistle is blown for the half.

When ARod is unable to bear weight on her right foot, Christen ends up starting the second half. She's trying to shake her nerves as they jog out onto the pitch. "Pressy, don't forget to smile," Tobin says to her, slapping Christen's butt lightly and jogging past her to her spot on the wing, a smile on her face. When the whistle blows to start the second half, Christen forgets her nerves and is completely focused on the game. Kelley subs in for her in the 63rd minute but she's back in by the 75th minute. The game remains 1-0 until the 84th minute when Tobin receives the ball around the midfield. She brings it up the flank past one defender before nutmegging a second defender. Christen knows exactly where Tobin is going to cross the ball and sprints into the 18 as the ball leaves Tobin's foot. She strikes it on a half volley and it sails into the left corner of the net just past the outstretched hand of the keeper. Christen runs and jumps on Tobin as they're surrounded by their celebrating teammates.

The game ends 2-0 and the locker room is a mess of cheering and music and dancing and sweaty bodies and dirty jerseys as the team celebrates their first game and first win and first shut out. Tobin, in her shorts and grass stained jersey, with her socks pushed down around her ankles and her hair in a messy half bun, finds Christen during the celebration. She grabs Christen's arm, tugging to get her attention. Her sweaty baby hairs tickle Christen's cheek as she leans in to talk in her ear. "What'd I tell ya Chris? You and me are goin' all the way, France 2019 and Tokyo 2020, right?" she asks, leaning back with a huge grin on her face. 

Christen can do little more then smile back and nod before Tobin is back to her spot between Cheney and ARod, who is sitting in her locker, her foot up on a chair with a bag of ice around it. Christen realizes that for the first time in a long time she’s not wracked with anxiety and disappointment after playing in a game. Instead of focusing on one hundred things she could have and should have done better, she’s just happy to have won and scored and to be there celebrating with her teammates.

Tobin leaves with Cheney and ARod and Christen heads back to the suite with Alyssa, Kelley, and JJ.

Christen is exhausted when she climbs into bed that night but has a hard time falling asleep. She tells herself that it's just left over adrenaline from scoring in her first college game and tries to ignore any thoughts of Tobin that cross her mind. She briefly considers going and sleeping in Tobin’s bed because she never has trouble sleeping there but decides against it and eventually drifts off.

She wakes up the next morning to a few texts.

 

**Tobs:** ARod broke her foot. 6 weeks in a cast. Sucks

**Tobs:** I can't sleep

**Tobs:** Chens and ARod r wayyy worse cuddlers then u

 

Christen just smiles and shakes her head, ignoring the fluttering in her chest as she gets up to get ready for the day. Maybe she doesn't need to talk about things with Tobin. Maybe she should just follow Tobin's lead and see what happens, she thinks as she pours herself coffee. 

After a day full of recovery, Christen lies in bed and waits for Kelley to fall asleep and then quietly heads into Tobin’s room. Tobin smiles and holds the blankets up for Christen to climb into bed. “I thought Kelley would never fall asleep,” she giggles as she settles into bed next to Tobin. She sets an alarm for early the next morning and rolls on her side to face Tobin. They had been so busy all day that they hadn’t really gotten any time to talk, except for in groups with other teammates. “Are you sad about ARod? How’s she doing?” Christen asks, as she pulls the blankets down to around her waist, already warmed by her close proximity to Tobin.

Tobin yawns before answering. “She’s okay, I guess. It sucks, she was really upset but we prayed about it and she’ll just rehab it and come back even better than before. I didn’t tell her this and you better not either but I’m maybe a little bit excited because now you’ll be our starter and I’ll get to give you all those assists I told you about,” Tobin says with a small smile.

Christen blushes and reaches out to lightly shove Tobin’s shoulder. “I doubt I’ll start. But even if I did what makes you think I need you to assist my goals?” she teases. “You got lucky last game, Heath. That ball wasn’t even that great.”

Tobin gasps dramatically and pushes Christen onto her back, rolling on top of her. She straddles her waist and pins her shoulders down underneath her hands. “Take it back, Press,” she says with a smirk.

Christen is too shocked by the sudden change in body positions to react right away. She gapes up at Tobin with wide eyes.

Tobin bends her arms and slowly leans closer. “I said take it back, Press,” she whispers. The smirk is gone and replaced with an expression that Christen can’t read and is almost intimidated by.

Christen stutters over her words, her eyes on Tobin’s mouth as she bites her bottom lip. “I-I take it back,” she whispers.

Tobin leans even closer, their faces now inches apart. Christen’s eyes widen even more and flicker from Tobin’s mouth up to her eyes which are darker than Christen’s ever seen. Tobin’s gaze is at Christen’s lips and Christen’s tongue darts out to wet them, involuntarily. “Now tell me you want me to assist all your goals,” Tobin whispers, biting her bottom lip again, her eyes still on Christen’s mouth.

Christen’s blinks up at Tobin and watches her release her bottom lip from between her teeth. “I want you-” she starts, but she’s cut off before finishing the statement. She isn’t entirely sure if she leans up or if Tobin leans down, but she thinks maybe it’s both. The kiss doesn’t make her see fireworks and it doesn’t feel like home like in all those sappy books or movies. But it is incredibly hot and it makes her heart race impossibly fast and _yeah, I definitely like girls, and I definitely like Tobin_ , is the one thought that she has, before it feels like her brain short circuits. She is frozen at first but quickly starts kissing Tobin back, parting her lips slightly so Tobin’s tongue can slip between them. Tobin is fast and aggressive and needy in the way she kisses Christen. One of her hands tangles in the hair at the back of Christen’s head, pulling her closer. Christen has one hand on Tobin’s hip and she reaches the other up to Tobin’s face, running her fingers along her angular jawline before letting her hand come to rest at the nape of Tobin’s neck, her fingers toying with Tobin’s hair and the collar of her T-shirt. Tobin lightly sucks Christen’s lower lip and Christen tightens her hand on Tobin’s hip. Tobin reacts by rolling her hips into Christen’s once and begins to kiss her way down Christen’s jaw to her neck. She nips gently at Christen’s neck and rolls her hips once more and Christen suddenly becomes all too aware of what they’re doing. “Tobin,” she starts, moving her hand from the back of Tobin’s neck to her bicep, gently grasping it.

“Mmm?” Tobin hums in response, still expertly kissing her way down Christen’s neck to where it meets her shoulder.

“We should-“ Christen stops to gasp in pleasure as Tobin gently tugs her hair with the hand that was on the back of her head, exposing more of her neck for Tobin to appreciate. Christen tries desperately to regain some self-control before things go too far. She releases her grasp on Tobin’s hip and tries again. “Maybe we shouldn’t-,” she rasps out, not even finishing the thought before Tobin’s mouth halts and she sighs against Christen’s shoulder and rolls to the side onto her back, next to Christen. She runs a hand through her hair before dragging it down her face.

“Fuck,” she breathes out. “I’m sorry, Chris. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

_Crap, she regrets it_ , is the first thought that comes into Christen’s mind as she listens to Tobin’s breathing returning to normal. Her cheeks flush and she has the urge to get up and flee from the room. “No, it’s okay. We both got carried away. Maybe I should sleep in my own bed for a while,” she says quickly, sliding out of the bed before Tobin can even reply. 

“Yeah, okay,” Tobin mutters as Christen gathers her phone and walks to the door, quietly slipping out without daring to look back at Tobin.

Lying in bed, she hears Tobin moving around on the other side of the wall. A few minutes later she hears Tobin’s door open and the door to the suite open and close. _At least I’m not the only one who felt like running away,_ she thinks to herself before closing her eyes in an attempt at falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving for Orlando Thursday and coming home Tuesday morning so I won't be able to update til then, sorry! I'll keep checking my Tumblr so if you have questions or whatever just hit me up there :)  
> Side note- grape vodka is never a good idea and should be avoided at all costs, trust me I know this from personal experience


	11. I'll just try again next week

Surprisingly, things aren’t that awkward between Tobin and Christen the next day, at least on Tobin’s end. It’s frustrating, but it’s so Tobin, the way she can just shrug it off and act like it never happened. Christen, on the other hand, is plagued by thoughts of Tobin’s mouth on her neck, Tobin’s lips on her own, and she can’t look in Tobin’s direction without feeling a blush creep up her neck. She wishes she could be more like Tobin. More chill, or careless, or carefree, or whatever Tobin is.

Later that afternoon when Anson is going over the starting line up, Christen learns that she’ll be starting at striker and Tobin shoots her a huge grin and thumbs up across the locker room. Christen returns the smile and knows that she needs to make sure that the kiss doesn't affect their on field chemistry. If that means pretending it never happened, that's something she thinks she'll need to learn how to do.

 

Christen feels a rush of pregame jitters when they get out to the field and see the big turn out to the game. Classes start the next day so campus is full of students and many of them decide to come out and support the team on the sunny Sunday afternoon. As the team breaks from their huddle and heads out onto the field, Tobin grabs Christen’s arm. “It’s just soccer, Pressy. Don’t forget to have fun,” she says, before releasing her arm and jogging out to her position.

The Tar Heels score early against Charlotte when in the seventh minute Ali Krieger sends a long ball, splitting the defense, that Sydney runs on to and easily slots past the charging keeper. The rest of the first half remains 1-0 thanks to some great saves by Ashlyn. In the 79th minute Tobin receives the ball on the flank, on a throw from Ashlyn, and takes it up the sideline. She picks her head up and Christen makes the run she knows Tobin is looking for. Tobin easily chips the ball over the Charlotte backline and Christen takes a touch to bring it down before striking it into the bottom left corner of the net. UNC scores once more in the 82nd minute when Tobin slots home a penalty kick after a Charlotte handball in the box. 

The locker room is loud and bustling with celebration and Tobin again finds Christen in the middle of it. She wraps her arms around Christen from behind, and leans her lips close to Christen's ear. "France 2019 and Tokyo 2020," she whispers and it sounds like a promise. She leans in again. "Also I told you I'm gunna assist all your goals," she teases, squeezing her tightly, before releasing Christen and retreating to the showers.

 

Later that night after dinner, Christen is writing out a schedule for the next day and making sure she has supplies for all of her classes. Kelley and Tobin wander into the room, clearly bored of whatever loud and ridiculous game they were playing with a mini soccer ball in the living room. Tobin flops onto Christen's bed and Kelley climbs onto her own bed. "Whatcha doing?" Tobin asks, amused by the sight of Christen, sitting on the floor, organizing notebooks and folders.

Christen glances up at Tobin before looking back to where she's trying to decide if she should use her red notebook for math or communications (red feels like a math color, but the red notebook is thicker and she may need to take more notes in her comm class). "I'm getting ready for classes tomorrow," she answers, distractedly.

"Oh shit, that's tomorrow?" Tobin asks with wide eyes, shooting upright in Christen's bed.

Kelley snorts from her own bed. "Dude, where the hell have you been?" 

Tobin groans and throws herself backwards on Christen's bed dramatically. "I don't know. I don't even have textbooks. Or notebooks. Or pens," she mumbles, an arm thrown over her face.

Christen gapes at her from on the floor. "Tobin, we have English tomorrow morning at 9am."

Tobin rolls to her side to face Christen and Kelley, wide eyed. "We do? I have a 9am class? That totally sucks, I shoulda never trusted Cheney with my schedule. It's just syllabus week though. I probably don't even needa show up, right? I'll just try again next week," she shrugs. 

"Tobin, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Kelley laughs.

Christen shakes her head in disbelief and stands up. "Go put shoes on and get your keys and wallet, Tobs. We're going to Target and getting you school supplies." 

Tobin groans and dramatically rolls out of bed, dragging her feet as she leaves the room. Christen pulls on socks and Nikes. "Kell, you coming?"

"Yeah! Let's stop for fro-yo on the way back," Kelley exclaims excitedly, popping off her bed.

Christen regrets inviting Kelley because her and Tobin put together act like a couple of kindergartners. They race from Tobin’s jeep to the door of Target. Kelley shoves Tobin and darts away, almost getting hit by a car, but she gets there first and immediately starts doing a victory dance and teasing Tobin. Tobin shakes her head and declares that Kelley cheated and is disqualified, making her the winner. She looks to Christen for confirmation of this ruling. 

Christen just laughs and gets a cart, and Tobin immediately grabs on to the side, like she had done when they went food shopping together. Christen smiles at the gesture and follows Kelley, who is skipping ahead, looking for the school supplies.

Kelley stops in front of the posters and digs through the poster bin, finding one of a few players from the national team. Tobin stands in the middle in her kit, her hair down and her hands on her hips, a serious look on her face. To her left stand Hope Solo, Carli Lloyd, and Heather O'Reilly and to her right stand Abby Wambach, Megan Rapinoe, and Christie Rampone, all with similar intimidating expressions on their faces. Kelley cracks up and insists that they buy it, throwing it in the cart and teasing Tobin about her ‘tough face,’ before turning to see what else she can find. Christen giggles and joins in a bit on the teasing, but Tobin just shakes her head and looks down and Christen sees that her cheeks are pink. It's the first time she's ever seen Tobin blush and she's surprised and amused and finds it completely endearing.

Down the next aisle, Tobin finds a Nerf basketball hoop that you mount on the back of a door. She grabs it off the shelf and turns to Christen with wide eyes and a huge grin. "We so need this!" she exclaims, tossing it into the cart. Christen rolls her eyes and tries to convince Kelley and Tobin that they only need school supplies and that this is not a shopping trip.

An hour later, they are loading the jeep up with the school supplies that they finally managed to find as well as an assortment of random other items. Kelley had insisted that they buy a blender, a tabletop foosball game, and colorful lights to string around their bathroom mirror. Not to be outdone, Tobin had picked out the basketball hoop, a light up soccer ball (for night games), and a bean bag chair. Christen climbs into the passenger seat and Kelley bounces up and down in the back seat chanting 'fro yo' over and over again.

"Shut up, Kell! I'm never taking the two of you shopping ever again," she says, pretending to be exasperated, when really she's amused by their antics. 

Tobin just laughs and starts up the jeep, driving them to the nearest fro-yo place. Christen gets a small coffee flavored fro yo with a caramel drizzle on top, Kelley gets a little bit of every flavor and a little bit of every topping in a gross combination that she keeps trying to force Tobin and Christen to taste (because every bite is different, she insists), and Tobin skips the fro-yo, filling her cup with just toppings.

Christen goes to bed almost as soon as they get back and sleeps in her own bed that night. The next morning she wakes up early and goes for a run, does some yoga and meditation, showers, gets ready for the day, and has breakfast. She is ready to go by 8:15 for her 9am class with Tobin. She already has mapped out that it's about a 20 minute walk so she decides she better get Tobin up now to make sure she's ready to go by 8:40.

She slips into Tobin's room, not even bothering to knock. Tobin is sprawled out face down on top of her blankets, in sweatpants and a tshirt, with Nike sneakers on her feet. Christen is surprised and confused at the sight and walks around the bed, confirming that Tobin is seriously sleeping like this. She walks closer to the bed and reaches down to brush a few strands of hair away from Tobin's face. She runs her hand down Tobin's arm and leans closer. "Tobs, wake up," she says gently.

Tobin stirs and sleepily blinks up at Christen. "Hi," she whispers groggily.

Christen smiles at Tobin's raspy morning voice. "Hi. You gotta get up and get ready for class. I'll make you coffee." Tobin nods and stretches before rolling over. “Why are you dressed with shoes on?” Christen asks as Tobin yawns and rubs her eyes.

Tobin shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep. I was kicking the ball around with that guy that lives on the first floor but eventually he went to bed and I had to play by myself. I guess I lost track of time and by the time I came up to sleep I guess I was too tired to change,” she laughs, pulling her hair up into a bun with a hair tie off her wrist.

Christen is surprised that she hadn’t woken up the whole team to play at Fetzer like she had done during preseason. Tobin stretches and kicks her shoes off and takes the sweatpants off, revealing a pair of Nike pros. Christen’s eyes widen and Tobin looks up, shooting her a wink before pulling on a pair of soccer shorts that she picks up off the floor and slides her feet back into the sneakers. “Alright, lets go,” she says through a yawn, walking past Christen towards her bedroom door.

“Uh, Tobs. Don’t you need your backpack? Or books or something?” she asks.

Tobin stops and turns on her heel. “Right. Good call, pretty Pressy.” Christen watches in amusement as Tobin grabs her orange backpack, dumping the soccer gear out of it, onto her bed, and shoves random things she pulls from the Target bags into it. Christen highly doubts that Tobin is going to be prepared for her first day of classes with 5 folders, one notebook, a stapler, and a package of highlighters, but she doesn’t say anything and holds in her laughter. She grabs a package of pens out of one of the bags and tucks it into Tobin’s backpack as she walks out of her bedroom.

After the English class with Tobin, Christen grabs some fruit and a cup of coffee in the dining hall before heading to a comm class with JJ. She then heads over to the bookstore and rents a few books that she'll need for her English class before heading to her last class of the day, a math class that she's taking with Alyssa. She has training after that and notes that Cheney, Arod, and Tobin are missing because they have a lab on Monday evenings. She finishes the day with a lift session and dinner with Kelley, before falling asleep as soon as she gets in bed after such a long day.

 

The rest of the week flies by while Christen struggles to adjust to the balance of classes and soccer. She has an easier time pretending that the kiss with Tobin never happened, and sometimes, when she is really busy or distracted, she is almost able to forget it happened completely. She continues the routine of going to wake up Tobin for class, but Tobin is only there one other morning and similar to Monday, is fully dressed like she fell into bed and immediately fell asleep. The other days, Tobin usually shows up to class a few minutes late, her long board under one arm and a smile on her face as she searches the rows for Christen, completely ignoring whatever else is going on when she walks in.

Christen sometimes finds herself watching Tobin during class, instead of paying attention. Tobin never pays attention. She usually watches soccer on mute on her laptop. Christen is particularly intrigued when she realizes that Tobin is watching games that their upcoming opponents Florida Gulf Coast and FAU, played last season and she is taking notes. Christen tries to peek at what she’s writing, but it’s honestly kind of a mess, scribbled in all caps, all over the page, as Tobin apparently ignores the lines on loose leaf paper ( _who does that?_ Christen thinks in dismay). Her notes are mixed with doodles and sketches of formations and it’s fascinating, even if Christen has no idea what any of it means.

 

On Friday, the team flies out to Florida for the Friday night game against Florida Gulf Coast and Sunday game against FAU. Christen sits in the aisle seat, with Alyssa next to her and JJ in the window seat. Her and Alyssa work on a math assignment after settling into their seats but finish it by the time the plane has reached cruising altitude. Alyssa puts in headphones to take a nap and Christen thinks she should do the same but instead finds herself with her planner open trying to schedule her week. She's trying to figure out how long exactly it will take her to write a 6 page English paper when she feels her seat being shaken. She gasps in surprise at first, gripping her arm rests and trying to determine if the plane is about to crash when she hears a familiar laugh from the seat behind her. She narrows her eyes and leans around the aisle to see Tobin with a gleeful expression on her face. Cheney is in the seat next to her and Kelley is in the window seat, both asleep. "Not nice, Tobin," she says, still trying to get her heart rate under control.

Tobin just smiles even wider. "But pretty Pressy, I'm bored and you're talking to yourself so I knew you weren't sleeping," she explains.

"I was not talking to myself."

"Yeah you were," Tobin laughs. "You were like 'okay Christen 3 hours is plenty of time to write this and if you finish early you can get started on the Spanish paper too,'" Tobin says in a mockingly high voice. "It was kinda cute," she finishes with a shrug. 

Christen's cheeks heat up, realizing that she actually was talking to herself, a nervous habit that usually only comes out on the field. She reaches back and slaps Tobin's leg. "Shut up. I do not sound like that," she whispers, glancing around to see if anyone else had heard her self talk.

Tobin just smiles back at her. "I'm bored. Put your planner away and entertain me. I'll make Cheney switch seats with you."

"No," Christen quickly whispers, already flustered by Tobin’s teasing. She regrets it when she sees Tobin's smile falter a bit. She quickly tries to recover and bring the grin back to Tobin's face. "Don't wake her up. Just sit here," she says, gesturing to the empty seat across the aisle from her.

Tobin leans forward to look and wrinkles her nose at Christen. "Next to a stranger?" she whispers.

Christen rolls her eyes and sticks her planner in the seat back pocket. She undoes her seat belt and crosses the aisle, sitting in the empty seat. The man in the middle seat is sleeping with an eye mask and headphones on and doesn't move a muscle when she sits down. Tobin grins and sits down in the seat vacated by Christen. She leans across the aisle towards Christen. "Thanks Pressy. Whatcha wanna do?" she asks excitedly. 

"I don't know, you were the one who was bored. What do you wanna do?"

"Wellll," Tobin draws out. "You could talk to me instead of yourself? I'm probably not as smart or neurotic but I'm definitely cooler and you'll get a lot less weird looks if you talk to me instead."

"I am not neurotic," Christen responds seriously.

Tobin laughs. "Yes, you are, but it's okay pretty Pressy. You're like cute neurotic. Like a nervous puppy that hides under furniture and pees when people talk to it."

Christen gapes at Tobin. "Oh my god. You're ridiculous. I don't know why I gave up my seat to you," she whispers fiercely, trying not to raise her voice.

Tobin laughs and raises her hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'm just playing with ya. You're way cuter than a puppy, don't worry."

Christen's face is hot as she shakes her head at Tobin before looking away. "Thanks I guess," she says, tracing her finger over the 23 on the leg of her warm up sweatpants. She doesn’t really get Tobin and she hates how flustered she makes her. It kind of makes her head spin how sometimes Tobin could be so sweet, so endearing, and other times she’s cocky and teasing or careless and disinterested.

Tobin must really feel bad because she flips her armrest up and twists in her seat, swinging her legs out into the aisle. She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees and captures Christen's hand in her own before she's able to trace over the 23 again. Christen looks over at Tobin who looks back at her with an earnest expression. "Chris, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. You're not neurotic. You're perfect, okay? I'll make sure you get a goal tonight to make up for it. Sound good?" she says sincerely.

Christen takes a second to process Tobin's apology, which immediately sends her mind racing. _Wait, did she just call me perfect_ , she thinks, before realizing that Tobin is looking at her, expectantly. She opens her mouth to say something, _say anything_ , she tells herself, but before she can, someone appears at Tobin's side and nudges her legs with their leg.

Christen and Tobin both look up, and Cheney is standing there, looking at their joined hands with raised eyebrows. Tobin follows Cheney's gaze to where she still has Christen's hand clasped between her own and quickly drops it, pulling her hands back into her lap. "What are you guys doing?" Cheney asks suspiciously, studying the side of Tobin's face. 

Christen looks over at Tobin who is looking down at her hands, and takes in her red cheeks and ears. Tobin makes no move to answer or even look up at Cheney so Christen decides to answer for her. "Nothing. Tobin was just apologizing to me because she called me neurotic," Christen explains. 

Cheney gently tugs Tobin's ponytail. "Tobs, be nice to Christen. And move your legs, I have to pee."

Tobin swings her legs back into the seat wordlessly, and waits for Cheney to pass. "C'mon, sit in my seat and I'll sit in Cheney's," she says to Christen, moving back a row and sitting in Cheney's seat. Christen doesn't know why, but she obliges, sitting in Tobin's original seat. Tobin reaches past Christen's legs and tugs her orange backpack out from under the seat. She opens it up and digs around pulling out what looks like a deck of cards.

"Monopoly deal," she says, showing Christen the box. "Wanna play?"

"I don't know how," Christen answers.

Tobin's eyes go wide and she flips the tray tables down. She spends the rest of the short flight teaching Christen how to play and beating her in every game.

Once they land in Florida and gather their luggage, the team piles onto a coach bus and heads to the hotel to check in and eat a catered meal, before they leave for the game. They get their room assignments and Christen is assigned to room with Whitney.

 

A few hours later the team is hanging out in an empty gym, trying to wait out a weather delay due to lightning. A few players are sitting on the bleachers, a few are playing basketball, a few are having a dance party, and Christen is playing soccer tennis with Kelley, and Tobin, against Emily, Morgan, and JJ. Her team had just won when one of the assistant coaches comes in to announce that the game is cancelled. There is a chorus of groans and Tobin kicks the ball at her feet hard into a wall, her fists and jaw clenched. Christen and a few other players look to Tobin in surprise but most of the team is already filing out of the gym to go back to the locker room. Cheney walks over and grabs Tobin's arm, holding her back as the team walks out of the gym. They come into the locker room a few minutes later, Tobin scowling from her spot under Cheney's arm. She rips the tape that she applies before every game off her wrist, balling it up and throwing it away. Everyone changes back into sweats and heads back out onto the bus to go to the hotel.

When the team gets back, some head to each other’s rooms to hang out but Christen goes back to her own room to work on homework. She is in bed, about to give up on her English paper, when Whitney comes back into the room. "Do you care if a couple people come and watch a movie?" she asks. 

Christen saves her paper and shuts her laptop. "Nope, what are we watching?" she asks, climbing out of bed to put her laptop on the desk. 

Whitney holds up two DVDs. "A scary one. Insidious or Sinister. Any preference?" she asks.

Christen shakes her head. "Nah, I don't care," she says, climbing back into her bed. She texts the roommate group chat inviting them, but JJ is going to call her boyfriend, Alyssa is tired, and Kelley is 'super invested' in a board game with Ali, Ashlyn, and Crystal. A few minutes later, Cheney comes into the room with Tobin trailing behind her. Cheney sits on Whitney's bed with her and Tobin looks around for a minute before her eyes land on Christen. She smiles her megawatt smile and flops down on Christen's bed. "Pretty Pressy! I didn't know you would be here," she says delightedly while climbing under the covers next to Christen. "Cheney, you didn't tell me my roommate was gunna be here."

"Can you please just call her Chris, or Christen, or even Press like a normal person," Cheney laughs. Kling and Lindsey come in a few minutes later and Kling weasels her way into bed with Whit and Cheney, while Lindsey settles for the floor between the two beds. Whitney puts Insidious on and turns off the lights. About 20 minutes into the movie, Tobin wiggles a little closer to Christen. "This is scary," she whispers. Christen simply nods, keeping her eyes on the screen. A few minutes later is the first big jump scare of the movie and Tobin shrieks, her hands flying up to cover her eyes. 

Cheney laughs from the other bed, "Tobs, don't be such a baby!"

"I'm not. You know I hate movies like this," Tobin whines, her hands over her face, as the rest of the room laughs at her reaction. Another 20 minutes go by and Tobin has wiggled even closer to Christen until their shoulders are touching. Christen hears her breathing heavier than normal and looks over to see that she's watching between her fingers, as she still has her hands over her face.

"Are you really that scared?" she whispers. She finds herself surprised that carefree, always chill Tobin is terrified of scary movies.

Tobin doesn't answer but instead takes a hand off of her face and finds Christen's hand, pulling at it and laying it flat on her chest, just above the swell of her breast. Christen is confused at first and her mouth goes dry. She can feel the heat of Tobin's skin through her t-shirt, her pinky resting on the edge of Tobin's sports bra. Then she realizes that Tobin's heart is racing and that's why Tobin has placed her hand there. For some reason, this realization tugs at something in her chest and she takes pity on the scared midfielder next to her. "It's okay Tobs. It's just a movie. I've seen it before and I'll tell you when to close your eyes okay?" she whispers, taking her hand gently off Tobin's chest. Tobin nods and seeks out Christen's hand again, this time just holding it with her own. Christen rubs soothing circles on the back of Tobin's hand with her thumb and Tobin lays her head on Christen's shoulder.

They watch the rest of the movie like this. Christen tries to remember all the scary parts and tells Tobin when to close her eyes, and Tobin spends most of the movie hiding her face in Christen's shoulder and squeezing her hand. When the movie ends Christen quickly detaches herself from Tobin and gets up to get a bottle of water out of the mini fridge, before Whitney can get the lights back on and everyone could see how close her and Tobin had been. Everyone says their goodnights and filters out of the room while Christen and Whitney get ready for bed. 

The next day, the team is kept busy with a meeting, practice, and a study hall. Finally, on Sunday they have their game against Florida Atlantic University. It's raining and the field is muddy but they are going to play anyway, much to Tobin's delight. "I love playing in this kinda weather," she says, clapping her hands together and staring out the door of the field house, while they wait for the rest of the team to go out onto the field.

They score first, in the 16th minute when Lindsey is able to get a head on a set piece sent in by Cheney. Only 10 minutes later FAU equalizes, after a particularly fast striker gets past the defense and beats Ashlyn in a one on one. The game remains even and in the 87th minute a lightning warning forces a weather delay. The team hangs out in the locker room, having an impromptu dance party to keep their muscles warm and trying to get pumped up to get the win.

After 40 minutes, they head back out onto the pitch. As soon as the game resumes Tobin gets the ball and takes it up the flank, beating 2 defenders. She crosses it to Cheney at the top of the 18. Cheney's shot is deflected by the keeper and Christen quickly sprints past her defender, tapping the ball into the corner. Their celebrations are short-lived when FAU equalizes less than a minute later with a long ball that sails just over Ashlyn's hand into the upper 90.

They head into overtime and Christen spends almost the entirety of the first 10 minute over time period on the bench. She subs back in at the start of the second period. Two minutes later she receives a pass from Tobin right inside the 18. She cuts the ball back to lose her defender and sends a curling shot into the side netting to end the game. She runs to Tobin and jumps on her before they are tackled into the mud by their teammates.

As usual, Tobin finds her during the locker room celebration, wrapping her up in a sweaty and muddy hug and talking quietly in her ear. "Guess we're making a habit of this, huh pretty Pressy? You having fun yet?"

Christen just squeezes Tobin and nods. A few hours later she's looking out the plane window at tiny twinkling lights below, with Kelley asleep to her left, when the weight of Tobin's words dawns on her. She realizes that she is having fun. Soccer is becoming fun for her again and not agonizing. She tries to think of the last time she cried after a game or practice and she isn't sure when it was. Of course, she still scolds herself on the field and replays the games and practices in her mind when she lays in bed at night, thinking about how she can improve, but her mistakes don't hold the same weight anymore. She doesn't feel like it's the end of the world, the end of her dream, when she misses the net or has a bad touch. Instead she reminds herself that for every miss or bad touch she'll score a goal and take 10 good touches. 'You just need to fall back in love with the game,' she remembers Tobin telling her. _And maybe that's exactly what I'm doing_ , she thinks to herself before leaning her head back against the headrest and closing her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Superrrrr tired so I didn't really do much editing but I wanted to get this posted tonight instead of waiting til tomorrow!


	12. Winner gets window seat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long update because I struggled with this chapter at first but then once I started writing I got a little carried away lol

Monday morning is rough. Christen is exhausted and Tobin straight up refuses to get out of bed. "I'm not going to class. I'm too tired and my legs hurt," she grumbles into her pillow.

Christen has been up and ready for a while and is on her second cup of coffee, but she is still tired and her patience is thin. "Tobin Heath. Seriously, get up. We're gunna be late to class. If you don't get out of bed in the next 10 seconds I'm calling Lauren and Amy," she says sternly.

"Fine, call them. They'll say leave Tobin alone, she's tired," Tobin whines.

"You know that's not what they'd say. Come on, Tobin. Seriously, let's go. I really don't wanna be late. What do I have to do to get you out of bed?" she asks, frustrated with Tobin's antics.

Tobin lifts her head and peeks at Christen with one eye. "Depends. What are you willing to do?" she asks, a hint of a smile playing at her lips.

Christen rolls her eyes, "whatever you want. Just get up and get dressed in the next 5 minutes or else I’m leaving without you. 

Tobin slowly sits up in bed letting out a little sigh as she stretches. "I'll have to get back to you about what I want because I’m too tired to think right now but I'm holding you to that pretty Pressy," she says, yawning and getting out of bed to dig through her dresser for clothes. 

"Whatever, just meet me by the door. I'll even put coffee in a travel mug for you," she says, walking out of Tobin's bedroom.

 

The team does their best to train, rest, and get ahead on schoolwork before their away trip to California that weekend to play UCLA and USC. Tobin is not in her bed any other morning but she’s particularly energetic the rest of the week. On anyone else it would seem like nervous energy with the way she can’t sit still and is constantly fidgeting, but for some reason on Tobin, it still somehow seems laid back. By Thursday, she is practically giddy with excitement about playing at UCLA and seeing her friends. To be honest, although she’s doing a better job than Tobin at hiding it, Christen is ridiculously excited for the trip as well. Her parents will be attending both games and had offered up their home to the team to hang out and have a barbeque on their day off between the two games. Christen also has plans to get dinner with her parents and sisters after the game on Friday, and had invited Kelley, Alyssa, and Julie at her mom’s insistence. She had suggested that Christen invite Tobin as well but Tobin is hardly around the suite all week and Christen is sure she has plans with her UCLA friends, so she just brushes off her mom’s nagging.

At the airport on Thursday, Christen sits with Ali, waiting to board, and they laugh as Kelley, Tobin, and Ashlyn are scolded by airport staff for starting a highly competitive soccer game with a balled up paper bag. "They're like children," Ali giggles as Ashlyn comes bounding over and swoops in for a kiss before plopping down on Ali's other side. Christen watches with a smile, looking up at Tobin and Kelley as they walk over bickering.

"No way. I won and Ash automatically gets the win cuz she was keeper. The last goal you scored doesn't count KO. I was distracted by that crazy lady coming over to yell at us," Tobin says, shaking her head at Kelley.

"Right, next time we get scored on in a game just tell the ref that you were distracted and see how that goes over," Kelley argues back passionately.

Tobin just laughs. "KO. There are 2 rules in airport soccer. And one of them is that the game has to stop if coach or airport workers are looking. And that lady was definitely looking," Tobin explains, gesturing to where the gate attendant is still watching them through narrowed eyes. "You can't get mad at me for winning. I don't make the rules," she finishes with a shrug as she sprawls out on the floor by Christen's feet. 

"Then who makes them?!" Kelley asks, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

Tobin shrugs, "I dunno. I guess HAO, she's the one who taught me." 

Christen cringes internally as Tobin lies back on the dirty airport floor, sticking her backpack under her head as a pillow. "Tobs, what's the other?" she asks.

"Hmm?" Tobin hums with a furrowed brow, lifting her head to look at Christen.

"You said there's two rules. What's the other?" she clarifies.

Tobin let's out a small chuckle, dropping her head back down to her bag. "Winner gets window seat," she tells the ceiling with a smile.

"Ya hear that princess? Looks like I get window and you get middle seat," Ashlyn quips, poking Ali in the side. 

"No, I'll sit in the aisle seat," Ali says flatly, pushing Ashlyn's hand away.

"Wait, but then someone will be in between us," Ashlyn says, with a furrowed brow.

"Exactly," replies Ali, a smug grin on her face.

Ashlyn gapes at Ali for a second before shaking her head and smiling. "Fine. You can have the window seat," she concedes.

Christen is one of the last on the team to board the plane after waiting for her Starbucks. She's resigned to the fact that she's probably gunna be stuck in a middle seat somewhere in the back of the plane, so she's pleasantly surprised when Tobin waves at her from one of the first few rows. "Chris, I saved you a seat," she says from the middle seat, moving her backpack off of the window seat and on to the floor. Christen slides past Becky, who's in the aisle seat and steps gingerly over Tobin's legs, sitting down in the window seat.

"Why'd you save me a seat? And why are you in the middle?" she asks Tobin after getting situated.

Tobin smiles at her. "Because, I wanted to sit next to you and I know you like the window seat," she answers simply.

Christen tries not to read too much into the sweet gesture. "Yeah, but you won the game before and I know you like the window seat too."

"I like you more than I like the window seat," Tobin shrugs, paging through the magazine from the seat back pocket.

Christen's heart rate speeds up and she smiles dumbly at Tobin, who seems oblivious. "Thanks Tobs," she says genuinely.

Tobin just bobs her head, apparently fascinated by the 'things to do in Albuquerque' article that she's staring at. Christen takes out her notebook and starts finishing up a math assignment while the plane taxis to the runway. Tobin follows her lead and takes out a notebook of her own, asking to borrow a pen of course. Their elbows keep bumping as Christen writes with her right hand and Tobin with her left. Christen finishes her assignment a few minutes after the plane takes off and peeks over at what Tobin is working on. "Is that French?" she asks, looking closer at Tobin's notebook.

Tobin nods, and finishes writing before she looks up at Christen. "Why do you sound so surprised?" she asks, a hint of a smiling playing on her lips.

"I don't know," she admits. "I just didn't realize you spoke French. 

"Not well, but I'm learning. Do you speak French?"

"No, Spanish," Christen answers. "What made you take French?"

Tobin laughs and leans closer, mischief in her eyes. "I dated a French girl. But all I learned from her was 'oui! oui! oui!'," she says, winking at Christen.

Christen rolls her eyes, "hilarious, Tobs."

Tobin laughs again and leans back in her seat. "No, but seriously you know I almost signed with PSG out of high school right?"

Christen's jaw drops a little. _How did I not know this?_ she wonders. "Uh, no, I didn't know that," she stutters.

Tobin just nods. "Yupp, I knew UCLA and a couple other schools wanted me when I was in high school but then PSG offered me a contract. I was seriously considering it and I went and trained with them for a few weeks. It was kinda weird because you’re not allowed to talk to an agent or play with a professional team without affecting your college eligibility. There’s loopholes I guess so I was able to go to France and train but I had to handle everything myself instead of going through an agent. It was really confusing but ARod is crazy smart so she helped me to make sure I did the right things and didn’t lose my college eligibility. So I was thinking of going to France and then I was contacted by an NWSL team in Portland, and they wanted to draft me out of high school. And without an agent I didn’t really have anyone to help me figure it out and I had no idea what to do. Cheney and ARod probably wanted to kill me because I was calling them like every day trying to figure it all out. It was a tough decision between the 3, and the PSG offer was almost too good to turn down. But, my mom had always wanted me to go to college so I knew that was the right thing to do. She always talked about UNC because when I was little that’s where I wanted to go, mostly because of Mia Hamm. But the offers and deadlines and scholarships were all so confusing and I didn’t think the UNC offer was set in stone so I ended up committing to UCLA instead. Anyway, I picked up a little French while I was in Paris so I figured I would take it as my foreign language requirement," Tobin explains, doodling little swirls and squiggles on the corner of her notebook.

"Wow. I had no idea," Christen says in awe, not only of Tobin’s story but also of the fact that this is probably the most personal information that she has ever shared with her. She can't help but wonder what else she doesn't know about the midfielder. "Tell me about it?" she asks, watching Tobin doodle. 

Tobin glances up at her, "about what?"

"About Paris and PSG?"

Tobin nods and starts telling Christen all about her time in France. The conversation flows easily and they spend the entire flight talking. The time passes quickly and Christen is surprised when they begin their descent into LAX. Tobin again becomes restless and fidgety, her knee bouncing up and down as she tries to peer around Christen and look out the window.

At the hotel, Christen is assigned to room with Tobin who grins widely and grabs her hand, pulling her toward the elevators. They drop their stuff in the room before going back downstairs, where the team has a meeting room reserved, to eat a catered dinner. Once they are back in the room, Tobin can't stop moving and she keeps looking at phone. Christen watches in amusement from her bed. "Tobs, what's going on? Why are you staring at your phone?"

Tobin looks up and grins, before leaning close to Christen. "I'm sneaking my friends in. You can't tell coach, okay?" she mock whispers.

"Wait, what? What friends? And you're sneaking them into our room? For what?" Christen sits up straighter in her bed, suddenly anxious.

Tobin laughs and nods. "Alex and Allie. And just to hang for a little, I missed them."

Christen nods and wonders if she should go hang out in Kelley's room and give Tobin some space. Tobin must read her mind because she falls onto her back on her bed, nearest to the window, and turns her head to look at Christen on her own bed. "I want them to meet you. Don't worry, they'll love you," she says smiling.

"Why do you want them to meet me?" Christen asks, confused.

Tobin rolls onto her stomach and puts her hand under her chin, holding her head up. "Because they're my best friends from UCLA and you're one of my best friends at UNC," she says simply.

Christen's throat goes dry and she can do nothing but grin stupidly in Tobin's direction. She slides off the end of her bed to grab a water bottle from the mini fridge when there's a knock on the door. She goes and opens it to reveal the pretty brunette from Tobin's Instagram. The girl looks at Christen with a furrowed brow before looking at the door then down at her phone. "Um, sorry I might have the wrong room, I'm looking for Tobin," she says in surprisingly raspy voice.

"Baby horse?!" Tobin yells from inside the room.

The girl's face lights up in a smile and she pushes past Christen into the room. "TOBY!" she shrieks, flinging herself at Tobin, who has gotten up from the bed and started to walk towards the door. She stumbles backwards at the contact before quickly wrapping her arms under the girl's legs, holding her up.

"My favorite striker in the whole wide world," Tobin laughs as the brunette clings to her. 

Christen's heart drops at the statement and she can't help the twinge of hurt and jealousy she feels.  She awkwardly stands there, watching the reunion.

Tobin finally lowers the other girl to the ground, keeping an arm loosely around her shoulders. "Chris, this is Alex Morgan, my best friend. And Alex, this is Christen Press, she's my roommate and teammate and friend," Tobin introduces the two.

Christen forces a smile, hoping the jealousy isn't visible on her face. Alex smiles back at her and Christen thinks that the pictures don't do her justice because she's even more stunning in person and her jealousy grows even more. “Hi, Christen! Sorry to push past you like that, I just missed this dork! Tobito burrito here talks about you all the time so I’m glad we’re getting to hang out,” Alex says with a smile. Before Christen can process her words or respond, there's another knock on the door and Christen turns and opens it again, this time revealing the tall blonde that she recognizes as Allie.

"Christen! Hi! It's good to finally meet you in person. Harry has told me so much about you,” she gushes, pulling Christen into a hug before walking into the room.

"HARRY!" Tobin yells, jumping onto Allie. Christen awkwardly shuffles back into the room and sits back onto her bed, picking up her phone in an attempt to look busy, while she wonders what Tobin has told her friends about her. She watches Tobin drop back to the floor and climb onto her bed, pulling Alex with her so they're sitting side by side against the headboard. Allie sits cross-legged on the foot of the bed and pats the spot next to her.

"Christen, come sit with us!" she says, smiling over at Christen. "You can fill us in on all the embarrassing things Harry has done that we missed out on!"

Christen looks to Tobin, who smiles and nods. "Christen doesn't have any embarrassing stories about me. She's actually nice to me unlike you two," Tobin teases as Christen climbs onto the bed and sits next to Allie.

"Oh come on Toby, you miss us, admit it," Alex says, tickling Tobin's sides. Tobin squirms and starts laughing, trying to grab Alex's hands and tickle her back at the same time. Allie rolls her eyes at the two and turns to Christen.

"So you really have like no embarrassing stories for us? That's disappointing," she says, smiling warmly at Christen. 

Christen smiles back, "hmm, I'm sure I can think of something." She tries to come up with a story for them but it seems like she's always the one getting flustered and embarrassed, while Tobin is perpetually chill. Tobin watches her think with an amused smile on her face, waiting to see what Christen will come up with. "Oh! I wasn't there, but Tobin did throw up in church after the first week of preseason," Christen recalls.

Allie leans forward and slaps Tobin's leg, laughing. "Harry! In church? Really?" 

Tobin puts her hands up in surrender. "Okay, first of all it was not IN church. It was in the bushes right outside of church. And I had crushed a keg stand competition the night before," Tobin defends herself, laughing.

Allie, Alex, and Tobin recount funny stories of things they did at UCLA while Christen fills them in on things Tobin had done at UNC. She tells about Tobin figuring out the lighting system at Fetzer for late night pick up games and shows them a funny video of Kelley jumping out of a garbage can and scaring Tobin in the locker room. They continue laughing and talking for a while before Tobin yawns. "Tired, Toby?" Alex asks.

Tobin nods and yawns again. Allie climbs off the bed and pulls Tobin into a hug. "Alright, Harry we'll let you get some sleep. See you tomorrow, love ya, mean it," she says to Tobin, before turning to hug Christen. 

Alex climbs over Tobin to get off the bed, first crushing her into a hug. Tobin hugs her back, laughing. "Okay, okay, baby horse get off, you’re smothering me!" 

Alex leans back and pinches Tobin's cheeks. "Whatever, you love it," she says, climbing off of Tobin. She hugs Christen as well and her and Allie leave together. Tobin goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed and when she comes out Christen goes in. 

When Christen comes out, Tobin has changed for bed and she's sitting on her bed, her back against the headboard, with glasses on, reading her bible. It's a look that Christen has never seen before and she knows she's staring, but she's having a hard time dragging her eyes away. "I didn't know you wear glasses," she says, her voice sounding oddly strangled.

Tobin looks up and grins at her. "Yeah, before the Olympics we went through all these tests from Nike and turns out I have some issues, so I got glasses. I have contacts too. But I usually forget both anyway," she shrugs. "Do they make me look smart?" she asks closing the bible and putting it on the night table. She stands and strikes a pose as if modeling.

Christen's mouth goes dry as she takes in Tobin in her glasses, her hair in a bun, wearing shorts and t shirt, clearly without a bra underneath. She forces her eyes up to Tobin's face and Tobin is smirking at her. Christen just nods and turns away to hide her red cheeks, pulling back the blankets on her bed. She sets an alarm on her phone and puts it on the night table. Tobin takes off her glasses, resting them atop her bible and climbs into bed herself, turning off the light. "Night pretty Pressy," she says. 

"Night Tobs," Christen whispers into the dark room.

Christen wakes up confused as she feels her blankets being pulled back. She rolls over to see Tobin, just her silhouette illuminated by the light from the parking lot, filtering in through the curtains on the window behind her. "Hi," Tobin whispers, standing next to Christen's bed.

"Hi? What are you doing? What time is it?" Christen whispers, confused.

"Can I sleep in bed with you?" Tobin asks, ignoring her questions. "My bed is cold and uncomfortable and I had a bad dream and you looked cozy over here." 

Christen tries to shake the sleep from her brain and figure out if this is a dream or not. Tobin apparently takes her silence as a yes, because she climbs into bed next to Christen and pulls the covers up to her chin. 

Christen turns on her side to face Tobin, who already has her eyes closed. "What was your dream?" she asks softly, studying the midfielder's face. 

"Hmm?" Tobin hums, not opening her eyes.

"Your dream. You said you had a bad dream."

Tobin shrugs and yawns. "I don't remember," she whispers, sleepily. Christen rolls over onto her back and closes her eyes to try to fall back asleep. Tobin wiggles her way closer until there's only inches of space between them. "I was right," she whispers, so low that Christen barely hears.

"What?" Christen asks with a furrowed brow, opening her eyes and turning her head to look at Tobin.

Tobin smiles, her eyes still closed. "You are cozy," she whispers.

Christen doesn't know what to say to that so she doesn't answer. After a few minutes, Tobin's breathing slows and Christen can tell she's asleep. She lies awake for what feels like hours, her mind unable to settle back down. She must fall asleep eventually because the next time she opens her eyes, the morning sunlight is filtering in through the curtains and Tobin is gone. 

Christen wonders if she dreamt the whole thing as she gets up to get ready for the day. She gets dressed and puts her freshly straightened hair into a ponytail, wondering what she should do for the half hour until she needs to be downstairs to meet with the team. She is about to get out her laptop and start an online Spanish quiz when Tobin returns to the room. "Brought you coffee," she smiles, holding a coffee cup out to Christen.

Christen takes the cup, breathing in the aroma before taking a small sip to test the temperature. "Thanks Tobin, you didn't have to do that. Is that where you went this morning? You were up early." 

Tobin flops down on Christen's bed. "Yupp, I went to grab coffee with Alex and Allie. I would have invited you but then they’ll start liking you more than me and then you’ll like them more than me and I’ll have no friends left, so I’m just gunna keep you all to myself," she teases, scooting back against the headboard. “Plus you were out cold and I didn’t wanna wake you so I just snuck out to meet up with them.”

Christen nods, sipping the coffee and sitting down next to Tobin on the bed. "Why do you call them baby horse and Harry?"

Tobin grins, “Allie and I just call each other Harry, I don’t really know why, it just stuck. And you’ll see why I nicknamed Alex baby horse when you see her run today.” 

“Is it gunna be weird to play against UCLA today?" 

Tobin thinks for a moment before answering. "I dunno. I don't think so. Maybe a little weird, but it's just soccer. I don't really care who I'm playing against as long as I'm playing," she says honestly.

Christen hides her smile with her coffee cup thinking to herself that it's such a Tobin answer. "Won't it be weird to play against your ex though?"

Tobin looks at her with a furrowed brow. "My ex?"

"Yeah, remember at the party you said you had made out with a UCLA teammate?" Christen mumbles into her coffee, embarrassed for even asking Tobin this.

Tobin starts laughing and Christen feels herself getting even more embarrassed. "Sorry," Tobin laughs out. "It's just that she's not my ex. It was Alex and it wasn't a big deal. We got super drunk one time and she was saying that she'd never kissed a girl so we made out. We couldn’t stop laughing about it after and it was definitely a one-time thing. I just didn't want to tell the team because everyone would make a big deal out of it when it was just a stupid drunken idea. No one knows except Allie and Alex. And now you too, I guess," she explains, still laughing.

"Oh," Christen squeaks out, sipping her coffee. 

Tobin's smile falters and her eyebrows knit together slightly. "I think a lot of straight girls want to like, experiment or whatever, at least once or twice in college. And I don't know why but a lot of them seem to want to do that with me," she says thoughtfully. She's quiet for a moment before she looks over at Christen and grins. "I guess I shouldn't complain because I don't really mind that. Plus, it's partly my fault. I clearly have a terrible habit of crushing on straight girls," she says with a wink before rolling off the bed.

Christen is confused by Tobin's statement and the tone she said it in, but doesn't want to embarrass herself even more, so she doesn't dare to ask questions. Instead she gets up and starts putting her shoes on to head down to the lobby for breakfast.

 

Christen spots her parents and sisters in the crowd during warm ups. She points them out to Kelley, who waves wildly. She had texted her parents as soon as coach told them the line up and she found out she was starting. She is excited that they will be there to see her start, as a freshman, for one of the most prestigious soccer programs in the country, but seeing them there in the crowd causes a wave of anxiety to wash over her.

As the team walks back to the locker room, Christen does her best not to panic. It's stupid really, she thinks, the fact that she's holding back tears about the possibility of disappointing her family when the game hasn't even started yet. She's about to follow Kelley into the locker room when a hand grabs her wrist and tugs her to the side.

Christen is startled and spins to the side to see who had grabbed her. She's even more surprised to see Tobin looking back at her, a concerned expression on her face. "Tobin, what are you doing? We need to go in the locker room," she says quickly.

Tobin shakes her head. "What's going on? Are you nervous?"

Christen's eyes widen. _Am I really that obvious?_ she wonders.

When Christen doesn't answer right away, Tobin reaches her hand out and puts it on her shoulder. "Chris? Are you okay?" she asks, quietly.

Christen nods. "Yeah, I'm nervous. My parents are here and this is such a huge game for us and I just don't wanna let them down or let the team down," she blurts out in one breath.

Tobin’s worried expression softens into a small smile. "Hey, you're not gunna let anyone down, Chris. You're a superstar and I'm gunna get you some goals today. It's just soccer. Don't worry about who's watching or who the other team is. Pretend it’s a pick up game at Fetzer in the middle of the night, with no one watching. We're just gunna go out there and play soccer, okay?" 

Christen has heard it all before from her parents, or teammates, or coaches, or even herself. She knows that it's just a game and that she should just play her game and not worry about anything else. These reminders and reassurances have never been effective for Christen before. She would listen and nod and go right on worrying. However, Tobin is rubbing her hand lightly over Christen's shoulder, and her big, brown eyes are looking right into Christen's and she's got this easy smile on her face and it's all so reassuring, that Christen wonders how she could have ever thought of Tobin as careless.

So, Christen finds herself nodding and smiling back at Tobin and is surprised at the tension leaving her body as Tobin grins at her, her hand still on Christen’s shoulder. She squeezes her shoulder gently and runs her hand down Christen’s arm. She grabs Christen’s hand and turns towards the locker room, tugging Christen along with her. “Come on,” she says over her shoulder. “Let’s get ready so I can get you those goals.”

Christen remains rooted to the spot and tugs back on Tobin’s hand. Tobin turns back to her and studies her face with a furrowed brow. After a few seconds of silence, she squeezes her hand. “Chris, what? Are you still nervous?” she asks, concerned.

Christen shakes her head and uses every ounce of courage that she has, pulling Tobin into a tight hug. “Thank you,” she mumbles into Tobin’s shoulder before pulling away.

Tobin beams back at her. “You don’t have to thank me, pretty Pressy. I’m just trying to fix this pregame nerves problem now so we don’t have to worry about it in France or Tokyo,” she says with a wink, before turning and pushing through the door into the locker room. Christen finds herself grinning so wide that it hurts before she shakes her head and follows Tobin.

 

The game is a hard fought defensive battle. They are awarded a penalty kick after Crystal is taken down hard in the box in the 27th minute. Christen doesn’t know how it happens, but she finds herself being pushed to the spot to take the kick. She turns to see Tobin behind her, grinning. “Anson wants you to take it. You got this, Chris. I’ve seen you bury a million PKs,” she says, as the ref awards the UCLA player a yellow card.

Christen shakes her head, her eyes wide in panic. “No, are you kidding me? I shouldn’t take it. I’ll miss! You take it, or Cheney, or someone else. Why does he want me to take it?” she franticly blurts out. 

“Because, he knows you can score and I know you can score. It’s just soccer Chris, just like a random pick up game in the middle of the night at Fetzer. Just block everything else out and put the ball in the net,” she reassures, pushing Christen towards the spot.

Christen walks up and adjusts the ball slightly, focusing on her breathing as she takes a few steps back. _It’s just soccer,_ she tells herself. _It’s just you and the ball and the net and the keeper and you’ve done this a million times and you know where to put the ball and how much pace to put on it to make it really hard for the keeper to save._ She glances up at the keeper, who’s jumping up and down on the line, waving her arms in the air. She feels as if time has slowed down and all she can hear is her own heartbeat as she eyes the net with laser focus. _Left or right?_ Christen asks herself, trying to decide if the keeper is going to guess, and if so, which way she’s going to dive. Then, the ref blows the whistle and she makes the split second decision, trusting her gut. She goes right. The keeper doesn’t guess, she reacts and she dives to the right. But, she’s just a second too late and the ball hits the back of the net before her hands are able to punch it away. 

All the sounds from the stands come rushing over Christen as she watches the ball strike the back of the net. And admittedly, it’s not that loud. They’re in California and most of the spectators are there supporting UCLA, but Christen feels like there are a million people cheering and they’re cheering for _her_ and she breaks into a huge smile. A pair of arms wrap around her waist and Cheney is spinning her around and the rest of the team is not fair behind, joining the hug and patting her on the head and all talking at once and Christen has no idea what anyone’s saying, but she scored and that’s what matters so she smiles and nods and hugs her teammates back.

They’re jogging back as a group when Christen feels a tug on the back of her jersey. She turns and Tobin is there, beaming at her. “I told you Pressy. Just soccer,” she says with a wink, before jogging off to her spot on the flank.

It turns out that Alex Morgan is fast. Like crazy fast. Christen’s goal seems to have lit a fire under her and suddenly she’s blazing past their defense at speeds Christen thinks she could only dream of and now ‘baby horse’ makes sense as she watches Alex’s large strides down the field. Luckily for UNC, Alex is almost too fast for her own good, her team resorting to long balls when even they can’t keep up. If it weren’t for a handful of great saves by Ashlyn, and a few offsides calls, Christen is sure Alex would have scored before halftime.

They make it 10 minutes into the second half before Alex scores the equalizer. Christen watches from the bench, as Sydney had started the second half in her place. She has to admit that it was a beautiful goal, brought down perfectly by Alex’s chest and rocketed into the upper 90. Christen feels a surge of jealousy as she watches Alex jog back after scoring. She’s just so pretty and so nice and so good and most importantly, she’s Tobin’s favorite striker and Christen thinks that she would do just about anything if Tobin would call her that instead.

Christen subs back on a few minutes later and the game continues in a hard fought, defensive battle. In the 78th minute, Cheney sends the ball up the flank to Tobin. Christen sees Tobin lift her head up and look towards the goal and she knows exactly where Tobin wants to send the ball. She makes a looping run into the box just as Tobin crosses it. Her run is just a step late and she doesn’t get the volley she was looking for. Instead, she brings it down awkwardly with an outstretched foot, stumbling forward and chipping at the ball. By some stroke of luck, it sails perfectly over the defender’s leg and because of the angle, the keeper doesn’t see the ball until it’s already in the net.

In the 84th minute, Cheney takes a free kick that JJ is able to get a head on. The UCLA keeper punches it away but it’s a poor clearance and Christen sees her opportunity. She traps the ball and beats her defender by faking a shot and cutting to left, before sending a curling ball past the keeper’s outstretched hands. The game ends 3-1 and Christen doesn’t even realize that she scored 3 goals until Anson is pushing a ball into her chest and patting her back. “That’s the game ball, Pressy. Congrats on your first college hat trick. Many more to come,” he tells her, before heading over to shake the UCLA coach’s hand.

Christen follows her teammates to the locker room in a daze, clutching the ball to her chest. She walks over to the locker containing her stuff and is about to put the ball in her bag when someone plucks it out of her hands from behind. She whirls around and it’s Tobin. _Of course it’s Tobin, it’s always Tobin,_ she thinks. She’s standing there grinning and inspecting the ball. “This is nice, pretty Pressy. You want me to sign it for ya?” she teases. 

Christen grabs it back from Tobin’s hands and tucks it into her bag. “And ruin it with your signature? No thanks,” she retorts, sitting down to take her cleats off.

Tobin gasps and shakes her head. “Ruin it? My autograph is worth like at least 50 or 100 bucks!” she exclaims. “Cheney, my autograph is worth money, right?” she yells to Cheney across the locker room.

Cheney whirls around. “Tobin, don’t even think about it, you can’t sell your autograph. It’s NCAA rules.”

Tobin laughs, turning back to Christen. “Fine, I won’t sign it,” she relents. Christen just shakes her head, zipping her cleats into their bag. Tobin cups Christen’s chin and tilts her head up to look at her. “Seriously Chris, you were on fire out there. You keep playing like that and it’s not gunna be a matter of if you get called up, it’s just gunna be when you get called up,” she says seriously, releasing Christen’s chin.

Christen blushes as she looks back down and concentrates on pulling her socks off. She looks back up at Tobin, who’s still standing there grinning. “Wanna come to dinner with me and my parents?” she blurts out.

Christen immediately regrets it when Tobin’s smile completely drops off her face and she quickly takes a step back, recoiling away from Christen. She quickly tries to recover. “I mean, not just you and me and my parents. My sisters will be there. And Kelley and Julie and Alyssa are coming too. My parents told me to invite my roommates, but it was earlier in the week and you weren’t there and I kinda forgot until now. But like you don’t have to come if you don’t want to or if you’re busy or something,” she trails off, almost out of breath from talking so fast.

Tobin looks around the locker room, chewing her bottom lip and not meeting Christen’s eye as she runs her hand through her hair. “Uh, yeah… I just have a lot of homework to do and like reading and stuff so I’ll probably just go back to the hotel with the team. Thanks though,” she mutters, before turning and walking back to her locker.

Christen watches her go, internally slapping herself for being so awkward. She hurriedly cleans up and gets ready for dinner, throwing on warm up sweats and a team t shirt, before sliding into her Nikes and grabbing her bag. She rushes out of the locker room, searching for her family. Once she spots them, standing around talking to Alyssa, she runs over, launching herself into her dad’s arms.

 

After dinner, Christen stands outside the hotel, not wanting to say goodbye to her parents, even though she is going to see them the next day. Kelley, Julie, and Alyssa already thanked them for dinner and went into the hotel, and her older sister already left in her car, but Christen lingers. She swallows back the lump in her throat and gives her younger sister and her parents each one more hug. Her dad presses a kiss to the top of her head. “We’re so proud of you baby,” he assures her.

“See you tomorrow sweetie. Go get some sleep,” her mom says, hugging her tightly. She reluctantly breaks the hug with her mom and heads up to her hotel room, finding it empty. She gets ready for bed and turns off the light, glancing at the empty bed across the room as she climbs into her own bed.

 

Christen wakes up, blinking into the darkness and trying to decide what roused her from sleep. She rolls over and glances at the clock noticing that it’s almost 3am. She looks past the clock and sees that the bed closest to the window is still unoccupied. Her eyes are already drooping shut again when she hears the sink running in the bathroom. Her eyes shoot open and she hears the water turn off, and a few seconds later the bathroom door clicks open. Christen’s heart races in fear and she watches a figure emerge from the bathroom, flipping off the light, and walk towards the beds. When they start humming to themself, Christen realizes that it’s Tobin, but her racing heart doesn’t slow down. Tobin walks between the two beds and stops, facing her. “Chris, you awake?” she mumbles in a near whisper.

“Yeah,” Christen whispers back. “What are you doing? Where were you?”

Tobin doesn’t answer. She walks closer and stops directly next to the bed, reaching a hand out to grab the blankets. “Can I?” she asks, pulling the blankets back a bit.

Christen sighs and nods before she realizes that it’s dark and Tobin probably can’t see her. “I guess,” she whispers, scooting back into the middle of the bed to make room.

Tobin climbs into bed next to her, letting out a yawn as she gets comfortable. She scoots closer until she’s pressed up against Christen’s side. “I missed you,” she mumbles. Christen wrinkles her nose at the smell of alcohol.

“Are you drunk?” she questions, scooting further back and lifting her head to look at Tobin.

“Don’t go,” Tobin slurs, reaching out for Christen.

“I’m not going anywhere, Tobin. Where were you? Why are you drunk?” she asks, pushing up to sit up in bed.

“I was exploring and I found a bar. I didn’t drink a lot,” she mumbles quietly.

Christen leans over to turn on the small reading light mounted on the side of the headboard. She looks back over at Tobin, who has her eyes squeezed shut. “Okay, but why were you drinking at all? Who were you with?”

“Just me,” Tobin yawns out.

“You went to a bar and got drunk by yourself? Why Tobin?” Christen asks, concerned.

Tobin shrugs. “Are you gunna tell Cheney?” she asks, her brow furrowed and her eyes still squeezed shut.

“I don’t know. I guess not, if you don’t want me to?” Christen questions. “But I don’t understand why you were exploring and out drinking by yourself in LA. That’s dangerous Tobin.”

Tobin nods and slowly opens her eyes, tilting her head to look up at Christen. “I’m sorry. Are you mad?” she asks in a small voice.

Christen studies her face, taking in the dark circles under her red rimmed and bloodshot eyes, which are wide and staring back at her, and the slight pout of her lips. She sighs and shakes her head. “No Tobs, I’m not mad. I’m just, I don’t know, worried about you, I guess?” she says softly.

Tobin chews her bottom lip and blinks up at Christen. “Look, I was just bored and I was walking around and I went into a bar to see if they were playing any soccer games and the bartender didn’t ID so I got a drink and then that turned into a few. No big deal. I’m sorry,” she whispers, closing her eyes again.

Christen wants to question Tobin more, but she looks exhausted and Christen is ready to get back to sleep as well. She leans back and clicks the light back off and scoots back down in bed. “You don’t have to apologize Tobin, you’re an adult, you can do what you want but I just don’t think you should go out drinking by yourself in a city again. You could have been mugged or kidnapped or gotten lost or something.”

“I know, I know, it was stupid and I won’t do it again,” she says, once again scooting closer to Christen.

Christen doesn’t respond, not really knowing how she is supposed to react in this situation. She considers getting her phone and texting Cheney anyway, but she doesn’t want to betray Tobin’s trust and she’s honestly just too tired. Tobin is on her back, her side against Christen’s and her head tilted in her direction. Christen can tell by her breathing that she’s already asleep. Christen inches back a bit to put at least some space between them so she can feel better about caving to Tobin’s requests yet again. She closes her eyes, attempting to clear her mind and to sync her breathing with Tobin’s. After what seems like hours, she finally falls back asleep, despite her racing thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, leave a comment or hit me up on tumblr to let me know what you think!


	13. Is that code for something?

Christen wakes up Saturday morning, on their day off, to an empty hotel room. She panics at first, thinking she must have overslept if Tobin is up and out of the room before her, but when she glances at the clock, she sees it’s only 9am. There’s a note scribbled on the hotel notepad on the night table and she reaches over and grabs it, squinting her eyes to read it without her glasses or contacts.

_STARVING. FREE BFAST DOWNSTAIRS. MEET ME THERE? –T_

Christen gets dressed quickly, in desperate need of coffee. She grabs the room key and her phone before heading down to the breakfast room off the lobby. The room is pretty empty, and it seems like the rest of the team opted to sleep in, since they don’t need to meet up until 11:30am. Tobin stands in front of a waffle iron in flip flops, shorts, and a hoodie, her glasses on and her hair in a messy bun. Christen can’t help but smile at the sight of her, humming to herself and drumming a beat on the counter with a fork and spatula, while she waits for her waffle. She turns and gets coffee before walking to the counter next to Tobin. “Morning,” she says, giggling when Tobin jumps and is startled out of her own little world. 

“Shit, you scared me Pressy. What’s up? Want a waffle?” she asks, smiling widely.

Christen nods, sipping her coffee. “Yeah, I’ll make one when you’re done.”

Tobin shakes her head, opening the waffle iron to retrieve her waffle. She grabs a plate and puts the waffle on it, pushing it into Christen’s hands. “Just take this one. I already had one so I can wait a couple minutes for another.”

Christen thanks her and sits down at one of the tables, ripping open the syrup cup and pouring it over her waffle, taking care to make sure syrup gets into every square. Tobin joins her a few minutes later, depositing a handful of syrup cups onto the table and sitting down across from her. “So what’s the plan for today pretty Pressy?” she asks, cutting her waffle and dipping it into the syrup cup before popping it into her mouth. 

“We’re meeting in the lobby at 11:30 and then the bus will take us to my house for a barbecue. Did you bring your bathing suit? I have a pool. I think we’re just gunna barbecue and hang out then come back here after dinner.”

Tobin nods as she chews and swallows. “So a whole day at your house, huh? Are you gunna show me your bedroom?” she asks, waggling her eyebrows.

“Why? You want to sleep in my bed some more?” Christen shoots back, not sure where her confidence is coming from.

Tobin starts laughing, nearly choking on her waffle, and grabs her juice to wash it down. “That was good Pressy, you’re funny,” she admits, cutting her waffle. “Dawn would shit a brick if she saw how much syrup I’ve consumed today,” she muses, pointing at the empty syrup cups with her fork.

“Who’s Dawn?”

“She’s the boss of fitness and food for the national team,” Tobin explains. “She’s always on me about eating too much carbs and sugar,” she shrugs, popping another syrup drenched bite of waffle into her mouth. “So anyway,” she continues, through her mouthful of waffle. “Tell me what to expect today. Both of your parents are gunna be there? And your sisters?”

“Yes to my parents and I don’t know about my sisters. My older sister doesn’t live at home so she won’t be there but I’m not sure about my little sister. She’s kinda shy so I think she’ll probably find a reason to not be around,” Christen answers, studying Tobin’s face to see how she’ll react, thinking back to how she’s reacted to talk about her family in the past.

Tobin just nods thoughtfully. “Am I gunna get to meet Morena and Khaleesi?” she asks with a wide grin. 

Christen grins back at her, touched that Tobin remembered her dogs’ names. “Of course! I can’t wait to see them!”

“I’m excited too,” Tobin admits.

 

A few hours later the team arrives at Christen’s, and Christen blushes as different teammates compliment the house. Her parents introduce themselves to everyone and tell them to make themselves at home, pointing out a cooler stocked with drinks and tables covered with an assortment of snacks. Most of the team immediately heads for the pool. Christen sneaks away, finding Tobin by the cooler and grabbing the back of her t shirt. Tobin turns around, a questioning look on her face. “Wanna see my dogs?” she whispers. 

Tobin grins, looking around conspiratorially and leaning in. “Is that code for something?” she whispers back, winking exaggeratedly.

Christen blushes and shakes her head furiously. “No! I’m literally asking if you want to go see my dogs. They’re inside.”

“Just me?” Tobin asks.

Christen nods and starts walking to the house. “They get a little crazy around a lot of people,” she says over her shoulder, leading Tobin up the stairs. She walks down the hall, stopping in front of her bedroom and looking back at Tobin, who is glancing around at the pictures on the walls with wide eyes. “Ready?” she asks, her hand on the doorknob.

Tobin turns back to her, her eyes still wide and nods. Christen opens the door and immediately Morena and Khaleesi wiggle their way out, jumping up on Christen and Tobin. Christen squats down to say hi to Khaleesi and watches Tobin with Morena, feeling a warmth spread through her chest at how carefree and joyful Tobin looks as she sits on the floor in the hallway, laughing and talking in a baby voice to the dogs. She even lets Morena lick her face while she pets her. After a few minutes of getting pet and giving kisses, the two dogs apparently get bored of Tobin and Christen and bound off down the stairs. Tobin looks up at Christen with concern about letting them go, but Christen just shrugs and holds her hand out to help Tobin up. 

Tobin gets up to her feet and gestures to the open bedroom door. “This your room?” she questions. Christen nods and Tobin peers through the doorway before looking back at her. “Can I see?” she asks.

Christen shrugs and walks around Tobin into her room, glancing around to see if her parents had changed anything. “Sure, if you want,” she says, looking back at Tobin in the doorway. Tobin smiles and wanders into the room, looking around and slowly taking everything in. She stops in front of Christen’s bookcase, running her finger along the edge of the shelf while studying the books on one shelf, before looking at the trophies littering the top shelf. Christen watches her as she thoughtfully turns to Christen’s desk, leaning in to look at the pictures pinned to a corkboard above it. Tobin taps a picture with her finger and turns to look at Christen. “This guy is all over your Instagram. Boyfriend?” she asks.

Christen steps closer to see which picture it is, before blushing, thinking of Tobin scrolling through her Instagram. “Ex boyfriend,” she corrects, looking at the picture of her and her ex, all dressed up with their arms around each other. Tobin nods and steps back, turning around to take in the rest of Christen’s room.

“I like your room, Chris. It’s very…you,” she muses trailing her hand across Christen’s bed as she walks over to her window to look outside.

Christen watches Tobin’s long fingers brush over the folded blanket at the foot of her bed and her face heats up even more. Being alone with Tobin, here in her bedroom, is suddenly too much for her. “We should go back outside before the rest of the team wonders where we went,” she says quietly.

Tobin nods and turns back to her. “Good call, I wanna go in your pool. You lead the way,” she says, gesturing for Christen to go out the door ahead of her. They go back outside, joining their teammates.

 

Christen sits down and watches as Tobin slides out of her cutoff denim shorts and takes off her t shirt, revealing a much smaller than expected black bikini and all too much of her toned body and tanned skin. Christen’s eyes follow her as she walks to the stairs, stepping down into the pool and kicking water towards Cheney with a laugh. She feels an elbow dig into her side and quickly tears her eyes away from Tobin’s body to look at Kelley sitting next to her, smirking. “You’re drooling CP,” she quips.

Christen rolls her eyes and elbows Kelley back. “Am not,” she denies.

“Okay, well you practically were. Don’t feel bad, she’s super hot and I'm pretty sure everyone on the team now has a crush on her with that tiny bikini she has on,” Kelley says, watching Tobin. Christen glances back out to the pool where Tobin is now standing in the shallow end, clearly having gone under already, with her hair wet and drops of water glistening on her skin.

“Shut up, KO,” Christen rasps, her throat suddenly dry, before getting up to get herself a bottle of water.

The team spends the afternoon hanging out and splashing around in the pool. Her dad grills burgers, hot dogs, chicken, and vegetable skewers for dinner. Morena and Khaleesi are running around the backyard like maniacs, looking for scraps and after they almost trip her dad on his way to the grill, he’s had enough. “Christen, put the dogs inside please!” he yells across the patio.

Christen takes one last bite of zucchini and gets up, wondering how she’s going to get both dogs back inside, when she already can’t even find them. She spots Tobin in her bikini top and shorts, on the lawn with an old soccer ball, playing keep away with Morena, and she heads in their direction. “Hey Tobs, I’m gunna bring the dogs back up to my room. Can you grab her and help me? I’ll get Khaleesi.”

Tobin nods and crouches down, petting Morena and taking a hold of her collar. Christen searches the patio, finally finding Khaleesi under a table searching for crumbs. She lures her out with a piece of hot dog, leading her to the backdoor where Tobin is waiting with Morena. They get the dogs upstairs to Christen’s room, laughing at their attempts to escape and go back outside.

On the way back downstairs, Tobin stops, noticing a picture of a goofy looking Christen, at maybe 6 years old, in a soccer uniform, her shorts pulled up high and jersey tucked in, a huge smile on her face. “Chris, this is a really good look. You should wear your shorts and jersey like this tomorrow,” she teases, laughing at the picture.

“Oh shut up,” Christen laughs, shoving Tobin lightly from behind and trying not to let her hand linger on her bare back.

“Christen? Can you come help me for a second?” she hears her mom call from the kitchen. Her and Tobin wander through the doorway. “Hi sweetie, can you take the tray of watermelon out back?”

Christen nods and walks towards the counter. “Mom, this is Tobin, my roommate. Tobin, this is my mom,” she introduces.

Her mom dries her hands on a dishtowel and turns, pulling Tobin into a hug. “Tobin! So good to finally meet you, we missed you at dinner last night!”

“Oh, yeah sorry, I had a lot of homework to do,” Tobin mumbles with an apologetic smile.

“Oh no, that’s okay honey! School comes first of course. There’s always next time,” she assures, turning back to cutting up fruit and slapping Christen’s hand away when she tries to pluck a piece of strawberry off the cutting board. “So Tobin, that’s an interesting name.”

“Mom, you named one of your daughters Tyler and another Channing. You’re not really one to talk about interesting names,” Christen scoffs, leaning against the counter and trying again to steal a strawberry.

Christen’s mom again slaps her hand away before turning to look at Tobin. “Well it’s a nice name. Is it a family name?”

Tobin nods, leaning forward on the kitchen island. “Thanks, it was my great great grandmother’s last name. I guess it’s pretty unique, I’ve never met another Tobin,” she explains.

“Where are you from Tobin?” her mom asks, relenting and handing Christen a strawberry before offering one to Tobin.

Tobin grabs the strawberry, smiling brightly. “Thanks. I’m kinda from a lot of places I guess. I grew up mostly in New Jersey and spent summers in Rhode Island and a little bit of time in Florida and a little bit of time in New York. But I’ve been traveling for soccer since I was around 12 and probably spent more time away from home than at home since I was like 15 or 16,” she answers, popping the strawberry into her mouth.

“Oh wow, how did you balance school with all that travel?”

Christen rolls her eyes at her mom’s nosiness but Tobin doesn’t seem to mind. “A lot of tutors and help from friends or teammates. My high school was really cool about getting me assignments and everything while I traveled so that I could still graduate with my class. I couldn’t play for the school team and I missed a lot of school my junior and senior year because of prep for the Olympics. I actually couldn’t even walk at my graduation because of a camp with the national team but they mailed me my diploma and the national team had like a cake and stuff for me,” she shrugs.

“Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot that you were the player that was in the Olympics! That’s so great, your parents must be so proud,” her mom beams at Tobin, turning back to the counter to dump the rest of the cut up strawberries into the fruit salad.

Tobin shrugs again, looking down at the counter. Christen decides to step in and save her from any more questions. She picks up the tray of watermelon. “We’re gunna bring this outside, thanks mom,” she says, walking out of the kitchen with Tobin trailing behind her.

A little while later, Christen is on her third piece of watermelon. She’s laughing with the rest of the team at Kelley, Emily, Lindsey, and Morgan who are having a chicken fight in the pool when she glances up at Tobin across the table. She’s watching them as well, but chewing her bottom lip and not laughing like everyone else. Christen suddenly gets an idea and gets up before she can talk herself out of it.

She walks around the table, leaning in to talk quietly in Tobin’s ear. “Hey, come with me. I want to show you something.”

Tobin looks up at her with a furrowed brow but pushes back from the table and gets up to follow her. Christen walks around to the front of the house and across the street to the cliffs overlooking the ocean. She leads Tobin down a path to a secluded spot by the water, where a large flat rock makes a natural bench. She sits down on the rock, facing towards the ocean where the sun is just beginning to meet the horizon, and pats the spot next to her for Tobin.

Tobin sits down beside her, her eyes wide as she stares out at the water. She glances sideways at Christen with a grin for a moment before looking back at the ocean. “This view is insane Chris. I wish I had my board and we were here longer so I could surf. You’re so lucky to have this right across the street,” she says, her voice laced with wonder.

Christen nods, smiling out at the sunset. “Yeah, this is my spot. I walk my dogs down here for the sunset whenever I can and I used to come here whenever I was upset about anything growing up. You could always find me here after games or practices that I just wanted to forget.”

Tobin looks at her thoughtfully, her eyes studying her face before she turns back to the water. “How come you’re so hard on yourself with soccer? Were you always like that?” she asks softly.

Christen shakes her head. “No, not really. I don’t know, I guess I always put pressure on myself to be the best but I always felt like I was one of the best until the start of 11th grade. I was on a really good club team and I was hoping, and honestly, kind of expecting to get a call up to one of the youth national teams, but then I got cut from the team. It was politics, the coach kept this other girl over me because her sister was really good and the parents insisted that they had to play together and no one would admit this but I’m pretty sure they were bribing the coach. He basically gave me all these critiques as reasons why he cut me, I guess to cover up the fact that he kept players I knew I was better than. He told me that I had no defensive skills or leadership skills, my fitness level was too low, I was weak with my back to goal, and my movements off the ball were not good enough-”

“That’s all bull, you know that, right? That’s ridiculous, none of that is true Chris,” Tobin interrupts, passionately.

“I know, and I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it wasn’t true even then, but when someone just lays it all out there like that and then you’re left without a team you just start believing it. And I guess I’ve been trying to convince myself that I am good enough ever since then. And I didn’t get the call up and I started to really just hate soccer. I knew I was just gunna end up disappointed and upset and I used to dread going to games and practices. I seriously considered quitting more times than I’d like to admit. I think this year is the first year I’ve really started to just love the game and have fun again,” she finishes.

“I’m glad you didn’t quit. And the fact that you’re having fun again definitely shows on the field. You’re playing like the best player on the team right now Chris. Even I need to step my game up to compete with you,” she teases, nudging Christen with her shoulder.

Christen rolls her eyes with a smile. “Yeah, okay Miss Olympian. By the way sorry about my mom, she’s so nosy.”

Tobin shakes her head, “nah, don’t worry about it. She seems nice.”

“I didn’t realize how you lived all over the place, like Florida and New York. Did you move a lot?”

“Not really. I obviously did most of my traveling through soccer. Started traveling for club when I was maybe 8 and then for the youth national teams when I was 12. I mostly lived in Jersey and spent summers in Rhode Island, but my parents got divorced when I was like 9 and after about a year my mom moved to Florida, so I lived there for a few months. My sister lives in Brooklyn and I stayed with her at times. I spent a summer in Indianapolis with Cheney one year too. Other than that, a few weeks here and there with different teammates all over the country,” Tobin shrugs. “I kinda like not being tied to any particular place. It’s more fun to travel around and stay different places.”

Christen is quiet for a moment, looking out to where the sun is dipping below the horizon. “Are you close with your family? You don’t talk about them,” she says quietly, studying Tobin’s profile and hoping that she isn’t upset by the question. 

Tobin’s jaw clenches as she squints out at the sunset. She finally takes a deep breath and runs her hand through her hair. “It’s complicated,” she admits. “So my mom is dead, she died in a car accident when I was 12. I think we were pretty close when I was little, but things were a little rocky after my parents divorced. When I was really little things were okay with my dad but we drifted apart as I got older and I’m not close with him now. We don’t agree on a lot and I was pretty pissed at him when him and my mom separated. I guess we tolerate each other when we have to but we haven’t spoken in a few months and I haven’t seen him since Christmas. I’ve always been pretty close with my siblings, especially my brother, but they’re all busy with their own lives and we don’t see each other too often,” she finishes, still looking out at the water. 

“Tobin, I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” Christen says softly, shocked by Tobin’s revelation. 

Tobin waves her hand, as if brushing off Christen’s concern and shakes her head, chewing her bottom lip. “No, don’t be sorry. It’s okay, it’s been a long time. I don’t like talking about it,” she says, running her hand through her hair again.

“Okay, we don’t have to talk about,” Christen assures, resisting the urge to reach out and hug Tobin, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

They sit quietly for a few minutes as the last sliver of the sun disappears into the ocean. Tobin leans back on her hands on the rock and looks around. “So this place is pretty hidden, huh?”

Christen looks around as well before nodding. “Yeah, no one else is ever really here.”

Tobin looks over at her with a grin. “Very romantic with the sunset and all. This is a good make out spot.”

Christen lets out a nervous chuckle, “yeah.”

Tobin raises her eyebrows. “Yeah? So you’ve brought people here to make out before?” 

“What? No! I mean, yes. Well, no, not people! Just one person, my ex boyfriend, but that was a long time ago,” Christen stutters out, her cheeks heating up.

Tobin just laughs. “Christen Press, did you bring me to your secret make out spot?” she teases.

Christen slaps Tobin’s shoulder and stands. “No! Let’s go before it gets too dark,” she says, leading Tobin back to her house.

 

A few hours later, they’re back at the hotel and Christen is in bed, reading for her communications class before going to sleep. She jumps when Tobin slams her laptop shut across the room. “I don’t even get why we have to take classes. I’m gunna be a professional soccer player I don’t need to know what happens inside a cell! I just want to play soccer,” she exclaims, exasperated.

Christen holds in a giggle at Tobin’s dramatics. “It doesn’t matter if you’re just gunna be a soccer player after you graduate. If you want to graduate you need to earn your diploma. They don’t just hand them out because you’re good at kicking a ball, Tobs.”

Tobin turns to face her with narrowed eyes and a serious look on her face. “I’m not just good at kicking a ball, Pressy. I am great at kicking a ball. And maybe they should make a soccer diploma and appreciate me for who I am instead of trying to force me to be a giant nerd like you.”

“Whining about it isn’t gunna change the fact that you need to do your work and pass your classes,” Christen shrugs.

Tobin sticks her tongue out at Christen, causing her to roll her eyes. She slides off her bed and tucks her laptop into her backpack before pulling her sneakers on to her bare feet. Christen wrinkles her nose as she watches. “Where are you going?” she asks.

“I’m gunna go bother Cheney for a little and then go down to the gym for a run, I can’t sit still doing work any more. Wanna come?”

Christen shakes her head, wanting to finish her reading. “Don’t forget your room key,” she calls, smiling to herself when Tobin halts, halfway out the door and walks back to grab her card off the desk, shooting her a wink before leaving the room.

Christen finishes her reading a few minutes later and gets ready for bed. She leaves the bathroom light on so that Tobin will be able to see when she gets back. She climbs into bed, fully expecting to be woken up by Tobin when she gets back from her run.

 

She wakes up the next morning from the sunlight streaming in through the window. She groans and grabs her phone, checking the time. She has 10 minutes until her alarm, and 40 minutes until she needs to meet the team in the lobby for breakfast. She rolls away from the window and attempts to fall back asleep but is unsuccessful. It dawns on her that she didn’t wake up when Tobin came back and she’s confused to find herself a little disappointed that Tobin isn’t in bed with her. She rolls back over to face Tobin’s bed, half expecting it to be empty and she’s kind of surprised to see the midfielder sprawled out, sound asleep, in the middle of the bed amidst a tangle of the sheets and blanket. Her alarm sounds a few minutes later, waking Tobin and the two of them get ready and head down to breakfast together. 

Christen isn’t sure why, but she feels significantly less nervous for the game against USC. The game is rough and the USC defense shuts them down every time they get into the final third. Finally, in the 72nd minute, Tobin sends in a corner that Ali gets a head on and the game ends 1-0.

Christen is disappointed by her lack of an impact in the game but she brushes it off, knowing the whole team struggled and is happy that they at least got the W, keeping their undefeated streak going. She's quicker than usual in the locker room, rushing out to see her parents for a few minutes before boarding the bus to the airport. It seems like only a few seconds have gone by when she feels a tug on the back of her jacket. She turns to find Kelley behind her. “Hi Stacy and Cody! Thanks for the BBQ, can’t wait ‘til the next time I come visit,” she smiles brightly at Christen’s parents. “Sorry CP, we gotta go. Everyone’s on the bus,” she says, gesturing behind her with her thumb. Christen nods, hugging her parents one more time each and following Kelley to the bus.

The flight back to North Carolina is long and Christen is stuck in the middle seat, between Tobin in the window seat and Kelley in the aisle. Tobin is asleep before the plane even taxis away from the gate. Kelley pulls out her laptop and shares an earbud with Christen so they can watch a movie. After it ends, Kelley decides to take a nap and Christen is bored out of her mind, since she struggles to fall asleep on planes. She peers over at Tobin and considers waking her up to entertain her but she looks so peaceful that Christen can’t bring herself to wake her. She studies the sleeping midfielder’s face, thinking about all that she shared with her on this trip. She thinks that some of Tobin’s behavior makes more sense, but there’s still so much she doesn’t know about her. And she wants to know more, she thinks. She wants Tobin to trust her and share more with her and she wants to trust Tobin. She likes the way Tobin listens to her and can calm her down even if she is frustrating and cocky and disinterested at times. She leans back in her seat, tearing her gaze away from Tobin’s face and closes her eyes, smiling at the friendship she’s building with the midfielder and feeling proud of herself for not letting the kiss they shared ruin any potential for being friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So NWSL on Lifetime... What's everyone think? I think there's a lot of pros and cons but I just want more details about access to the non televised games! Anyway, hope you are all having a good week and enjoyed the update. Thanks for reading and commenting and leaving kudos :)


	14. We don't have to talk about it

On Monday after training, as the team sits on the field, stretching and pulling their cleats off, Anson calls to Christen from the sideline. “Pressy! Come up to my office after you get changed!” Christen nods and immediately begins to panic as if she had just gotten called into the principal’s office.

“Oooh, you’re in trouble CP! What’d you do?” Kelley jokes, poking Christen in the sides.

“I have no idea. What do you think it’s about?” Christen frets, brushing Kelley’s hands away.

“Don’t worry, it’s probably a good thing Chris. He probably just wants to like congratulate you on the hat trick or something,” Cheney reassures her.

Christen still has an irrational fear that Anson is about to cut her from the team and she rushes to shower and change, not wanting to keep him waiting. She hurries out of the locker room but starts to drag her feet once she begins to make her way up stairs. She focuses on getting her breathing under control, not wanting to seem like a nervous wreck when she gets up to his office. She stops in front of the open door and Anson looks up from his computer, smiling at her. “Pressy, come in, shut the door,” he says, before gesturing for her to take a seat across from him.

Christen lowers herself into the arm chair, smiling nervously at Anson over his desk. “First of all, can you write down your home address for me? I know I have it somewhere but it’s easier just to have you give it to me while you’re here. I want to send your parents a thank you card for hosting us Saturday,” Anson starts, handing her a notepad and a pen and waiting while she jots down the address. “Okay, thanks. Now the real reason that I called you here is because I wanted to talk to you.”

Christen waits anxiously for him to continue.

“Don’t be nervous. It’s not bad,” he smiles and Christen curses herself for not doing a better job at hiding her nerves. “Do you know why I asked you to take that penalty kick against UCLA?” Anson continues.

_Um, because you like to gamble and take unnecessary risks?_ Christen thinks, but she keeps her mouth shut and just shakes her head.

“Press, you’re an excellent forward and you have so much potential. But I can see that your confidence is fragile and as my striker I need you to be able to bounce back from misses and losses. I’m going to keep starting you and you’re going to keep scoring. I don’t doubt that at all. I gave you that penalty kick because I knew that you wouldn’t want it. I also knew that you would take it anyway and that you would score. I need you to be confident and scoring goals gives you that confidence. Any other player I would be worried about them gaining too much confidence and their head getting too big after being on a scoring streak the way you have been, but I don’t worry about that with you. Just remember that you deserved to take that PK just as much, if not more than anyone else on the field. I know you can score and I believe in you and believe that you can keep scoring but don’t put too much pressure on yourself, okay? If I didn’t believe in you and trust in your abilities on the pitch, I wouldn’t keep starting you. But, I need you to stay confident and believe in yourself too, Pressy,” he finishes his speech with a smile.

Christen is almost in tears. She’s never had a coach who understood her or believed in her before and she’s surprised that Anson has her all figured out after just a month. “Thank you,” she says softly, smiling at him.

Anson walks around his desk and Christen follows his lead, also standing up and walking towards his office door. “My office door is always open, Pressy. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, patting Christen on the back as she walks through the door. 

 

The next few days pass by quickly in a blur of schoolwork and soccer. The routine is interrupted when Christen goes to wake Tobin up for class on Thursday morning. She opens Tobin's bedroom door, not really expecting Tobin to be there since she very rarely is, but she quickly realizes that Tobin is there and she isn't alone in her bed. She's laying on her back on the edge of the bed and on the other side a shirtless brunette is sprawled on her stomach with the blankets pooled around her waist. Christen doesn't bother waking Tobin and instead walks back out of her room, slamming the door harder than she intended behind her, and leaving for class early.

Class is a few minutes underway when Tobin slides into the seat next to her. "You left without me," she says, not bothering to lower her voice and ignoring the fact that their TA is speaking in the front of the lecture hall.

Christen doesn't look up from her notebook at first. "You seemed busy," she whispers, finally looking over at Tobin who just furrows her brow in response. After a few seconds, Tobin's face falls as if she's had a realization and she nods at Christen.

"Oh. Sorry," she whispers before sinking further into her seat and pulling out her laptop. They don't talk again for the rest of class. Christen tries to focus on the lecture but she has a hard time calming her racing mind to really take anything in. She jots down a few notes but the majority of her attention is on thoughts of Tobin. She thinks of the kiss they had shared before the California trip and wonders if it even meant anything. Based on this morning, she thinks it probably meant nothing to Tobin. She considers whether or not it meant something to her, deciding that it definitely did. She reasons with herself that it was her first kiss with a girl and that’s why it meant something to her. She wonders if things have been awkward between her and Tobin since the kiss. She doesn't think so, it seems like they both decided to just pretend it never happened, and if anything, their friendship has only gotten stronger. _Maybe it didn’t even happen and I dreamt it_ , she thinks before shaking her head at the ridiculousness of the thought. _Maybe I was a terrible kisser and she totally regrets it. Oh my god, am I a terrible kisser?_ she suddenly panics internally. She wonders if she should text her ex and ask if he thought she was a good kisser, but quickly decides that it would be too awkward. Plus, maybe it's different when you're kissing a girl. Kissing Tobin was definitely a complete 180 from any of the guys she's ever kissed and she thinks she’d probably be happy if she never had to kiss a guy again. She wonders if kissing all girls feels as good as kissing Tobin. 

Christen dares a few glances in Tobin's direction throughout class but Tobin seems just as zoned out. She’s not watching soccer and scribbling notes like usual, but she has a blank word document open and doesn't type a single word, instead just staring off into space for the entire hour. She studies Tobin, trying to figure out her feelings about the tanned midfielder. She likes being around Tobin, her chill personality and easy going nature seems to balance out Christen’s anxious personality and obsessive need to plan. She’s also attracted to Tobin, probably more than she’s ever been attracted to anyone before. She thinks about finding Tobin in bed with another girl and why it upset her so much. She knows that it’s jealousy, but isn’t entirely sure if she’s jealous of the girl for sleeping with Tobin, or jealous of Tobin for being comfortable in her sexuality. She thinks it’s probably both but decides that she needs to continue to focus on building her friendship with Tobin, and try to ignore any jealousy or attraction she feels towards her since the feelings are clearly not mutual. She needs to keep connecting on the field with Tobin if she wants to keep playing and scoring and eventually get a call up, so she needs to figure out how to put her feelings to the side. 

Tobin closing her laptop shakes Christen from her thoughts and she quickly turns back to the front of the room, realizing that class is over. “Wanna go get something to eat?” Tobin asks hopefully as Christen packs up her bag.

Christen glances at her phone and sees she still has an hour until her Spanish class. She considers giving Tobin an excuse and avoiding her, but she reminds herself that she needs to get over this crush. “Sure, but it’s gotta be fast,” she answers. And just like that, it’s like they’re back to normal, as if the kiss, and finding Tobin in bed with another girl, had never happened.

 

Friday brings tropical storm like conditions with driving rain and wind but no lightning, so their game at Duke is still on. The team is pumped as they wait to board the bus to their rival’s campus, dancing around to music blasting through Cheney’s blue tooth speakers. Anson even joins in, laughing and teasing them about their terrible dancing and asking if the Taylor Swift song playing is by Britney Spears.

Their good moods don’t last long when it becomes clear that Duke is outplaying them. They don’t get a single shot off in the first half while Duke has 13. The only reason that the score is still 0-0 is thanks to some incredible goalkeeping by Ashlyn. The second half doesn’t go much better. Christen receives a perfect cross from Tobin late in the second half, right inside the box with only the goalkeeper to face, but she loses her footing on the wet ground and skies the ball way over the net. Tobin also gets a shot off a couple minutes later, but it ricochets off the post and out for a goal kick. The team gets a couple shots off in the overtime periods but only one is on target and is an easy save for the Duke keeper. The game ends in a scoreless tie thanks to 11 saves by Ashlyn.

The team seems to have mixed feelings about the game as they head back into the locker room. A lot of the team is happy to have earned a tie after being outmatched by the Duke team. However, some players, Christen and Tobin included, are frustrated by the result. Christen can’t stop thinking about the mistakes she made in the game, specifically the easy shot she missed late in the second half. She thinks back on her meeting with Anson earlier in the week and can’t help but feel like she let him down. She knows that letting her confidence be shaken by one game is exactly want Anson didn’t want her to let happen, so she also feels guilty for being so disappointed in herself.

While Christen is upset, Tobin is angry. She rips her cleats off and throws them into her locker, slamming her shin guards down as well and kicking over the folding chair in front of her locker with a sock clad foot. Cheney grabs her by the arm and drags her out of the locker room and it’s awkwardly quiet before someone turns on music. Christen swallows the lump in her throat and tries to put on a brave face, going through the motions before they climb back onto the bus to campus. 

She’s one of the first on the bus and she sits in her seat and puts her headphones in, resting her head against the window, watching rain drops race down the outside of the glass. A few minutes later, the rest of her teammates start filing out of the building and down the sidewalk to the bus. She is surprised when instead of Kelley, Tobin drops down into the seat next to her. Tobin has the hood of her sweatshirt up and doesn’t say a word as she slouches in the seat next to Christen. A few minutes into the ride, Tobin reaches into her lap and takes her hand, holding it the rest of the way back to campus. 

When they get back to campus, a lot of the team, Kelley, Alyssa, and JJ included, decide to go to Waffle House for a late night dinner. Christen declines, citing a headache and instead heads back to the suite with Tobin. They go their separate ways when they get back and once Christen is alone in the safety of her room, she allows herself to shed the tears that she had been holding back since the game ended. She’s so angry and disappointed in herself as she curls up on top of her blankets, replaying her mistakes over and over again.

She allows the sobs to wrack through her body, but after a while there is a soft knock on her door. She tries to steady her breathing and furiously wipes at her face, getting out of bed to go answer it. She’s about to walk towards the door when it opens and Tobin slips in. Tobin opens her mouth to say something, but when she sees Christen standing in the middle of the room, slightly shaking with a tearstained face, she takes a few long strides and crashes into her with a force that makes Christen gasp. Tobin wraps her long arms around Christen and pulls her into a tight embrace. “It’s okay, Chris,” she whispers soothingly, holding her tightly. Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s back allowing herself to be comforted by her warmth. She sniffles a few times before dropping her face to Tobin’s shoulder and melting into the embrace. 

After a few moments of this, Tobin pulls back. She takes Christen's face in her hands and brushes a few stray tears away with her thumbs before dropping her hands to Christen's shoulders and running them down her arms. She grabs Christen's hand in her own. "Come," she says softly, leading Christen out of the room and into her room. She shuts the door behind them and guides Christen to her bed. She climbs in, pulling Christen with her and props herself up on her pillows, before taking Christen into her arms. Christen clutches at Tobin's t shirt and rests her head on Tobin's chest and tries to sync their breathing in an effort to avoid breaking down again. She closes her eyes and breathes in Tobin's unique scent. Tobin doesn't try to get her to talk, she instead just holds her, gently rubbing her hand up and down Christen's back. Slowly but surely she finds herself relaxing in Tobin's arms. Tobin leans down and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Better?" she murmurs into Christen's hair.

Christen leans back a little and tilts her head up to look at Tobin. Tobin looks back at her, a concerned expression on her face. Christen nods her head once. "Better," she affirms. "Thank you."

Tobin's concerned expression melts into a small smile. "Any time Chris. Wanna talk about it?"

Christen takes a deep breath, suddenly aware of how close their faces are. She shakes her head slightly as she looks Tobin in the eye. "No, not really," she whispers.

Their closeness seems to dawn on Tobin at this point as well. She draws in a shaky breath, staring into Christen's eyes. "Okay. No talking," she whispers back.

Christen's gaze trails down Tobin's face to her mouth, where Tobin is absentmindedly chewing her bottom lip, a nervous habit that Christen often notices. Christen doesn't know how much time has passed when Tobin roughly whispers, "Chris."

Christen's attention snaps from Tobin's mouth to her eyes and they are dark and shining. "Yes?" she asks, her voice sounding hoarse all of a sudden.

Tobin takes a deep, shaky breath. "I really want to kiss you," she admits in a whisper that sounds almost like a whine. Christen's heart is racing and she's sure that Tobin can feel it through the fabric of their shirts. "Do it," she hears herself whisper before leaning up and meeting Tobin's lips halfway. 

In some ways, it's the same as their first kiss. It's unbelievably hot and Christen can't even form a coherent thought as their mouths mesh together perfectly. However, this kiss is also very different. Tobin kisses her slowly this time, borderline lazily. It's gentle and soft and there's an almost tentative quality to the way Tobin moves her lips against Christen's. After a few brief moments, Tobin pulls back, her eyes searching Christen's face. "Is that okay?" she whispers, her voice sounding shy and unsure for what might be the first time since Christen met her. Christen doesn't trust herself to form words so instead she just brings their mouths together again, hoping to kiss away Tobin's uncharacteristic uncertainty. She brings her hand up to Tobin's face, her fingers running over the angular jawline that she finds so attractive. Tobin seems to regain her confidence and begins kissing Christen with a little more urgency. She gently nips Christen's bottom lip then runs her tongue along it. Christen feels Tobin's hand slide down her back and over to her hip, her free hand coming up to grip her other hip. She tugs at Christen's hips until Christen complies and swings a leg over Tobin to straddle her narrow hips, never breaking the kiss, allowing Tobin to take the lead as her tongue slips between Christen’s parted lips.

Christen's hesitations and self doubt fly out the window when Tobin slides her hand around Christen's hip, gently gripping her ass and pulling their hips closer together. Christen decides, for once, to just let go and see what happens without worrying about the consequences. She breaks the kiss, leaning back and looking down at Tobin, who is propped against the pillows and looking back at her with an unreadable expression and swollen lips. Christen isn't sure where she gets the rush of confidence but she pulls off her hoodie and t shirt, leaving her sports bra on, and flings them off the bed carelessly, looking back down at Tobin's expression to see her reaction.

She watches Tobin's eyes trail over her body, lingering on her chest, where her hardened nipples are visible through the fabric of her sports bra. Christen watches Tobin's jaw clench and sees the movement of her throat as she swallows roughly. She leans back in to reconnect her lips to Tobin's, but Tobin surges forward and rolls them over. Before Christen can process the movement, she finds herself on her back underneath Tobin, who has one of her legs slotted between Christen's and is smirking down at her.

Tobin finds Christen's hands and pins them up above her head with one of her hands, before leaning down to capture her lips again. With her free hand Tobin caresses Christen's cheek before dancing her fingers across Christens neck and down the center of her chest. She toys with the elastic at the bottom of Christen's sports bra before moving her hand back up and tangling it in Christen's hair.

Christen feels Tobin shift her full weight onto her and she moans into Tobin's mouth and flexes her hips upward as she feels the pressure of Tobin's thigh between her legs. Tobin releases Christen's arms from above her head and brings her hand down to the bed next to Christen's shoulder. She leans her weight on this hand, taking some of the pressure off of Christen's core, before kissing her way to Christen's neck, tugging her head to one side a bit with the hand in her hair.

Christen grips Tobin's hip with one hand, bringing the other up to the back of Tobin's head, tangling it in her hair, not wanting her to stop whatever magic she’s doing with her mouth. Somewhere in the back of Christen's mind she registers the sound of the door to the suite opening and closing and muffled voices, but she ignores it and focuses on the sensation of Tobin's mouth kissing and sucking her way down her neck. Tobin bites down hard on Christen's collarbone, causing her to gasp and thrust her hips up against Tobin's leg. Tobin soothes the sting with her tongue before leaving open-mouthed kisses across Christen's chest, along the top of her sports bra. She is about to repeat the process on the other side when there is a knock on her door and she freezes, her mouth hovering just over Christen's collarbone.

"Hey Tobin? Do you know where Christen is?" they hear Kelley's muffled voice ask. Tobin leans up and looks at Christen, who has taken her hand off of Tobin's head and quickly brings a finger up to her lips, urging Tobin to stay quiet. Tobin nods before dipping her head down and nipping Christen's collarbone, shifting her leg against Christen at the same time. Christen's eyes widen and she bites down on her bottom lip to stifle a moan.

Tobin leans back up and grins devilishly at Christen who narrows her eyes at Tobin. She is about to kiss the smirk off Tobin's face when her phone starts to ring from the pocket of her sweatshirt on the floor. Her eyes widen and she shoves at Tobin until she rolls off of her and to the side. She climbs out of the bed grabbing for her phone to silence it before Kelley can hear, but she knows she's too late when there's another knock on Tobin's door. "Christen?" Kelley calls, sounding confused. "Oh...OH! Sorry!" Kelley yelps through the door. Christen can hear her giggling and hears their bedroom door shut.

"Crap," she sighs, running a hand through her hair. She hears a small laugh and whirls around to where Tobin is lying back against the pillows watching her, a smirk still playing on her lips. "Why are you laughing? This is not funny, Tobin!" she whispers harshly.

Tobin bites her lips to stifle a smile and shrugs. "Ugh," Christen groans, picking her t shirt up off the floor. "Crap," she whispers again, tugging her shirt over her body and grabbing her hoody off the floor.

"Chris, relax. Who cares? It's not a big deal," Tobin says lazily from the bed, not even bothering to lower her voice. 

"I care! Nothing is ever a big deal for you, Tobin," Christen rasps with narrowed eyes, pointing a finger at Tobin accusingly. On some level she knows she's overreacting. Kelley knows about Christen's feelings for Tobin and she knows they have slept in the same bed before, so her knowing that Christen is in Tobin's room tonight isn't some huge shock. But on another level, Christen knows that her panic is about way more than just Kelley knowing that she's in Tobin's room.

Now that she's standing with her shirt back on and is no longer in contact with Tobin's soft and always warm skin, the realization of what they had done, had been doing, and would have done, is really hitting her. She had been enjoying it, she's definitely attracted to Tobin, but it's the furthest she's ever gone with a girl and she's not sure how much further she would have gone. She's not sure if she's ready to do more, especially when Tobin just had another girl in her bed the night before last.

It's this last thought that gets Christen moving. The idea of Tobin's mouth and hands that had just been on her, being on some other girl, makes her stomach churn. "This is so wrong. I can't do this. I've gotta go," she mumbles, before pulling her sweatshirt over her head.

Tobin shrugs and rearranges her pillows and blankets, not even bothering to look up at Christen.

Christen tries to swallow the lump in her throat and ignore the tears pricking at her eyes as she leaves the room, without another word or backwards glance. She goes into her own room, still trying to prevent the tears that are threatening to spill over. Kelley is lying in bed but quickly sits up when Christen enters. She's smirking and looks like she's about to make a joke at Christen's expense but when she sees her, the smirk disappears quickly. She swings her legs over the side of her bed, sitting on the edge of it. "Chris? Are you okay? What's wrong?" she asks in a concerned tone.

Christen shakes her head and walks over to Kelley's bed, sitting next to her and scooting backwards until she can rest her back against the wall. Kelley scoots back next to Christen. "What happened?" she asks quietly.

Christen takes a few shaky breaths to compose herself and tries to come up with an answer, while Kelley waits patiently. "We kissed," she says quietly, looking down at her lap.

Kelley waits a few seconds for her to continue but Christen just stares down at her hands, idly twisting the ring on her middle finger. "Okay. And it was...bad?" Kelley prods.

Christen sighs and shakes her head. "No. It was good! Like really, really good. But, I don't know. I just- I think Tobin kisses a lot of girls and I'm just another one of them. I guess I realized that it means more to me than it does to Tobin. I guess I shouldn't be too upset though. It was just kissing. We're just friends," she rambles.

Kelley puts her hand up to stop her as she talks a mile a minute. "Chris, just friends don't make out and do this," she says, pointing at Christen's neck and tugging at her sweatshirt to get a better look.

Christen claps her hand over her neck with wide eyes. "Shut up," she whispers, in disbelief, hopping off the bed and examining her neck in the mirror.

She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees that what Kelley was pointing at is a very faint reddish mark that will likely fade by morning. She takes off her sweatshirt, tossing it onto her bed, and tugs at the neck of her t shirt to examine the other areas where Tobin's mouth had been. There aren’t really any other marks, except for a perfect crescent on one of her collarbones, left by Tobin's teeth. She absentmindedly traces a finger over it before she remembers that Kelley is sitting on her bed, watching her. She let's go of her t shirt and climbs back onto Kelley's bed, sitting next to her.

They sit in silence for a few seconds before Kelley breaks it. "Chris, how do you know it didn't mean anything to her?" she asks gently.

"Because she probably does this all the time. When I started panicking about it she basically just shrugged and rolled over to go to sleep. It just seemed like she didn't care," Christen responds.

"Well, what did you say when you started panicking?" Kelley coaxes.

Christen thinks for a moment before answering. "I think I said 'I can't do this. I have to go.' And she didn’t even say anything," Christen answers. 

"So maybe she thinks you feel like it was a mistake," Kelley reasons.

"I guess. But it kinda was a mistake, right?"

"I don't know, CP. That depends on if you feel like it was. But maybe you should be talking to Tobin about this?" Kelley offers.

"Yeah, I will. Just not tonight," Christen says, sliding off of Kelley's bed.

"Just don't wait too long alright? It sucks seeing you upset," Kelley mumbles, getting back under her blankets.

Christen smiles affectionately at her roommate. "I know, I won't. Thanks Kell," she says softly.

Christen gets ready for bed, her thoughts consumed by Tobin and what had happened between them. She is worried about it affecting their on field chemistry and resolves to talk to her about it in the morning.

 

The next morning Christen wakes up early and fully intends to talk to Tobin about the kiss. She starts thinking about what she wants to say, but when she goes to knock on Tobin’s door, it’s open and Tobin is nowhere to be found.

So instead, Christen spends the morning catching up on schoolwork and face timing her parents and sisters. The team has a meeting and film session all afternoon and Tobin barely even glances in her direction, sticking closely to ARod and Cheney’s sides.

That night, she's brushing her teeth, resigned to the fact that she isn't going to get the chance to talk to Tobin, when she hears the door to the suite open. Tobin walks by, heading for her room. Christen quickly finishes up and follows, knocking gently on her partially closed door.

"Yeah?" she hears Tobin mumble from inside the room. She pushes the door open and enters the room, closing the door behind her. Tobin glances up at her before looking back down at what she's doing.

"Can we talk?" Christen asks, watching Tobin shove a wrinkled t shirt into a small duffle bag that sits on her bed.

"Why?" she asks, flatly.

"Are we okay? I just wanted to talk about what happened-" she starts, before Tobin cuts her off.

"Stop. We don't have to talk about it. It was a mistake and we can pretend it didn't happen," Tobin says coldly, zipping up the duffle bag.

Christen is slightly taken aback, but tries to recover quickly. "Oh, okay. Yeah we can do that," she answers. Her brow furrows when Tobin unplugs her phone charger and sticks it in her backpack. "Where are you going?"

"Cheney and ARod's," Tobin answers shortly, throwing her backpack over one shoulder and picking up the duffle bag, brushing past Christen and out of her bedroom.

Christen watches her go, already struggling to hold back tears. Tobin’s words, ‘it was a mistake,’ keep replaying in her mind. She stands there alone in Tobin’s room, hugging herself as if she can physically hold herself together with her own arms. She knows she needs to get over this stupid little crush. She needs to stop thinking about Tobin. And that’s how she ends up at one of the campus rec fields, driving soccer balls towards the net by the dim lights spilling over from the parking lot next to the field. 

She hits the first ball, watching it sail wide. “Point your plant foot,” she mutters, lining up the next shot.

The next ball hits the post, ricocheting wide as well. “Lock your damn ankle,” she grits out, her jaw clenched, moving to the next ball.

“FUCK,” she cries out, missing the third ball in a row. Tears prick at her eyes as she jogs to get the balls. And maybe this isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, crying alone on a dark soccer field and feeling like a failure, but at least she isn’t thinking about Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: An update! yay!  
> Bad news: I rushed to get this posted while getting ready to go out and didn't do much editing so please ignore any mistakes/grammatical errors  
> Worse news: I'm traveling this week and I'm not sure if I'll be able to update again until next weekend. I'll be checking tumblr so check in with me there if ya have questions or comments or just anything to say in general lol


	15. Okay, so talk

Christen stays on the field, kicking the ball into the net over and over again until she’s exhausted and out of tears and knows she should get some rest for the game tomorrow. She heads back to the suite and mindlessly showers, before standing in front of the bathroom mirror in sleep shorts and a tank top, brushing her teeth. When she’s finished she inspects her collarbone in the mirror, tracing her finger over the faint crescent shape left by Tobin’s teeth. The purplish marks are already starting to fade and soon there will be no trace of Tobin on her body at all. The thought is strangely upsetting to Christen and she finds herself wishing the mark would stay, offering some kind of proof that it really happened. She lingers for a few minutes more before letting her hand drop to her side and turning away from the mirror.

Christen walks back to her room and climbs into bed quietly to avoid waking Kelley. She is exhausted but struggles to fall asleep. She finally drifts off but her sleep is restless and she wakes up several times throughout the night. When her alarm sounds in the morning, she feels even more tired than she had been the night before. She rolls out of bed and trudges to the kitchen, where Alyssa is already pouring herself coffee into a mug. She turns and looks at Christen and raises her eyebrows, holding the mug out to her. “You look like you need this more than me. Rough night?”

Christen nods, taking the mug from Alyssa’s hands graciously. “I didn’t sleep well,” she mumbles before taking a long sip of the hot liquid, her eyes closed. “Thanks for this, you’re my favorite,” she says with a small smile, raising the mug at Alyssa in appreciation.

Alyssa starts laughing and Christen is confused until she follows Alyssa’s gaze and turns around to where Kelley is standing in the doorway, gaping. “Did you just say Alyssa is your favorite? After all the sacrifices I have made for you and all the things I have done for you?” she gasps, her hand over her heart and eyes wide.

Christen can’t help but snort at Kelley’s dramatics. “Like what? Name one sacrifice you’ve made for me,” she challenges.

Kelley steps into the kitchen and narrows her eyes. “Um, easy. Numero uno, I totally keep our room PG, because I respect you, when really I could have hot ladies in my bed every night! Numero two-no, last week I was walking back from class and I saw a really cute puppy named Otter and I didn’t even tell you about it because I knew it would make you jealous! And Numero three, the other day there was only one banana left and did I eat it? No! I said to myself ‘self, your dear friend CP might want this banana’ and I left it for you! So, there ya go. Three huge major sacrifices,” she finishes her speech, waving 3 fingers in front of Christen’s face.

Julie joins them in the kitchen, thanks to Kelley’s commotion and is cracking up with Alyssa, watching the two face off. Christen practically has tears rolling down her face from laughing so hard as she pushes Kelley’s hand away. “Okay Kell, hate to break it to you but first of all, you would have to actually talk to hot ladies in order to have them in your bed. Second of all, unless there’s another puppy named Otter on campus, Otter the pitbull puppy is my math TA’s and I see her at least once or twice a week. And third, I didn’t even eat the banana!” she laughs out.

Kelley sputters for a comeback for a moment before throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. “Then who ate the fucking banana?” she yells.

Christen is so distracted by the banter with Kelley that she forgets to be upset about Tobin and actually starts the game day in a good mood, despite her exhaustion. She’s grateful to have Kelley distracting her and keeping her laughing as the morning goes on. As they walk into the locker room, she and Julie are cracking up listening to Kelley, who has taken it upon herself to ‘investigate’ the case of the missing banana. However, Christen’s laugh dies out as she enters the locker room behind Kelley and makes eye contact with Tobin across the room. Tobin is standing in front of Cheney’s locker, scowling at Christen over ARod’s shoulder, who stands in front of Tobin on her crutches. Christen holds her gaze for a moment and ARod awkwardly turns, looking over her shoulder to see who Tobin is looking at. Her eyes narrow at Christen and she turns back to Tobin, who finally looks away from Christen, her jaw clenched.

Christen walks to her locker, looking down at the ground and begins to get dressed for the game, trying to shake off her nerves about the situation with Tobin. She focuses on her breathing and tries not to glance across the room at Tobin while getting ready. She distracts herself by talking to Alyssa, who’s getting the start in goal, before they head out to the field for warm ups.

They take the lead early against Villanova, when Christen turns on the jets in just the third minute and speeds through the defense, cutting it back at the end line and laying off a pass to the six that Sydney easily chips into the net. Villanova seems to wake up after conceding the early goal and begin to fall into a defensive shell that UNC has a hard time breaking through. As the first half wears on, Tobin appears to be getting more and more frustrated, yelling at her teammates and playing with a ruthlessness that Christen has only seen once before during preseason, and even that was nothing compared to this. In the 23rd minute, Tobin tracks back on defense and makes a late tackle from behind, her studs up and catching the Villanova players calf. She’s given a yellow card and Villanova almost equalizes on the set piece they’re awarded, but Alyssa makes a diving save, snatching the ball out of the air.

It’s only 10 minutes later when Tobin is taking the ball up the left sideline and Christen makes a run expecting the cross. Tobin takes a touch too many and has the ball tackled away in what admittedly looks like a dirty tackle to Christen. The ref allows play to continue and Tobin slams her fist into the ground and gets up, determined to win the ball back. She sprints after the Villanova player, getting an arm over her shoulder and throwing her to the ground before jumping over her and taking possession of the ball. The ref immediately whistles for a foul and Tobin shouts in frustration, kicking the ball up into her hands and spiking it into the ground. The whistle blows again and the ref waves Tobin over, reaching into his pocket. Cheney runs over, immediately arguing against a booking but the ref waves her off and produces first the yellow card, followed by the red. Tobin doesn’t even react, just turns on her heel and walks towards the sidelines.

Anson is waiting for her at the sideline and goes to put his arm around her shoulders and lean in to talk to her, but Tobin shrugs him off, stalking towards the soccer building. ARod jumps up from the bench, grabbing her crutches and follows after Tobin as quickly as she can. Villanova takes their free kick and Christen tries to redirect her attention and focus on the game, listening to Becky bark orders at the team, shifting them into a 3 back to compensate for their lost winger.

They hold on to their lead and head into the locker room at halftime up 1-0. Tobin and ARod are nowhere to be found, but the trashcan is knocked over, the chair usually in front of Tobin’s locker is flung across the floor carelessly, and Tobin’s locker is a mess. Anson, Cheney, and Becky all give pep talks at half time, reminding the team that 10 of them will need to do the work of 11 players to hold on to their lead and get the win.

Christen struggles to remain focused on the game and she knows she’s not playing well, but the team is able to hold off Villanova’s attack and the game ends 1-0. The vibe in the locker room is celebratory but it is less hyped than usual. Christen is packing up her bag, ready to go eat a late lunch and put the game behind her, when she hears Cheney’s voice next to her. “Christen, can you hang back? I need to talk to you.”

Christen groans internally, already knowing what this is going to be about, but she smiles and nods, zipping her bag. The locker room starts to empty out and Cheney beckons for Christen to follow her out and into the empty meeting room. Cheney shuts the door behind them and sighs, turning to face Christen. “Look, I don’t really want to be involved in whatever it is you and Tobin have going on and I know that I only know one side of the story based on what Tobin’s told me. As Tobin’s best friend there’s a lot that I would like to say to you right now, but I’m also your friend and I respect you and I’m trusting that you wouldn’t deliberately do anything to hurt her or fuck with her feelings. But as your captain I’m telling you that you guys need to figure this out. It’s one thing for you guys to have your issues off the field but when it spills onto the field and affects your play and the team’s performance, it’s not okay. So, just do me a favor and take care of this before the next game? Tobin is at our apartment with ARod and I’m sure she’s cooled down by now so do you want to ride back with me? Or do you need some time?”

Christen weighs her options. She’d like to say that she needs more time and avoid Tobin but she knows that Cheney is right and they need to talk. She decides that it’s probably better to just get it over with. “I can ride back with you now,” she answers reluctantly.

 

Christen follows Cheney into the apartment, anxious about talking to Tobin. She can see into the living room and Tobin is sprawled on the couch, her head in ARod’s lap and bags of ice on her knee and on her hand. They’re talking quietly but stop when Cheney shuts the front door behind them. “Cheney? Can you make me a PB&J?” Tobin calls from her spot on the couch. Cheney puts her bag down and walks further into the apartment.

“Make your own Tobs. Amy, come to the store with me?”

“Why?” ARod asks, confused. 

“I need your help,” Cheney insists, walking around the couch and giving ARod a pointed look, nodding her head towards Christen, who awkwardly stands in the entryway, a few feet behind the couch. ARod follows Cheney’s gaze, looking over her shoulder and seeing Christen.

“Ohh, yeah, I do need to go to the store,” she says, standing and putting a throw pillow under Tobin’s head before grabbing her crutches.

“What? Wait, what about me? I’ll come too,” Tobin says, clearly not happy about losing her headrest.

“No Tobs, you stay here,” Cheney says quickly, walking to the front door with ARod.

“Huh? Why? I don’t want to stay here by myself,” Tobin protests, sitting up to look over the top of the couch. Her gaze falls on Christen and her eyes widen in surprise before she narrows them and clenches her jaw. “Cheney, what the fuck-” she grits out, her eyes on Christen as Cheney and ARod open the front door to leave.

“We’ll be back in a little while,” Cheney calls, walking out the front door after ARod.

“CHENEY, WAIT,” Tobin shouts, dropping the bag of ice on her hand to the floor before ripping the other ice bag off her knee and scrambling to get up. When the front door closes, Tobin huffs and falls back onto the couch. Christen sighs, putting her bag down and walking into the living room. She sits down on the couch next to Tobin and tries not to feel offended when she scoots as far away from her as she can get, not even bothering to look up at her. They sit quietly for a few moments, Christen trying to think about what to say and Tobin focusing on putting the ice back on.

“Are you okay?” Christen finally asks, gesturing towards Tobin’s knee and hand. Tobin freezes, before slowly turning her head to look at Christen.

“Why are you here?” she asks flatly, ignoring Christen’s question.

Christen is taken aback for a moment as she tries to think of a response. “Because we need to talk,” she finally answers.

“Okay, so talk,” Tobin answers, studying Christen’s face.

“Why are you so upset with me?” Christen asks softly, not looking Tobin in the eyes.

“Why did you let me kiss you?” Tobin spits, again ignoring Christen’s question.

Christen looks at Tobin, puzzled by the question. “Let you? What do you mean?”

Tobin sighs and shakes her head, not looking at Christen. “You said I could kiss you. Why would you do that? You could have just said no. You could have just told me that you’re straight and I wouldn’t have done it. Why did you let me kiss you?” she asks again, her voice sounding strangled as she runs a hand through her hair and chews her bottom lip.

Christen studies Tobin’s profile, completely caught off guard. “I’m not straight,” she says in a small voice, looking down at her lap and spinning the ring on her finger around, missing the look Tobin sends her way at the statement. “And I didn’t just _let_ you kiss me, I wanted you to kiss me, Tobin. I kissed you back,” she emphasizes, her voice a little stronger as she looks up at Tobin again.

Tobin glances at Christen, her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her expression unreadable and Christen is surprised to see her eyes clouded with tears that threaten to spill over her lids. She scoots a little closer to Tobin and is encouraged when Tobin doesn’t move away. “Did you think I didn’t want you to kiss me?” she asks softly. 

Tobin shakes her head, blinking back tears. “You said it was wrong,” she whispers.

“I meant the timing, Tobs. And just the situation I guess, I don’t know. I just, I remembered that you had another girl over Wednesday night, and...I don’t know. You kiss a lot of girls and I don’t,” she rambles.

Tobin turns her body towards Christen so she’s almost sideways, one leg tucked up and the other hanging off the couch. “But I don’t have to,” she says quickly. “I don’t have to kiss any other girls.”

Christen turns on the couch as well, mirroring Tobin’s position and looks at her, surprised. “What do you mean?”

Tobin shrugs, looking down and picking at the number on her shorts, her cheeks and ears red. “I just mean I could stop. Like if you didn’t want me to kiss any other girls then I could do that. I didn’t know it bothered you. I don’t have to be with anyone else. Like if you still wanted me to kiss you, I mean,” she mumbles.

“You still want to kiss me?” Christen asks, trying to hide the shock in her voice.

Tobin laughs a little, pulling her hair over one shoulder. “Yeah. I like you Chris. A lot. I thought that was pretty obvious.” 

Now it’s Christen’s turn to blush and she looks down at her hands, glancing back up at Tobin briefly. “I like you too,” she says quietly.

“And you’re definitely not straight?” Tobin clarifies.

Christen shakes her head, still blushing. “No, definitely not.”

“Good. That’s good,” Tobin nods and Christen can practically hear the smile in her voice.

They sit in silence for a few moments, neither of them knowing what to say next. Christen glances over at Tobin who’s smiling to herself and moving the bags of ice off her knee and hand and onto the coffee table. Christen is glad they seem okay but she also has this nagging feeling that they haven’t really accomplished anything besides confirming that Christen isn’t straight and Tobin wants to kiss her and that they both like each other. She wants to ask Tobin where they go from here, but before she has the chance, Tobin’s phone starts to vibrate on the coffee table and she leans forward to grab it. She turns it towards Christen with an apologetic smile. “It’s Allie and Alex, I promised we could face time after our game and before their game,” she explains.

Christen nods her head. “Go ahead and answer, it’s okay,” she says with a smile.

She’s about to get up but Tobin’s hand on her leg stops her. “Stay here, you can talk to them with me,” she says, as she accepts the face time request and waits for it to connect.

Christen scoots closer to Tobin’s side as Allie and Alex’s faces fill the screen. “HARRY!” Allie shrieks upon seeing Tobin’s face. 

Tobin just laughs. “Sup Har. Hi baby horse.”

“Hiya Toby,” Alex quips, her face squished in next to Allies. “How’d your game go?”

Tobin’s smile falters a bit. “It was okay. We won. Look who’s here with me,” she says, wrapping an arm around Christen’s shoulders and pulling her closer so they’re both in the frame and then leaving her arm draped over her shoulders casually.

“Hi Christen!” they both exclaim, waving. “Did you score a hat trick again today?” Alex asks, a bright smile on her face.

Christen laughs and shakes her head. “No, not today.”

“She did have an assist though! On our only goal,” Tobin points out, squeezing Christen’s shoulder and smiling at her.

“An assist? She’s doing your job now too, Harry?” Allie teases. “Did you at least get the goal?”

Tobin looks back to her phone and shakes her head. “No. I, uh, got something else today,” she says, looking around instead of focusing on the phone, her fingers slowly tracing patterns on Christen’s shoulder through her t shirt.

“Something else? What’d you get Tob?” Alex asks.

Tobin leans her head back on the couch and chews her bottom lip, her fingers still moving idly on Christen’s shoulder. “Uh, a red card,” she admits, her voice going up on the last word, making it sound like a question.

“Holy shit Har, you got a red card? What did you do?” Allie asks in disbelief.

“It was stupid,” Tobin sighs, shaking her head. “Two stupid fouls. But listen, Chris and I were about to go get something to eat. Call me tomorrow to tell me about your game?”

“Alright, but you’re not getting off that easy. You better tell us about the red card tomorrow. Bye Christen! Bye Toby, love you,” Alex waves.

“Bye Christen! Bye Harry! We love you!” Allie yells, pushing Alex out of the frame.

Christen waves, still tucked into Tobin’s side. “Bye guys, love you too,” Tobin says, ending the call and tossing her phone onto the coffee table. She keeps her arm draped around Christen’s shoulders and smiles at her. She squeezes her shoulder, pulling into her side, before releasing her and standing up. “So I said that we were going to get something to eat to end the face time but I really am starving. You wanna go grab lunch? Or dinner, I guess?” she asks, holding a hand out for Christen.

Christen grins back at her and places her hand in Tobin’s, allowing her to help her off the couch. “Sure, what do you want?”

Tobin smiles widely, still holding Christen’s hand. “Burgers?” she asks hopefully.

Christen shrugs, more focused on Tobin’s hand in her own and how close they are standing. “Burgers sound good,” she answers.

Tobin releases her hand and pulls her into a hug. She snakes one arm behind Christens lower back, gripping her hip, and the other across her upper back, pulling her entire body flush to Tobin’s front. The hug lingers for longer than a casual hug between friends, but not long enough for Christen’s liking. Tobin pulls back, grinning and turns, limping around the couch. “Tobs, is your knee okay? How’d you hurt it?” Christen asks, watching Tobin walk gingerly towards the front door.

“Just banged up from hitting it on the ground when I got tackled. It’ll be okay, just gunna have a bruise,” Tobin shrugs, sitting down on the floor to pull her sneakers on.

Christen picks up the melted bags of ice from the coffee table, grabbing Tobin’s phone for her as well and walking towards her in the entry way. “What about your hand?” she asks, holding Tobin’s phone out to her.

Tobin grabs it and looks at her hand before looking up at Christen with a sheepish grin. “I hit it on the ground after the tackle and then I punched the locker room door,” she admits, quickly looking back down at her shoes, her cheeks pink.

Christen shakes her head, walking behind Tobin through the kitchen doorway, to put the bags of ice in the sink.

 

Her and Tobin walk slowly down the hallway together. Christen studies Tobin’s profile after they step into the elevator. “Tobs, is it my fault you got the red card today?” she asks quietly, nervous about the answer.

Tobin’s brow furrows in thought and she looks over at Christen, quiet for a moment before shaking her head. “No. I committed the fouls, not you. I just had a bad game and I guess I like lost control there for a little bit. It happens,” she shrugs.

“Yeah, but you were upset because of me,” Christen objects.

Tobin nods slowly as they walk out of the elevator. “A little, yeah. But I was mostly upset with myself. And I was pissed because I found out yesterday that I’m not getting called into the national team camp next week. I guess Jill wants to look at some NWSL players and decided to let me stay here so I don’t miss any of our games but still, I haven’t missed a camp since the Olympics and I don’t want to lose my spot to anyone. And now I can’t even play in our next game,” she complains, kicking at a rock as they walk out of the apartment building and down the sidewalk.

“Why were you upset with yourself? And I don’t think you could lose your spot Tobs. You’re not replaceable,” she reassures.

“Thanks. And I was upset with myself because…I don’t know. I thought that you were straight and that I was crushing on a straight girl. After I kissed you, you said that it was wrong and I thought you meant like-” she pauses, drawing in a deep breath and taking a hair tie off her wrist to pull her wavy locks up into a messy half bun. “I thought you meant being gay is wrong,” she admits, pulling her lanyard out of her backpack and unlocking her jeep.

Christen pauses, standing next to Tobin on the driver’s side. “Oh Tobin, of course I didn’t mean that. I wish you would have just talked to me about it.”

Tobin shrugs, hesitating with her hand on the door handle. “I didn’t really know what to say or do. I don’t know, you kinda rushed out of my room in a panic and didn’t seem like you were up for conversation,” she mutters.

Christen nods, “You’re right. I should have talked to you instead of panicking and running away. I’m sorry about that.”

Tobin shrugs again, smiling at Christen. “Don’t worry about it, we talked about it now,” she says, tugging the drivers side door open.

Christen turns to walk around the jeep to the passenger side. They may have talked about it, but Christen is still confused about where they stand. Tobin seems content and Christen is just happy that they are no longer upset with each other, so she tries to ignore her obsessive need to label things and plan ahead. She looks over at Tobin, who slides on a pair of sunglasses and shoots an easy smile at Christen, throwing the jeep in reverse, and Christen decides that they’ve talked enough for right now. She thinks it’s okay to want to just enjoy Tobin’s company for a little while before they try to figure anything else out.

Tobin dangles her left hand over the steering wheel, and reaches over the center console with her right. She finds Christen’s hand in her lap and laces their fingers together casually, resting their joined hands on Christen’s bare thigh as she drives, as if they do this all the time. Christen looks over at Tobin, who has her eyes on the road, but a smile playing on her lips.

Christen likes the feeling of holding her hand and she thinks they fit together perfectly. It feels right, having Tobin’s hand in her own. Her ex had big hands, his skin slightly calloused from sports and working out, and Christen’s hand always felt so small in his. Holding his hand always became uncomfortable after a few minutes, leading her to pull her hand back. Tobin’s hand however, doesn’t dwarf Christen’s admittedly petite hand. Her hand is a tiny bit bigger than Christen’s but it is slender and her skin is soft and she holds Christen’s hand gently, as if she’s afraid she might break it. Christen looks down at their hands, smiling at the fact that they both wear similar gold rings on their right middle fingers. Hers is a simple gold band that her parents had given her on her sixteenth birthday with a matching gold nameplate necklace. She had retired the nameplate necklace, but still wears the ring proudly. She picks their hands up to get a closer look a Tobin’s ring. “Tobs is this Cartier?” she asks, surprised, knowing that the ring costs almost two thousand dollars.

Tobin glances over and nods. “Yeah, it’s a love ring,” she answers with a wink, looking back at the road. Christen runs her finger over the ring before letting their joined hands come back to rest on her thigh, resisting the sudden urge she gets to bring them up to her mouth and kiss Tobin’s hand.

Tobin takes them to the same burger place that she had taken Christen the first time they hung out during pre season. She releases Christen’s hand when she pulls into the parking lot and Christen misses the warmth and weight of Tobin’s hand in her own. They walk down the sidewalk together, shoulders occasionally bumping and hands brushing against each other more times than they would by chance. Christen isn’t brave enough to just grab Tobin’s hand so they continue with the casual touches all the way to the small burger shack.

“Go get a table and I’ll order first then I’ll save the table while you order,” Tobin says as she pushes through the door into the small restaurant. She comes out a little while later carrying a tray loaded with food. “I decided to just order for you so you wouldn’t have to wait. I got us sweet potato and regular fries to share. And I got you a veggie burger, no onions, and a chocolate shake. I got you a bottle of water too, in case you’re thirsty,” she says, placing the tray in the middle of the table.

Christen looks up at Tobin in awe. “You remembered my order?” she whispers.

Tobin shrugs, sliding into her seat across from Christen and grabbing the other chocolate shake off the tray, popping the lid off. “It’s not really a complicated order, Chris. No big deal,” she says nonchalantly, with an easy smile. Christen just shakes her head, hiding her huge smile with a bite of her burger.

The conversation flows easily while they eat and continues even after all the food is gone. Christen is surprised when she looks at her phone and sees that almost two hours have passed since they left campus. “Tobs it’s already after five. We should head back. I have a bunch of homework to do and I’m meeting Alyssa at the library to study for our math exam tomorrow,” she says reluctantly.

“Oh man, it’s past five?” Tobin groans, looking at her wrist as if to check the time even though she’s not wearing a watch. “I’m supposed meet Cheney and ARod at Wilson to finish a bio lab report at 5:30. What library are you going to?”

Christen stands and starts piling their trash on to the tray. “UL. We should hurry up or you’re gunna be late.”

Tobin nods her head. “I’ll drop you off at the suite, I gotta go back to Cheney and ARod’s to get my backpack.”

The drive back to campus is spent in comfortable silence, Tobin again holding Christen’s hand as she drives. She pulls into the parking lot behind their building, throwing the jeep in park near the door and hopping out. She jogs around the front of the jeep and opens Christen’s door for her before she has the chance. She slams the door shut once Christen hops out and turns, pulling Christen into a hug. “Thanks for dinner,” Christen mumbles, hugging Tobin back.

Tobin squeezes her once more before pulling back. “No problem. Have fun studying. Text me, okay?” she says, walking backwards towards the driver’s side as Christen nods and walks to their building.

 

A few hours later, Christen is sitting in the library done with all of her work besides studying and she cracks open her math textbook, hoping to catch up to Alyssa, who has been next to her doing practice problems for 45 minutes already. She picks up her pencil and is about to bring it to her paper when her phone buzzes and distracts her.

 

**Tobs** : How’s studying going? I’m done

 

She smiles down at her phone before answering.

 

**Christen:** Just started. Already need a coffee break.

**Tobs:** lol how long are you gunna be at the UL? 

**Christen:** Couple hours probably. I feel pretty prepared, just need to review.

 

Tobin doesn’t answer right away and Christen locks her phone, putting it down on the table and starts working through the practice problems for the chapter, comparing her work to Alyssa’s.

She’s done four of the thirty problems when her phone buzzes again.

 

**Tobs:** Look up

 

Christen’s brow furrows as she looks up from her phone, glancing around. Her face splits into a smile when she spots Tobin walking towards her table, balancing two stacked coffee cups in one hand and carrying a white paper bag in the other. Tobin returns the grin, stopping in front of the table.

“Hey,” she says softly, beaming at Christen. She puts the cups down, handing the top one out to Alyssa. “It’s just black cuz I wasn’t sure how you liked it. There’s cream and sugar and two blueberry muffins in here though,” she explains sliding the paper bag across the table.

“Thanks Tobin, you didn’t have to do that,” Alyssa smiles appreciatively, picking up the coffee.

Tobin just nods and returns the smile before holding the second cup out to Christen. “I’ll let you guys get back to work, just thought you could use a caffeine fix and some snacks.”

Christen takes the cup, still grinning stupidly at Tobin and takes a small sip, her eyes closing in appreciation at the taste. “You got me a cappuccino?” she asks, surprised.

Tobin laughs nervously and adjusts the snapback on her head. “Yeah, is it okay? I remembered you saying it was your favorite,” she asks, her cheeks turning pink.

Christen nods enthusiastically. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Tobin grins back at her. “No problem. I’m gunna go for a run. Good luck studying. I’ll see ya later,” she says waving at Alyssa before turning and walking back the way she came. Christen smiles at her back and watches her go, an undeniable swagger in her step, until she feels Alyssa’s eyes on her and tears her gaze away to look back down at her math book.

“So a cappuccino, huh?” Alyssa asks, in a knowing tone.

Christen nods and blushes at her book. “What’d you get for number four?” she asks, hoping to distract Alyssa.

Alyssa lets her off the hook, never one to be pushy or nosy, and shows Christen her work for the math problem. Christen checks hers, pleased that they got the same answer, and hands Alyssa her notebook back. She sips her cappuccino slowly, smiling to herself, and wonders if Tobin will ever stop surprising her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait so long!! I hope the wait was worth it!


	16. French toast is enough French

Christen and Alyssa finally finish studying and get back to the suite around 1am, mumbling through goodnights and going their separate ways to get ready for bed. Christen finishes up brushing her teeth and hesitates in the hallway, glancing over at Tobin’s closed bedroom door. She briefly considers going over and peeking into the room, but she ultimately decides against it. She knows that peeking into the room might cause her to end up just going and sleeping in Tobin’s bed, and she thinks it’s best that they have at least some distance until they figure out what’s going on between them. So, instead she heads to her own bed, falling asleep quickly.

She’s dragging the next morning, exhausted from playing most of the game the day before, then being at the library studying until after midnight. She turns off her alarm the first time it goes off, deciding to skip her morning run and yoga in favor of another 45 minutes of sleep, and sets another alarm. She snoozes the second alarm a few times, before finally dragging herself out of bed. She checks the time, realizing that she had let herself snooze longer than intended and she only has twenty minutes before she has to leave for class. She throws on a pair of jean shorts and a UNC t shirt, and braids her hair, not having time to do anything else. She quickly finishes getting ready, checking the time and seeing that she needs to leave in 5 minutes.

She pauses outside of Tobin’s door, planning to wake her up, but hesitating when she remembers the last time she went to wake Tobin up for class. She finally takes a deep breath and knocks before opening the door a crack. She tries to peer into the darkened room through the barely opened door, but can’t see anything. “Tobin? You up?” she asks cautiously, pushing the door open a little bit more. She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees Tobin alone, sprawled on her stomach across the middle of the bed, her blankets tangled and thrown off her.

Christen walks closer and puts her hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “Tobs, wake up. We have to leave for class in like 2 minutes,” she says, lightly jostling Tobin. 

Tobin wrinkles her nose, squeezing her eyes shut even tighter. “Let’s skip,” she grumbles sleepily.

“No. Come on, we can’t skip. Get up,” Christen objects, jostling Tobin’s shoulder again.

Tobin groans and rolls over onto her back, bringing her hands up to rub her eyes. “Please? I’ll take you out for breakfast. It’s not like she ever takes attendance anyway,” she mutters through a yawn.

Christen considers for a moment. Tobin is right, it’s a huge lecture class and no one would even know if they weren’t there. The professor is one of the few that seems to not care, or not notice, when students skip. Plus she hasn’t had time to eat or make coffee and Tobin is pouting at her sleepily and she finds herself caving.

“We really should go to class though,” she makes one last feeble attempt at convincing Tobin that they shouldn’t skip.

Tobin stretches her arms out to the sides then runs a hand through her messy hair. “Pretty Pressy. Remember that time when I didn’t wanna get up and you said if I did I can have whatever I want? Well what I want is to skip this stupid boring class and take you out for breakfast instead,” she claims with a grin. 

“Ugh, fine. But only because I’m hungry and I really need coffee,” she relents, her face breaking into a smile as she rolls her eyes and Tobin pumps her fist in victory.

 

Five minutes later, Christen finds herself sitting in the passenger seat of Tobin’s Jeep, laughing as Tobin enthusiastically sings along to the radio. At a stop light Tobin reaches over to grab Christen’s hand and holds it for the rest of the drive, only dropping it to parallel park on the busy street. Christen gets out onto the sidewalk, glancing around and wondering where they are heading. Tobin walks around the front of the Jeep and pauses to wait for Christen. “This way Pressy,” she prods, gesturing towards Christen’s left. Christen follows her down the sidewalk until they stop in front of an old storefront with a blue awning.

“Carolina Coffee Shop?” Christen asks, looking up at the letters above the awning.

“Yupp,” Tobin answers, holding the door open for Christen. “I heard they have really good coffee and I know how seriously you take your coffee, so I thought I’d let you be the judge of how good it is.”

Turns out the coffee there is delicious. It’s a small rustic bar and restaurant with exposed brick walls and wooden booths and Christen loves it almost immediately. She orders an omelet, while Tobin opts for French toast, bacon, and a side of strawberries, that she promises to share with Christen. They’re sipping their coffee and chatting while waiting for their food to arrive, when a girl who looks about their age walks over and stops next to their table. “Hi, sorry to bother you but you’re Tobin Heath,” the girl says, interrupting Tobin.

Tobin raises her eyebrows and looks up at the girl. “Uh yeah, that’s me,” Tobin says, smiling.

“Sorry, I’m a big fan. Do you think I could get a picture with you? And maybe an autograph?” she asks, hopefully.

Tobin nods, signing the brim of the girl’s hat before standing up and letting Christen take a picture of them on the girl’s phone. “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to watch you play in the Mexico games.”

Tobin’s smile falters and Christen can see her clench her jaw before she puts the smile back on her face and looks back over at the girl. “I actually won’t be with the team for the Mexico games. I’m going to stay here with my UNC team instead,” she explains as the waiter walks up with their food.

“Oh, okay,” the girl nods, stepping to the side for the waiter. “Thanks for the autograph and picture, sorry to interrupt your date!”

Christen’s eyes widen at the statement and she can feel her cheeks turning pink already as she looks up to see Tobin’s reaction. Tobin starts laughing and shakes her head. “No! It’s not a date, this is my teammate,” she exclaims through her laughter, gesturing towards Christen.

The girl grins sheepishly at Christen and shrugs. “Right, sorry. Enjoy your breakfast,” she says, before turning and walking away. Christen looks down at her omelet, embarrassed and honestly, disappointed and hurt at the way Tobin had laughed off the idea that this could be a date. She thinks to herself that maybe she’s reading the situation wrong. Maybe Tobin doesn’t like her the way she likes Tobin, maybe she just wants to kiss Christen and nothing more. She frowns at her plate, picking at her omelet with her fork.

Tobin’s voice pulls Christen from her thoughts. “This French toast is so bomb. You wanna try it?” she asks excitedly, apparently oblivious to Christen’s distress. 

Christen forces a small smile and shakes her head, before starting to eat her omelet. They eat mostly in silence, Tobin occasionally breaking it with comments here and there. When they are done and they finish splitting the check, Christen glances at her phone. “We should go. I have class in like 40 minutes and I need to get my books from the suite.”

“Yeah, I have French class but I feel like eating French toast is enough French for one day. Wanna skip again?” she asks, smiling at Christen hopefully from across the table.

“I can’t,” Christen answers simply, sipping the rest of her coffee and standing to leave. Tobin gets up as well, trailing behind Christen as they walk back to the Jeep. The drive back to campus is quiet, with only the sound of the radio playing. Tobin steals glances at Christen pretty often while she drives, but Christen focuses on her phone and staring out the window.

When they get back campus, Tobin pulls into a spot behind their building and takes off her sunglasses. Christen unbuckles her seatbelt and reaches for the door handle. Before she can get out of the Jeep, she feels Tobin’s hand on her thigh, stopping her. She looks down at her hand before looking over at Tobin’s face. Tobin looks at her with a concerned expression. “Chris, what’s going on? You barely said a word to me all breakfast. Did I do something wrong?” she asks in a small voice, pulling her hand back.

Christen sighs, realizing that she had been about to run away from confrontation again and shakes her head. “No, you didn’t do anything,” she starts. Part of her still wants to leave it at that and get out of the Jeep, but if she’s learned anything from their previous misunderstandings, it’s that she needs to have the courage to talk about things that bother her instead of just fleeing. So, she takes a deep breath and continues. “I was just thrown off by that girl saying it was a date and you laughing like that was an outrageous idea.”

Tobin looks at Christen, a puzzled expression on her face and her head cocked to one side in a way that reminds Christen of Khaleesi as a puppy. She’s quiet for a few minutes and Christen waits patiently, looking at her expectantly. “It’s not outrageous?” she finally asks, her eyes wide. “Did you want to go on a date? With me?” she continues, her voice laced with surprise and confusion and her head still cocked in that adorable way.

Christen laughs incredulously, frustrated and in disbelief that Tobin is really this oblivious. She stops laughing when Tobin’s face falls and she looks away from Christen, back down at her lap. Christen takes a deep breath and gathers her courage, determined to talk about this instead of leaving. “Do you not want to go on a date with me? What do you want Tobin?” she asks softly, studying Tobin’s profile as she looks down at her hands.

Tobin shrugs, which seems to be her favorite response in any situation, and glances at Christen, her bottom lip between her teeth and her expression unreadable, before looking back down. Christen waits patiently for Tobin to speak, not letting her off the hook that easy. Tobin finally sighs and glances over at Christen again before speaking. “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before,” she says, so quietly that Christen can barely hear. 

Christen doesn’t answer for a moment, not sure if she had heard Tobin right and not sure if Tobin is going to continue. “Done what?” Christen questions after a few moments, confused by Tobin’s statement and struggling to hide the frustration in her tone.

Tobin fidgets with the hem of her t shirt and looks out the window before looking back at Christen, not fully meeting her eyes. She grabs her sunglasses out of the cup holder and puts them back on. “Don’t you have class?” she asks indifferently, ignoring Christen’s question and gesturing at the time displayed on the dashboard.

Christen looks at the time and realizes that she does need to go if she doesn’t want to be late. She sighs, unsatisfied with how the conversation has gone. “Yeah. I better go. Can we finish this conversation later? Like tonight after dinner?” 

Tobin nods, looking straight through the windshield. “Yeah, okay,” she answers, quietly.

Christen moves to get out of the Jeep but hesitates and looks back at Tobin. “Wait, don’t you have class now too? French?”

Tobin nods, looking back at Christen with her eyes hidden behind her shades. “Yeah but I’m not going,” she says, casually.

“Why?” Christen questions.

Tobin shrugs, looking straight ahead again. “Don’t feel like it I guess,” she says, yawning.

“You shouldn’t skip Tobin. You need to pass your classes to play,” she says, echoing Cheney’s concerns from the beginning of the semester.

Tobin laughs humorlessly and shakes her head. “It’s one class Christen, relax. You should go unless you’re skipping too,” she says, with a bit of an edge to her voice.

Christen gets out of the Jeep without another word, confused as to how the conversation had gone so poorly. She spends the rest of the day in a bit of a funk, struggling to pay attention in class, replaying the conversation in her mind and trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

At training that night, she can’t help but look for a familiar messy brown ponytail even though she knows that Tobin, Cheney, and ARod have a lab and are never at Monday practices. She grabs dinner with Kelley after training, both of them walking slowly to the dining hall on sore legs.

They don’t say much on the walk over or while getting their food, both tired and seemingly lost in their own thoughts. When they sit down at a table in the corner, Kelley finally breaks the silence. “So, do you wanna talk about it? Or no?” she asks casually, stealing a cherry tomato off of Christen’s salad and popping it into her mouth.

Christen sighs and nods before filling Kelley in on everything that had transpired between her and Tobin over the past few days. Kelley listens quietly, asking clarifying questions when necessary and nodding along while Christen talks. “And now I have no idea what to do. She said we could talk tonight but I don’t even know what to say. She’s so frustrating,” Christen finishes, propping her head up on her hand, her elbow on the table.

“Yeah, sounds confusing. Do you think she was looking for like a friends with benefits type of thing?” Kelley asks, gulping down the last of her chocolate milk.

Christen shakes her head, thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I don’t really think so, but maybe? She looked so confused, like she thought the idea of dating me is crazy but I thought that’s what she wanted. She said she likes me.”

“Well is it what you want? Do you want to date her?”

Christen nods slowly. “Yeah, I mean I think so. I really like her,” she admits, blushing.

“I think you should just tell her that CP. Do you wanna head back so you can talk to her now?” Kelley asks.

Christen nods, getting up and grabbing her plate and empty cup, and following Kelley away from the table.

Christen starts to get more nervous as they get closer to the suite. When they walk through the door, she says hi to JJ and Alyssa, who are sitting on the couch, watching TV, and continues down the hallway towards Tobin’s room. Tobin’s door is open and Christen peers into the room, sighing when she finds it empty. She walks back into the living room and plops down in the chair, glancing at the Alyssa and JJ before redirecting her gaze to the television. “Have either of you seen Tobin today?” she asks, trying to sound casual.

“Yeah, she was here like 20 minutes ago but not for long. She just came in and got a bag from her room and left,” Julie explains, most of her attention engrossed in whatever show is on TV. Christen can feel Alyssa’s gaze on her and does her best to seem nonchalant as she nods and takes her phone from her pocket.

 

**Christen:** Hey, I’m in the room if you want to talk now?

 

She drops her phone into her lap and watches TV with JJ and Alyssa while waiting for a response. She has sat through an episode of The Bachelor, after which Alyssa went to bed, and two episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians, when JJ tosses her the remote. “I’m going to bed, you can change this if you want. Night Chris,” JJ says before heading down the hallway.

Christen sighs and checks her phone for might be the hundredth time that night, disappointed, but not surprised, to see no response.

 

**Christen:** I’m going to bed. I guess we can just talk tomorrow or something

 

She doesn’t expect a response as she goes through the motions of getting ready for bed, and she doesn’t get a response. She slips under the covers and closes her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep. She tosses and turns, thoughts of Tobin filling her mind and preventing her from falling asleep. However, she must fall asleep eventually because the next thing she knows she’s being pulled from her slumber by something brushing against her cheek. She turns her head, trying to fall back asleep when she feels a weight on her shoulder. “Chris, wake up,” a familiar whisper tickles her ear and she turns her head in it’s direction, opening one eye to find it’s source.

The room is dark and she can hardly see anything but someone is standing next to her bed. Christen closes her eye again, trying to pull herself from sleep and figure out what’s going on. The weight on her shoulder lifts and hair is brushed out of her face before the hand caresses her cheek. She opens both of her eyes at that, and squints into the darkness. “Tobin?” she whispers, confused and disoriented.

Even in the dark she can see white teeth grinning back at her. “Yeah, it’s me. Can you get up and come with me?” Tobin whispers, still caressing her face.

Christen blinks sleepily. “What? What time is it?”

Tobin shrugs. “Early. I wanna take you somewhere.”

Christen struggles to sit up, confused as to if she’s dreaming this. “Where? Why?” she whispers, her blankets falling to her waist.

Tobin pulls the blankets the rest of the way off, impatiently. “Just come with me?” she pleads in a soft voice.

Christen is too sleepy to resist as she swings her legs out of bed and puts her socks and sneakers on. When she’s done, Tobin grabs her hand, pulling her to her feet and out of her bedroom before turning and quietly closing the door behind her. They pit stop in the kitchen, where Tobin grabs a paper bag and a drink tray with two coffee cups off the counter. Christen yawns, looking at the microwave and seeing that its only 5:45am. She takes this in, blinking, before Tobin has her hand again and is pulling her towards the front door, dropping her hand to open the door before quickly lacing them together again and leading Christen down the hallway.

“Tobin. What are we doing? It’s so early,” she protests weakly, stumbling along after her, towards the stairwell.

Tobin throws a grin over her shoulder, turning back and leaning into the stairwell door to open it. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy,” she says softly, ignoring Christen’s questions and starting down the stairs. Christen shakes her head and follows along after Tobin, focusing on controlling her racing heart and enjoying the feeling of their hands laced together. 

It’s still dark out when they get into the parking lot and the air holds a chill that reminds Christen that fall is fast approaching. She shivers once as she shuffles through the parking lot with Tobin, her shorts and t shirt not enough to keep her warm. Her brow furrows as they continue through the parking lot, not walking to Tobin’s Jeep as she had expected. “Where are you taking me?” she asks, confused and cold.

“Just trust me,” Tobin smiles, squeezing her hand.

A few minutes later, Christen can barely hold in a laugh because their destination is so utterly Tobin. “The field? You dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night to take me to the field?” she asks incredulously.

Tobin grins sheepishly, pulling Christen along onto the darkened soccer field. She doesn’t go turn the track lights on, instead leading them through the damp grass towards the middle of the field. Christen can see a soccer ball waiting for them and she shakes her head in disbelief. “It’s not the middle of the night, Chris. It’s almost morning and I probably only beat your alarm by, what? A half hour?” Tobin asks.

Christen rolls her eyes but doesn’t answer because she’s right. Tobin leads them to the center circle and Christen is surprised to see a blanket spread on the ground next to the soccer ball. Tobin drops Christen’s hand and carefully puts down the drink tray and paper bag on the corner of the blanket before taking off her hoody, holding it out to Christen. “Put this on, you’re shivering,” she says, sitting down on the blanket.

Christen pulls the hoody over her head. It’s warm and it smells just like Tobin and Christen’s head spins as she pushes the hood back off her head and sits down next to Tobin on the blanket. Tobin hands her a coffee cup, before grabbing one for herself. Christen takes a sip of the hot liquid, distracted by the taste and smiling when she realizes that it's a cappuccino, before she remembers where they are. “Tobs, what are we doing?” she asks, turning her head to look at her with a furrowed brow.

Tobin takes a long sip of her coffee and looks thoughtfully out at the dark field, not answering Christen right away. She tucks the coffee cup between her outstretched legs and leans back on her hands, looking sideways at Christen before looking back out at the field. “I’m sorry,” she says softly after a few moments of silence.

“Why?” Christen asks, studying Tobin’s profile, watching Tobin’s throat move as she swallows.

Tobin sighs and turns her head to look Christen in the eyes before continuing. “For shutting down on you in the car yesterday and not coming to talk to you last night. I just panicked I guess,” she says, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes searching Christen’s face. 

Christen places her coffee cup off to the side of the blanket and scoots closer to Tobin. “Why did you panic? Talk to me now,” she says, reaching behind her and finding Tobin’s hand.

Tobin takes a deep breath and nods. She takes another sip of her coffee and puts it off to the side as well, turning her body slightly to face Christen and intertwining their fingers. She pulls Christen’s hand to her mouth kissing the back of her hand gently before letting them drop to the blanket between them and Christen thinks her heart might burst at the gesture. “I like you a lot,” she starts, looking down at their joined hands before looking back at Christen’s face, her eyes searching for an answer to a question she hasn’t asked.

Christen gives Tobin a small smile, encouraging her to continue. When Tobin brings her other hand up and runs it through her hair, chewing her bottom lip in a display of nervousness, Christen steps in. “I like you a lot too Tobin,” she says, rubbing her thumb over the back of Tobin’s hand, hoping that it will compel her to keep talking.

Tobin pulls in another shaky breath, looking down at their joined hands before meeting Christen’s eyes again. “I just…I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you and I’ve never been in a relationship, or at least not the type of relationship I want to have with you, and honestly I have no idea what I’m doing or what I’m supposed to be doing and I’m afraid that I’m gunna fuck it up and I really don’t want to fuck this up and I really really don’t wanna lose you Christen,” Tobin rushes out looking anywhere but at Christen, her voice starting off quiet and slow but reaching an almost hysterical level.

Christen’s eyes widen as Tobin talks and she turns her body even more to face her, sitting up onto her knees. She pulls her hand out of Tobin’s and brings both of her hands up to Tobin’s face, putting one on each cheek. She turns Tobin’s head so that she can look at her. Tobin is breathing heavily and her eyes are wild and panicked. “Hey hey, relax Tobs, it’s okay,” she soothes. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. You’re not gunna fuck anything up. We can figure this out together, okay? It’s gunna be okay, don’t worry,” she says softly, brushing her thumbs over Tobin’s cheekbones in an attempt to comfort her. 

Tobin nods, her breathing starting to return to normal. She puts her hands over Christen’s, grasping them and pulling them off of her cheeks. She pulls them down and around her waist before dropping them and wrapping her arms around Christen to pull her into a tight hug. Christen hugs Tobin back, enjoying her warmth. Tobin drops her head to Christen’s shoulder and Christen can feel her shaking a bit and thinks she must be freezing, having given Christen her sweatshirt. They hold each other for a few moments more before Tobin pulls back. Christen drops back down to sit at Tobin’s side and reaches for her cappuccino.

They sit in silence for a few moments, sipping their drinks, before Tobin breaks it. “So…do you wanna go out with me then? Like I could take you on dates and stuff?” she asks hesitantly.

Christen smiles into her coffee cup and nods. “Yeah, I’d really really like that Tobs,” she answers, looking over at Tobin with a smile.

Tobin grins widely back at her and nods. “Cool,” she says simply, sipping her coffee.

Christen can’t help but giggle at how hard Tobin is trying to seem casual and nonchalant. Tobin starts laughing too, her eyes crinkling at the corners and Tobin’s laugh is so contagious that soon they are both cracking up. “Why are you laughing at me?” Tobin gasps, wiping at her eyes.

“Because,” Christen struggles to talk while laughing. “Because you just asked me out at 6am in the middle of this soccer field and then said ‘cool’ when I said yes,” she chokes out, holding her stomach from laughing so hard.

Tobin grins and nods enthusiastically. “Yeah I know, it’s not funny Chris,” she says, trying and failing at seeming serious. “Why is it funny?”

Christen shakes her head and wipes her eyes, still giggling. “I don’t even know. It’s just so ridiculous and I’m tired and I can’t believe your response was ‘cool’,” she answers, finally regaining some control.

“But it is cool,” Tobin says, defending herself.

Christen starts laughing again and resists the urge to kiss the grin off Tobin’s face. Instead, she tries to keep a straight face and nods her head. “Yeah, super cool,” she says seriously.

Tobin rolls her eyes and shoves at Christen’s shoulder, smiling. “Whatever. I guess you don’t want one of these scones then,” she says, grabbing at the paper bag on the corner of the blanket that Christen had forgotten about.

Tobin opens the bag and the smell of the pastries makes Christen’s mouth water. “Alright, I’m sorry for laughing at you. May I please have a scone?” she asks, putting on a pout and using her best puppy dog eyes for effect.

Tobin rips the bag down the side and puts it down on the blanket, revealing three scones. “This one is apple cinnamon and this one is white chocolate raspberry and this one is blueberry,” she says, pointing to each one.

Christen studies each scone, trying to decide which she wants. After a few seconds, Tobin speaks up. “Wanna just split them all?” she asks.

Christen nods, smiling as Tobin breaks each scone in half. They talk quietly as they eat, commenting on which scone is the best (Tobin thinks apple cinnamon but Christen argues that the white chocolate raspberry is better) and sipping their drinks between bites. When they’re all done, Tobin crumples up the bag and puts it into her empty coffee cup. She lies down on the blanket, her hands folded underneath her head, and looks up at the sky, which is just starting to turn from a deep blue to gray with the impending dawn. Christen finishes her cappuccino and lies down on her back as well.

“I really am sorry about yesterday, Chris,” Tobin says, seriously. Christen turns on her side, propping her head up with one hand to look at Tobin.

“It’s okay. But if we wanna make this work we need to talk to each other when things come up or when we feel confused or unsure. No more shutting down and no more running away,” Christen says, reminding herself just as much as she’s reminding Tobin.

Tobin turns onto her side as well, mirroring Christen’s position. “I can’t promise that I’m gunna be good at this. Actually, I’m almost positive that I’m gunna suck at it but I promise I’ll do my best, okay? No shutting down or running away,” she says, holding her free hand in between them with the pinky out.

Christen grins at the gesture and wraps her own pinky around Tobin’s in a pinky promise. “We hafta kiss it. To seal the promise,” she says, remembering childhood pinky promises with Tyler and Channing, and leaning in to kiss her own thumb to seal her end of the promise. Tobin raises her eyebrows and looks to where their pinkies are still looped. “Now you have to kiss it,” she says, looking at Tobin expectantly.

Tobin leans in and kisses her thumb before turning her gaze to Christen. “I’d rather just kiss you to seal the promise instead,” she says softly, smiling at Christen in the soft light of the early morning.

Christen’s heart beats erratically and she can feel her cheeks heat up as she looks back at Tobin. “I think that works too,” she whispers, her gaze flickering between Tobin’s eyes and mouth. Tobin releases her pinky and puts her hand on Christen’s waist, leaning in. She kisses Christen softly and sweetly, but all too briefly for Christen’s liking, before pulling back and grinning at her.

“Does that seal the promise?” she asks quietly. Christen’s eyes flutter open and she nods, the kiss leaving her momentarily at a loss for words. “Good,” Tobin whispers, leaning forward and pecking her on the lips once more before rolling over onto her back again. She puts one hand under her head and holds the other out towards Christen. “Come here,” she says, gesturing for Christen to come closer.

Christen obliges and scoots over to Tobin’s side, lying down with her head on Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin wraps her arm around her and softly kisses her temple. “Sorry I woke you up so early. But honestly you don’t need extra beauty rest, any more and you might actually kill me,” she jokes.

Christen rolls her eyes and giggles. “That was corny. But it’s okay. How come you woke me up for this though? Why didn’t you just wait til later?” she asks, looking up at the sky.

“Last night, I whined to Cheney and ARod for hours and they basically told me to stop being a baby and to grow up and just talk to you about it and tell you how I feel. So I wanted to do that in like a cool and romantic way. But I couldn’t sleep and I just couldn’t wait any longer so I thought this would have to do,” she explains.

“Why here?” Christen asks, glancing around at the soccer field they’re lying in the middle of, hoping that no one can see them now that the sun is starting to come up.

“Cuz the soccer field feels more like home than any home I ever had and it’s where I feel most like myself. I was a little nervous and I thought I’d do better if I was somewhere that I feel comfortable,” Tobin replies and Christen can feel her shrug her shoulders. 

Christen leans up and presses a kiss into the underside of Tobin’s jaw before putting her head back down on her shoulder. “You did fine Tobs. And this was 'like cool and romantic'. I’m glad you woke me up for this.”

“Worth it?” Tobin asks, the smile evident in her voice.

Christen finds herself smiling as well. “Worth it,” she affirms. 

They lay in silence for a few minutes but Christen sits up when she feels Tobin shivering. “We should go back to the suite. You’re shivering and we probably have to get ready for class soon anyway,” she says, reluctantly.

Tobin sits up as well, shaking her head. “Nah, we still have plenty of time. The sunrise today is 6:58, I checked. And it’s just now rising so we still have like 3 hours til class,” she argues.

“You checked the time of the sunrise? Why?” Christen asks.

Tobin shrugs, grinning sheepishly. “So that we could be on the field for it? I know it’s not as cool as watching the sunrise over the ocean but I figured the soccer field is the next best place.”

Christen shakes her head, smiling at Tobin’s thoughtfulness. “Yeah, it’s perfect Tobs. But you’re still shivering so we should probably go back anyway.”

“No way, I can think of other ways to warm up,” Tobin replies, waggling her eyebrows and looking Christen up and down exaggeratedly.

Christen scoffs, her cheeks heating up immediately, and she leans forward, shoving Tobin’s shoulder. “I’m sure you could, but nothing I would do here in the middle of the field,” she retorts.

Tobin’s eyebrows go up and she gets to her feet. “I meant we could play soccer to warm up, Chris. What were you thinking?” she teases, tapping the soccer ball into the air and juggling it a few times.

Christen rolls her eyes and gets to her feet as well, kicking the ball away from Tobin who gasps and laughs, trying to get it back. They play keep away for a while, laughing and grabbing each other and acting silly. Christen is taking a breather and watching Tobin dribble and attempt, and succeed at, ridiculous juggling tricks, when she notices that the rest of campus has begun to wake up. There’s an older gentleman walking around the track and she can see two middle aged women in matching work out clothes heading down to the track as well. She sighs, wishing that they could have just a little longer in this almost magical bubble that she and Tobin have managed to create on the field, just the two of them. She walks back over to the blanket and starts shaking it out when Tobin jogs over, out of breath with the ball at her feet. “Ready to go?” she pants out.

Christen nods, folding up the blanket. Tobin picks up their empty coffee cups and jogs to the sideline, tossing them into a trash can before jogging back over. Christen tucks the blanket under her arm and they start the walk back to their dorm, Tobin kicking the ball along in front of them. After just a few steps, Tobin grabs Christen’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “That’s better,” she says quietly with a smile, as they leave the rising sun over the soccer field behind them and head back to the suite together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I wrote most of this drunk because I hate Valentine's day and wish I hated my ex and wine was the only solution lol and then Arsenal drove me to drink some more of that wine tonight so my proof reading skills may be slightly impaired. Hopefully I have understanding readers :) I haven't really been responding to comments because I've been traveling a lot and crazy busy lately but I do read them and appreciate them all! I'm better at responding on tumblr so hit me up there!


	17. I can't live like that

Tobin and Christen walk slowly back to the suite from the soccer field, their joined hands swinging between them. When they get to the their building, Christen looks at Tobin expectantly. Tobin looks back at her and raises an eyebrow. “What?” she asks, confused.

Christen gestures to the door. “I don’t have my ID,” she replies.

Tobin cocks her head to one side in confusion before a look of realization crosses her face. “Oh crap. Neither do I,” she admits, a sheepish grin on her face. 

Christen’s eyes widen. “What? How did you get in this morning?” she questions.

Tobin shrugs, the smile still playing at her lips. “Well, I _obviously_ had it then Christen,” she says patiently, as if speaking to a child.

Christen huffs in annoyance. “Well, where is it now Tobin?” she responds in the same tone, trying to keep a smile off her face.

Tobin shrugs and points at the door, laughing a little. “Probably in there, I guess.”

Christen smiles and shakes her head. “Alright, give me your phone and I’ll call Kelley to come down and let us in,” she says, holding her free hand out to Tobin.

Tobin looks at her hand, a guilty smile on her face. “I actually am not really sure where my phone is either. I think it’s maybe at Cheney and ARod’s,” she says slowly, her eyes studying Christen’s face, trying to gauge her reaction.

Christen can’t help but laugh. “I honestly don’t know how you survive Tobs,” she teases.

Tobin shrugs, a grin on her face. “I dunno either,” she admits. “I guess cuz I have Cheney and ARod and you to help me out.”

Christen laughs, not even that upset that they’re stuck outside on the chilly morning. “I guess we’re just gunna have to wait here until someone comes.”

Tobin nods and flicks the soccer ball into the air juggling. “Welp, if I hafta be stuck with someone, I’m glad it’s you. Wanna play keepy uppy?”

Christen puts the blanket down and backs up and they begin passing the ball back and forth in the air. It starts off simple but Tobin begins to add some flair that on anyone else would seem like showing off. Tobin, however, doesn’t seem to care if Christen is impressed with her tricks. Christen can tell by the way she smiles when she executes something particularly flashy that this is just how Tobin has fun and she doesn’t care who’s watching. Christen is the first to let the ball bounce and Tobin grins at her, catching the ball on her foot when Christen kicks it back to her. “One nothing, me” she declares before sending the ball back in Christen’s direction

“I didn’t realize this was a competition,” Christen says, juggling the ball a few times before popping it into the air towards Tobin. Tobin catches the ball with her leg, somehow getting it to balance on her thigh for a few seconds before letting it drop back onto her foot.

She balances it skillfully on her foot and grins at Christen. “Come on Pressy, you live with KO. Everything is a competition,” she declares, lofting the ball back at Christen.

Christen plucks the ball out of the air with her hands and points behind Tobin, where someone is making their way out of the door of their building. “YO, hold the door,” Tobin yells, jogging over.

Christen grabs the blanket and follows Tobin into their building. They walk up the stairs in silence but as they ascend the last few steps towards the door to their floor, Tobin reaches out and wraps her fingers around Christen’s wrist, pulling her to a stop. “Chris, wait.” 

Christen turns to look at Tobin, who’s stopped a step below the landing where Christen stands. Tobin releases her wrist and runs a hand through her hair. “What?” Christen questions, confused as to why they’re stopping in the stairwell.

“Before we get back I just wanted to check with you about how you wanna act I guess. Like I don’t know how much you tell KO and JJ and Lyss so I didn’t wanna assume it’s okay to hold your hand or hug you or kiss you or anything in front of them. Or in front of anyone I guess. I don’t know, I’ve never really done this before so I don’t really know how things are supposed to go,” she admits, looking down. 

Christen thinks about it for a moment before answering. She puts her finger under Tobin’s chin tilting her head up to look at her. Tobin looks back, an insecure expression on her face. Christen impulsively leans down and pecks her on the lips in reassurance before straightening up. “I guess we should act normal until I talk to them. I mean Kell knows pretty much everything except for this morning, obviously. But Alyssa and Julie don't even know that I like girls, so I think I need to talk to them first. I’ll do that later today. And honestly, I’ve never dated a girl before so I’m not really sure what I’m doing either. We can figure it out together, okay?” she asks, letting her hand fall back to her side and studying Tobin’s face.

Tobin breaks into a small smile and nods slightly. “Yeah, okay,” she says softly, putting her hands on Christen’s waist and gently pushing her back so she can step up onto the landing. “So, you never dated a girl but did you like do other stuff with girls?” she questions, her hands still lingering on Christen’s waist.

Christen shakes her head, blushing and looking down. Tobin’s hands tighten slightly on her waist, urging her to look back up at Tobin’s face. Her expression is mostly unreadable but her eyes shine and there might be a small smile playing on her lips. “So I was your first kiss?” she asks.

Christen blushes even more and nods. “Well, not my first kiss, but my first kiss with a girl,” she answers shyly.

Tobin takes a small step closer. “And? How was it?” she asks.

Christen looks up, meeting Tobin’s eyes and Tobin is grinning cockily and looking back at expectantly. Christen takes a page from Tobin’s book and shrugs, smiling back at her sweetly. “Mm, you were okay I guess,” she teases, hoping to hide her nervousness.

Tobin laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. “Just okay?” she asks, taking another half step closer so there is barely any space between them. “So I probably shouldn’t kiss you ever again then, right? If I’m just okay,” Tobin says quietly.

Christen lets out a nervous laugh, distracted by Tobin’s hands on her waist and their close proximity. “Uh, no,” she laughs out, not sure what the question was. 

Tobin’s eyebrows shoot up. “No I should never kiss you again?”

Christen shakes her head. “No! I mean no, that’s not what I’m saying,” she stutters out. “I meant no you shouldn’t not kiss me again-”

Tobin cuts Christen’s stuttering off by crashing their lips together. She uses her hands on Christen’s waist to gently push her until her back is up against the door of the stairwell. Christen instinctively brings her hands up, lacing them behind Tobin’s neck. Tobin's hands slip under Christen’s t shirt, resting lightly on her bare skin, just above the waistband of her shorts. Her hands are still a little chilly from being outside and the contrast on Christen’s heated skin sends shivers up her spine. Tobin kisses her slowly, her lips working to part Christen’s so she can slip her tongue between them. Christen follows Tobin’s lead, allowing her to have total control over the kiss. She runs her hands through Tobin’s hair, admiring how soft it is.

Tobin pulls back after a few moments, leaving Christen breathless. Her eyes flutter open and Tobin is looking back at her, a cheeky grin on her face. “Still just okay?” she questions confidently.

Christen smiles back at her. “I lied,” she admits, her voice raspy as she continues to recover from the kiss.

Tobin’s eyes widen and she wears a look of shock. “You did? About what?” she asks in mock surprise. 

Christen tries to keep a straight face and nods, her hands still tangled in Tobin’s hair. “You’re maybe a little better than okay,” she admits.

Tobin’s fingers tickle up Christen’s bare sides causing her to giggle and squirm. “You’re not too bad yourself Pressy,” she says, her hands stilling just under Christen’s ribcage before she slowly drags them back down her sides and out from under her shirt. “C’mon we should go back to the suite. I wanna shower before class and I’m getting hungry.”

Christen turns to pull the stairwell door open. “How are you hungry? We just had scones.”

Tobin scoffs, following Christen through the door. “Chris, that was like over an hour ago. Plus, scones are not breakfast. That was like a little pre breakfast snack,” she declares as they walk down the hallway.

Christen just laughs, stopping in front of their door. “I’m guessing you don’t have your keys?” she asks, looking over at Tobin.

Tobin holds out her empty hands, a guilty grin on her face. “Got me,” she admits.

Christen sighs and turns back to the door, trying the handle to confirm that it is indeed locked. “Well I’m sure someone is awake,” she says before rapping her fist on the wooden door a few times.

Tobin leans on the wall next to the door, smiling at Christen. “We could pick the lock?” she offers.

Christen raises one eyebrow at her skeptically. “You know how to pick locks? What are we going to pick it with?”

Tobin shrugs. “How hard could it be? We just need like a paper clip or something right?”

Christen giggles as the door cracks open, Kelley peaking through the crack before she flings the door open dramatically. “CP! I thought you had gotten kidnapped or abducted or something,” she exclaims, wrapping her arms around Christen in a huge hug.

Christen laughs taking a small step back at the force of Kelley’s body hurdling into her. She pats Kelley’s back, looking over her shoulder to meet Tobin’s gaze as she looks on, an amused expression on her face. “Where were you? You left your phone and keys on your desk,” Kelley mumbles into Christen’s shoulder.

“She did kinda get kidnapped,” Tobin states, still leaning on the wall, keeping the door to their suite open with one hand.

Kelley whirls around, surprised by the voice behind her. “Shit Heath, you scared me,” she yelps, laughing.

Tobin laughs as well, pushing the door open and sliding behind Kelley to go into the suite. “Sorry. I’m gunna go shower,” she says, looking past Kelley to meet Christen’s eye.

Christen smiles and nods, as Kelley looks between the two, with narrowed eyes. Christen and Kelley follow Tobin into the suite, but Kelley grabs Christen’s arm, stopping her from walking towards their room. She watches Tobin disappear down the hallway before spinning to face Christen. “Okay, spill,” she says, eyeing Christen suspiciously.

Christen is unable to keep the smile off her face. “Come on,” she says, pulling her arm back and grabbing Kelley’s hand, leading her into their bedroom. She shuts the door behind them and flops onto her bed, a smile still on her face. She scoots up and sits cross-legged, waiting while Kelley climbs onto her bed as well, sitting down and facing her.

“Well?” Kelley asks, impatiently.

“Well, we talked,” Christen says vaguely, grinning at Kelley.

“And?” Kelley asks exasperatedly. “Come on, you’re killing me CP!”

Christen laughs and recounts the morning to Kelley, giving her the cliff notes version. “So then she asked me out and I said yes,” she finishes, a huge smile on her face as she thinks back to Tobin’s reaction.

Kelley squeals, slapping Christen’s knee. “So is she like your girlfriend now?”

Christen shakes her head, giggling. “I don’t know Kell, we haven’t even gone on a date yet. Ask me again in a few weeks.”

Kelley bounces on the bed, grinning. “This is so exciting! I can’t believe I turned you gay and set you up with our roommate!” she exclaims, slapping Christen’s knee again.

Christen snorts. “Kell, first of all you did not turn me gay. And you did not set me up with Tobin! What are you smoking?” she laughs out.

“Whatever. You believe what you wanna believe and I’ll believe what I wanna believe,” she says in a sing song voice as she climbs off Christen’s bed and starts rifling through her closet.

Christen gets up to get dressed as well. She pulls Tobin’s sweatshirt off, breathing in what’s quickly becoming her favorite scent, before folding it carefully and tucking it under her pillow.

After she gets dressed, Christen wanders into the kitchen where Julie is eating yogurt and scrolling on her phone. She puts down her phone and smiles when Christen comes into the room and they chat for a few minutes before Julie leaves for class, making plans to grab lunch together later in the day. Christen wants to tell Alyssa and Julie about her and Tobin as soon as possible to avoid any awkward situations around the suite.

  


Later in the afternoon, Christen sits in Spanish class, struggling to pay attention, as she thinks of what she’s going to tell Julie. Telling Kelley had been easy, but she hasn’t even come out to Julie or Alyssa, so she doesn’t expect the conversation to be as simple as it was with Kelley.

She finds Julie outside the dining hall and they head in together, loading up their plates and finding a table. Christen picks at her food, feeling anxious, as they chat mindlessly about their first conference game on Friday versus NC State. After a few minutes Julie puts down her fork and looks at Christen expectantly. “Alright Chris, what’s going on? You’re all fidgety and quiet and you’re not eating,” she remarks.

Christen sighs, knowing she needs to get this over with to feel better. She takes a sip of her water and pulls in a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” she starts.

Julie nods, a worried expression on her face. “Okay,” she says slowly, waiting for Christen to continue.

“So...Tobin and I have been hanging out and I really like her,” she admits.

“Okay…I think we all like Tobin, Chris,” she offers, clearly puzzled by Christen’s words.

Christen shakes her head. “No, like I really _like_ Tobin,” she emphasizes. “Like she asked me out and I said yes.”

“Oh,” Julie says quietly, her eyebrows furrowed together. After a few seconds a look of realization crosses her face. “Ohh,” she states a little louder as her eyes widen and she looks at Christen in surprise. “Oh wow, I have so many questions,” she says, laughing a little.

Christen smiles and nods. “What do you want to know?”

Julie takes a bite of her sandwich, chewing slowly, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Hmm, okay so since when? Like is this something new?”

Christen thinks for a moment. “Well she just asked me out this morning but I think I’ve liked her for a while,” she answers truthfully.

Julie nods and leans a little closer over the table. “What about the whole liking girls thing? Is that new? Because I had no idea. I thought you had a boyfriend before coming here,” she says, keeping her voice low.

Christen smiles, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s kinda new, yeah. I haven’t really told a lot of people yet. But I think that I’ve known for a long time. I did have a boyfriend but we didn’t break up for soccer or because of the idea of long distance or anything. We broke up because I liked him and he was nice and all, but I couldn’t picture a future with him, or with any guy. I just didn’t like him that way. Not the way I like Tobin,” she admits, smiling at the relief she feels at her confession.

“Wow. So you really like her, huh?” Julie asks, studying Christen’s face.

Christen nods, blushing a bit. She looks up from her food and Julie is beaming back at her. “I’m happy for you Chris. A little surprised, but I’m glad you told me. Does anyone else know?”

“About me liking girls? My parents and sisters know and Kelley knows. But only Kelley knows about Tobin. And Cheney and ARod and whoever else Tobin told. I'm gunna tell Alyssa later today.”

“Ooh, I feel special! So tell me how it happened? When did you start liking each other? And how did she ask you out? Tell me everything!” Julie gushes, leaning in.

Christen laughs and fills Julie in on everything that had happened with Tobin, leaving out some details. By the time Julie is caught up it’s almost time for training, so the two leave the dining hall and head back to the suite to get changed.

Christen hopes to see Tobin before training because they hadn’t seen each other or talked since their class that morning. She wants to fill her in on her progress telling the roommates and although it has only been a few hours, she misses the midfielder. However, Tobin shows up to training late, rolling up to the field on her long board, her cleats tied together and over one shoulder, with socks sticking out of each one. Christen watches in amusement, trying to focus on the teams dynamic stretching as Tobin strolls over to the sideline barefooted and plops down to pull on her socks and cleats. She pulls her hair back into a ponytail with a hair tie off her wrist before joining the team for the last few minutes of warm ups and stretching. Anson sends her on a lap for being late as he gathers the team to go over the plan for practice.

Practice is long and grueling, heavy on the fitness to prepare for their first conference game over the weekend. Anson barks at them from the sideline as they run sprints at the end of practice. “One more ladies, you’ll pass out before you die! Come on!” he yells, as the team pushes through one last sprint. He gathers them up after they finish and they surround him, panting and sweating. “Do you guys feel fit enough for this weekends game?” he asks, looking around at the team. A few players nod or pant out a ‘yes’. Anson simply shakes his head. “Wrong answer. You can never be fit enough for soccer. Give me two more laps and then you can be done. If you really push yourselves on the first lap, you can jog the second one as a cool down. Let’s go!” he shouts, over their collective groans as they set off in two lines for a lap around the field. 

They slow down as they finish the first lap and Anson claps at them as they jog towards him. “Alright ladies, great work today. Take a cool down lap and then we’re all set. Manage your recovery and see a trainer if you’re hurt. I’ll see you all tomorrow,” he says, sending them off at a much slower pace for their second lap. He yells after them as they jog away. “HEATH! Not you! Go shower up and come to my office!”

Tobin groans and breaks away from the group, jogging towards the locker rooms. The rest of the team finishes their lap and breaks apart to see trainers, head straight to the locker room, or stay on the field to stretch.

Christen lingers in the locker room after showering and changing, unsure if she should stay or leave without Tobin. She waves off her roommates, telling them that she’ll meet them back at the suite later. She slowly packs up her bag as the locker room empties out and glances at her phone, smiling when she sees a text from Tobin on the screen.

  


**Tobs:** Wait for me to walk back?

 

Christen doesn’t text back, knowing that Tobin probably won’t be looking at her phone. She finishes packing up her stuff and pulls on a sweatshirt, tucking her phone into the pocket. She looks around the locker room and sees that the only other person still lingering is Ali.

Ali looks up from her phone and smiles at Christen, patting the chair next to her for Christen to sit in. “Who are you waiting for Press?” she asks as Christen sits down in the folding chair next to her.

“Tobin asked me to wait for her to walk back to the suite. What about you?”

“Ashlyn. She’s in the training room,” Ali explains, gesturing towards the door.

Christen nods, thinking for a moment. “Hey Ali? How long have you and Ashlyn been together?”

Ali grins at her, locking her phone and sliding it into her bag near her feet. “I transferred here spring semester of our freshman year and we were together by April. We probably would have been together sooner but I was a little clueless,” she admits.

Christen’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“So when I transferred from Penn I had just broken up with a boyfriend. I totally though I was straight,” she laughs, thinking back. “I met Ash and we became friends really fast but like it wasn’t enough. I don't know, I just fell really hard, really fast, but it took me a while to admit that the feelings were more than just friendship. Ash was so great and patient and the rest is history,” she says, smiling and looking up as Ashlyn pokes her head into the locker room.

“Hey Press! Babe, I’m just gunna shower then we can go,” she says, before disappearing through the door again.

Christen waves and turns back to Ali. “So was it hard? Like dating a teammate? Did you tell the team right away?”

“No, nothing with Ash has ever really been hard. We just try to separate soccer and our relationship. Like in the locker room and on the field we’re teammates and try to focus on soccer and the team. And we didn’t really tell anyone at first. I think it was so obvious that we didn’t need to. When we came back after the summer for preseason we told everyone, but everyone already knew.”

Christen nods, processing the information. “Are you ever nervous about what could happen if you break up? Like you’ll still need to see each other every day for soccer. Aren’t you scared about how that will be if things don’t work out?”

Ali is quiet for a minute, studying Christen’s face thoughtfully. “We thought about it, yeah. We talked about it and we just decided that we couldn’t pass up the chance that things would work out of fear that it wouldn’t. The rewards far outweigh the risks. If we broke up, yeah it would suck but we’ve tried to keep our relationship and soccer separate, just in case. It was something we were a little nervous about in the beginning but the longer we’ve been together the less worried we are. We’re not gunna break up. Ash is it for me,” she says with a smile. “How come you’re asking all these questions though? I don’t mind, you can always talk to me about this stuff but is there anything you wanna tell me?”

Christen sips her water bottle nervously, not sure how much she should reveal. She’s about to open her mouth to answer when the locker room door flies open, making them both jump. Tobin walks in and heads straight to her locker, her head down. She looks up as she swings her backpack over one shoulder and her face breaks into a grin upon seeing Ali and Christen. “Hey, you waited for me,” she exclaims, her voice sounding surprised. 

Christen laughs, nodding. “Yeah, you asked me to,” she replies.

“Yeah, I just didn’t know if you would. You ready to go? I’m starving,” she says, looking between Ali and Christen.

Christen nods, getting up and pulling her backpack onto her back. “See ya later, Ali. And thank you,” Christen says quietly.

Ali smiles, looking over at Tobin before looking back at Christen. “Of course, any time Press. Seriously, let me know if you want to talk again,” she says sincerely.

Christen nods and turns to follow Tobin out of the locker room. They head to the dining hall together for a late dinner. Tobin fills her in on her conversation with Anson about her red card and Christen tells Tobin about Kelley and Julie’s reactions when she talked to them. They finish dinner and begin their walk back to the suite. Christen is quiet as they walk through campus, trying to formulate a plan and schedule to tackle her schoolwork and studying for the week. After a few minutes of walking in silence, Tobin grabs Christen’s hand lacing their fingers together and squeezing to get her attention. “What are you thinking about Chris?” she asks, tilting her head to look at Christen.

Christen giggles, realizing how spaced out she was. “I was trying to plan for what school work I’m gunna get done tonight,” she admits.

Tobin’s eyebrows raise and her eyes widen. “That’s what you were thinking so hard about? Boring,” she teases, swinging their joined hands between them.

Christen rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against Tobin’s. “Whatever, some of us actually do our work,” she teases right back.

Tobin laughs pretending to stumble after Christen bumps their shoulders. “I do my work!” she defends.

“I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen you do any schoolwork or open a book,” Christen retorts.

Tobin shrugs, still swinging their hands. “Cheney has my syllabuses. She tells me when to do stuff and then I do it,” she admits.

Christen laughs. “Tobin, that’s a little ridiculous. We should get you a planner and then you can keep track for yourself.”

Tobin shakes her head. “No way. I can’t live like that,” she declares adamantly.

“What are you gunna do when Cheney graduates?” Christen questions as she waves her ID card to unlock the door to their building.

Tobin grins, pulling the door open. “I’ll have you,” she answers simply with a shrug.

Christen blushes as they walk up the stairs together, still holding hands. She drops Tobin’s hand as they reach the door to the suite, taking out her keys to unlock the door. Tobin’s hand shoots out to stop hers as she goes to unlock the door. “What?” she asks, puzzled as to why Tobin is preventing her from opening the door.

“Before we go inside,” Tobin trails off, releasing Christen’s hand and bringing her own hand up to Christen’s cheek, turning her face to look at her. She leans in and Christen meets her halfway. Tobin kisses her slowly but deeply, and Christen is left breathless when Tobin pulls back, letting her hand drop off of her cheek. “Okay, we can go inside now. I’ve just been waiting to do that all day,” she admits, grinning as Christen snaps back to reality, a little dazed from the kiss.

  


Christen finishes up her reading for English before knocking on Julie and Alyssa’s open door. Alyssa turns in her chair to face the door, pulling an earbud out of her ear. “Hey Lyss, you wanna go down to the study room with me and do the math assignment?” she asks, leaning on the door frame. 

Alyssa nods and begins to gather up her books. They walk to one of the study rooms at the end of the hall, thankfully finding it empty. They spread out at one of the tables and get to work, comparing answers and talking through some of the more difficult problems. They finish up pretty quickly but Christen wants to take advantage of the opportunity to talk to Alyssa. “Wait, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure, what’s up?” Alyssa says, settling back down into her chair.

For some reason, Christen is more nervous to talk to Alyssa than she had been with Julie or Kelley. “So remember that time when Tobin brought me a cappuccino in the library?” she starts, not even sure where she is going with this.

“Yeah?” Alyssa responds, nodding slowly.

“So I guess we’ve been hanging out a little and I like her a lot. And she likes me, so she asked me out and I said yes and I just wanted to tell you and JJ and Kell so that things aren’t like awkward in the suite or anything,” she rambles, expecting a look of surprise similar to Julie’s.

Alyssa just nods again, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Are you sure about this? You’re going to be living together for the rest of the year and you’re going to have to see each other basically every day so this has the potential to go really poorly if things don’t work out.”

“I know, I know. I talked to Ali about how her and Ashlyn handled it and it was really helpful. I’m gunna talk to Tobin more about it but we agreed to just figure things out as we go,” she answers, trying not to sound defensive. 

“Alright, Chris. As long as you’re sure about it then I’m happy for you,” she offers in a softer tone.

“Hold on, why don’t you sound surprised at all? I just came out to you and told you I’m gunna start dating our roommate and all I get is an ‘alright Chis’?” she asks, slightly offended but with relieved smile on her face.

“Christen, you’re not exactly subtle,” Alyssa laughs out.

Christen looks at her, surprised. “Wait, you knew? How?" 

“I don’t know, I guess I had suspicions for a while with the dancing at that pre season party and the way you guys look at each other. Then the cappuccino thing basically confirmed my suspicions,” Alyssa explains, laughing at Christen’s shocked expression.

Christen just shakes her head, processing Alyssa’s words. “Well good to know that I can never hide anything from you,” she replies as she gathers up her books to head back to the suite for the night.

 

The next morning Christen wakes up early and grabs her yoga mat, slipping out of her room quietly to do some yoga and meditation before her first class of the day. She is surprised when she walks into the living room and finds Tobin sitting on the couch, wrapped in her comforter, all of her attention on the TV screen. “Morning,” she says, laughing when Tobin is startled by her voice. “You’re up early.”

Tobin nods, grinning but not looking away from the TV. “Champions League. Arsenal and PSG,” she offers as an explanation.

Christen nods and puts down her yoga mat, thinking that it’s not a big deal to skip yoga for a morning. “Do you want coffee?” she asks, walking behind Tobin towards the kitchen.

“Yes please,” Tobin nods enthusiastically.

Christen returns to the living room a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of coffee. She walks around the couch and places them on the coffee table. Tobin spreads her arms and sits up further, opening up the comforter that she has wrapped around her. “C’mere,” she says as she stares up at Christen expectantly, looking soft and warm and irresistible in her sweatpants and t shirt, her light brown hair still messy from sleep.

Christen settles into the spot next to Tobin, who wraps the comforter over Christen’s shoulder and leans forward to grab their coffees off the table, handing one to Christen. She settles back, sliding one arm behind Christen, pulling her into her side. Christen can hardly pay attention to the game or the commentary that Tobin is offering, because this just all feels so domestic and real, being cuddled up to Tobin’s side, watching soccer in their pajamas, and she feels like it’s too soon for her to be thinking about the future, but she can’t help it. Tobin’s hand on her side has found it’s way under her t shirt and her fingers are absentmindedly tracing patterns on her bare skin just above the waistband of her shorts, sending shivers up Christen’s spine. She lets her mind wander and she can just picture them making a routine out of this, waking up early to watch Arsenal or Chelsea or whoever is playing, cuddled together under a comforter, sipping coffee out of mismatched mugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: Is this a good length for updates or would you prefer longer ones but a longer wait between updates? Also, thanks for comments and kudos, any feedback is appreciated! Visit me on tumblr to let me know what you think and what you wanna see next!  
> PS- proofreading was like way too tiring so I decided to just do it tomorrow lol but I didn't want to make you guys wait so just ignore any mistakes


	18. How you take a tequila shot

Thursday afternoon the team has a light practice and film session to prepare for their Friday evening game. Later that night, Christen lays on her stomach on Tobin’s bed, her notebook and flashcards spread in front of her, as she works on a speech for her communications class. Tobin sits to her right, propped up by pillows against her wall, her laptop open on her lap and her left hand at her side, running up and down Christen’s bare calf. Christen is pretty sure that Tobin is only pretending to be doing schoolwork because she hasn’t heard her type a single thing. She is too distracted by her own work to care though, so she doesn’t say anything.

After a while, Tobin’s hand on her leg stills. “Hey Chris?” she asks, tapping her fingers against Christen’s calf.

“Hmm?” Christen hums, focusing on copying her speech onto flashcards.

“You almost done?”

Christen doesn’t look up from her book, calculating how much she has left. “Uhh, yeah. Should be done in like 10 or 15 minutes. Why?” 

Tobin’s hand resumes its path up and down her calf. “Just wondering. I’m bored,” she responds.

Christen shakes her head, grabbing a new flashcard. “Do your work Tobs,” she orders.

Tobin squeezes her calf and sighs. “Fine. Tell me when you’re done,” she relents.

Christen finishes up her final flashcard and carefully clips them together with a binder clip, tucking them into her notebook and slamming it shut. She rolls onto her back and yawns, looking up at Tobin’s ceiling. She hears Tobin’s laptop shut and lifts her head a little to watch Tobin lean out of the bed and put her laptop on her dresser. She lets her head drop back to the bed as Tobin puts her hand back onto Christen’s leg, tracing patterns from Christen’s ankle to halfway up her shin and back again. “Chris?” Tobin asks quietly, sounding unsure.

“Yeah?” Christen responds, her brow furrowed as she stares up at Tobin’s ceiling.

Tobin’s hand stills just above Christen’s ankle and it’s quiet for a few moments, so Christen leans up onto her elbows to look at Tobin. Tobin is looking out her window, chewing her bottom lip, but she turns her head to look at Christen and releases her bottom lip, breaking into a small smile instead. “So I was thinking,” she begins, sitting up straighter but keeping her hand on Christen’s ankle.

Christen nods and looks at Tobin expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

“I wanna take you out on that date soon and obviously tomorrow is the game and Saturday is the party at Ali and Ashlyn’s, so what about Sunday?” she asks, a hopeful expression on her face.

Christen nods, smiling widely at Tobin. “Sunday is perfect,” she reassures.

“Cool,” Tobin replies, grinning back at her. She lifts her hand off Christen’s ankle and stretches her arms out, yawning.

Christen can’t help but yawn as well. “We should get some sleep,” she says, sitting up further to gather up her school stuff.

“Hey, would you maybe wanna just sleep in here? I’ve missed you,” Tobin says quietly.

Christen hesitates, looking down to straighten out the papers in her notebook. As much as she’d hate to admit it, she misses sleeping in Tobin’s bed with her. She always slept so well and it was kinda nice, falling asleep and waking up knowing that Tobin was right beside her. However, she doesn’t want to move too fast and she’s worried that Tobin will want to do more than just sleep. She looks back up slowly and when she meets Tobin’s puppy dog eyes while she waits for an answer, she finds herself relenting. “Okay, but we’re just sleeping,” she specifies.

Tobin nods enthusiastically and grins, rolling out of bed and opening her dresser to get out clothes to sleep in. Christen grabs her books and heads towards the door. “I’m gunna go get ready for bed then I’ll come back,” she calls, blushing as she watches Tobin pull her shirt off.

Tobin turns around in her joggers and sports bra and grins at Christen. “Okay, hurry up,” she says, turning back to her dresser and pulling out a clean t shirt.

Christen forces herself to turn away as Tobin begins pulling her sports bra off. She goes into her own room and takes her time, laying out her clothes and packing her backpack for the next day, trying to be extra quiet to avoid waking up her sleeping roommate. She changes into leggings and a t shirt and heads into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.  

She finally returns to Tobin’s room, closing the door quietly behind her. Tobin grins at her over her bible, her glasses on. She sits on top of her blankets, her long tan legs stretched in front of her, a pair of tiny shorts and an oversized t shirt on. She gets up and closes her bible when Christen enters, placing it on her dresser along with her glasses, before pulling the blankets back on her bed. She climbs in, scooting back and lifts the blankets up for Christen.

Christen clicks the light off and climbs into bed next to Tobin, who immediately wiggles closer to her. She lies on her back and squints up at her phone, setting an alarm for the morning. Tobin rolls onto her side next to her and props her head up on one hand so she’s slightly above Christen. Christen finishes setting the alarm and puts her phone down, turning her head slightly to look at Tobin. “Hi,” she whispers, her heart rate already speeding up at their close proximity. 

“Hi,” Tobin whispers back, grinning. “I know you said just sleep but can I kiss you goodnight?”

Christen can’t help but giggle a little, nodding her head. “Yes please,” she answers, tilting her head a little more to make it easier for Tobin. Tobin brings her free hand up to Christen’s face and leans in painstakingly slowly. Christen waits patiently until their lips are just centimeters apart. The anticipation becomes too much and she reaches up with one hand, tangling it in Tobin’s hair at the back of her head and pulling her the rest of the way in. Tobin smiles against Christen’s lips, amused by her impatience, before she leans over a bit more and starts really kissing her. She kisses Christen with no sense of urgency and Christen is totally lost in the kiss within seconds. They take their time, exploring each other’s mouths, Tobin’s hand caressing Christen’s cheek while Christen’s hand remains tangled in Tobin’s hair. Christen has no concept of how much time has passed when Tobin finally pulls back, breathing heavily and grinning. She lets her head fall to the pillow, lying on her side and facing Christen.

“I’m really glad I transferred here,” she whispers, moving around to get comfortable.

Christen’s heart swells at the statement and she smiles back at Tobin. “I am too,” she whispers back.

Tobin yawns and finds her hand under the blankets and pulls it up, bringing it to her mouth and placing a kiss on her knuckles. “Night Chris,” she whispers sleepily, her eyes already fluttering shut.

Christen grins, closing her eyes as well. “Night Tobs.”

  

The unwelcome sound of her alarm pulls Christen from a dream that she immediately forgets. She feels around for her phone, pressing the lock button to snooze, not even bothering to open her eyes. After a few seconds, her mind begins to wake up and she’s disoriented for a second before remembering that she’s in bed with Tobin. Tobin is spooning her, one arm wrapped around her torso, her breath tickling the back of Christen’s neck. Her stirring must have woken Tobin because she shifts slightly, her arm tightening around Christen’s stomach. She presses a kiss into the back of Christen’s neck. “Go back to sleep,” she whispers against Christen’s skin, giving her goose bumps.

Christen shakes her head, smiling. “I’m gunna go do yoga. You can go back to sleep. I’ll come wake you up when you need to get ready for class,” she says softly, running her fingers over Tobin’s forearm that rests on her stomach.

Tobin hums in response and Christen can feel the vibration of her chest against her back. “Can I do yoga with you?”

Christen lets out a small giggle. “You do yoga?” she asks skeptically.

She feels Tobin shrug behind her. “I’ve done it before with the national team. It was boring. But with you it won’t be.” 

“How can you be so sure?”

Tobin scoffs, “Christen nothing with you could ever be boring. You could read me the dictionary and I would be fucking mesmerized.”

Christen’s cheeks heat up immediately. “Oh,” she squeaks out stupidly. 

“So can I?” Tobin asks enthusiastically.

“Can you what?” Christen responds, still distracted by Tobin’s words.

“Do yoga with you,” Tobin reminds her.

Christen thinks for a moment. Her morning yoga is kind of personal for her, and it’s not something that she’s ever shared before. It’s a quiet time for her to reflect and settle her mind to prepare for the day. However, for the first time she finds herself wanting to share her routine. “Sure. But you have to be quiet and listen, okay?” she responds, not sure how Tobin is going to handle yoga, since she’s never actually seen her be still while awake. 

Christen digs her extra yoga mat out from under her bed for Tobin to use. They move the coffee table out of the way and unroll the mats side by side in the middle of the living room. Christen starts by showing Tobin some basic stretches. It’s kind of comical really, how bad Tobin is at yoga. She’s trying so hard, a look of pure determination on her face but she just doesn’t seem to get the poses and she can’t stay still and Christen can’t keep a straight face no matter how hard she tries. And so, the yoga work out turns into the two of them on the floor laughing. Christen tries to actually do her stretches and poses even after Tobin gives up, but Tobin keeps getting into outrageous positions and telling Christen what the name of the pose would be. Christen can’t stop laughing for long enough to actually stretch when Tobin creates poses such as ‘stepped on a lego’ and ‘friendly game of Twister gone wrong’ and ‘I’m not posing, I’m just checking you out’. Eventually she gives up, lying on her yoga mat next to Tobin, catching her breath from laughing so much. She didn’t get in the calming meditation and yoga that she likes to start her day with, but looking over at Tobin, with her messy hair and huge grin, she finds that she really doesn’t mind.

Christen only has one class on Fridays, her English class with Tobin. They grab coffee together after class and Christen walks Tobin to her French class. Tobin laces their hands together as they walk down the sidewalk together. “You wanna come to class with me?” she asks, pulling the door to the building open.

Christen laughs, shaking her head. “No, I think I’m good. Thanks though. I’ll see you back at the suite after?”

Tobin nods as they stand together at the bottom of a stairwell. “Lunch when I get back?” she asks, tugging the strap of her backpack higher on her shoulder.

“Sure. Now go, you’re gunna be late,” Christen responds, gesturing up the stairs. 

Tobin grins, leaning in and pecking Christen on the lips. She squeezes Christen’s hand once before releasing it and turns to race up the stairs. “Later, Chris,” she throws over one shoulder, taking the stairs two at a time. Christen grins, watching her go, before turning and beginning her walk back. 

She spreads her books out on the coffee table once back at the suite and gets some work done while she waits for Tobin to return. She glances up over her shoulder when she hears a key in the door and smiles when the door swings open, revealing Tobin. “Hey babe, you ready to go eat? I’m starving and class was so boring. Do you want to go off campus for food? Wanna go get sandwiches at Merritt’s?” Tobin babbles on, dropping her backpack on the floor and falling onto the couch next to Christen. 

Christen hardly hears anything after the word ‘babe’ so she just nods, not sure if Tobin even realized the fact that she just called her babe. Tobin grins and gets back up, holding her hand out to help Christen up.

They sit outside after getting their sandwiches, enjoying the beautiful day in the shady outdoor eating area. “Are you gunna still come to the game today?” Christen asks, popping a piece of avocado that had fallen off her sandwich into her mouth.

Tobin shrugs, chewing slowly and not meeting Christen’s gaze. “Anson wants me to,” she answers flatly.

“You should. We’re gunna miss you on the field,” Christen responds, sipping her water.

Tobin shrugs again, crumpling up her napkin and throwing it down onto her empty sandwich wrapper. “Let’s go,” she snaps, sliding her sunglasses back on and grabbing her garbage.

Christen gets up as well, rushing to catch up to Tobin who’s already stalking away from her. They drive back to campus in silence and Christen feels like Tobin’s moods could give her whiplash. “Are you mad at me?” she asks quietly, studying Tobin’s profile, her face hard and jaw clenched.

Tobin’s face softens at her words and she pulls into a parking spot before looking over at Christen. She sighs and pushes her sunglasses back to the top of her head before answering, looking down at her lap. “No, I’m just disappointed about not being able to play. I’m sorry.”

Christen reaches over, finding Tobin’s hand. “It’s okay, you’re allowed to be disappointed. But it’s just NC State, we can beat them without you. Plus, it’s only one game and we have less than a week til our next one and then you’ll be back assisting my goals, right?” she asks, rubbing her thumb over Tobin’s knuckles.

This earns a small smile from Tobin as she lifts her head slightly to look at Christen. “Right,” she replies, pulling Christen’s hand up to her mouth to kiss it before releasing it and getting out of the jeep.

  

Christen spots Tobin during warm ups before the game, sitting by herself in the stands with sunglasses and a backwards snapback on. Kelley follows Christen’s gaze and snorts, turning to her. “Is she wearing a fucking disguise?” she jokes, juggling a ball.

Christen laughs and shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I’m kinda surprised she even came,” she answers, stealing the ball from Kelley and rocketing a shot into the back of the net.

It ends up being her only goal of the night. For the first time in over a decade, UNC loses to NC State 1-0. They dominate possession and have the majority of shots on goal but they can’t seem to find the back of the net and NC State is able score on one of their two shots on goal. The mood in the locker room is somber as the team processes the end of their undefeated streak in their first conference game, against a team that they really should have beat.

The team had plans to go out after the game to celebrate their first conference win, but after the loss most players decide to bail. Christen texts Tobin asking if she’s still going, before showering and getting dressed. Tobin still hasn’t answered when Christen is finishing up packing her bag, so she just tucks her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and hopes to see Tobin at the bar.

Christen, Kelley, and Alyssa uber to the same dive bar and club that the team had gone to early in the season. It’s crowded, but they push their way through, finding Kling, Emily, Morgan, ARod, and Crystal around a table in the corner, a pitcher of beer and a pitcher of water in the middle. Kelley immediately pulls Emily onto the dance floor, with Kling, Morgan, and Crystal quickly following.

“Where’s Cheney? I though you guys left together?” Alyssa asks ARod, sliding onto one of the vacated barstools and pouring herself some beer.

ARod nods, gesturing towards the back of the bar. “Bathroom with Tobin. She had a little too much to drink.”

Christen’s turns from where she had been watching her teammates dance, her attention grabbed by the mention of Tobin.

“Too much to drink? How? We only left like 15 minutes after you guys,” Alyssa responds.

“Tobin was already here and drunk when we got here,” ARod explains.

“Is she okay?” Christen asks, concerned.

ARod nods, sipping her beer. “She’s a light weight. She’ll be okay. Cheney’s got her,” she answers. She opens her mouth to say something else but her phone lights up on the table. “I’ll be right back, it’s Adam,” she says, grabbing her phone and crutches, awkwardly making her way out of the bar.

Christen and Alyssa sit at the table laughing at their teammates on the dance floor, Alyssa sipping a beer and Christen opting for water. ARod returns after a couple songs, sitting back down and leaning her crutches against the table. A few songs after that, she taps Alyssa and Christen to get their attention. “I’m gunna go settle this tab and then Cheney and I are taking Tobin home. We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” she says over the music, looking down at her phone. They both nod and she gets up, heading towards the bar.

Christen watches her go, seeing Cheney and a disheveled looking Tobin emerge from the back hallway, where the bathrooms are. They look to be in an argument and Christen watches as they exchange words, Tobin shaking her head and pushing Cheney’s hand away when she reaches out to touch her arm. A few seconds later ARod comes up to them, leaning in to whisper in Cheney’s ear before taking Tobin’s arm and pushing her towards the exit, following closely behind her on her crutches. Christen watches them go, not really sure what to feel. Whatever it is that she and Tobin have going on is still so new that she’s not sure if she’s justified in feeling upset with Tobin for ignoring her text and getting drunk. She turns back to where Emily and Crystal appear to be in some sort of dance battle, with Kelley egging them on, and tries to push thoughts of Tobin out of her mind.

 

Later that night she lies in bed, in her room alone since Kelley had gone home with Morgan and Emily after promises of pizza rolls in their room. She feels like she has just drifted off to sleep when she’s startled awake by her phone ringing. She reaches behind her to grab it, not even checking who it is before answering. “Hello?” she asks groggily, putting the phone to her ear.

“Hi, sorry for waking you.”

“Tobin?” she mumbles as she sits up in bed, confused.

“Yeah, can you come let me in?” Tobin asks, her voice sounding muffled. 

“Let you in? Where are you?”

“I’m outside in the parking lot. I forgot my ID card,” Tobin explains.

Christen swings her legs over the side of the bed. “Alright, I’ll be right there,” she sighs, sliding off her bed. She pulls Tobin’s hoody on and puts her feet into her slides, grabbing her lanyard off her desk and shuffling out of her room, yawning. She checks the time on her phone as she walks to the front door, wondering why Tobin is locked out at 4am. She tucks her phone into her pocket and starts down the hallway towards the stairwell, waking up a little more with each step.

She pushes open the door to the parking lot, startling Tobin who stands in flip flops, a muscle tank, and soccer shorts, her hands tucked under her arms in the chilly September air. She walks past Christen through the door without a word. Christen turns to follow her up the stairs but she’s pulled into a tight hug as soon as she turns around. Tobin drops her face onto Christen’s shoulder and sighs, her breathing ragged. Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s slight frame, rubbing her back slightly as she shivers from waiting outside in the cold. “Tobs, what’s going on? Why were you outside? It’s the middle of the night,” she says softly.

Tobin doesn’t answer for a while, still clinging to Christen as her breathing evens out slightly. Finally she pulls back, not lifting her head to look Christen in the eye. “Can we just go upstairs?” she asks in almost a whine.

Christen’s brow furrows as she tries to study Tobin’s face. “Yeah, okay,” she relents, turning to walk up the stairs. Tobin grabs her hand and pulls Christen along up the stairs and all the way back to the suite. She waits impatiently as Christen opens the door before following her into the suite. Christen goes into her room to put her slides back into her closet and Tobin follows hesitantly, glancing up Kelley’s empty bed.

“Where’s KO?” she asks, looking around as if Kelley might be hiding somewhere in the room.

“She’s sleeping at Emily and Moe’s,” she responds, closing her closet door.

Tobin kicks her flip flops off and gestures towards Christen’s bed, looking over at Christen who still stands in front of her closet. “Can I…” she trails off, her expression hopeful but her eyes wild and slightly panicked looking.

Christen nods slightly, walking over to her bedroom door and pushing it shut. She turns back to where Tobin is climbing into her bed gingerly, scooting close to the wall. She walks over and climbs into bed next to her and immediately Tobin clings to her, burying her face in Christen’s shoulder. Christen adjusts, tucking her pillow behind her back and getting comfortable before wrapping her arms around Tobin and rubbing her back. “Can you talk to me now?” she asks, feeling Tobin’s chest rise and fall rapidly. Tobin shakes her head, clinging to Christen even more tightly.

She continues to stroke her hand up and down the midfielder’s back as her breathing slowly evens out and her tensed muscles begin to relax. Just when she thinks that Tobin has fallen asleep, she sniffles a few times and loosens her death grip on Christen, pulling back to wipe at her eyes. “What’s wrong?” Christen asks, concern evident in her voice.

Tobin sighs and drops her head back on to Christen’s shoulder. “Do you think that the team lost because I couldn’t play?” she asks quietly.

“No, I think we lost because we couldn’t score. I couldn’t score,” she answers honestly. “You think it’s because you weren’t playing? Is that why you’re upset?”

Tobin shrugs in her arms. “I just felt so helpless watching from the stands and it was all my fault for getting the stupid red card in the first place. I couldn’t even stay for the end of the game. And then I felt even worse for leaving,” Tobin explains, her voice small and strained.

“It’s okay Tobin. Relax,” Christen soothes, rubbing her back. “Yeah, we missed you on the field but it’s not your fault that we lost. I know you’re upset about the red card but it’s over Tobs. You served your suspension and you’ll be back for our game on Thursday, so even though it’s hard, you have to put it behind you and focus on the next game. No one blames you for our loss and no one is going to be angry or upset with you about it. Okay?” 

Tobin nods, sniffling, and is quiet for a few minutes before speaking up again. “The national team beat Mexico 8-0 on Tuesday. So I guess they don’t need me anymore,” she whispers, reaching a hand up to wipe at her face again. 

“It was one game Tobin. It doesn’t mean they don’t need you. I’m sure you’ll get called back in next camp. You told me that they wanted to look at some of the professional players this camp and maybe some college players next camp. You were such an important part of the Olympic team. They’re not gunna suddenly decide they don’t need you anymore. Don’t be so hard on yourself Tobs,” she says softly, reaching behind her to grab some tissues out of the box on her desk. She hands them to Tobin, who wipes her cheeks before putting the tissue back into Christen’s open palm. Tobin snuggles back into Christen’s shoulder, clinging to her tightly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your text earlier. I left the game cuz I couldn’t just sit there anymore and I went to the bar where the team was gunna meet and figured I would just wait for everyone there. But then I started drinking while I was waiting and I got a little carried away I guess. I was drunk by the time I saw the text and I forgot to answer,” she explains, still sniffling a little.

“It’s okay. I saw you at the bar.”

Tobin leans up to look at Christen, confused. “You did?”

Christen nods, looking at Tobin’s red and tearstained face. “You were in the bathroom with Lauren when we got there, but I saw you leaving with Lauren and Amy,” she explains as Tobin nods and puts her head back down. “But why were you locked out? How did you get back here?”

Tobin sighs, “they took me home and I showered and ate some toast and drank some water then brushed my teeth and went to sleep in Cheney’s bed. But then I woke up and I was looking at my phone to see what time it was and I realized I never answered you. And Cheney was sleeping and I just didn’t want to be there anymore and I wanted you, so I just left and walked back here. But I forgot my keys and wallet in my backpack so I couldn’t get in.”

“You walked here? That’s like a mile Tobs, and you’re barely wearing anything. You must have been freezing,” she exclaims, pulling the blankets up tighter around Tobin as if she might still be cold.

Tobin shrugs, not saying anything.

“Wait, you didn’t tell them you were leaving? You should text Cheney and ARod now so they don’t freak out when they wake up and you’re not there,” she says, loosening her arms so Tobin can find her phone and text them.

Tobin sighs before releasing her grip on Christen and leans up to text. “I’m gunna go wash my face and change into my own clothes. Can I come back here after?” she asks, her face hopeful.

Christen nods, leaning back so Tobin can climb over her and out of bed. Ten minutes later, Tobin returns, her face still a little splotchy but a lot less red and looking cozier in sweatpants and a t shirt. She pulls her hair out of it’s half bun, slipping the hair tie onto her wrist before climbing back over Christen into bed. She immediately snuggles back into Christen’s side, putting her head on her shoulder instead of the pillow.

“Thanks for being there for me Chris. I’m sorry for being so shitty and not answering and then waking you up and crying on you and stuff,” she whispers, getting settled.

Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s slender frame. “It’s okay, I’m glad you talked to me about it. Maybe next time we can talk about it during the day instead of at 4 in the morning though,” she teases.

Tobin leans up, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry. Let’s go back to sleep and sleep in tomorrow, okay?”

Christen nods as Tobin puts her head back down on her shoulder. “Night Chris,” she mumbles, yawning.

“Goodnight Tobin,” Christen replies, adjusting a little to get comfortable with Tobin in her arms before closing her eyes. She falls asleep almost instantly, exhausted and content with Tobin’s warm body pressed up against hers.

 

Christen wakes up to the sunlight streaming through her window. She doesn’t need to open her eyes to know that she and Tobin haven’t moved at all after falling asleep and they’re still wrapped around each other in her twin bed. She stays still as long as she can, not wanting to disturb Tobin who continues sleeping soundly. However, she has never been one to stay in bed after waking up and after a while she can’t help it and she reaches behind her to grab her phone, trying not to move too much. She feels Tobin start to stir at her movement and she freezes, but Tobin just tightens her grip onto her and snuggles in further, her head on Christen’s chest, and doesn’t wake up. Christen glances at her phone, surprised that it’s already 11:30, and sees a couple of texts waiting for her.

 

**ARod:** Morning! Just wanted to check up on T, is she okay?

 

**KO:** omw back, want coffee?

**KO:** If you do you’ll have to get your own b/c I already left

**KO:** Oooh now I see why you didn’t answer. I’ll just give you guys some privacy…

 

She smiles, rolling her eyes at Kelley’s excessive use of suggestive emojis. The texts are from an hour ago so she quickly answers, asking where she is. She then responds to ARod, letting her know that Tobin is okay. She scrolls through her Instagram with one hand, and absentmindedly traces patterns up and down Tobin’s back with the other before she decides that they need to get up and eat before training at 1pm. She locks her phone, tucking it against her side before rubbing Tobin’s back a little less gently. “Tobs, wake up,” she says softly, bringing her hand up to brush her hair out of her face. Tobin stirs a little but doesn’t move much so Christen continues to try to wake her up. “C’mon Tobin, we gotta get up now,” she says a little louder, patting her back.

Tobin shakes her head and grumbles out a no. Christen tickles her fingers across Tobin’s back and to her side, wondering if Tobin is even ticklish. “Yes we do. If you get up now I’ll make you pancakes before training,” she laughs, as Tobin squirms away from her tickling fingers.

“Okay, okay! I’m up! Stop tickling me and go make me pancakes!” she yelps between laughs.

Christen relents, laughing as she starts to get up. Tobin swings an arm over her, pulling her back down to the bed. “Wait! First,” she starts, turning her head and puckering her lips at Christen. Christen smiles and leans down, pecking her lips before Tobin releases her. 

They eat a late breakfast of pancakes before getting their things and walking to the field together. Training is light and within two hours the team is back in the locker room, music blasting and excitement in the air about the party. Christen is standing near her locker talking to Kelley when she feels a tug on her shirtsleeve. She turns and Tobin is standing there grinning at her. “Hey, I’m gunna go grab some stuff from the suite and go shower at Cheney’s cuz my backpack is still there. Then I’m gunna go with Ash to the store so I’ll just meet up with you later tonight, okay?”

“Yupp, sounds good. See you tonight,” she nods, smiling widely before turning back to Kelley. She and Kelley walk back to the suite together, taking turns showering before walking over to the dining hall to grab dinner. On the walk back to the dorm, Kelley’s parents call and she waves Christen on, staying outside of their building to talk to them.

Ten minutes later she’s sitting on her floor in soccer shorts and a sports bra, straightening her hair when Kelley bursts into the room. “Ugh, what are you gunna wear? We have to leave for Ali and Ashlyn’s in like 30 minutes,” she whines. The team all refer to the house as Ali and Ashlyn’s even though Crystal, Whit, and Becky live there as well.

Christen gestures to her bed where she has ripped black jeans and a gray muscle tank set out to wear. “Just wear what you have on Kell, you look fine.” 

Kelley checks herself out and looks at Christen with a wrinkled nose, dissatisfied with her cotton shorts and white t shirt. “Then you’d look cuter than me,” she pouts, opening her closet and pulling her shorts off. “You should wear what you have on too,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively as she pulls a pair of jeans on.

Christen laughs as she stands up and gets her make up bag before sitting back down in front of the mirror. “Stop checking me out Kell, go bother JJ or Alyssa.”

“JJ is meeting us there because she’s on a date with Zach,” Kelley says. “I’ll go see if Alyssa is almost ready.”

Christen finishes up her make up and gets dressed and her, Kelley, and Alyssa climb into Kelley’s car, planning to arrive to the party early to help with whatever needs to be done. JJ texts them that Zach is dropping her off in a half hour and offers to DD Kelley’s car so the rest of them can drink.

They walk into the house and find Becky and Tobin playing Xbox in the living room. Christen’s eyes immediately land on Tobin, who is sprawled out with her bare feet on the coffee table, clearly concentrating on the game. Christen’s eyes trail up her body, taking in her ripped white jeans, black tank top, and backwards snapback, appreciating how she makes the casual outfit look perfect. She glances up as they enter, grinning at Christen before looking back to the game. “Hey, everyone is out back. We’ll be out soon,” Becky tells them and they follow the noise out onto the deck in the back.

Half the team is already out back drinking, music blasting through Bluetooth speakers. Ali is kneeling on the deck, writing on a white poster board and Ashlyn and Whit are building a bonfire in a brick fire pit on the back lawn. Christen wanders over to see what Ali is working on and reads over her shoulder. “Hey Chris, how’s it look?” Ali asks, glancing over her shoulder and smiling up at Christen. 

“'Please use back gate. Thank you,’” Christen reads. “Nice, very polite,” she jokes as Kelley walks by, pushing a cold Smirnoff Ice into Christen’s hands.

“Thank god this neighborhood is full of other college students because if we had to keep this party quiet and inside I would die,” Ali exaggerates, standing up and grabbing the poster. Christen helps her duck tape it over the front door and Ali stands back, admiring her work. “Whew, I need a shot. C’mon Pressy, I’ll show you where I keep the good stuff,” she says, grabbing Christen’s hand.

An hour later, Christen is only slightly buzzed, still nursing her first Smirnoff after taking a shot of vodka with Ali. The party is really starting to pick up, and the backyard is full, loud music with a heavy bass bumping after Ali changed the Pandora station from ‘Today’s Hits’ to ‘Ratchet Girl Radio’. As the party picks up, Christen cracks open her second Smirnoff and allows Kelley to talk her into a couple more shots of vodka. She’s just starting to feel a strong buzz as she stands around the table with the alcohol talking to teammates. She’s listening to Ashlyn tell a story when she feels arms slide around her waist. “Hey gorgeous,” lips ghost over her ear and she grins, her heart racing as she turns to see Tobin smiling back at her. 

“Hi,” she whispers, Tobin’s hands still on her waist. Tobin looks like she’s about to say something else when she’s interrupted by Sydney announcing that they should do tequila shots.

Christen thinks she must be more buzzed than she feels when she gets a surge of confidence and decides to show off a little. She thinks back to ‘pasta parties’ with her high school team where they would sneak their parents’ alcohol and ‘practice’ drinking. “Don’t take it straight,” she says, stopping Syd, who’s about to pour a shot. “Do you have salt and limes?” she asks Ashlyn. “I’ll show you the best way to take tequila shots.”

Ashlyn nods and disappears into the house. Christen turns to look at Tobin who looks surprised and amused at Christen’s sudden confidence. She grins at Tobin before turning back and pouring the tequila into a shot glass. Ashlyn returns with a bowl of lime wedges and a salt shaker, putting them down on the table. Christen takes a deep breath, forcing herself not to chicken out. “Can you help me?” she asks Tobin, who looks back at her confused.

“Help you take the shot?” Tobin asks, cocking her head to one side.

Christen nods, reaching out to push Tobin’s tank top to the side, thankful that she’s wearing a tank top with thin straps. “Can I put the salt here?” she asks, tracing her finger over Tobin’s collarbone. 

Tobin’s mouth is open slightly, her eyes wide as she nods quickly. Ashlyn snorts behind Christen. “Don’t forget to breathe, Heath,” she quips, watching the scene unfold with a few other teammates.

Christen grabs a lime wedge and holds it up to Tobin’s mouth, rind first. “Here, hold this between your teeth for me,” she requests. Tobin swallows hard before nodding and taking the lime between her teeth. Christen leans forward, the saltshaker in one hand and runs her tongue over Tobin’s collarbone before sprinkling salt on it, ignoring the wolf whistles from her teammates. She puts the saltshaker back on the table and picks up the tequila shot, turning back to her teammates. “Now this is how you take a tequila shot,” she states confidently before turning back to Tobin, who’s staring at her with wide eyes.

She winks at her, leaning forward and slowly sucking the salt off of Tobin’s collarbone before tossing the tequila back. She then leans forward again, her hand on the side of Tobin’s neck, and uses her teeth to take the lime wedge from Tobin’s mouth, their lips just barely brushing together as she sucks the lime wedge into her own mouth, leaning back slowly and looking Tobin in the eyes. Tobin looks flustered for what might be the first time ever and she is gaping at her, her eyes even wider than Christen thought possible and shining in the dimly lit backyard. Christen lets her hand drop from the side of Tobin’s neck and turns back to her teammates, victorious, pulling the lime wedge out of her mouth with a smile. “Holy shit Press, that was hot and completely unexpected from you!” Syd yelps, the rest of the team echoing similar sentiments as Christen laughs.

She turns back to Tobin when she feels her grab her hand. “Come with me for a second,” Tobin pleads. Christen nods, allowing Tobin to tug her along behind her off the deck as the team eggs them on. Tobin pulls her around the side of the house where there’s no one else around and whirls around. She takes a couple steps towards Christen and Christen instinctually steps back, her shoulder blades hitting against the siding on the house. Tobin steps closer until they are just inches apart. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” she whispers, ghosting her fingers up Christen’s arm.

Christen shivers at Tobin’s touch, not sure how to respond. She looks her over, her eyes lingering where there’s still some salt on her collarbone. “You still have a little salt here,” she whispers, leaning forward and sucking the remnants off Tobin’s skin slowly, relishing the feeling of Tobin shivering under her mouth. After a couple of seconds Tobin halts her by grabbing her face and pulling her up before crashing their lips together roughly. Tobin steps closer so their bodies are flush, Christen’s back up against the house.

Tobin kisses her hungrily, licking the taste of salt, lime, and tequila off her lips and from the inside of her mouth. Christen is still riding a high from her confidence surge and she kisses Tobin back just as fervently, their tongues fighting for dominance as their hands roam over each other’s bodies. A scream and laughter from the backyard startles them apart and they look at each other, both breathing heavily. “Do you want to leave?” Christen whispers, dizzy with desire and from the alcohol.

Tobin closes her eyes and rests her forehead against Christen’s pulling in a few deep breaths before leaning back and pecking her on the lips. “I do. I really, really do. But you’re a little drunk and I’ve had a few drinks too, and I don’t want to move too fast and do anything you’re not ready for,” she says quietly, grabbing Christen’s hand in her own. “We have plenty of time to make it special when were both sober and not worried about our roommates coming home, okay? We don’t need to rush.”

Christen’s heart swells at Tobin’s thoughtfulness and she nods, feeling a sense of relief instead of disappointment. She puts her hands on Tobin’s cheeks, kissing her slowly in an attempt to convey her feelings. She pulls back and lets her hands fall to her sides as Tobin grins at her. “We should probably go back before people start to worry about us,” Tobin says, gesturing to the backyard.

Christen nods but grabs Tobin’s hand before she can step away. Tobin looks at her questioningly. “Thank you,” she whispers, looking Tobin in the eyes.

Tobin cocks her head to one side. “For what?”

“For not letting us rush. For wanting it to be special,” she says, holding Tobin’s hand in her own.

Tobin smiles and brushes some hair behind Christen’s ear. “Of course Chris. But no more tequila shots tonight or else you might tempt me into changing my mind,” she teases.

Christen laughs and pushes off the house, allowing Tobin to lead her back to the party, all the while wondering how she could have gotten so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made this chapter a little longer than usual because I'm gunna be away this week and probably won't be able to update till early next week. Sorry! You can visit me on tumblr in the meantime to ask questions or let me know what you like or don't like and what you wanna see next. Hope everyone had a good weekend...3 more days till gameday! :)


	19. Should we trade?

As the party dwindles down, Christen is cuddled onto Tobin’s lap in a lawn chair, while the fire slowly dies out in front of them. Tobin has one arm wrapped around Christen and the other resting on the armrest, clutching a bottle of water that she keeps letting Christen steal sips of. Tobin is leaning back, talking quietly to Ashlyn, and Christen can’t help but watch Tobin as she talks, captivated by the fire’s dying embers reflected in the soft brown of her eyes. Only teammates remain at the party and Christen can feel her eyelids drooping, comforted by the warmth of Tobin’s body and the sound of her voice. She lets head head drop back on Tobin’s shoulder, enjoying the simple intimacy of being on her lap.

After a while, Ali walks over, leaning in to whisper in Ashlyn’s ear. “Welp, that’s my cue. Night guys,” Ashlyn says, jumping up and lacing her hand in Ali’s before following behind her into the house. Christen lifts her head slightly to watch them go before dropping her head back to Tobin’s shoulder again.

Tobin leans forward and puts her water bottle on the ground before wrapping both of her arms around Christen. “Getting sleepy babe?” she questions quietly, adjusting Christen in her lap so she’s sideways across Tobin’s legs.

Christen allows herself to be adjusted, putting one arm over Tobin’s shoulder’s, behind her neck and putting her head back on Tobin’s shoulder, almost nuzzled into her neck, before nodding in response to Tobin’s question.

“How are you getting home?” Tobin asks, pulling Christen tighter to her chest.

“Julie,” Christen mumbles.

Tobin cranes her neck to look around the backyard. “I don’t see her. Want me to just drive you?”

Christen leans her head back a little to peak at Tobin. “Can you drive?” she questions, trying to remember how much Tobin drank.

“Yeah, I had like 2 and a half beers but that was over 3 hours ago and I’ve been drinking water since then. Do you want me to bring you home?”

Christen just nods, too tired to respond. Tobin slips her arm under Christen’s knees, keeping her other arm behind her back as she stands up, holding her bridal style. Christen immediately clings to Tobin’s shoulders. “Tobin, what are you doing? I can walk,” she mumbles.

“I got you babe. You’re tired. Plus, you aren’t heavy,” Tobin responds, walking towards the side of the house. She kicks the unlatched gate open, carrying Christen into the front yard towards where her Jeep is parked. She only puts Christen down when she gets to the passenger side door. “Fuck,” she mutters, patting her pockets. “I gotta go find my keys. Wanna wait here or come with?” she asks, grinning guiltily at Christen. 

Christen can’t help but giggle, shaking her head at Tobin. “I’ll come with you. I should find Julie and tell her that you’re bringing me back anyway,” she responds, feeling a little more awake.

Tobin laces their hands together, leading Christen to the front door instead of going around the back again. She drops Christen’s hand and tugs down the poster board that Ali had taped over the door before pulling it open for Christen. She follows Christen through the door and begins looking around the room for her keys, trying to be quiet to avoid waking Kling and Morgan, who are passed out on the couch and loveseat. After sifting through a pile of coats and sweatshirts draped over a chair, she turns to Christen and shrugs, empty handed.

They head in to the kitchen next, with Tobin leading the way. Kelley and Emily stand huddled around the stove, using giant serving spoons to eat macaroni and cheese out of a pot. They both look up when Tobin and Christen walk in, frozen as if they had been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. “What are you guys doing?” Christen asks slowly, amused by their guilty expressions.

“Uhh…want some mac and cheese?” Emily mumbles through a mouthful.

Kelley reaches out and slaps Emily’s shoulder. “Don’t give away our food! Plus CP doesn’t want our mac. She’s got something else she wants to eat tonight,” she insinuates, grinning suggestively and looking over at Tobin who is busy searching the messy kitchen table for her car keys.

Christen’s eyes widen and she looks over at Tobin, who doesn’t even react, before she turns back to glare at Kelley.

“They’re not here either. Must be outside,” Tobin mutters, finally turning around and noticing at the standoff between Christen and Kelley. “‘Sup Sonnett. Hey KO. Everything okay?” she asks, glancing between the three with a puzzled expression. 

Kelley nods, grinning devilishly at Christen before turning back to the stove and shoveling another bite of mac and cheese into her mouth. Emily shrugs and smiles at Tobin before she follows Kelley’s lead and turns back to the stove. Christen rolls her eyes and walks to the back door, Tobin trailing behind her.

Alyssa, Julie, Lauren, Amy, Whitney, and Becky are the only people still left outside and they sit around the table on the deck, talking quietly. Tobin beelines it straight to Cheney, tugging on her shirt to get her attention. “I can’t find my keys,” she complains once Cheney turns to her.

“I have them,” Amy quips, opening her purse. She pulls out the lanyard with Tobin’s keys but freezes and narrows her eyes at Tobin, still clutching the keys. “Wait a minute. Are you trying to leave without us?”

Tobin shrugs, adjusting the snapback on her head. “Christen is tired. I was gunna take her home,” she responds.

“What about us?” Amy asks, still not handing the keys over.

Tobin shrugs again. “I dunno ARod. Couldn’t you just like Uber home or something?” she mumbles, looking down at her hands. 

“I’m driving Alyssa, Kelley, and Emily back and I think we’re about to leave too if you guys want a ride back,” Julie offers. “If Chris goes with Tobin we definitely have room for one but we’ll have to squeeze a little bit to drive you both.”

“Tobin, are you still sleeping over tonight?” Cheney asks, craning her neck a bit to look up at Tobin.

Tobin glances at Christen briefly before nodding in response.

“Okay, so how about you just let Christen go with Julie, and Amy and I will come with you?” Cheney reasons.

Christen watches Tobin’s face fall slightly as she continues looking down, fiddling with her ring. “Yeah, I guess,” she mumbles, sighing.

Cheney, ARod, and Alyssa help Becky and Whitney clean up while Julie heads inside to round up Kelley and Emily. Christen follows Julie inside to go to the bathroom before they leave and when she comes out, Tobin is leaning on the wall across from the bathroom door waiting for her. “Hey,” she says quietly, pushing off the wall. “I’m sorry I can’t take you home. But I’ll see you tomorrow right? For our date?” she questions, sounding a bit unsure, her eyes searching Christen’s face. 

Christen smiles and nods, stepping a little closer to Tobin. “It’s okay. What are we doing tomorrow?” 

Tobin shakes her head grinning and reaches her hands out to rest them on Christen’s waist. “That’s privileged information gorgeous. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Christen pouts and runs her hands up Tobin’s forearms, letting them come to a stop on her biceps. “Well what time should I be ready?” 

Tobin shrugs, her fingers toying with the hem of Christen’s tank top. “I dunno Chris. The morning I guess?”

“Are you asking me or telling me? And the morning is kinda vague. Like are we talking 7am here? Or like 11am?” she questions, wanting to know the plan for the day.

“Definitely not 7am. I guess just be ready by like 10ish and I’ll text you when I’m coming to get you okay?”

Christen nods still slightly pouting about not knowing what Tobin has planned. Tobin laughs at her petulance, leaning forward to kiss away Christen’s pout. Just a second after Christen begins returning the kiss they are interrupted by Julie calling out to Christen from the kitchen, asking if she’s ready to go. “Yeah, be right there,” Christen calls over her shoulder before turning back to Tobin and smiling apologetically. “I guess I should go. See you tomorrow Tobs,” she says, leaning forward to peck her on the lips once more before turning and heading back towards the kitchen.

  

Christen wakes up the next morning to Kelley crawling into her bed, whining about a headache. She checks her phone and sees that it’s already 9am so she only indulges Kelley’s cuddling for a few minutes before climbing over her and starting to get ready.

She stands in front of her closet unsure about what to wear. She checks the weather and sees that it’s going to be hot and humid with a chance of thunderstorms later in the afternoon. She assumes they’ll be inside but isn’t sure how casual to dress. She finally decides to just text Tobin and ask her. She answers within a minute and Christen looks down at her phone as it buzzes again in her hand, rolling her eyes at Tobin’s response.

 

**Tobs:** I don’t know you look good in everything

**Tobs:** I’m wearing shorts and a t shirt but wear whatever you want

**Tobs:** Something casual

**Tobs:** Be there in 20 to get you

 

Christen’s eyes widen at the last text and she quickly puts her phone down and grabs a pair of tan shorts and a tank top to wear. She grabs her make up bag and heads to the bathroom to avoid waking Kelley up by getting ready in the room. She’s still working on her hair when she hears the door to the suite open. A few minutes later, Tobin appears behind her, leaning on the doorway and smiling at Christen through the mirror.

“Hi,” she says softly, holding up a coffee cup. “Brought you a cappuccino.”

Christen smiles back at Tobin in the mirror. “Thanks Tobs. I’ll be ready in like 10 minutes. Is that okay?” 

Tobin nods, sipping from the coffee cup in her other hand. “Yeah, no problem. Are you hungry? I brought bagels but I wasn’t sure what kind you like so I got a bunch and we can just leave the rest for KO and JJ and Alyssa.”

“Okay, sounds good. What are we doing today?” Christen asks, picking up her mascara.

Tobin shakes her head, grinning. “Not telling. It’s a surprise.”

“At least tell me if I’m dressed okay?” Christen asks, trying to even out her mascara.

Tobin shrugs, “yeah, you look really beautiful Chris.”

Christen blushes, looking down to put her make up away before turning to face Tobin. She’s wearing white linen shorts and a black v neck, her hair down in soft curls. “You look really beautiful too,” she says quietly, reaching out to take the cappuccino from Tobin’s outstretched hand. 

They sit at the kitchen counter eating bagels and laughing about their teammates' antics at the party the night before. Once they are done, Christen goes to her room to grab her phone and wallet and a rain jacket at Tobin’s request. Kelley is still in Christen’s bed and lifts her head when she enters the room. “CP. Where are you going?” she mumbles sleepily. 

“I’m not really sure. I’m going out with Tobin. There’s bagels on the counter for when you get up,” she replies, pulling her rain jacket out of her closet.

Kelley just nods, her eyes already closed again. Christen walks back into the living room where Tobin is waiting by the door. Tobin takes the rain jacket from Christen and shoves it into her backpack before pulling the door open. Christen follows her out of the suite and down to her Jeep. Tobin only drives for a few minutes, not even leaving campus, before pulling into a parking lot. Christen cranes her neck trying to look around. “Where are we?” she questions, not really seeing anything familiar.

“You’ll see. Come on, hopefully the weather holds out for us,” Tobin responds, getting out of the Jeep and pulling her orange backpack from the backseat. Christen gets out, following Tobin across the street and down a few brick steps. The steps lead to a tunnel made of wooden posts with green vines overgrowing the sides and top of the tunnel.

Christen reads a small placard outside of the tunnel. “Coker Arboretum?” she questions, looking up at Tobin.

Tobin fiddles with the straps of her backpack, looking around. “Yeah, have you been? I thought we could walk around for a little. I know it’s supposed to rain but I thought it would be pretty quiet and we might have the place to ourselves if the weather isn’t great. But we could go do something else if you want,” Tobin babbles. 

“No this is perfect Tobin,” Christen reassures. Tobin takes a deep breath and grins, lacing their fingers together and leading Christen into the tunnel. They wander around the park, up and down meandering paths, admiring the plants and flowers.

After a little while, Tobin pulls Christen over to a wooden bench and they sit down. She opens her backpack and digs around in it, pulling out a few wrinkled sheets of paper. “So this might be kinda dumb but I was looking up the hours and making sure this was open today and they have this scavenger hunt we could do. It’s for little kids but I thought it might be fun to do it anyway,” she says, shrugging and holding the papers out to Christen. 

Christen smiles and takes the papers from Tobin, giggling at the clip art bordering the page. “No this looks fun,” she says, reading over the scavenger hunt list.

They spend the next hour working on the scavenger hunt, laughing and talking as they stroll along the deserted paths. They’re searching for a plant with berries and flowers on it when it starts to drizzle. Tobin pulls Christen’s rain jacket out of her backpack and holds it out to her before grabbing her own and pulling it on. “Come on, we need to find this stupid plant before we leave,” she laughs, intertwining their fingers. 

They walk along in the steady but light rain for another few minutes, both of their eyes peeled at the plants bordering the path. “There!” Tobin yelps excitedly, pointing at a plant on their right. “That counts right?”

Christen takes a few steps closer to study the plant. There’s a single brown shriveled flower barely hanging on and few dark berries dotting the green plant. Christen shrugs and nods, “Yeah, I think that counts.”

Tobin pumps her fist in victory, folding up their scavenger hunt and tucking it into her backpack. She’s just zipping it closed when a crack of thunder makes them both jump. Not two seconds later, the skies open up and it starts to rain hard. Tobin grabs Christen’s hand, laughing already. They walk quickly down the paths back towards the exit all the way on the other side of the park.

Christen normally would be frustrated about being caught in the rain, not wanting her clothes to get wet or her hair to get ruined, but Tobin is laughing and swinging their hands between them and skipping through the rapidly forming puddles instead of avoiding them and Christen can’t help but feel a childish sense of lightness about the whole thing. Soon she’s stomping through puddles as well and throwing her head back in laughter as Tobin drops her hand to run and jump into a particularly large puddle, chasing away a few birds that had just landed near it. Christen watches Tobin, her rain jacket flapping open in the wind, her hood falling off her head, and her backpack bouncing against her back as she spreads her arms and chases the birds, before turning back to Christen, laughing. Christen can’t help but feel a surge of affection for Tobin as she walks back towards her, her hair wild and wet and a giant grin on her face.

Christen quickly closes the rest of the distance between them, throwing her arms around Tobin’s neck and laughing when Tobin staggers back a step and grabs her around the waist, lifting her into the air and spinning them around before loosening her grip and letting her drop back to the ground. Christen giggles, keeping her arms over Tobin’s shoulders to steady herself. “It’s raining,” Tobin says, breathlessly. 

“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed,” Christen laughs out.

Tobin tilts her head back squinting up at the sky and opening her mouth to catch raindrops before looking back at Christen with a small smile.

“You’re cute,” Christen blurts out without thinking.

Tobin’s grin widens and she pulls Christen closer so their bodies are flush. “You’re cuter,” she says, her eyes on Christen’s mouth as she leans in. Christen closes the distance, kissing away the cold raindrops on Tobin’s lips. As their lips mesh together perfectly, suddenly the cold rain soaking them doesn’t matter anymore. Christen brings her hands up and tangles them in Tobin’s wet hair. And up until this moment, Christen hated the rain, the Cali girl in her always preferring warm sunny days, but now she thinks that rain might be her favorite weather as she feels the cold water droplets running down her heated face and Tobin’s hands move to her lower back, holding her tightly. Tobin tastes like rain and mint and it’s refreshing and intoxicating and Christen’s head swims as Tobin’s teeth gently tug her lower lip. Christen isn’t sure how long they’ve been kissing when a loud crack of thunder startles them apart but it must be a while because they both pull back panting. Christen carefully pulls her hands out of Tobin’s tangled hair and Tobin reaches up and tucks a piece of Christen’s hair back to where it had escaped from her hood.

“Come on we should go get dry,” she says softly, still catching her breath before she grabs Christen’s hand and leads her the rest of the way back to the Jeep. Tobin pauses after clicking her seatbelt on and looks over at Christen. “Is it okay if we go back to Cheney and ARod’s? Neither will be home all day and I thought maybe we can just hang out and watch a movie and like order food or something? I have clothes there that you can borrow.”

Christen nods, pushing her hood down. “Sounds good to me,” she responds, smiling at Tobin.

Once back at Cheney and ARod’s, Tobin lets them in using a key on her lanyard. She drops her backpack next to the door. “Did you want to shower? Or just change?” she asks, kicking her shoes off.

Christen runs her hand over her hair, pleased that her rain jacket did it’s job and her hair has stayed dry. “I’ll just change,” she responds, eager to dry off her legs and get out of her wet shorts.

Tobin nods, hanging her coat on a hook by the door before taking Christen’s and hanging it up as well. She leads them into a bedroom and pulls open the bottom drawer of a dresser. “What do you want to wear? I kinda only have like soccer stuff here so is sweatpants and a t shirt okay? Or you could wear something of Cheney or ARod’s if you want?”

“No that’s okay. Sweatpants and a t shirt sounds great,” she reassures, rubbing her hand on Tobin’s shoulder as she crouches in front of the open drawer.

Tobin nods, digging around in the drawer. “Okay, I’m just gunna grab some clothes and take a quick shower but you can wear whatever you want out of this drawer. It’s all my stuff,” she explains, pulling some clothes out for herself. “You can change in here, the bathrooms right there and there’s towels under the sink. I’ll go shower in ARod’s bathroom.” 

Christen watches Tobin leave the bedroom, pulling the door shut behind her. She goes into the bathroom and strips, grabbing a towel to dry off her legs before heading back into the bedroom and to the drawer of Tobin’s clothes. She pulls out a pair of comfy looking blue sweatpants with a number 17 on the leg and pulls them on. She then searches through the drawer, finding a gray t shirt with USA written across the front. 

She folds up her clothes and closes the drawer before looking around the room. It’s clearly Cheney’s room and she wanders over to where a string is hung across one wall with a dozen pictures clipped to it. They’re all pictures of Cheney with friends or family but the few pictures with Tobin are the ones that catch her eye. There’s one of them together at around middle school age, Cheney with an arm over Tobin’s shoulders and Tobin smiling up at her in a huge t shirt and a backwards baseball hat. There’s two pictures of Cheney, ARod, and Tobin, one as kids and one that looks more recent. Christen smiles, looking at each one before she leaves the bedroom and puts her clothes by the front door. She can still hear the shower running down the hall so she plops down on the couch and starts scrolling through her phone while waiting for Tobin. 

A few minutes later Tobin pads into the living room in black joggers and a TOCA t shirt, making Christen start laughing. “What?” Tobin questions with a furrowed brow.

“That’s my shirt,” Christen explains, pointing at Tobin.

Tobin looks down at the shirt and shrugs, grinning at Christen. “Okay well that’s my shirt,” she says, pointing at Christen. Christen smiles and copies Tobin by shrugging. “Are you hungry? We can order food now or we can just have some snacks and maybe go out and get some food later?” Tobin offers.

“I’m okay with snacks,” Christen responds, getting up off the couch.

A half an hour later they have each had an apple with peanut butter and Tobin is microwaving popcorn while they talk about watching a movie. “Let’s watch in Cheney’s room that way we can lay down,” Tobin says, peering into the microwave to watch the popcorn bag expand.

They settle into Cheney’s bed, and Tobin turns on the television, navigating to Netflix. After a half an hour of searching through movies, the popcorn is gone and they still haven’t picked anything. Tobin groans and pushes the remote into Christen’s hands. “I give up. Just put on whatever.”

Christen takes the remote, laughing while Tobin moves the empty popcorn bowl onto the nightstand. “I’m just gunna close my eyes and pick something,” she says, pointing the remote at the TV. She presses the arrow buttons a few times before pressing select and opening her eyes.

“E.T.? Really Christen?” Tobin asks, looking over at her with an eyebrow raised.

Christen shrugs, handing Tobin the remote. “At least I picked something.”

Tobin puts the remote on the nightstand and moves closer to Christen, settling back against the pillows and pulling the blanket up. “How come you sleep here sometimes?” Christen asks, looking around the room as the movie starts.

Tobin rolls onto her side to face her. “I dunno. I don’t like being alone I guess.”

“Do you sleep in bed with Cheney?”

“Yeah, usually. Sometimes ARod,” Tobin answers.

“So is this where you were all those times you didn’t sleep in the suite during preseason?”

Tobin rolls back onto her back to face the TV. “Sometimes. I’ve slept other places too. Like at Ali and Ashlyn’s a few times and I’ve slept on a futon in Kling’s room before.”

“But why? Why not just sleep in your own bed?” Christen questions.

Tobin shrugs. “I don’t really know. It’s really easy for me to fall asleep but I wake up a lot and I don’t like waking up by myself. And I like drifting around a little and switching things up so I don't get bored.”

“Were you always like that? Even when you were little?” Christen asks, studying Tobin’s profile.

Tobin laughs, shaking her head. “No way. I used to hate to be away from home when I was really little. When my parents divorced and my mom moved out I was most upset about the fact that I was gunna have to spend half my time away from home. Then a year after that my mom moved to Florida and I was pissed. I spent a summer there and I hated it. I don’t even know why. It was a nice house and we weren’t far from the beach but it wasn’t home. And when I started traveling for youth camps I used to get so homesick. I cried a lot my first camp and Cheney was my roommate. She probably thought I was such a loser but I just wanted to go home. She and ARod would smuggle me Oreos and stuff from the snack chest because I was like too homesick to even eat. But then after my mom died I didn’t want to be home anymore. So I started sleeping over friends’ houses when I was in Jersey or just traveling a lot when I didn’t have school. That first summer there was only one youth camp but I couldn’t stand to be home for almost the whole summer so I went and stayed with Cheney instead,” Tobin finishes, looking over at Christen to see if she’s still listening. 

Christen offers a small smile and grabs Tobin’s hand, toying with her fingers while she lets her words sink in. “Your dad didn’t mind letting you travel and spend so much time away from home?” she asks after a few minutes.

Tobin shrugs, looking down at their joined hands. “I don’t know. I blamed him for the divorce and I was angry with him for a while. He’s not a bad father. He took me to all my soccer games and practices and he encouraged me to keep playing when I was little and I always had everything I needed growing up. But I think he doesn’t really get me. I don’t think many people do. He wants me to make plans and be more organized. He thinks I don’t care about anything. And as I got older he was less and less supportive of my soccer. He wants me to have long-term plans and he doesn’t think that I can make a career out of soccer. And he’s pretty religious so when I came out to him it was just another thing for us to disagree on.”

“How old were you when you told him?” Christen asks quietly, surprised that Tobin is sharing so much with her.

“I guess I was like 15. My sisters both knew already. And my oldest sister was moving in with her boyfriend and I don’t remember what exactly he said but it was something about me getting a boyfriend or something and I kinda just told him that it wasn’t gunna happen because I didn’t like guys. And I know that a lot of people have it way worse when they come out to their parents. Like he didn’t scream at me or kick me out or anything like that. He was just like, I don’t know, he just didn’t say anything at all. I know he doesn’t approve and he’s disappointed even if he doesn’t say it. We haven’t talked a lot since then,” Tobin shrugs, running her free hand through her hair, her gaze focused on the television.

Christen runs her thumb over Tobin’s knuckles. “I’m sorry Tobs. That must be so hard. Even if he didn’t yell or kick you out that doesn’t mean that you can’t be hurt or upset by how he did react.”

“I guess,” Tobin shrugs again, glancing over at Christen briefly.

They watch the movie for a few minutes before Christen speaks up again. “When did you know you were gay?”

Tobin turns to look at Christen, studying her face with an unreadable expression before answering. “I don’t know. I never had like crushes or anything when I was little because all I cared about was soccer. But I guess I knew by the time I was like 13 maybe. When did you know?” she asks, still looking at Christen intently. 

Christen turns onto her side to face Tobin as well. “I think that I always kinda knew somewhere in the back of my mind that my girl crushes were more than just admitting that another girl was pretty. But when my ex asked me out I guess I just felt all this pressure from friends to date him. Everyone kept saying how we would be such a great couple. And he was a great friend and I liked being friends with him but I didn’t like him as anything more than a friend. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me until I realized why I didn’t like him that way. I came out to my parents last year and they were really great about it but I haven’t told my friends back home yet. I’m gunna tell them next time I’m home,” she answers truthfully.

“How do you think they’re going to react?” Tobin asks, reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind Christen’s ear.

“I don’t know. I think they’ll probably be a little surprised at first but I think they just want me to be happy.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what? Happy?” Christen questions.

Tobin nods, looking into Christen’s eyes with a serious expression.

“Yeah Tobs. Really happy. Are you?” she says with a small smile.

Tobin’s face relaxes and breaks into a grin. “Yeah, me too,” she answers, leaning forward to kiss Christen softly before pulling back. They lay like that for a while, alternating between talking and kissing, the movie playing in the background completely forgotten. The kisses have remained fairly innocent and after a while, Christen climbs out of bed to grab them a bottle of water from the kitchen. When she returns, she can feel Tobin’s gaze on her as she walks across the room sipping the water. She stops next to the bed, capping the water and looking over at Tobin. Tobin stares back at her, her eyes narrowed and lip between her teeth.

“What?” Christen asks, holding out the water bottle to Tobin before climbing into the bed.

Tobin sits up in bed and takes the water bottle, immediately turning to put it on the night table before turning back to Christen. “I like seeing you in my clothes. It’s hot,” she answers, her voice slightly raspy. 

Christen heart rate immediately picks up and she smiles, crawling closer to Tobin. “You’re wearing my clothes too,” she says, tugging on the t shirt Tobin has on.

Tobin crosses her arms in front of her, grabbing the hem of the t shirt as if she is about to pull it off. “So should we trade?” she asks, smirking and pulling the shirt up slightly.

Christen knows it’s a challenge and for once she wants to prove that she can keep her cool around the midfielder. So she ignores her racing heart and the blush she can feel creeping over her face. “Sure,” she says, shrugging her shoulders and grabbing the bottom of the t shirt she borrowed from Tobin. In one swift movement she pulls it off, revealing a simple black bra, thankful that she had put on one of her nice ones that morning. She holds the shirt out to Tobin, looking up to see her reaction. Tobin has frozen, her hands still holding the hem of her t shirt, lifting it slightly to reveal just a sliver of her stomach. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes are widened as they rake over Christen’s chest and stomach. Christen is surprised that she doesn’t feel self conscious in the slightest under Tobin’s scrutiny. Instead she feels even more confident, reading the desire evident in Tobin’s gaze.

She decides to break Tobin out of her daze and waves the t shirt in front of her. Tobin shakes her head and her eyes snap up from Christen’s chest to her face. “Chris…” she rasps out, her eyes still wide.

“Yes?” Christen asks, feigning innocence.

Tobin opens and closes her mouth a couple times and Christen can literally see the effort she is making to keep her eyes on her face instead of drifting down. “You’re so hot. Are you trying to kill me?” Tobin finally responds, her voice sounding hoarse. 

Christen grins and shakes her head, dropping the t shirt onto the bed. “No, I just thought you wanted to trade,” she says simply.

Tobin swallows hard and takes a deep breath before seeming to gather some composure and grinning at Christen. “Okay let’s trade,” she states, climbing out of bed and standing next to it. She slowly peels her shirt up, her eyes never leaving Christen’s, a slight smirk on her face.

Christen eventually breaks the gaze almost involuntarily as her eyes flit down to take in Tobin’s body. Her sweatpants sit low on her hips and Christen’s eyes greedily trail over the exposed skin of Tobin’s stomach as she finally pulls the shirt over her head. She’s wearing a gray sports bra and Christen can just make out the peaks of her nipples through the fabric. Before she can even react, Tobin throws the t shirt at her and grabs the other shirt off the bed, swiftly pulling it on. Christen holds the thrown t shirt in her hands, staring at Tobin dumbfounded.

“Put your shirt on Christen. I’m hungry and you’ll be cold if you go out to eat like that,” she says, smiling innocently at Christen.

Christen rolls her eyes and groans before pulling the shirt on.

After getting ready, they sprint to Tobin’s Jeep through the rain, their hands swinging together between them. Tobin drops her hand and yanks the passenger side door open for her, slamming it after she jumps in and jogging around to the driver’s side. Once inside the jeep she pushes her hood down and grins over at Christen. “I have a really important question for you,” she states, trying to keep a straight face.

“Okay shoot.”

“How do you feel about tacos?” Tobin asks, biting her lips to keep from smiling.

“Uh, good? I like them?” she giggles, a little confused.

“Okay, good to know,” Tobin laughs out as she starts the Jeep and types an address into her phone for directions. She holds Christen’s hand as she drives, her fingers drumming a beat on the back of Christen’s hand as she hums along to the radio. She drives into a small town square and stops in front of a restaurant labeled Chronic Tacos. “I heard this place is pretty casual and cheap and good so I figured we should try it out,” she says, unclicking her seatbelt and pulling her hood up.

The tacos end up being delicious and they share chips and guac and a few different tacos after having a hard time making up their minds. They’re finishing up when Tobin’s phone chirps from inside her pocket. She pulls it out and reads the text, rolling her eyes. “It’s Cheney. We have a history test Tuesday and she thinks we should study for it,” she groans.

Christen laughs, sipping her water. “You probably should. I have homework to do too.”

Tobin drives them back to campus, throwing her Jeep in park near the back door of their building. She runs her fingers through her hair, her knee bouncing up and down. “So,” she starts, her voice sounding unsure. “I know that this probably wasn’t some like special romantic day and I hope it wasn’t too disappointing. I guess I kinda suck at this." 

Christen leans over and brings her hand to Tobin’s cheek, turning her head so she is looking at her. “Tobin. Today was romantic and you definitely don’t suck at this. I’m not disappointed at all. Today was perfect. Don’t worry,” she says sincerely, looking into Tobin’s eyes intently.

Tobin’s nervous expression melts into a small smile. “So then would you wanna go out with me again some time?”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far,” Christen teases, laughing. Tobin rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m kidding. Of course I want to go out with you again Tobs,” she reassures, leaning in and kissing Tobin softly. “Now go study! If I don’t see you tonight I’ll see you in the morning for class okay?”

Tobin nods, leaning forward and pecking Christen on the lips again. “Alright. Night Pressy,” she says, waiting for Christen to get out and get inside the door of their building before honking once and driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a struggle to write for some reason and I don't love it but I'm just posting it anyway before I second guess it too much. Hopefully it's not as bad as I think lol. Also, I know I was doing a pretty good job of updating often but I think going forward it's gunna be more like a week or so between chapters. So sorry!! I'm just really swamped with research and I'm moving like across the country this summer so a lot to get done before then! I'll do my best though and as always you can leave comments or visit me on tumblr to let me know what you think/what you wanna see next!


	20. I do what I want

Tobin isn’t there when Christen goes to wake her up Monday morning. She tries not to feel too disappointed as she pulls her Nikes on and leaves the suite by herself. She’s just walking into the building when her phone chirps from her back pocket. She pulls it out as she walks down the hall, smiling as she reads a text from Tobin.

 

**Tobs:** Hi don’t worry I’m awake

**Tobs:** Chen woke me up lol see you soon

**Tobs:** Save me a seat?

 

She shoots back a thumbs up emoji as she walks into the lecture hall for their English class. She’s 10 minutes early and one of the first ones there, so she picks a seat in a middle row, leaving the aisle seat open for Tobin, and entertains herself on her phone while she waits. Tobin isn’t there when class begins and Christen isn’t surprised.

It’s not until 15 minutes into class that Christen hears the door creak open and the professor fixes a glare at the back of the room before continuing on with the lecture. Christen doesn’t need to look to know that it’s Tobin that came through the door, but she finds herself turning in her seat anyway. Tobin is slowly making her way down the aisle, her eyes scanning the room. Christen drinks in her appearance, from the flip-flops on her feet to her wavy brown hair, pulled over one shoulder. Her eyes linger on the tanned skin peaking through the holes in Tobin’s ripped blue jeans before trailing up over her Carolina blue t shirt, contrasting with the orange backpack on her back and the orange wheels on the long board tucked under her arm. She finally brings her eyes up to Tobin’s face, finding her grinning back at her as she stops at Christen’s row, dropping her backpack and long board to the floor before sliding into the seat next to her. Christen quickly looks down at her notebook as Tobin’s long board clatters to the ground, trying to appear focused on the lecture.

“Good mornin’ gorgeous,” Tobin says as she slumps into her seat, not bothering to lower her voice, earning looks from a few students around them.

Christen quickly shushes Tobin, still looking down at her notebook. She waits a few seconds before glancing over at Tobin who’s looking back at her with her head cocked to the side and one eyebrow raised in a familiar expression of slight confusion and amusement that brings Christen all the way back to the very first time she had laid eyes on Tobin. She feels a blush creeping up her neck at the thoughts of their first meeting and quickly shakes her head, trying to clear her mind.

Tobin just cocks her head even more, confusion over taking the amusement on her face. “No? It’s not a good morning?” she questions, thankfully in a much lower voice.

“No,” Christen quickly whispers, glancing up to the front of the hall to make sure the professor hasn’t noticed that they’re not paying attention. “No, I don’t mean that it’s not a good morning,” she tries to clarify, blushing even harder as the amusement reappears on Tobin’s face. Christen takes a deep breath, internally scolding herself for continuing to let Tobin have this effect on her. She glances up at the professor once more before turning back to Tobin to try again. “You’re late,” she finally whispers, immediately feeling dumb for not being able to come up with anything else to say.

Tobin breaks into a grin at Christen’s words. “Oh, am I?” she whispers innocently, looking down at the Apple watch on her wrist for effect.

Christen rolls her eyes and picks her pen back up. “Pay attention,” she whispers, working to refocus on the lecture even though she can feel Tobin’s eyes on her.

  

The next few days pass in a similar fashion. Tobin is still ridiculously unpredictable and Christen finds herself becoming frustrated by her inconsistency. Before they started dating, or whatever it is that they’re doing, Christen had been able to brush off Tobin’s unreliability, but now she’s realizing that she needs to learn how to deal with it. It’s all so new and all so confusing, and this is just how Tobin is, Christen thinks, mercurial and aloof at times, all wrapped up with a radiant smile.

Christen gives up trying to guess whether Tobin will be there for dinner with teammates or in the suite at night or in her bed in the morning. She’s there when Christen goes to sleep Monday night, sending her to bed with a searing kiss that leaves Christen breathless before returning to the living room to finish an assignment she’d been working on. She’s gone Tuesday morning, strolling into class 10 minutes late with a cappuccino in one hand and a grin on her face. On Tuesday night, she comes in late, crawling into Christen’s bed a little after midnight, wrapping her up in her arms and peppering kisses along her neck and jaw as Christen drowsily clings onto her t shirt, breathing in Tobin’s intoxicating scent and relishing the warmth of her body as she falls back asleep. However, when she wakes up Wednesday morning alone in her bed, she’s left wondering if she’d dreamt the whole thing. 

Wednesday the team has a light training in the afternoon and film session in the evening after dinner, to prepare for their home game against Virginia Tech the next day. Tobin finds Christen after Anson dismisses them, lacing their hands together as they walk out of the meeting room. “Sleep in my room tonight? I’ve missed you” she mutters, her voice soft and low as she brings Christen’s hand up to her mouth, brushing a kiss over her knuckles.

Christen looks over at Tobin as she considers the offer and Tobin is grinning that small hopeful grin that Christen can never say no to, but as she studies her face further, Christen notices that the smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She looks tired, Christen thinks, nodding her head to answer Tobin’s question. “Yeah, okay. I missed you too,” she says, offering small smile and squeezing Tobin’s hand as they walk towards their building.

Christen takes longer to get ready for bed than Tobin and by the time she slips into the midfielder’s room, she’s already curled up in bed waiting. She lifts the blankets up with a small grin that’s interrupted by a big yawn, making her nose crinkle and eyes close adorably. Christen clicks the light off and pads across the room to join Tobin in her bed. Tobin immediately scoots closer, practically climbing on top of Christen and clinging onto her tightly as she rests her head on her shoulder. She yawns again as Christen responds by wrapping her arms around Tobin, lightly stroking her back.

Tobin’s muscles slowly relax and her breathing evens out and Christen thinks she must be asleep as she continues trailing her fingers up and down her back over her soft t shirt. “Chris?” Tobin murmurs, her voice laced with sleep.

“Yes,” Christen whispers, her eyes shut, close to sleep.

“I’m glad I have you,” Tobin mumbles against Christen’s shoulder, so softly that Christen isn’t entirely sure that she heard her correctly as her fingers stall on Tobin’s warm back.

“Me too, Tobin,” she whispers back, falling asleep almost immediately after the words leave her mouth.

 

Christen is pleased when she wakes up Thursday morning, still tangled together with Tobin, who is sound asleep. She closes her eyes again but just as she’s drifting back to sleep, her alarm begins to sound. Tobin groans burrowing closer to Christen as she reaches for her phone to press snooze. She sleepily slips her fingers under the hem of Tobin’s t shirt, dancing patterns across her bare back, her eyes drifting shut again.

Tobin sighs contentedly, her own fingers toying with the bottom of Christen’s t shirt, gently inching it up her stomach. Her hand lightly traces across Christen’s stomach and up and down her side, only daring to go as high as her bottom few ribs. The contact boosts Christen’s confidence and she allows her own hands to drift higher on Tobin’s back, high enough to know that she isn’t wearing anything under her t shirt, the realization causing her hands to stall momentarily before continuing to stroke up and down the warm skin and taut muscles of Tobin’s back.

Tobin grows a bit more daring as well, her hand creeping higher at each pass across her stomach and up her side until her finger tips brush the bottom of Christen’s breast, also bare under her t shirt. She freezes for a second, and Christen hears a quick intake of breath followed by a small hum of appreciation as she continues the gentle path up and down Christen’s side, remaining bold in how high she takes her hand before dragging it down across Christen’s ribs.

Christen briefly wonders if Tobin can feel her heart rate picking up when Tobin turns her head and presses a kiss to the skin just above the collar of her t shirt. “Is this okay?” she murmurs against Christen’s neck, her fingers dancing higher under her t shirt. Christen just nods, her eyes still shut.

Tobin kisses a bit higher on her neck and brings her hand higher up until she’s gently cupping Christen’s breast. “How bout this?” she hums. 

Christen nods again, her back arching slightly as she tries to push herself into Tobin’s hand. “Do you want more?” Tobin whispers, punctuating each word with a soft kiss to Christen’s neck, making her way up to her jawline.

“Yes,” Christen whispers desperately, lightly dragging her nails up and down Tobin’s back.

“What do you want?” Tobin asks, her teeth gently grazing the underside of Christen’s jaw.

Christen whines slightly at the teasing and withdraws one hand from underneath Tobin’s t shirt. She wraps her fingers around Tobin’s wrist and pulls her hand higher until she’s palming Christen’s breast. Christen gasps at the contact and releases Tobin’s wrist, bringing her hand back to Tobin’s back.

Tobin gently kneads her breast, groaning against Christen’s neck and nipping gently at the skin as her fingers toy with Christen’s nipple. Christen bites her bottom lip, her eyes still squeezed shut, not even bothering to continue scratching Tobin’s back, her hands motionless as she focuses on the sensations of Tobin’s mouth on her neck and hand on her breast.

Tobin shifts, leaning up on one arm, her hand stilling. “Chris, look at me,” she whispers. Christen forces her eyes open and looks up at Tobin, who stares back at her wide eyed. “Do you want me to keep going?” she whispers, her eyes searching Christen’s face. 

Christen nods, arching her back and pushing her chest up against Tobin’s hand to punctuate her point. Tobin leans in to bring their lips together as she dances her hand across Christen’s chest to give her other breast some attention.

Christen doesn’t know if she’s ever been so turned on as Tobin gently tweaks her nipple, her teeth tugging slightly on her bottom lip at the same time. Christen’s hips jerk up involuntarily at the sensation and Tobin grins against Christen’s lips before continuing to kiss her, her fingers working their magic on Christen’s chest.

Christen whines into the kiss, her fingernails lightly digging into Tobin’s back, and she wonders if she could orgasm just from this. Tobin kisses her way across Christen’s jaw to her neck. Her hips jerk up again, seeking some sort of friction, as Tobin sucks the skin under her ear at the back of her jaw. Tobin smiles against Christen’s neck and shifts so that one of her legs falls between Christen’s, inching up so her thigh provides some much needed pressure against Christen’s core. She brings her mouth back to Christen’s smothering a moan with a searing kiss, her fingers still expertly toying with Christen’s nipples. Just as Christen starts to grind her hips against Tobin’s leg, the alarm on her phone sounds again, causing them both to freeze.

Tobin drops her head to Christen’s shoulder, panting, her hand still cupping Christen’s breast and Christen groans, pulling her hand from under Tobin’s shirt and feeling around for her phone. She snoozes the alarm again but glancing at the time she knows they need to get up and get ready for class. She drops the phone back onto the bed and brings her hand to the back of Tobin’s head, threading it through her soft hair. She sighs as Tobin slowly withdraws her hand, dragging it lightly down her stomach, pulling Christen’s shirt down along the way. “To be continued?” Tobin mumbles into Christen’s shoulder.

Christen nods, her fingers combing through Tobin’s hair absentmindedly. They stay like that for a few more minutes before Christen pulls her hand back and sighs. “We should get up,” she whispers reluctantly. Tobin nods, rolling over, leaving Christen to miss her warmth and contact immediately before they get up and start getting ready for the day.

  

The team is focused and determined during their pregame warm ups that evening, ready to put their loss behind them and come back strong against their difficult opponent, Virginia Tech. The locker room is buzzing as they listen to Cheney deliver a heated pep talk before taking the field. Tobin grabs Christen’s wrist just as the team is starting to filter out of the locker room. “Ready Pressy?” she asks, a wide grin on her face. “Are you nervous?” 

Christen shakes her head, feeling typical pregame jitters but nowhere near the intense panic that she sometimes feels before games.

“Good. Now lets go get you some goals,” Tobin grins, looking around to see if any of their teammates are paying attention to them before leaning forward to peck Christen on the lips.

The game is off to a quick start when in the 14th minute, Ali disrupts a play outside the UNC box and send the ball into the midfield, right to Cheney’s feet. Cheney traps the ball and chips it up the sideline to Tobin. Tobin sends a cross into the box and Christen controls it with her back to the goal at the top of the 18. She picks her head up, knowing the defender pushing against her back and kicking at her ankles will make it difficult to turn. She sees Syd cutting into the box and quickly gets the ball off with the outside of her foot, right into Syd’s path, who one touches it right into the lower right corner of the net. 

As they jog back to their half, hugging and high fiving, Anson yells from the sideline for them to keep their focus, not wanting them to get overly confident from their early lead. They prove that they aren’t going to lose their focus 8 minutes later on a set piece when Virginia Tech fouls Julie in the midfield. Cheney sends in a ball from 40 yards out and it pings around the box for a few seconds, bouncing off a defender’s head then Syd’s head then a defender’s head again, landing perfectly at Christen’s feet. She pivots around her defender and sends a low shot just inside the right post. She doesn’t strike the ball well and it doesn’t come off her foot with a ton of pace but she gets lucky when the keeper is tied up with her own defender in the still congested box and is unable to pounce on the ball before it rolls over the goal line. They hold the 2-0 lead going into halftime, only giving up one chance on a dangerous free kick just outside the box that Ashlyn is able to punch over the crossbar.

The second half starts off slower than the first and Virginia Tech gets a few good chances before Tobin scores the clinching goal in the 70th minute. Christen watches from the bench as she receives the ball at around the midfield and picks her head up as she slowly dribbles down the sideline, waiting for pressure and looking for the runs that Syd and Crystal are making. She must see a weakness in the Virginia Tech defense because instead of dribbling up the sideline, she cuts into the midfield, catching the defense off guard streaking up the middle of the field with the ball. She somehow is able to take the ball straight into the box and she strikes the ball hard with her left foot just inside the 18. It hits off of the bottom of the crossbar and into the net before the goalie even has a chance to react.

The whistle blows twenty minutes later, the score 3-0, securing UNC’s first conference win. The locker room is loud and rowdy and there are shouts of going out to celebrate. Christen is exhausted and the team is leaving Saturday for their Sunday game at Clemson so she really just wants to go back to the room and go to sleep. It seems like mostly the juniors and seniors are going out, as they typically don’t register for Friday morning classes. A few of the sophomore and freshman agree to the celebration as well, but Christen and Kelley decide to head back to the suite and relax for a little before going to bed. 

Christen has just pulled a clean shirt on when a pair of familiar tanned arms wrap around her from behind. “An assist and a goal for you and a goal for me. We’re such a power couple. France 2019 isn’t gunna know what hit ‘em,” she speaks lowly into Christen’s ear, hugging her tightly.

Christen doesn’t respond, her thoughts immediately racing about Tobin referring to them as a couple. Tobin squeezes Christen once before releasing her, waiting while Christen pulls clean socks out of her bag and sits down to pull them on. “So, we going out?” Tobin asks, finding a ball of tape on the floor and kicking it between her feet.

Christen watches for a second before answering. “No, Kelley and I are going back to the suite to watch a movie before going to sleep. You wanna come?”

Tobin stops the tape ball with one foot and looks up at Christen, her expression unreadable. “You don’t want to go out and celebrate?” she questions, eyeing Christen skeptically.

Christen shakes her head looking back at Tobin. “No, I’m tired and we have class in the morning and training tomorrow and we leave Saturday for South Carolina so I wanna make sure I get to bed early tonight,” she responds, tying her sneakers. 

Tobin nods, a thoughtful expression on her face as she slowly rolls the ball of tape between her feet again. “Bummer,” she finally says, looking down at her bare feet. “Well I’m gunna go with everyone who’s going out so see you in the morning?” she asks, kicking the tape ball across the locker room and pumping her fist when it rolls through Ali’s legs, causing her to look up and look around in confusion. Tobin laughs before looking back to Christen, waiting for her answer.

Christen cracks a smile at Tobin’s antics even though she can’t help but feel a little disappointed that Tobin is going out instead of heading back to the suite with her. She doesn’t want to come off as clingy or controlling so she simply nods her head. “Sure, see you in the morning. Have fun,” she smiles, standing up to pull her backpack on and grab her gym bag.

“Okay, sleep good,” Tobin responds stepping closer to pull Christen into a hug and pecking her on the lips before heading over to her own locker.

Christen hurries Kelley along and they head back to the suite together, Alyssa joining them as they walk out of the locker room. Kelley insists that they watch The Little Mermaid when they get back and Christen and Alyssa don’t put up much of a protest, content to snack on trail mix and laugh at Kelley belting out all the songs. 

Halfway through the movie Christen looks down at her phone and sees a text from Tobin.

 

**Tobs:** Miss you. Hope your movie is good. See you in the AM

 

Christen smiles as she texts Tobin back and locks her phone, tucking it into her sweatshirt pocket in case Tobin answers. After the movie ends she gets ready for bed and falls asleep quickly, not stirring again until her alarm blares on Friday morning.

Christen rolls out of bed and does some yoga and meditation before getting ready for the day. With 15 minutes before they need to leave for class she decides to go wake Tobin up. She quietly pushes the door open, her eyes adjusting to the darkened room.

The first thing she sees upon taking a step into the room is a head of blonde hair above the blankets on the left side of the bed, on _her_ side of the bed. She freezes and Tobin, who is laying on her back on the other side of the bed, lifts her head off her pillow a little bit. “Chris?” she mumbles out sleepily.

Christen’s chest and throat feel tight and she wills her feet to work, stumbling back a step before turning and walking out of the room. Her mind is racing and she feels panicky as she goes back to her room to grab her backpack, her natural instinct to flee kicking in.

She’s halfway to class, focusing on her breathing and swallowing back the lump in her throat when she hears her name being yelled in a familiar voice. “Chris! Wait up,”  Tobin calls out. She looks over her shoulder and sees her on her long board, pumping her leg to try to catch up with Christen.

Christen turns away and keeps walking but slows her pace, knowing that Tobin is going to catch up to her anyway. Sure enough, less than a minute later she feels a hand grabbing at her arm. “Hey, Chris, slow down,” Tobin pants out. 

Christen stops walking, still facing away from Tobin, breathing heavy even though she wasn’t the one racing across campus. “Why’d you leave without me?” Tobin asks, gently tugging Christen’s arm to try to get her to turn around.

Christen shrugs her shoulders, looking down, not willing to turn and face Tobin. Tobin gives up on trying to get her to turn around and instead comes around in front of her, bending at the knees to try to look Christen in the eye. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asks, concern evident in her voice.

Christen shakes her head and pulls in a deep breath. “I went to wake you up but there was another girl in your bed,” she says quietly, lifting her head a little to peak at Tobin.

Tobin looks back at her with furrowed brow. “ARod?” she asks.

“What?” Christen responds, lifting her head a little more.

Tobin shakes her head, confusion and concern still etched onto her features. “It was just ARod. She slept over last night,” Tobin explains.

Christen sighs, looking down again, feeling relieved and embarrassed. “Oh,” she squeaks out, feeling tears prick at her eyes for some reason.

Tobin crooks a finger under her chin and lifts her head so she can look into her eyes, her own eyes widening when she takes in Christen’s distress. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she asks, sounding slightly panicked.

Christen shakes her head. “I don’t know. I thought, I don’t know, I thought you took some other girl home last night and now I feel stupid for thinking that,” she says in a small voice, choking back tears.

Tobin drops her long board, pushing it with her foot until two wheels are in the grass next to the path they’re standing on so it won’t roll away. She then reaches out for Christen and pulls her into a hug, her hand sliding underneath Christen’s backpack so she can rub her back soothingly. “Don’t feel stupid Chris. Don’t cry, it’s okay,” she coos, continuing to rub her hand on Christen’s back.

Christen buries her face in Tobin’s shoulder, breathing in her comforting scent as she tries to get her tears under control. “I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she chokes out, laughing a little.

Tobin pulls back and picks up her long board, grabbing Christen’s hand with her other hand. “Come on,” she says, pulling Christen off the sidewalk and through a parking lot. She leads Christen down the path to the Bell Tower and up the steps to the door. She then surprises Christen by reaching into her backpack and digging around for a minute, pulling out a key and unlocking the door.

“Tobin, how did you get that key?” Christen asks, skeptically as she follows Tobin inside, leaving her backpack with Tobin’s backpack and long board and following her up a staircase.

Tobin throws a grin over her shoulder, climbing the stairs quickly. “I can’t tell you all my secrets Chris. Then how will I surprise you?”

Christen shakes her head, rushing to keep up with Tobin. “I don’t think you’ll ever stop surprising me,” she mutters as they begin to ascend a spiral staircase. “Are we even allowed to be in here?” she calls out a little louder.

Tobin stops abruptly and spins around, a couple steps above Christen and one hand on either railing of the narrow spiral staircase. “Babe. I’m Tobin Heath. I do what I want,” she says slowly as if it should be obvious, before grinning cheekily and turning back around to continue up the stairs.

Finally, they reach the top of the stairs, opening up into a small room with windows on every brick wall. Christen walks along the perimeter of the room slowly, her finger trailing along the bricks as she reads the names scribbled in Sharpie all over the bricks and looks out each window at the different views of the campus. She pauses at the last window, able to see Greenlaw where their English class started, she glances at her watch, 4 minutes ago. “Tobin, we’re missing class,” she says, turning around to where Tobin leans on the far wall, watching her.

Tobin pushes off the wall and walks closer. “It’ll go on without us,” she shrugs, slowly walking towards Christen. She brushes past Christen to look out the window before turning and leaning on the windowsill. She grabs Christen’s hand and pulls her closer so she is standing between Tobin’s legs. “Do you feel a little better?” she asks, reaching up to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear.

Christen nods, bringing her hands up and lacing them behind Tobin’s neck, her fingers brushing through the baby hairs there. 

“Wanna talk about it now?” Tobin questions, studying Christen’s face.

Christen takes a deep breath, not really wanting to talk about it but knowing that communication is something they need to work on. “I just thought that you had brought someone else home. I guess I was hurt and jealous,” she whispers, looking over Tobin’s shoulder and out the window to avoid meeting her gaze.

“Why would I bring anyone else home?” Tobin asks, and Christen can hear confusion in her tone.

“I don’t know. You used to a lot in preseason,” Christen trails off, watching out the window as student pedals past on a bike.

“Christen,” Tobin starts, in a way that snaps Christen’s attention from the window to Tobin’s face, reading the sincerity in her eyes. “That was before I even knew you liked girls. I’m yours now. I don’t want anyone else okay? I promise,” she says seriously, her eyes searching Christen’s face.

Christen nods, her throat feeling tight again. “You’re mine?” she whispers, voice full of wonder.

Tobin’s face melts into a small smile. “Yeah, if you want me,” she answers, shrugging slightly.

“I want you,” Christen whispers back, her heart thudding in her chest.

Tobin nods, her face serious again. “Then I’m yours,” she says simply, reaching up to cup Christen’s cheek and leaning forward to brush their lips together softly. The kiss deepens but remains slow and gentle as the both try to pour their emotions into it. After a few moments they’re startled apart by the bells chiming above them.

Tobin starts laughing and her laugh, as always, causes Christen to start laughing too, not even sure what’s so funny. “What?” Christen gasps out, pulling in shaky breaths as she laughs harder at Tobin’s infectious chuckling.

Tobin shakes her head, regaining control. “It’s just that we seriously need to start picking places to kiss without all these absurd interruptions. People yelling, rain, alarms, and now fucking bells chiming,” she responds, laughing again.

Christen starts laughing again too, pulling Tobin closer and hugging her tightly, a huge smile on her face.

After a few minutes she leans back and glances at her watch. “Well I guess it would be pointless to go to English now. Want to go grab breakfast instead?” she asks, resigned to the fact that Tobin has someone gotten her to skip a second class only a month into the semester.

Tobin grins and nods, leaning forward to peck Christen’s lips once more before they part. She leads the way back to the spiral staircase but pauses on the first landing, studying the railing with a thoughtful expression and leaning over to glance down the stairs.

Christen knows exactly what she’s thinking and shakes her head, her eyes wide. “Tobin, no-” she starts, but it’s no use. Tobin just winks at her and hoists herself up onto the railing, sliding down on her butt, laughing the whole way.

Christen watches in horror as Tobin nearly topples over a few times, always catching herself with her hands at the last second. She hops off the railing at the next landing and leans over to look up at Christen. “Come on slow poke,” she teases, grinning. 

Christen can’t help but smile back, descending the stairs safely to where Tobin is still waiting on the landing. “Please don’t do that again,” she requests joining Tobin on the small landing.

“Okay, but I’ll still beat you down there,” Tobin shrugs, turning and racing down the stairs, a hand hovering over each railing, ready to grab on if she stumbles.

Christen watches her go, following behind slowly and carefully, shaking her head as she hears Tobin’s laughter drift up from where she’s probably already reached the bottom. _I can’t believe she’s mine_ , Christen thinks, feeling a huge smile spread across her face at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True story- my senior quote in high school was "I do what I want and I don't give a f***" but everybody's quotes were so inappropriate that my high school decided not to put them in the yearbook at all lol  
> Anyway, I finished this chapter faster than expected because of this blizzard (that ended up just being freezing rain where I live) and didn't wanna make you guys wait so here it is! Lemme know what you think


	21. I can think of a few things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a little bit of writer's block so I switched things up a little for this chapter. And I didn't really feel like editing today but didn't wanna make you guys wait another day so just ignore any mistakes lol

The next few weeks fly by in a blur and before Christen knows it, it’s mid October. The team has two Sunday away games in a row, one against Clemson before they travel to Virginia the following week, and both end in 1-1 ties, even after double over time. The games are followed by two home games and the Tar Heels bounce back, winning both games easily. They travel up to Notre Dame the second week of October, eeking out a narrow 1-0 victory. After the Notre Dame game they have almost a week until their next game, another away game at Pittsburgh.

The Sunday after the Notre Dame game, they fly back to UNC early in the morning, and that evening Christen is lounging in Tobin’s bed with her. They haven’t really defined their relationship yet but they’ve been spending a lot more time together and Tobin has been disappearing less, sleeping in her own bed, with Christen, more often than not. Christen is working on a Spanish assignment while Tobin facetimes Allie and Alex. They’re talking about Halloween costumes even though it’s still two weeks away, but Christen tunes out their chatter, focusing on her work.

“Chris, what do you think?” Tobin nudges her with her elbow, drawing her attention away from her book.

“What?” she asks, confused as Tobin turns her laptop so they’re both on screen.

“About Halloween!” Allie yells.

“The team is going to that party after our game on the Thursday before Halloween and Alex and Allie were trying to help me come up with costume ideas. Do you wanna like do a costume together?” Tobin asks, looking at Christen expectantly.

“Oh, yeah sure, like what?” Christen responds, closing her Spanish book and scooting closer to Tobin.

“Well baby horse thinks we should do the guy and girl from Grease,” Tobin starts before she is cut off by Alex.

“It’s Danny Zuko and Bad Sandy, Toby! I wanted to do it with Serv but we’re doing something else so you guys should do it!” she exclaims.

“No, that one would work for you and Serv but I don’t think so for Harry and Christen. I’m telling you, either cop and a criminal or a fire fighter and Dalmatian would be cuter,” Allie argues.

“I don’t know,” Christen responds, looking from the computer to Tobin. “We still have some time to think about it, right?”

“I guess but don’t wait too long. We planned our costumes like a month in advance last year,” Alex grins into the camera.

“What were you guys last year?” Christen asks, looking at Tobin curiously.

“Harry and Alex were Jay-z and Beyoncé for our team party and the three of us were the three blind mice for the frat party we went to,” Allie explains before her and Alex say their goodbyes, needing to head to training. 

A few minutes after they hang up, Christen is back to finishing up her Spanish assignment when Tobin’s phone rings. Tobin presses a kiss into her temple, grabbing her phone and getting off the bed. “Be right back, finish that so we can do something fun,” she says, sliding her thumb across the screen as she walks out of the room.

She returns a few minutes later, grinning as she walks towards the bed. Christen finishes the last sentence of her assignment and closes her books, putting them on the bed next to her before turning to Tobin. “Done. Who was on the phone?” she asks, smiling back at Tobin. Tobin takes Christen’s books and places them on her desk before turning around.

“It was staff from US Soccer. We have two friendlies against Switzerland next week and I leave for camp the day after tomorrow. I’m gunna miss the Pittsburgh and Syracuse games but I’ll be back for the Florida State game,” she responds, leaning back against her desk.

Christen sits up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “Babe that’s awesome, congrats! I’m so proud of you!”

Tobin opens her mouth to reply but is cut off by her phone ringing again. She shrugs and smiles apologetically at Christen before answering. “Yo…yeah me too…uh yeah probably. Wanna come over?...Alright see you then, bye.”

“Sorry, that was Cheney. She got called into camp too so she’s gunna come over at 8 to help me pack,” Tobin explains, putting her phone down on her desk.

Christen glances at her own phone to check the time before looking back up at Tobin. “What do you wanna do until then?” she asks, smiling slightly and raising an eyebrow at Tobin.

Tobin grins back at her and pushes off her desk. “I can think of a few things,” she implies, walking over to her door and pushing it shut.

Christen is still sitting on the edge of the bed and she watches over her shoulder as Tobin slowly walks around the bed from the door. She comes to a stop directly in front of Christen, her thighs just barely touching Christen’s knees. “Oh yeah? Like what?” she asks, smirking up at Tobin. 

Tobin bends a little at the waist and puts her palms flat against Christen’s thighs so she’s eye level with her. “Well, we could do this,” she trails off, leaning forward to kiss Christen. She kisses her softly, her lips just brushing over Christen’s before she pulls back and Christen leans forward, trying to chase her lips. Tobin laughs and lifts her hands off Christen’s legs. “Or we could do something else,” she teases, climbing into her bed and sitting up, leaning against the wall, her legs stretched out behind Christen. 

Christen rolls her eyes and turns to Tobin. “I think I like your first idea better,” she muses, scooting up the bed and swinging a leg over Tobin so she’s got her knees on either side of Tobin’s hips and her hands resting on Tobin’s shoulders. 

“Yeah, me too,” Tobin says quietly, her hands landing on Christen’s hips. Christen leans in slowly, one hand sliding from Tobin’s shoulder up her neck to come to rest lightly on her jaw as their lips meet. They start off slowly but as the kiss deepens, Tobin’s hands slide from Christen’s hips up her sides, pushing her t shirt up as she goes. Christen breaks the kiss and sits back a little, pulling her t shirt off and dropping it on the bed next to them before tugging on the hem of Tobin’s t shirt, urging her to do the same.

Tobin is frozen for a second, her eyes raking over Christen appreciatively before she leans forward, allowing Christen to pull her shirt off. Christen throws the shirt behind her, not bothering to see where it lands before taking in Tobin’s newly skin exposed with her eyes and hands, her nails lightly scratching over Tobin’s abdominal muscles. Tobin moans slightly at the sensation, her hands coming up to grip Christen’s hips again.

Christen leans back in to reconnect their lips and the kiss is heated as their hands roam over each other’s body. Tobin’s hands come around Christen’s back, toying with the clasp of her bra and Christen kisses down Tobin’s jaw to her ear. “Take it off,” she whispers, nipping Tobin’s earlobe before sucking lightly on the sweet spot under Tobin’s ear where her jawbone ends.

“Fuck,” Tobin breathes out, her hands fumbling to unclasp Christen’s bra and pull the straps down her arms. Christen leans up to pull her hands out, letting her bra fall to the floor. “You’re so hot babe,” Tobin groans quietly, her hands on Christens waist and her head back against the wall, her eyes trailing over Christen’s chest. 

“So are you,” Christen whispers breathlessly, tugging on Tobin’s sports bra until she leans up and lifts her arms, allowing Christen to pull it over her head, tossing it to the side. 

Christen pauses for a second, letting her eyes take Tobin in, before she brings her hands up and gently palms Tobin’s breasts. Tobin lets out a whine and drags her hands up Christen’s sides. Christen leans in to reconnect their lips, moaning into Tobin’s mouth when her hands reach their destination. The kiss is long and rough and messy, both distracted by what the other’s hands are doing.

They’ve done this a few times in the past couple of weeks, growing more comfortable and confident with each other each time. After a particularly heated make out in Tobin’s Jeep one night, Christen had admitted that she wasn’t ready to have sex and Tobin had been really sweet about it, reassuring her that there was no rush and that they could take things as slow as she wanted. Christen was glad but she also knew that they tended to get a little carried away at times. It was only a couple days after that conversation, that Tobin had to gently grab Christen’s wrist as her hand trailed over Tobin’s abs and to the waistband of her sweatpants. Christen was glad that Tobin seemed to have better self control than her because she knew she wasn’t ready even if she sometimes forgot that when Tobin was doing magical things with her tongue and mouth.

This time is no different, Christen’s hands wander down Tobin’s stomach and two of her fingers dip under Tobin’s waistband before Tobin gently grabs her wrists and drags her hands back up over her abs to her breasts. Tobin kisses along Christen’s jaw before pulling her mouth back, her hands sliding down and around, grabbing Christen’s ass. “We should slow down. Our roommates are home and Cheney will be here soon,” Tobin rasps out, her eyes trailing over Christen’s exposed chest and stomach as she leans back against the wall.

Christen nods trying to catch her breath and she lifts her hands off Tobin, who frowns at the loss of contact. Just when Christen is about to bring her hands back to Tobin’s chest, not wanting to see her frown, they hear knocking and the door to the suite opening. Christen scrambles off of Tobin and locks her bedroom door just a few seconds before there’s a knock on it. “Tobin?” Cheney calls through the door as Christen finds her bra and quickly puts it back on.

“Uh…yeah, hang on a sec,” Tobin calls out, feeling around the bed for her own bra. Christen opens Tobin’s dresser drawer and grabs herself a long sleeve shirt to pull on while Tobin pulls on the first shirt she finds, which happens to be Christen’s discarded t shirt, the name of her high school emblazoned across the front. They both frantically smooth down their hair and straighten out their clothes before Tobin gets up and walks towards the door. Christen sits in Tobin’s desk chair and opens her Spanish book trying to look busy while Tobin opens the door to let Cheney in.

“Hey, sorry, I was making out with Christen,” Tobin says as she pulls the door open causing Christen’s eyes to widen and Cheney to start laughing.

“Tobin!” Christen gasps, staring at her in disbelief.

“Christen!” Tobin mocks, laughing.

Christen just shakes her head, unable to keep a smile off her face hearing Tobin’s laugh. She closes her books, giving up her attempt to look busy and instead gets up to help Tobin pack.

After Cheney leaves, Tobin and Christen get ready for bed. They lay in Tobin’s bed together, talking about the national team camp and the games Tobin is going to miss before saying goodnight. It’s only quiet for a few minutes when Tobin rolls onto her side to face Christen. “Hey babe?” she asks quietly.

“Yes?” Christen responds, opening her eyes to look at Tobin.

“Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow after practice? Somewhere nice?” she questions, her eyes searching Christen’s face.

“Yeah of course,” Christen smiles, leaning forward to peck Tobin on the lips.

 

The next day the team has a small celebration to welcome ARod back to practicing with the team, complete with cupcakes that Whitney had brought. After training, Christen leaves Tobin goofing off on the field with ARod and goes back to the suite to shower and get ready, not entirely sure how nice of a restaurant Tobin is taking her to. Christen throws on a pair of shorts and a t shirt while she does her hair. Her roommates return just as she’s finishing up and Tobin walks past the bathroom, stopping to smile at her in the mirror.

“Tobs how fancy is this place? Like what should I wear?” she asks, adding soft curls to her freshly straightened hair.

“It’s nothing crazy. I’m wearing jeans so wear whatever you want,” Tobin shrugs, watching her in the mirror before heading to her room to get changed.

Julie helps Christen pick out an outfit, and they eventually settle on jeans, a chunky gray sweater, and black boots. Christen puts on her make up before walking out into the living room to see if Tobin is ready.

Tobin is playing FIFA with Kelley but pauses the game and gets up when Christen walks in. She’s wearing tight black jeans and a plain white t shirt, her hair down in waves and some light make up on, pulling off the effortlessly cool look like no one else can. “Ready?” she asks, grinning at Christen.

Christen nods and watches Tobin pull on a black leather jacket and grab her keys and wallet off the coffee table.

Tobin holds Christen’s hand the entire way out to her Jeep, pulling the passenger side door open for her when they get there. She rejoins their hands when she gets in, humming along quietly to the radio and rubbing her thumb over Christen’s knuckles while she drives.

She leads Christen into a small Italian restaurant with rustic décor and candles on all of the tables. They’re seated in a small booth right near a brick fireplace and a basket of breadsticks is brought out to them before they even open their menus.

They talk and laugh through dinner, sharing bites of each other’s food and splitting an order of tiramisu for dessert.

When they get back to the suite, they find Kelley, Moe, Emily, and Alyssa in the living room about to watch a movie. They decide to join them, splitting up to go change into sweats before coming back into the living room. They’re stuck with sitting on the floor, being the last to arrive and Tobin grins widely, pulling Christen down onto the beanbag chair with her. “Good think you lemme buy this,” she laughs, getting comfortable and pulling a blanket from her bed over them.

Christen rolls her eyes, smiling. “Yeah, good thing,” she responds, cuddling into Tobin’s side to watch the movie.

Tobin decides to sleep at Cheney and ARod’s since she and Cheney need to leave early in the morning to go to the airport. Cheney comes to pick Tobin up when the movie ends and Christen walks her down, carrying her backpack for her. “I’ll text you when we land okay?” Tobin mutters, hugging Christen tightly after her things are loaded into the trunk.

Christen nods, a little embarrassed that she’s getting choked up about Tobin leaving for a week. “Have fun and be careful. See you in a week,” she says softly, finally breaking the hug.

Tobin nods, kissing her hard before pulling the passenger door open. “See you in a week,” she echoes, climbing into the car. Christen watches them drive away then turns to walk back up to the suite, holding back tears the whole way.

 

Tobin and Cheney get to Utah in the early afternoon, getting their luggage and climbing into a van with a few teammates that arrived around the same time. They are assigned to room together and they dump their bags in the room before heading down to grab coffee in the lobby. The team has a light training session that evening to adjust to the altitude and shake off some jet lag and a team meeting that seems to drag on.

Cheney heads up to the room when the meeting finally ends but Tobin wanders outside, slipping her flip flops off, even though it’s cold out, and walking down the sidewalk behind the hotel until she finds a bench to sit down on. She pulls out her phone to call Christen, since they hadn’t talked all day besides a handful of texts and some pictures that Tobin had sent her of the view of the mountains from the hotel. Christen answers on the fourth ring but with the time difference, it’s nearly midnight in North Carolina and Tobin can tell by Christen’s voice that she’s half asleep, so the conversation is brief. Tobin can’t help but feel disappointed as she hangs up and walks back towards the hotel.

She gets ready for bed when she gets back to the room, sighing as she plugs her phone in and climbs under the covers. 

“Tobin, what’s the matter? You’ve been quiet all night,” Cheney asks in a concerned voice, while fiddling with the thermostat.

Tobin shakes her head, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel as stoked about this camp for some reason. I kinda miss UNC I think,” she responds thoughtfully.

Lauren glances at her through narrowed eyes and pulls the blankets back on her own bed. “Are you homesick?” she questions.

“Maybe,” Tobin shrugs, watching Lauren set an alarm on her phone. 

Lauren looks over at her with an amused look on her face before she clicks the light off and climbs into her bed. “Do you remember the last time you were homesick Tobs?” she asks softly in the darkness.

 

Tobin thinks back to her very first camp with the U-15 team. It was the summer before 7th grade when she got the call up for the CONCACAF U-15 girl’s championship to be played at Disney. She was already in Florida at the time, spending a few weeks with her mom before she would have to fly back to New Jersey.

 

She can’t help but feel like she was called in to camp by mistake as her mom walks her in to the hotel, carrying her duffle bag for her and fretting about whether or not she had packed enough sunscreen for the two weeks that Tobin would be there. There are a few girls lounging in one corner of the lobby, laughing and joking around, and Tobin thinks that they all look so much more mature and so much older as she stands there, a tiny 12 year old with messy hair and skinned knees and big dreams.

She tries to force herself to listen as her mom talks to some of the US Soccer staff, signing some papers and going over a lot of information, but she finds her attention wandering over to the group of girls and before she knows it her mom is hugging her tight and she’s being led to an elevator by a man in a blue US Soccer polo. “Okay Tobin, I’m Frank and I’m one of the staff you’ll be seeing a lot of these next two weeks. This is your room key. You’ll be in room 336 with,” he pauses, shuffling papers in a blue folder that he’s holding. “Lauren Cheney. Dinner tonight starts at 5:30 but you can come down whenever you’re ready, as long as you’re there by 6pm. You guys will have meeting tonight after dinner and you’ll go over the schedule for the next two weeks then. Practices start tomorrow and you’ll get some information about gear and what to expect for training and down time at the meeting tonight. There’s a notebook and pen in the drawstring backpack that will be on your bed when we get to the room so you might want to bring that down with you tonight. If you have any questions, Jenna is one of the staff members on your floor who can help you with whatever you need and she’s in room 343. You have a couple hours until dinner so you can unpack and get settled and do what you want but don’t leave the hotel and try to stay out of trouble,” he smiles warmly at Tobin who nods silently, feeling a little overwhelmed as she tries to commit all the information he just shared to memory.

Frank walks Tobin to her room, making sure the key card works before he hands her duffle bag to her and waves, saying he’ll see her at dinner, leaving Tobin to enter the room by herself. She walks in cautiously, not sure if her roommate will be there or not. She’s not sure if she’s relieved or disappointed to find the room empty. She can tell that her roommate has been there already, noting the open suitcase on the floor and backpack tossed casually on the bed closest to the window. Tobin puts her own things down on the other bed, flopping down next to her duffle bag.

She never is one to get nervous about things, especially soccer related things, but Tobin can’t help but feel anxious as she looks through the drawstring backpack that was waiting for her on the bed, just like Frank had told her. She’s been to summer camp before, but she’d always known at least one other person. Now, she’s not sure she’s ever felt so alone and she’s seriously considering calling her mom on her brand new cell phone and asking her to come get her. She quickly pushes that idea out of her mind, staring at the US Soccer crest emblazoned on the drawstring backpack and reminding herself that this is what she’s been dreaming about for years and she needs to stick it out no matter how nervous and homesick she is.

After a few minutes of laying on the bed unsuccessfully trying to relax, she decides to unpack, hoping to make the time she has until dinner go by faster. She unzips the top of her brand new Nike duffle bag and is confused to find a folded piece of paper on top of her clothes. She unfolds it, immediately recognizing her mom’s handwriting and reads a letter about how proud her mom is and how she just knows that Tobin is going to do great. By the end of the letter, Tobin is crying hard, and it’s at this exact moment that her new roommate and teammate decides to return to the room. 

Tobin tries to regain some control, turning away from the door and pulling the hem of her t shirt up to wipe at her face as she hears the door open. After a few seconds she hears a kind sounding voice from behind her. “Hi! Are you Tobin?” the voice asks and Tobin can do nothing more but nod, still facing the windows and pulling in shallow shaky breaths.

“Oh awesome! I’m Lauren but most people just call me Cheney. When did you get here? Did you meet any of the other girls yet?” the voice babbles on and Tobin watches her new teammate walk past her bed towards her own bed, dropping a soccer ball to the floor before squatting down to rummage in her suitcase. She has curly brown hair and she’s taller than Tobin by at least a foot, making Tobin feel even more out of place as she tries to prevent another round of sobs from taking hold of her.

Lauren pulls a sweatshirt out of her suitcase, pulling it on before she turns around to face Tobin, who hasn’t answered any of her questions. She’s pretty, Tobin thinks, a nice face and piercing blue eyes, and Tobin quickly looks down, trying to hide her tearstained face, but it’s no use.

“Hey, are you okay?” the girl asks, her voice much softer, and Tobin can see her feet shuffle closer to Tobin. “Are you crying?”

Tobin shakes her head even though it’s completely obvious that she is indeed crying, as a few more tears make their way down her cheeks. Lauren sits down next to Tobin on the bed and rubs her back lightly. “What’s wrong?”

Tobin briefly tries to think of an excuse she can offer up but she comes up empty and ends up just shrugging her shoulders slightly as she quickly glances sideways at the girl sitting next to her. Lauren is looking back at her a concerned expression on her face and something about it is reassuring enough that Tobin finds herself letting even more tears spill over. “I just am scared and miss my mom I think,” Tobin says, her voice cracking and barely above a whisper.

Lauren continues rubbing her hand over Tobin’s back as she responds. “Oh, that’s okay Tobin. I think everyone gets a little homesick their first camp, but don’t worry all the girls are great and the staff and coaches super nice and we’re gunna have so much fun. Training starts tomorrow and then you’ll be too busy and tired to even worry about being homesick. What are you scared of?”

Tobin shrugs, sniffling and wiping at her face. “That no one will like me or I won’t play good or something,” she mutters.

Lauren moves her hand off her back, putting her arm around Tobin’s shoulders. “Hey, if you were invited to play with the national team I don’t think you have to worry about playing well. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t good. And don’t worry about whether or not the girls will like you. We’re a team and we all get along and everyone’s really nice so they’ll like you. Plus, as your first national team friend I promise to beat them up if they aren’t nice to you okay?” she asks, squeezing Tobin’s shoulders gently.

“Okay,” Tobin answers in a small voice, nodding her head and letting a small smile make it’s way onto her face. Lauren squeezes her shoulder once more before getting up and walking away.

“Tobin, we have like a half hour til dinner and I think my friend Amy is gunna come up as soon as she gets here so we can walk down together, is that okay? She should be here in like 15 minutes I think. Don’t worry she’s really nice and funny,” Lauren babbles loudly and Tobin can hear water running in the bathroom. She comes out a few seconds later and holds out some tissues to Tobin, a wet washcloth and towel in her other hand. Tobin nods and thanks her, blowing her nose before taking the wet washcloth and wiping her face, her tears finally stopping. Lauren hands her the dry towel as well, before turning and grabbing an unopened bottle of water off the dresser. “Here, trade,” she says, offering the bottle of water to Tobin and holding her hand out for the towel and washcloth.

“Thanks,” Tobin mumbles, grabbing the bottle of water and opening it as Lauren brings the towel and washcloth back into the bathroom. She comes back out and sits cross legged on her bed, facing Tobin.

“So how old are you? And where are you from? Oh and what position do you play?” Lauren asks, smiling kindly.

“Um, 12 and I’m from New Jersey and I kinda just play everything except for goalie. I guess I like midfield or forward but sometimes I play defense too,” Tobin answers, her voice finally returning to normal.

“Wow, 12? You must be really good. I’m 14 but almost 15 and I’m from Indianapolis and I’m a middie. Hmm what do you like to do besides soccer?”

They spend the next 15 minutes getting to know each other better, mostly just Lauren peppering Tobin with questions that Tobin thinks might be a distraction technique to keep her from crying again. At around 5:20 there’s a loud banging on the door and Lauren squeals. “Ooh that must be ARod!” she yelps, getting up and running to the door and flinging it open. A blonde, who’s closer to Tobin’s height comes barreling in, hugging Lauren as they talk at each other a mile a minute.

Lauren introduces Amy to Tobin, explaining the nickname ARod. They are careful to include Tobin in their conversation as they catch up and they occasionally throw questions in her direction. By the time they walk down to dinner together 15 minutes later, Tobin has gotten enough confidence to be making jokes of her own and she forgets her homesickness, already feeling more comfortable with her two teammates.

Her nerves return as they get closer to the meeting room, anxious about meeting the team and making a good first impression. She sticks close to Lauren and Amy as they get to the meeting room, following them like a puppy. If it annoys them, they don’t let it show, making sure to introduce Tobin to teammates and explain little facts about each as they make their way to the buffet.

Tobin doesn’t have much of an appetite, still feeling pangs of homesickness and nerves about what to expect from training the next day. She mostly pushes her food around her plate, sipping her water and eating a couple bites of chicken.

Later that night she pulls out her new cell phone and calls one of the only numbers programmed into it, talking to her mom for 20 minutes before she softly encourages her to get off the phone and get some rest. Tobin is choked up almost immediately after hanging up and mumbles something to Lauren about taking a shower, not wanting to cry in front of her teammate again. After she’s showered and completely exhausted from crying she comes out of the bathroom to find Amy sitting on Lauren’s bed with her, playing Uno.

“Tobin, I thought you might be hungry so I stole some Oreo’s from the snack chest for you. I’ll show you where they keep the snacks tomorrow,” Amy says, gesturing to an entire box of Oreo’s on the nightstand. “Want to play with us?”

Tobin climbs onto the bed to join the Uno game, sharing Oreo’s and laughs with her teammates until she forgets to feel homesick.

The next week passes in a similar fashion. Lauren and Amy make sure that Tobin is included in everything they do and Tobin finds herself having way more fun than she expected and forming friendships with the other girls. Training is tough and one of the oldest girls has stuck her the nickname ‘munchkin’ that she isn’t particularly fond of, but she feels that she’s holding her own. She still gets pretty homesick at night or in the mornings but Lauren is always there to distract her or comfort her and Tobin is thankful that she was assigned to room with her this camp.

In the second week of camp they have their first game, a 17-0 blow out against Trinidad and Tobego. Tobin doesn’t expect to play so she’s surprised when the coach subs her in during the 70th minute. She notches a goal and an assist and she can hear her mom and siblings going crazy in the stands. Even her dad has flown down to see her play and Tobin couldn’t feel prouder as she wears the white jersey with the US Soccer crest on her chest.

The team wins their next four games as well and Tobin plays in 3 of them, even starting the game against Bermuda. She gets herself another goal and 4 more assists by the time the tournament is done and the US wins convincingly. 

By the end of camp, Tobin doesn’t want to leave. She only has two more days before she flies back to New Jersey for camp with her club team for two weeks before school starts. Her siblings fly back with her dad right after her last game and Tobin and her mom pack up her stuff before going out to dinner with Lauren and Amy and their parents. The girls exchange phone numbers and screen names and addresses, promising to keep in touch after spending almost every hour of the day together for two full weeks.

They do a good job of keeping in touch, even with the time zone differences. They have three way phone calls a few times a week and talk on Aim almost every day. Lauren even sends Tobin a post card from Indianapolis with nothing written on it but a smiley face and a poorly drawn soccer ball.

They spend another week together in January when the U 15 and U 16 girl’s national teams have a camp in California and Tobin doesn’t feel homesick at all this time, instead just excited to be back with her friends. Two months later when Tobin’s dad picks her up from soccer practice early with a solemn expression on his face and the news about her mom’s accident, Lauren is the first person Tobin calls and she stays on the phone while Tobin cries for a long time. A few months after that, Lauren and her mom pick Tobin up at the Indianapolis International Airport and Tobin feels like she can finally breathe as she’s crushed by hugs from both of them.

When Tobin returns to New Jersey after her summer in Indianapolis, waves of homesickness hit her for the second time in her life and she finds herself longing for a home that isn’t even hers. She does the only thing that she can think to do and she calls Lauren, even though they had only parted ways a few hours before. Lauren stays on the phone with her, asking her silly ‘would you rather’ questions until Tobin is laughing instead of crying. The feelings of homesickness, and the feeling of having a home in general, ware off in a few weeks and never really return after that.

 

Tobin smiles, thinking back over their many years of friendship. “Yeah, that was a really long time ago. I haven’t been homesick since then.”

“So why do you think you’re homesick now?” Cheney questions.

Tobin shrugs even though Cheney can’t see her in the dark hotel room. “I don’t know. I love UNC but I don’t think I’ve really been there long enough for it to feel like home so I’m not sure why I feel like this,” she answers truthfully. 

“What about Christen?” Cheney asks softly.

“What about her?” Tobin responds, her brow furrowed. 

“Maybe you aren’t homesick for UNC. Maybe you just miss Christen,” Cheney explains and Tobin can tell by her voice that she’s on the verge of sleep. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Tobin whispers back. Cheney doesn’t respond and Tobin assumes she fell asleep so she rolls over and shuts her eyes to sleep as well. But the hotel bed seems too big and too empty and Cheney’s words are replaying in her mind and Tobin can’t help but wonder if it’s even possible to feel homesick for another person instead of a place before she finally drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think? Also, what Halloween costume option do you like best? Or do you have a better idea of your own?


	22. Not now, not here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to hold you over til I can find more time to write!

The next morning Tobin wakes up to Cheney’s blaring alarm and feels oddly stiff and sluggish. National team camps usually have her buzzing with excitement but she feels like she’s dragging as she throws on a hoodie and flip flops to go downstairs for breakfast. She thinks back to the conversation from the night before and wonders if this whole homesickness thing is still affecting her. She wonders if this is just a thing people who have somewhere that they consider home learn to deal with. It’s a little frustrating she thinks, and kind of pointless, to miss something, somewhere, someone like this. And really, she can’t afford to have her mind clouded with thoughts of Christen or UNC or anything else. She’s there for soccer and that’s where she needs to keep her focus. She glances back at her phone on the night table as she follows Cheney to the door and wonders if she should go grab it before leaving the room. She hesitates for a second but then reminds herself, ‘no more distractions,’ as she steps out into the hall and pulls the door shut behind her.

 

The next couple of days are jam packed for Tobin, with hanging out with teammates and trainings and meetings and media, and Christen misses her way more than she had expected. She doesn’t voice how much she misses her beyond casual ‘we missed you at practice earlier’ or ‘I wished you were in class today, it was so boring’. Tobin doesn’t call her again after the first night and her texts are sporadic, only responding once or twice a day, with only a few words each time. Christen assumes that she’s just busy with the team and tries not to take it too personally, keeping busy with schoolwork and soccer and spending time with her teammates.

 

Christen yawns as she climbs onto the bus destined for the airport early Thursday morning, sleepily making her way down the aisle to her usual row. It’s not until she drops into her seat and looks at the empty aisle seat next to her that she remembers that her bus buddy is across the country, probably sound asleep in her hotel bed. She frowns at the empty seat and pulls out her phone to text Tobin. Her frown deepens as she realizes that her previous four texts to Tobin have gone unanswered and the last text she received was from the morning before, just a simple ‘lol’ to a story Christen had texted her Tuesday evening about something that happened at practice. She considers just locking her phone and putting it away but she decides against it and texts Tobin anyway.

 

 **Christen** : I know you’re probably still sleeping but I just wanted to make sure I texted you wishing you good luck today. Can’t wait to watch you kick ass on TV even though I wish you were kicking ass on the same field as me. We just got on the bus to the airport. Who’s gunna bug me this whole trip?

 

She presses send and then hesitates before quickly typing out another text.

 

 **Christen** : I miss you

 

She locks her phone and drops it into her lap, resting her head against the window and closing her eyes. She opens them a few minutes later when she feels someone sit down next to her, turning her head to see ARod in Tobin’s usual seat. “Looks like we’re both missing our bus buddies, so we can just stick together this trip instead? I may have stolen a peak at our room assignments and we’re rooming together tonight,” she says, smiling over at Christen before pulling her tangled headphones out of her backpack.

Christen nods and watches ARod fiddle with the cord for a minute. “Hey, have you heard from Cheney?” she asks in what she hopes is a casual voice, trying to seem nonchalant by asking about Cheney when what she really just wants to ask is how Tobin is doing and what Tobin is doing and why Tobin hasn’t been talking to her.

“Yeah, her and Tobin face timed me last night to solve a ridiculous dispute they were having about some game they were playing and we talked for a little. Tobs seems pretty excited about the game, right? I bet she starts,” ARod says, grinning victoriously when she finally pulls out the last knot in her headphones.

Christen just nods, pulling her own neatly coiled headphones out of her bag and leaning her head back against the window, closing her eyes. She thinks back, trying to come up with what could have gone wrong to make Tobin not want to talk to her. She’s so deep in thought that it seems like only minutes have gone by when ARod is jostling her shoulder to let her know they’ve arrived at the airport.

 

The UNC game kicks off at 7pm and the USA game kicks off at 9pm, not leaving much time in between, which has Christen anxious about whether or not they’ll make it back to the hotel in time for kickoff. She makes sure she has the app downloaded to stream the game on her phone just in case and tries to focus her energy on the UNC game.

It only takes a few minutes for UNC to settle in to the game and adjust to their altered starting line up with Tobin and Cheney missing. They play like they’ve got something to prove, mostly that they can compete without their two star players. In the end, they prove that not only can they compete, but they can dominate, winning 3-0. Christen plays a great game, ending with a goal and an assist and the locker room holds a sense of urgency after the game, everyone wanting to get back to the hotel quickly.

Christen pulls up the stream on her phone once she gets on the bus and a few teammates crowd around, squinting at the small screen. The game is less than a minute in when she pulls it up and once back at the hotel, the team all piles into Kelley and Crystal’s room to watch the rest.

The first half ends scoreless but a Carli Lloyd goal puts the US up 1-0 about a minute into the second half. The team goes crazy when Tobin scores 15 minutes later and their excitement doesn’t die down when Cheney subs in 10 minutes after that. The US scores two more goals, one on an assist by Tobin, and the game ends with a 4-0 victory.

 

The Tar Heels head up to Syracuse on Saturday for their game on Sunday, kicking off only 45 minutes before the national team game. Tobin still hasn’t called or texted. Christen doesn’t bother to send a good luck text this time.

 

Christen bends down and tightens her cleats while she waits for kick off. She takes a deep breath and feels a sense of calm determination as smiles at Kelley, who’s getting the start with her. However, once the game is underway Christen just can’t get in her zone. Her touches are off and her passes aren’t connecting and she’s getting beat on the counterattack. Luckily, it seems like she’s the only one having an off game and they come off the field at halftime with a 2-0 lead thanks to goals by Kelley and Syd.

Syracuse scores 44 seconds into the second half. Christen is subbed out 4 minutes later. When Anson claps her on the back as she jogs past him off the field, she can tell by the look on his face that she won’t be going back in. They win 3-1. Christen watches from the bench.

“Shake it off Pressy,” Anson warns as she walks past him onto the bus, not feeling quite as amped or excited as her teammates even after the win. 

The flight back to UNC is quiet, everyone exhausted from the weekend of travel and games. After boarding the bus back to campus, Kelley invites basically the entire team over to watch the game, since she has it recorded. The team sprawls out all over the living room, chattering excitedly. Ali and Ashlyn show up last, carrying boxes of pizza and Kelley presses play. Tobin’s face is one of the first things on the screen as the camera pans over the starters during the national anthem. The team claps and cheers. Christen looks away. She goes into her room to pull on a hoody, Tobin’s hoody, and slips out of the suite. She ends up on the soccer field shivering in the chilly fall air. As she sits down in the center circle, her phone chirps.

 

 **Tobs** : Hey, should be back by 11:30. Wait up for me? Miss you too.

 

Christen stares at the text for a while. She types a lot of responses, erasing them each time. Eventually she gives up, locking her phone and tucking it back into her pocket without replying. She lies back on the cool grass, her hands behind her head as she watches the sky fade to darker and darker shades of blue until the stars are all visible against an almost black backdrop.

When she gets back to the suite, only Kelley remains in the living room, a big glass of chocolate milk in one hand and the remote in the other as she flips through the channels. Christen sinks into the couch next to her and Kelley looks at her, opening her mouth to say something. Maybe to ask where she’s been or why she didn’t watch the game, Christen thinks. She must be able to read something in Christen’s expression though, because she closes her mouth without saying anything and studies Christen’s face long and hard before holding the cup of chocolate milk out to her. “Want some of my chocolate milk?” she asks quietly. And it shouldn’t make Christen feel better. It shouldn’t fix anything at all really, but for some reason the simple offer of a sip of a drink that Christen honestly hasn’t enjoyed since middle school is enough right now. She nods and accepts the cup from Kelley, taking a few sips before handing it back. Kelley takes it wordlessly, settling on an episode of Chopped and putting the remote on the coffee table.

They pass the chocolate milk back and forth, not talking beyond a few comments about the basket ingredients and the dishes and who’s going to get chopped. When the episode ends and the chocolate milk is gone, Christen gets ready for bed. Kelley is lying in her own bed typing away on her laptop when Christen pulls the door shut and climbs under her covers. After a few minutes of just the sound of Kelley’s typing filling the room, Christen rolls onto her side to face her.

“Hey Kells,” she whispers, watching Kelley turn to her in the soft blue light from her laptop screen.

“Sorry, is the typing bothering you? I can go in the living room,” Kelley offers.

“No, it’s not that,” Christen quickly replies. “It’s just…Tobin should be back in like 15 or 20 minutes and when she gets here can you just like, I don’t know, just tell her I’m sleeping and I’ll see her tomorrow or something?” 

Kelley is quiet for a moment. “Yeah, no problem CP,” she finally answers, her voice soft and kind. 

“Thanks,” Christen sighs out, rolling onto her back. After a few moments the typing resumes and Christen closes her eyes.

She’s just drifting off when she hears the door to the suite bang open and the sound of Tobin’s laughter filters into her consciousness. “Thanks dude, I got it from here,” she hears Tobin’s voice speak loudly in the living room. There’s shuffling and Christen can hear Tobin in her own room, just on the other side of the wall.

After a few minutes her own bedroom door creaks open and she cracks one eyelid to see Tobin’s silhouette illuminated by the hallway lights. “Chris?” Tobin whispers, taking a few steps into the room, towards Christen’s bed.

“Tobin, she’s sleeping, leave her alone” Kelley whispers from her own bed, her voice holding a bit of an edge.

Tobin glances up at Kelley quickly before turning her head back towards Christen. “Oh, alright. Sorry. Night,” Tobin says softly, her voice containing some mixture of disappointment and confusion as walks out, pulling the door shut behind her.

Christen sighs, swallowing back the lump in her throat. “Thanks,” she whispers in Kelley's direction.

Kelley slips out of bed to put her laptop on her desk before climbing back under her covers. “Anytime,” she whispers back in the darkness. 

Christen listens to the shuffling on the other side of the wall before she hears the door to the suite open and bang shut loudly.

 

The next morning, Tobin isn’t in her room when Christen peaks in before leaving for class. That’s no surprise. What is a surprise though, is what happens ten minutes later, when Christen is walking across campus and she hears her name being called. She slows and looks around, barely having time to react before Tobin is barreling into her, crushing her into a hug. Christen stands still, her arms limply at her sides as Tobin presses a smile into the skin of her neck.

Before Christen can get her arms up to hug Tobin back, to hold on to her, she’s pulling away, Tobin’s always pulling away. But her eyes are burning bright and her grin is still wide and her lips are moving and it takes Christen a second to realize that she’s talking. She shakes her head, blinking at Tobin. “What? What’d you say?” she asks, oddly breathless. 

Tobin just laughs and starts walking, grabbing Christen’s hand to tug her along, but quickly dropping it when Christen reacts and starts walking alongside her. “Nothing important pretty Pressy, don’t worry about it.”

After class Tobin packs up in a hurry, shoving her laptop and notebook into her backpack. She throws the bag onto her back and gets up, turning back to Christen as almost an afterthought. “I gotta go meet with the academic counselor. Catch you later,” she says, with a smile, turning and walking away before Christen can respond.

 

Christen doesn’t see or hear from Tobin again until Tuesday when she shows up to their comm class 20 minutes late, slouching down in the seat next to Christen without even looking in her direction.

When class ends, Tobin finally turns her head towards Christen. “Do you have class?” she asks quietly, watching Christen zip her backpack shut.

Christen nods, standing up. “Yeah. I’m gunna go grab coffee, then I have Spanish.”

Tobin stands, picking up her own backpack. “See you at practice?” she questions, not looking at Christen as they walk to the door at the back of the auditorium. 

“See you at practice,” Christen affirms. As she walks out of the building, heading the opposite direction of Tobin, she can’t help the confusion she feels about the interaction with her. She’s not exactly sure what happened in the week apart, but before Tobin left for camp things were going well, not perfect by any means, but improving, and now they’re just not on the same page anymore.

 

Practice that evening is tough. Maybe the team is still tired from traveling and the fitness heavy training the night before or maybe they’re stressed because it seems like everyone has exams this week. They run through various drills but it seems like no one can hold possession and shots are off target and the ball seems to ping around with no real purpose. Anson decides to end the drills early in favor of a scrimmage, hoping it’ll ease some tensions and end training on a high note. However, the team still isn’t clicking and tackles are getting sloppy and frustrations seem to be building instead of lessening.

Christen tracks back to cover after the other team gets a free kick and she wins the ball outside the box. Tobin quickly strips her of it though and Christen turns to try to win it back. She’s alone with Tobin in the corner of the field just outside of her team’s 18 and Tobin’s jaw is set and her eyes are hard and Christen wants the ball just as bad as Tobin wants to keep it. Christen watches Tobin’s feet and steps in to poke the ball away, but Tobin chips it over her head and tries to run around her into the box. Christen’s ankles tangle as she turns quickly and Tobin is shoving at her hard, trying to get past her to the ball and she goes down as Tobin succeeds in sprinting around her. And admittedly she doesn’t go down that hard and it’s probably not a foul and it isn’t painful at all but for some reason she finds herself wanting to stay down, wanting to just lay here on the field and cry.

Instead she sits up and watches Tobin’s cross being headed over the crossbar by Syd. Anson blows his whistle ending practice and Christen watches Tobin walk towards the sideline, not even glancing back at her once. Instead, Cheney walks over and holds her hand out to help Christen up. She follows Christen’s gaze to Tobin’s retreating form as she pulls her to her feet. “Don’t worry, it’s not you,” Cheney says, patting Christen on the back. “Camp is over and adjusting back to the real world isn’t always easy. And she’s just pissed because she’s failing French and almost failing English and if her GPA slips anymore she’ll be on academic probation,” Cheney says casually before plopping down on the grass next to ARod to stretch. 

Christen keeps walking to where Tobin and Kelley are squirting each other with water bottles laughing. She comes up behind Tobin and grips her bicep, probably a little tighter than she means to based on the way Tobin freezes, the laughter dying in her throat. She turns her head to look at Christen, her eyes wide and wild, her face wet from Kelley squirting water at her, her smile fading faster than the light of the setting sun. “We need to talk,” Christen says lowly, loosening her grip on Tobin’s arm.

Tobin doesn’t react for a moment and Kelley must sense the awkwardness because she bounds off after Emily and leaves Christen and Tobin alone on the sideline. Tobin watches Kelley go, and swallows hard, dragging her eyes back to meet Christen’s. Her eyes, like her, are still wild and shining brightly as she clenches her jaw and Christen watches as she works to regain her composure. Her mouth falls into an easy smile and her bicep relaxes under Christen’s hand and her eyes hold more mischief than panic as she pulls back slightly and squirts some water into her mouth. “Okay Pressy. Let’s talk,” she grins, water dripping down her chin. 

Christen shakes her head, looking around at the few of their teammates that are still on the field, playing around or stretching. “Not now, not here. After we shower and change.”

Tobin shrugs and plops down in the grass to untie her cleats. Christen looks back out at the field. “Chris,” Tobin calls out, grabbing her attention. “Go take your shots. I’ll wait,” she says, squinting up at Christen.

Christen hesitates for a moment before nodding and turning back to the field. She grabs one of the ball bags and starts lining up shots outside the 18. She’s taken ten shots with each foot when Tobin wanders over barefoot and stands on the goal line. “I’ll be your keeper,” she calls, bending at the knees and putting her hands out in front of her.

Christen glances around and sees that they’re the only two left on the field. She lines up her shot and sends a rocket right at Tobin. Tobin yelps and ducks down, dropping to the grass with her hands over her head as the ball hits the back of the net. Christen can’t help but start laughing and Tobin sits up to pout at her. She gets up and grabs the ball, throwing it back at Christen who side steps it easily, still laughing.

“Chris,” Tobin draws out as she brushes grass off of herself. “It’s not funny. Stop laughing,” she commands, walking towards Christen. Christen shakes her head, her eyes watering from laughing so hard. “Christen,” Tobin whines out, crossing her arms. “You coulda killed me! I’m never being your keeper again,” she declares, struggling to seem serious.

Christen wipes at her eyes and starts collecting the balls. “Sorry,” she giggles. “I just didn’t know you were so afraid of the ball.”

Tobin huffs in indignation as she gathers a few of the balls. “I am not afraid of the ball,” she denies, putting the last ball into the bag and hoisting it up over her shoulder. Christen feels a little bit lighter as they walk off the field together. 

The locker room is almost emptied out by the time they walk in. Christen heads for the showers but Tobin has to jog back out to the field where she forgot her cleats, socks, and shin guards.

Christen is just finishing getting dressed when Tobin walks back into the locker room wrapped in a towel, her wet hair dripping over one shoulder. Christen averts her eyes and focuses on slowly pulling on her socks and sneakers. When she looks back up, Tobin is in shorts and a sports bra, looking back at her curiously.

“What?” Christen asks as she stands back up, self conscious under Tobin’s gaze.

Tobin shakes her head and walks closer to Christen, smiling softly. “It’s just-“ she trails off, stopping just in front of Christen and bringing her hand up to Christen’s cheek, her thumb landing under Christen’s chin, tilting her head so she’s looking Tobin in the eyes. “You’re just so pretty, you know?” Tobin whispers, her eyes wide and filled with wonder as they flit over Christen’s face, lingering on her lips.

Christen blushes and she’s not really sure how it happens but the next thing she knows Tobin’s got her pushed up against the wall, their hands wandering over each other’s bodies as their tongues fight for dominance. Christen is kissing down Tobin’s jawline when she has some sort of moment of clarity, remembering that they should be talking, that Tobin is failing, that Tobin ignored her for a week, that Tobin pushed her down at practice not an hour earlier, and the hurt comes rushing in all at once. She feels angry tears pricking at her eyes as she drags her teeth over Tobin’s pulse point, earning a small moan and she comes to a stop on Tobin’s shoulder, right next to the strap of her sports bra. Before even really thinking things through she bites down hard on Tobin’s muscle. “Ow,” Tobin yelps as she jolts back, her hand flying up to her shoulder as she looks at Christen, bewildered. 

Christen can’t even look at her, if she looks into those eyes, that are somehow always wild and free and bright in a way that no one else’s eyes are, she might just break so instead she looks down, blinking against the tears that threaten to spill over. Her cheeks redden and her breathing hitches as she realizes, _holy shit I just bit Tobin Heath_.

“Christen?” Tobin whispers, confusion evident in her tone. But Christen can’t do this now, she’s already too worked up, and she needs time to recover, to think, to collect her thoughts. She needs to face Tobin with a clear mind and not when Tobin is standing there with so much of her warm tan skin on display.

“No,” she whispers, answering a question that Tobin didn’t ask as she brushes past her and walks to her locker, grabbing her bag. Tobin doesn’t say anything, makes no attempt to stop her. Christen glances back at her as she gets to the door of the locker room and Tobin is still rooted to the spot, her hand still over her shoulder, and she honestly looks smaller and younger than Christen’s ever seen, her eyes a soft brown and wide enough to give her an air of innocence on first glance. Christen turns away and pushes through the locker room door, not wanting to stick around and watch the innocence fade into cool indifference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little hiccup in the happiness :) gotta keep you on your toes


	23. That is not our problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue in this one, sorry if you're not into that!

Christen storms back into the suite after leaving Tobin in the locker room and heads straight for her room, slamming the door behind her. She flops down onto her bed, face first, muffling a groan into her pillow.

“You okay there CP?” Christen lifts her head to see Kelley sitting in her desk chair, looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

She drops her face back onto her pillow before responding. “I bit Tobin,” she mumbles into her pillow. 

“What?” Kelley questions.

Christen groans again, turning her head to the side so she’s facing Kelley. “I bit Tobin,” she repeats in a quiet voice, opening her eyes to gauge Kelley’s reaction.

Kelley just stares back at her. “And like not in a sexy way?”

Christen shakes her head.

“What do you mean you bit her? What happened?” Kelley prods.

Christen sighs and sits up, deciding to start at the beginning. “I don’t know. I think we were doing okay before she left for camp, like she was around more, you know? A little less disappearing and sleeping who knows where. But when she was in camp she didn’t talk to me. Like she called me the first night and then I didn’t hear from her again, besides like 5 text messages that mostly just said lol. And then she comes back and, I don’t know. It was like we reset and started over. Then she pushed me,” Christen starts getting choked up by this point. “And Cheney told me she’s failing and I thought we should talk, but then she had water on her face and she was smiling and her hair was a mess. And then she was my keeper and she ducked and we were laughing and then after in the locker room and she was in a towel and then no shirt and we were kissing and I remembered and I bit her,” she chokes out, practically incoherent as tears spill over.

At some point in Christen’s story Kelley’s eyes widened and she got up from her chair, climbing onto the bed next to Christen, waiting for her to finish before pulling her into a hug. She doesn’t say anything, just hugs Christen and rubs her back while she pulls herself together, taking deep, shaky breaths. After a few minutes Kelley leans back to look at Christen, offering a small smile. “I’ll be right back. Stay here,” she says, hopping off the bed and leaving the room. 

Christen grabs some tissues and wipes her face while she waits. Kelley returns a few minutes later, kicking the door shut behind her, carrying two full glasses of chocolate milk. She hands one to Christen and climbs onto the bed to sit next to her. “Okay, so let me see if I got all of that. Tobin ignored you during camp and she’s been weird since she got back?” 

Christen nods, sipping the chocolate milk.

“And she pushed you down at practice and she’s failing? Failing what?”

“French. And close to failing English. At least that’s what Cheney told me. Tobin didn’t even mention it,” Christen explains.

Kelley nods, thoughtfully. “So then you thought you should talk but she looked pretty and was half naked so you made out instead but then you remembered you were mad so you bit her?” 

Christen opens her mouth to protest but hesitates, closing her mouth and nodding slightly. “Yeah, basically,” she answers, and she can’t help but let out a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, especially when Kelley puts it like that.

Kelley laughs as well, shaking her head in disbelief. “Where did you bite her?” 

“Her shoulder. Like right here,” Christen responds, pointing to the spot on Kelley’s shoulder.

“Was it hard?”

“Kinda. I mean I didn’t like break the skin or anything but it was harder than like a love bite,” Christen shrugs.

“What’d she do?”

“She said ow and then I left. I should probably apologize,” Christen muses.

Kelley narrows her eyes at her, shaking her head. “She kinda deserved it CP,” she remarks, finishing off the last of her chocolate milk. “Wanna go get dinner? Some of the team is meeting in like 20 minutes.”

“Will Tobin be there?”

Kelley looks back at her expectantly. “Is Tobin ever there?”

Christen nods, smiling a bit. “Good point. I’ll come.”

 

 

Tobin watches Christen leave the locker room with wide eyes, her hand still cupped over her stinging shoulder muscle. “What the fuck,” she mutters after the door swings shut. She walks over to her locker and grabs a shirt from her bag, tugging it over her head as she wonders what to do. Her first thought is to go to Cheney and ARod’s but she can picture their disapproving looks and she can practically hear Cheney’s ‘captain voice’ in her head, telling her that she needs to fix this before it spills over onto the field. So instead, she grabs her backpack and walks out of the locker room, heading out of the soccer building. 

She walks a few steps onto the field, enjoying the feel of the grass beneath her bare feet, before she plops down, leaning against her backpack and unlocking her phone. She clicks into her favorites and Facetimes the third name on the list, sipping water as she waits for it to connect.

After a few seconds a familiar face with bright blue eyes fills the screen. “Hiya Toby!”

“Hey, it’s my favorite striker in the whole wide world,” Tobin exclaims, knowing it will make Alex smile. “What are you doing answering Allie’s phone?”

“She ran out to get something out of her car. She’ll be back in a minute. What’s up? I thought we were supposed to Facetime you when we got out of practice tonight?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, sorry, I just needed to talk to you guys. How long do you have? Do you have practice soon?”

Alex shakes her head. “No, we have like an hour. Why-” she stops short, her words cut off by a door opening.

“Al, why are you on my phone?” Tobin hears Allie ask.

“It’s Tobin,” Alex says, turning the phone around so Tobin can see Allie.

“Harry!” Allie yelps, grabbing at the phone.

“Hey Har,” Tobin laughs out.

“Tobin needs to talk to us. Sounds very serious,” Alex says in the background, causing Tobin to roll her eyes. 

“Uh oh, Harry what’d you do?” Allie asks in a mock stern voice, as Alex squeezes her face next to Allie’s so they’re both on screen.

“Did you get high and now you’re freaking out because you might have a drug test again?” Alex teases.

“Wait no,” Allie quips. “Is this about a girl?” she asks through narrowed eyes.

Tobin opens her mouth but is cut off by Alex before she can get a word out.

“Oh! It totally is about a girl! What’d you do?” Alex laughs and then grins deviously. “Or _who_ did you do might be the better question?”

“Yeah Har, who was it this time? Athletic trainer again? TA? That cute US soccer intern? Ohmigod, stop, a teammate?” she asks in disbelief, even though Tobin hasn’t said a word since they said hi.

“OH! It totally was a teammate!” Alex squeals. 

“Was it Christen?! Say it was Christen! You guys are so cute together. Aren’t they cute together, Al?” Allie says, grinning widely.

Alex nods enthusiastically. “Definitely! The cutest. About time you made some moves Toby.” 

“Can you both just shut the fuck up!? Holy shit, I don’t even know why I called,” Tobin groans, exasperatedly. She hadn’t exactly told Alex and Allie that she had started ‘seeing’ Christen a while ago, not wanting to endure the teasing.

“Oh. Was it not Christen?” Alex asks solemnly. 

“No, just shut up and listen. I didn’t sleep with anyone,” she starts.

“Wow that’s a first,” Allie murmurs, grinning sheepishly when Tobin glares at her through the phone. “Sorry, continue,” she says, gesturing with her hand.

“Christen and I already are kind of a thing,” she says, watching their jaws drop and their eyes widen. She holds a hand up before they can start talking. “Just listen,” she warns, effectively silencing them. “We haven’t really put a label on it but we hang out a lot and we’ve gone on dates and we make out and we’re basically together,” she sighs.

“Tobin Heath,” Alex breathes out. “I mean we knew you were friends and I could tell you were into her and we were a little suspicious about the whole wanting to do matching Halloween costumes thing, but we didn’t know it was serious. I’ve never seen you even ask for a girl’s number before, and now you’ve been secretly dating Christen without telling us? This is a huge deal. How long?” 

Tobin shrugs and rubs the back of her neck. “Our first date was like middle of September but we’d been like kinda hanging out before that.”

“Wow, good job Harry. She’s hot,” Allie smirks.

“She’s more than hot, she’s like,” Tobin trails off. “She’s like drop dead gorgeous. And she’s crazy smart. And she’s so fast and she can score from like anywhere. And she’s really nice and funny and just so fucking cute. You should see the way her face lights up when she sees a dog,” Tobin laughs, blushing when she realizes that she’s rambling.

“Oh,” Alex gasps, her eyes wide. “Oh wow. You like really like her Toby.”

Tobin groans and runs a hand through her hair. “Yeah. I think I fucked it all up though.”

“What happened?” Allie asks sympathetically. 

“We were really good I think but when I was at the national team camp last week we didn’t really talk much and she’s been weird ever since I got back. Then we were just making out in the locker room and she bit me and then like stormed out,” Tobin explains, squirting some water into her mouth. 

“She bit you?” Allie asks, wrinkling her nose.

Tobin pulls the neck of her t shirt to the side and lifts her phone. “Yeah, see?”

Allie squints at the phone and shakes her head. “I don’t see anything. Al, do you see anything?”

Alex also squints before shaking her head as well. “Nope, nothing.” 

Tobin rolls her eyes, releasing the neck of her t shirt. “Whatever, it’s there. I think she’s pissed that we didn’t talk while I was at camp. What should I do?”

“Well, why didn’t you talk?” Alex asks. “You talked to us while you were at camp.”

Tobin rubs the back of her neck, looking up at the sky. “I don’t know. I thought she’d be a distraction so I kinda ignored her,” she admits. 

“Harry, Harry, Harry,” Allie tuts, shaking her head in disapproval. “What a dumb move. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. You gotta apologize, right Al?”

“Totally,” Alex nods. “Buy her flowers! Oh, or chocolate. Or both! And write her a nice apology. I mean you should also apologize in person but you suck at confrontation so you better write it down too.”

Tobin nods, “alright, you think that’ll work?”

Allie shrugs, “maybe, maybe not, but you need to apologize either way.” 

“I know, I know,” Tobin groans.

 

 

After dinner, Christen has been back in the suite for maybe ten minutes and has just sat down at her desk to study when she hears Tobin enter. She listens to her talk to Kelley in the living room for a few minutes before there’s a soft knock on her half open bedroom door. 

“Christen?” Tobin calls softly. “Can I come in?”

Christen closes her eyes, not turning to face the door and takes a moment to think. She’s still hurt and angry and confused, and honestly a little embarrassed, and she would really rather avoid Tobin, but avoidance seems to be what’s gotten them into this situation in the first place. So, she takes a deep breath and turns in her chair. “Yeah, I guess,” she nods.

Tobin slips in and closes the door behind her. She looks unsure, shifting her weight and chewing her lip, her eyes flitting around the room looking everywhere but at Christen. The silence weighs heavy between them, neither wanting to speak up and make the first move. Christen is about to turn back around and start studying when it seems like Tobin makes a decision. She lets out a breath and stops moving. “You bit me,” she practically whispers. She clears her throat and squares her shoulders and her eyes stop moving around the room wildly, landing on Christen instead. “You bit me,” she repeats louder, a hint of accusation in her tone this time.

“You pushed me,” Christen states flatly, shrugging, as if this is an explanation for her behavior.

Tobin’s brow furrows and she takes a step closer. “What are you talking about?” she asks hotly.

“At practice. You pushed me down,” she replies, crossing her arms and trying to keep her cool. 

“You tripped over your own feet Christen,” Tobin protests, her voice loud. “I barely even touched you!”

“It doesn’t matter! That’s not even what this is about Tobin. Just,” Christen stops to take a deep breath, before lowering her voice to continue. “I just can’t do this right now, okay?”

“Fine,” Tobin mutters, spinning around and leaving the room, the door to the suite slamming shut a few seconds later.

Christen turns back to her books but the words all blend together and she reads the same sentence four times without taking any of it in before she gives up. She slams her book shut and quickly changes, grabbing her cleats and heading to one of the rec fields to take out her frustrations on her body and a soccer ball.

  

 

Tobin walks down to the parking lot, still fuming and disappointed in herself. She sits in her Jeep and turns on the Bluetooth before calling Alex.

“Toby what’s up? I’m in the locker room so I only have a couple minutes,” she answers, and Tobin can hear music and yelling in the background.

“I fucked up the whole apology thing. Like I really fucked it up Al,” she says, her voice tight as she holds back tears.

“Shit, hang on,” Alex mutters. Tobin hears yelling and the sound of doors opening and closing before it’s much quieter. “Alright Tobin, I got Allie and you’re on speaker. What happened?”

Tobin runs a hand through her hair. “I went to apologize but I just wanted to make sure I was apologizing for the right thing, you know? So I asked why she bit me and she was like ‘oh you pushed me at practice’ but like it wasn’t even a foul, I was going for the ball and so I kinda like yelled at her. And then she was like whatever that’s not even what this is about and she basically told me to go away,” she summarizes, rubbing the heel of her hands against her eyes, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

“Babe, that is not what we talked about,” Allie hums. “I thought you knew why she was mad. Why didn’t you just apologize? Now you need to apologize for yelling at her too.”

“I know,” Tobin groans, leaning her forehead against the steering wheel.

“It’s okay Toby. Just give her a little space. Maybe try again tomorrow,” Alex says in a gentle voice.

“Yeah and don’t be so stubborn. Just keep your cool and apologize, okay?” Allie asks softly.

“Okay,” Tobin mutters. “Thanks guys.”

“Anytime Har. We gotta go before Coach makes us sprint for being late. Call us tomorrow and let us know how it goes?”

“Yeah yeah, okay. Love you guys, talk to you later.”

 

 

When Christen returns to the suite, she heads straight for the shower, peeling off her sweaty clothes on the way. She walks into her room a little bit later, wrapped in a towel and surrounded by a sense of calm after her time on the field. Kelley is sleeping so she very quietly gets dressed in the dark room, before going to her bed to peel back the blankets. When she reaches onto her bed, her hand brushes against something crinkly and she pulls back, clicking on her desk light to see. There’s a chocolate bar, her favorite chocolate bar, with a sticky note on it. She puts the chocolate bar on her desk and holds the note under the light to read it.

_I’m sorry I pushed you at practice and I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m really really sorry Chris. –T_

Christen sighs reading it, because it’s not good enough, but she so desperately wishes that it was. She wishes that the push and Tobin raising her voice at her were the only problems between them. Because then maybe a sticky note and her favorite candy would be enough to fix things. It’s a step in the right direction, she reminds herself, sticking the note onto the corner of her desk. She clicks the light back off but instead of climbing into her bed she finds herself walking back into the hallway towards Tobin’s room.

She doesn’t really expect anything as she opens her door quietly, but by some miracle, Tobin is there, in her bed sleeping, her room lit softly by her desk light. She walks into the room, and closes the door behind her, causing Tobin to stir and Christen to rethink this decision. She watches Tobin roll onto her back, lifting her head off the pillow slightly. “Chris?” she mumbles, her voice laced with sleep and confusion.

“Yeah,” Christen whispers, still standing near the door.

Tobin yawns sleepily and reaches a hand out to Christen. “C’mere,” she mutters, her eyes closed.

Christen lets out a breath and walks towards the bed, gingerly climbing into her spot. Tobin rubs her eyes and rolls onto her side to face Christen. “Hi,” she whispers, looking a little bit more alert.

“Hi,” Christen whispers back, resisting the urge to reach out and brush the hair out of Tobin’s face.

“Where did you go?” Tobin asks, her brow furrowed.

“Soccer field. I took some shots. Thanks for the chocolate bar.”

“Did you see the note?” Tobin asks, continuing on when Christen nods. “I really am sorry. I didn’t really realize that I had even pushed you. I was kinda in the zone I guess. I should have just apologized earlier instead of getting upset with you.” 

“It’s okay Tobin. That doesn’t matter, you pushing me isn’t why I’m upset,” she explains, sitting up with her back against the wall.

“I know, but you bit me,” Tobin says, confusion evident on her face as she also sits up in bed, propping her pillow behind her.

“No. I mean, yes, but that’s not why,” she trails off looking down at her hands, not sure how to continue. 

Tobin doesn’t say anything and when Christen looks back over at her, she is staring back at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

But Christen isn’t really sure how to put her feelings into words, so she tries a different route. “Why did Cheney have to tell me you’re failing? I saw you doing French homework on the plane that one time and it didn’t look like you were struggling at all. Why are you failing?” she questions, trying to keep her voice calm as she feels herself start to get upset.

Tobin sighs and her eyes flit away from Christen, all of her attention suddenly consumed by a loose thread on her comforter. “I don’t know,” she admits softly.

“You don’t know?”

Tobin shrugs, picking at the thread, her jaw clenching and unclenching. Christen puts her hand over Tobin’s on the bed, stilling it. “Look at me,” she commands, quietly.

Tobin slowly lifts her head and Christen can see the effort she’s putting in to make eye contact, reading the uncertainty in her expression. “Talk to me,” Christen says, her hand still resting atop of Tobin’s softly.

Tobin doesn’t respond right away, her eyes drifting down to where their hands meet. “Tobin. Please talk to me,” Christen pleads.

“I’m trying!” Tobin retorts, her voice loud enough to make Christen flinch a bit. “I’m sorry. I’m trying,” she repeats in a quieter voice, tilting her head back against the wall and closing her eyes.

Christen is distracted momentarily by the view that this gives her of Tobin’s jawline but she quickly regains her focus. She turns Tobin’s hand over on the bed and laces their fingers together. “I’m trying too, you know,” she whispers, looking down at their hands.

Tobin sighs but doesn’t respond and they sit there in silence for a while, Christen running her thumb across Tobin’s knuckles and toying with her fingers, waiting.

Finally, Tobin opens her eyes, tilting her head back to normal. “I missed a few assignments and skipped a few classes. I can fix it,” Tobin says, her tone a bit defensive. “I'm gunna fix it,” she continues, her voice quieter and a little more unsure, and Christen thinks she might be talking about more than just her grades.

Christen nods, because really this was never about Tobin’s grades in the first place. “Tobin,” Christen says softly, waiting patiently until Tobin looks at her to continue. “What are we doing?”

Tobin’s brow furrows and she blinks at Christen in confusion. “Talking?” she offers, but Christen can see in her expression that she knows that isn’t what she was asking, knows that this isn’t the answer Christen is looking for, but she’s hoping it’s sufficient. 

Christen pulls her hand away and shakes her head, because it’s not enough. “No Tobin. You and me,” she says, gesturing between them. “What are we doing? What is this?”

Tobin sighs, because really she knew that was the question all along. “We,” she trails off uncertainly, her eyes searching Christen’s face for a clue as to what the correct answer is. “What do you want this to be?” she asks, settling for answering Christen’s question with a question of her own, a non answer, and this frustrates Christen as she takes a deep breath and prepares to lay everything on the table. 

“What do you want? Because I know what I want, Tobin. I know I want you. I want a relationship with you. I want you to be mine, my girlfriend, no one else’s. And I want to be yours. But I don't know if that's going to happen the way things are right now. Because, honestly, I have no idea what you want. You don’t talk to me Tobin. And you disappear all the time and I have no idea where you go. And sometimes I think you’re just too unpredictable and too wild for me, but then when you’re here and you’re with me and it’s just the two of us you remind me of all the reasons why I do want you. I know you’re trying. But I just don’t know if that’s enough,” she finishes, a little out of breath and her face hot. 

Tobin looks a little stunned, a little confused, her eyes wide and her mouth opening and closing as she searches for words. “Is this because we didn’t talk much when I was away?” she finally asks, and she at least has the decency to look contrite after asking it, averting her eyes as her cheeks turn pink, knowing the question in no way helps the situation.

Christen does her best not to scoff at the question. “Didn’t talk much? Tobin, after that first night that you called we didn’t talk at all. But no, that’s not the only reason why we’re having this conversation. It’s more than that. I just don’t know where we stand or what you want. If you don’t want this, if you don’t want me, then fine, we can go back to being friends. But you need to tell me if that’s what you want.”

Tobin shakes her head quickly. “No. That’s not what I want. I want what you want. I want you,” she rushes out, slightly panicked.

Christen looks at her skeptically for a moment and when Tobin raises her head to meet Christen’s gaze, she can see sincerity in her eyes, but she’s still a little upset with her, still a little unconvinced. “Prove it,” she says quietly, staring Tobin in the eyes. 

Tobin looks unsure for a minute but her eyes drift down to Christen’s lips and she starts to lean in. Christen leans away and shakes her head, a bit of a sad smile on her face. “No. Not like that, Tobin. I already know you’re good at that. _That_ is not our problem. You have to prove it with your actions.”

Tobin sits back and looks down at her hands, her face red. “My actions?” she mutters.

Christen sighs. “Yeah Tobs. I’m not saying you need to spend all your time with me or anything like that, but when you are in a relationship with someone you can’t just ignore them for a week and then expect things to go back to normal. And I want you to talk to me about things. You talk to Cheney and ARod and you talk to Alex and Allie, but when it’s just us all you want to do is like, play soccer or make out. I want to know what’s going on with you too. I don’t want to have to find out from ARod that you’re doing well at camp and excited for the game and I don’t want to have to hear it from Cheney that you’re failing. I want to hear those things from you so that I can be excited with you or I can help you figure out how to improve your grades or I can just be there for you. Being in a relationship is like being on a team, Tobin. We have each other’s back and support each other and do things together. Is that asking too much?” she finishes.

Tobin shakes her head, still looking down. “No,” she mumbles, spinning the ring on her finger. After a few seconds she lifts her head, looking Christen in the eyes. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, her lips in a slight pout and her eyes wide in that way that makes her look so innocent.

Christen finds herself melting under Tobin’s gaze, but she looks away before giving in. She leans back against the wall next to Tobin, their shoulders touching, and takes Tobin’s hand in her own. Neither of them say anything for a while. Finally, Christen breaks the silence, trying to voice her racing thoughts. “Okay, so are we doing this? Like a relationship? Are we together?” she asks, studying Tobin’s profile.

Tobin shrugs and nods, not looking at Christen. “I guess, right? If that’s what you want,” she says quietly.

Christen pulls her hand back again, turning her body to face Tobin. “Seriously, Tobin?” she asks, trying not to raise her voice. “Are you even listening to me? I literally just told you that that’s what I want. I’m asking if it’s what you want. Stop shrugging and just talk to me,” she says, exasperated.

Tobin nods, looking down at her hands and fiddling with her ring again. “Yeah, it’s what I want Christen. I just didn’t think it would be like this,” she mutters, barely audible.

“What does that mean?” Christen questions, confused.

Tobin sighs, finally lifting her head to look at Christen. “Like I thought I would ask you to be my girlfriend in like a cool and romantic way. Not because we got in a fight or whatever,” she admits.

“You were gunna ask me to be your girlfriend?”

Tobin looks at her expectantly, a hint of confusion on her face. “Well yeah. I just wasn’t really sure how to do it. I don’t know. But I really do want you to be my girlfriend, Chris,” she says emphatically, looking at Christen intently. 

Christen looks back at her and her brown eyes are so big and so bright and instead of wild, they look hopeful, and she feels herself giving in, and honestly, she doesn’t really mind. She nods, “I’d really like that Tobs. And you’ll be mine?”

Tobin nods, grinning widely. “Yeah, for sure. And I’ll do better. You know, with my actions and all that,” she says casually, with a wave of her hand.

“Okay,” Christen says, breaking off into a yawn. She scoots down into Tobin’s bed, getting comfortable, while Tobin gets up and turns her desk light off. The room is still fairly brightly lit thanks to a parking lot light right outside of Tobin’s window. Christen briefly wonders why Tobin doesn’t just close her blinds or buy black out curtains or something but when she climbs back into bed and Christen can still see the grin on her face, she finds herself grateful for Tobin’s bare window.

After a few minutes of silence, Christen is still unable to settle her thoughts and she turns to face Tobin. “Tobin?” she whispers.

Tobin opens her eyes to look back at her. “Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you talk to me when you were at camp? Did I do something wrong?” she asks shyly. 

Tobin sighs and shakes her head. “No, you didn’t do anything.”

“Then why?”

Tobin rolls onto her back, staring up at her ceiling, not answering.

“Please talk to me,” Christen whispers, studying Tobin’s profile.

Tobin doesn’t respond for a few seconds and Christen is about to give up and try to go to sleep when Tobin finally speaks up. “I missed you,” she whispers, so low that Christen isn’t even sure if she heard her correctly.

“What?” she asks, watching Tobin chew her bottom lip.

After a few seconds, Tobin lets out a deep breath. “Have you ever been homesick?” she asks, still staring up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, plenty of times. Why?”

“When I first started getting called into camp I used to get so homesick. I would cry and I wouldn’t want to eat and I would just want to go home. But after my mom died and things were not the best with my dad I stopped wanting to go home. And I stopped getting homesick. You can’t get homesick if you don’t have a home, right?” Tobin asks, fussing with the blankets as if she needs something to do with her hands.

Christen nods, but Tobin isn’t looking at her. “Yeah, I guess,” she speaks up.

“Right. So I haven’t been homesick since I was like 12 or 13,” Tobin sighs.

“Okay,” Christen says in a questioning tone, unsure about where Tobin is going with this.

“I didn’t feel good the beginning of this camp. Not like physically. Like I didn’t feel sick or something. I just felt, I don’t know like something was missing. Like I was missing something,” Tobin says quietly.

“You felt homesick?” Christen asks, still confused.

Tobin is quiet for a bit before she runs her hand through her hair and shrugs. “I don’t know. I missed you.” 

“But why didn’t you talk to me then? I missed you too and I missed you even more because we didn’t talk.”

“You don’t understand,” Tobin groans, her hand on her face.

Christen closes her eyes and bites down on her lip, trying to avoid snapping at Tobin. She doesn’t understand, because Tobin is making no sense and she’s tired and frustrated and just wants Tobin to stop being so closed off all the time and to just talk to her. She takes a deep breath, counting in her head to refocus and stay calm. When she opens her eyes, Tobin is still staring up at the ceiling, chewing her bottom lip.

“So talk to me. Help me to understand Tobin. I obviously can’t understand when you’re talking in circles and being super vague. Stop being afraid and just talk to me,” she says in a calm, measured voice.

Tobin turns on her side to look at her, fire in her eyes. “I’m not afraid,” she protests.

Christen rolls her eyes, and opens her mouth to respond but Tobin cuts her off. “No. You’re right. I am afraid. Because soccer has always been the most important thing to me. I love soccer and it has always been there for me and I need it, Chris. I need it more than you do, I need it more than anyone on our team does. And when I got to camp and I was thinking about you instead of soccer, I panicked. I was afraid that it would mess with me on the field and that I wouldn’t play good and I would lose soccer. And I can’t lose it. If I lost soccer, I would lose myself. So I thought, I don’t know, I thought that if we didn’t talk then I wouldn’t think about you and I could focus on soccer. But that was stupid because I thought about you anyway. I thought about you a lot. I wished you were there with me on the field and I thought about you off the field and you know what? It didn’t make me play bad, if anything I played even better because I wanted to do well in training so that I could start and you would be able to watch me. So I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to not talk to you, I know that now and I’m not gunna do it again. But I was scared. And I just like you so so much Christen and I don’t want to be scared anymore,” she finishes, her eyes ablaze in the light streaming in through her window.

Christen gapes at her, her mind racing to process Tobin’s confession. She struggles to come up with something to say back so she does the only thing she can think of. She surges forward, to kiss Tobin. Tobin is surprised and Christen is forceful and their teeth clash painfully before Tobin reacts, and starts kissing her back. Christen takes Tobin’s bottom lip between her teeth and tugs back on it gently before leaning back in to reconnect their lips. Tobin responds by grabbing Christen and rolling her onto her back, landing on top of her. She holds her weight up on one hand and smirks down at Christen. 

She leans in but instead of kissing Christen she passes her lips, their cheeks brushing against each other and whispers in her ear. “So, is _this_ what I’m good at?” she asks, her breath against Christen’s ear sending shivers down her spine. Christen reaches her hands up trailing them up and down Tobin’s back over her t shirt. She bites her lip against a moan when Tobin nips at her earlobe and begins trailing hot kisses down her neck.

She kisses her way down Christen’s neck until she reaches her t shirt and then pushes up, frowning. She hooks a finger in the neck of her t shirt and gently tugs on it. “This is in my way,” she complains.

Christen pulls on the hem of Tobin’s t shirt. “And this is in my way,” she whispers back, breathlessly. Tobin grins cheekily at her.

“Easy fix babe,” she says, pushing up so she’s kneeling with one leg on either side of Christen’s leg. Christen sits up as well and grabs the hem of Tobin’s t shirt, swatting her hands away, trying to take back some semblance of control. Tobin lifts her arms, and Christen pulls her t shirt up and over her head, her mouth falling open when Tobin’s braless chest is revealed.

She drags her eyes up and Tobin is smirking back at her confidently and Christen gets an urge to wipe that smirk off her face. She leans up further and tangles one hand in the hair at the back of Tobin’s head, pulling her towards her forcefully and kissing her hard. Tobin lowers herself so she’s basically sitting on Christen’s thigh and brings her hands up to tangle in her hair. Christen brings her other hand to Tobin’s chest, brushing her thumb over Tobin’s nipple gently, proud of herself when Tobin’s hands tighten in her hair and she lets out a little gasp against Christen’s lips.

Christen rolls Tobin’s nipple between her fingers, experimenting to see what gets the most reaction from Tobin. After a few minutes of this, Tobin pulls back, panting, her eyes wide and her lips swollen from kissing. “Fuck Chris, easy,” she moans when Christen tugs on one of her nipples. She reaches down and grabs the hem of Christen’s t shirt, pulling up on it. Christen reluctantly takes her hands off Tobin, lifting her arms and allowing Tobin to take her shirt off.

Tobin groans at the sight of Christen, who also had nothing on under her t shirt. She cups one hand at the back of Christen’s neck and kisses her hard, lowering her down on the bed. Christen complies, but is a little high on the reactions she had been getting from Tobin and isn’t quite ready to relinquish control. She hooks one leg around Tobin’s and uses her hips to give her the leverage to flip them over, so she is the one straddling one of Tobin’s legs and Tobin is flat on her back. Tobin gapes up at her, caught off guard by the change of positions. 

Christen doesn’t give her much time to think, leaning in and nipping at Tobin’s jaw, before sucking the spot under Tobin’s ear that always gets a reaction. She’s pleased when Tobin brings her hands up to Christen’s hips and moans. She continues leaving open mouthed kisses down Tobin’s neck. “Are you gunna bite me again?” Tobin whispers, causing Christen to freeze, a little surprised.

She leans up to look at Tobin. “Do you want me to?”

Tobin nods, “yes, just not so hard,” she rasps out. “And not where anyone can see,” she adds, breathlessly.

Christen leans back in, continuing to kiss Tobin’s neck, pausing at her collarbone and experimentally nipping at it. Tobin’s hands tighten on Christen’s hips, so Christen tries again, biting down a little harder. Tobin lets out a whine and her hands slide around Christen’s hips, grabbing at her ass. Christen licks over where she had bitten before kissing down her chest, lightly nipping at the tanned skin along the way. Tobin massages her ass, but when she bites down a little harder than before, just next to Tobin’s nipple, Tobin lets out a string of profanities and takes her hands away, one of them flying up to the back of Christen’s head. Christen soothes the bite with her tongue before moving a bit to swirl her tongue around Tobin’s hardened nipple. Tobin shudders underneath her, urging her on in a low voice and Christen, satisfied with the reaction, starts to repeat the process on the other side.

She has to muffle a moan against Tobin’s skin when Tobin’s hips jerk, shifting her leg and reminding Christen that she’s straddling her thigh. Tobin flexes her leg up against Christen’s core, and Christen gasps. Tobin gently tugs on her hair, pulling her up and into a searing kiss. She uses it as a distraction to flip them over again, pinning Christen down, her thigh still applying pressure between Christen’s legs. Christen arches into Tobin’s thigh but it’s not enough and suddenly she just really doesn’t care about waiting anymore. “Tobin,” she gasps, as Tobin palms her breast. 

Tobin leans up, looking at Christen with a mixture of concern and desire. “I need more,” Christen whines, grabbing Tobin’s hand and dragging it down her body. Tobin provides some resistance and bites her lip, looking down at her.

“Are you sure?” she asks, hesitating.

“Yes,” Christen pants out. “I want you.”

Tobin studies her face for a moment longer, apparently still not convinced. “Please Tobin,” she whines, arching up into her leg again.

Tobin finally gives in, nodding before grabbing the waistband of Christen’s sweatpants, leaning back to pull them off. She bites her bottom lip as she trails a hand back up Christen’s bare leg, ghosting it over her panties. Christen gasps and her hips jerk up, searching for more friction. Tobin repeats the motion a few times before hooking a finger in the elastic and tugging down. Christen lifts her hips to make the task easier. Tobin groans, pulling her panties down before slowly sliding her hands back up her legs. She continues up past her hips, gliding her hands up Christen’s sides to her breasts. Tobin leans in, kissing her, her thigh again falling against Christen’s core as she licks into her mouth. She toys with Christen’s nipples for a few seconds before her hand trails down between them. 

She slides down a little bit, kissing at Christen’s neck while her hand reaches it’s destination. “Fuck, you’re so wet babe,” she groans against Christen’s neck, dipping the tip of her finger into Christen. Christen arches up into the sensation.

“Tobin, more, please,” she begs, her hands fisting in the sheets of Tobin’s bed. Tobin moves a little bit to adjust her position and complies with Christen’s request, pushing two fingers further into her, the palm of her hand applying subtle pressure to Christen’s clit. Christen whines, so turned on that she's already close. Tobin continues to push her fingers in and out tortuously slow, and Christen grinds up into the palm of her hand, trying to up the tempo. When Tobin dips her head down and pulls one of her nipples into her mouth, it sends Christen over the edge, her back arching up off the bed, as moans interspersed with profanities and Tobin’s name tumble from her lips. Tobin lets her ride out her orgasm before slowly removing her fingers, wiping them on the sheets and leaning up to kiss Christen sweetly. 

“Was that okay?” she whispers, studying Christen’s face. Christen nods, too blissed out and out of breath to answer. Tobin leans in and kisses her again, softly and gently, before pulling back and falling to the bed next to her. They lay there in silence for a while, Tobin idly tracing patterns on Christen’s stomach while her breathing returns to normal. After a while Christen reluctantly sits up.

“I’m gunna go to the bathroom and go get my phone to set an alarm,” she explains, leaning down to peck Tobin on the lips. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Tobin just nods, grinning up at her. She climbs out of bed, digging through Tobin’s dresser to find one of her oversized t shirts to pull on before walking out of the room. 

She returns a few minutes later, climbing into bed next to Tobin, who’s eyes are barely open. She sets the alarm and Tobin wraps an arm around her from behind, pulling her into her. Christen smiles as her eyes begin to droop closed, enjoying the warmth of Tobin against her back. “Goodnight beautiful,” Tobin sighs, pressing a kiss into her shoulder.

“Night Tobs,” Christen whispers back, a satisfied smile on her face. And maybe they haven’t fixed everything and things definitely aren’t perfect between them, but Tobin is trying and she’s there and she’s hers, and for now that’s enough. She drifts off to sleep easily, content and warm in Tobin’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.  
> Lemme know whatcha think? Are the bits of Tobin's POV annoying or do you like it?  
> I'm gunna be traveling till next week so it's gunna be a while till I can update next. Thanks for being patient with me :)


	24. You liked it

Christen wakes up the next morning, the light from the sunrise filtering in Tobin’s window, and feels a little exhausted but in the best way. She misses the warmth of Tobin’s body against her back and reaches out behind her, hoping to pull her close again. However, her searching hand finds Tobin’s side of the bed empty, the sheets cool as if Tobin had never been there at all. Christen frowns and rolls over, opening her eyes to confirm that Tobin isn’t there.

She checks her phone and shuts off her alarm that’s not due to go off for over an hour, before sliding out of bed. She finds her sweatpants on the floor and tugs them on, padding out of Tobin’s room towards the kitchen, contemplating whether or not she should text Tobin asking where she is. She decides to and sends off a text reading ‘hey, where’d you go?’ as she walks down the hallway. She is surprised when she enters the kitchen and finds Kelley sitting at the counter, eating a banana and scrolling through her phone. She looks up when Christen enters and her face lights up. “Goodmorning CP, have a good night?” she asks through a mouthful of banana, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“What are you doing awake?” she asks, ignoring Kelley’s teasing and opening the fridge to find something for breakfast.

“I woke up super early to finish a paper but ended up finishing it way faster than I thought I would and I couldn’t fall back asleep,” Kelley responds, taking another big bite of banana.

Christen closes the fridge and spins around. “Do you wanna go grab breakfast?”

Kelley nods, taking the last bite of banana and getting up. “Yeah, lemme get dressed,” she mumbles, throwing away the banana peal.

Christen follows her and gets ready as well, throwing on yoga pants and long sleeve shirt. Kelley leads the way to her car and drives them off campus to a little diner that’s open early. Christen is quiet as they drive, staring at her phone and willing Tobin to text her back. When they pull into the parking lot and she still hasn’t gotten a response, she sighs and tucks her phone into the pocket of her sweatshirt.

She orders an omelet and takes out her phone again, frowning at the lack of notifications while Kelley orders a blueberry waffle and a side of bacon. “We’re gunna need two chocolate milks as well,” Kelley says, finishing out the order, her eyes on Christen.

Christen’s head perks up at this and tucks her phone away again. “Is this gunna be a thing now?” she asks, smiling and shaking her head at Kelley. “You giving me chocolate milk whenever there’s something wrong?”

Kelley shrugs and nods. “So you gunna tell me what happened or should we wait for the milk?”

Christen sighs, her smile fading. “Tobin and I talked last night and we’re like officially together now,” she starts, watching Kelley to see her reaction.

Kelley nods, smiling cautiously. “Isn’t that a good thing CP?”

Christen nods slowly. “Yeah, I think so.”

“So then what’s the problem?” Kelley asks, leaning forward.

“Well, we were talking for a while and she said she wanted to be together and I told her to prove it,” Christen trails off, waiting in silence while the waitress puts down their chocolate milks. Kelley immediately takes a sip, gesturing for Christen to continue. Christen looks around, but it’s early enough that there isn’t anyone sitting close to them. She fills Kelley in on all of the details of the night before, starting at the beginning. She only stops when their food comes, leaning closer to Kelley over the table to tell her about the last part of the night, blushing the entire time.

“Wow, so did you return the favor?” Kelley asks, pouring syrup over her waffle.

Christen’s eyes widen and she freezes, a forkful of omelet halfway to her mouth. “Return the favor?” she asks quietly, immediately anxious.

Kelley nods, laughing as she cuts her waffle. She stops laughing and looks up at Christen when she doesn’t respond and a look of understanding crosses her face, reading the panic in Christen’s features. “CP, don’t worry if you didn’t,” she rushes out. “It’s not a big deal at all, I’m sure she wasn’t expecting anything. Don’t freak out,” she reassures.

Christen shakes her head, already freaking out. “Oh god, what if she left because I didn’t return the favor?”

“Wait,” Kelley asks, pausing the cutting of her waffle. “What do you mean she left?”

Christen nods, sipping her chocolate milk. “Yeah, we went to sleep after but she wasn’t there when I woke up and I don’t know where she went. I texted her but she didn’t answer.”

Kelley shakes her head, frowning. “Chris, I highly doubt that that’s why she left. I’m sure there’s some other explanation, don’t worry. You guys have class together today, right?”

Christen nods, chewing a bite of her omelet.

“So if she doesn’t answer just ask her in class. And also you better chew her out for leaving. That’s seriously fucked up,” Kelley says. “Or like literally chew on her again,” Kelley grins, flinching when Christen kicks at her shins under the table.

 

Christen feels a little better as they head back to campus after breakfast, despite the fact that Tobin still hasn’t answered. She gets ready for class quickly, getting there early and settling into her seat to wait for Tobin to show up.

Tobin strolls in two minutes before class starts, leaning in to press a kiss onto Christen’s cheek and handing her a cappuccino. “Morning gorgeous,” she mumbles with a grin, dropping her backpack to the floor and sitting down next to Christen.

“Hi,” Christen responds hesitantly. “Where were you this morning?”

Tobin shrugs and leans back in her chair casually. “I couldn’t sleep. I was around,” she responds, waving a hand in the air noncommittally.

“Around where?” Christen questions, glancing to the front of the room to make sue class isn’t starting yet.

“Just like around campus. I don’t know,” Tobin shrugs again, yawning.

Christen rolls her eyes at Tobin’s vagueness. “Around campus where? You don’t know where you were?” she asks skeptically. 

Tobin grins and shakes her head. “I went down to the field but then I got bored of playing by myself so I was gunna wake everyone up for a pick up game but I remembered that a lot of the team has exams this week. So instead I walked around to see if I could just find someone to play with. But there was no one out so I went for a run instead. And then I went to Cheney and ARod’s and showered and slept for a few hours and now I’m here,” she finishes with a smile. 

Christen sips her cappuccino, not really happy with Tobin’s explanation. “Why didn’t you just come back to the suite after running?”

“Because I was closer to Cheney and ARod’s,” she answers as if it’s obvious. She looks at Christen with a confused expression, her head tilted to one side, before turning to the front of the room where the professor is beginning the lecture. 

“I wish you woulda stayed. I didn’t like waking up alone, especially after last night,” Christen whispers, staring down at her notebook, not even sure if Tobin heard her.

Christen steals glances at Tobin as class wears on, and is surprised to find her paying attention at least half of the time. Granted, the other half she’s watching soccer or zoning out, but at least it’s an improvement, Christen thinks. When class ends, Tobin closes her laptop and leans back in her seat, stretching.

“Hey babe, you have like an hour til your next class right?” she asks through a yawn, watching Christen pack up.

Christen nods, zipping up her backpack.

“Take a walk with me?” Tobin asks, her voice hopeful as she slides her laptop into her backpack.

Christen nods, picking up the empty cup from her cappuccino. “Yeah, okay,” she complies, waiting for Tobin to stand up. 

Tobin grabs her hand once they get out of the building, leading her down the sidewalk to the clock tower. She stops in front of the door and looks around before pulling her backpack open and digging into it for the key. “Tobin, I feel like this is definitely trespassing,” Christen says cautiously, watching Tobin pull the key out and unlock the door.

“Christen, it can’t be trespassing if I have the key,” Tobin responds, throwing a grin over her shoulder as she reaches for Christen’s hand and tugs her into the building.

They drop their backpacks by the door and start up the stairs in silence but Tobin breaks it after a few moments. “Hey Chris?” she asks softly, following behind Christen up the stairs.

“Yeah,” Christen responds, pausing to look back at Tobin, who grins sheepishly, having been caught staring at her ass.

“Sorry,” she mutters, dragging her eyes up to Christen’s face. Christen just shakes her head and laughs, continuing up the stairs.

“It’s okay, what’s up?” she asks, not stopping or looking back this time.

Tobin clears her throat behind her and doesn’t answer for a few steps. “I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for leaving you last night. I should have stayed with you and I realize now how stupid it was for me to not be there when you woke up and I guess I was being selfish and wasn’t thinking about what you would want. I’m still learning, you know? I won’t do it again,” she finishes quietly 

Christen glances behind her and Tobin is looking back at her, a sincere expression on her face. Christen nods, continuing up the stairs. “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

When they reach the top of the stairs, Christen looks back at Tobin hesitantly but Tobin just gestures for her to enter the room. So, she turns back around and walks in.

Christen’s mouth drops open as she looks around the room. There’s flowers dotting the floor next to one of the windows, a glass vase with red roses, a small planter with sunflowers, a pale pink vase filled with white daisies and deep pink carnations, and another glass vase filled with white calla lilies. Christen turns to Tobin who’s still standing by the stairs, watching Christen, her cheeks pink and her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. “Tobin, what is all of this?” she asks breathlessly, gesturing at the flowers.

“I wasn’t sure what you like and the lady kept telling me all the meanings behind different kinds of flowers but I was kind of in a rush because the flower place didn’t open til 8 and I wanted to get you a cappuccino before class so I just got the 4 that I had narrowed it down to,” Tobin shrugs, glancing around the room. “Do you like them?” she asks quietly, finally turning her gaze to Christen, looking a little shy, a little unsure.

Christen looks back at the flowers again before nodding enthusiastically. She closes the distance between them and flings her arms around Tobin. “I love them Tobin. Thank you,” she mumbles into Tobin’s shoulder, hugging her tightly. Tobin hugs her back, running her hand up and down Christen’s back. After a few moments she squeezes and pulls back, keeping her hands on Christen’s waist.

“Which are your favorite?” she asks, studying Christen’s face.

Christen looks over at the flowers on the other side of the room thoughtfully before looking back at Tobin. “I’m not sure,” she answers honestly. “They’re all so beautiful.” 

Tobin nods and lets her hands drop. “Why don’t you go get a closer look and see if that helps you decide,” she suggests, a grin playing at her lips. 

Christen’s brows furrow suspiciously but she complies, walking slowly over to the flowers and looking down at them.

“Look up,” Tobin hints from behind her.

Christen starts to look straight up, confused by Tobin’s suggestion but something catches her eye on the way. The brick walls of the room are covered with the names of alumni who wait their entire college careers at UNC to climb the clock tower and sign their names on the wall, but one of the bricks at Christen’s eye level has black sharpie scrawled on it, darker and fresher than the other writing in the room.

 

_Christen Press, Will you be my girlfriend? –Tobin Heath_

Christen reads the message in a whisper, whirling around to face Tobin with wide eyes.

Tobin walks closer to her, grinning. “Cool and romantic enough?” she asks, stopping in front of Christen.

“Yes, and yes I’ll be your girlfriend,” Christen nods, smiling widely as she brings her hand up to Tobin’s cheek and leans forward to kiss her. “You’re amazing,” she whispers against Tobin’s lips after kissing her thoroughly.

Tobin pecks her lips again, shaking her head. “Not as amazing as you,” she responds, leaning forward to kiss Christen again. “But as much as I’d love to chill up here and make out with you all day we should bring your flowers back to the suite now so we’re not late to class,” she says, taking a step back.

Christen raises an eyebrow at Tobin, surprised. “Tobin Heath concerned about being late to class? Are you feeling okay?”

Tobin rolls her eyes and steps around her, bending down to pick up the sunflowers and roses. “I have French at 11. I have to be concerned about being late if I wanna keep playing,” she mutters.

Christen trails a hand across Tobin’s shoulders, walking past her to pick up the other two vases. “Good babe, I’m proud of you,” she says, picking up the vases carefully.

 

With ten minutes left in her last class of the day, Christen feels her phone buzz in her pocket. She slides it out and unlocks it, smiling as she reads a text from Tobin.

 

**Tobs:** You almost done class? I just got out early. Take a nap with me before practice? Soooooooooooo tired

**Christen:** That’s what you get for running around all night instead of sleeping! I’ll be out in a few, meet you back at the suite?

**Tobs:** Can’t wait

 

Class ends a few minutes later and Christen packs up quickly, rushing Alyssa along, who raises an eyebrow at her eagerness. “Where’s the fire Christen?” she jokes as Christen practically pushes her to the door. “Why are we in such a rush?”

“We only have like 2 hours until training and I wanted to take a nap,” Christen explains as she walks briskly out of the building.

Alyssa rushes to keep up with her. “A nap? Since when do you nap?”

Christen glances sideways at her, a blush creeping up her cheeks and grinning. “Since Tobin texted me saying she wants to take a nap before practice.”

Alyssa laughs, shaking her head at Christen’s answer.

When they get back in the suite, Christen deposits her shoes and backpack in her room, and quickly changes into shorts and a tshirt before heading into Tobin’s room. She smiles when she sees Tobin already curled up under the blankets, sound asleep. She quickly tip toes towards the bed, setting an alarm on her phone for an hour later as she goes. She pauses next to bed and smiles down at Tobin taking a moment to admire her girlfriend. She takes in her long, dark eyelashes splayed across her tanned skin and her pink lips, slightly parted as she sleeps. After a few moments she gently takes a hold of the blankets and pulls them back, trying to climb into the bed without disturbing Tobin.

Tobin stirs as Christen lies down next to her, her eyelids fluttering open, a small smile playing at her lips while she blinks slowly at Christen. “Hey baby, I missed you,” she whispers sleepily, scooting closer.

Christen grins widely at the pet name and adjusts, pulling Tobin into her arms. “Missed you too,” she whispers back, pressing a kiss to the top of Tobin’s head. Tobin just hums contentedly, and grips onto Christen’s t shirt, her head resting on Christen’s chest. Christen allows her hand to wander, trailing up Tobin’s arm and down her back. She can feel Tobin’s body relax and her breathing even out as she falls back asleep within minutes.

 

Later that night, after practice, Christen sits with most of the team at a table in the dining hall. The team is chattering excitedly about practice and the game next day, the last regular season home game where the seniors will be honored. Christen sits across from Tobin at the end of the table and is distracted from the rest of the team’s conversation when Tobin calls her name.

“So did you decide what you wanna do for Halloween?” Tobin grins, shoving a fry into her mouth.

Christen freezes, looking at Tobin with wide eyes. “Holy shit, Tobin, that party is tomorrow! We need to decide right now. We need to go to the store tonight! I should google what time the Party City closes. Hurry up and finish eating! What do you want to be? It’s too late to do anything that takes a lot of work, maybe we could-” Christen’s babbling is cut off by Tobin grabbing her hand across the table.

“Christen! Relax, we can go as soon as we’re done eating. We’ll find a costume, don’t worry about it okay?” Tobin reassures, rubbing her thumb over Christen’s knuckles soothingly.

Christen takes a deep breath, nodding and returning Tobin’s smile. Tobin laughs, pulling her hand back to continue eating.

After they finish dinner, Christen pulls Tobin away from their teammates, waving and rushing out an explanation over her shoulder as she pulls her towards the door.

They get to Party City 45 minutes before they close and start wandering up and down the aisles of costumes, trying to find something they like. When they still haven’t found anything with 20 minutes to spare, Tobin sighs and pulls her phone out. Christen watches her with a furrowed brow as she holds her phone up to her ear.

“Hey Harry, I need help,” she says into the phone. “What? No! Chris and I are at Party City and we need a Halloween costume asap. What were your ideas again?” Tobin says, looking up at the costumes in front of her. “Okay, hang on,” she says, pulling the phone from her ear. “Cop and criminal?” she asks Christen.

Christen wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. Tobin rolls her eyes and puts the phone back to her ear. “No, they’re all out of those. What else you got?” she says. “Hmm, hang on.”

“What about a firefighter and fire dog?” she asks Christen, who’s busy looking at the costumes hanging in front of her. She laughs at Tobin’s suggestion, grabbing a costume package off a hook and turning to show it to Tobin. “Sexy Dalmation?” she reads, raising an eyebrow and laughing before putting the phone back to her ear. “We got a winner Har, thanks for the help. I’ll call you tomorrow, love you, bye.”

Christen laughs as Tobin hangs up the phone. “Tobin, this costume is ridiculous,” she whines, looking at the women on the package striking a seductive poise in a tight black and white spotted dress.

Tobin inspects the package and grins at Christen. “Nah, it’s not ridiculous, you’re gunna look hot. Now come on, we need to get me a fire hat and an axe,” she says, grabbing Christen’s hand and pulling her down the aisle.

A few minutes later the pair walk back out into the parking lot, each holding a bag in one hand, their other hands joined between them.

“Crap,” Tobin says as she glances at the center console, starting her Jeep. 

“What?” Christen asks, looking up from buckling her seatbelt.

“I’m supposed to meet with my French tutor at 9 and we’re like fifteen minutes from campus,” Tobin groans, throwing the Jeep in reverse. She grabs her phone from the cup holder and unlocks it as she drives through the parking lot, holding it out to Christen. “Here, can you text her and tell her I’m gunna be like 10 or 15 minutes late? She’s in my phone as ‘French tutor’ I think.”

Christen takes the phone, shaking her head at Tobin. “Wow, that’s creative,” she remarks, scrolling through the contacts. “What’s her name?”

Tobin shrugs as she speeds up to go through a yellow light. “If I knew that she wouldn’t be in my phone as French tutor.”

Christen rolls her eyes as she types out the text. “Find out her name tonight, Tobs. Where are you meeting her?”

“Her room,” Tobin responds, glancing over at Christen briefly. “She lives in our building on the second floor.” 

“Well that’s good, you won’t be that late,” Christen nods, glancing down at Tobin’s phone when it buzzes in her hand. “She said no problem and that she’d see you then.”

Tobin nods, reaching out to turn the radio on before grabbing Christen’s hand and intertwining their fingers as she drives.

Once back at campus, Tobin follows Christen into the suite, grabbing her backpack from her room and dropping the bag from Party City on the floor. She grabs Christen and kisses her quickly on her way to the door. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Sleep in my bed tonight? I promise I’ll be there when you wake up,” Tobin grins as she pulls the door open.

“Okay, go learn some French,” she nods, shooing Tobin out the door.

Tobin laughs, popping her head back into the suite. “I’ll come back and teach you some French later,” she insinuates, shooting a wink at Christen before disappearing into the hallway, the door shutting behind her.

 

An hour later, Christen is at her desk, making Spanish flashcards and listening to Kelley whine about not wanting to study. She spins in her chair when she hears the door to the suite open, but has to hide her disappointment when Julie strolls past, popping her head in to say hi on the way to her room.

“Aw, you expecting someone else CP?” Kelley teases, hanging upside down half off her bed, a bowl of popcorn balanced precariously next to her.

Christen rolls her eyes at her, turning back to her flashcards. “All of your blood is gunna rush to your tiny little brain and you’re gunna pass out if stay like that,” she says flatly.

Kelley gasps and sits up, throwing a piece of popcorn at Christen and laughing when it hits her in the side of the head. “Don’t be mad at me just because your lover is late,” she sing songs, emphasizing the word lover.

Christen spins back around, grabbing the piece of popcorn off the floor and throwing it back at Kelley. “Ew, Kell. She’s not my ‘lover’,” Christen denies, making air quotes and moving towards Kelley to steal some popcorn.

Kelley swats her hand away, hugging the bowl of popcorn protectively. “This popcorn is reserved for lovers, sorry not sorry.”

“Give me some or I’m telling the whole team about your secret crush on Sylvia Neid,” Christen warns her hands on her hips.

“CP, that is not a secret crush,” Kelley responds, rolling her eyes. “She’s a catch for her age. She’s always dressed so nice like she’s meeting someone for brunch after the game.”

“Gross, you’re so fucking weird,” Christen teases, still trying to get some popcorn.

Kelley leans back hugging the bowl and puts her feet up to push Christen away. “Kiss my feet and I’ll give you some,” she laughs, waving her feet in front of Christen to block her access to the popcorn bowl.

“Never,” Christen declares, shoving Kelley’s legs aside and climbing onto the bed to wrestle the popcorn away from her.

Kelley holds the bowl as far away as she can with one hand and pushes at Christen with the other. “Christen, if you wanna be my lover just say so! You don’t have to climb all over me,” she laughs, as the two wrestle, popcorn spilling everywhere.

“Stop saying lover you freak!” Christen shouts, tickling Kelley’s sides and causing even more popcorn to spill.

“Stop denying that you want to be my lover CP!” Kelley gasps out, trying to swat her hands away. They both are laughing hysterically and still wrestling for the popcorn bowl, even though it’s now mostly empty and there's popcorn all over Kelley’s bed and the floor. Christen has just about gotten her hand into the popcorn bowl that Kelley is holding above her head when they both freeze, hearing laughter from the doorway.

“Am I, uh, interrupting something here?” Tobin laughs, her eyebrows raised in amusement.

Christen puffs air out, blowing a few strands of hair out of her eyes and smiles at Tobin sweetly. “Nope, Kelley was just gunna share some of her popcorn with me,” she says innocently, even though she’s half on top of Kelley and Kelley has her legs wrapped around her waist, the popcorn bowl up behind her head and her other hand shoving at Christen’s chest. They’re both panting with red faces from laughing and Christen’s hair has half fallen out of its bun.

“Right,” Tobin says, drawing the word out as she takes in the scene in front of her. “Was KO sharing her popcorn with the floor and her bed too?”

Kelley scoffs, releasing her legs from around Christen’s waist. “Christen is just mad because I said you were-” her words are cut off by Christen’s hand clamping over her mouth as she glares at her.

“Said I was what?” Tobin asks curiously as she walks further into the room.

Christen’s eyes widen as she tries to think fast. “Bad at soccer! She said you were bad at soccer,” she blurts out, pulling her hand away in disgust when Kelley starts licking it. “Ew Kell, gross,” she complains, wiping her hand on Kelley’s shirt. 

“Whatever, you liked it,” Kelley grins.

“So KO said I’m bad at soccer and that made you mad?” Tobin questions in a disbelieving tone, bending down to pick up some popcorn off the floor and popping it into her mouth.

“Tobs don’t eat the floor popcorn! I’ll make you more if you want some,” Christen commands, pushing up off of Kelley. She snatches the bowl of popcorn out of Kelley’s hands and holds it out to Tobin. “Better yet, here just eat Kell’s.”

“Hey!” Kelley protests, sitting up and pouting.

Tobin laughs, eating a few pieces of the popcorn before holding the bowl back out to Kelley. “It’s cool, I don’t want it. I’m gunna go get ready for bed,” she says, smiling at the two before leaving the room.

Christen finds herself outside of Tobin’s door a half hour later, after helping Kelley clean up the popcorn. She knocks lightly, pushing the door open. Tobin is lying in bed and she grins at Christen when she comes in, closing her bible and taking her glasses off, putting them both on the dresser next to her bed. “Hey babe,” she sighs, patting the bed next to her.

Christen clicks the light off and shuts the door, padding across the floor and climbing into Tobin’s bed. “Hi,” she breathes out, leaning over to peck Tobin on the lips. “How was tutoring? Did you learn a lot?” 

“Yeah, it was okay,” Tobin nods, stretching her arms out and scooting down in her bed. “Missed you though,” she says through a yawn, her eyes already half closed.

Christen smiles and leans forward to press another quick kiss to Tobin’s lips. “Missed you too. Night Tobs,” she whispers, adjusting her pillows until she’s comfortable. Tobin just hums in response, already half asleep, and wiggles closer to Christen’s side.

  

Thursday is rainy, putting a tiny damper on the senior night festivities. After a ceremony honoring their seniors with lots of flowers and tears and parents, the team returns to the locker room to get ready to take the field for the game. Christen is ready quickly and she sits by Tobin’s locker, watching her wrap tape around her right wrist. Once she’s done, she grabs a sharpie out of her locker, pulling the cap off with her teeth and writing on the tape.

“What do you write?” Christen asks curiously, craning her neck to get a peak.

Tobin shrugs putting the cap back on the sharpie. “Usually it’s something different every game. Just something to remind me that I’m playing for more than just me. Sometimes it’s dates, sometimes it’s bible verses, sometimes names or initials, sometimes words,” Tobin explains tossing the sharpie back into her locker.

“So what did you write tonight?” Christen asks.

Tobin holds her hand out to show Christen, the word ‘seniors’ scrawled on the inside of her wrist. “Tonight’s about the seniors,” she says simply. “Maybe next game I’ll write CP,” she grins, standing up and taking a swig of water.

The game is off to a quick start when Christen is able to get a shot off in the 6th minute that bounces off the bottom of the crossbar. The Florida State keeper is somehow able to snatch the ball out of the air and even though UNC is sure that the ball was over the goal line when the keeper grabbed it, the refs wave it off and the game continues scoreless. Finally, in the 38th minute, Tobin sends a cross in that ends up being on frame, requiring the keeper to punch it away. ARod, who had just subbed in seconds earlier, quickly controls the clearance and sends it low into the corner of the net before the keeper has a chance to react. The second half is a defensive battle and a few great saves by both keepers cause the game to end with a 1-0 win for the Tar Heels.

The locker room is loud and out of control after the game, full of sweaty hugs and loud music and screaming. The team dances around like crazy, celebrating the seniors and amped up about the Halloween party that night. They make plans to eat and pregame at Ali and Ashlyn’s, everyone excited to see each other’s costumes. 

Tobin stops Christen after she showers, and she immediately blushes about being in front of Tobin in a towel, even though she’s seen her naked. “Hey, part of my costume is at Cheney and ARod’s so I’ll meet you at Ali and Ashlyn’s, okay?” she asks, letting her eyes drift down Christen’s body.

Christen nods, honestly a little perplexed by Tobin’s costume. They’d only bought her a goofy fire extinguisher backpack that could spray water, a fake axe, and a fire hat at Party City, Tobin claiming that she had the other parts of the costume already.

  

Christen gets ready slowly, putting on the tight spotted dress and red choker, finishing the look with a headband with Dalmation ears placed into her meticulously curled hair. She slides into a pair of red heels and checks herself out in the mirror. She strolls into the living room where Emily and Kelley are sitting on the couch playing FIFA, having gotten dressed quickly. They both whistle and catcall when she walks over to sit in the chair and Christen blushes, shaking her head. She looks at the two of them with a furrowed brow. “What are you guys even supposed to be?” she questions. They’re both wearing khaki shorts, boat shoes, backwards snapbacks, and button down shirts, unbuttoned to reveal sports bras with Greek letters on them.

“We’re frat boys CP, c’mon,” Kelley rolls her eyes, gesturing at the letters on her chest.

“What frat is that supposed to be?” Christen questions.

“Delta Tau F,” Emily answers.

“F?” Christen raises one eyebrow.

“Apparently there is no F in the Greek alphabet so we had to use a regular F so we can be DTF,” Kelley explains, winking at Christen.

 

The group arrives at Ali and Ashlyn’s twenty minutes later and walk through the living room towards the kitchen, laughing at teammates’ costumes on the way. Christen spots Tobin leaning on the counter, holding a beer and laughing at something Ashlyn is saying. Christen freezes in the doorway and her breath catches in her throat, taking in her girlfriend’s costume. She’s wearing tight, ripped black jeans and Timberland’s, yellow reflective suspenders clipped to her jeans and a red sports bra, topped with the red fire hat over her naturally wavy locks. 

Tobin sips her beer and looks up, catching sight of Christen, still frozen in the doorway. She breaks into a grin at first but her jaw goes slack a bit as her eyes trail down Christen’s body in the tight dress. She’s broken out of her daze when Ashlyn grabs the nozzle of her fire extinguisher backpack and squirts water at her face. Tobin shakes her head and shoves Ashlyn before pushing off the counter and walking over to Christen. “Hey babe, you’re the hottest Dalmation I’ve ever seen,” she teases, reaching out to grab Christen’s hand.

“I think that’s the weirdest compliment I’ve ever received,” Christen giggles, allowing Tobin to lead her down the hallway. “Where are we going?”

Tobin opens a door and pulls Christen inside, closing it behind them. Christen looks around the small laundry room they’re standing in before turning back to Tobin, confused. Before she can even formulate a question, Tobin’s lips are on hers, kissing her senseless. She tastes like beer, which Christen hates but she wouldn’t dare pull away when Tobin does _that_ with her tongue. Tobin pulls back after a few moments, breathing heavily and grins. “Just needed to do that real quick. We can go back and get you something to eat and drink now,” she quips, grabbing Christen’s hand and leading her back to the kitchen.

 

An hour later, the team is standing around in front of the house, waiting for Ubers. Tobin, who enjoyed quite a few beers already, is swinging her axe wildly and judging some sort of one handed push up contest that Kelley and Emily are engaged in, living up to their costumes without much effort.

Christen finally wrangles the 3 of them into the Uber, and spends most of the ride to the party trying to stop Tobin from drinking from the nozzle of the fire extinguisher on her back.

“It’s water babe, I’m thirsty,” Tobin whines after the third time.

“It’s dirty water from a dirty plastic toy on your back,” Christen admonishes her. “We can get you a drink when we get there in a minute.”

“Fine,” Tobin groans, deciding to amuse herself with letting her hand trail patterns up and down Christen’s bare thigh to the hem of her short dress, driving her crazy.

Christen is relieved when they pull up to a house with people milling about on the lawn in various costumes. Tobin gets out first, turning to hold a hand out and help Christen out. They walk to the front door and inside, immediately hit with blaring music, the smell of weed and beer in the air. Tobin grabs Christen’s hand tightly and pushes through the bodies, leading the way until they find the kitchen. Kelley and Emily follow closely, Kelley carrying a case of beer and Emily a handle of vodka. Tobin opts for a beer and Christen is somehow roped into taking a shot of vodka with Kelley. Julie and Alyssa walk in a few minutes later and Julie immediately complains about missing the shot, making them all take another round.

Christen loses count of how many shots she’s taken when Tobin, who’s been particularly handsy all night, leans in to talk in her ear over the music. “Let’s go dance,” she requests. Christen nods and waits while Tobin finishes her beer, leaving the empty can on the counter. She puts her hands on Christen’s hips and spins her around, walking behind her and directing her out of the kitchen towards the music.

They push their way into a blacklit room where people are dancing and a loud hip hop song that Christen doesn’t recognize is playing. Tobin’s hands tighten on Christen’s waist as she pulls her closer and starts dancing, Christen’s back pressed up against Tobin. Christen is honestly a little surprised by Tobin’s ability to dance, her hips moving perfectly with the rhythm. Tobin’s hands wander as they dance and by the third song Christen feels like her skin is on fire and she’s not sure how much longer she’s going to be able to keep this up.

When ‘Sex With Me’ by Rihanna comes on, Tobin leans in, nipping at Christen’s earlobe. “Should we go somewhere?” she whisper shouts in Christen’s ear, sending chills down her spine. Christen spins around, nodding when she see’s the desire in Tobin’s expression. Tobin grabs her hand and leads her to a roped off staircase. Tobin holds the rope up and gestures for Christen to go first, following behind her closely.

They wander a bit upstairs, unfamiliar with the house, but eventually Tobin’s hand on her lower back and the kisses they keep stealing are too much and also not enough for Christen, and she pulls open a door, revealing a bathroom. Tobin follows Christen into the bathroom and turns to close the door, locking it while Christen’s hands trail over her exposed and slightly sweaty abs.

Tobin spins around, her eyes dark and hooded with desire in a way that’s almost intimidating. She crashes their lips together, her hands trailing down Christen’s back to pull her flush to Tobin’s body. Her hands drift lower as she licks her way into Christen’s mouth, massaging her ass and wandering to the bottom of Christen’s dress.

After a few moments she backs Christen up to the double sink vanity along one wall and surprises her by grabbing her ass and lifting her into the air, putting her down on the counter between the two sinks as she kisses and bites along her jawline. 

Christen instinctually wraps her legs around Tobin, hooking her ankles behind her to keep her close. Tobin nips and sucks at her pulse point, her hands trailing up her thighs, pushing her dress up as she goes.

Christen puts her palms flat on the counter and pushes up so her dress can slide up to her waist, revealing a black lacy thong that Tobin groans upon seeing. Christen grabs Tobin’s suspenders, pulling her back in to a kiss, simultaneously using her legs to pull Tobin closer. Their tongues fight for dominance and Tobin cups Christen’s face with one hand, her other hand drifting up the inside of her thigh, brushing over her panties until Christen has to pull away from the kiss, panting, her hips pushing out to search for more pressure than Tobin is providing. 

Tobin just continues kissing Christen’s neck, still frustratingly brushing her fingers up the soft skin of Christen’s inner thighs and over her lace covered core. After the third or fourth pass she finally pauses, pushing the panties to the side and dipping a finger into Christen. Christen throws her head back, banging it on the medicine cabinet behind her but she hardly feels it as Tobin adds a second finger, slowly working them in and out of Christen.

Tobin brings their mouths together again, muffling Christen’s moans as she increases the pace of her fingers, building to a steady rhythm. Christen has her hands on Tobin’s shoulders, trying to keep herself grounded. She pulls back, breathing heavy as she feels herself getting close. 

“Fuck Tobin, don’t stop,” she whines out when Tobin curls her fingers and brushes her thumb over Christen’s clit. Tobin licks along Christen’s jawline, nipping at the end of it and thrusting her fingers in and out of Christen, again curling them and rubbing her thumb over her clit. Christen lets out a moan and tightens her legs around Tobin’s waist, her nails digging into Tobin’s shoulders as she orgasms around Tobin’s fingers. Tobin slows the pace, helping Christen come down before removing her hand altogether and bringing Christen into a heated kiss. 

After a few moments she unhooks Christen’s ankles behind her back and surprises Christen by dropping to her knees in front of her, her hands flat on Christen’s thighs. She looks up at Christen as if asking permission and Christen just nods, leaning back on her hands on the counter.

Tobin reaches up to pull Christen’s panties down, carefully pulling them over her heels and tucking them into her pocket. She trails her hands back up Christen’s legs from her ankles, running them up to her hips and around to her ass, grabbing at it and pulling Christen closer to the edge of the counter. She positions herself between Christen’s legs, one hand grabbing her ass and the other at Christen’s hip. She turns her head and kisses the inside of Christen’s thigh tenderly once before looking up at her again.

“This okay?” she rasps out, the fire hat still sitting crooked on her head. Christen nods, plucking the hat off her head and putting it on her own head. 

Tobin grins and turns her head again, this time nipping the inside of her thigh before soothing it with her tongue. She continues this, alternating thighs, pausing to use her hands to spread Christen’s legs wider.

Christen leans her head back against the medicine cabinet her eyes closed in anticipation of what’s to come as she feels Tobin’s breath ghost over her core. And then- nothing. She opens her eyes to look at Tobin, who’s grinning up at her from between her legs.

“Don’t close your eyes babe,” she requests, keeping eye contact as her tongue darts out and she slowly runs it over Christen’s folds.

“Oh fuck,” Christen moans out as Tobin laps her tongue against her again. Tobin grabs Christen’s hips, holding her steady as she dips her tongue into her. 

“You taste so good,” she mumbles, her muffled voice sending vibrations through Christen’s core. She flicks her tongue over Christen’s clit a few times before dipping it into her again and Christen threads one of her hands into Tobin’s hair, trying to pull her closer.

Tobin pushes the flat of her teeth against Christen’s clit before sucking it gently. “Oh god, Tobin, yes,” Christen groans, her eyes screwed shut.

Tobin slips a finger into Christen, curling it with each thrust as she flicks her tongue over Christen’s clit. Christen’s hand tightens in Tobin’s hair, wordless cries falling from her lips as Tobin pushes her to the edge. Tobin adds a second finger and swirls her tongue around Christen’s clit before sucking it hard as Christen tightens around her fingers, letting out a string of moans and incomprehensible words as she orgasms a second time. Tobin pulls her fingers out slowly, running her tongue over Christen a few more times, before pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of her thigh and standing up.

Christen sighs, putting her hands on Tobin’s shoulders as she works to get her breathing back under control, her heart still racing. “That was,” she trails off for a moment. “Wow,” she continues, running her hands over Tobin’s shoulders and down to her biceps.

“You’re wow,” Tobin responds, leaning in to kiss Christen. Christen can taste herself on Tobin’s lips and for some reason finds that incredibly hot. Before the kiss can get too heated, they’re startled apart by a loud banging on the bathroom door.

“Hey! Upstairs is off limits,” a male voice calls through the door loudly. Christen looks at Tobin with wide eyes but she just laughs and gently helps Christen down from the counter, waiting while she straightens out her dress.

She grabs her hand and leads her to the door, pulling it open to reveal a tall muscular guy in a toga. “Sorry dude, we got lost,” Tobin shrugs, pulling Christen down the hallway.

“Hey wait! Uh it’s definitely not off limits for hot girls! Wait! What were you doing in there?” the guy yells after them as Tobin leads Christen down the stairs to rejoin the party, laughing the whole way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long, I was away for almost a week. Forgive me?  
> Also it's really late and I'm kinda exhausted so I didn't do much editing lol I didn't wanna wait till tomorrow to post though  
> Thanks for reading, lemme know what you think! <3


	25. I've got you

Tobin leads Christen through the party after their foray in the upstairs bathroom, saying hi and stopping to talk to people that they pass along the way. Christen is amazed by the way that Tobin seems to know everybody. They finally end up in the basement of the house, where the music is a little less loud. “We got next,” Tobin exclaims, pulling Christen towards a beer pong table.

Christen tugs back on Tobin’s hand, shaking her head. “Tobin, no. I don’t even drink beer,” she protests, eyeing the guys gathered around the table.

“I’ll drink it,” Tobin shrugs, not looking back at Christen. Before Christen can protest further, Tobin is engaged in conversation with some guy dressed as a pirate. Christen stands awkwardly next to her, looking around to see if she can find anyone she knows.

“I love dogs,” a voice next to her says and she turns to find a guy dressed as a Chippendale’s dancer smiling at her. She smiles politely at him and nods, still looking around the room.

“Are you looking for someone?” the guy asks, stepping closer.

Christen shakes her head, wishing he would take the hint that she’s not interested.

“I’m Nate,” he says, sipping his beer.

“Christen,” she replies shortly, glancing at Tobin for help but she’s laughing at something the pirate is showing her on his phone, not paying any attention to her.

“Are you a freshman Christen?” Nate asks, smiling charmingly at her.

Christen looks back at Tobin again but she’s still laughing with the pirate so she gives up, deciding to make the most of the situation and turning back to Nate. “Yeah, how about you?”

“Junior. How are you liking UNC so far?”

“I like it a lot! I’ve been so busy, I feel like it hasn’t even sunk in yet that I’m here!” Christen exclaims.

Nate nods, laughing. “Hey, this is my third year and I’m still not sure if it’s sunk in. Are you thirsty? Can I get you a drink?”

Christen opens her mouth to answer but is cut off before she can say anything. “We’re good,” Tobin answers for her, a bite in her tone as she puts her hand on Christen’s lower back and gently steers her towards the beer pong table. “Ready to play?” she asks Christen.

Christen throws an apologetic smile back at Nate, before turning to Tobin. “Yeah, but I seriously am not drinking any beer so I hope you’re thirsty.”

Two games of beer pong later, Tobin stumbles back, seeming to lose her balance while just standing there and Christen has to put a hand on her back to steady her. “Hey, you okay?” she asks, studying Tobin with concern. 

Tobin just nods, her jaw clenched and a look of determination on her face as she flicks the ping pong ball through the air, sinking it in the last cup. Tobin stumbles again and turns to Christen with a smirk, but her eyes are glazed and unfocused and Christen realizes just how drunk she really is. “Tobs, lets go get you some water. We should probably go anyway, we have class in the morning,” Christen says, guiding Tobin towards the stairs with a hand on her back.

Tobin stumbles along next to Christen, leaning heavily on her with an arm thrown over her shoulders as she babbles in her ear about how they dominated at beer pong. They stop in the kitchen first but Christen gives up on getting Tobin water when she can’t even find a clean cup. She leads Tobin towards the front door instead, keeping an eye out for teammates as she goes. She’s shocked to see Kelley making out with Emily in the next room and she’s left even more confused when they pull apart, laughing, and hold their hands out to collect money from a group of frat boys. “Kell!” she yells over the music, pointing to the door when Kelley looks up.

Kelley nods and pockets her money, pulling Emily to her feet and laughing as they almost fall over. Christen leads Tobin outside and pulls her phone out to order an Uber. She spends the ten minutes while they wait for the Uber holding Tobin’s hair and rubbing her back while she throws up all the beer she had drank.

When the Uber arrives, it takes Christen five minutes to assure the driver that no one is going to throw up in his car. Tobin sits on the curb with her head in her hands and even Christen has to admit that she doesn’t look very convincing, but he finally relents and the four friends pile into the car, Kelley claiming shotgun.

Once back at the suite, Kelley and Emily head into the kitchen to make mac and cheese and Christen leads Tobin to bathroom to help her get ready for bed. She gets ready for bed herself and convinces Tobin to drink a bottle of water before helping her climb into bed. She’s asleep before Christen even has the chance to turn off the light and get into bed herself.

 

Christen wakes up to her alarm blaring and quickly silences it, grabbing her head in reaction to the sound. She slowly opens her eyes, trying to assess how hung over she is. She’s a little nauseous and her head hurts but overall she feels okay.

She sits up, rubbing at her eyes and looks over at Tobin. She’s still passed out and Christen feels a little guilty when she realizes that she’s wrapped up and warm but Tobin has none of the blankets and is shivering. She quickly untangles herself from the covers and drapes them over Tobin before grabbing her phone to turn the alarm off so it doesn’t start blaring again in a few minutes. She has to resist the urge to cheer when, by some miracle, she has an email from their English professor, canceling class for the day. It’s her only class on Fridays, but she knows that Tobin has French at 11 so she sets her alarm for 10am and rolls over, cuddling close to Tobin to go back to sleep.

The second time her alarm goes off, she wakes up feeling a lot better and does her best to wake up a very grumpy Tobin and convince her to get ready for class.

“I’m not going Chris, I don’t even care,” Tobin argues, her voice muffled by the blankets that she has pulled up over her nose, her eyes still squeezed shut.

“Fine Tobin, fail French and go on academic probation and fuck with your chances of playing soccer. Then maybe you’ll get kicked out of school and we’ll never see each other, all because you wanted to get a little bit of extra sleep.”

Tobin tugs the blankets down with an exaggerated groan. “You’re being dramatic.” 

“You’re being lazy,” Christen retorts.

Tobin opens her eyes but winces at the light, shutting them again. “Hung over, not lazy,” she complains, rubbing at her temples.

“Get up and get dressed and I’ll get you some water and Tylenol,” Christen bargains, sliding out of bed. She takes a couple Advil herself, washing them down with tap water before grabbing the bottle of liquid Tylenol for Tobin. She returns to find Tobin sitting up in bed but still not dressed. She holds out the bottles of water and Tylenol to her, sitting down on the bed next to her. Tobin opens the Tylenol and takes a large swig of it without measuring. 

“Tobin!” Christen exclaims, watching her in disbelief.

“Shh, not so loud,” Tobin pleads.

Christen just shakes her head and gets up to get clothes out for Tobin.

Tobin watches her with a furrowed brow, sipping water. “So did I like suck last night?” she finally asks, picking at the label on the water bottle.

“What do you mean?” Christen asks, sitting back down on the bed.

“I guess I kinda blacked out after we played beer pong so did I suck? Like did I say or do anything stupid? Are we okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re okay. You honestly didn’t say much. You did throw up in the bushes but it was no big deal.”

Tobin groans, running a hand through her hair. “Sorry about that. I guess beer pong wasn’t the best idea.”

“Don’t worry about it Tobs. But seriously you gotta get up and get dressed or you’ll be late,” Christen prods, nudging Tobin out of bed.

  

After practice on Friday the team is in the locker room when Ashlyn climbs on a chair and whistles loudly, gaining everyone’s attention. “Good news guys! Whit’s boyfriend’s uncle has been running that haunted trails place, you know the one up in Youngsville? It’s got haunted trails and a haunted hayride and stuff. Anyway, he got us some VIP passes and we’re all going tonight so everyone kiss Whit and tell her you love her and then go put on your boots and flannels and get your PSLs and lets go get the shit scared out of us!” she announces to the cheers of her teammates before taking a bow and hopping down from her chair. The team all mob Whitney, smacking kisses on her cheeks and screaming out declarations of love but Tobin hangs back, laughing as she packs up her bag. 

Tobin dribbles around the locker room, nutmegging teammates as they leave, while she waits for Christen. Christen swings her backpack onto her back and turns away from her locker, rolling her eyes when she nearly trips over a soccer ball as it rolls through her legs. Tobin laughs, apparently finding the whole thing hilarious as she skips to retrieve the ball from under a chair. “Wow Tobin, so impressive. You’re so talented,” Christen says in a monotone voice, walking towards the door. 

Tobin grins widely, walking over to her. “Thanks, I know,” she laughs, pulling the door open.

They start the walk back to the suite in silence but once they’re out of the soccer building, Tobin grabs her hand. “Hey, so did you want to go to that dumb haunted thing Ash was talking about?” 

Christen looks at Tobin suspiciously, but Tobin keeps her gaze forward. “I mean, yeah Tobs, the whole team is going. Why? You don’t wanna go?”

Tobin shrugs, kicking at a rock as they walk. “I don't care, it's just that walking around in the woods sounds like a good way to like break your leg or something right before the ACC tourney starts.”

Christen fights back a grin as she studies Tobin’s profile. “Babe, are you scared?”

Tobin looks up at Christen, her eyes ablaze as she shakes her head furiously. “No! I’m just saying,” she trails off looking back down at the ground.

Christen feels a tug in her chest, finding Tobin utterly adorable and she tugs on her hand to pull her closer, sliding her arm around her shoulders. “Tobs, don’t worry. No one is going to break a leg. And I’ll stay with you the whole time and protect you from all the ghosts and monsters, okay?”

Tobin shrugs out from under her arm as they reach the door to their building. “I don’t need protecting, Christen. I am NOT scared,” she denies vehemently.

  

“I’m scared,” Tobin whispers in Christen’s ear, clutching to her arm so tight that it’s almost painful as they follow behind Ashlyn and Ali through the pitch-black woods.

Christen wraps an arm around Tobin, keeping her close as they walk slowly down the dirt path. “It’s okay, I’m gunna stay with you the whole time,” she whispers back.

“This is stupid. We should have stayed home and watched a movie,” Tobin whines fifteen minutes later, slightly out of breath from screaming every time someone jumps out at them.

Christen doesn’t have a chance to answer because a masked man wielding a chainsaw is suddenly in front of them and Tobin is yelping, practically climbing into Christen’s arms.

“Tobin, relax,” Christen soothes after they make it past chainsaw man. “You’re gunna hyperventilate.”

Tobin shakes her head, panting with her face hidden in Christen’s shoulder, clinging to her so tightly that it’s hard to walk. “This is stupid,” she repeats, her voice higher than normal and borderline hysterical. “Are we almost to the end?” 

Christen reflexively tightens her arms around Tobin as someone pops up from the leaves next to the path, screeching at them. She normally would be screaming along with Tobin and grabbing onto friends but something about the way Tobin is clinging to her so desperately has her feeling braver. “I think so. Just close your eyes and breathe okay? I’ve got you.”

By the time they reach the end of the trail, joining their group of teammates, Christen is sure she’s going to have bruises from how tight Tobin has been holding onto her and Tobin is still trembling in her arms.

“Wow Heath,” Ashlyn starts, laughing, but she doesn’t finish the statement and her laugh is cut short when Christen fixes her with a glare and Ali punches her shoulder. “Uh, so who’s ready for the haunted hayride?” she exclaims, clapping her hands together. “I heard it’s just as scary as the trail was.”

The team all readily agrees but Christen speaks up, holding Tobin tight. “Sorry guys, I'm gunna pass. I have to pee and I’m so thirsty so I’m gunna find the bathroom and go buy something to drink. Tobin, you’ll come with me right?” she asks.

Tobin nods, straightening up a bit. “Uh yeah, okay,” she says, her voice a bit shaky.

Christen smiles at her before looking back at the team. “We’ll catch up with you guys later. Just text us,” she says, waving them off towards the line for the hayride.

Her and Tobin wander in the opposite direction, towards the concessions. “I think the bathroom is over there Chris,” Tobin says, pointing to their left.

Christen shakes her head, continuing towards the stand selling various drinks and carnival food. “I don’t really have to go. I just didn’t want to do the hayride,” she laughs, getting on line. “I am thirsty though.”

Tobin kicks at the dirt, her cheeks red and her bottom lip between her teeth. “You coulda gone on the hayride Chris. You didn’t have to make up an excuse to stay with me cuz I’m lame,” she says softly, looking down at her Timberlands.

Christen puts a finger under her chin and tilts her head up so she can look into her eyes. “First of all, you’re not lame babe. Second of all, I didn’t make up an excuse. I really am thirsty. And third of all, I would much rather share a hot chocolate and hang out with you than go sit in some hay on a bumpy ride through the woods while listening to our teammates scream their heads off,” she finishes with a smile, pleased that Tobin returns it. 

“You’re the best,” Tobin smiles, leaning forward to peck her on the lips before pulling her wallet out and turning to order them a hot chocolate and a funnel cake.

They find a bench and sit down together, passing the hot chocolate between them and pulling off pieces of funnel cake, laughing and joking around as they people watch. When they’re done, Tobin stands up and throws away their trash, brushing her hands off on her jeans and walking back over to Christen. “Wanna do the corn maze? It’s not haunted,” she laughs, holding a hand out to Christen.

Christen nods, taking Tobin’s hand and walking towards the corn maze with her. They wander through the deserted corn maze together, holding hands, neither feeling any rush to find the exit. They turn down a dead end but Tobin pulls on Christen’s hand, stopping her from turning back the way they came. “Thanks for getting me through that trail and hanging with me now. I’m so lucky you’re mine and I really like you a lot,” she grins, pulling Christen close and putting her hands on her waist.

“I really like you a lot too,” Christen grins back at Tobin, lacing her hands behind Tobin’s neck under her soft, wavy locks. Tobin leans in and kisses Christen, her movements unrushed and borderline lazy. Tobin tastes like chocolate and powdered sugar and faintly like peppermint from her chap stick, and the combination is intoxicating. They kiss for a long time, neither of them making any moves to deepen or end the kiss until they hear the voices of another group of people moving closer and they pull apart with goofy grins on their faces.

Tobin intertwines their fingers again and they walk slowly through the maze, talking about anything and everything. The fall air is chilly but Tobin’s hand is so warm and Christen doesn’t even notice the cold when Tobin grins at her, insisting that they go left instead of right. By the time they make it out of the maze, both of them still sporting huge smiles on their faces, the rest of the team is waiting for them, breathlessly recounting the hayride.

“You missed out CP! That shit was wild,” Kelley exclaims, nudging Christen. Christen laughs and looks over at Tobin walking next to her, their hands still joined between them. She shakes her head, watching Tobin throw her head back to laugh at something ARod said, before turning back to Kelley.

“No, I don’t think I missed out at all,” she replies, squeezing Tobin’s warm hand with her own.

 

The week after the haunted trails passes by in a blur of soccer for the team. The ACC tournament quarterfinals start on Sunday at home and UNC beats Virginia 3-0 on a goal from Syd, assisted by Christen, and a brace for ARod. Christen’s parents fly in to watch and the following Friday the team plays Notre Dame in South Carolina, beating them 2-1 with goals from Christen and ARod. Two days later they play Florida State in the ACC tournament championship game.

Before warm ups, Christen sits on the chair in front of her locker, trying to control her breathing, her eyes squeezed shut as she works on visualizations and her knee bouncing nervously.

“Hey,” a familiar voice, that’s quickly become her favorite, pulls her from her thoughts. She opens her eyes and looks up into Tobin’s eyes, and they’re bright and wide and shining just for her, a concerned expression etched on Tobin’s features. “C’mere,” Tobin requests, holding a hand out to her. Christen puts her hand in Tobin’s, allowing her to pull her into a tight hug. “You’re nervous,” Tobin says quietly, holding her close and rubbing her back.

“Yeah,” Christen sighs, her face buried in Tobin’s neck so she can breathe in her comforting scent. 

Tobin holds her for a moment longer before pulling back, grabbing Christen’s hand instead. “It’s just soccer. We beat them like two weeks ago and we can do it again. Do you trust me?”

Christen looks into Tobin’s eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity and she nods.

“Then you don’t worry about this game, okay? You’re gunna play great. You let me worry about it and you just focus on being your amazing self out there. I’m gunna take care of it and make sure we get that trophy. I promise,” Tobin grins confidently. 

Christen takes a deep breath and allows a small smile to find it’s way onto her face. “Okay,” she whispers, nodding.

“Okay,” Tobin confirms, grinning. She brings Christen’s hand up to her mouth and kisses it, squeezing it once before dropping it and returning to her own locker to pull her cleats on.

Christen still feels the usual jitters when they take the field but Tobin’s words seem to have a calming effect on her and she focuses in as the whistle blows.

Seven minutes into the game Syd puts home a header on a long ball from Cheney but before they even have a chance to celebrate, the whistle is blowing, calling the goal offsides. After this the game devolves into a defensive battle of the most frustrating kind. Neither team is getting many chances and the game is getting a bit chippy as frustrations build. The half ends 0-0 and the team heads to the locker room for a much needed pep talk.

As they walk back out to the field for the second half, Tobin grabs Christen’s arm to get her attention. “Hey, it’s okay, we got this. I got this,” she reassures, sending her a cocky grin before jogging over to her position. 

Christen truly believes her, but Tobin is wrong. The team dominates possession and gets more chances on goal the second half but they aren’t able to finish any. Christen hits the post once and ARod hits the crossbar, and it kinda feels like the universe is conspiring against them when Tobin sends in a rocket that twangs off the corner where the post and crossbar meet and somehow deflects out for a goal kick instead of rebounding into the 18 where several UNC players are waiting. Still though, Christen trusts Tobin and feels like she’ll win it for them as they move into overtime. Florida State dominates the overtime periods, getting three good shots on goal to UNC’s one, but Ashlyn keeps them in the game with some great saves. It’s not until the whistle blows signaling the end of overtime that Christen starts to doubt Tobin’s promise. 

The team is exhausted and drenched in sweat, and some are a little beat up from the highly physical game. Christen watches with mild concern as the trainers force some electrolytes into Tobin, who looks like she’ll need to be carried off the pitch, but she’s honestly too exhausted herself to be more worried about it. Anson starts walking around, letting them know the order of the penalty kicks as they sip water and Gatorade.

Christen watches Anson with his clipboard as he picks the order. Cheney is to shoot first followed by ARod, Tobin, and Syd. Christen is surprised when Anson stops in front of her. “Pressy, you’ll shoot fifth,” he says simply, clicking his pen and looking around at the team. Christen tries not to panic as she sits there sipping her water. _They probably wont even need me to kick_ , she tries to reassure herself, hoping that they’ll be able to win it in four.

Cheney steps up to the spot and buries it easily, remaining cool and calm the whole time. Florida State also scores on their first kick. ARod shoots next, scoring easily, but Florida State scores again as well.

Tobin steps up third, shooting a grin and a wink Christen’s way before walking towards the spot, limping a little bit but looking confident as ever as she lines up her shot and pushes fly away hairs out of her face. The ball sails off her right foot, seemingly destined for the back of the net, when the Florida State keeper guesses correctly and dives to her right, punching the ball away. Tobin freezes for a second before turning back to the team and jogging toward them with no emotion on her face. She stands towards the edge of a group and few teammates pat her back or offer words of encouragement but she doesn’t respond, instead just staring blankly as she watches the Florida State player sink her shot. 

Sydney shoots next, firing a rocket into the net that the keeper has no chance on. Florida State scores as well and before she knows it Christen finds herself walking up to the spot and putting the ball down. She takes a deep breath and a few steps back. As soon as her foot hits the ball she knows it’s over and she can do nothing but watch helplessly as it sails over the crossbar. She turns back to her team and walks towards them slowly, devastated while Florida State celebrates behind her.

She kind of feels like she’s in a daze as she accepts hugs from teammates before they head back to the locker room dejectedly, but Tobin doesn’t offer a hug or say a word to her, instead walking ahead of the group, her head down. Anson talks for a long time in the locker room and Christen keeps trying to catch Tobin’s eye but Tobin is just staring at Anson with no emotion on her face the whole time. 

Christen sheds a few tears in her parents arms in the parking lot. She reluctantly hugs them both goodbye and wipes her tears with the sleeve of her warm up jacket before boarding the bus back to UNC with her team. She’s one of the last on the bus but finds her row empty and quickly starts scanning the bus for Tobin. She spots her towards the back, her legs stretched over two seats and her headphones on with her eyes closed. Christen moves to go to Tobin but a hand on her arm stops her and she looks down to see Cheney. “It’s probably better to give her a little space Chris,” Cheney says softly. “Do you want me to sit with you instead?”

Christen shakes her head, her eyes flashing back to Tobin. “No, it’s okay. Thanks anyway.” She sits down in her row alone, putting her headphones in as she allows a few more tears to trail down her face.

Christen falls into a restless sleep until she opens her eyes to see Kelley in the seat next to her. _Tobin’s seat_ , she thinks, rubbing her eyes and checking her phone to see that she slept for two hours and they’re about halfway back to UNC. “You doing okay?” Kelley asks, looking over at her when she notices her stirring. 

Christen nods slowly, but she’s honestly not really sure if she is. Kelley must sense this because she doesn’t say anything and instead just pulls Christen into a long hug. “It’ll be okay CP, we still have the NCAA tournament and we’ll take that one home. No one blames you. We love you and we’re just gunna have to dominate and take home the big trophy instead. Plus the NCAA trophy is like way cooler. Way better bragging rights too. And it’s gunna be ours so who even cares about the ACC. We can always just win that next year, no big deal,” Kelley babbles on, still holding Christen. She pulls back and smiles at Christen. “Stay here,” she commands, getting up and heading back to her row.

Christen leans into the aisle to glance back at Tobin but she’s still sitting in the exact same position, her eyes still closed. She sits back into her seat when Kelley reappears with her hands behind her back. She smiles widely and presents Christen with a container of protein chocolate milk that she must have had in her bag. Christen can’t help but laugh, shaking her head as she accepts it from Kelley. “Are you kidding me?” she laughs.

Kelley laughs as well, settling into the seat next to Christen. “It’s our thing, roomie. Chocolate milk fixes everything. That’s my only one though so you gotta share.” 

Christen feels a surge of affection for her roommate as she opens the chocolate milk and takes a sip, passing it to Kelley. The rest of the trip passes quickly as they finish the chocolate milk and watch Netflix on Kelley’s phone. The bus stops about 45 minutes from campus so the team can grab a quick dinner and everyone is quiet and subdued, exhausted and still upset from their loss. Tobin sits at the opposite end of the table from Christen and ignores everyone, returning to her row at the back of the bus after dinner. 

When they pull back on campus, Kelley moves back to her row and Christen moves into the aisle seat, glancing back at Tobin. She’s staring out the window blankly and Christen chews her bottom lip, trying to decide if she should say something or not.

She lingers in her seat as the team gets off the bus, but Tobin walks past her without so much as a glance in her direction. Once off the bus, Tobin grabs her things and heads back to the suite, not bothering to wait for any of her roommates. Cheney stops Christen before she heads back with Kelley, JJ and Alyssa and asks if they can talk and Christen nods, waving on her roommates to head back without her.

“What’s up?” she asks Cheney with a questioning look.

“Hang on one sec Pressy, let me just make sure everyone has their stuff and a way to get home. Could you hang out for a minute?” Cheney asks distractedly.

Christen nods and waits patiently, watching Cheney talk to various teammates and coaches before handing her bags to ARod and walking back over to Christen. “Do you wanna take a walk and go get coffee? You can put your stuff in my car.”

“Sure,” Christen concedes, following Cheney to her car and just grabbing her wallet and phone from her bag.

The walk to get coffee is quiet at first until Cheney speaks up. “Are you doing okay? I know today was a tough loss and I just wanted to make sure you’re alright,” she says gently, glancing sideways at Christen.

Christen considers for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I think so. It sucks and I feel really terrible but I guess I’m okay,” she answers honestly. 

“Good. You know it’s not your fault, right? Everyone misses sometimes. We probably would not have even been in that game if it wasn’t for you. You’ve been on fire this whole season and I know you’re gunna be huge for us in the NCAA tourney. No one blames you. Plus, even if you had scored, Florida could have scored their fifth PK as well and we still would have lost. Don’t let this game affect your confidence, okay? Because we need you to be confident next weekend,” Cheney finishes, smiling warmly.

Christen smiles back, nodding, as they walk up to order their coffees. Cheney sits down on a bench on their way back, patting the spot next to her. Christen sits down, sipping her coffee. “Okay, checking in with you wasn’t the only reason I wanted to get coffee. I also wanted to talk to you about Tobin because I’ve known her for almost ten years and maybe I can help you out.”

Christen looks at Cheney curiously, waiting for her to continue. She takes a long sip of her coffee before looking at Christen and smiling sympathetically. “She’s probably gunna be a mess you know,” Cheney says casually.

“Don’t you think I should go check on her then?” Christen asks, suddenly concerned about Tobin being all alone and hurting.

Cheney tilts her head from side to side, indecisively. “Sometimes she needs a little space. She really doesn’t deal well with losing and she’s got a bit of a temper. I’m sure she blames herself and in the past she’s always reacted with anger and stupid, impulsive decisions. But, in the past she hasn’t had you so honestly I’m not sure how she’s going to be this time. We can start walking back in a few minutes I guess I just wanted to warn you a little,” Cheney says getting up and starting to walk before continuing. “Tobin has a bad habit of lashing out at the people she cares about when things don’t go her way, so try not to take it too personally if she says something stupid. I mean I’m not saying like let her off the hook or don’t hold her accountable for anything she says, but just know that she’s said or done some pretty cruel things when she’s been upset like this,” Cheney warns as they walk towards the parking lot where her car is.

“So what should I do?” Christen questions, worried about facing Tobin.

Cheney doesn’t answer right away, popping her trunk to get Christen’s bags. “It’s hard to say. Sometimes she needs a little tough love and sometimes she needs someone to just be there for her. You know her better than you think and she cares about you so much, so I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You can always call ARod or me if you need back up but I trust you,” she says simply, pulling Christen into a hug before slamming her trunk shut and climbing into her car. “See you tomorrow Pressy,” she waves, closing her door and pulling away.

Christen takes her time getting back to the suite, walking past Kelley and Alyssa playing FIFA in the living room and dropping her stuff in her room before heading down the hallway towards Tobin’s room. She pushes the door open cautiously and flicks the light on but the room is empty, Tobin’s bags thrown carelessly on the floor. She turns the light back off, sighing as she leaves the room. She pops her head into Julie and Alyssa’s room where Julie is sitting on the floor, unpacking and sorting her laundry.

“Hey Jules, any idea where Tobin is?”

Julie glances up at Christen, shaking her head. “She stormed out of here right after we got back. She slammed the door so hard I thought it was gunna break.” 

“Okay thanks,” Christen nods, heading to her own room and pulling on a hoodie before walking back out of the suite. She’s half way down the stairs when she realizes that she has no idea where Tobin is. She wracks her brain but Tobin is such a disappearing act and is so unpredictable that she really could be anywhere. She pulls out her phone to call her but decides to check a few places first, not really thinking about where she’s going until her feet carry her through the parking lot and down the sidewalk towards Fetzer Field.

She’s still pretty far away but the track lights are on and she can see a single figure on the field, taking penalty kicks on the far goal. Christen stops outside the gate and watches for a few minutes as Tobin sinks penalty kick after penalty kick. She sighs, shoving her hands in the front pocket of her sweatshirt and slowly making her way down to the field.

She clears her throat as she gets closer, but Tobin doesn’t look up, instead taking another ball out of the ball bag next to her and sinking another PK. Christen clears her throat again, standing at the top of the 18.

“What do you want Press?” Tobin spits, lining up another shot without looking back at her.

Christen flinches at her tone, fumbling for a response and cursing herself for not thinking about what to say before hand. “Can I take one?”

Tobin laughs humorlessly and lines up her own shot, watching it laser into the goal before turning back to Christen with a sneer on her face. “Honestly Press, I don’t really feel like jogging to get the ball when you sky it so maybe it’s better if you don’t.” 

“Well I guess you’re just lucky there’s no keeper here to save your shots. A lot easier on an empty net, huh?” she retorts, crossing her arms. 

Tobin falters for a moment and hurt flashes across her face, making Christen regret her words, but she quickly fades back into indifference. “Did you need something?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay, but maybe I should have just left you alone,” Christen frowns, trying not to let her anger get the better of her.

“Yeah maybe you should have. I don’t need you checking on me. I can take care of myself. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. And why wouldn’t I be okay? That was a stupid fucking game and it shouldn’t have gone to extra time or penalty kicks. You should have scored that goal in the first half,” she accuses, pointing a finger at Christen with narrowed eyes.

Christen scoffs, thinking back on the chance that she knows Tobin is talking about. “Your cross sucked Tobin, it was way over my head,” she argues. 

“Whatever Press. It’s not my fault you couldn’t finish any of your chances in regulation or overtime. Maybe that club coach that cut you had the right idea after all,” she snaps. Almost as soon as the words leave her mouth she turns back to Christen, wide eyed with regret. “Fuck,” she mutters, reading the shock and hurt in Christen’s expression. “Chris, I-” she starts, taking a step towards Christen.

“Don’t,” Christen chokes out, putting her hand up and taking a step back. “Why do you have to fuck everything up every time we’re starting to be okay?” she asks rhetorically, feeling tears fall down her cheeks for the second time that day.

Tobin surprises her by dropping to the grass, sitting with her knees bent in front of her. She rests her elbows on knees and puts her hands over her face, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” she mutters through her hands, her voice strangled in a way that makes it hard to understand.

Christen sighs, thinking back to her conversation with Cheney and stands rooted to the spot, watching Tobin’s shoulders shake. She weighs her options for a moment before taking a deep breath and wiping her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. She walks over to Tobin and sits down next to her, gently laying a hand on her back that causes Tobin to tense up. “Tobin,” she says softly, running her hand up and down Tobin’s back over her t shirt. “Look at me.”

Tobin slowly drops her hands and turns her head to look at Christen, her eyes wide and filled with tears, her cheeks red, and her bottom lip trembling. Her expression alone melts away any residual anger that Christen was harboring. “Babe,” she sighs, opening her arms. “Come here.”

Tobin scoots closer and turns, basically climbing into Christen’s lap, dropping her head to Christen’s shoulder and clinging to her tightly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said that and I’m sorry I fuck everything up and I’m sorry I let you down and missed and didn’t win us the game like I promised,” she sobs, her voice muffled by Christen’s sweatshirt.

Christen holds her and runs a hand up and down her back soothingly. “Oh baby, no. You didn’t let me down. It’s not your fault we didn’t win. You worked so hard today and I’m so proud of you even though we lost. It’s gunna be okay, I-” Christen cuts herself off, her eyes widening as she realizes the next words out of her mouth were almost ‘I love you’. “I’ve got you,” she says instead, continuing to run her hand over Tobin’s back as she cries. _Do I love Tobin?_ she wonders. She’s only known her for three months and they’ve only technically been dating for almost two weeks and that seems way too soon to love someone. She shakes her head, pushing the thoughts to the side and focusing on the girl in her arms. 

“I don’t feel good,” Tobin sniffles against her shoulder. She does feel hot and sweaty in her arms and Christen’s brow furrows as she holds Tobin closer. 

“Do you feel sick?” she asks, concerned.

Tobin shakes her head, clinging to Christen even tighter. “No, not sick. Just like tired. And a little dizzy. I have a headache,” she mumbles.

“You’re probably so dehydrated babe. You played a hundred and twenty minutes today and I know you were cramping up by the end of over time, I saw the trainers giving you electrolytes.” 

Tobin nods, her breathing still a little ragged. “Can we just go home? I just wanna go to bed.”

“Yeah, just sit here and I’ll put the balls away,” she says, dropping her arms from around Tobin. Tobin hesitates for a moment but eventually sighs and detaches herself from Christen, wiping at her face with her hands and watching as Christen gathers up the balls from inside the net. She grabs Tobin’s keys and phone from beside the post, and brings the ball up to the equipment room, locking it behind her and jogging back to the field where Tobin still sits right where she left her. 

“Come on, lets go home,” she says, holding a hand out to help Tobin to her feet. They start walking across the field and Christen watches Tobin, a little concerned that she won’t make it back to the suite by how shaky and unsteady she seems. They go slowly but Tobin makes it, collapsing into her bed as soon as they get into her room.

“I don’t feel good,” she whines, her eyes squeezed shut and her face pale.

“I’m gunna get you something to drink, I’ll be right back,” Christen says, heading to the kitchen and returning with a Gatorade and a water. “Drink this,” she requests, holding the Gatorade out to Tobin. Tobin takes it from her and twists the top off, chugging the entire thing and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She hands the empty bottle back to Christen and lies down, patting the bed next to her. 

“Lie with me for a little,” she pouts and Christen couldn’t say no even if she wanted to, so she climbs into the bed as well. She doesn’t realize that she fell asleep until she wakes up, still snuggled into Tobin’s arms. She tries to fall back to sleep but her mind starts drifting to her to do list and she realizes she still needs to unpack and do laundry and get her school stuff ready for tomorrow. She must be fidgeting because Tobin stirs behind her.

“Stop moving and sleep,” she mumbles against Christen’s neck, tightening her arms around her.

Christen sighs loudly. “I can’t. I need to unpack,” she whispers.

Tobin groans and releases Christen from her arms, rolling onto her back.

“We should probably talk too,” Christen says softly turning over to face Tobin. Tobin opens her eyes and turns her head to look at Christen warily.

“About what I said?” she asks quietly.

Christen nods, reaching out to brush a few strands of hair off Tobin’s forehead. “About the game and the bus ride and dinner and what you said,” she confirms. 

“I didn’t mean it. I just was pissed and I don’t know why I said that but I don’t think that. I promise,” she says, her eyes wide and pleading.

“Yeah Tobs, I know. I didn’t mean what I said either. But we both didn’t convert our PKs and we both were upset, but instead of being there for me and letting me be there for you, you pushed me away,” Christen says softly, her fingers lightly tracing patterns on Tobin’s forearm. Tobin is quiet, her eyes downcast to watch Christen’s fingers on her arm. “Look Tobin, I know this is still new and maybe I won’t always know the right things to say or do to make you feel better but at least let me try. I get it if you want some space and that’s totally okay too, but you could tell me that instead of ignoring me and lashing out at me when I try to be there for you,” Christen continues when Tobin makes no move to respond. “We need to do a better job at talking to each other and telling each other what we want or need.” 

Tobin’s eyes flick up to Christen before quickly darting back down to her hand on her arm. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry,” she pouts. Christen nods, leaning forward to press a kiss to Tobin’s cheek.

“Me too. We’re okay though. We’ll just do better in the future, alright?” she smiles, pressing another kiss to Tobin’s cheek and giggling when Tobin turns her head, trying to capture her lips with her own.

Tobin grins against her lips before sitting up. “Alright, come on. I know you’re not gunna be able to sleep until we do all the things on your to do list so let’s get up and get moving.”

Christen stays lying there for a minute, watching Tobin let out a yawn and stretch her arms out before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Tobin turns back to her with a questioning look but Christen just reaches her arms out to her. “Let’s just lay here for a few more minutes,” she requests, giving her best puppy dog eyes. Tobin laughs and scoots back up onto the bed, gathering Christen in her arms and peppering her face with kisses until her to do list is the furthest thing from her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how's everyone doing? Surviving the drama that is the football world recently? Hmu on tumblr if you wanna whine about it lol anyways, thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated as always <3


	26. I love this part

Christen is startled awake by someone shaking her shoulder. “Tobin? What? What’s wrong?” she asks, squinting up at Tobin.

Tobin shakes her head quickly, her smile shining in the dimly lit room. “Nothing. Get up. Pick up game in 20 minutes,” she exclaims, practically trembling with excitement.

Christen frees her arms from the blankets and sits up, glancing at her phone. “Pick up game? Tobin, it’s 2 in the morning,” she mutters, confused.

Tobin nods, tugging at the blankets impatiently. “I know. Do you need to change?”

Christen looks down at her outfit, an oversized long sleeve t shirt and a pair of soft boxer shorts that she had swiped from Tobin’s pajama drawer. She looks back up at Tobin who grins back her. “Stupid question,” she laughs. “Let’s go,” she urges, pulling on Christen’s hand.

Christen allows herself to be pulled out of bed and guided to her own room. “Go change. I’ll make you coffee,” Tobin demands, gently pushing her into her room and turning to head towards the kitchen.

Christen sleepily gets dressed, sliding her feet into her sneakers but also grabbing her bag with her cleats. She wanders into the kitchen, squinting under the bright fluorescent lights, and Tobin presses a travel mug into her hands and a chaste kiss to her lips.

The cold air shocks Christen fully awake when they step out of the door into the parking lot. She shivers and instinctually steps closer to Tobin, their arms brushing as they walk. Tobin quickly laces their fingers together, her hand warm in Christen’s cold one. She can feel Tobin’s eyes on her as they walk and she finally turns her head to look back at her. “What?” she asks with a furrowed brow.

Tobin shakes her head, grinning. “Nothing. You’re cute when you’re all sleepy and confused,” she explains, lifting their joined hands to kiss the back of Christen’s. “I hope we’re on the same team,” she muses, as they walk through the parking lot.

It takes Christen a moment to understand what Tobin means as her brain catches up and she remembers that they’re on their way to a pick up game. For some reason she starts feeling the anxiety that she usually only gets before an important game and her heart rate picks up. She slows down, tugging back on Tobin’s hand. “Tobin, you were so dehydrated I was afraid you wouldn’t make it up the stairs a few hours ago. I don’t think this is a good idea. You just played a full game and overtime today.”

Tobin just smiles, pulling on Christen’s hand and glancing back at her, her eyes dark and shining under the parking lot lights. “Babe,” she draws out with a laugh. “Technically that was yesterday and I haven’t played any soccer yet today.”

Christen stops, her anxiety picking up to the point that she can’t make herself take another step towards the field. “Tobin, no, I’m serious,” she insists, suddenly on the verge of tears. “I don’t wanna play.”

Tobin stops and fully turns to her, confusion and concern written on her face. “Hey,” she says softly, stepping closer to Christen. “What’s wrong?”

Christen shakes her head and looks away, swallowing hard and blinking back tears. “I just don’t want to play Tobin,” she whispers.

“Why not?” Tobin questions, bringing her hand up and brushing a thumb under Christen’s eye to wipe away a single tear.

“Because,” Christen chokes out, finding herself unable to continue. Instead she steps closer to Tobin and wraps her arms around her neck, a bit awkwardly with a travel mug in one of her hands and a backpack on Tobin’s back. She drops her face to Tobin’s shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent and allowing herself to be comforted by Tobin’s warmth. Tobin wraps her arms around Christen as well, sliding her hands under her backpack to rub her back through her sweatshirt.

“It’s okay baby. I-I’ve got you,” Tobin soothes, confusion still evident in her tone. She’s quiet after that, just rubbing Christen’s back and holding her tight. After a few minutes, Christen’s breathing and heart rate have evened out and she feels calmer. She lifts her head and pulls back a little, still keeping her arms draped over Tobin’s shoulders.

“I’m scared,” she admits, looking over Tobin’s shoulder towards the field.

“Scared of what?” she asks, tilting her head as she studies Christen’s face.

Christen sighs, dragging her gaze from the field to look into Tobin’s eyes. They’re wide and soft, and Tobin’s brow is furrowed, her head still tilted while she waits for Christen’s response. “Maybe scared isn’t the right word,” she starts, shaking her head. “I’m anxious to play after what happened today,” she answers honestly.

Tobin chews her bottom lip, looking at Christen thoughtfully. She takes a deep breath and her eyes flit away, focused on something over Christen’s shoulder. Her hands fiddle idly with the straps of Christen’s backpack. “Is it because of what I said at the field?” she asks quietly, still not meeting Christen’s eyes.

Christen shakes her head, mentally willing Tobin to look back at her. “No, not really. I just- I let the team down today. I don’t really want to face everyone. I don’t know if I can play.”

Tobin looks back to Christen, her expression softening. “You didn’t let anyone down babe. I promised you I’d take care of it and I didn’t. You did your job, I didn’t do mine,” she sighs, a sad expression on her face.

Christen shakes her head. “No, you were great Tobs. But how can you want to play right now? We lost the championship today and you still want to play soccer?” 

Tobin nods slowly, “well yeah, that’s exactly why I want to play. Because we lost today and it sucked and I need to remind myself that it’s okay and that I still love soccer. So we’re gonna go lace up our boots and we’re gonna play a stupid meaningless pick up game on the field we’re not even supposed to be on, in the middle of the night, with our exhausted teammates, even though we all have class in the morning. And we’re gonna have fun and we’re gonna all feel okay again. And after this game our most recent memory on a soccer field will be a happy one again. Okay? No pressure, no fans, no coaches, and no stupid penalty kicks. It’s just for fun, babe. If we go and in twenty minutes you still don’t wanna play, you and I can go home and we can just cuddle and go to sleep. How’s that sound?” she asks, her eyes bright and staring into Christen’s expectantly. 

Christen considers for a moment and then nods. “Yeah, alright. That sounds okay,” she concedes, unable to keep the smile off her face when Tobin grins at her.

“Okay,” Tobin says happily, leaning forward to peck her on the lips before stepping back and grabbing her hand again, leading the way towards the field.

 

Christen feels a little better but she can’t deny the anxiety she feels sitting on the sideline and tying her cleats. They split into teams and Christen is relieved to be on the same side as Tobin who pats her butt playfully as she jogs out to the wing. Christen smiles at the gesture but even her smile feels forced as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, nervous for the game to start even though it’s just a friendly game between her own teammates.

She feels stiff and awkward for the first few minutes and the one time the ball comes her way in the first minute or so of the game, her first touch betrays her and it bounces wildly off her foot. Tobin yells a time out, forcing the game to stop much to everyone’s confusion. She jogs over to Christen, stopping right in front of her. “Sorry,” Christen mumbles, referring to her poor first touch.

Tobin shakes her head, smiling. “Don’t be sorry. Look at me,” she demands, waiting til Christen looks up to continue. “You’re in here too much,” she says softly, tapping a finger to Christen’s temple. “Play from here,” she continues, tapping the same finger on Christen’s chest, over her heart. “You’re thinking too much. Just let the game come to you. Stop trying to force it. You know what you’re doing and you’re where you belong and you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. So stop worrying about messing up and just let yourself play. If you play more from here,” she says, tapping her finger on Christen’s chest before moving it up to her temple again. “And less from here, you’ll be the best player on this pitch. Okay? You know what you’re doing just let yourself play,” she finishes with a grin, backpedaling towards the sideline. She flicks the ball up on the way, bouncing it on her foot as she moves towards the wing. “Okay, time in,” she yells, kicking the ball back towards Alyssa.

Christen is still for a moment, thinking about Tobin’s words. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to clear her mind. She opens them just in time to see Alyssa kicking the ball hard in her direction and she feels like she can see the field in total clarity. She knows where the ball is heading and she can see the runs her teammates are going to make and she takes off towards the ball, trapping it with her chest before letting it drop to her foot. She takes Tobin’s advice and instead of running through all the possible scenarios of what she could do and what she should do and what could go wrong, she just lets herself play. She cuts the ball hard towards the center of the field and streaks past Ali, before launching the ball from just outside the 18 and watching it sail past Ashlyn’s outstretched hands and into the upper 90. She turns around, laughing as Tobin grabs her spinning her. “See!? I told you! Look at you! That was magic!” Tobin yells excitedly, putting her back onto her feet. Christen just grins and nods as they jog back across the field together.

The rest of the pick up game kinda does feel like magic to Christen. She realizes that there’s no expectations and no pressure and she plays with a freedom that has been lacking in her game for a long time. It’s the most fun she’s ever had on a soccer field and she has no idea if her team is winning or losing. The entire team had started the game grumbling about being awake and still salty about their loss, but after a while, everyone is laughing and smiling. They don’t keep score and they don’t keep track of time and eventually the game has dissolved into a bunch of overtired, giggling soccer players, showing off and acting silly.

By the time the group stumbles back to the suite together, sweaty and giddy and worn out, they only have a few hours until they need to wake up for class. Christen knows she’s going to be absolutely exhausted the next day, but at the same time she knows that she wouldn’t trade the last few hours for anything.

 

The team is set to face Liberty at home in the first round of the NCAA tournament the following Saturday. Christen, for the first time since before high school, finds herself looking forward to the game all week. She’s not sure whether it was Tobin’s words, or the pick up game, or a long talk she’d had with Anson after practice on Monday, or some combination of the three, that changed her outlook and instilled confidence in her game, but she doesn’t question it. Tobin seems giddy about the game as well, ready to prove herself again after the missed penalty kick the week before.

As they line up to start the game on the brisk and sunny Saturday afternoon, Christen pulls her sleeves over her chilly hands and jumps up and down a few times to keep her legs warm. She looks around, waiting for the game to start, and her eyes drift over to the left flank. Tobin is looking back at her, grinning as she pushes fly away hairs back. She taps her chest with a finger a couple times and winks at Christen, sending her a silent reminder to not get so caught up in her head during the game. Christen nods, her attention snapping forward as the ref blows the whistle, starting the game. 

The first few minutes are dominated by Liberty and they are able to get a couple shots off but by the tenth minute, the Heels have retaken control and settled into the game and Liberty don’t get another shot for the entire game, in comparison to UNC’s 28 shots. Christen gets 5 shots, 3 of which are on frame and one of which ends in the first goal of the game, on an assist from Tobin. Tobin and ARod also both score and the game ends 3-0 in UNC’s favor. 

Ali and Ashlyn throw a party Saturday night to celebrate the win and Christen and Julie get ready together in the suite. Tobin offers to drive, promising not to drink, and the roommates head over to the house, getting there early enough to get first picks on the pizza. Christen drinks a few Smirnoff Ice’s and bounces around the party talking to different teammates. She’s standing in the kitchen making plans with ARod to get their nails done when a pair of tanned arms wrap around her waist from behind. 

“Hi,” Tobin mumbles, brushing a kiss against her cheek before resting her chin on Christen’s shoulder.

“Hey babe,” Christen hums, leaning back into Tobin.

“I’m gunna go find Cheney. Chris text me if you want to go tomorrow,” ARod says, smiling at the two before grabbing her drink and leaving them alone in the kitchen.

“Where are you going with my friend tomorrow?” Tobin murmurs, turning her head to kiss Christen’s neck.

Christen laughs and tries to turn but Tobin tightens her grip on her waist. “She's my friend too and we’re just going to get our nails done,” she explains, tilting her head a bit to give Tobin better access to her neck.

Tobin hums against her skin, the vibration sending shivers down her spine. “So do you think we should ditch this lame party and go do something fun?” Tobin asks, her voice soft and low.

“Mm, what did you have in mind?” Christen asks, her heart rate already speeding up thanks to Tobin’s lips on her neck. 

“Well,” Tobin starts pressing an open mouth kiss under Christen’s ear as if to punctuate the word. “JJ’s boyfriend is picking her up, KO is sleeping in Moe and Sonnett’s room, and I convinced Alyssa to crash here on the couch,” she explains, loosening her arms so Christen can turn and face her.

“How did you manage all that?”

“I have my ways. But really KO and JJ already had those plans. And I told Lyss that I was tired and that you and I were gunna head back but that she should just crash here and she agreed. So it was pretty easy,” Tobin grins, clearly proud of herself.

“Do you wanna go now?” Christen asks, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

Tobin nods and takes a step back. “Yeah, I just needa say bye to Cheney and ARod. Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, yeah. I just need to get my coat. Wanna meet by the front door?” Christen asks, taking the final sip of her Smirnoff Ice and placing the empty bottle onto the counter.

A few minutes later, Christen is making the rounds saying goodnight to teammates when she spots Tobin waiting by the door, leaning against the wall coolly and spinning her keys on their lanyard.

She sends a final wave at her teammates and walks towards Tobin who straightens up and grins at her. “You ready?” she asks, pulling the door open.

Christen nods, following Tobin through the door and to her Jeep. The drive home is quiet apart from low music coming from the radio and Tobin’s quiet humming along, and Christen feels her nerves starting to return. “So uh, what do you wanna do when we get home?” she asks, studying Tobin’s profile as she drives.

Tobin grins, her eyes flashing to Christen quickly before looking back to the road. “Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’m a little bit hungry so probably gonna wanna eat something,” she says, shooting a wink at Christen as she stops at a stop sign.

Christen’s eyes widen at the implication and she lets out a nervous laugh. Tobin must pick up on her nerves because she reaches over the center console and takes Christen’s hand in her own as she stops at a red light. “We can do whatever you want babe. It’s still early,” she says, and Christen is surprised when she looks at the dashboard and sees that it’s only half past nine. “We can watch a movie or just relax or whatever. I don’t care I just wanted you to myself,” Tobin continues, smiling at Christen, before looking back at the road.

“A movie sounds good,” Christen responds, her nerves settling when Tobin squeezes her hand and nods.

“Let’s stop there and get snacks,” Tobin suggests, pointing their joined hands at a Walgreens up ahead on their right.

They wander up and down the candy and grocery aisles of the drug store, stocking up on a seriously unnecessary amount of snacks before heading back to Tobin’s Jeep to drive the rest of the way back to their dorm.

Once back in the suite, Tobin looks for a movie on her laptop while Christen unloads their bags of snacks. “I don’t know babe. What do you wanna watch?” Tobin calls out from the living room. Christen wanders in with a package of Oreos in one hand and a container of Talenti gelato in the other.

“Hmm, Batman?” she asks, setting the snacks down on the coffee table and turning to head back to the kitchen for spoons and drinks.

“Batman?” Tobin glances up from her computer. “Which one?”

“Oh, I don’t care. I love the whole trilogy. Which ever one is your favorite,” she calls out, grabbing bottles of water and spoons. She puts them on the coffee table and goes into her room to change into comfy clothes and grab a blanket off her bed. When she returns to the living room Tobin is sprawled on the couch eating sour patch watermelon as the opening credits play on the TV.

“Which did you pick?” she asks, settling next to Tobin and draping the blanket over their laps.

“Dark Knight,” Tobin replies through a mouthful of candy.

“Oh thank god,” Christen sighs. “I would have judged you so hard if you said Batman Begins was your favorite.”

Tobin laughs, popping another sour patch into her mouth. “Nah, Dark Knight is my favorite then Dark Knight Rises then Batman Begins.”

“Me too!” Christen exclaims giddily, leaning over to steal a kiss. “I knew I liked you for a reason Heath,” she laughs reaching forward to grab the gelato and a spoon before wiggling closer to Tobin as the movie begins.

About 15 minutes into the movie Tobin tosses the almost empty bag of sour patch onto the table and wraps her arm around Christen, pulling her closer. Christen puts down the gelato and snuggles into Tobin’s side.

She focuses back in on the movie but Tobin’s hand on her side starts to wander, pushing up her t shirt and tracing patterns on her ribs before drifting down to toy with the waistband of her sweatpants. Christen glances up at Tobin but she’s staring straight ahead at the TV. Her skin feels hot where Tobin’s hand is and Tobin looks cool as can be, a faint smirk playing on her lips. Christen suddenly wants to see her flustered as well. She looks back to the movie but casually brings her hand over to Tobin’s leg, resting it just above her knee. She very slowly inches it higher up Tobin’s thigh, her gaze focused on the movie.

Tobin doesn’t respond much, but she does get a bit more daring with her hand on Christen’s skin under her t shirt, letting it drift along the skin just above the waistband of her sweatpants. Christen inches her hand even higher, sliding it towards the inside of Tobin’s leg. She smiles to herself about her success when Tobin shifts her position, her hand faltering a bit on her side.

Christen knows this is a dangerous game they’re playing but she doesn’t want to stop. She leans up, her lips ghosting over the shell of Tobin’s ear. “I love this part,” she whispers, not even sure what part of the movie they’re up to. Tobin shivers and Christen squeezes her hand on her upper thigh, smirking about the effect she’s having.

However, her smirk drops when Tobin pulls her hand out from under her shirt and wraps her fingers around her wrist, not moving it, just holding it in place. Christen looks up at Tobin, finding her staring back at her, her eyes dark and her expression unreadable. 

Christen swallows hard, the movie forgotten in the background. Tobin releases her wrist and instead pushes the blanket to the floor and grabs at Christen’s hips, pulling her until she gives in and swings a leg over to straddle Tobin’s lap. Tobin rewards her compliance with a quick kiss to the lips but she quickly pulls away and leans back, her arms spread along the top of the couch. Christen looks at her with a questioning look, not really sure what she’s supposed to do next.

Tobin smirks back at her and cocks one eyebrow, but doesn’t move. Christen takes it as a challenge and she’s never been one to back down from a challenge. She sits back on Tobin’s legs and grabs the hem of her t shirt, pulling it over her head in one swift motion and dropping it to the floor along with the discarded blanket. Tobin’s eyes rake over Christen’s bare torso appreciatively but she doesn’t move and her expression remains composed, frustrating Christen.

Tobin is still wearing her clothes from the party, jeans and a soft and flowy long sleeve shirt, and Christen reaches down to grab at the hem of her shirt. Tobin lifts her arms and leans forward a little, making it easier for her to pull the shirt up over her head. Her breath catches in her throat when she drops the shirt behind her and looks back at Tobin, who is not wearing a sports bra for once. Instead she has on a simple black bra, that isn’t over the top sexy or risqué, but it’s unexpected and Christen gapes for a few minutes while Tobin resumes her position with her arms across the back of the couch and a smirk on her face.

Christen takes a deep breath and tries to channel some of Tobin’s confidence into her own actions. She pulls her hair out of it’s bun, shaking out her curls and slipping the hair tie onto her wrist. She pulls it over one shoulder and leans in to leave a few open mouth kisses on the column of Tobin’s neck. She kisses up to her jaw and nips at it gently before pulling back to gauge Tobin’s reaction. Tobin stares back at her, some mixture of arousal and amusement on her face, and her arms still spread coolly but her hands are gripping the back of the couch tightly. Christen reaches her own arms out and grabs Tobin’s wrists, pulling her hands off the couch and placing them on her hips instead.

Tobin doesn’t resist but she also doesn’t respond much instead just keeping her hands lightly resting on Christen’s hips. Christen leans in to kiss Tobin, who kisses her back lazily, letting her have complete control over the kiss. It’s new to Christen, who’s become accustomed to Tobin taking control after a few seconds, and she’s definitely enjoying the rush that being in control is giving her even though she’s a little unsure of what to do next.

They make out for a while until Christen pulls back to breath and leans down to kiss Tobin’s neck instead. She’s a little stuck, not sure how to proceed and Tobin must sense her hesitation because she squeezes her hips once and pulls back a little. Christen leans back and looks at Tobin, a questioning expression on her face. “What do you want?” Tobin asks, her voice low and breathy.

“Do you-” she starts, swallowing hard. “Do you want me to return the favor?” 

Tobin’s brow furrows in confusion and Christen feels a blush creeping over her face. “What do you mean?”

“Uh, like return the favor? Like because you’ve given me what? Like 3 or 4 orgasms but I haven’t really done anything for you? So do you, um, want me to return the favor?” Christen stutters over her words, not meeting Tobin’s eyes.

Tobin starts to laugh and Christen feels herself blush even more, completely embarrassed by the situation. “Babe, hey, look at me. It’s okay,” Tobin reassures, her eyes wide and sincere. “I’m sorry I laughed. I just wasn’t expecting that. I just haven’t wanted to push you to do anything you aren’t ready for. Don’t worry I’m not keeping track and expecting you to ‘return the favor’. Of course, I’m not gonna complain if you wanna but really it’s okay, I like making you feel good,” she finishes with a grin. 

Christen nods, still embarrassed but mostly relieved. Tobin lightly massages her hands on Christen’s hips and looks up at her. “What do you want next babe? It’s okay. Do you want me to touch you? Do you want to touch me? Whatever you want is okay and that’s what we’ll do. You just tell me what you want,” she says, smiling at Christen reassuringly.

Christen takes a deep breath and nods. “I-” she starts, clearing her throat before continuing. “I want to take this off of you,” she whispers, still a little unsure, gently tugging on one of Tobin’s bra straps.

“Okay, so do it,” Tobin says lowly, biting her bottom lip and leaning forward off the couch. Christen reaches her hands behind Tobin’s back and unclasps her bra, only fumbling a little bit. She slides the straps off Tobin’s shoulders and pulls them down her arms, revealing her bare chest. Christen drops the bra onto the floor and brings her hands to Tobin’s chest, lightly palming her breasts. She regains some confidence when Tobin’s hands grip tighter on her hips. She massages Tobin’s breasts, toying with her nipples, and leans in to connect her lips with Tobin’s neck.

Tobin slides her hands around to Christen’s back, slipping them under the waistband of her sweatpants, and letting out a small groan as she grabs her ass. “Are you seriously not wearing underwear?” she rasps, massaging Christen’s ass.

Christen smiles against Tobin’s neck and tweaks one of her nipples in response, listening to Tobin’s sharp intake of breath. She trails one hand down Tobin’s stomach, fiddling with the button of her jeans. She brings her lips back up to Tobin’s, and the kiss is a little sloppy and a lot needy, and before Christen really realizes what she’s doing, she’s popped out the button of Tobin jeans and her fingers slowly make work of the zipper. Tobin pulls back, panting, and looks down in between them, where Christen is still tugging at the zipper.

“Can I?” Christen trails off, following Tobin’s gaze.

Tobin nods enthusiastically, taking her hands off of Christen to push down unsuccessfully on the waist of her jeans. Christen lets out a breathy laugh at Tobin’s efforts and slides backwards off of her lap so Tobin can lift her hips and make removing her jeans easier. She helps Tobin tug them off, and Tobin kicks her feet to discard the jeans on the floor before Christen climbs back onto her lap and reconnects their lips.

Tobin’s hands don’t wander as much as usual, content to slip back under the waistband of her sweatpants and grip her ass while letting Christen keep control. Christen’s hands however, wander even more than usual, unaccustomed to, and honestly a little overwhelmed, by the amount of hot bare skin she has access to. It’s a little bit of a role reversal the way Tobin sits there, almost complacently, while Christen’s hands can't seem to settle anywhere for more than a few seconds at a time.

Eventually, Tobin pulls away from Christen’s lips, panting with her eyes squeezed shut. “Chris,” she breathes out, her voice needy. “Stop teasing me,” she whines, her head thrown back and her lips red and swollen.

Christen’s eyes widen, having been unaware that she had been teasing Tobin. “What should I do?” she whispers, biting down on her lip at how hot Tobin looks.

Tobin’s eyes open at the question and she gently takes one of Christen’s hands, dragging it down her body to the waistband of her panties before releasing it and reconnecting their lips, letting Christen have the control once again. Christen hesitates for a moment but Tobin nips at her bottom lip and it’s all the encouragement she needs to let her hand drift lower, dipping under the waistband of Tobin’s underwear. They both pull back, Tobin letting out a low whine at the contact while Christen gasps at how wet she finds Tobin.

She hesitates again, unsure what to do next and tries to think about what Tobin would do if the positions were reversed. Tobin pushes her hips up against Christen’s hand, seeking more than what Christen is giving her. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know what I’m doing,” she admits in a whisper.

Tobin shakes her head, her eyes barely open. “It doesn’t matter. You’re so fucking hot, you could do whatever you want and I’m still gonna fall apart,” she rasps out, her breathing ragged.

It gives Christen the confidence she needs to be a little more daring and she leans up, tugging down Tobin’s panties before bringing her hand back to her core. She tries to imitate what Tobin has done to her, dipping a finger into Tobin while her thumb seeks contact with her clit. It’s a little sloppy and the angle is pretty awkward, making her wrist sore quickly, but Tobin’s head is thrown back in pleasure, breathy moans entwined with her name and profanities tumbling from her lips, and it’s enough to encourage Christen to continue, forgetting her insecurities and the dull ache in her wrist. She’s not really sure how much time has passed before Tobin’s entire body tenses, trembling before sinking back into the couch, her hand wrapping around Christen’s wrist to stop her from continuing.

Tobin pulls her hand up, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist before releasing it, still breathing heavily and her body still slightly trembling. Christen sinks into her, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck and pressing their bodies as close together as she can. “Was that okay?” she whispers after a few minutes, running her hands through Tobin’s hair.

“Amazing,” Tobin mutters, her lips against Christen’s shoulder. “Everything you do is amazing.”

Christen smiles, content to just stay like this but Tobin surprises her by grabbing the back of her thighs, standing up off the couch with Christen in her arms. She quickly wraps her legs around Tobin’s waist, her arms tightening over Tobin’s shoulders as she steps awkwardly over the discarded clothes and blanket, walking towards Christen’s room.

She puts her down onto her bed, a wicked smile on her face and spends the rest of the night proving just how amazing she thinks Christen is.

  

Christen wakes up naked and wrapped up in Tobin’s arms, just a sheet draped over them. She slides out of Tobin’s arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead and telling her to go back to sleep, before sliding on her sweatpants off the floor and a t shirt from the pile of clean laundry on her desk chair.

She wanders into the kitchen, stretching out her deliciously sore muscles and letting out a yawn. She’s surprised to see Kelley sitting at the counter picking at a bagel, a shit eating grin on her face. “Well, well, well CP,” she drawls, her eyes alight with mischief. “You have some ‘splaining to do.”

Christen reaches over the counter to swipe Kelley’s Starbucks cup, taking a big swig before smiling innocently at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about Kell,” she says sweetly.

“Oh shut up! You totally fucked on the couch last night,” Kelley accuses, throwing a balled up napkin at Christen. 

Christen catches the napkin as her eyes widen at Kelley’s loud voice and she glances in the direction of her bedroom before looking back at her. “Shut up, Kelley,” she hisses, throwing the napkin back at her.

Kelley just shrugs and points at a brown paper bag on the counter. “Grab a bagel and spill the deets.”

Christen sighs, but she complies, sharing the spark notes version of the night before with her eager roommate, but vehemently denying that anything beyond kissing happened on the couch, regardless of the fact that her shirt and Tobin’s clothes are still casually discarded on the living room floor.

  

A couple of days later, Christen is laying on her stomach on Tobin’s bed after practice, her syllabi and planner open in front of her as she plans out when to study for her finals. Tobin is attempting ridiculous tricks with a skills ball in the small floor space next to her bed. When the ball flies past Christen’s head, nearly hitting her for a third time, she looks up, glaring at Tobin who grins back at her sheepishly. “Tobs, why don’t you go play outside. I’ll be done in like a half an hour and I’ll come find you so we can do something fun,” she suggests.

Tobin shrugs, retrieving her ball and heading towards the door. “KO! I bet I can kick this ball from the top of the stairs, bounce it off the wall, and land it in a garbage can on the second floor landing,” Christen hears her yell as she walks towards the door to the suite.

“Oh, you’re on Heath,” Kelley yells back. Christen shakes her head at how ridiculous the two are, their voices fading as the door to the suite swings shut behind them and she refocuses on the papers in front of her.

She’s distracted a few minutes later by a phone ringing and she digs around behind her, finally finding Tobin’s phone. She glances down as the ringing stops but it’s a number she doesn’t recognize. There’s a text on Tobin’s lock screen from the same number, and even though she knows she shouldn’t, Christen can’t help but let her eyes skim over the message.

_Tobin, did you make a decision about the offer from OL? Playing in France will improve your game more than playing at UNC will. Call me if you want to talk more about it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for the ending lol I mean it's not like some huge cliffhanger right? But sometimes you just gotta have a lil cliffhanger I think, sorry bout it <3


	27. It’s totally harshing my vibes

_Tobin, did you make a decision about the offer from OL? Playing in France will improve your game more than playing at UNC will. Call me if you want to talk more about it._

 

Christen’s heart drops as she reads the text on Tobin’s screen. She holds the phone in her hand, her stomach in knots, as her eyes skim over the text again and again until the screen fades to black. She carefully places the phone down on the bed and turns her attention back to her work. She stares at her planner, her eyes unfocused as her mind runs through a million and one scenarios. 

Her attention snaps up when Tobin bursts into the room, slightly sweaty with a smile on her face. “Babe, what are you doing? You totally missed me schooling KO,” she exclaims breathlessly.

Christen swallows, her heart thudding in her chest, and holds Tobin’s phone out to her. “Uh, your phone rang,” she stutters.

Tobin narrows her eyes suspiciously, slowly reaching out to take the phone and glance down at it. “Were you reading my texts?” she accuses, a bite in her tone.

“It was just on your screen,” Christen whispers.

Tobin scoffs, crossing her arms. “Why were you even looking at my phone in the first place?” 

“Are you leaving?” Christen ignores Tobin’s question, hating how small and whiny her voice sounds. She looks up at Tobin, who’s glaring back at her, her jaw clenched.

“It’s Lyon. One of the best teams in Europe. The players I could play alongside are incredible and the money they’re offering is hard to pass up. This is my career we’re talking about,” she responds quickly, her eyes looking everywhere but at Christen. 

“So you’re going,” Christen says quietly, blinking back tears. 

“I didn’t say that. I haven’t made a decision yet. This is exactly why I didn’t tell you, Christen. I knew you’d look at me like that and try to make me stay,” Tobin retorts, taking her snapback off and tossing it onto her desk. 

“How long have you known?”

Tobin sits down on the bed, leaning back on her hands. “Why aren’t you happy for me?” she sighs, ignoring Christen’s question.

“How long Tobin?” Christen repeats, straightening out her papers and closing her planner. 

Tobin stands up again, unable to stay still. “A while,” she admits, running a hand through her hair.

Christen looks up at her trying to stay composed. “How. Long.”

“I don’t know Christen. I guess a couple months, but I didn’t know how legit it was until a couple weeks ago. I told them I want to finish out the season here so I guess I don’t really have to make a decision for a couple weeks, depending on how we do in the NCAA tournament. I was going to talk about it with some of my national team teammates when I see them in a couple weeks,” Tobin answers, her eyes downward as she rolls a soccer ball between her feet. 

“You’re seeing the national team in a couple of weeks?” Christen asks, confused.

Tobin freezes, the ball rolling under her bed, and her eyes flash up to Christen. “Fuck,” she mutters, running a hand through her hair again. “I swear Chris, I meant to tell you,” she insists, moving a step towards Christen, her eyes wide and panicked. 

Christen shakes her head, gathering her books and folders. “Right,” she says sarcastically, sliding off of Tobin’s bed. “I need to study and I’m tired. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she mutters, brushing past Tobin and walking to the door.

“Chris, wait. Please, just hear me out,” Tobin begs.

Christen stops a few steps from the door and whirls back around to face Tobin. “Oh, _now_ you want me to listen? _Now_ you want to talk to me?” she yells, her voice cracking as she blinks against the hot, angry tears filling her eyes. Tobin stares back at her, wide eyed in surprise at her outburst and Christen finds herself growing angrier the longer they stand there in silence. “Good luck finding someone that will put up with you and your bullshit in France, Tobin,” she spits, immediately regretting her words as she watches Tobin set her jaw, the familiar look of indifference taking over her features, her eyes growing cold and distant. 

“Whatever,” Tobin says, her tone flat as she shrugs her shoulders and turns away. Christen stands rooted to the spot and watches as Tobin grabs her backpack off her desk chair, opening it and dumping her school stuff onto the floor carelessly. She stalks over to her dresser, ripping open one of the drawers and digging through it, shoving clothes into her backpack. She turns back around, zipping it closed, and narrows her eyes when she sees Christen still standing near the door. “I thought you had to study,” she says, her voice and face devoid of emotion.

“Where are you going?” Christen asks quietly, her fury melted away, leaving tears of sadness instead of anger in her eyes.

Tobin shrugs, not looking at Christen as she pulls her backpack on and grabs her keys off her desk. “Don’t know. France maybe,” she laughs humorlessly, picking up her snapback and putting it onto her head. Her gaze drifts over to Christen and for just a second her face softens, her eyes flashing with regret and she opens her mouth as if she’s going to say something, but just as quickly, she snaps her mouth shut, clenching her jaw, and her eyes grow hard again. “See ya,” she mutters, brushing past Christen, pulling her bedroom door open and walking out. 

Christen watches her go, flinching when she hears the door to the suite slam shut. She gets ready for bed, even though it’s hardly 10pm. Kelley looks up in concern when Christen enters their room, probably having heard her yelling at Tobin, but Christen shakes her head, not wanting to talk about it, and climbs into bed.

  

Tobin doesn’t show up for class the next day but Christen isn’t really surprised. She doesn’t start to worry until she’s in the locker room before practice and Cheney walks past her, laughing about something Kelley had said. “Hey Pressy, where’s Tobs?” she asks, glancing over at Tobin’s locker.

Christen looks up at her with a furrowed brow. “She didn’t sleep at your place last night?”

Cheney shakes her head, her smile fading a bit. “Uh no, I haven’t seen or talked to her since bio lab yesterday.”

Christen’s eyes widen and she swallows roughly. “I don’t know where she is. We got in a fight last night and she took off. I thought she’d go to you,” she says quietly, looking at her phone, contemplating whether or not to call Tobin.

Cheney nods slowly and reaches out to pat Christen’s shoulder. “No, but it’s okay. Maybe she just needed some space, I’m sure she’ll come back soon. Don’t worry,” she reassures, before walking over to ARod’s locker and talking lowly to her.

Cheney is right and Tobin shows up towards the end of practice, trudging down to the field slowly. She talks to Anson for a while before lacing her cleats and joining the team for the last little bit of practice. Christen is walking towards the locker room after practice when she feels a tug on the back of her shirt. She turns around to find Tobin looking back at her anxiously, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and fiddling with the water bottle in her hands. She looks absolutely exhausted, her hair a mess and her bottom lip between her teeth. “What?” Christen asks, sounding harsher than she intends and Tobin flinches back slightly, looking down at her water bottle. “What Tobin?” she asks again, her voice softer.

Tobin looks up at her and releases her lip from between her teeth, sighing. “Please can we talk?” she asks, her voice small and shaky.

Christen stares at her, searching for any signs of insincerity, but Tobin honestly just looks sad and tired and she finds her resolve cracking. “I guess,” she relents, nodding slightly.

“Could we go somewhere after we shower and change?” Tobin asks, her voice still small but hopeful.

Christen nods, resisting the urge to reach out and brush the hair out of Tobin’s face, instead turning and heading towards the locker room.

 

A half an hour later, Christen follows Tobin to her Jeep, offering a small smile when Tobin pulls open the passenger side door for her before walking slowly around to the driver’s side. Christen looks around inside the car, taking in the stryofoam cup and paper coffee cup in the cup holders and the rolled up towel and blanket spread over the backseat. “Did you sleep in here last night?” she asks hesitantly, her eyes drifting down to a balled up towel and bikini on the floor next to the back seat. “Did you go swimming?” she asks, not giving Tobin a chance to answer her first question.

Tobin nods sheepishly, putting the keys in the ignition and starting the Jeep.

“Where did you go?” Christen asks, confusion evident in her tone.

“Uh, I actually drove to the Outer Banks last night. Slept for a few hours then grabbed breakfast at a 24 hour diner and found a surf rental that opened at 6. There’s a spot called the S-turns that I heard was good so I checked that out and it was pretty deserted and the waves were sick so I surfed for a few hours before heading back,” Tobin explains, toying with her lanyard.

“How far is that?” Christen asks, studying Tobin’s profile.

Tobin shrugs, still not looking up. “About 4 and a half, 5 hours.”

Christen just nods, not sure how to respond. They sit in silence for a few moments before Tobin finally looks up at her. “Could we go get something to eat?” she asks.

“Where do you wanna go?”

Tobin shrugs, throwing the car in reverse. “Is Chick-fil-A okay? I just wanna do drive through and go somewhere to talk.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Christen answers, putting her seatbelt on.

Tobin drives them to a Chick-fil-A a good twenty minutes off campus, which is a little odd because there are at least 3 closer ones, but Christen doesn’t question it. Once they have their food, Tobin pulls off of the main road onto a narrow side street leading up a hill. She drives through a small neighborhood before pulling onto an even narrower road with dead end signs. “Where are we going?” Christen asks warily.

“You’ll see,” Tobin answers cryptically, focused on navigating the Jeep between the trees lining both sides of the steep uphill road.

Christen opens her mouth to respond when the road opens up to a deserted cul de sac, no houses in sight. One side of the cul de sac borders deep woods, but the other side opens up with an amazing view that takes Christen’s breath away. Tobin parks the Jeep and grabs the blanket off the back seat before hopping out and reaching back in for her drink. Christen gets out as well, following Tobin with her own drink and the Chick-fil-A bag. Tobin spreads out the blanket on the grass and sits down, patting the spot next to her for Christen to sit. Christen sits down, putting the food in between them, still gaping at the view. “Tobin, this is incredible. How did you find this place?” she asks, glancing over at Tobin who is preoccupied with taking her nuggets out of the bag.

Tobin shrugs, glancing up at the view before looking back down at her food. “I don’t know, I just was exploring and I found it.”

Christen reaches into the bag to pull out her grilled chicken sandwich and they eat in silence, watching the last bits of sunlight fade from the sky. After they finish eating, they continue to sit in silence, both of them looking up as the stars come out. 

After a while, Tobin takes a deep breath and looks over at Christen. “Can we talk now?” she asks softly. 

Christen takes a deep breath as well, nodding. “Can I go first?”

A look of confusion crosses Tobin’s face but she shrugs nonetheless. “Yeah, okay,” she mutters, absentmindedly picking at the blanket in between them.

Christen leans back on her hands, crossing her ankles in front of her. “I wanted to apologize,” Christen starts. Tobin’s head snaps up and she looks over at Christen bewildered, opening her mouth to protest, but Christen puts her hand up and continues talking before Tobin can say anything. “Just listen. I’m upset with you for keeping this from me and I’m upset with you for leaving last night and not telling anyone where you were going. But I understand that you needed space and I understand that you weren’t ready to talk about it yet. I’m sorry that I saw the text message and I’m sorry about how I reacted. I shouldn’t have yelled at you or said the things that I said. I’m really sorry Tobin,” Christen says, placing her hand over Tobin’s fidgeting fingers to still them so she'll look up at her. “And I am happy for you. I know that this relationship is new but I just want you to know that I care about you so much and I’ve honestly never felt this way about anyone. I’m so proud of you and I’m not going to ask you to stay. I don’t want to influence your decision Tobs. The fact that you have this offer and opportunity is so incredible and if it’s something that you want, I one hundred percent think you should go for it,” she finishes, squeezing Tobin’s hand.

Tobin lets out a small nervous laugh and lies back on the blanket, putting one hand behind her head and tugging on Christen’s hand to pull her down. Christen lays down next to Tobin, her head on Tobin’s shoulder and Tobin’s arm wrapped around her. They stare up at the cloudless sky, full of stars for a few minutes until Tobin breaks the silence. “I’m not going,” she whispers casually.

Christen leans up, turning on to her side and propping her head up with one hand so she can look at Tobin. It’s dark but her eyes are adjusted and she can see that Tobin is looking up at the sky, not looking at her. “Tobin,” she says softly.

Tobin takes a deep breath and tears her gaze from the stars, turning her head slightly to look up at Christen. “I thought a lot about this Christen. People keep telling me that college isn’t going to grow my game, but c’mon I get to practice every day with players like you and Cheney and ARod and there’s no way I’m not going to improve my game. I’ll get the chance to play with and against older and more experienced players when I get called into camps and play in friendlies. And I’m not in college just to grow my game. I’ve wanted to go to UNC since before I can remember. And maybe I wasn’t ready last year but I’m here now and I’m not going to just give up when I’ve barely even started. I think, no, I _know_ that my mom would want me to stay and get my degree. Professional soccer will be there when I graduate. Plus,” Tobin continues, grinning cheekily up at Christen. “The girls at UNC are way cuter than the girls in France.”

Christen rolls her eyes at how Tobin can go from serious to teasing in just a few seconds. “Oh really? You have your eye on any in particular?”

Tobin hums as if thinking. “Yeah, there’s this one girl. Smart, funny, crazy beautiful.”

Christen blushes but then Tobin turns to her, smirking. “There’s just one little problem though.”

“Oh?” Christen asks, urging Tobin to continue.

Tobin wrinkles her nose in mock disgust, the big grin on her face betraying any semblance of seriousness. She crooks her finger, beckoning for Christen to lean closer. Christen leans in so Tobin can whisper in her ear. “She’s a Chelsea fan,” Tobin breathes out as if she just revealed something major.

Christen leans back, laughing and slaps Tobin’s shoulder lightly. Tobin laughs as well, reaching her hand up between them to tuck a strand of Christen’s hair behind her ear. “But seriously though, I really care about you too and I’ve never felt this way about anyone either. There are a lot of reasons why I’m choosing to stay, but I’m not going to pretend that you’re not one of them. I like you so much and I want to be here with you. I’m not going to throw that away for a new adventure.”

“But you love adventures,” Christen says, unable to keep the wide smile off of her face. 

Tobin shrugs and shakes her head slightly. “Yeah, true. But I-” she cuts herself off, her eyes widening and she laughs quietly. “I like you more than adventures,” she finishes, grinning up at Christen.

“That was cheesy,” Christen laughs, leaning in to kiss Tobin. She turns onto her back after pulling away, settling into Tobin’s side and looking up at the seemingly infinite amount of stars that are visible in the clear night sky. They point out all of the constellations that they know before they start making up new ones.

They stay this way for what seems like hours but eventually Christen can no longer pretend she’s not freezing. Still, she protests when Tobin pulls away from her and sits up. “Chris, c’mon,” Tobin laughs, reaching a hand out to help her up. “I could feel you shivering. Let’s go home. I’ll get you hot chocolate on the way.” 

“Alright, fine,” Christen grumbles, putting her hand in Tobin’s. “We need to get to bed anyway. No more skipping classes for you,” she says, wiggling a finger in Tobin’s face. Tobin wrinkles her nose and snaps her teeth, pretending to bite at Christen’s finger before she turns around and starts to pick up their garbage.

Christen slaps her ass lightly as she beds over to grab the Chick-fil-A bag. “Hey!” Tobin yelps in surprise, straightening up and turning around. “No funny business Pressy!” she exclaims, narrowing her eyes and pointing a finger at Christen. “We need to get to bed early so we can be well rested for class,” she says, making her voice higher in attempt at imitating Christen.

“Oh two can play at that game Tobin Heath,” Christen says, narrowing her own eyes and crossing her arms. “Class is like such a buzz kill brah. It’s totally harshing my vibes. We should just play some footy and make out instead,” she drawls, trying to imitate Tobin’s voice.

 

Tobin doubles over laughing, shaking her head. “Alright, you win. Let’s go,” she laughs out, grabbing their empty cups off the ground and tucking them into the crumpled bag. 

“That’s what I thought,” Christen mutters, smiling to herself as she shakes out and folds the blanket. Tobin grabs her hand and leads her to the Jeep, making sure she doesn’t stumble on the way. Once inside, Tobin blasts the heat and grins at her before carefully navigating her way back down the narrow road. Christen blows into her hands to warm them and studies Tobin’s profile as she drives, her jaw set in concentration. “I’m so glad you’re staying,” she whispers, not entirely intending to say it out loud, and if it wasn’t for the way Tobin’s jaw unclenches and a soft smile plays at her lips, she would think she didn’t hear her at all.

 

The next day, Christen and Tobin rush out of English class as fast as they can, hustling to get back to the suite so Tobin can answer the call she scheduled with the office in Lyon at 10am their time, 4pm in France. When Tobin told Christen about the call, she hadn’t expected her to want her there but Tobin had insisted and Christen just can’t say no to her. Once back in her room, Tobin perches on the edge of her bed, staring at the phone in her hand, waiting for it to ring, her knee bouncing nervously.

Christen scoots onto the bed behind Tobin, rubbing her hand over her tense shoulders. “Tobs, relax,” she says softly, cut off by ringing. Tobin turns to her, her eyes wide in panic, the phone ringing in her hand. 

“Answer it,” Christen urges, keeping a hand on Tobin’s back and giving her what she hopes is a reassuring smile. Tobin nods, taking a deep breath before answering the call.

Christen is surprised when Tobin starts speaking in French to who ever is on the other end of the line, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t find it incredibly sexy. She listens intently, trying to decipher how the conversation is going. She has no idea what Tobin is saying but it sounds pleasant enough. After a few moments however, Tobin’s shoulders tense up again. “Oiu, I’ve thought a lot about this and I really appreciate the offer but I think the best thing for me right now is going to be to stay here in the U.S. and finish my education at UNC…Merci beaucoup…Oiu…Okay, au revoir.”

Tobin ends the call and lets out a deep breath. Christen scoots close and wraps her arms around Tobin’s torso from behind, pressing a kiss between her shoulder blades. “You did good baby. How do you feel?”

Tobin melts in Christen’s arms, sighing. “Okay, I guess. I know I made the right choice,” she mutters, running her hand over Christen’s forearm. She looks at the time on her phone before tossing it onto her backpack on the floor. “We have a half hour until we need to leave for class,” she says lowly, grabbing Christen’s arms and spinning around. She grins wickedly and pushes Christen back onto the bed, crawling so she’s on her hands and knees above her.

Christen laughs up at her, shaking her head. “And just what are you suggesting we do with that half an hour of free time Heath?” she asks, winking and already reaching for the zipper of Tobin’s sweatshirt.

Tobin allows her to unzip it before shrugging it off. She leans in, her nose brushing Christen’s cheek as she brings her lips to her ear. “I was going to say we could take a nap but I like where your mind is at better,” she whispers, one of her hands already finding its way under Christen’s shirt.

  

Thirty minutes later, Christen is hurriedly patting her hair down and touching up her make up in the bathroom mirror. “You almost ready?” she calls down the hall as she caps her mascara. She walks back into Tobin’s room and finds her slowly pulling her jeans back on. “Tobin, come on! I know you have French now and you can’t be late. Let’s go,” she commands, sitting down on the floor to pull her boots back on. 

“Gimme a break Pressy, you tired me out. I’m moving as fast as I can,” she quips, standing and pulling her t shirt back on before shoving her feet into a pair of Nike’s. “Hey, so I have to meet with my French tutor before Bio but do you wanna go grab a coffee before practice?”

Christen nods, pulling her jacket on and picking up her backpack. “Starbucks in Rams Head?”

“Yeah, meet you there at 2:30ish?” Tobin asks, picking up her sweatshirt from the floor and putting it on before grabbing her own backpack.

“Sounds good,” Christen confirms, walking towards the door, Tobin a few steps behind her. “Your phone babe,” she reminds her, pointing to Tobin’s phone on the floor.

“Right, thanks,” Tobin laughs, scooping it up and following Christen through the door, flicking the light off on the way. She finds Christen’s hand before they’ve even left the suite, lacing their fingers together and swinging their joined hands between them as they make their way towards the stairwell, talking about their expectations for practice that day.

When they need to separate to head to different buildings for class, Tobin pulls Christen into a tight hug. She leans back and presses a quick kiss to her lips. “See you later babe. I- I’ll uh text you when I’m at the Starbucks or whatever,” she stumbles over the last sentence, her cheeks turning pink.

Christen is a little confused by it but she smiles and nods nonetheless. “Sounds good, see you then,” she says, turning to walk in the direction of her comm class. “Have fun in French and pay attention,” she calls over her shoulder to where Tobin is still standing and watching her walk away, her bottom lip between her teeth.

“’Kay, I will,” Tobin calls, finally turning to head to her own class.

 

Christen walks through the door of Rams Head, pulling her phone out to text Tobin that she’s a few minutes early, when she’s startled by a pair of hands falling over her eyes and a body against her back. “Guess who?”

Christen laughs, reaching up to pull the hands off of her face. “Tobs, you know you’re supposed to like disguise your voice when you do that, right?”

Tobin shrugs and grins at her. “I wanted to make it easy,” she mutters, grabbing Christen’s hand. “You’re early,” she states, as they fall in step, heading towards the Starbucks.

“So are you,” Christen replies, stepping closer to Tobin to squeeze past a group of students.

The line at Starbucks is long but they have time to spare, so they step in line, chatting about how their day has gone. Christen is explaining the math assignment that she and Alyssa are planning on working on together after dinner when she’s interrupted by someone calling Tobin’s name from somewhere behind them. Tobin pulls her hand out of Christen’s and turns, trying to locate the source of the voice. Christen looks down at her empty hand for a moment before also looking around. A pretty blonde girl strides over, smiling widely at Tobin. “Tobin, I thought that was you! Hey,” she exclaims, stopping next to Tobin. 

“Oh, hey…you,” Tobin mumbles, smiling back at the girl. Christen rolls her eyes at the fact that Tobin obviously doesn’t know the girl’s name. She checks their place in line, but there’s still two people ahead of them so she turns back to Tobin and the girl. She watches through narrowed eyes as the girl reaches out and rests her hand on Tobin’s bicep.

“Hey, you never called,” she says softly, running her hand down Tobin’s arm a bit.

“Yeah, you know, just busy with soccer and everything,” Tobin shrugs, seemingly unfazed.

The girl nods and bats her eyelashes at Tobin, making Christen’s jaw clench as she crosses her arms and continues watching the interaction. “Well, call me when soccer season ends, yeah?” she says, her hand still on Tobin’s arm.

Tobin shrugs again, taking a half step towards the counter when the barista calls for next in line, causing the girl to pull her hand back. “Yeah, sure. See ya,” Tobin says, waving at the girl with a smile and a wink before turning to the barista. She orders for herself before looking around, seeming to finally remember Christen’s presence. “Cappuccino?” she asks, grinning at Christen.

Christen nods once, her arms still crossed as she shoots daggers at Tobin’s back with her eyes. Tobin finishes the order and pays, stepping towards the other end of the counter to wait for their drinks and the apple fritter she had ordered. Christen reluctantly follows, standing a few steps away from Tobin, still glaring at her. Tobin looks around, raising an eyebrow when she sees Christen standing three feet away from her with her arms crossed. “What are you doing?” she asks, an amused smile on her face. 

Christen doesn’t even have a chance to answer before Tobin is turning to take her pastry bag from the barista, saying something to her that has her laughing before turning back to Christen. She opens the bag and breaks off a piece of the apple fritter, popping it into her mouth and giving Christen a closed mouth grin. “Want some?” she mumbles, holding the bag towards Christen.

Christen shakes her head, not moving any closer or uncrossing her arms. Tobin shrugs casually, popping another piece of apple fritter into her mouth and turning to watch the baristas make their drinks. She hands Christen her drink when it’s done before turning to grab her own. Christen is already halfway to the door, not bothering to wait for her. Tobin quickly catches up to her, nudging her with her shoulder. “Are we in a rush?” she asks, walking quickly to keep up with Christen. 

Christen just shrugs, taking a tiny sip of her cappuccino that’s still way too hot to drink. “Chris, are you okay?” Tobin asks, confusion evident in her tone.

“Fine, Tobin,” Christen answers shortly, walking outside into the sunshine.

“What’s wrong?” Tobin asks, shifting the pastry bag into the hand holding her coffee and trying to grab Christen’s hand. Christen pulls her hand back, shaking her head. “Chris?” Tobin asks hesitantly, her voice still sounding confused and hurt.

Christen sighs, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. She walks over to bench off the path a little ways and sits, waiting for Tobin. Tobin sits down next to her, looking at her with a furrowed brow. “What’s going on?” Tobin asks.

“Who was that girl?”

Tobin just shakes her head. “In Starbucks? I honestly don’t even know her name,” Tobin laughs, cutting herself off when she realizes that Christen isn’t finding this amusing. “Chris, she’s no one. I hooked up with her once over the summer. It was before we were together,” Tobin rushes out.

“You just told her that you would call her, Tobin,” Christen points out, trying to keep her voice even and calm.

Tobin laughs again, once again cutting herself off when she sees the look on Christen’s face. “Chris, I’m not really going to call her. I don’t even think I saved her number,” Tobin shrugs.

“Then why did you say that?”

Tobin shrugs again. “I don’t know. I’m sorry,” she offers, but it comes out more like a question than an apology.

“God, you really are clueless,” Christen mutters, shaking her head. “Tobin, you have a girlfriend. I was standing right next to you the whole time. Maybe next time don’t tell some random girl that you fucked that you’ll call her and wink at her with that stupid flirty smile that you do, when your girlfriend is standing right there,” she says, exasperatedly.

“I wasn’t flirting!” Tobin objects.

“Yeah, you were Tobs. You flirt with everyone. I know that’s just how you are, just charming everyone around you all the time, but if you could avoid flirting with girls you’ve slept with right in front of my face that’d be great. Next time you could just say ‘no, sorry I have a girlfriend’ instead of lying and telling the girl that you’re going to call her.” 

Tobin starts smirking and leans towards her. “Christen Press are you jealous?”

Christen rolls her eyes and glares at Tobin. “Tobin. I’m being serious,” she warns. 

Tobin’s eyes widen and she nods, the smirk disappearing quickly. “Alright. I shouldn’t have said that I’d call her and I should have told her that I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry, Chris. I promise you’re the only girl I want though,” she insists, giving Christen her best puppy dog eyes. “Do you forgive me?” she whines, throwing in a pout for good measure.

Christen glares at her for another moment, already feeling her resolve melting. “I guess,” she sighs, ignoring the way Tobin’s pout immediately changes into a smile. “If you give me the rest of the apple fritter,” she finishes, smiling sweetly when Tobin’s smile fades and she looks between her and the pastry bag. Christen holds her hand out and looks back at Tobin expectantly.

Tobin groans and pushes the bag into Christen’s hand, grumbling about how she only got two bites. Christen smiles triumphantly, reaching into the bag for a piece of the pastry and making a big show about eating it. “Mm, so good,” she moans as she slowly chews the glazed treat. 

Tobin shakes her head, looking at her through narrowed eyes. “You’re ridiculous,” she groans, watching Christen swipe her tongue across her lips. Christen just grins back at her, pleased to have a little payback. She takes another few bites of the pastry, being sure to eat them as slowly and sensually as possible, even going as far as licking the glaze off of her finger while keeping eye contact with Tobin. Tobin sucks down the rest of her iced coffee, her eyes never leaving Christen. When there are only a few bites left, Christen takes pity on Tobin and decides to stop teasing her.

“Want the rest?” she asks, holding the bag out to Tobin.

Tobin smirks at her and shrugs. “I was kinda enjoying watching you eat it.”

Christen laughs and pulls the bag back. “Fine, I guess I’ll finish it then.”

Tobin reaches out and snatches the bag out of her hand. “Let’s not get crazy Pressy. I never said I didn’t want it,” she laughs, reaching into the bag and grabbing the rest of the pastry, shoving it into her mouth.

“Attractive,” Christen deadpans, standing up and pulling her backpack on. “Come on, let’s go to practice.”

 

That Friday night, the Tar Heels take on Kansas at home in the second round of the NCAA tournament. The first half is a little bit sloppy and frustrating and Kansas dominates possession, getting a few good looks at goal. Luckily, they come out of the half unscathed thanks to some magnificent defending by their backline. Anson tears into them at halftime, demanding better and the team heads back out onto the field with a renewed sense of vigor. Christen starts the second half on the bench, but luckily she has Alyssa on one side and Julie on the other to keep her company. 

Kansas is rocked back on their heels at the start of the second half, caught off guard by the Tar Heel’s aggression and high energy. Christen and the rest of the bench can tell that it’s only a matter of time before they find the back of the net, and they’re proven right less than 10 minutes into the half when in the 53rd minute, Whitney sends a perfectly weighted pass up the sideline that finds Tobin easily. Tobin takes the ball up the sideline towards the corner, cutting back and nutmegging her defender before sending a cross into the box. Sydney strikes the ball with power on a half volley near the top of the 18 and it ricochets off the underside of the crossbar into right corner of the net.

The Tar Heel’s momentum only builds after their goal and Kansas doesn’t get another shot off for the rest of the game. Christen subs back in in the 76th minute and immediately makes a difference. In the 79th minute, ARod gets behind the Kansas defense, dribbling into the box and sending a shot the keeper is lucky to get a glove on, swatting it away in a point blank save. The ball rebounds to Tobin’s feet and she barely needs to take a glance up before tapping it across the 18, right into the path of Christen’s run. Christen one times it into the bottom left corner, past the outstretched keeper, who still hasn’t recovered from ARod’s shot. Tobin sweeps her off her feet, swinging her around with a big grin, her goal sealing UNC’s 2-0 victory.

  

The next morning the team has an early meeting and film session, only made better by the coffee and bagels provided by the coaching staff. Christen pushes Tobin over towards Cheney as they turn away from the breakfast table. Tobin turns to her and cocks an eyebrow. “You don’t want to sit with me?” 

Christen purses her lips and shakes her head. “Nope. You’re a distraction and I want to pay attention. Plus, I’m going to sit near Kelley and you know you guys are not allowed to be on the same side of the room during meetings. Go sit with Cheney and ARod so they can babysit you,” she quips, once again nudging Tobin towards the left side of the room.

Tobin shrugs and laughs but listens nonetheless, squeezing in between Cheney and ARod while Christen walks to the other side of the room to sit with the rest of their roommates.

The team breaks for lunch after a long meeting and film session. The rest of the day is focused on recovery as they prepare for their third round game against Clemson on Sunday afternoon. Christen only played 55 minutes the night before so she does a recovery session followed by a light training. Tobin had played the full ninety against Kansas and is forced into a full day of recovery with a few other players that had played to full game.

Christen is pulling her socks on when the handful of players that were still doing recovery come trickling into the locker room. She sighs when she sees Tobin trudging in, a noticeable scowl on her face, probably about having to do recovery instead of training. However, her scowl melts into a smile when her eyes land on Christen and she plops down next to her on the locker room floor. “Missed ya. Want to go get dinner and do something fun?” she asks, grinning at Christen.

“We can’t, we have the team pasta party at Ali and Ashlyn’s, Tobs,” Christen reminds her, tying her Nikes.

Tobin wrinkles her nose, pushing up off the ground. “Right, I forgot,” she mumbles, taking Christen’s hand to help her up. “Maybe tomorrow?”

Christen nods, starting to pack up her bag. “Sure, babe. Go get your stuff together so we can go,” she urges, pointing towards Tobin’s messy locker.

  

The next day the team faces off against Clemson University. The game is defensive and chippy and Clemson is pressing high, catching the UNC forwards offside three times in the first half alone. Finally, in the 71st minute, Cheney takes a shot from outside the box that somehow floats just over the keeper and hits the back of the net. The game ends with a 1-0 win, securing UNC’s spot in the quarterfinals in South Carolina the following weekend.

Later that night, after grabbing dinner with the team and spending a couple hours at the library, Christen is sitting on the couch with Tobin’s head in her lap, watching the Arsenal and Manchester United match from the day before. Christen is not very invested in the game, content to sit there stroking her fingers through Tobin’s soft hair and listen to her commentary.

Tobin rolls onto her back at halftime, smiling up at Christen. “That feels good,” she murmurs, closing her eyes. Christen continues running her fingers through Tobin’s hair, smiling down at how relaxed she looks.

“Hey Tobs?” she says softly, remembering something she had been meaning to ask her.

“Hmm?” Tobin hums, not opening her eyes.

“Who was the person who texted you about Lyon?” she asks, referring to the unsaved number that she had seen on Tobin’s phone.

Tobin opens one eye to peek at her before closing it again. “Just a friend of HAO’s. She played in France so HAO gave her my number so I could ask any questions I had and talk to her about the playing style and stuff.”

Christen nods, twirling a strand of Tobin’s hair around her finger. “Have you told anyone else about the offer?” 

“Not yet,” Tobin yawns out, opening her eyes to look up at Christen. “I’ll tell Cheney and ARod this week and probably Alex and Allie too. I guess I should talk to Anson about it. I probably should have told him sooner to be honest. Maybe tell my family about it over Christmas,” she shrugs, letting her eyes close again.

“What are your plans for Christmas break? Are you going to be in Jersey the whole time?” Christen asks, realizing that the month apart isn’t something they’ve discussed before and break is only a few weeks away. 

Tobin shrugs again, her eyes still closed. “No, I don’t really have set plans yet. I probably will spend Christmas in Jersey. Maybe head out to see Allie on Long Island for New Years. Before Christmas I’m not sure. I think I’ll probably go see Alex too. Maybe visit a couple of national team teammates. I’ll be around,” she says, waving a hand in the air noncommittally. 

Christen nods, thinking about Tobin’s answer. “Well, I’ll be home the whole time so if you miss me you know where to find me,” she says in joking tone but meaning her words. 

Tobin opens her eyes and looks up at her. “Yeah? It’d be cool if I came out and visited?” she asks seriously.

Christen nods again, smiling down at Tobin. “Definitely, I would love if you visited. I guess I should tell my parents that we’re more than roommates before that though,” she laughs.

Tobin grins at her before turning back onto her side as the second half starts. “I’ll look at plane tickets in the next couple weeks,” she promises, still smiling at the television screen. Christen looks down at her, tracing a finger along her jawline before continuing to stroke her hair, already thinking of the conversation she needs to have with her parents.


	28. Am I crazy if I say yes?

Tuesday is the last day of classes before break, but because they are traveling to South Carolina the day after Thanksgiving for the College Cup quarterfinals, no one on the team goes home. They have a hard training Tuesday afternoon and the locker room is loud and rowdy afterwards, contrasting with the quiet, deserted campus. The national team has a game at 8pm and most of the team plans to head to Ali and Ashlyn’s for dinner and to watch the game. Christen walks back to the suite with all of her roommates except Alyssa, who had left with Ashlyn after offering to help out with the cooking. She listens to Julie fret about getting ready for dinner with Zach’s parents, while Tobin and Kelley trail behind them, engaged in a heated discussion of who won a pull up competition earlier in the day.

Once back in the suite, Kelley and Tobin decide to settle their argument with a game of FIFA and Christen follows Julie into her room to help her get ready. They chat about winter break while Christen curls Julie’s hair. “Tobin said she’d come visit me over break,” she mentions casually, reaching for the hairspray.

Julie raises her eyebrows and meets Christen’s eyes in the mirror. “That’s a pretty big step Chris. I mean I guess she’s met your parents before but they don’t know you’re dating right?” 

Christen shakes her head, gesturing for Julie to close her eyes so she can spray the hairspray. “No, not yet. I’m gunna tell them before she comes, of course, but it just feels like something I should do in person instead of over the phone.”

Julie nods, turning her head to admire her curls while Christen turns off the curling iron and puts the cap back on the hairspray. “So you guys are getting pretty serious, huh?” 

Christen shrugs, pulling the plug out of the wall. “I don’t know. I like her so much. It feels really crazy that we’ve only been together for a month. It feels like way longer than that,” she muses, fiddling with the cord.

“Yeah, but you guys were a thing way before she ever made it official,” Julie comments, reaching for her make up bag.

“I guess,” Christen concedes flopping back on to Julie’s bed. “You’ve been with Zach for a long time right?”

“Mhm, a little over a year now.” 

Christen is quiet for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. “Do you love him?” she asks shyly.

“Yeah, of course,” Julie answers simply. 

“When did you know? Like how did you know that you love him?” Christen questions, leaning up on her elbows to look at Julie.

Julie puts down her mascara and turns to face Christen. “I just knew. I don’t know how to explain it. I knew maybe 2 or 3 months after we started dating. We were driving home from the movies and it was nothing special. Like I was in sweats and we saw some stupid comedy while eating candy that we smuggled in from home. But I just felt like I’d be happy with doing anything as long as it was with him. He pulled in my driveway and turned to me and I opened my mouth to say it and he blurted it out before I could even get the words out,” Julie laughs, reminiscing. She looks at Christen then, her expression a little more serious. “Why? Do you think you love Tobin?”

Christen drops onto her back again, and stares up at the ceiling as she lets out a sigh. “Am I crazy if I say yes?” she asks quietly. 

“No, not at all,” Julie reassures. “I think when you know, you know. Do you think she feels the same way? Are you going to tell her?” 

Christen thinks for a moment before answering. “I hope she feels the same way but I guess I’m not too sure. I’m not ready to tell her yet. I almost said it after the Florida State game. She was so upset and I almost said it but I caught myself. I think it’s too early. We’re still figuring things out, you know?” Christen rambles, lifting her head to look at Julie. 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” she nods. “I’m happy for you Chris.”

 

A half an hour later, only Tobin and Christen remain in the suite, Julie having left for dinner and Kelley skipping out only a few minutes later to go get Chipotle with Emily and Moe, not wanting anything to do with ‘whatever healthy crap’ Alyssa and Ashlyn might cook up. Christen finishes packing her backpack for their trip the next day before heading into the living room to find Tobin, who’s still sitting on the couch playing FIFA. She pauses the game and tosses the controller onto the coffee table, smiling at Christen as she walks closer.

“Hey babe, you almost ready to go?” Christen asks, returning Tobin’s smile.

Tobin reaches a hand out and pulls Christen down into her lap. “Hmm, maybe we should just skip dinner,” she muses, nuzzling into Christen’s neck, her hands already wandering.

Christen puts her hands on top of Tobin’s, stilling them on her hips and leans back to look at her. “It’s only like an hour until the game starts.”

Tobin leans forward, trying to close the distance between them again. “I can work with an hour,” she responds coolly, her lips brushing over Christen’s pulse point. “Plus, I don’t mind missing the game.”

Christen tilts her head, releasing Tobin’s hands and threading her fingers into Tobin’s hair, the soccer game already forgotten. Tobin kisses and nips at her neck, her hands slowly pushing up under her shirt. After a few minutes of this, Tobin surprises her by scooping her up, carrying her bridal style to her room, and kicking the door shut behind them. She laughs when Tobin clumsily drops her onto her bed sideways before pushing her backpack and some books off to the floor. She walks around the side of the bed and smirks at Christen, grabbing her feet and pulling her to the edge. 

Christen’s laughter dies in her throat as Tobin stands between her legs, her hands hooked behind her knees. She drops Christen's legs so they dangle off the side of the bed and reaches for her hands instead, pulling her up until she’s sitting. She reaches down for the hem of Christen’s shirt and pulls it over her head, dropping it to the floor before grabbing her chin and tilting her head up, leaning down to kiss her. Christen leans back on her hands, keeping her head tilted up as Tobin leans down, licking into her mouth, tasting sweet, like Gatorade and something so distinctly Tobin. One of her hands curls around the back of Christen’s neck, keeping total control of the kiss, while her other hand drifts around her back and unclasps Christen’s bra with one smooth movement. She puts her hand flat on Christen’s back so Christen can take her weight off of her hands, holding her up as she leans over her. Tobin reaches between them, pulling Christen’s bra down her arms. She lowers her down to the bed, breaking the kiss, still standing between Christen’s legs. 

Her hands drift over Christen’s exposed torso, paying special attention to her breasts and Christen gasps, her fingers grasping at the sheets under her when Tobin leans down, swirling her tongue around her nipple. She kisses across Christen’s chest repeating the process on the other side before leaning back up and reaching for the button of Christen’s jeans. She hesitates before popping it out, looking at Christen with a questioning expression as if asking permission. 

Christen is already breathing heavily and seriously doubting her capacity to form words, so she just nods eagerly and lifts her hips towards Tobin. Tobin pushes her hips back down, shaking her head slightly at Christen’s impatience. She unbuttons her jeans, dragging her zipper down torturously slow and Christen throws her head back, groaning before attempting to push her jeans down herself. Tobin swats her hands away before she can accomplish anything.

“Patience baby,” she scolds softly. “Lemme take my time.”

She finishes unzipping her jeans but instead of pulling them down, her hands drift back up Christen’s stomach, cupping her breasts and toying with her nipples again. Christen’s eyes screw shut, her bottom lip between her teeth in pleasure. 

“Hey, don’t do that. There’s no one here, you don’t have to be quiet. Open your eyes babe,” Tobin urges, her fingers trailing a slow path back down to her jeans. “You want these off, huh?” she asks when Christen opens her eyes, her fingertips dipping into the waistband of her jeans. 

“Yeah,” Christen breathes out, resisting the urge to push them down herself. Tobin hums in response slowly inching the jeans and Christen’s underwear down her hips. She takes a step back, tugging them over Christen’s ass with a bit of difficulty, laughing a little at Christen’s wiggling in an attempt to help her. She finally peels them off of her legs, dropping the jeans and her underwear to the floor and grinning triumphantly. “C’mere,” she demands, patting the middle of the bed and urging Christen to scoot up. Christen obliges, getting comfortable against the pillows before looking back up at Tobin, who’s still standing to the side of the bed.

Tobin pulls her t shirt off, dropping it to the floor before climbing onto the bed, settling in between Christen’s legs. She kisses a path from Christen’s knee up the inside of her thigh, using her hands to gently spread Christen’s legs. She nips the sensitive skin high on the inside of Christen’s thigh before turning her head. She glances up at Christen, making sure she’s still watching, before her tongue slips out and slowly drags through Christen’s folds.

Christen lets out a whine at the contact, trying not to buck her hips when Tobin repeats the motion, humming in satisfaction. Tobin pulls back just enough to whisper, “you taste so good,” before her tongue is on Christen again. She grabs one of Christen’s legs, pulling it up and over her shoulder to gain better access.

She leans back in, slipping her tongue into Christen and reaching up to tweak one of her nipples. “Oh fuck,” Christen groans out, her hand flying to the back of Tobin’s head, trying to pull her closer and get her tongue deeper. Tobin continues, eventually replacing her tongue with her fingers and licking up to Christen’s clit, swirling her tongue around it several times before sucking and rolling her lips over it.

Christen’s hand tightens in Tobin’s hair, panting out “oh God Tobin,” with her eyes squeezed shut and her other hand grasping at her own breast. She almost feels like she’s blacking out when she comes only moments later, experiencing the most powerful orgasm of her life. Her hands fall limply to her sides after Tobin helps her ride out her orgasm and she pulls in deep shaky breaths, sighing when Tobin slips her fingers out of her and presses a kiss to the inside of her thigh before climbing up the bed and lying down next to her.

After what seems like forever, Christen finally opens her eyes, turning her head to look at Tobin, who’s grinning back at her, her chin still wet and shining. The cocky grin on her face reenergizes Christen and she shoves at Tobin’s shoulder, pushing her down onto her back. “My turn,” she rasps, enjoying the look of surprise that crosses Tobin’s face. She pulls Tobin’s sports bra off first, nipping at her collar bones and the sensitive skin around her nipples before trailing her kisses down to the waist band of Tobin’s sweatpants.

She’s about to push them down over Tobin’s slender hips but suddenly Tobin’s hands are pulling at her, getting her attention. “Are you sure?” Tobin asks breathlessly, her eyes wide.

Christen nods, the haze of lust from Tobin’s actions and the desire to prove herself preventing any insecurities from creeping into her mind. Tobin drops her hands to her sides, silently giving Christen permission to do what she’d like. Christen hooks her fingers into the waistband of Tobin’s sweatpants and underwear, slowly tugging them down over her hips and off her legs, leaning back to admire Tobin’s naked body for a minute.

She lets her hands drift up and down Tobin’s legs, mapping out soft warm skin and taut muscles until Tobin is practically whimpering with desire. Christen doesn’t stop her exploration though, moving up the bed a bit to allow her hands to drift around Tobin’s hips, grabbing at her muscular ass before dragging her hands up the smooth skin of Tobin’s stomach, feeling her abdominal muscles contract under her finger tips. She continues her worship of her girlfriend’s body, admiring the muscles in her shoulders and arms before finally reaching for her chest, Tobin’s nipples hard against her palms.

“You’re killin’ me babe,” Tobin groans, her eyes still squeezed shut and head thrown back in pleasure. Christen finally takes pity on her and lets her hand drift down to where Tobin needs her most. “Fuck Chris,” she moans loudly, while Christen gasps at how wet she is. She runs her finger through Tobin’s folds once more before removing her hand, Tobin groaning at the loss of contact as Christen scoots further down the bed, settling herself between Tobin’s legs.

She uses her fingers to spread Tobin before lapping at her wetness experimentally, using Tobin’s moans as encouragement. She tries to copy Tobin, dipping a finger into her and swirling her tongue around Tobin’s clit, but eventually gets into her own rhythm, adding a second finger when Tobin demands it. She darts her tongue over Tobin’s clit rapidly, curling her fingers and Tobin falls apart under her, panting and moaning. She waits until Tobin’s hips have stopped bucking to remove her fingers, sucking them clean and savoring Tobin’s taste before dropping onto the bed next to her. After a few moments of catching her breath, Tobin rolls over, pulling Christen into her arms and burying her face in the crook of her neck. “You’re incredible,” she breathes out, pressing a kiss into her shoulder.

Christen doesn’t answer, just smiles, rubbing her hands over Tobin’s bare back. A few minutes later Tobin’s breathing is slow and even, her head heavy on her shoulder and Christen knows she’s asleep. She closes her own eyes but after a while she decides that she’s too hungry to sleep and gently wakes Tobin.

They sleepily get dressed, smiling contentedly and stealing kisses before making their way hand in hand down to Tobin’s Jeep. They arrive at Ali and Ashlyn’s half way through the first half and serve themselves cold left over baked ziti before joining the team to watch the rest of the game. Everyone has questions for Tobin about players and tactics, knowing she is joining the team after their game Friday and will likely play in the next friendly that the U.S. has on Sunday. The night ends when the USA pull off a 3-0 win against Mexico and everyone says their goodnights before going their separate ways.

  

The Tar Heels practice Wednesday morning before boarding the bus to South Carolina that afternoon. Tobin thumbs through a surfing magazine while Christen reads but they keep their hands laced together for most of the drive and when Tobin gets bored of her magazine she leans into Christen’s side, resting her head on her shoulder and falling asleep quickly.

 

The team checks into their hotel Wednesday night and Christen is assigned to room with Whitney. Everyone heads off to their rooms, too tired to hang out like they usually do on away trips. Christen and Whitney don’t talk much, quietly getting ready for bed and settling into their room. Christen has just climbed into her bed when there’s a soft knocking on the hotel room door.

“Got it,” Whitney calls, coming out of the bathroom and flipping the light off behind her. Christen sits up in bed, leaning forward to try and peek at who’s at the door as she hears it open. “It’s for you,” Whitney announces, walking across the room towards her bed, sending Christen a knowing look and a wink on her way.

Christen’s brow furrows as she slides out of bed and pads towards the door. Her face melts into a smile when she sees Tobin leaning against the open door, looking soft and warm and sleepy in her sweats, her hair in a messy bun and her eyes crinkled shut as she yawns. She grins and steps back into the hallway when she reopens her eyes and her gaze focuses on her girlfriend. “Hey,” she breathes out, waiting for Christen to flip the latch out to keep the hotel room door from swinging all the way shut. 

“Hi. What are you doing here?” Christen questions quietly, turning to face Tobin and step into her waiting arms.

“I missed you,” Tobin mutters, hugging her tightly.

Christen giggles softly, hugging Tobin back. “I saw you like 30 minutes ago Tobs. You missed me?”

Tobin nods, her chin hitting Christen’s shoulder before she drops her head onto her shoulder completely. “Mhm,” she hums, turning her head to press a kiss to Christen’s neck. “I just needed to see you before going to sleep,” she murmurs, her lips still brushing over the sensitive skin on Christen’s neck.

Christen can’t wipe the dopey smile off her face at Tobin’s words and she trails her hands up and down her back. “I’m glad you came to see me. I missed you too,” she admits. 

Tobin pulls back then, grinning lazily at her before letting her gaze drift down to her lips. Christen’s heart starts to race as she watches Tobin’s expression become serious, and she mentally scolds herself for allowing Tobin to still have this effect on her regardless of how many kisses they have shared. Tobin’s eyes flit back up to hers and they’re wide and serious before she tilts her head and leans in to connect their lips. The kiss is slow and passionate, both of them seeming to pour unspoken emotions into it. Tobin brings her hand up to Christen’s face, her thumb brushing over her cheekbone as she continues to kiss her deeply. Eventually Christen has to pull back to breathe, but Tobin doesn’t let her get far, keeping her hand on her cheek and resting her forehead against hers, her eyes still closed. They stay like that for a few seconds, before Tobin pecks Christen on the lips again and takes a small step back, opening her eyes and smiling. “See you in the morning?”

Christen nods, grinning back at her. “See you in the morning,” she confirms.

Tobin looks up and down the hallway before stepping forward and pressing another quick kiss to Christen’s lips. “Night babe,” she says, taking a few backwards steps down the hall.

“Night,” Christen echoes softly, turning and pushing the hotel room door open. She waves once more as Tobin pads barefoot down the hallway in the direction of her own room before slipping into the room and closing the door behind her. She heads back to her bed, suddenly aware of the goofy grin on her face when she feels Whitney’s eyes on her.

“What’d Tobin want?” she asks, smiling at Christen. 

“Uh, she just had a question about our English paper,” Christen lies, pulling her blankets back to avoid Whitney’s eyes.

“Oh, she didn’t want a kiss goodnight?”

Christen spins around her eyes wide. “What?” she sputters out, anxiously.

“Relax, Christen. It’s okay, I know you guys are a thing,” Whitney laughs out, shaking her head.

“How?” Christen replies, sitting down on her bed. She and Tobin hadn’t particularly been hiding their relationship, but they also hadn’t told anyone besides their roommates and Cheney and ARod, and they were pretty careful to avoid too much PDA when around the team.

Whitney looks at her knowingly. “You guys are even less subtle than Ali and Ashlyn and that’s seriously saying a lot. But also I’m just good. I knew the two of them were in love before they even admitted they liked each other. I’m not gunna tell anyone but honestly I think everyone can see the way you are around each other and the way you look at each other.”

Christen laughs, thinking back on how obvious she and Tobin have been. “I guess you’re right,” she concedes, climbing into her bed. 

“Are you guys like official though?” Whit asks, plugging her phone in and putting it down on the night table.

“Mhm,” Christen nods, setting her alarm. “For a month on Saturday actually.” 

Whitney grins at her. “I knew it ever since we watched that scary movie in Florida. You guys were cuddling so hard,” she teases.

Christen rolls her eyes and clicks the light off in between their beds. “Goodnight Whitney,” she sing songs, rolling over to face the other way.

Whitney laughs behind her, also getting comfortable in her bed. “Night Chris.”

 

The team trains Thursday morning, returning to the hotel for a quick meeting and recovery before meeting up in one of the hotel conference rooms for a catered Thanksgiving dinner. It’s not a traditional Thanksgiving for any of them but everyone is all smiles nonetheless, loading up their plates with food despite Anson's warnings not to eat too much with the game tomorrow. Cheney makes a quick speech, reminding the team how thankful she is for them while trying not to get too sentimental. Christen is just about to take her first bite of mashed potatoes when Tobin leans in next to her to whisper in her ear. “Hey, I’m most thankful for you this year,” she says softly, leaning back with a smile.

Christen freezes with her fork hovering in the air and turns her head towards Tobin. “I’m most thankful for you too,” she whispers, returning Tobin’s grin. Tobin finds her left hand under the table and gives it a quick squeeze before turning back to her plate. Christen turns back to her food as well, still smiling widely. She looks up and briefly meets Whitney’s gaze across the table finding her staring back at her, an eyebrow raised and a faint smirk on her lips. Christen blushes, having been caught, and looks down at her food, still unable to wipe the smile off of her face.

  

Later that night, Christen sits on Whitney’s bed, playing cards with Ali and Whit, while Tobin and Ashlyn lounge on her bed, watching a soccer game on Tobin’s laptop between them. After a little while, Ali stands up, stretching her arms above her head. “I’m gunna run down to the lobby and get some coffee and maybe a snack. Anybody want anything?”

Christen stands up as well, careful not to knock over the stack of cards in the middle of the bed. “I’ll come with you. I could use some coffee.”

She waits until they’re in the elevator to bring up something that she’d been thinking about since her conversation with Whitney the night before. “Hey Al?” she asks as the elevator doors slide shut.

“Mhm?” Ali hums, pressing the button for the lobby and looking down at her phone.

“Can I talk to you about something?” Christen asks quietly, suddenly shy.

Ali locks her phone and tucks it into her pocket, looking up at Christen with concern. “Of course, what’s up?”

Christen takes a deep breath, watching the numbers change as the elevator descends to the ground floor. “So… Tobin and I are together,” she says slowly, looking over at Ali to gauge her reaction.

Ali nods, smiling over at Christen. “That’s great Chris. I’m really happy for you guys,” she says sincerely, taking a step forward as the elevator doors open.

Christen follows her as they walk slowly through the lobby towards the coffee shop in the corner. “We’ve only told a few people. It’s only been a month but I don’t know. I feel like maybe we should tell the team. I guess I just wanted to talk to you about how you and Ashlyn handled things. How did you tell the team?”

Ali tilts her head to the side thoughtfully. “Let’s order our coffee and then we’ll sit down to talk about it okay?” she offers, gesturing towards the counter. 

Christen nods and steps forward first, getting a drink for herself and a pastry for Tobin before sitting down in one of the armchairs. Ali comes over a few minutes later plopping down into the chair across from her. “Alright, so you can either just tell the whole team, which is what Ash and I did, or you can not tell anyone, or you could just tell individual teammates. There’s really no rules or anything about how you do this. It’s totally up to you and Tobin and I think you should talk to her about how you want to handle things, but I can tell you about Ash and I if you’d like.” 

Christen nods, sipping her coffee and leaning towards Ali to listen. “So Ash and I didn’t tell anyone at first. Mostly because I wasn’t out and I wanted to at least come out to my parents first. Plus we started dating during the spring semester so we weren’t with the team every day the way we are now. We talked about it over the summer and decided to tell the team when we got back to campus. And then maybe like the second or third day of preseason Ash just got on a chair in the locker room and yelled out ‘Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you know that this is my girlfriend and I’m gunna marry her one day!’ and then jumped down like it was nothing,” Ali laughs, recounting the story and Christen smiles back at her. 

“What’d everyone do?” she asks.

Ali shrugs, taking a sip of her drink. “It wasn’t a big deal. I think everyone kinda knew already. There were some catcalls and cheers and stuff but then everyone just went back to whatever they were doing.” 

Christen sips her coffee thoughtfully. They stay down in the lobby for another 20 minutes, talking about Ali and Ashlyn and her and Tobin, and Christen listens intently to any advice that Ali is willing to offer. They only stand and make their way back up to the room when Ashlyn texts Ali asking what’s taking so long.

 

The next day the team plays the quarterfinals against South Carolina. They win 1-0 after a goal in the 22nd minute by ARod, assisted by Cheney. Tobin has to leave almost immediately after the game to catch her flight to join the National team in Atlanta for their game on Sunday. Christen barely has time to even get a kiss goodbye before Tobin is throwing her bag into the trunk of her Uber and pulling the car door open. “I’ll text you,” she calls to Christen, climbing into the car and slamming the door shut behind her.

Christen just nods and waves, turning to walk back into the visiting team locker room to grab her stuff before boarding the bus back to UNC with the rest of the team. She sinks into her seat, frowning at the empty seat next to her before pulling her phone and headphones out. She hopes to see a text from Tobin but only has one from her dad instead. She quickly shoots a text back to him before putting music on and closing her eyes, her hand clutched tightly around her phone, just in case Tobin texts her. Her mind drifts back to the last time Tobin was in camp and how they barely talked the entire time. She’s just starting to panic when her phone buzzes in her hand. She lets out a sigh of relief when she sees Tobin’s name on the screen.

 

**Tobs:** Hey babe, just got through security I have about 20 minutes til I board so I’m just grabbing something to eat on the plane

**Tobs:** Miss you already!

 

Christen grins down at her phone, texting back and forth with Tobin until she has to board her plane, promising to text when she lands. Christen falls asleep a few minutes later, waking up to her phone ringing loudly through her headphones. She squints down at it, rushing to answer when her sleepy eyes focus on Tobin’s name and picture lighting up her screen.

“Tobin?” she answers quietly, conscious of the fact that most of the bus is probably sleeping.

“Hey babe. You home yet?”

Christen yawns and peers out the window before answering. “Not yet. Soon I think.”

“Did I wake you?” 

“Mhm, but it’s okay. I’m glad you did. Where are you?” Christen says softly, leaning her head against the window.

“I’m at the hotel. Actually sitting on the floor in the hallway because HAO is sleeping. I just wanted to talk to you before I went to bed,” Tobin explains, her voice soft. They talk for another 20 minutes, neither wanting to hang up, until the bus pulls back onto campus.

“Go get some sleep babe. Text me tomorrow?” Christen says quietly, her teammates beginning to stir around her. 

“I will. Night Chris. Miss you already,” Tobin answers. 

“I miss you too. Goodnight,” Christen responds before hanging up and tucking her phone into her pocket.

 

Christen spends most of the next day in the library with Alyssa, catching up on readings and starting to study for finals. Tobin texts her sporadically throughout the day, busy with training and recovery and meetings. Christen goes bowling with her roommates and a few teammates that evening, grateful for the distraction from missing Tobin. After bowling she sits in the living room with Julie, Alyssa, Kelley, Sonnett, and Moe, only half tuned in to the conversation as Kelley tries to convince everyone that you can domesticate squirrels. She hops up quickly when her phone starts to buzz, a blush creeping over her cheeks when she realizes everyone in the room is looking at her after her sudden movement. She holds her phone up as explanation, mumbling out a ‘be right back’ before walking briskly towards the door. She pulls the door open, answering her phone as the conversation resumes behind her. 

“Hey babe,” she answers happily, pulling the door shut behind her.

“Hey,” Tobin breathes out, her voice subdued.

“What’s up?” Christen asks, walking down the hall towards one of the study rooms.

“Nothing,” Tobin mutters.

Christen’s brow furrows at Tobin’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

Tobin sighs and is quiet a moment before answering. “Nothing really. I just had a long day. And I’m not starting tomorrow. I’m not sure if I’ll even play at all,” she explains, her voice sounding tired and sad. “And I miss you,” she adds, so softly that Christen can barely hear her. 

Christen pushes the door of the empty study room open, flipping on the lights and sinking into one of the big comfy chairs as she listens to Tobin. “Oh Tobin, I miss you too, but I’ll see you tomorrow night when you get back. And it’s okay that you’re not starting hon. You played 90 minutes yesterday and I’m sure your coaches just wanna make sure you’re not overworked. They wouldn’t have had you fly in just for one day of camp if they didn’t want you there for the game. Even if you don’t play they still wanted you there for any amount of time that you could be there. Even on the bench you’ll be my favorite player there and I’ll be cheering for you.” 

Tobin giggles at this and it’s music to Christen’s ears, happy that she was able to cheer Tobin up even a little bit. “Thanks Chris,” she sighs, her voice a little less somber than it was at the beginning of the phone call.

“Wanna tell me about your day?” Christen asks, swinging her legs up over one armrest of the chair she’s sitting in.

“You first,” Tobin responds, listening as Christen recounts her entire day in great detail before filling her in on her own day, whining about the open practice and media obligations. Finally, after listening to what must be Tobin’s third yawn in a minute, Christen convinces her that she should get some sleep and she stands up and stretches, ready to head back to the suite.

“Wait, hey babe?” Tobin asks quickly before hanging up.

“Mhm?” Christen hums, holding back a yawn herself.

“Would you wanna maybe get me from the airport tomorrow? It’s not a big deal if you can’t, I can just get an Uber.” 

“No, babe I’d love to get you at the airport but I don’t have a car here remember?”

“Oh, I know,” Tobin laughs. “You can drive my Jeep. My keys are somewhere in my room I think. Actually, I think I have my keys but there should be a spare somewhere in my desk. Or my closet.”

“You’re gunna let me drive your Jeep without you? That’s your baby,” Christen says, incredulously. 

“Nah, you’re my baby. I trust you,” Tobin reassures. “Just let me know if you can’t find the keys and I’ll get an Uber alright? I’ll text you my flight info.” 

“Alright, I’ll look for them tonight. Go to sleep. Good luck tomorrow, I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Night babe,” Tobin yawns out before hanging up.

Christen walks back to the suite, not really realizing how long she’d be gone until she gets back into the suite and Kelley goes on and on about how she thought she’d been kidnapped. Christen just laughs, returning to her spot on the couch. 

A little while later she walks into Tobin’s room to look for her spare keys, shocked when she finds them right on top in the first desk drawer she opens. She quickly takes a picture of the keys, texting it to Tobin with the caption, ‘found them! See you tomorrow!’

 

The team has training the next morning, and they hang around in the soccer building all afternoon to watch the national team game projected onto a big screen. The whole team knows that Tobin isn’t starting but they still let out a collective groan when the starting XI is announced and Tobin isn’t in it. They cheer when a shot of the team in a huddle is shown and Tobin is visible on the outskirts of the huddle, her hand resting on a teammate’s shoulder and her gaze off at the crowd instead of focusing on her team. _Typical_ , Christen thinks as the huddle breaks and Tobin seems surprised, her attention snapping back to her team as she misses the cheer they say before heading onto the field or to the bench.

Tobin subs into the game in the 83rd minute, more as a time wasting measure than anything, with the U.S. up 3-1, but the team goes crazy nonetheless. She only gets a few touches on the ball but she still manages to squeeze in some fancy footwork, sending a defender sliding to the ground before getting a cross off that unfortunately goes out for a goal kick. The game ends a few minutes later and the camera pans over the teams mingling in the middle of the pitch. Ali reaches over and pinches Christen’s side when the camera shows Tobin sitting barefoot in the grass and squirting water into her mouth, and Christen swats her hand away, blushing.

 

Several hours later, Christen sits behind the wheel of Tobin’s Jeep in the cell lot, watching planes land and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, anxiously waiting for Tobin to text her. Finally, she gets a text from Tobin and she drives over to the terminal, slowing to a crawl and keeping her eyes peeled for her girlfriend. She spots her orange backpack first, and her face involuntarily breaks into a grin as she pulls over, throws the Jeep in park, and hops out. “Tobin!” she calls out, walking around the front of the Jeep.

Tobin spins around, already smiling widely and grabs her duffle bag, swerving around Christen and heading towards the Jeep. “Hey,” she says breathlessly, pulling the back door open and tossing her duffle bag in. Christen’s brow furrows and her smile falls at the lack of a greeting as she watches Tobin slam the door shut. “Let’s go. I’ll drive,” Tobin says, walking around to the driver’s side and hopping in. Christen frowns, climbing into the passenger seat, barely having time to pull the door shut before Tobin’s peeling out and speeding down the airport roads towards the freeway.

“Slow down,” Christen warns, clicking her seatbelt before looking over at Tobin. “So great to see you too,” she says sarcastically. Tobin swerves and makes a right into the parking lot of a hotel instead of continuing onto the freeway and Christen’s eyebrows shoot up, looking out the windshield before looking at Tobin in confusion.

Tobin speeds through the parking lot and pulls into a spot in the back corner, throwing the Jeep in park and cutting the lights. “Tobin what the fuck is going on? What are we-” Christen’s words are cut off when Tobin leans across the console, grabbing her face and kissing her hard. Christen is too surprised to react at first but she quickly melts into the kiss, turning her body and bringing her hands up to Tobin’s face. Tobin finally pulls back, breathing hard, a lopsided grin on her face.

“Sorry,” she whispers, still holding Christen’s face. She leans in and pecks her on the lips again before continuing. “I really wanted to do that when I first saw you but I didn’t wanna risk anyone seeing,” she explains apologetically.

Christen’s brow furrows as they lean back into their seats, confused as to why Tobin would be embarrassed to be seen kissing her. “Who would see?”

Tobin shrugs, her smile faltering. “I don’t know, just anyone. Like fans. I mean I don’t think there’s really any doubts, but I’m not technically out to the public and I kinda would like to keep it that way if that’s okay?” she says quietly, looking down at her hands. “I just like my privacy and I wanna keep you to myself. People would just harass you if they find out that you’re my girlfriend.”

Christen reaches across the console to grab Tobin’s hand. “Yeah, that’s okay Tobs. I don’t mind keeping this private. I just like don’t want it to be a secret. Like I want to tell my friends and family and the team.” 

Tobin nods, squeezing her hand. “Yeah, no, I don’t mean we should keep us a secret or not tell anyone I just mean, like, I don’t know. I don’t think we need to put our relationship on our social media or be really obvious in public if that’s okay? I’m fine with people that know us personally knowing we’re together, but I don’t need everyone who knows who I am to know my personal life. I’m sorry,” she sighs, looking down at her lap.

“No, don’t apologize. That’s okay with me Tobs. I don’t want all your fans to get jealous that I get to do this,” she laughs, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Tobin’s jaw. Tobin smiles, turning her head and capturing Christen’s lips before she can lean back into her seat.

“You’re the best,” she grins. “Ready to go home?”

Christen nods, squeezing Tobin’s hand again before releasing it so she can drive. When they get back to the suite, they both get ready for bed and Christen heads into Tobin’s room. “I have something for you,” Tobin grins at her, rolling out of bed and grabbing her backpack.

“You do?” Christen asks, surprised as she climbs onto the bed and watches Tobin unzip her backpack.

“Mhm,” she hums, rummaging through the big pocket of her bag. “I know it’s like super cheesy to celebrate a one month anniversary but this is the longest relationship that I’ve ever been in so I thought we should celebrate a little anyway. And I wasn’t here yesterday so I got you something to make up for it,” Tobin explains, her hands behind her back.

Christen’s eyes widen and her cheeks redden. “I, uh, I don’t- I didn’t get you anything in return,” she stutters out, embarrassed.

Tobin just laughs, walking closer. “That’s okay, I didn’t expect you to. It’s not a fancy gift or anything, just a little something.”

Christen feels a little better and she holds her hands out, smiling. “Okay, lemme see,” she says, impatiently.

Tobin drops something wrapped in red cloth into her lap, a huge grin on her face. Christen unwraps it and finds a gold pen with South Carolina etched onto it. “That’s from the airport in Columbia. I tested it out and it works pretty good so you can use it to write in your planner or whatever,” Tobin explains.

“I love it,” Christen replies, picking up the other item, a tin with Georgia emblazoned on the front.

“And that’s candy. The lady at the airport gift shop in Atlanta told me they’re the best peach candies in the state but we can be the judge of that.”

Christen smiles, clutching the pen in one hand and the tin of candies in the other. “Thank you Tobin. I love them both. You’re the best,” she leans forward, puckering her lips for a kiss.

Tobin laughs and leans in, pecking her on the lips before leaning back. “Okay, but this is your real gift,” she says, pointing at the red cloth in Christen’s lap.

Christen puts down her gifts and picks it up, shaking it out and laughing when she realizes that it’s a U.S. soccer jersey. “A jersey?” 

Tobin nods enthusiastically. “Not just any jersey. Turn it around! It’s a game worn and signed jersey from the hottest and most talented player on the entire national team!” 

Christen flips the jersey around, smiling at ‘HEATH’ and ‘17’ on the back of the jersey. In the top part of the number 7 Tobin’s messy scrawl reads ‘To my #1 fan, I’m your #1 fan too’ with her signature scrawled next to it.

Christen is smiling so wide that her cheeks hurt. “Do you like it?” Tobin asks excitedly. 

Christen nods enthusiastically, tracing her finger over the message Tobin had written her. “I love it,” she whispers reverently, rereading it again.

“Okay, good because I didn’t exactly tell anyone that I was taking it. Usually we just leave our jerseys after the game,” Tobin admits.

Christen looks up at her then, wrinkling her nose. “Wait did you say game worn? No wonder it stinks,” she teases, dramatically holding the jersey with just her thumb and index finger.

Tobin raises both eyebrows at her. “Oh, you don’t want it? Fine, I’ll go give it to someone else. Your names not on there, KO won’t know the difference,” she threatens, reaching out to take it from Christen.

Christen pulls her hand back, clutching the jersey to her chest. “No! I’m just teasing you. I’m not giving this back,” she says, grinning.

Tobin nods, withdrawing her hand. “That’s what I thought.”

  

Monday and Tuesday are crazy busy for the team, between classes and intense trainings and team meetings, preparing for their trip to California for the NCAA tournament semifinals, and hopefully finals. On Tuesday evening Christen is sitting on her floor, finishing up some packing while Tobin sits at her desk ‘working’ on a paper, which apparently consists of a lot of whining and watching clips from La Liga games online. “Hey Tobs,” Christen calls, folding a t-shirt and placing it into her duffle bag. 

“Yeah?” she answers, not turning around. 

“When’s your last final?”

Tobin pauses the clip she’s watching and pushes the chair back, turning to look at Christen. “I don’t know. Did you ask Cheney?”

Christen rolls her eyes, zipping the side pocket of her duffle bag. “No, Tobin. I’m asking you.”

Tobin puts her elbow on the back of the chair and rests her chin in her hand, looking at Christen thoughtfully. “You don’t wanna ask Cheney?”

Christen looks up at her and Tobin grins back at her, her smile momentarily distracting Christen before she regains her focus. “I don’t want to have to ask Cheney. Do you know when your flight home is?”

Tobin laughs a little and shakes her head, her chin still resting on her hand. “I haven’t gotten tickets yet. But Allie texted me yesterday that her and Lex are going to Hawaii with one of my UCLA teammates for a week when their break starts so probably I’ll fly there instead of going home right away,” Tobin explains, her eyes suddenly widening as she sits up straighter. “Hey! You should come with me!” she exclaims excitedly. “You already know Alex and Allie and you’d love Mana. I can teach you how to surf!”

Christen’s eyes widen, listening to Tobin babble about all the fun things they could do in Hawaii, a wide grin on her face. “Tobin,” Christen says loudly, cutting her off mid sentence. “I can’t go to Hawaii with you.”

Tobin’s face falls and she looks at Christen with a furrowed brow. “You can’t? But why not?” she asks, her voice petulant and her lips pouty.

Christen sighs and shakes her head. “Because Tobin. Break is like two weeks away! I can’t just spontaneously fly to Hawaii. I already have my tickets to fly home and I already have plans once I’m home. I made arrangements for training and plans with friends and I made appointments for check ups with my eye doctor and my dentist and my parents are having a welcome home dinner for me,” Christen explains, rattling off all of the reasons that she can’t go with Tobin.

Tobin’s nose wrinkles and she frowns at Christen. “You’d rather go to the dentist than to Hawaii with me?” 

Christen huffs, pushing her duffle bag in front of her closet and laying out her clothes for the next morning on top of it. “No, of course not. I’d love to go to Hawaii with you Tobs. It’s just not feasible for me to do it in two weeks.”

“Alright,” Tobin sighs dejectedly.

Christen walks over, stepping in between the chair and her desk, standing in front of Tobin and putting her hands on her shoulders. “You can still go. But you probably should look into tickets ASAP. They’re going to cost you a fortune, you know. You and I can go another time, okay?”

Tobin shrugs, looking up at Christen. “Promise?”

Christen nods, and holds out her hand in front of Tobin, pinky up. “Pinky promise,” she says seriously.

Tobin reaches out and interlocks their pinkies. “Should we seal it with a kiss?” she asks, grinning up at Christen. Christen looks down at Tobin, a sense of wonderment on her face that Tobin remembers that she seals pinky promises with a kiss. She thinks back to their last pinky promise on an early September morning in the middle of the soccer field, just after Tobin had asked her on a date for the first time, following it up with a promise to do her best to stop shutting down or running away from problems.

“You remember?” she whispers.

Tobin nods and leans forward, kissing her thumb. “Now you,” she says, still smiling her radiant smile.

Christen leans down kissing her thumb before pulling their hands out of the way and kissing Tobin’s lips too. Tobin starts kissing her back and tugs on her hips so Christen is straddling Tobin’s lap in her desk chair. Tobin’s hands slide under the waistband of her sweatpants, grabbing her ass while they make out. Christen rolls her hips into Tobin once, but they’re startled apart when her bedroom door swings open. They lean back quickly and both look towards the door, Tobin’s hands still down Christen’s sweatpants.

“Oh my god,” Kelley groans, surveying the scene in front of her. “Get a room.”

Christen laughs, pulling Tobin’s hands off of her and standing up to straighten out her clothes and fix her hair. “Technically this is my room,” she reminds Kelley. 

Kelley starts pulling clothes out to sleep in, taking off her t shirt and throwing it at Christen. “At least like put a sign on the door next time. Or better yet, go to Tobin’s room since she doesn’t have a roommate. And go now because I’m gunna get naked. Or you could stay, whatever, up to you,” she says shrugging, kicking her shoes off and pulling her shorts down so she’s standing in her underwear.

Tobin slams her laptop shut and picks it up, grabbing Christen’s hand as she tugs her towards the door. Christen grabs her phone, laughing and allowing herself to be led out of her room. “Night KO,” Tobin calls, laughing as they slam the door shut behind them and head towards Tobin’s room for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Life has been crazy lately. I think this story is winding down but I still have a few more chapters to go. Lemme know what ya think


	29. So very charming

The team flies out Wednesday evening, landing in San Jose late Wednesday night and going straight to the hotel to go to sleep. Christen is assigned to room with Kelley, but after the long day of travel even Kelley is quiet and goes right to bed when they get up in to their room.

They train the next day, adjusting to the jet lag and getting ready for their game on Friday. Christen’s parents make the five and a half hour drive up to San Jose on Thursday and she gets permission to have dinner with them that night.

Christen gets ready for dinner with a half an hour to spare before her parents come to pick her up. She heads down the hall to Tobin’s room, double checking the room number on her phone before knocking. Kling answers, smiling at her with a slightly confused expression. “What’s up Pressy?” she questions, leaning against the door.

“Hey Kling, is Tobin in there? I need to talk to her,” Christen explains, trying to seem casual.

“Oh yeah, she’s here. But she’s sleeping,” Kling explains, not moving out of the doorway.

“That’s okay. I’ll wake her up. She won’t mind,” Christen reassures.

Kling seems to take a hint then, nodding and stepping back into the room, holding the door open. “Okay. I’m just gunna grab my phone and key and go see what Moe is up to. See ya later,” she whispers as Christen follows her into the room, grabbing her things off the night table and waving as she walks back to the door.

Christen waves back and watches the door shut behind her before turning back around. Tobin is curled up on her side on the bed closest to the door and Christen walks between the two beds, crouching down a bit. Tobin has the blankets wrapped around her and pulled up over the side of her head, her face just visible. She looks peaceful and adorable and Christen can’t help but lean forward and gently kiss her forehead. Tobin doesn’t even stir so Christen reaches out and puts her hand on her shoulder through the thick comforter. “Tobin,” she says softly. Tobin’s eyelids flutter and her lips, that had been slightly parted, purse together, her eyebrows drawing in slightly, but she doesn’t open her eyes. “Tobin, baby, wake up,” she whispers, trying to rub her hand over Tobin’s arm through the blankets.

Tobin stirs this time, her eyelids slowly opening before she squeezes them shut. She brings a hand up from under the blankets and scratches her nose, before pulling the blankets off of her face. Christen brushes the hair back off of Tobin’s forehead and watches her eyes blink open. “Chris?’ she mumbles, her eyes closing again.

“Yeah it’s me,” Christen says softly. “You’re sleepy, huh?”

Tobin nods, and lifts up the blankets, patting the spot in front of her. “C’mere,” she whispers.

Christen checks the time on her phone and sees that she still has twenty five minutes to spare so she relents, kicking her shoes off and climbing onto the bed. Tobin immediately cuddles up to her, practically laying on top of her and clutching onto her t shirt. Christen rubs her hand over the warm skin of Tobin’s back under her shirt and tilts her head down, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Tobin just hums and snuggles closer, throwing a leg over Christen’s. Christen smiles looking down at her girlfriend. Sleepy Tobin, might just be Christen’s favorite, she thinks, all soft and warm and clingy. After a few minutes though Tobin sighs and wiggles around, turning and placing her chin on Christen’s chest. “Hi,” she breathes out, a small smile playing at her lips.

“Hey,” Christen answers, grinning back at her. “You awake now?”

Tobin nods, her eyes crinkling shut as her mouth stretches into a yawn. “What time is it? Did you already have dinner with your parents?”

Christen shakes her head, turning to look at the alarm clock on the night table. “Not yet, they should be here to get me in like 15, 20 minutes. I wanted to talk to you first.”

Tobin’s face turns serious at that and she looks at Christen with a wide-eyed look. “Did I do something wrong?”

Christen shakes her head, her fingers still dancing over Tobin’s bare back. “No, no nothing like that,” she reassures, watching Tobin’s face soften. “I just want to tell them about you, and I wanted to check with you and make sure that’s okay first.” 

Tobin leans up, reaching across Christen for a water bottle off the night table before sitting up. “Tell them what about me?” she questions, sipping the water.

Christen sits up as well, leaning back against the headboard and looking over at Tobin with a confused expression. “I mean I want to tell them that we’re together. That you’re my girlfriend,” she clarifies, watching Tobin’s expression carefully. 

Tobin nods thoughtfully, looking down and picking at the label of the water bottle. After a few seconds, she looks up to meet Christen’s eyes. “Okay. Do you think they’ll like me?” she asks, uncharacteristically unsure sounding.

Christen feels a tug in her chest and she reaches for Tobin’s hand. “Of course they will Tobs. You’re talented and funny and you make me so happy. Plus, I think you already had my mom charmed after only talking to her for like 2 minutes the last time we were in California.”

Tobin’s lips turn up in a smirk and she turns her body to face Christen. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty charming, huh?”

Christen rolls her eyes but smiles back at Tobin nonetheless. “Sure babe,” she says, sarcastically.

Tobin stretches her arms out and leans forward to look at the clock. “So, wanna make out 'til your parents get here?” she asks casually, tossing her empty water bottle in the direction of the trashcan.

Christen laughs, raising her eyebrows at Tobin. She shakes her head, turning her body and leaning in. “So very charming,” she mutters before connecting their lips.

Christen pulls back when her phone dings on the night table behind her. Tobin tries to chase her lips but groans and flops back on the bed dramatically when Christen sits up, leaning out of Tobin’s reach. “I gotta go, my parents are here,” she explains, slightly out of breath as she reads the text from her mom.

“But your charming girlfriend is here too and your parents can’t do this,” Tobin complains, her hand drifting under Christen’s shirt to cup her breast over her bra. Christen pulls Tobin’s hand out, swatting it away. 

“I don’t want my parents to do that,” she laughs, standing up and straightening out her clothes.

“But I wanna do that,” Tobin whines, pouting up at her.

“Sorry babe. Rain check,” she promises, leaning in to peck Tobin on the lips before sliding her shoes on. “I’ll text you when I get back so we can say good night okay?” she confirms, looking at Tobin before walking towards the door.

Tobin nods, leaning up to watch her go. “Have fun. See ya in a few hours.”

 

Christen doesn’t get the chance to even bring up Tobin until dinner is winding down and her dad has already asked for the check. “Hey, you guys know Tobin?” she asks casually, leaning forward to sip her water.

Her mom nods from across the table. “Yeah, your roommate? She was in the Olympics right? Nice girl,” she responds wistfully, probably thinking back to the one time she had met Tobin. 

Her dad looks up after signing the check. “What number is she?” 

Christen’s brow furrows as she responds, slightly confused. “Uh, 17?”

Her dad nods then, recognition crossing his face. “Okay, I know who you’re talking about. Midfielder. She’s very talented.”

Christen nods. “Right, yeah, she’s crazy good,” she says, smiling.

Her mom looks at her patiently. “What about her sweetie?”

Christen swallows, suddenly nervous. “Right, um, so Tobin is my roommate, like you said. And my teammate, obviously. So like, we spend a ton of time together, right? Uh, so maybe Tobin can come visit us over winter break?” she stutters out, cursing herself for not being more straightforward. 

Christen swears a faint look of relief crosses her mom’s face before she smiles and nods enthusiastically. “Of course she can! Do you want to invite anyone else? You know your friends are always welcome.” 

Christen sighs and shakes her head. “No Mom. Tobin isn’t just my friend,” she explains, noting the looks of confusion on her parents’ faces. “She’s, well, she’s my girlfriend,” Christen stutters out, her face turning red. 

Her parents are quiet for a moment before her dad speaks up, laughing. “My baby, getting herself an Olympian for a girlfriend. Proud of you,” he grins across the table.

Christen lets out a relieved breath, her gaze drifting over to her mom, who’s smile is a bit tighter than her dad’s. “That’s great Christen,” her mom claims, unconvincingly as she folds and refolds her cloth napkin. “How long has that been going on?”

“Um, I guess since like the middle of September but it wasn’t really official until the end of October,” she explains, watching her mom’s reaction carefully.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner sweetheart?” her mom asks, a sad smile on her face. “You know you can tell us anything. I feel like we’re missing out on so much of your life with you all the way across the country.” 

Christen’s eyes widen, watching her mom get choked up. “Mom, no. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to tell you in person. I wasn’t really sure how you’d react because I’ve never dated a girl before and I didn’t want to tell you over the phone or on Facetime. You’re not missing out on anything, I promise. Plus, I’m about to be home for a whole month and it’ll be like I never left,” she reassures, reaching for her mom’s hand over the table.

Her mom squeezes her hand and dabs at her eyes. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m being silly. We just miss our baby,” she responds, laughing a little. “So tell us about Tobin! I only met her briefly but she seemed friendly enough. She’s very pretty,” her mom comments, her eyes sparkling as she smiles knowingly at Christen. 

Christen blushes and nods. “Yeah, she’s pretty and she’s funny and confident and spontaneous. She always remembers the little things, like my coffee order or my favorite candy, and she’s really sweet. I think you guys will like her a lot. She makes me really happy.”

Christen smiles subconsciously, thinking about Tobin, and her parents smile back at her widely. “So, when are you going to officially introduce us?” her dad asks, sipping the last of his wine.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Christen shrugs. “She was thinking of coming just after New Year’s so I’ll introduce you then I guess.”

 

Once back at the hotel, Christen texts Tobin and they meet up in Christen’s room, pleased that Kelley isn’t there. They lay in bed and Tobin rubs Christen’s back and listens to her recap dinner. When Kelley returns, Tobin presses a quick kiss to Christen’s sleepy lips before reluctantly heading off to bed in her own room.

  

The next day the team is completely focused and ready to face off against West Virginia in the College Cup semifinals. It’ll be the first time they play West Virginia but after a week of meetings and film sessions, the Tar Heels are confident that they have what it takes to beat them. Tobin is more determined than Christen has ever seen and she spends the entire morning talking strategy to anyone that will listen. 

When they board the bus to take them from the hotel to the stadium, Tobin is already in her seat waiting and she tugs at Christen impatiently while she puts her stuff down and gets situated. “What Tobin?” she asks when Tobin pulls on her t shirt for the third time, trying to get her attention. 

“Sit down, I want to show you something,” she explains, holding her phone up. Christen sits down, pushing her bag between her feet before turning her attention to Tobin. “Look at this,” Tobin says, leaning her head close to Christen’s and tilting her phone towards her. She presses play and shows Christen a clip of a player dribbling at defender and getting the ball stolen away. 

Christen looks up at Tobin confused but Tobin just gestures back at the phone and swipes to play another clip of the same defender but a different attacking team. The player in this video is able to beat out the defender and get a shot off. Tobin shows her three more videos, all with varying outcomes. “Okay? What are you showing me?” Christen says questioningly when Tobin reaches the last clip.

“You see?” Tobin says, swiping back to play one of the clips again. “I couldn’t sleep last night so I was going over game films again. This is West Virginia’s star center back. She’s obviously good and if you dribble at her and give her a chance she’ll tackle the ball away every time. She and the other center back are fast so it’ll be hard to beat out the line on a run. You see how you can beat her though? She’s slow to turn. She’s fast, but you’re faster. If you cut the ball you’ll be able to blaze right past her before she’s able to turn to follow,” Tobin explains excitedly.

“Let me see?” Christen asks, reaching for the phone and replaying one of the clips. “You’re right,” she nods, watching the defender’s movements. “Thanks babe.”

Tobin just nods in response, pulling the phone out of Christen’s hands. “I’ll be right back. I wanna show Becky something about one of their strikers.”

 

By the time the team is in the locker room at the stadium, almost everyone has had a quick conversation with Tobin and her phone is almost dead. Christen is seriously doubting that Tobin even slept the night before with the amount of knowledge and video clips she has on the opposing team, but she seems to have even more energy than usual, bouncing on the balls of her feet and pointing excitedly at her phone as she explains all the ways they can exploit West Virginia’s weaknesses.

 

The Tar Heel’s take the field, feeling more than prepared for the game, and Christen looks around, making eye contact with Tobin. Tobin grins confidently, subtly tapping her chest in a silent reminder to play from her heart and not get too caught up in her head. Christen smiles back at her and nods, her attention snapping forward when the whistle blows to start the game.

As much as the Tar Heels had prepared, West Virginia is coming back just as hard, a spot in the college cup finals on the line. The Tar Heels dominate possession in the first half but they have a hard time breaking through West Virginia’s defensive shell. The half ends scoreless, with only a few chances each way.

The team regroups in the locker room and Tobin is talking excitedly before anyone else has a chance to speak up. She breathlessly points out some things the team is doing well and explains the ways that she thinks they can improve for the next half. After a minute or so she trails off, realizing that Anson is standing next to her, looking at her with a mixture of amusement and surprise. Tobin’s face flushes and she quickly sits down in front of her locker, squirting water into her mouth and wiping at her chin with the back of her hand.

Anson claps his hands to regain everyone’s attention, thanking Tobin and reiterating some of her points before making some tactical changes for the second half. Becky and Cheney give quick pep talks as well, followed by a few words from Ashlyn before the team heads back out to the field. 

“You making a move for my captain role?” Cheney jokes, jostling Tobin as they walk out of the locker room. Tobin just shakes her head, her cheeks still red but a smile on her face. 

“Not interested,” she replies, falling into step next to Christen. 

“I think you’d be a great captain,” Christen says lowly, leaning into Tobin’s side. 

“Too much responsibility,” Tobin quips, grinning at Christen before jogging to catch up with Ashlyn.

The second half starts similar to the first, a battle for the midfield with a lot of possession, but not a lot of opportunities on goal. Finally, in the 73rd minute Tobin sends a perfectly timed ball that splits two defenders and Christen gets to it first, having just the other center back and the keeper between her and the goal. She recognizes the defender immediately and after a quick look at her stance, makes a split second decision of what she’s going to do.

She slows down and takes one touch outside, the defender also slowing and keeping her back to goal, facing Christen. Christen moves to take another touch but at the last second she cuts the ball back, slotting it between the defenders legs and turning, her arms waving in the air as she works to keep control of her body at the sudden change in direction. Just as expected, the defender is slow to turn and Christen is already blazing into the box before she’s able to turn and start to sprint after her. The keeper charges out but Christen taps the ball slightly to the left with the inside of her right foot, side stepping the diving keeper before coolly passing the ball into the net with her left foot. 

Christen turns around, her arms thrown out wide as she runs towards her teammates. Cheney gets there first and Christen jumps up, wrapping her legs around Cheney and pumping a fist into the air, a huge smile on her face. Cheney turns towards the team, dropping Christen onto her feet so she can accept hugs from the rest of her teammates. Tobin grabs her shoulders from behind as they jog back towards their half, slowing her down. 

“Nice one Chris, but that nutmeg was just showing off,” she teases, patting Christen’s back before jogging off to the wing. Christen glances up at the stands, trying to spot her parents but gives up after a few seconds, turning her attention back to the ball when West Virginia restarts the game.

The rest of the game is all about determination and grit as West Virginia fights to equalize and North Carolina works to keep them scoreless. The last few minutes of the game seem to pass in slow motion but as soon as the final whistle blows the team mobs together on the field, yelling and hugging in excitement.

The excitement continues in the locker room, where music is blaring and everyone seems to be yelling and cheering at once. Cheney finally climbs on a chair and whistles to get everyone’s attention. She wears a serious expression and clears her throat as if about to begin a speech but her face quickly changes to a grin. “WE’RE GOING TO THE COLLEGE CUP HEELS!” she screams, before hopping off the chair, laughing as the team cheers.

 

Back at the hotel, the team gets off the bus and walks to one of the hotel’s meeting rooms for a catered dinner and almost everyone has their parents or other family members waiting there. Christen beelines to her family, tackling her little sister in a hug. She hugs her parents and her older sister next before looking over at the food, her stomach growling. She glances around the room and sees Tobin walking in the door with Kelley, laughing and shoving each other. Kelley punches Tobin in the arm and skips over to her parents. Tobin watches her go, laughing and rubbing at her bicep. Her eyes flit around the room and the smile fades from her face.

Christen is about to go get her and drag her over to her own table, knowing that she doesn’t have any family here, when she see’s Tobin’s eyes light up and the grin return to her face. She walks across the room, dropping her backpack to the floor and stepping into a woman’s waiting arms. Christen quickly recognizes her as Cheney’s mom and watches her hug Tobin tightly, talking into her ear and not letting go for a long time. Christen isn’t aware that she’s staring until Channing elbows her ribs and leans closer.

“That’s Tobin, right?” she whispers, following Christen’s gaze to where Cheney’s mom is now holding Tobin by the shoulders, talking to her with a smile. Tobin throws her head back in laughter and Christen finds herself smiling involuntarily, nodding in response to Channing’s question. 

“She’s pretty,” Channing comments, both of them watching Tobin hug ARod’s parents. 

“Yeah,” Christen sighs, having a hard time tearing her gaze away from Tobin, who must feel her staring because she looks around, catching Christen’s eye and sending a wink and a smile her way before turning back to her conversation with ARod’s sister. Christen blushes as she grins in Tobin’s direction. 

“Oh my god, you’ve got it bad,” Channing teases, pushing at Christen and turning back to their parents. Christen rolls her eyes and swats Channing’s hands away but her attention stays on Tobin, watching Cheney’s mom fuss over her for a little longer before she finally turns back to her family.

After everyone’s had dinner and socialized with their families, Anson grabs their attention. He encourages everyone to follow recovery protocol and get to bed early. He also lets them know that they’re free to get breakfast with their families the next morning as long as they’re back in time for an 11am team meeting. By the time his speech is done, the celebration feels over and everyone’s focus has shifted to the final on Sunday.

Christen barely sees Tobin that night, just a quick goodnight in the hallway before they head into their rooms to go to bed. “Are you going to breakfast with Cheney’s family in the morning?” Christen asks before they part ways.

Tobin shakes her head. “Nah, I think I’m just gunna sleep in. See you at the meeting?”

“Yupp, goodnight babe,” Christen says, leaning in to kiss Tobin once more before turning to her room.

“Night,” Tobin calls, walking backwards down the hall and watching Christen unlock her door and slip into the room before she turns and goes to her own room.

 

The next morning Christen yawns, walking out of the elevator to find her parents so they can go meet her sisters for breakfast. She sees them sitting on a couch in the lobby and is walking towards them when she hears her name called from behind her. She turns around and smiles when she sees Tobin walking towards her, barefoot, in baggy sweatpants and a tank top, a cup of coffee from the hotel’s breakfast room in her hands. 

“Morning gorgeous,” she says once she’s standing in front of Christen, and she looks like she’s going to lean in for a kiss but stops when she sees Christen’s parents walking towards them.

“Hey, why are you up so early?” Christen asks, glancing over her shoulder as her parents approach.

Tobin shrugs and sips her coffee. “Woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. I was gunna watch some game film,” she explains. “Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Press,” she smiles shyly as Christen’s parents reach them. 

“Good morning Tobin,” her mom beams, looking between the two.

“Call us Cody and Stacy,” her dad insists. “You had a helluva game yesterday. That assist was beautiful,” he comments, clapping Tobin on the back. 

Tobin chews her bottom lip and blushes down at her coffee, a rare sight that Christen savors. “Thanks,” Tobin mumbles, looking up and meeting Christen’s eyes. “That goal might as well have been unassisted though. Christen did all the work.”

“The two of you have been a force to be reckoned with this season,” her dad says, and Tobin’s cheeks flush even more. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says quietly. “I’ll let you guys go though. See you at the meeting Chris,” she says, looking up at Christen and taking a small step towards the elevators.

“Oh Tobin, why don’t you join us for breakfast?” Christen’s mom asks cheerily, smiling at Tobin. “Our treat, I’m sure you’re sick of the hotel food. We’ll have you girls back before your team meeting.”

Tobin smiles back but Christen can tell it’s a little forced, and she quickly glances at Christen with wide eyes but Christen only shrugs, not sure how to get Tobin out of this. Tobin turns back to her mom and nods. “Uh sure, I just need to run upstairs and get my shoes,” she says, pointing down at her bare feet.

Her mom clasps her hands together happily. “Great. We’ll wait here.”

Tobin nods, the forced smile still on her face and she raises her eyebrows at Christen before turning and heading to the elevator.

“Mom,” Christen groans, drawing the word out dramatically as she falls into one of the armchairs in the lobby. 

“What?” her mom asks, holding up her hands innocently. 

Christen doesn’t answer, opting instead to take out her phone and shoot a quick text to Tobin saying ‘sorry!’ with a kiss face emoji. She locks her phone and looks back at her parents. “Look just go easy on her okay? Don’t ask about her family,” she rushes out, looking around before leaning closer and lowering her voice. “Her mom died when she was 12 and she doesn’t get along well with her dad but please don’t bring it up, okay?”

Her mom gasps at the new information and glances towards the elevators sadly. “Oh poor thing. I was wondering why she wouldn’t be with her parents this morning.” 

“She doesn’t like to talk about it so don’t. Just act normal, okay?” she looks between her parents with narrowed eyes. Her mom nods, the concerned look still on her face and her dad holds his hands up innocently before turning back to the news.

A few minutes later, the elevator opens and Tobin walks out, having changed into jeans and a hoodie, with sneakers on her feet. Her hair is pulled back in a bun and she’s put on some make up, her hands fiddling with her phone as she walks out of the elevator and looks around the lobby, smiling when she locks eyes with Christen.

“Sorry, I didn’t bring nicer clothes or anything,” Tobin says lowly to Christen as they trail behind her parents to the parking lot.

Christen grabs her hand and squeezes it reassuringly. “You look great, don’t worry. Are you nervous?” she questions, looking over at Tobin biting her lip, her hand sweaty in Christen’s. 

Tobin shakes her head quickly, taking a deep breath and pulling her hand away to wipe on her jeans before grabbing Christen’s again. “No. I don’t get nervous,” she denies. “Is it just us and your parents?” 

Christen rolls her eyes at Tobin’s refusal to admit her nerves. “No, we’re meeting Tyler and Channing at the restaurant.”

“Cool,” Tobin nods, chewing her bottom lip again as they reach the car.

 

Tobin really had no reason to be nervous, Christen thinks, watching in amazement as she completely charms her entire family, who seem to have forgotten that Christen even exists, all of their attention on Tobin.

“Christen, come to the bathroom with me,” Tyler demands, across the table from Christen. Christen looks over at Tobin, but she’s busy recounting some story about getting lost in Brazil that has her parents and younger sister nearly in tears from laughing, so she pushes back and follows Tyler through the restaurant.

“She seems great Chris,” Tyler says as she walks into the stall.

“She is great,” Christen replies, going into the stall next to Tyler.

Tyler hums in response and Christen isn’t entirely sure if it’s in agreement or disagreement. “Mom and dad seem to love her already. Even Channing warmed up to her quickly,” she comments.

“And you?” Christen asks, a little worried about not having her sister's approval.

Tyler doesn’t answer until they’re washing their hands side by side. “No one is good enough for my baby sister,” Tyler says, holding her finger up when Christen opens her mouth to protest. “But she does seem pretty amazing, Chris. If she hurts you I’ll hurt her back ten times worse though. Make sure she knows that.”

Christen rolls her eyes and dries her hands. “Sure Ty,” she says, throwing her balled up paper towel at her sister, who laughs and swats it away. 

Tobin beams up at Christen when they get back to the table and Christen’s heart skips a beat, still in disbelief that Tobin is hers as she sits down and grins back at her.

“So Tobin, Christen said you were planning on coming to stay with us over winter break?” her mom asks, pulling their attention away from each other. 

Tobin nods, sipping her juice. “Yeah, I was thinking of coming in January if that’s okay. January camp is in California so I’ll need to come out here for that anyway, if I get called in.” 

“January camp?” her mom asks. 

“For the national team, mom,” Christen explains.

“Oh that’s right. You might get invited to that Tobin?” 

“Maybe,” Tobin shrugs.

“She’s being modest,” Christen says. “She’ll be called in,” she says confidently, smiling at Tobin. 

The rest of breakfast passes quickly, the conversation flowing easily. Christen’s parents drop them back off at the hotel after and Tobin seems a little surprised when Christen’s mom pulls her into a huge hug after hugging Christen.

“I’m so glad we got to spend some time with you Tobin!” her mom exclaims, pulling back from the hug. “Good luck tomorrow girls!” she calls, getting back into the car and waving.

Christen and Tobin hurry back into the hotel, only a few minutes to spare before the team meeting. The rest of the day is spent on preparation for the final and the whole team is focused on the game. They beat USC once before but it was early in the season and was a tough game, the Tar Heels barely eeking out a 1-0 win.

  

The team has a sense of quiet determination before the game on Sunday. It’s a little intimidating, glancing around the stadium to see more fans than they’ve ever played in front of before, but once they’re back in the locker room after warm ups, the focus is back on the game and the crowd is forgotten. Christen listens to Anson and Cheney’s pep talks with closed eyes and her head tilted back, focusing on breathing slow and deep in an attempt to ward off her nerves. 

When Cheney is done, they only have a few minutes before they need to head out onto the field and Christen’s eyes snap open, searching the room for a familiar pair of soft brown eyes. Tobin is staring back at her with a grin and saunters over, confident as ever.

“Nervous?” Tobin asks, plopping down in the chair next to Christen.

Christen nods, double checking that her laces are tight and still trying to focus on keeping her breathing slow and steady.

“Look at me,” Tobin demands, pulling her attention away from her socks that she just can’t seem to get even. She waits until Christen is looking back at her to continue. “Don’t think about the crowds or the trophy or anything else okay? It’s just soccer and that’s what you’re good at. You and me, okay? This game is ours. We got this,” Tobin finishes confidently, smiling at Christen.

And admittedly, it’s not a great pep talk and it’s all things she’s heard before but Tobin’s voice is slow and calm and she speaks with such conviction that Christen wouldn’t dare doubt her. She nods and feels herself smiling back at Tobin, her uneven socks and breathing exercises forgotten.

“Look,” Tobin says as they walk towards the door out of the locker room. She holds her hand out, palm up and points at the tape around her wrist. Christen squints to read the tiny letters, and her face lights up when she makes out the ‘CP23’ in Tobin’s messy scrawl. She looks back up at Tobin with a sense of wonderment. “You and me,” Tobin grins, leaning in to kiss Christen’s cheek before pushing the door open and following their teammates to the field. 

The game feels like the ending of a cheesy sports movie for the Tar Heels. They go up early on a beautiful long range strike by Cheney, assisted by Ali. They get a few more shots and USC settles into the game, getting a couple of chances of their own, but they hold them scoreless, ending the half up 1-0.

The second half starts similar to the first, with UNC on the attack and USC struggling to get organized. Tobin puts on a footwork clinic on the sideline, getting the crowd hyped as she weaves her way around defenders, cutting inside and then back out to the wing, the ball never straying far from her foot. Christen sprints into the box, anticipating Tobin’s cross and she barely has to move a step when the ball comes lofting right to her. The cross is high and Christen jumps, her eyes closing in disbelief when she feels her head come in contact with the ball. 

Her eyes snap back open as she lands on her feet and hears the crowd cheering. She’s shocked to see the USC keeper stretched across the ground and the ball in the back of the net. She spins to see Tobin running towards her and she points at her head, her mouth open but no words coming out as Tobin reaches her and crushes her into a hug, spinning her around before their teammates reach them. “What the hell was that?” Cheney yells, laughing and grabbing Christen as soon as Tobin releases her. Christen just laughs and shrugs, as her other teammates grab at her and pat her on the head.

USC never really regains their composure after the second goal and Tobin tacks on a third in the 82nd minute to secure the win for the Tar Heels. The on field celebrations after the final whistle are a blur. The team hoists the trophy, a mob of cheering girls with their hands in the air, all trying to get a hand on the trophy with their other hand proudly holding one finger up. Christen looks up and locks eyes with Tobin across the circle and for a moment, with the confetti falling around them and the cheers of their teammates nearly deafening, Christen can picture this as their future. She can almost imagine this as a World Cup win or an Olympic gold, her and Tobin celebrating with their teammates and celebrating together, and the thought is enough to make her head spin. She’s shaken back into the moment and whirls around to find Kelley grabbing at her.

“We fucking did it baby! We’re national champs!” Kelley screams at her face. Christen just nods enthusiastically, her words failing her as she pulls her roommate into a hug. The celebrations continue as they pose for pictures with their trophies and ring boxes and are given t shirts and hats.

The celebration doesn't die down in the locker room, or on the bus, or back at the hotel and Christen feels like she doesn’t even have a moment to take a deep breath until late that night when lying in her bed.

“CP, are you awake?”

It’s past 3am when Christen turns over at the sound of Kelley’s loud whisper, and she reaches up to click on the light between their beds. “Yeah. I’m too excited to sleep,” she admits grinning across the room at Kelley who also looks wide awake.

“I can’t believe we won,” Kelley says, sitting up in bed.

Christen opens her mouth to respond when there’s a knock on the hotel room door. Christen’s brow furrows and her first thought is that it’s going to be coach, yelling at them for still being awake. She climbs out of bed and pads over to the door, opening it slowly. She throws it open the rest of the way, laughing, when she sees Tobin standing there, still donning the t shirt and backwards champions hat that they were given after the game. 

“Oh good, you’re awake,” Tobin grins. “Is KO up? Get dressed,” she requests, leaning into the room and waving at Kelley. “And grab your cleats.”

“Our cleats?” Christen asks, confused.

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “Pick up game in 15 minutes. No one can sleep anyway. You in?”

“Of course,” Christen laughs, as Kelley echoes her sentiments, hopping out of bed to get dressed.

“Cool. I’m gunna go make sure ARod is up. Meet in the lobby when you’re ready, okay?”

  

A half an hour later, Christen sits on the sideline of a turf football field that they had found in walking distance from the hotel, surrounded by teammates. She finishes lacing up her cleats but doesn’t get up right away, taking a moment to look around at the girls that she’s grown so close to over the past few months, feeling more like family than just teammates to her. She glances at their smiling faces before her eyes drift over to her favorite smile, breaking into a grin of her own as she watches Tobin juggle and joke around with Cheney and ARod. 

They break into teams and set up garbage cans in the end zones to serve as goals. It doesn’t matter much though, because they don’t keep score or track of time and no one really cares, everyone just happy to be on the field with their teammates playing the game that they love. They play until the sky starts to lighten with impending dawn and the adrenaline of the win has started to wear off, leaving exhaustion in it’s place.

They walk back to the hotel in a big group, still smiling, despite the fact that they need to be up and in the lobby in a few hours for their flight back to North Carolina. 

Tobin comes up next to Christen as they walk down the sidewalk, throwing an arm around her shoulders and slowing them down so they trail behind the rest of the team. “Come stay in my room?” she requests, pulling Christen into her side.

“What about Kling?”

“She said she would go sleep in your room with Kelley,” Tobin replies as they walk through the doors into the hotel.

“You already asked? What if I said no?” Christen raises an eyebrow at Tobin.

Tobin rolls her eyes, dropping her arm off Christen’s shoulder and pressing the elevator button when they miss the elevators that their teammates took. “I knew you wouldn’t,” she states confidently before whirling around to face Christen. “Are you saying no?” she challenges. 

Christen taps her chin as if thinking. She side steps Tobin and walks into the elevator before turning to look at her. “I guess I’ll come stay in your room,” she sighs dramatically. “But I do need to stop in my room to shower and change after getting all sweaty again.” 

Tobin follows her into the elevator and steps closer, backing her into the wall as the elevator doors close. She stands inches from Christen and leans in, her cheek brushing against Christen’s and her hair tickling Christen’s face. “You don’t need to stop in your room if you shower in my room and sleep naked,” she whispers in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. Christen thinks for a moment but Tobin’s lips ghosting over the area under her ear is all the convincing she needs and she finds herself nodding, her exhaustion somehow forgotten. Tobin grins against Christen’s neck and laces their hands together to lead her out of the elevator and down the hall to her room so they can continue their celebrations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait again! Thanks for the kudos and comments and messages on tumblr, I know I can be bad about replying but I read and appreciate them all <3


	30. Do yourself a favor

Christen yawns for the third time in the past few minutes, stretching her sore legs out in front of her as she tries to get comfortable in the vinyl airport chair. 

“Tired CP?” Kelley quips from the seat next to her, a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

Christen nods, sliding her sleeves down over her chilly hands and crossing her arms.

“Why? What’d you do last night?” Kelley asks, in a teasing tone.

Christen rolls her eyes and leans closer. “You really wanna know? Well, when we got back to the hotel Tobin and I showered together and she did this thing with her fingers and her tongue-”

“Okay, never mind, forget I asked,” Kelley exclaims, cutting her off mid sentence. 

Christen leans back in her chair, smirking. “Anyway, I returned the favor and then she returned the favor again and we barely got any sleep,” she finishes, breaking into another yawn. 

“Okay, first of all, ‘returning the favor’ is not slang for sex, CP. And second of all, I do not feel sorry for you at all. You deserve to be tired. It’s payment for getting laid and it’s only fair,” Kelley shrugs. “I wish someone would do me a favor,” she mutters, slouching down in her seat.

“I’ll do you a favor KO, what’s up?” Tobin’s voice startles both of them as she walks up behind them. “Here babe,” she says, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Christen’s head and hand her a cup of coffee. She walks around the row of chairs and sprawls on the floor in front of them, clutching her own cup of coffee. “Well?” she says expectantly, looking up at Kelley. 

“What?” Kelley replies.

“I said I’ll do you a favor. What do you need?”

Kelley bursts into laughter and Christen slaps at her shoulder, before turning her attention to Tobin who’s staring at them, confused. “You will definitely not being doing Kell any favors, Tobs. You better not being doing favors for anyone but me,” Christen laughs out.

“CP, I know we’re roommates but if _you_ ever wanna do me a favor, you know where to find me,” Kelley teases, nudging Christen and wiggling her eyebrows.

“Ew, stop. Just do yourself a favor,” Christen replies, cracking up at her own joke.

“Oh, believe me, I do myself favors all the time,” Kelley says suggestively, bending over in laughter.

“Oh my god,” Christen gasps, wiping at the tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. She looks over at Tobin, who’s staring back at them with a puzzled expression.

“You guys are so weird,” she mutters, shaking her head, leaning back against her carry on and closing her eyes.

 

“Okay, so I’m not flying out until the 16th but your last final is the 12th. So if you want to fly out on the 12th or 13th I can take you to the airport, but I have an 11am final on the 13th, so if you decide to fly out that day and want me to take you it has to be an evening flight. If you fly out on the 12th, it can be in the afternoon or evening. Have you looked at tickets yet? Where are you even flying to?” Christen stares down at her planner, open on the tray table, and clutches her coffee as the plane hits a small patch of turbulence. “Tobin? Are you listening to me?” she continues when she gets no response, looking at the seat next to her where Tobin is thumbing through a surfing magazine.

“Hmm? Yeah, sorry, what?” Tobin responds, grinning sheepishly at Christen. 

Christen rolls her eyes and points at her planner. “I’m figuring out our next couple of weeks,” she explains. “When are you flying out and where are you flying to?” 

Tobin shrugs, dropping her magazine into her lap. “I don’t know. Alex, Allie, and Mana are flying to Hawaii on the 11th so I guess I’ll fly into Hawaii on...” she trails off, leaning over to squint down at Christen’s planner. “The 12th,” she finishes, pointing to the day on the calendar. “My final is at 8am? That sucks. Anyway, I guess I’ll look for like an afternoon flight if that’s cool with you?” 

“Tobin, you seriously need to book it. You’ll be lucky if you can even find a flight this late. I bet it’s going to be so expensive since you waited so long. We should look when we get back to campus tonight. And if you’re coming to visit me we need to start thinking about dates and look for flights for that too. We should book those tonight too so you don’t put it off like this or forget.”

Tobin reaches over and closes Christen’s planner. “Chill Pressy,” she says flatly, tucking her magazine into the seat back pocket. 

Christen’s eyes narrow at the nickname that Tobin hardly ever uses anymore. “I’m just trying to help,” she mutters sullenly, looking down at her now shut planner.

“I get that, but I don’t need help. You gotta relax and stop worrying about it. If I wanted your help I’d ask,” Tobin replies, pressing the button on her armrest to recline her seat. 

“Fine,” Christen responds, crossing her arms and turning her body to look out the window.

Tobin sleeps for the rest of the flight and although Christen tries, she can’t fall asleep, so she sits there, stewing for the three and half hours left on the trip. By the time the plane touches down in Raleigh, Christen has gone from mildly annoyed to irrationally angry at Tobin. She knows that she’s being oversensitive because she’s running on less than 2 hours of sleep and she’s jet lagged and still exhausted from the day before, but she doesn’t care by this point.

She scoffs as they stand to exit the plane, grabbing Tobin’s magazine out of the seat back pocket and poking her in the back with it roughly. “I guess you don’t want this?”

Tobin turns to look at what’s in her hand, smiling and taking it from her. “Shit, thanks babe, almost forgot it,” she says, unzipping her backpack and shoving the magazine inside.

“Mhm,” Christen hums, pointing for Tobin to exit the row.

She doesn’t say another word to Tobin, avoiding her as the team waits for their luggage and boards the bus back to UNC. She even steals Sonnett’s seat, claiming she wants to sit with her roommate, which has Kelley and Sonnett raising their eyebrows and shrugging at each other. She puts on a smile and laughs and jokes around with teammates for the ride back to campus even though she can feel Tobin’s eyes on her from a few rows back.

They’re still a few minutes from campus when her phone buzzes for the fourth time, so she pulls it out and reads over the string of texts from Tobin.

 

 **Tobs:** Hey why aren’t you sitting with me?

 **Tobs:** What’s wrong

 **Tobs:** Are you mad at me?

 **Tobs:** Chris?

 

She locks her phone without answering and twists in her seat, her eyes immediately finding Tobin. She’s staring down at her phone, her face illuminated by it’s light, her brow furrowed and lip pulled between her teeth. Christen quickly averts her eyes and whirls back around in her seat, letting out a puff of air.

 

When they get back to campus, it’s raining hard and there’s a flurry of activity as everyone gathers their belongings and hugs their teammates quickly before running off towards their cars or dorms. Christen pulls up her hood, slings her duffle bag over her shoulder, and starts speed walking towards the dorm, not bothering with drawn out goodbyes when she knows she’ll see most of her teammates the next day. She doesn’t even pause to wait for her roommates, her mind set on a hot shower and her bed.

“Christen!” 

She knows without looking back that Tobin is trying to catch up with her, calling for her to slow down but she doesn’t dare turn around. Tobin finally catches up with her a few yards from the door to their building. She yanks at Christen’s duffle bag strap, trying to slow her down or get her to turn around but Christen jerks away and keeps walking.

“What the fuck Christen,” Tobin’s voice is strained and exasperated. “What’s going on? I don’t even know what I did.”

Christen flashes her ID card to unlock the door and tugs it open, not bothering to hold it open for Tobin.

She starts up the stairs and she knows without turning that Tobin is still right behind her, breathing heavily and following her up the stairs. “Can you fucking talk to me? Maybe tell me what I did wrong?”

Christen takes a deep breath and pauses as she reaches the second floor landing. She then whirls around to face Tobin, who startles at the sudden movement and her wet sneakers slip down two steps before she catches herself, panic etched into her features. “Fuck,” she mutters one hand clutching the railing as she looks up at Christen with wide eyes.

Christen stares down at her, pulling in deep breaths, suddenly on the verge of tears.

Tobin’s panicked expression transforms into confusion and concern and she warily walks up a few steps so she’s almost eye level with Christen. “What happened?” she asks quietly, her eyes searching Christen’s face for answers.

Christen swallows hard and shakes her head. “I just wanted to help you,” she responds, hating how small and whiny her voice sounds and feeling very much like a small child in desperate need of a nap. 

“Help me with what?” Tobin asks, her eyebrows knit together as she continues to study Christen’s face.

“On the plane. When we were talking about flights,” she whispers, her voice breaking towards the end.

“Oh,” Tobin responds, understanding spreading across her face as she nods and seems to think back on the conversation. “Oh,” she says again, quieter as she looks down, almost ashamed.

“Yeah,” Christen breathes out, still blinking back tears. She knows she’s over reacting but she’s too tired to care. 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin says, taking another step and reaching a hand out towards Christen but letting it fall limply back to her side, looking just as tired as Christen feels.

Christen starts to feel bad then, knowing Tobin didn’t really mean any harm with her reaction on the plane. She shakes her head, looking down at Tobin, who’s eyes are still down cast. “I’m just tired,” she sighs. “I just want to shower and go to bed.”

Tobin looks back up at her to respond but her mouth snaps shut and she turns her head at the sound of the door opening and their other roommates’ voices drifting up the stairs. Christen starts walking up the rest of the stairs before Tobin can even turn back around. 

Tobin must stop and wait for the other roommates, because Christen is already unlocking the door to the suite and slipping inside before the stairwell door even opens again. She drops her bags in her room and beelines to the shower, cranking the water all the way to hot and stripping her clothes off. 

She doesn’t stay in the shower for long, just enough to warm up and wash away the grossness of a day of travel. When she turns off the water and opens the shower curtain, she’s surprised to see a folded pile of clothes on the floor, just inside the door. She steps out of the shower and grabs her towel off the hook, drying off and wrapping her hair before reaching for the clothes.

They’re Tobin’s, left for her in a gesture that she knows is some sort of peace offering and she sighs, feeling even worse about her reaction as she tugs the sweatpants on and pulls the long sleeve shirt over her head. She exits the bathroom and heads to her room, depositing her clothes into her hamper and tying her wet hair up into a bun before grabbing her phone and padding down the hall to Tobin’s room. 

Her door is cracked and Christen taps on it, gently pushing it open when she hears Tobin calling for her to come in. Tobin is sitting up in bed, her back against the wall, eating a bowl of mac and cheese and Christen suddenly realizes how hungry she is. Tobin points wordlessly with her fork and Christen turns her head to see a second bowl of mac and cheese sitting on Tobin’s dresser. She walks into the room, pushing the door shut behind her before grabbing the bowl and climbing up onto the bed next Tobin.

They eat in silence and when they’re done, Tobin grabs the bowls and walks out of the room. Christen gets up as well and she can hear Tobin rinsing the bowls in the kitchen while she brushes her teeth in the bathroom. Tobin comes in the bathroom when she’s done, reaching for her own toothbrush. Christen finishes first and she tries to meet Tobin’s eyes in the mirror but Tobin is staring down at the sink, brushing her teeth mechanically. Christen gives up and turns back down the hallway, walking to Tobin’s room and climbing into her bed without a second thought.

Tobin comes in a few minutes later and if she’s surprised to see Christen in her bed, it doesn’t show as she closes the door and clicks off the light before joining her in bed. They lay in silence for a few moments, both on their backs staring up at the ceiling, and the space between them seems to stretch for miles. 

Tobin breaks the silence first, rolling onto her side to face Christen. “I’m sorry, Chris. I didn’t mean to upset you, you know,” she says, her voice quiet and unsure. “I know you were just trying to help. I know you like to have a plan and I’m not like that and I guess I just got frustrated and felt like you were being controlling but I know that’s not what you were trying to do,” she continues and Christen doesn’t move, blinking up at the ceiling as she works to formulate a response.

Before she has the chance to say anything, Tobin speaks again. “We’re just so different,” she whispers, and it’s so quiet that Christen isn’t sure if she was even meant to hear it. 

Her heart races at the words however, and she turns her head towards Tobin. “Those sound like break up words. Are you breaking up with me?” she asks, her voice taking on that small, whiny tone again.

Tobin’s eyes widen and she shakes her head furiously. “What? No. No way,” she rushes out in a panic.

Christen sighs and looks back up at the ceiling. “Okay, good. I’m sorry too,” she breathes out, unsure what else to say.

They’re quiet for another few moments before Tobin speaks up again. “I really like you a lot Christen Press,” she whispers, her voice sounding smaller than ever.

Christen turns onto her side to face Tobin and she’s surprised to see Tobin’s bottom lip trembling, her eyes blinking hard against unshed tears.

“I really like you a lot too,” she whispers back, wanting to close the distance between them. 

Tobin shakes her head, her eyes squeezed shut. “You’re just so,” she trails off and swallows hard, trying to compose herself. “You’re so good,” she continues, her voice strained. “So much better than me and I get worried that you’re going to realize that and leave me,” she finishes in a whimper, her eyes still shut.

“No,” Christen whispers back, reaching out to drag her thumb under Tobin’s eye to brush away the single tear that has escaped. Tobin sighs, leaning her face into Christen’s hand and Christen wiggles closer, pulling Tobin into her arms. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re so good too Tobin and you don’t even see it,” she soothes, holding Tobin close. “I got you. I’m not going anywhere,” she says again, her arms tightening around her girlfriend.

The exhaustion seems to hit both of them and Christen isn’t even sure if either of them say anything else before they fall asleep.

  

When they wake up for class Tuesday morning, on their sides facing each other and sharing a pillow, they’re uncharacteristically shy, both embarrassed by their emotional reactions the night before. The shyness fades quickly though, especially when Christen starts to get changed and pulls her shirt off to find Tobin staring back at her with lust filled eyes. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Christen laughs out, shaking her head as she grabs her bra and puts it on. “I’m not showing up to class late so I suggest you get dressed if you don’t want me to leave without you.”

  

Tuesday night, the roommates stake their claim on one of the empty study rooms in their building, agreeing to study for finals together. Christen and Alyssa work on a practice exam for their math course at one of the tables, Julie sits sideways in one of the chairs going through flashcards, and Tobin and Kelley sit at the other table, spending more time making faces and throwing Skittles at each other than actually studying.

“Chris,” Tobin calls across the room, breaking the silence.

“Hmm?” Christen hums, erasing a mistake and poking at her calculator with a furrowed brow.

“I got a ticket for a 12:55 flight on the 12th. That alright?”

Christen puts her pencil down and looks up, thinking it over. “I mean it might be cutting it a little close if our final takes the full two hours but that should be okay,” she responds, looking over at Tobin. 

Tobin closes her laptop and starts gathering up her belongings. “Cool. I’m done studying so I’m gunna go back and go to bed. Wanna come?”

Christen looks down at her practice test, barely halfway done and knows she should say no. But when she looks back up to meet Tobin’s eyes she finds herself nodding anyway. “Sure,” she responds, placing the practice exam back into her folder and closing her calculator.

“Right, so we’ll just stay here for another hour and y’all can text us when it’s safe to come back to the room,” Kelley teases, throwing another Skittle at Tobin.

Tobin catches the Skittle and pops it into her mouth before pulling the door open and holding it for Christen. “Probably should give us more than an hour KO,” she smirks back at Kelley before following Christen through the door and letting it close behind her.

 

A little over an hour later, Christen is completely spent, laying naked in Tobin’s arms and tracing a finger over her bare stomach. “Hey Tobs?” she whispers, not sure if Tobin is awake.

“Hmm?” Tobin hums sleepily.

Christen pulls back and leans up to look at Tobin. Tobin’s eyes are closed with a contented look on her face but when she feels Christen moving she turns her head and opens her eyes to look back at her. “What’s up babe?” she asks, more awake now.

Christen takes a deep breath and fluffs her pillows to lean against them. “Have you told anyone that we’re together? Like on the team I mean.”

Tobin sits up more as well, shaking her head. “I mean obviously Cheney and ARod know. Oh, and Ashlyn knows, but other than that I haven’t told anyone. Why?”

“When we were in South Carolina, Whitney said she could tell we were together. I talked to Ali about it and she and Ashlyn like made an announcement to the whole team that they were together but it wasn’t for months after they started dating. I guess I was just wondering if you think we should tell everyone,” Christen finishes, looking at Tobin to see her reaction. 

Tobin shrugs, her face thoughtful, and she looks over at Christen. “Do you want to tell everyone? Like announce it or something? I’m okay with the team knowing and I’m sure a lot of them already have an idea that we’re together, but maybe it’s better if they hear it from us instead of just assuming they know. If we make like an announcement or whatever, we can also give everyone the heads up that we’re trying to stay low key about it, like on social media and stuff, so they don’t post anything about us.”

Christen nods, wiggling closer and pressing her lips to Tobin’s bare shoulder. “You’re right,” she whispers, her lips ghosting over Tobin’s warm skin. “Want to tell them tomorrow at the party?”

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin breathes out, putting her hand on Christen’s jaw to pull her up into a kiss.

 

Thursday is a reading day with no classes or exams, so the team has a huge party planned for Wednesday night to celebrate their College Cup win.

Christen takes her time getting ready, laughing when she walks into the kitchen and finds Tobin in the champions t shirt and hat that they had gotten after the game on Sunday.

“What?” Tobin asks, looking up from her phone when she hears Christen’s laughter. Her eyes quickly trail up and down Christen’s body. “Wow, you look hot,” she says breathlessly. 

Christen rolls her eyes, stepping closer. “Why do you sound so surprised? Do I not always look hot?”

Tobin locks her phone and puts it down on the counter, turning to face Christen and putting her hands on her hips to pull her closer. She has to tilt her head a little to look at her, a few inches shorter than her with her bare feet compared to Christen’s high heeled booties.

“You always look hot but you’re on another level tonight,” she grins up at Christen. “You’re gunna be turning heads all night and it’s gunna be hard to keep my hands off of you.”

Christen blushes, lacing her fingers together behind Tobin’s neck. “Maybe I don’t want you to keep your hands off of me,” she whispers.

Tobin’s hands slide up from Christen’s hips, coming in contact with the warm skin left exposed by her crop top. She continues dragging them slowly upward and leans forward to kiss the base of her neck. Her hands have just reached Christen’s ribcage when a throat clearing in the doorway startles them apart.

Christen takes a step back and turns to see Alyssa standing there awkwardly. “Ubers here,” she says, gesturing over her shoulder.

“Are you coming or are you just gunna stay here and make out all night?” Kelley screams from the living room.

“Shut up KO, you’re just jealous,” Tobin yells back, pushing off the counter and shoving her phone into her pocket. “I just gotta go put my shoes on,” she says in a quieter voice to Christen, trailing a finger across her exposed midriff with a smirk as she walks past her and leaves the kitchen.

 

When the group arrives at Ali and Ashlyn’s, most of their teammates are already there, having agreed to meet early to help out and to pregame as a team. Once everything is set up, they all squeeze into the living room to hang out and drink, staying inside since the deck is still wet from rain earlier in the day. Cheney makes a speech about their championship win and the season as a whole that has everyone blinking back tears and agreeing to a round of shots.

After another round of shots, Tobin gulps down the last of her beer and stands up from her spot on the floor where she had been leaning against Christen’s legs. Christen looks up at her from her spot on the couch, confused about why she stood so suddenly. She gapes up at her when Tobin screams “YO!”, getting everyone in the room’s attention.

“So Christen and I are together and we’ve been trying to be low key about it so please don’t out us, but we just wanted everyone to know,” Tobin blurts out, glancing back at Christen who feels herself blushing immediately.

It’s quiet for a half second and Christen wishes the couch would swallow her up when Sydney speaks up from across the room. “Oh my god, you thought we didn’t already know that? Ow, what?” she yells when Crystal slaps her shoulder.

“Dude, it’s supposed to be a secret,” Kling attempts to drunkenly whisper in Sydney’s direction while Moe nods enthusiastically from next to her.

“Wait, you guys literally all already knew?” Christen asks, her eyes flitting from teammate to teammate, none of which look surprised by Tobin’s revelation.

“I think we all had suspicions,” Becky says, sipping from a water bottle. “But nobody here would ever out you guys, right?” she asks, looking around the room.

Everyone nods or yells out in agreement and Christen feels a little better when Tobin turns to grin at her.

“Well I think we should take another shot,” Kelley screams out, pushing off of Sonnett to stand from where they had been squeezed together on an armchair. “You know, to celebrate their love and all,” she continues, waving a hand in the air and reaching for the handle of vodka.

Christen’s eyes widen at Kelley’s word choice and she glances back up at Tobin but she’s already turned away, reaching for a shot glass off the coffee table.

 

The rest of the party passes by in a drunken haze. It seems like the entire campus shows up, spilling out onto the deck and into the backyard even though it’s cold and wet outside. Christen bounces around the party, accepting hugs and congratulations from classmates, taking shots with teammates, and dancing with Kelley for a while.

It isn’t until the party is winding down, mostly just teammates and a handful of stragglers still there, that Christen realizes that she hasn’t seen Tobin in hours. She walks into the kitchen, spotting Cheney and ARod, but no Tobin. “Hey, do you know where Tobin is?” she calls out to them as she walks closer, stumbling a little on her heels.

“Nope, last I saw her she was on the deck playing flip cup with some girl and KO and Sonnett but that was like a long time ago,” ARod slurs, pointing out the glass sliding door. 

Christen nods and tugs the door open, stepping out into the cold air and looking around the dimly lit backyard. There’s a couple making out on one of the deck chairs but it’s too dark to see who they are, so Christen continues down the steps off the deck. There are a handful of people smoking at the bottom of the steps, but Tobin’s not with them so she brushes by the group, holding her breath.

She steps off the patio into the wet grass and looks around, shivering in the air cold enough to see her breath. There’s a fire dying down in the fire pit and she spots one person sitting by the fire, their back to Christen. She steps closer, recognizing the NCAA champions hat sitting backwards on their head. 

“Tobin?” she calls out, still a few feet away, letting out a sigh of relief when Tobin turns in her chair, her face lighting up when she sees Christen.

“Hi baby,” she babbles happily, reaching a hand out to Christen and beckoning her to come closer. “I was looking for you!”

Christen laughs, walking around the chair and allowing Tobin to pull her down into her lap. “No you weren’t, you were just sitting here. I was looking for you,” she giggles, poking Tobin in the chest.

Tobin just shrugs and smiles. “I was thinking about you and wondering where you were and that’s close enough,” she says, grinning. “I missed you tonight,” she mutters, nuzzling into Christen’s neck, her lips ghosting over her skin. “Did you have fun?”

Christen nods, shivering and cuddling closer to Tobin’s warm body. “I missed you too.”

“Ready to go home?” Tobin whispers, pressing a tiny kiss to Christen’s pulse point before pulling back to look her in the eyes.

Christen nods again, leaning forward to peck Tobin on the lips once before standing up and holding a hand out to help her up. Tobin doesn’t drop her hand after standing, instead lacing their fingers together and leading her back towards the deck as she orders the Uber on her phone with her other hand.

 

Thursday is spent nursing hangovers, studying and starting to pack for break. Finals start on Friday and Christen throws herself into studying, wanting to end the semester on a high note. She’s a little surprised when Tobin does the same, cracking open textbooks that Christen didn’t even know she owned and writing actual notes in her notebooks for the first time all semester.

 

On Sunday, Christen and Tobin get to the library after an early morning workout and breakfast together, and they spend the rest of the day there studying, even ordering a pizza to the library so they don’t have to give up their table. They don’t head back to the room until 8pm and once they get back, Christen spreads her books out on Tobin’s bed, laying on her stomach and continuing to study while Tobin packs.

When the words start melting together on the page, Christen closes her book and watches Tobin pack instead. She’s wearing a giant t shirt and tiny shorts and her hair is in that stupid half bun that somehow looks good on her and Christen’s heart swells just looking at her. She bites her lip as she watches Tobin shoving bikinis into her duffle bag, that’s overflowing and disorganized in a way that makes Christen cringe and want to take everything out to repack it for her. “Tobin,” she calls out, distracting her momentarily.

Tobin looks up from her spot on the floor, one knee on the top of her bag as she tries to zip it closed. “Yeah?” she asks, a little out of breath from wrestling with the overfull and poorly packed bag. 

Christen looks down then, straightening her papers instead of looking Tobin in the eye. “I’m just going to miss you a lot,” she says quietly, not looking up. She hears the bag zip and then Tobin’s hands come into her line of sight, gathering up her papers and books and putting them onto her desk.

“I’m gunna miss you so much too Chris,” Tobin admits, walking over to close her door. 

Christen sits up and scoots back against the wall, watching Tobin use her foot to push the bag she had just packed across the floor towards her other large duffle bag, already packed last night at Christen’s urging. Tobin then turns off her light and climbs into bed with Christen, pulling her close.

“I wish you weren’t leaving tomorrow,” Christen whines, clutching onto Tobin’s t shirt. 

“I know,” Tobin says quietly, her hand drifting up and down Christen’s back. “But we can Facetime and text and talk on the phone every day and before you know it I’ll be coming to see you. It’s just a couple weeks babe. And you’re gunna be so busy at home hanging out with your friends and family and Morena and Khaleesi. You’re not even gunna have time to miss me,” Tobin claims, her hand continuing it’s soothing pattern on Christen’s back. 

“You’ll really call me every day?” Christen sniffles, a few tears trailing down her face and sinking into Tobin’s shirt.

“Of course,” Tobin promises, leaning down to kiss the top of Christen’s head. “Except I’m gunna Facetime you so I still get to see your pretty face every day. And so you can see my pretty face. I wouldn’t want you to forget how pretty it is,” Tobin teases, earning a smile from Christen as she turns her head to look at Tobin.

“I could never,” Christen giggles, wiping at her eyes and leaning forward to kiss Tobin.

 

Tobin drives to the airport the next day, claiming that she wants to drive her Jeep one more time before break. She pulls off into a hotel parking lot a few minutes from the airport and parks in the back corner, turning in her seat to face Christen but looking down. “We should say goodbye here instead of the airport,” she says quietly, fiddling with the keys hanging out of the ignition.

Christen nods, already swallowing against a lump in her throat and staring down at her lap.

“It’s only a few weeks babe,” Tobin reassures, looking up at her. “It’ll fly by and I’ll be visiting you in California before you know it.” 

Christen nods again, trying to get her emotions under control.

Tobin reaches a hand out to cup her cheek forcing her to look at her. “I promise to Facetime you every single day, remember?”

Christen shakes her head then, smiling at Tobin’s sincerity despite herself. “No, I changed my mind. Let’s not promise that okay? Because you know we’re both going to be busy and I don’t want either of us to be disappointed if we don’t get a chance to Facetime. How about we just promise to do something every day? Like a Facetime or phone call will be great, but it’s okay if we’re busy doing our own things and only have time for texts or snapchat selfies or something. But you better take some pictures when you’re in Hawaii so I can be jealous while I’m stuck here studying and taking the rest of my finals.” 

Tobin grins and nods, her hand still soft on Christen’s cheek. “Yeah, okay that sounds good. And just follow Alex and Allie on Instagram. I’m sure they’ll post plenty of pictures. I know you just wanna see me in a bikini though,” she teases, her eyes crinkling as she smiles. 

Christen rolls her eyes. “Sure, but mostly I wanna see Alex in a bikini so I’ll be sure to follow her.”

Tobin gasps in mock offense, pulling her hand back and crossing her arms. “Watch yourself,” she warns, trying and failing to seem serious.

Christen just grins back at her before she notices the time on the dashboard and sighs. “We should go babe. I don’t want you to miss your flight.” 

Tobin frowns at the time before turning back towards Christen. “I know that you’re right but I really don’t wanna say goodbye to you,” she complains. 

Christen doesn’t respond, instead leaning across the console to kiss Tobin. Tobin turns her body and tangles a hand in Christen’s hair, deepening the kiss. After a while, Christen reluctantly pulls back. “Your flight,” she whispers breathlessly. 

Tobin sighs and leans back. “I know, I know,” she groans, fixing her seatbelt and putting the Jeep in reverse. 

Tobin pulls up at curbside check in a few minutes later, throwing the Jeep into park and hopping out to get her bags. Christen gets out as well, walking around the back and watching Tobin put her two bags onto the curb before grabbing her backpack and putting it on. She slams the back of the Jeep shut and turns to Christen with a sad smile. Christen already feels herself getting choked up again when she steps forward into Tobin’s waiting arms.

“Text me when you get back to campus,” she mutters into Christen’s hair, holding her tightly. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

She pulls back then, grabbing her bags and walking towards the check in desk without a backwards glance. Christen watches for a moment before sighing and walking around the Jeep to get into the driver’s seat before the cop standing on the sidewalk says anything to her. 

She drives back to campus in silence, not even bothering to turn the radio on. She texts Tobin when she gets back to the suite but only receives a thumbs up and a heart emoji in response. She walks into her room and flops down onto her bed, knowing she should study but wanting to wallow in her sadness for a little while longer. It’s only a few minutes later that Kelley comes bursting into the room, singing loudly. She stops when she sees Christen, a pitying expression on her face. She climbs into Christen’s bed and pulls her into a hug. “C’mon CP. I’ll take you out for coffee and you can be sad and talk about Tobin for like 5 minutes and then we can go to the library and study okay?” 

Christen sighs and considers the offer before nodding. “Fine. I can’t believe you’re leaving me tomorrow too,” she whines, watching Kelley hop up and begin to pack her backpack with her things for the library.

“I know. I’m gunna miss you roomie,” Kelley responds distractedly. “But you’ll have JJ for a little longer and Lyss will be here with you until you leave and we can have Skype dates whenever you want okay?” 

“Alright,” Christen answers, reluctantly getting up to pack her own backpack. She helps Kelley carry a few things down to her car so she can leave after her final the next day. They go off campus for coffee and end up spending an hour sipping their drinks, talking, and laughing, before Christen realizes how much time has passed and persuades Kelley that they should still head to the library to get some studying done.

 

Later that night, Christen gets ready for bed and almost heads to Tobin’s room on instinct before remembering that Tobin isn’t there. She considers just going and sleeping in Tobin’s bed anyway, but ultimately decides against it. She pauses a couple steps from Tobin’s door before heading into her room, flipping the light on as she goes. She looks through Tobin’s mostly empty dresser and pulls out one of the t shirts she’d left behind, an old gray one that Tobin usually slept in, from some soccer camp or tournament, the writing faded and a hole worn in the collar. Christen lifts it to her face, inhaling Tobin’s scent before feeling like a creeper and quickly glancing around to make sure no one had seen her do that. She pulls off her own shirt, tossing it onto Tobin’s unmade bed and pulls Tobin’s shirt on, walking towards the door and flipping the light back off as she does.

She climbs into her own bed, talking quietly with Kelley as they both get settled. They say goodnight and Christen grabs her phone to set her alarm. She fully intends to go right to sleep but instead finds herself scrolling through Tobin’s Instagram, smiling to herself at the pictures of her girlfriend. She finally locks her phone and closes her eyes but just as she’s drifting off, her phone dings with a text notification. She grabs it off her desk and squints at the screen, quickly unlocking it when she sees who the text is from.

 

 **Tobs:** Just landed. Miss you already. I’ll call you tomorrow

 

Christen sleepily types out a response, rereading it before she sends it like she always does. Her eyes widen and she’s suddenly wide-awake when she realizes that she typed ‘Miss you too. I’m going to sleep, goodnight I love you’. She erases the last three words with shaky hands, replacing them with a heart emoji before pressing send. She clutches her phone to her chest, her heart racing, feeling incredibly lucky that she caught herself before hitting send, not wanting her first ‘I love you’ to Tobin to be over text. Tobin responds a few minutes later with a ‘goodnight’ and a heart emoji of her own and Christen locks her phone and puts it back on her desk. She closes her eyes, her mind racing with thoughts of those three little words as she slowly drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody still reading this? If so, thanks for sticking around lol we're almost done! Anything you'd like to see before the end? Lemme know your thoughts and as always, thanks for all the kudos and comments <3


	31. What would you do if I was there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Remember me? Sorry it's been like a billion years, life's a little cray right now. This is just a short chapter to remind you that this story still exists before the final chapter lol

Christen breezes through her Spanish final before meeting up with Julie for brunch before she leaves for break. Christen and Alyssa have their math final on the 15th so they still need to hang around campus for another 3 days before they leave on the 16th. Christen is sitting in a booth, reading through the menu and sipping her coffee when Julie slides into the booth across from her.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” she exclaims breathlessly, picking up her menu. “I hate packing so much and Zach already has so much crap in his truck that we had to do some serious maneuvering to fit my stuff.”

“No worries,” Christen grins at Julie over her menu. “You’re so lucky that Zach is flying out to Arizona with you before he goes home. What’s he doing with his truck?”

“He found a long term parking lot near the airport that’s pretty cheap,” Julie answers, her eyes skimming the menu. “Tobin’s flying out to see you after Christmas right?”

Christen nods, taking another sip of her coffee. “Yeah, after New Year’s but I’m not sure when. She leaves everything 'til the last minute so I’m sure she won’t buy tickets and give me her flight info until like the day before. I think she’ll have camp with the national team in California so the plan is that she’ll come to me after New Year’s and stay until she has to report for camp.” 

“Gotcha,” Julie nods, closing her menu. “How are things going with Tobin?” she asks in a soft voice, regarding Christen seriously. 

Christen’s thoughts move to her girlfriend and she shrugs, looking down at her hands on the table as she fiddles with the paper that had been wrapped around her napkin. “Things are going good, I think. I think we’re both getting better at this relationship thing. I really love her and I think I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” she grins down at the table before looking up to meet Julie’s gaze. 

Julie beams back at her and shakes her head. “Kay stop, this is way too sweet for me this early in the morning.”

Christen laughs and throws the piece of paper she’d been fiddling with across the table at her roommate. “Shut up. It’s like eleven, that’s hardly even morning anymore.”

  

Christen spends all day studying on the 14th, excited to take her last two finals the next day before flying home on the 16th. She’s getting ready for bed when she hears the familiar Facetime ringtone from inside her room. She quickly turns off the sink and dries her hands before prancing into her room and grabbing for her phone, barely needing to glance at the screen before answering. She breaks into a grin when Tobin’s face fills the screen.

“Hey baby,” she exclaims, barely containing her excitement at the grainy image of her girlfriend.

“Hey,” Tobin laughs out at her obvious excitement. “What’s up?”

Christen shakes her head, a little out of breath. “Nothing, just getting ready for bed. I miss you! What are you doing?”

“Just got back from the beach,” Tobin responds, moving the phone so Christen can see her bikini top and wet, wavy hair. “Gunna shower and grab some dinner before we go out tonight.”

“Where are you going?” Christen asks, climbing onto her bed.

“Mana knows this bar that’s like right on the beach,” Tobin shrugs, running a hand through her hair.

“What’d you do today? Tell me your whole day,” Christen laughs as Tobin rolls her eyes.

“Just surfed and hung out and stuff. What about you? Are you ready for your tests tomorrow?”

“I think so. I was at the library all day and Alyssa and I studied together a bunch too. There’s this part of the last chapter we did that I was struggling with but Lyss helped me work through it. I was working on a practice test earlier and…” Christen trails off when she realizes that Tobin is no longer listening, laughing at something off screen to her left.

After a few seconds Tobin turns back to the phone, her grin faltering a bit when she looks back at Christen. “Sorry, Alex and Allie are being dumb. What’d you say?”

Christen shakes her head and smiles. “Nothing, want me to let you go?”

Tobin glances off screen again, chewing her bottom lip. “Uh, yeah I guess. It’s my turn to shower,” she explains apologetically. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Have fun tonight,” Christen exclaims, hoping her enthusiasm comes across as genuine.

“Don’t worry we’ll take care of Harry!” she hears Allie yell from off screen.

“Yeah, we’ll make sure she behaves herself,” Alex teases, leaning in so she’s visible and pinching Tobin’s cheek.

Christen laughs a little nervously and watches Tobin shake Alex off and stand up. “I’ll call you tomorrow babe. Good luck on your tests,” she says, smiling and walking away from Alex and Allie.

“Thanks. I’ll text you when I get out of my final. Goodnight, miss you a bunch,” she says, but the Facetime has already disconnected. She frowns and plugs her phone in, trying to shake the uneasy feeling that has settled into the pit of her stomach, attributing it to nerves about her exams the next day.

 

Christen leaves her last exam feeling a sense of relief and excitement. She turns her phone back on as she walks back the suite, grinning as she reads a text from Tobin wishing her luck. She calls her back but it goes to voicemail so she leaves a quick message before calling her mom.

 

She and Alyssa go out to dinner that night to celebrate the end of the semester. Christen doesn’t look at her phone the whole dinner until they climb into Alyssa’s car and she’s disappointed to see that she has a missed Facetime, a missed call, and a voicemail from Tobin from about a half hour earlier. She clicks into the voicemail and holds it to her ear as Alyssa pulls out of the restaurant parking lot.

“Hey Chris, sorry I missed you earlier. We were hiking up to this waterfall. It was so pretty. Check Alex and Allie’s insta for pics. I forgot my phone so I don’t have any but I think they posted a bunch. I wished you were there to see it. I miss you a lot. I hope you’re out doing something fun. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Alright, I’ll uh talk to you later. Night baby.”

Christen sighs, disappointed to have missed the call and clicks into Instagram to look at the pictures that Tobin had mentioned. Tobin is right, Allie and Alex both have posted a handful of pictures and uploaded a bunch of pictures and videos on their stories. Christen grins, watching videos of them goofing off and she screenshots a picture off Allie’s story of Tobin standing under the waterfall in a sports bra and shorts, laughing and looking off camera. 

When they get back to the suite, Alyssa and Christen say goodnight and plan out what time to leave the next day before Christen rushes through her nighttime routine. She climbs into bed and calls Tobin, subconsciously holding her breath as she listens to the phone ring once…twice…three times. There’s silence after the third ring and Christen exhales. 

“Yo.”

Tobin’s voice is soft and muffled and Christen presses the phone harder against her head to hear her. “Hi baby,” she responds, grinning at having caught Tobin after missing her call earlier.

“Chris?” Tobin mumbles and Christen’s brow furrows at Tobin’s confused tone.

“Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tobin yawns out. “I was sleeping.”

“Oh, sorry,” Christen rushes out, before pulling the phone away from her face to check the time in confusion. “Wait, why were you sleeping? Isn’t it like 5 o’clock there?” 

“Mhm,” Tobin groans and Christen can just picture her stretching her arms out and rubbing at her eyes. “Allie and Alex and Mana are at the beach but I had a headache after the hike so I stayed back to take a nap,” she explains, sounding a bit more alert. 

“Oh, I’m sorry babe. How does it feel now? You want me to let you go so you can go back to sleep?” 

“No, no,” Tobin rushes out. “I already slept for like an hour and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I wanna talk to you,” she pauses and Christen is about to respond when she speaks up again. “I miss you,” she says softly, in almost a whisper.

“I miss you too Tobs,” Christen responds, inching further down in her bed and getting comfortable.

“What are you doing?” Tobin asks after a beat, her tone back to normal.

“Nothing, just laying in bed. I got back from dinner with Lyss a little bit ago.” 

“Are you in my bed or yours?”

“Mine.”

“Boring. What are you wearing?” Tobin asks in a suggestive tone. 

Christen shakes her head, practically hearing the smirk on Tobin’s face. “Nothing,” she lies in her most seductive tone, grinning up at her ceiling. 

“What would you do if I was there?”

Christen laughs and rolls onto her side. “I’d say ‘Tobin, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Hawaii!’ then I’d hug you.”

“Okay, fair,” Tobin laughs out. “How was your final today?”

Christen and Tobin talk until she can feel herself drifting off and Tobin seems distracted by her friends returning from the beach. 

“Tobs, go hang out with your friends. I’m falling asleep anyway. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?” Christen insists, her eyes already closed.

“Alright. Have a good flight if I don’t talk to you. Night beautiful.”

“Night,” Christen mumbles, locking her phone and flipping onto her stomach, falling asleep almost instantly.

 

The next morning Alyssa drops Christen off at the airport, hugging her tight and promising to text her when she finishes her drive and gets home. Christen texts Tobin after getting through security, but with the time difference she knows she’s still probably asleep so she doesn’t expect a text back right away.

Christen finally gets a text from Tobin as she boards the plane and her jaw drops at the selfie that Tobin has sent, laying in bed in a bikini with the accompanying text reading ‘thinking of you, have a safe flight and text me when you land’. Christen sends back a bunch of heart eyes emojis and a quick message that she just boarded and will text Tobin once she touches down in California.

 

Communication becomes a little bit more difficult when Christen is back home and Tobin flies out to Long Island with Allie. The time difference is 3 hours less but Christen feels like Tobin is busy all the time, going into Manhattan with Allie or playing futsal or going out to eat, and Christen can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy every time she goes on Instagram and watches Allie’s stories of her and Tobin doing fun things.

  

Christen tries to distract herself by working out and spending time with her friends, family, and dogs but she still misses Tobin. With five days until Christmas, Christen finishes up all of her shopping, except for Tobin’s gift. She makes plans with all of her high school friends, inviting them over for drinks and an impromptu holiday party later that night. She plops down on the couch before getting ready and grabs her phone to check in with Tobin. She can’t help but feel a little annoyed when Tobin doesn’t pick up her Facetime call for the third time in the past couple of days, instead texting her back that she’s about to go ice skating with Allie and will text her later, including a bunch of heart and kissy face emojis to soften the blow.

 

A few hours, and more than a few drinks later, Christen makes a grand announcement to all of her friends that she has a girlfriend. It’s not exactly how she had planned on coming out to her friends but everyone is really great about it and Christen feels like they are a lot less surprised than she had expected them to be. As if on cue, her phone lights up with an incoming Facetime from Tobin five minutes later.

“Tobin!” she squeals, grinning at Tobin’s face on her phone screen.

“Christen!” Tobin mocks, laughing at her girlfriend’s excitement.

“Hi!” Christen giggles, ignoring her friends’ teasing.

“Hey. You look really pretty. What are you doing?” 

“Christmas party,” Christen explains, tilting her phone down so Tobin can see her ugly holiday sweater. She looks up at her group of friends, smiling widely. “Everyone, this is Tobin! Tobin, this is everyone,” she introduces, flipping her phone around and waving it so Tobin can see her friends and her friends can see Tobin.

“Hey everyone,” Tobin laughs, waving her hand as Christen’s friends yell out their greetings. “Chris? You there? Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry!” Christen turns her phone back to face her and stands up. “Be right back,” she calls out to her friends, heading inside where it’s quiet, only stumbling a little before she sprawls on the couch and turns her attention back to her phone. “Sorry, what’s up?” 

“Nothing, really. I just couldn’t sleep. Miss you.” Tobin shrugs, her smile fading a little.

 Christen pouts, kicking off her heels. “I miss you too. Why can’t you sleep?”

Tobin shrugs again, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. “I don’t know. Allie is bringing me to my sister’s in Brooklyn tomorrow and I feel, like, I don’t know, nervous about it I guess?”

Christen sits up a little, suddenly feeling a lot soberer. “Why are you nervous babe?” 

“Because,” Tobin groans, rolling onto her back and sitting up against the headboard. “I don’t know. I’m not nervous about seeing Perry, really. I haven’t seen her in months but we text or talk or whatever like at least once a week. But I’m just staying in Brooklyn with her, and her new boyfriend I guess, for a night and then we’re driving to Jersey to my dad’s house. I’m excited to see my sisters and brother but I guess I’m nervous to see my dad. I don’t want to like get in any disagreements or anything.”

“Do you think you will? Like get in disagreements I mean,” Christen clarifies.

“I mean I’m not planning on it. But I want to be able to talk to my sisters about you. I know he’s not gunna like yell at me or anything, but I’ll just know that I’m disappointing him and that he thinks I’m going to hell or whatever,” Tobin explains, her voice rough as she bites down on her bottom lip.

“Oh babe,” Christen says softly, wishing more than anything that she was there with Tobin. “I’m sorry you’ll have to deal with that hon. I wish I knew what to say or do to fix things and make them better but I don’t. If he can’t see what a beautiful and talented and kind and just all around amazing person you are that’s his loss. I am so so proud of you and so so lucky to be able to call you mine, don’t forget that okay? You just need to make it through a couple weeks at home, right? And then you’ll be here so I can squeeze you so tight and kiss that adorable face of yours,” Christen teases.

Tobin laughs a little, wiping at the tears that had gathered in her eyes. “Right, just a couple more weeks,” she reiterates. “You’re the best, you know that? Thanks for making me feel better in the middle of your party.”

Christen shrugs, feeling herself blush. “I’d rather talk to you then take another round of silly selfies with them,” she says, nodding her head towards the backdoor where her friends are drinking and laughing on the back patio.

Tobin grins widely and scoots further down in bed, holding her phone out with one hand. “If Allie tries to take one more selfie with me or posts one more video or picture that I didn’t even know she took, I swear I’m gunna end our friendship,” she laughs, shaking her head.

Christen gasps, and puts her hand to her chest. “Don’t say that, I live for getting to see candid moments of you being a goofball on her Instastory. It’s the highlight of my day!”

Tobin rolls her eyes and fakes annoyance but her smile betrays her. “Well I’ll be sure to let her know that you’re a fan of her work.”

“Please do,” Christen giggles. 

Tobin is quiet for a moment, just grinning at her through the phone before a yawn breaks up her smile. “Alright, go back to your party babe. I’m gunna go to sleep. Thanks again for being there for me. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Anytime Tobs. Talk to you tomorrow,” she affirms.

“Night Chris,” Tobin says softly, already reaching for the lamp at her bedside.

“Sweet dreams,” Christen says, blowing Tobin a kiss before ending the call. She sits there smiling goofily and clutching her phone to her chest for a few minutes before taking a deep breath and heading back outside to join her friends.

 

“So what exactly do we have to get? I thought you were done with your Christmas shopping,” Channing complains as they push through holiday crowds into the electronics store.

“I am, I just need to get Tobin’s gift,” Christen reminds her sister, bee lining towards the middle of the store.

The idea had come to her while Facetiming Tobin a week or so before, when Tobin was in Hawaii and she was still in Chapel Hill. Tobin had sent her a sunset picture from the beach and Christen had been gushing about how gorgeous it looked and how good of a picture it was. _For a shitty iPhone camera it’s okay I guess,_ Tobin had shrugged.

Christen had done some research since then and although it seemed like every place she looked had been sold out, she finally found a store with the camera she was looking for in stock. She had convinced Channing to come along for the thirty five minute drive with promises to hit up the Starbucks drive thru on the way home, and it had been nice to have some uninterrupted alone time with her sister to catch up. She checks her phone while stepping into the checkout line, the camera box tucked under her arm and she frowns at the lack of texts from Tobin, hoping that she’s enjoying some catching up with her sister as well.

“Isn’t this kind of expensive for a Christmas gift? This is your first girlfriend and you guys have been together, what? A couple months?” Channing questions, eyeing the total skeptically while Christen pushes her debit card into the chip reader.

“It’s fine Channing,” Christen says flatly, typing in her pin. “I couldn’t think of anything else to get her and it’s not like we’re just a fling or we aren’t serious or anything.” 

She looks up to see Channing staring back at her with her eyebrows raised, the skeptical look still on her face. “How serious are you Chris?” she questions, stepping to the side so Christen can grab the bag and receipt from the cashier.

Christen puts the receipt in the bag and takes the sunglasses from the top of her head, sliding them on as they walk out of the store into the brisk but sunny southern California day. 

“Well?” Channing prods as they walk towards Christen’s car.

Christen shrugs, preoccupied with digging through her bag for her keys. “What? I don’t know, Chan. We’re pretty serious I guess. I love her,” she says, grinning in success when her fingers wrap around her keys at the bottom of her bag. 

“Damn, okay,” Channing says, waiting patiently for Christen to unlock the car. “I’m just saying, I hope everyone’s Christmas gift from you is as good as Tobin’s,” she teases, pulling open the door and sliding into the car when Christen finally unlocks it.

 

Tobin finally calls later that night but it’s a quick conversation, just catching up on each other’s days and saying goodnight before Christen goes out to look at Christmas lights with her family and Tobin goes to sleep. The next night when Christen’s phone buzzes with an incoming call from Tobin while she plays Apples to Apples with her cousins, she expects something similar. She pushes herself back from the table, promising to be quick as she slides her thumb across the screen and steps out of the room.

“Hey, I was just thinking about you,” she answers cheerily, walking towards the kitchen to get herself a drink. 

“You were?” Tobin asks, her voice soft. “How come?”

“I always think about you,” Christen laughs, glancing around the kitchen before pouring herself a glass of wine from the open bottle on the counter. “Are you home? What are you doing?”

“Yeah, just laying in bed.”

“How is it? Things with your dad okay?" 

“It’s okay. A little awkward and uncomfortable I guess, but not too bad. I’ve kinda just been avoiding him though. We didn’t get here until like lunch time and then I let my sisters drag me out for Christmas shopping for the rest of the day.” 

“Oh, did you buy anything good?” Christen asks, leaning back against the counter to sip her wine, her eyes on the doorway to watch for her parents. 

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” Tobin teases. “You’ll just have to wait to find out.”

“Ugh,” Christen groans, rolling her eyes. “How long am I going to have to wait? Have you looked at tickets yet? Please say yes, because I’ve been trying really hard not to nag you about it, but it’s making me so anxious,” Christen laughs nervously, hoping that she’s not coming across as controlling.

“I did!” Tobin exclaims, much to Christen’s relief. “I can’t remember right now but I’ll send you the flight info tomorrow, okay?”

“Oh thank god. What day are you coming? Do you know?”

“Uhh, I’m not sure. Couple days after New Year’s I think. That okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Christen reassures. “Is it bad that I’m so excited that I just wanna skip right past Christmas and my birthday and New Year’s altogether?”

“No,” Tobin laughs. “I feel the same way. What are you doing for your birthday and New Year’s?” 

“I’m not a hundred percent sure yet. Tyler said she wants to do dinner on my birthday so I haven’t made any other plans yet. And I think that one of my friends from high school is having a New Year’s Eve party so I’ll probably go to that. What about you?” Christen asks, finishing off her wine and putting the empty glass into the dishwasher.

“Uh, I think I’ll probably go back to New York and spend New Year’s with Allie. I don’t know,” Tobin answers, and Christen can picture her shrugging as she says it.

“Well that will be fun. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Just hanging out I think. Probably just gunna play video games with Jeff and maybe help my sisters with some cooking if I get really bored. Then church tomorrow night. What about you?”

“Lots of cooking and lots of eating and just hanging with the fam. Will you have time to Facetime or anything tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. I hope so but if not I’ll text you and call you before bed if I can.”

“Alright, let me go so I can continue to dominate in Apples to Apples. Text me in the morning?” Christen asks, walking slowly back towards the dining room.

“Yupp. Have fun, night babe,” Tobin mumbles sleepily.

“Sweet dreams, goodnight,” Christen replies softly, ending the call and returning to the game with her family.

 

Christen and Tobin are both too busy to talk the next day, but they text sporadically and send each other pictures and selfies throughout the day. Christen sends Tobin a picture of Morena modeling a Santa hat and cracks up when she gets a picture of Tobin in response, also wearing a santa hat and a frilly red apron, holding up a rolling pin. _Morena and I are twinning_ , the caption reads and Christen’s heart swells at the fact that not only does Tobin remember her dogs’ names, but she can tell them apart enough to identify which the picture is of.

 

Christen is just falling asleep when her phone buzzes from her night table late that night. She rolls over to ignore it but quickly sits up and accepts the call when she sees that it’s Tobin calling. 

“Merry Christmas babe,” Tobin says softly when Christen answers. 

“It’s not midnight here yet,” Christen grins. “But Merry Christmas to you. Did you just get home from church?”

“Yeah, I’m getting ready for bed but I just wanted to call and wish you a merry Christmas and say goodnight first,” Tobin replies.

“You’re sweet. How was church?”

“It was good. Kinda long but good. Did you have a good day? You looked super cute in your Christmas sweater,” Tobin teases, referring to a selfie Christen had sent sporting an ugly sweater for a family picture. 

“Oh not as cute as you in your apron. Think you could bring it with you when you come out here? It really does it for me,” Christen teases right back.

“Oh yeah? If you think the apron was good you should see what I’m wearing now,” Tobin says lowly. 

“Why, what are you wearing?”

“Nothing,” Tobin responds simply and Christen narrows her eyes.

“You’re a tease,” Christen groans. 

“Be nice Christen Press. Or you’ll go on the naughty list,” Tobin says and Christen can hear the smirk in her voice.

“I’m going to return your Christmas gift if you don’t stop,” Christen warns.

“Ooh you got me one? What is it?” Tobin asks excitedly, her teasing all but forgotten.

Christen laughs and shakes her head even though Tobin can’t see her. “Not telling. You can find out for yourself in like a week. Go to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

“Fine,” Tobin mutters. “Night gorgeous, merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas babe. Goodnight,” Christen responds, unable to wipe the smile off her face as she ends the call and puts her phone back onto her night table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! I'm hoping to have the last chapter up soooon (like sooner than 2 months from now)
> 
> lmk your thoughts <3


	32. In-N-Out, not sex aka The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp this is it fam. S/O to everyone that's ever commented or sent kudos or messaged me or sent me asks on Tumblr, you the real MVP and this story would not have come this far without you.
> 
> Also S/O to this story (and my garbage wrist) for allowing me to gain entry to the armcase coalition, you guys are the best <3
> 
> Thanks to everyone that's stuck around over the past 9 months since this started...coulda grown a baby in that time and in a way I feel like I kinda did lmao anyways hope you enjoy

The sound of her bedroom door opening wakes Christen up and she rolls over, cracking her eyes open in her dimly lit room. She sees her younger sister tip toeing towards her bed, a mug in each hand and Morena and Khaleesi trailing behind her. 

“Morning,” Channing says softly, holding a mug out as a peace offering as she gets closer to the bed. “Merry Christmas.”

Christen rubs her eyes and sits up, patting the bed next to her. “What time is it?” she yawns, taking a mug from Channing’s hand and grinning when she sees that it’s hot chocolate with marshmallows. She leans forward and pats the foot of the bed, inviting the dogs up and gripping her mug as they both jump up and curl up by their feet. 

“Um like 7. I couldn’t sleep,” Channing admits sheepishly, pulling the covers over her and getting comfortable before grabbing her own mug off the night table.

“Too excited? Did Santa come?” Christen teases.

“Shut up,” Channing rolls her eyes, sipping her hot chocolate.

“Are mom and dad still sleeping?” Christen asks as Channing nods. “What about Tyler and Will?” 

“I think so, I didn’t check,” Channing answers. “Do you think dad’s gunna try to video tape us coming down the stairs in our pajamas?”

“Oh god, you know he will,” Christen laughs. “I don’t think that tradition will ever die but not gunna lie we deff don’t look as cute trying to squeeze down the staircase holding hands anymore.”

“Our matching PJs are still pretty cute though,” Channing giggles, gesturing at their pajamas.

“Hey! What are you guys, sister bonding and having fun with out me? Rude,” Tyler says as she slips into the room and walks towards the bed. “And you have hot chocolate? Wow, okay.”

“We can share,” Christen offers, scooting over to make room for Tyler on the bed.

“Sorry Ty, I would have woke you up but I didn’t wanna just barge in on you and Will,” Channing explains, holding her mug out to Tyler. 

Christen’s phone chirps from her night table and she leans over and grabs it, grinning at a few texts from Tobin detailing her breakfast and the presents she had opened so far and a picture of her in a UNC hoodie and a Santa hat, lying in pile of wrapping paper with a big grin on her face.

“Who’s that? Tobin?” Tyler asks, raising her eyebrows at Christen’s smile.

Channing leans over and looks at Christen’s phone. “Yupp, it’s Tobin,” she confirms. “Aw, she’s cute,” she coos, laughing when Christen locks her phone and scowls at her.

“Can you give us the deets on how you guys started dating now? We probably have like an hour or two until mom and dad wake up,” Tyler says, giving Christen her best puppy dog eyes. 

“Ugh, fine,” Christen concedes, taking another big gulp of hot chocolate first. She starts at the very beginning, detailing everything from the first time she and Tobin had met to their arboretum date to the flowers in the clock tower. She skims over some stuff but tells them almost everything, even about the fights and misunderstandings that she and Tobin had had. By the time she’s done, both mugs are empty and discarded on the night table and the dogs have abandoned them in favor of seeing who else was up and stirring in the house.

“Well isn’t this a sweet sight,” their mother calls from the doorway, grinning at her three daughters lying in bed talking like when they were little girls. “You guys ready for presents?”

“Duh,” Channing calls, pulling at the covers and climbing over Tyler to get out of bed. “Let’s go,” she calls impatiently at her sisters.

  

Later that afternoon, Christen is sipping sangria and laughing at her dad and Channing trying to fly her dad’s new drone in the backyard. Tyler and Will had left to spend some time with his family, and the rest of her family, who had spent the night at her aunt’s house, wouldn’t be over until dinner time. Christen is about to go see if her mom needs help in the kitchen when her phone rings with the FaceTime tone. She quickly answers, feeling a grin spread across her own face when Tobin’s smiling face appears on her phone screen. 

“Hey baby! You busy?” she asks, running a hand through her hair.

“Nope, what’s up?” Christen answers, wandering away from the back door towards the living room.

“Nothing, just had a little while until dinner so I wanted to see your face. Miss you.”

“Miss you too,” Christen says, putting her sangria onto a coaster and sitting down on the couch.

They talk for the next half hour, Christen showing Tobin every article of clothing that she had received and Tobin pretending to be interested before she gets called by one of her sisters for dinner.

“Gotta go. Thanks for showing me everything you got. Text you before bed,” Tobin says, blowing Christen a kiss as she ends the call.

“Was that Tobin?” Christen’s mom pokes her head through the doorway to ask, startling Christen.

“Shit, mom you scared me,” Christen laughs, a hand to her chest. “Yeah, it was Tobin.”

“Is she having a nice Christmas?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Christen answers, leaning over to grab her sangria. 

“Oh good,” her mom smiles warmly. “She’s such a nice girl sweetie, I’m so glad you’re happy.”

Christen gets up and walks over, pressing a kiss to her mom’s cheek. “Thanks mama. Do you need help in the kitchen?” 

“No baby, that’s okay. Why don’t you go get Channing and get dressed? Everybody will be here in an hour or so,” her mom answers, checking her watch.

Christen nods, walking towards the backdoor to get her sister and dragging her upstairs to help each other with hair and make up. The family has a tradition of taking way too many pictures when they’re all together like this so they’re sure to spend a little bit of extra time getting dressed up before they head back downstairs just as the doorbell rings.

The rest of the day and night is filled with a lot of food, laughter, and as predicted, pictures. They do presents again and Christen sneaks way more sangria than her parents would allow, finally ending the night by watching Christmas movies and eating warm cookies with hot chocolate and milk. Christen only checks her phone a few times, and she’s disappointed to have not heard from Tobin again but she can only hope that Tobin is having as perfect of a Christmas as she is.

 

Christen doesn’t hear from Tobin until she’s finishing up a long walk with her sisters and cousins and the dogs the day after Christmas. She’s laughing at their attempts to ride the hover boards that her cousins had gotten for Christmas, having turned down their offers to let her try, not wanting to risk getting hurt. She’s unclipping Morena’s harness when her phone starts to vibrate from her pocket.

“Hey babe,” she answers distractedly, holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she tries to unclip Khaleesi’s harness, struggling a bit as Khaleesi tries to pull away and run up the driveway with her sister.

“Hi,” Tobin responds quietly. “You busy?”

“No, what’s up?” Christen answers, pulling back on Khaleesi’s leash. “SIT,” she commands, the phone slipping a little as Khaleesi wiggles.

“What?” Tobin asks.

Christen groans as she finally gets the harness unclipped and stands, adjusting the phone. “Nothing, sorry I wasn’t talking to you,” she answers Tobin, squeezing the phone between her shoulder and ear again as she uses her hands to wind up the leashes.

“Oh, do you want me to call you back?” Tobin asks, her voice barely audible.

“No, it’s fine but I can barely hear you,” Christen says, walking up the driveway to the front door. She walks inside with the dogs on her heels and deposits their leashes in the closet, before finally grabbing the phone and letting her shoulder drop. “Tobin? You still there?” she asks a little breathlessly, walking into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” Tobin answers.

Christen’s brow furrows as she hears her girlfriend’s voice. “What’s wrong?" 

“Nothing,” Tobin mutters.

“Babe,” Christen warns, walking upstairs to her room. “What’s going on?”

She can hear Tobin sigh on the other side of the phone as she walks into her room and clicks the door shut behind her. She kicks her shoes off and climbs onto her bed waiting for Tobin to answer. 

“Talk to me Tobs,” she prods gently. “Do you want me to Facetime you?”

“No, that’s okay,” Tobin says finally. “Just- Can you just be honest with me for a minute?”

Christen’s heart starts to race a little as she wonders where this is going. “Yeah, of course,” she answers, trying to keep her voice steady. 

Tobin pauses and takes a deep breath and Christen wishes she was able to see her, having gotten better at reading her nonverbal cues over the past few months. Just when she’s about to say something to break the silence, Tobin speaks up. 

“Do you think it’s stupid for me to put so much time and energy into soccer and not anything else? Like my classes or whatever?” Tobin blurts out. 

Christen’s eyes widen in confusion, not having expected that. “What? No, of course not. Why?”

“I just- I don’t know. My dad was asking about my grades earlier and my sisters know I wasn’t doing so hot earlier in the semester so I told him that but I was saying how I was able to pull my grades up a little by doing okay on my finals. He just thinks that I should be prioritizing school over soccer not the other way around. He thinks soccer is a waste of my time. He’s worried that I’ll get hurt or not be drafted after I graduate and then I’ll have nothing to fall back on,” Tobin explains.

Christen hums in understanding, taking a moment to think of her response before speaking. “Babe, first of all, there is no way that you don’t get drafted. And I don’t think you’re wasting your time on soccer at all, but he might be right that it might be a good idea to have a back up plan just in case. Have you ever thought about what you’d like to do if you couldn’t play soccer?” Christen asks gently.

Tobin groans in frustration. “Seriously, you’re agreeing with him? No, Press I haven’t. You don’t get it. I don’t want a back up plan I just want to play soccer. School is just something I have to endure so I can play. Being at UNC is pointless for me. I should have just signed with Lyon and left when I had the chance.”

“Oh,” Christen whispers, swallowing hard.

Tobin is quiet for a moment so Christen clears her throat and speaks again. “I should go,” she says, her voice rough. 

“Fuck,” Tobin mutters. “Wait, Chris. Don’t hang up. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

Christen opens and closes her mouth, trying to think of a response but drawing a blank.

“I meant that classes are pointless for me, that’s it. I love being at UNC. I love our team. I love playing with you and living with you and getting to see you everyday and I don’t regret not signing with Lyon I promise,” she insists. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Christen says softly. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was siding with your dad or something.”

“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I bet you have like a ton of back up plans, huh?”

“I mean, yeah, I have a few. But it’s different for me. I’m not as good as you and my chances of ever getting drafted are way lower than you. You will get drafted. I probably will have to get a job after college,” Christen explains.

“Seriously?” Tobin laughs. “Babe, you have no idea how good you are, do you? You’re gunna get drafted too. Hopefully to whatever team I end up on so we can keep being unstoppable. I’m not just saying this because I’m your girlfriend either. I promise you’re going to be able to keep playing soccer after college.”

“Pinky promise?” Christen asks, a smile now on her face.

“Pinky promise,” Tobin confirms. “You’ll have to wait until I’m there for me to seal it with a kiss though.” 

“I can’t wait.”

“Me either,” Tobin says, her voice soft. “Soon baby. But let me go, I gotta get dressed for dinner. I’ll text you before bed okay?”

“Alright, talk to you later,” Christen answers, pulling the phone away from her face and getting up from her bed.

 

A couple days later, Christen is straightening her hair when her phone buzzes on her night table where it’s charging. She had been waiting for a call from Tobin so she quickly gets up and grabs it, but frowns when she sees a number that she doesn’t recognize. She considers not answering but it’s an LA area code so she slides her thumb across the screen to answer.

“Hello?” she asks, unplugging her charger and walking back towards her straightener.

“Hi, can I please speak to Christen Press?” a woman’s voice asks.

“This is her,” Christen responds, her brow furrowed.

“Hi Christen, this is Amanda calling from US Soccer. I wanted to call and tell you that we were impressed by your season at UNC this year and we want invite you into the January training camp with the U-23 team in Carson, California.”

Christen pulls the phone away from her face and looks at it in disbelief, wondering if she’s being pranked, before she realizes she should probably say something. “Oh, uh, wow, that would be amazing, thank you so much,” she stutters out, her voice high and shaky.

“Great!” Amanda exclaims. “The camp is going to run January 6th through the 13th. We can handle travel arrangements for you. I’m going to email you with some information and some forms that I need you to fill out and send back, okay?”

“Of course,” Christen squeaks out before confirming her email address.

“Okay Christen, you should get the email within the next few hours. Send back those forms as soon as you can and we can arrange for your travel to Carson.” 

“Okay,” Christen nods.

“Great. Congratulations! See you in a few weeks.” 

“Thank you. See you in a few weeks,” Christen answers, hanging up the phone and staring at it for a few minutes, trying to process what just happened. She takes a deep breath and unlocks her phone, quickly clicking into her favorites and bringing her phone back up to her ear. 

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” she mutters, listening to the dial tone.

“Yo.”

“Tobin,” Christen whispers, before bursting into tears.

“Christen? Are you okay? Are you crying? What’s wrong?” Tobin asks, concern evident in her voice.

“No,” Christen sobs out.

“No what? No you’re not okay? Babe, breathe. Talk to me. What’s going on?” Tobin questions, sounding a little panicked.

“No,” Christen repeats, trying to pull herself together. “I’m not- I- Tobin,” she stutters, embarrassed by her emotional reaction.

“I’m here baby,” Tobin soothes. “It’s gunna be okay. I got you. Just breathe okay? Breathe and talk to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Christen says, still trying to compose herself.

“But you’re crying,” Tobin states, obviously confused.

Christen pulls in a deep breath, wiping at her cheeks. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” she laughs out, sniffling. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m happy.”

“You’re happy?” Tobin asks, skeptically. “What’s going on?”

“I just got a call and I was invited to the U23 January camp!” she squeals, grinning widely.

“Are you kidding me?” Tobin exclaims loudly. “That’s so fucking awesome babe! Holy crap, I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m so excited. I can’t even believe it.” 

“That’s so incredible Chris. I’m excited for you. But I’m not surprised, they’d be stupid not to call you in after the season you had. What’d your parents say?”

“I didn’t tell them yet,” Christen admits. “I literally hung up the phone and called you right away.”

“I’m the first person you told?” Tobin asks, her voice full of wonder. “I’m honored,” she giggles.

Christen laughs, wiping her eyes. “I should go tell my parents and sisters though. Talk to you later?”

“Yeah, go tell them. I’m really happy for you babe.” 

“Thanks Tobs,” Christen grins before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

  

She cries again telling her parents but her mom cries too, so it’s okay. There are a million hugs and questions and her dad insists that they go out to a fancy dinner instead of grilling the chicken that’s marinating in the fridge.

Christen gets the email and fills out the forms, scanning and resending them before getting ready for dinner. The family goes to a nice steak and sushi restaurant and Christen eats way too much, changing into sweats and collapsing onto the couch when they get home. 

She’s scrolling through Netflix with her sisters, trying to settle on a movie to watch when Tobin calls. She quickly grabs her phone to answer, concerned about why Tobin would be calling when it’s so late on the east coast. 

“Be right back, pick a movie while I’m gone,” she instructs her sisters, sliding her thumb across the screen and walking to the back door. 

“Hello,” she asks warily, softly closing the door behind her.

“Happy birthday,” Tobin says excitedly when Christen answers. “It’s midnight on the east coast.”

“Thank you baby,” Christen laughs, sitting down in one of the patio chairs. “You didn’t have to stay up for me.” 

“I was up anyway. What are you up to?” Tobin responds. “I’m laying in bed so I can’t promise I’ll be up when it’s midnight on the west coast. Sorry.” 

“That’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to stay up. I was just about to watch a movie with Tyler and Channing. What are you doing tomorrow? Can we Facetime?”

“Uh, I’m getting brunch with Perry and Katie and then just have to run some errands,” Tobin murmurs, sounding sleepy. “Can we Facetime tomorrow night?” 

Christen squints her eyes, trying to picture her planner to see what she has scheduled for the next day. “Mmm, yeah, I think I should be able to. I know that I’m getting dinner with my sisters for my birthday but I’m not sure what time or where. They said it’s a surprise. But I think if you Facetime me at like dinnertime your time I should be able to talk for a while. Or I can Facetime you after dinner if you’re still awake,” Christen offers. 

“Yeah, that works. I can Facetime like 6ish my time? That’s 3 for you. That’s okay?”

“Yeah, I should be home. It’s a date,” Christen smiles.

“Should I get dressed up? Or maybe undressed?” Tobin teases.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Christen muses.

“I like the way you think Christen Press. I’ll let you get back to your movie though. I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” Christen agrees, standing up to go back inside. “Night Tobs.”

“Night gorgeous,” Tobin murmurs. “Happy birthday again.”

Christen walks back inside, unable to wipe the grin off her face despite the relentless teasing from her sisters.

 

Christen’s mom wakes her up the next morning with homemade waffles, eggs, bacon, sausage, and fresh fruit along with juice and a French press full of fresh coffee. She sticks a candle into Christen’s waffle and the family sings an enthusiastic rendition of ‘happy birthday’ before digging in to the spread that Christen’s mom has put out.

After breakfast, Christen gets dressed and meets some friends at the local rec fields, doing drills and taking shots while her friends goof around and watch her.

She showers quickly when she gets home, expecting Tobin’s Facetime call any minute. She throws her wet hair into a bun and puts on a loose t shirt and sleep boxers, grabbing her laptop and climbing into bed to wait for Tobin’s call.

She grabs her phone and scrolls through Twitter and Instagram while she waits, killing time until she gets sucked in and stalks a random YouTuber’s entire page, even clicking into their YouTube channel to scoff at their dramatically overproduced wedding video. She doesn’t even realize how long she’s been mindlessly scrolling until she glances at the time and sees it’s almost 3:40 and she still hasn’t heard from Tobin.

She calls her but gets her voicemail, so shoots her a text checking to see if she had forgotten and if everything is okay. She waits a little while longer before sighing and closing her laptop, climbing out of bed and putting it on her desk. She’s looking through her closet and trying to decide what to wear to dinner when she hears Tyler yelling for her to come downstairs. 

She walks over to her door and pulls it open to yell back. “I’ll be down in a little bit!”

“No, come down now,” her sister yells back. “I wanna give you your gift now so I don’t have to take it to dinner with us!”

“Fine,” Christen groans, yanking the door open to walk out of her room. She can hear her phone buzzing behind her and she assumes it’s Tobin but after making her wait for almost an hour for her call she decides to let Tobin sweat it out for a little bit. She bounds down the stairs, looking for her sister. 

“Where are you?” she calls out, looking around the empty living room.

“Kitchen!” Tyler calls back, appearing in the kitchen doorway. “Close your eyes,” she commands. 

“Seriously?” Christen asks, rolling her eyes and slowing her walk as she approaches her sister.

“Yes, seriously. Close ‘em,” Tyler insists, pointing a finger at Christen. 

“Okay, fine,” Christen obliges, squeezing her eyes shut and coming to a stop in front of Tyler. 

“Good,” Tyler says, grabbing Christen’s hands and pulling her slowly forward into the kitchen. She comes to a stop and releases her grip on Christen’s hands. “Okay, now count to ten and then open them,” Tyler instructs seriously. 

Christen sighs but starts counting loudly. When she reaches ten she opens her eyes and finds herself standing in an empty kitchen, facing the island with no present on it. “Tyler! What the-,” her words are cut off when she feels a pair of hands cover her eyes from behind. 

“Guess who?” a familiar voice murmurs in her ear. 

“Fuck…” Christen finishes her earlier statement, reaching up to grab the hands and peal them off of her face. She whirls around, her eyes widening. “Tobin,” she squeals, launching herself at her girlfriend and throwing her arms around her neck. “What are you doing here? When did you get here? How did you get here?” she asks rapid fire, squeezing Tobin tightly.

Tobin wraps her arms around Christen, leaning back to lift her a few inches off the ground and laughing at her questions. “I’m here to see you! I just got here. Tyler picked me up at the airport,” she explains, dropping Christen back to the ground and untangling from her arms. “Now do I get a kiss hello or what?” she teases. 

Christen nods, putting her hands on either side of Tobin’s face and leaning in to kiss her. The kiss is short and not their best work with the way Christen can’t stop giggling and Tobin can’t wipe the grin off of her face to kiss her properly, but neither of them mind. “We’ll work on that,” Tobin laughs, leaning back in to peck Christen on the lips one more time before pulling back. “Okay, so Tyler’s dinner plans were fake but if you wanna have dinner with your sisters we could do that. Or, I was thinking maybe we could just grab something to go and eat down at the beach and watch the sunset. Up to you birthday girl,” Tobin smiles, grabbing Christen’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Beach and sunset sounds like the perfect birthday to me,” Christen says, looking down at her outfit. “But I do need to change. C’mon, you can put your bags in my room.” 

“Alright, but I kinda have a lot cuz I brought my shit for camp too,” Tobin admits sheepishly, walking into the dining room where she and Tyler had stashed her bags. 

Christen trails behind her and rolls her eyes when she sees that Tobin’s definition of ‘a lot’ is a big US Soccer rolling bag, her backpack, and a small carry on. “Oh yeah babe, I don’t know if I’ll be able to fit all of this in my room,” Christen teases, grabbing Tobin’s backpack and the carry on and leading the way up the stairs.

She busies herself with getting clothes out to change into and Tobin flops down onto her bed and intertwines her hands behind her head, watching her. “So are your parents gunna be cool with me sleeping in here? Or I’m okay with sleeping on the couch or whatever, it’s no big deal,” Tobin offers, her eyes following Christen’s every move.

“Hmm,” Christen hums, considering it as she rifles through her drawer for a t shirt. “I think they’ll be cool with it. We just won’t say anything and see if they say anything about it,” she grins triumphantly when she pulls out the shirt she had been looking for. 

“Gotcha,” Tobin replies.

Christen shoots her a quick smile and hesitates before pulling her shirt off, suddenly shy in front of her girlfriend. She turns away from her and pulls her shirt off, quickly putting on a bra and her t shirt. She shimmies out of her shorts next, pulling on underwear and a pair of jean shorts. She turns back around to face Tobin as she zips and buttons the shorts and finds her staring back at her, a familiar look on her face. 

“Nuh uh,” Christen shakes her head at Tobin. “I’m starving and it’s my birthday and right now I want In-N-Out to eat, not you,” she teases.

Tobin rolls her eyes and sits up in bed. “Fine,” she groans. “I should get changed too though,” she gestures to the joggers and t shirt that she must have worn on the plane.

“Chris! Granfran is on the phone to wish you a happy birthday,” Tyler screams from downstairs.

“Go ahead. I’ll meet you down there,” Tobin urges, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

Christen slides her feet into flip flops and presses a quick kiss to Tobin’s lips before walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her and walking downstairs to talk to her grandmother.

 

A few minutes later she’s sitting in the living room and waiting for Tobin after hanging up with her grandmother. She hears her door open upstairs and stands up, walking to the bottom of the stairs. Tobin comes sprinting down the steps, her hand hovering over the banister, ready to catch herself if she stumbled.

“Do you do anything slowly?” Christen teases as Tobin reaches the bottom and comes to a stop in front of her.

“I’ll do you slowly,” Tobin mutters suggestively, stepping closer and putting her hands onto Christen’s hips, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“Clever,” Christen grins, stepping back out of Tobin’s grip. “In-N-Out, not sex,” she reminds her, grabbing her keys and wallet off the table by the door.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tobin groans, following Christen to the front door. “Can I drive?”

Christen dangles her keys off her finger and holds them back to Tobin as she walks out of the door towards the driveway.

“Sweet,” Tobin exclaims, grabbing the keys and following Christen to her car.

They go through the In-N-Out drive thru, getting shakes, fries, and burgers before driving to the nearest beach. 

“Hang on, I have a blanket in the back,” Christen says as the get out of the car, handing Tobin the bag of food to hold.

“Of course you do,” Tobin laughs, gripping the food bag in one hand and balancing their shakes in the other. 

Christen grabs her beach blanket out of the trunk before taking her shake out of Tobin’s hand and leading the way down to the sand. They still have about a half an hour or so until sunset so they pick a good spot to set up the blanket and sit down to dig in to their food, laughing and talking and enjoying each other’s company. 

Tobin runs their garbage up the beach to a trash can before returning to the blanket with just a few minutes until sunset, settling in at Christen’s side. Christen studies her profile as Tobin looks out at the waves, taking in the warm brown eyes and sun kissed tan skin and sharp jawline that she missed so much over the past couple of weeks. Tobin must feel her gaze because she turns to look at Christen, a self conscious smile playing on her lips. “What?” she asks, her eyes searching Christen’s face.

Christen just shakes her head, smiling. “Nothing,” she says softly. “I’m just so glad you’re here.”

Tobin’s face lights up at that and she pulls Christen over so she’s sitting between her legs and leaning back into Tobin’s chest, Tobin’s arms wrapped around her. “I’m glad I’m here too,” she murmurs in Christen’s ear, pressing a kiss the the edge of her jaw just below her ear.

Christen just hums and leans back into Tobin further, enjoying her warmth as they quietly watch the sun dip into the ocean. After a few minutes of silence, Tobin subtlety shifts behind her. “So, do you want your present now?” she asks. 

Christen leans forward to look at Tobin, her brow furrowed. “You have it with you?” she asks in confusion. 

Tobin just nods, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

“No fair,” Christen pouts. “Your present is at home.”

“That’s okay,” Tobins says, shaking her head. “This one is your birthday and Christmas combined and I know you hate that but hopefully it’s okay just this once.” 

“Of course it’s okay,” she reassures. “You didn’t have to get me anything Tobs. You being here is enough of a present for me.”

“I know but I wanted to get you this,” Tobin explains, reaching in to her pocket and pulling out a small red jewelry box, holding it out to Christen. 

Christen’s eyes widen when she reads the word printed in gold on the top of the box and she takes it from Tobin’s palm with a shaky hand. She flips it open and gasps when she sees a slightly smaller version of the ring Tobin wears every day. “Oh Tobin,” she whispers in disbelief as she takes the ring out and slides it onto her right ring finger, amazed when it fits perfectly. “I love it. But this is so much.”

Tobin waves off her concern and grabs her hand to look at the ring, holding up her own hand so Christen can see that they match. “Do you remember what kind of ring this is?” she questions, lacing their fingers together. 

“Cartier?” Christen asks, still marveling at the gold band on her finger. 

“Well yeah,” Tobin responds. “But I mean like the name of the ring.” 

“Oh,” Christen says, lifting her eyes to look at Tobin’s face. “A love ring?” she asks slowly. 

Tobin nods, her eyes wide. “Right, a love ring so uh, well that’s why I wanted to get it for you,” she starts, her eyes drifting down to look at their joined hands. “Because I know it’s crazy and that we’ve only been together officially for like 2 months but I just feel like, I don’t know. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I hope you feel the same way but I love you Christen,” she finishes, finally looking back up to meet Christen’s gaze. 

Christen is rendered speechless for the moment so she does the next best thing to responding, placing her hand on Tobin’s jaw and leaning forward to kiss her slowly and deeply. When she leans back to catch her breath she squeezes Tobin’s hand and smiles warmly at her. “I love you too Tobin,” she whispers, before leaning forward to capture her lips with her own again, the sun completely set over the ocean behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Lmk your thoughts. I won't be gone for tooo long, I already have something else in the works (neighbor dog au!!), follow me on Tumblr to keep up to date on the progress

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: 5-oclock-somewhere.tumblr.com


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